#545 - Doctor Mike's Hardest Challenge Yet!

Summary

The Basement Yard #545 - Doctor Mike’s Hardest Challenge Yet!

Released: March 9, 2026 | Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez | Guest: Dr. Mike (Mikhail Varshavski, DO)

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Episode Overview

This episode features YouTube-famous physician Dr. Mike, known for blending humor and real medical knowledge to tackle health myths and answer burning questions. Joe and Frank barrage Dr. Mike with medical curiosities, urban legends, health advice, and wild hypotheticals, creating an episode packed with laughs, pop-culture references, and genuine educational moments. Dr. Mike’s patience and clarity shine as he navigates the unpredictable basement banter.

Tone: Humorous, irreverent, skeptical, candid, friendly.

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Major Topics & Insights

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Welcoming Dr. Mike & Doctor Stereotypes

[00:00–02:20]

• Joe and Frank rib Dr. Mike for being the “smartest guest ever, by 100 million miles.”
• Jokes about YouTube guest heights and “short doctor” stereotypes.
• Limb lengthening surgery: Dr. Mike explains the painful, lengthy process, and the medical vs. cosmetic uses.
  • Quote [01:49] Dr. Mike: “They create a little space in order for the bone to heal, and they progressively do that over and over again... there’s a lot of rehab.”

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Dealing with Difficult People (and Doctors)

[06:04–08:18]

• Frank asks if doctors get trained to deal with difficult patients (“immunity to logic and facts”).
• Discussion on medical school patience vs. “doctor God complex” stories.
  • Frank recounts a hospital confrontation: “He was like, ‘Listen, young man, consider yourself lucky.’”
  • Dr. Mike on anti-vax debates: “I’ve dealt with people more interested in being immune to logic than to disease.” ([06:07])
• Dr. Mike’s philosophy—be patient, even in the face of wild claims.

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Viewer Medical Questions

Wet Ears & Ear Hygiene

[09:03–12:29]

• Why does someone have “wet ears”? Is it bad?
  • Dr. Mike: Possibilities include infection (discharge), genetics (thin/wet earwax).
  • Warns against Q-tips: “That is the bane of every ENT doctor’s world... they get otitis externa—outer ear infection.” ([11:03])
• Proper ear care: Let ears self-clean; use drops if needed.

Hot Dogs & Health Myths

[16:29–17:21]

• Does eating a hot dog really “take 10 minutes off your life?”
  • Dr. Mike: “Population studies can’t be translated so simply… a hot dog does not shorten your life by 10 minutes.” See [16:54].
  • Recommends limiting ultra-processed meats for colon health but admits to loving hot dogs (20/year on average).
• Classic debate: mustard vs. sauerkraut on hot dogs.

Holding In Pee & Stomach Pain

[27:32–28:44]

• Why does holding pee hurt your stomach?
  • Dr. Mike: “It’s lower abdominal suprapubic discomfort. The longer urine sits in the bladder, the more likely to develop a stone or infection. Keep things moving.”

Urine Drinking (Survival Myths)

[31:22–32:27]

• Is drinking urine hydrating? (Bear Grylls myth)
  • Dr. Mike: “No. It’s waste, not toxins, but it does not hydrate you.”
  • On celebrity questions: Reveals being asked by a well-known actress if she should drink urine (tricked by a castmate with a fake-urine prank).
  • Quote [36:04] Dr. Mike: “She could reach out to Ivy League physicians… and she goes, ‘Let me ask the YouTube dude.’”

Hospital Smell & Cleanliness

[59:15–61:46]

• Why do hospitals all smell the same?
  • Dr. Mike: Disinfectants, low humidity, and HEPA filtration—no “pumped scent.”
  • Disposable paper on exam tables is for hygiene (“Do you want to sit in someone else’s butt goop?”—[60:30]).
• Surprise inspections (JCAHO) keep practices up to standard.

Male Nipples, the Appendix & Body Evolution

[44:45–45:58], [46:04–47:27], [84:51–84:57]

• Are male nipples “useless”? Can they lactate?
  • Dr. Mike: They can lactate with certain hormone imbalances or drugs; they're a “normal human blueprint.”
• Is the appendix useless?
  • Dr. Mike: Plays a young-immune and microbiome role, but not life-sustaining.
  • “You can live without it, but it has some uses.”
• What body parts might we evolve beyond? Possibly molars due to smaller mouths, but “I’m not a dentist.”
• “Fart holding”: not dangerous, just uncomfortable (might be absorbed and exhaled).

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Myths, Urban Legends & Gross-out Moments

Cockroach Eggs in the Tongue

[14:11–15:32]

• Classic 90s urban legend—debunked, labeled a hoax.

Hot Dog Disasters

[24:00–24:55]

• Joe and Frank share tales of the worst hot dogs they’ve ever encountered—including a wet hot dog with “raw ham.”

Fart Absorption

[86:33–87:14]

• Dr. Mike: Gas from farts can be absorbed by the intestine and exhaled through the lungs—leads to “fart is in your belly, in your mouth” jokes.
• “Your intestines are permeable to certain gases...released by your lungs.” ([87:05])

The Body as a Straw?

[87:46–88:26]

• Frank’s wild thought experiment: If the GI tract is just a tube, can you siphon water through from one end to the other? Dr. Mike: “Too many sphincters prevent that.”

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Lifestyle, Sleep, and Modern Health

Everyday Bad Habits

[67:25–68:33]

• Dr. Mike: The worst health habit people ignore daily is poor sleep hygiene.
  • Sleep deprivation impacts healing, weight gain, mental health, hormones (“We need to make love to our sleep”—[68:40]).
  • Most people want a pill, but routine matters more.

Melatonin, Magnesium, & “Sleepy Dogs”

[70:04–72:54]

• Melatonin is useful for jet lag, not for chronic use.
• People overdose on melatonin (should be 1–3mg).
• Frank’s invention: hot dogs with melatonin (“Sleepy Dogs”).

Pre-bed Blue Light Routine

[72:54–74:53]

• Dr. Mike recommends cutting blue light an hour before bed; avoid social media/news if it spikes anxiety.

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Real Doctor Life: Recognition, Fighting, & YouTube

“Are you my YouTube doctor?”

[37:07–38:33]

• Dr. Mike says “patients recognize me all the time now, but it’s mostly positive.”

Medical TV Shows

[54:21–54:57]

• Which show is the most medically accurate?
  • Dr. Mike: “The Pit. 10 out of 10. I wish they did chest compressions a little better.”

Unlikely Career Twists

[106:12–108:16]

• Dr. Mike is also a professional boxer, fought on Jake Paul’s undercard, and donates earnings to charity.
• Quote [106:12]: “I fought on Showtime pay-per-view...we were able to donate $125,000 to the Harlem Boys & Girls Club.”

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“Dumb” and Delightfully Childish Questions

• Why are there so many butt/kid questions? (farts, blue balls, raw milk, sphincters, appendix, hospital smells, milk a cow, TV fears, etc.)
• Many running jokes: Frank’s sepsis/medical disasters, bodega “horny goat weed,” blue balls, “don’t trust RFK,” RFK’s love of raw milk.
• Dr. Mike’s astonishing patience in the face of the hosts’ relentless "dumbest questions."

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Notable Quotes, Moments & Timestamps

• “I’ve dealt with people more interested in being immune to logic than to disease.” – Dr. Mike [06:07]
• “The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both.” – Frank (misquoting), recurring joke [04:59]
• “Hot dogs do not take 10 minutes off your life, but...they’re ultra-processed meat. Limit them.” – Dr. Mike [16:54]
• “Self-cleaning: ears and vaginas, two miracles of life.” – Dr. Mike [15:12], and the hosts lose it
• “Trust your doctor, not RFK.” – Dr. Mike [105:43]
• “Why don’t you doctors ever think about prevention? Vaccines, that’s prevention!” – Dr. Mike [104:42]
• “We need to make love to our sleep.” – Dr. Mike [68:40]
• “Your intestines are permeable to certain gases...and can be released by your lungs.” – Dr. Mike [87:05]
• “It’s a vascular issue. Blue balls is epididymal congestion, not semen build up.” – Dr. Mike [93:24]

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Funniest / Most Memorable Moments

• Dr. Mike being asked by Kristen Bell if she should drink her urine, only to discover it was a prank by a castmate. [36:04]
• Long riff on blue balls: They’re not a “penis heart attack.” [93:40]
• Frank’s “body as a straw” theory and Dr. Mike’s deadpan “too many sphincters for that.” [88:26]
• Raw milk, milking cows at field trips, and debates about what kind of person first thought to drink milk (“Who looks at a cow udder and decides, ‘I want that?’”) [102:04]
• Dr. Mike revealing he’s fought as a pro boxer on Jake Paul’s undercard, donating fees to charity. [106:12]
• Bodega “horny goat weed” and youth candy debates. [94:33]
• Are you afraid of the dark? Television nostalgia and Scholastic book fairs. [101:12]

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Lightning Round: Quick Q&A (Selection by Timestamps)

• Limb-lengthening surgery explanation: [01:41–02:22]
• Medical patience & anti-vax debates: [06:07–06:15]
• Q-tips & ear infections (otitis externa): [11:03–12:29]
• How many hot dogs does Dr. Mike eat? [21:25]
• Hospital inspections & JCAHO: [62:16]
• Do male nipples serve a purpose? [45:55–46:30]
• Is holding in a fart dangerous? [84:51–85:08]
• How do you “absorb” a fart? [86:33–87:14]
• What happens in cardiac arrest (CPR)? [54:53–55:52]
• How useful are blue light glasses for sleep? [72:54]
• Dr. Mike’s most unhealthy habit: [77:08]
• Dr. Mike as a pro-boxer: [106:12]

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Final Sentiments

Dr. Mike to the listeners:
“Trust your doctor, not RFK. The whole purpose is to get everyone on the same page. Vaccines only work when all of us buy in, and I'm telling the truth.” ([105:43])

Hosts wrap-up:
Thank Dr. Mike for his open, witty, and resilient approach to medical questions—no matter how outlandish. Pledge to keep the “Dr. Mike button” on standby for future mythbusting emergencies.

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Follow Dr. Mike

YouTube/Instagram: @DoctorMike
Noted: “Check it out. Dr. Mike. It's everywhere. It's pretty cool that I own Dr. Mike—like, that's a pretty common name.” ([108:30])

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Summary compiled using the natural wit and banter of The Basement Yard, with Dr. Mike’s expert insights and the hosts’ penchant for ridiculous (but relatable) questions. For anyone who loves science, pop culture, and pure podcast chaos, this episode delivers both hilarity and health wisdom in spades.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard. Today, me and Frank are on the same side because we have a special guest. The smartest person who's ever been on this show by 100 million miles.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Dr. Mike is with us.

[C]

I don't know if this is a diss or a.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

How is that?

[A]

That's. Well, it's out now, to be fair.

[B]

To be fair. In our current setup, the only other people we've had on here are Rhett and Link. And they're very smart.

[A]

I forgot about them.

[B]

They're very smart, but not as medically smart.

[C]

And part of them is really tall.

[B]

Bro. What is with.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Wait. Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna say this. If you're watching someone on YouTube, chances are they're over six and a half feet tall. I don't know what the fuck. This guy walked in, and I'm expecting Dr. Mike to come in, and he's like, a doctor. I've always had short doctors. Well, because a lot of them have a God complex, and that's crazy. I mean, it's true.

[C]

I mean, surgeons.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

I would probably throw surgeons.

[B]

That's what I was referencing as well.

[A]

Do you find that a lot of doctors are shorter than you?

[C]

I think it's a mixed bag.

[B]

You're six two.

[C]

Yeah, six three.

[B]

Me, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, you're not.

[C]

Well, if I'm wearing my Vomero Premium Pluses or whatever they're called, then I'm easily 6 5.

[B]

What is Dr. Shoes?

[C]

No, those are like the new Nikes that have the amount of padding that basically, you don't need to hide your inserts.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Gotcha. So you're going like, Tom Cruise level inserts on these.

[C]

Proud of those inserts.

[B]

Good for you.

[A]

Maybe I should wear an insert.

[B]

You definitely should.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Or get the. The surgery that, like, can make legs.

[C]

Don't do that.

[A]

Is that a thing?

[B]

I heard it's very painful, though.

[C]

It's called the limb.

[B]

Take a hammer and they. Hey, we're gonna let him.

[C]

I've also never performed this procedure. No. Nor have I consulted on that procedure. But, yes, that's the.

[B]

They.

[A]

They break it, but they do, like,

[C]

they create a little space in order for the bone to heal, and they progressively do that over and over again.

[B]

I saw this in a movie recently.

[A]

Your bones will just heal towards each other.

[C]

Yeah, the space is really little. And over time. Oh, and they have these screws that they tighten and they keep growing Bro.

[B]

The materialists. Was that the one? Dakota Johnson. You've seen it too, right? Pedro Pascal is like 5, 2, and then all of a sudden she finds out, oh, he got the tall guy surgery and he's like 6:1.

[A]

So he.

[C]

Benjamin Button. He.

[B]

He. He reversed Benjamin Button. Okay, how.

[A]

How long is that process?

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's long, it's tough.

[C]

And imagine you're not walking comfortably. So there's a lot of rehab required for that.

[A]

It sounds like years.

[B]

And it sounds expensive. Like, it's like. I'm sure it is classified as cosmetic, as us medical professionals would understand.

[C]

Well, it is in some cases, but there are cases medically where someone has, let's say, bowed legs and they need to straighten them. So in those situations, you're using the procedure for function purposes.

[B]

We all knew that person in high school that walked like they rode a horse.

[A]

I know, but they always had a great jump shot for some reason.

[B]

Unbelievable jump shot. But they shot it like this.

[A]

Yeah, but.

[C]

Well, you know, now everyone who is one of those three point shooting champions that set all the Guinness World Records, they don't have good form.

[B]

Oh, you're talking basketball, brother.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're above my head. Go back to the medical stuff.

[C]

You haven't seen.

[B]

I'm not. Again, basketball is not my thing. I'm a baseball football guy. Okay, But I know you're talking. This is the basketball guy over here.

[C]

But you've seen what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. They do this very awkward shooting form that if you play in a pickup game, you'll get blocked nine out of ten times.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But when you're just shooting by yourself, you can make 10.

[A]

Just hit him, Doc.

[B]

You ball up?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Ball up.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You got a jumper?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Guy's tall too. He usually, he's like, I'll grab boards.

[A]

He's not great.

[C]

I played in Madison Square Garden before I played.

[B]

So have we. Yeah.

[C]

Where did you guys play?

[B]

The main stage. No, no.

[C]

Like, for what? We did a show. Oh, we did our show. Oh, all right. That's a bigger flick.

[B]

That's kind of cool though, too.

[C]

If you said Hulu theater, it would have been a better laugh, though.

[D]

I played on the court.

[B]

What? This is not your show. Right. Now back to us.

[A]

What the hell are you wearing?

[D]

I was a plague doctor and I was going to wear this, but I couldn't breathe and you guys didn't send it to me fast enough.

[C]

So.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just going to hold it. Just show them it doesn't matter. Okay, shove it down your throat.

[D]

But, yeah, I played. I played on the court.

[C]

What the hell?

[B]

Yeah, sorry about that. Well, thanks for joining us today. We really appreciate it. We're excited. Now that we know that you also play basketball, we're going to challenge you to a game of basketball one day.

[C]

Hype.

[B]

But we. In preparation for the show, we talk a lot professionally and some would argue stupidly. And we often pretend that we know the answers to a lot of what we're talking about when chances are one of us doesn't. One of us is on a hot streak lately.

[A]

He had one episode last week that he said, like, two things that were

[C]

correct in a row. What were the things?

[B]

Well, one of them, you know, put

[A]

this one to bed.

[B]

You don't need to be a doctor

[A]

to figure this one out. But he can't get an expression correctly. And he said, what was it?

[D]

Which part?

[A]

You know it.

[B]

So here's the expression. Tell me if you've heard it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both. That's incorrect, bro. That's an insane thing.

[C]

My only question here. What phase of your life were you hearing? And then what phase of your life were you repeating that statement

[B]

with the

[A]

most confidence on this show?

[B]

When have I repeated it? All phases, Every phase, every. As soon as I heard it, I said, wow, that's really good.

[A]

He's a walking example of if you just say something like, definitively. Yeah. People usually just get out of the way.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Well, hold on now you're painting me as some sort of psychopath here.

[A]

What do you think the show is?

[B]

I mean, you just did a video where you. Well, not just it, but like, you. You talk to a bunch of like.

[A]

Oh, surrounded.

[B]

Yeah. Surrounded by, like, anti vaxxers and stuff.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. So you've probably dealt with people like Joey and I. We're like, we're gonna say it, we're gonna be confident about it. I'm not an anti vaxxer either. Let me make that very clear. The generality of, like, we're gonna say it, we're gonna be confident about it, and we're not gonna look up any truth. Truth behind it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

How do you. Can you confirm that you've dealt with people like that?

[C]

I've dealt with people who were less interested in being immune to disease and more interested in being. Being immune to logic and facts.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was honestly impressed with your restraint, dude, watching that.

[C]

Why you would. You would fist no I would just be like, I.

[A]

Like, at a certain. Because you were just so patient and nice with them that I'm like, at a certain point. Because they are saying offensive things. Yeah. At one point, someone's like, no, because I actually read.

[C]

And I'm like, no. She goes, I actually read and study. Which is wild. I mean, because I was like, are you discounting the decade plus of education? You thought I didn't read?

[B]

So this is it. This is, like, a serious question that I have now.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, this one?

[B]

Yeah. Like in your school.

[C]

No, I do not lick swords.

[B]

Well, technically speaking, the tongue can lick, but both a pen and a sword. But, like, did you have to go through, like, training on, like, how to deal with people, like, psychologically and stuff

[C]

like that called medical school? Like, I mean, first of all, why is everyone giving me so much credit for being patient? Are your doctors douchebags to you?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

I think.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Kind of, yeah.

[A]

Are they?

[B]

I got into a fight at the hospital last year. I told you this. What, with a. A physical. I couldn't get up. I was in the hospital for some stuff. Infections. That's things.

[A]

That's the medical term.

[C]

We need the plague doctor to come in and confirm.

[B]

But it. So a doctor came in to speak with me and was. You know, I was expressing my frustration with the. The facility with my situation, and he cut me off. And he's like, listen, young man, consider yourself lucky that you're being treat. And, like, listen, I. I am very much so. Like, when it comes to, like, customer service representatives and people dealing with people like that, I. I'm very patient. But in that situation, like, to sit there and just be like, you listen. Like, basically wagging his finger in my face. I was like, what the.

[C]

So that was the God complex I got.

[B]

It was right. I got fucking heated. And Becca, like, my wife, had to, like, put her hands on me. She's like, you need to chill.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Frankie left a bad Yelp review after that.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I'm not big on Yelp. I've never Yelped. I've never y. But. So we, in preparation for today's episode, wrote down a couple questions that we need help with.

[C]

Okay. Personally?

[B]

Well, no, no, no, not personally. Maybe one or two of them might be personal for me. I cannot confirm that all of them will be personal for any of us. Maybe. Ant.

[D]

I see at least seven on there that are specifically personal to me.

[B]

So when we get to them, I don't like that. So I guess we can kind of start with the top one you brought up in one of your videos. So someone in this room has incredibly wet ears now.

[C]

No, that's not how you say it.

[B]

Wet, soaking wet, wet, wet. That's it. Just say a regular wet wet.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You're trying to make it now you're showing up.

[D]

You said regular wet.

[B]

Say it how you would normally say it.

[C]

I have wet ears.

[B]

Yeah. That's crazy. What is this?

[C]

That's interesting.

[A]

Yeah, there's something going on. I do.

[B]

Medically. What the hell is that?

[A]

Yeah, why would he have wet.

[B]

Why would he have wet ears? And, like, could he, like, do something to help?

[D]

Also, they're wet right now.

[B]

Like, a lot right now.

[D]

With these on and this hat, eventually they'll be. They'll be soaking.

[B]

Well, that's sweat.

[D]

No, no, no. Inside, you know.

[A]

Okay, well, like, why would he have wet ears?

[C]

I'm worried about infection.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, because that wet can be discharged.

[B]

Ooh, that's a bad one.

[C]

That's concerning.

[D]

Gross word.

[C]

Also, genetically, his earwax might be thinner.

[B]

Is that a thing? Oh, you're talking shit about your dad, too. Like, your dad is my dad's ear sucked thin. Ear wax ears, dude. So, like, wait, hold on now. This is a serious question, too.

[C]

There's different textures. Some people have thicker ones, some people have drier. Thicker. Some people have wetter.

[A]

Be honest.

[C]

Thinner.

[B]

You like those videos of people, like, getting them out of their ears?

[C]

I hate it.

[B]

Hate getting the earwax out. Yes, I love them.

[C]

Do you know how many people come to me with busted tympanic membranes because they were digging around in their ears after watching a video?

[B]

We're going to back that up real quick.

[A]

What's the definition of that?

[B]

What's a timpani

[C]

eardrum?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That.

[B]

You could have used the layman's territory.

[C]

Oh, I have to flex.

[A]

Where is the eardrum? So if I. Because I have one of those things.

[C]

Yeah, don't look for it.

[B]

So it's next to the hammer and the cockpit.

[C]

Oh, the stabies. You're giving me all the.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

I got stabies, baby. No, there's like the cochlear thing in there, right?

[C]

Yeah, the cochlear nerve.

[B]

So fucking not shit, bro.

[C]

Wait, this is really interesting because everyone loves digging in their ears with Q tips, and that is the bane of every ENT doctor's world and family medicine. Because they create so much irritation inside their ears, they get something known as otitis externa.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

Sounds like a wrestler outer ear infection. That's all it means.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

We like creating fancy terms for don't like young kids.

[A]

He likes doing that too.

[B]

Can't they stop that? Can't you get like a surgery to prevent like chronic ear infections or something like that?

[C]

No, what they do is they put tubes in in order to decrease that pressure from people who get recurrent infections. For kids, usually.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So how am I supposed to clean my ears?

[B]

You don't, dude. Let them cure themselves.

[A]

Yeah, self clean.

[C]

If you get a buildup of earwax and you're like, oh, now I can't hear cause I have a buildup of earwax, there's drops that melt the earwax, make it more wet and it cleans itself and it has a good shape. Actually, the ear canal is shaped such that it's supposed to make the earwax naturally come out. And you could just wipe the outside, which is what's happening, bro.

[B]

I'll be hanging out sometimes and I'll just go like that and fucking earwax will fall out.

[D]

If the Q tips aren't supposed to be in there, why does it feel so good when you put them in your ear?

[B]

Oh, is there like a G spot in your ear?

[C]

I've never heard it ask that way. What happens when you use Q tips, man?

[B]

I don't use Q tips. I am an anti Q tipper. Yeah.

[A]

I haven't used a Q tip in a while.

[C]

The Q tip is meant for external cleaning purposes.

[A]

Like the. Right here.

[C]

Yeah. Okay, so don't put it inside your ear. And what happens is if you have already irritated skin inside the ear canal and then you're rubbing it, just like when you have an itchy spot from like eczema, it's itchy and it feels good to scratch it, but then you're damaging your skin. So same principle, just inside your ear.

[A]

I'll tell you what, there was a time where I've probably done irreversible damage to my ear. Because I'm thinking that if I got this thing, like, I've heard that you don't use a Q tip. You're pushing the earwax in. And that's true too. But so I'm like, okay, that's the only issue with Q tips, because I don't know.

[C]

So you were scooping.

[B]

So I was scooping.

[C]

Oh, that's dangerous.

[A]

Scooping's bad.

[C]

Well, yeah, cuz you're hitting this skin inside there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Again, earwax is also protective. It prevents the ear canal from drying out. It prevents bugs from wanting to hang out there. It catches debris, yo.

[B]

I know. How often does that. Yo, that happens. That shit happens. My fucking. I know someone that, like, they were on, like, a canoe kayak situation down a river and a moth flew in their ear.

[A]

Oh, is that something you see?

[C]

I mean, not often.

[A]

Okay, good.

[C]

But I did just have a pediatric ER doctor come on my show. Tell me about a situation where a child was eating a sandwich and had some throat pain afterwards, and they thought, oh, it's a barbecue. Maybe there was a metal wire grill brush stuck in their throat. And they did see something on the imaging, but they couldn't quite see what it was. Any guesses?

[B]

Spider?

[A]

Ant? I don't know.

[B]

Pray? Mantis.

[D]

Potato chip.

[B]

That's your guess. Potato chip.

[D]

They're spiky. They hurt sometimes. I don't know.

[C]

The final letter of whatever it is that you're saying is always interesting.

[B]

Potato chip, chip. Potato chip.

[C]

Cockroach leg.

[B]

No, I mean leg that's not that bad.

[C]

Leg with the little spines. Oh, that's why I don't know what the medical term for the cockroach leg spine is.

[A]

Yeah, it's like one of those. You know what I mean?

[B]

And they're barbed. Like, barbed bar. I told you, dude.

[A]

I told you.

[B]

I'm the smart one here.

[A]

It's a cockroach leg.

[B]

Well, you grew up in the same. Well, you grew up in New York. You're around our age. You're a couple years older, which means you're basically ancient to us. Did you ever hear the myth of the person that got, like, cockroach eggs in their tongue or something like that? Do you remember that? I remember it was like one of those, like, 90s myths that like. Like Marilyn Manson taking, you know, the ribs out or something like that. But it was like, the story was like someone licked an envelope that had a cockroach egg on it, and it got into, like, the crease of their tongue, and then they had, like, tongue pain and they cut it open and, like, cockroach eggs fell out. And like.

[C]

That sounds like a Ripley's Believe it or Not.

[A]

It does.

[B]

It was. It was. It was. And it was hosted by Dean Cain, and he's never not been anything but incredibly accurate about everything.

[A]

No idea who that is. Well, now I'm just terrified because this thing. Can this. Can. I can my. I'm just. I just irritated my ear, but it's fine. I can.

[C]

Well, I'm hoping you solved it. Like, your body's immune system solved it. And the repair mechanism solved it.

[A]

Well, I haven't. I also didn't know that you just don't clean out your ears. You're not supposed to do that.

[B]

Self cleaning.

[C]

Self cleaning. Ears and vaginas, two miracles of life. No, self cleaning.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Parts of the body and the dog's mouth.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

You should brush that.

[D]

I'm not trying to do this to Frank in front of guests, obviously, but this is good. The cockroach egg case, hatching on the tongue. A persistent urban legend and a hoax.

[B]

That's what I said. It was a popular rumor. I didn't say it was real.

[D]

You asked him.

[C]

You try to get me into that?

[B]

No, I tried to ask if you've ever heard of something like that.

[C]

How much did RFK pay you to say that?

[A]

That's crazy that you're trying.

[B]

None.

[C]

You're trying to get me none.

[B]

He just paid me nothing. Trust me.

[A]

He does love whole milk, though. So we don't know.

[B]

To be fair, whole milk is delicious.

[C]

As long as you don't go raw. We're okay.

[B]

In a hot tub with Kid Rock, though. I don't know any drink that would be good enough to have that.

[A]

Are you a big fan of the raw milk content?

[C]

I am not. I'm the enemy of raw milk.

[B]

No, you're an anti milker.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anti raw milker. An anti raw milker.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, I mean, that's. Well, I think of myself less as an anti raw milker and more of an anti. Get parasite bacteria in your colon. Er.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, we're on the same page.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like we are, right there.

[A]

I'd like to have that out of my colon as well. Well. What?

[B]

I'm not even gonna talk about your colon. Ant. Can you tee up the next question for us, please, sir? Which?

[D]

Anything specific from your life?

[B]

See? Stop doing this, Frankie S. Here. I didn't ask anything. We were asked to provide questions and I provided a ton.

[D]

Okay. So does eating one hot dog really take 10 minutes away from your life? Doesn't apply to you at all.

[B]

That one is me. That one is 100% me. Yeah.

[C]

10 minutes.

[B]

Well, they said. I mean, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do you.

[C]

Who's they?

[B]

Big. They. Medical at large. Big doctor.

[C]

Big doctor.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

These population studies cannot be translated into statistics that simplistically. So when we say, like, oh, in general, nuts are healthy to eat. Yes. People love nuts. People should enjoy nuts. But the nut is not going to make you live eight years longer. So these are epidemiological. Studies that have been oversimplified. So, no, a hot dog does not shorten your life by 10 minutes.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

But it. But it could be a factor in. It could.

[C]

But it's an ultra processed meat, which you should limit in your diet.

[B]

Well, what if you get, like, good deli hot dogs still ultra process. Yeah. What if it's like, does the. Does the Having it with a beer or seven beers offset the damage of the hot.

[C]

You sound like. I had this. This is sick. I had a doctor come on my show and tell me that a healthy diet can remove the negative impacts of smoking. And he's like, if you smoke, you can live longer. He said that on my show to my face, like, yo, if you just.

[B]

You ever want to just rip heater, just fucking bang.

[C]

Like, I want to hit my head against.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, that's why I couldn't believe you.

[A]

When you're watching the. When I'm watching the Surrounded, I'm like, dude, if this is me, you know,

[C]

the smoking thing got me, like, hard. It hit me in the heart. I'm like, you're. You operated on people's hearts, and you

[A]

think smoking makes people live longer. And he's just saying, like, if you eat healthy, but you just.

[C]

Yeah, and he said, the longest living people in the world smoke, so we should also. And I'm like, bro, what is with that?

[A]

That is there's, like, old Italian women who live in the hills, and they're like, oh, I'm 109, and I have wine every day. And I, you know.

[C]

Well, yeah, she's the one that makes the video that goes viral, but her 99 friends that had the same lifestyle that didn't live long. No one's hearing their tik tok from the grave.

[B]

The ones that died at 42.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's why when like, RFK goes, we got to make America healthy again, I'm like, which time frame do you want to go back to? Because in the 1900s, we lived to age 30, right?

[A]

What are you looking for? Ancestors lived. And I'm like, they were 5:2.

[C]

Toe stub meant death. He would visit you in that outfit to help.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Diarrhea.

[B]

You could die from diarrhea.

[A]

I'd be dead 100 million times.

[C]

Worldwide, people are still dying of diarrhea.

[B]

Yeah. It's a problem elsewhere. We know this. Obviously, as medical professional, I.

[A]

Now I'm gonna hit you.

[B]

No, like, obviously, we're big fans of hot dogs here, and we like to indulge every now and every day.

[C]

I'm not hyper optimist. How much enjoy a hot dog?

[B]

How much you like hot dogs?

[C]

I love hot dogs.

[A]

Yeah, Dude.

[C]

Sauerkraut mustard.

[B]

Oh, you lost.

[A]

He hates mustard.

[B]

I hate mustard.

[A]

Yeah. Love sauerkraut.

[B]

Love sauerkraut. Just. It tastes like just garbage to me.

[A]

He had an experience when he was younger, and I think that, like, it just carried. Oh, yeah.

[B]

It shaped the rest of my life.

[C]

What was the experience?

[B]

I was like, feel free to say pass.

[A]

Oh, no, no.

[B]

I'm going to tell you. If you ask me for a story, this could be wildly traumatic. If you're asking for a story, you're getting it.

[A]

My father died in a mustard accident.

[B]

I was, like, young. I was like five or six.

[C]

They cut open his tongue and there was mustard seeds everywhere. Yes.

[B]

Mustard seeds of copper. At the age of, like, when you're a kid, when, like, you want. You need to know exactly what you're eating all the time. I was like, five or six, and someone gave me a bologna sandwich, and I fucking love bologna. And I didn't realize that on the bologna sandwich was mustard. So when I bit into it, the shock, it was so shocking to me. And then, since then, I've not had it. I mean, we could pull back the fourth wall a little bit. I've had mustard recently and, like, in the near, like, recent future. Like, the recent future, the recent past.

[A]

The one that's coming soon.

[B]

The recent past. And it's just like, all right, but, like, yellow mustard. I can't even. I can't even stomach it.

[C]

So golden. Honey, what's.

[B]

I've had, like, like, like, you wouldn't

[C]

dip a Wendy's nugget in a honey mustard.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Honey mustard's crazy that you don't like that.

[B]

No, I can't.

[A]

Honey mustard's candy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But guess what's in it, though.

[A]

Honey and mustard.

[C]

Well, exactly in the Wendy's one. That's questionable.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, we don't guar.

[C]

Gum. They go, like, never frozen meat. But you don't know what's in our honeymoon.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I forgot what it was.

[A]

I think it was like a Starbucks drink or something one time, and they, like, put out this unicorn frappe like that. And literally one of the ingredients was pink.

[B]

Yeah. And I was like, how is that

[A]

legal to say just pink?

[C]

Pink.

[A]

I know it's pink. Yeah.

[B]

Well, we just wanted to make sure we knew where you stood on. On hot dogs.

[C]

I love hot dogs.

[B]

How often how many a year would you say, on average you have? And be honest. Cursing at the top.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Sorry, Doc. Wow.

[C]

I'll have 20 a year, dude.

[A]

That's a good number. 20 a year.

[B]

Damn it. And he's only.

[C]

Because when I do indulge, instead of hot dog, it's crazy. I do three.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You have to.

[A]

If you're at the barbecue, right? And people are like, I'm taking orders. Hot dogs, hamburgers.

[C]

And.

[B]

Are we counting three dogs? Pigs in a blanket. No, those are one pigs in a blanket, Doc.

[A]

We're talking about hundreds now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like, this is crazy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

The big places where I have them are at sporting events, right? Because I know Madison Square Garden, as you experts will know.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

They have fancy foods now.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[C]

You can get, like, a filet of fish, sushi, weird stuff. So when I go to a sports game, I get a hot dog.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

That's how I am.

[C]

Not per se, healthy food.

[A]

But also, I'm at the game.

[B]

When in Rome.

[C]

Life is not healthy.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's right.

[C]

No one gets out alive. All the good sword tongue quotes you got.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

No one gets out alive.

[B]

No one gets out alive. It's true. Only two things in life are guaranteed death. Taxes.

[A]

Well, some people don't pay taxes. Dad. Looking at you.

[B]

Dad, are you there?

[A]

Answer.

[B]

Answer me, dad.

[A]

So, but when you're at a barbecue, there's hamburgers and hot dogs. What's the order there? Do you go one and one?

[C]

I try and pick. Like, I'll go either team hot dog or team cheeseburger.

[B]

Does it depend on who's making them?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

I don't discriminate. A hot dog's a hot dog. Oh, okay. I. I can't believe I'm saying this on camera. I've never had a bad hot dog.

[B]

Yo, me neither.

[A]

I mean, it's a hard one to mess up.

[B]

You can mess it up. You ever had a Colombian hot dog? Actually, you know what? I have had a bad house, now that I think about it. Why? Who made that, bro? My dad. When I was like, your dad made it?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, when I was, like, a teenager, my dad was like, oh, we're going to a Colombian burger joint. And I don't know if you've ever gone to, like, the Jackson Heights area of Queens. It's like little Columbia.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

And they gave me a hamburger, a cheeseburger, and a hot dog that had, like. I couldn't even tell you what was on it.

[A]

It was like, close your eyes, exhale,

[C]

feel your body relax, and let go

[A]

of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry

[C]

that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[A]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contact. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[C]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[B]

the discount they gave me on my first order.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[C]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts.

[B]

It was wetter than, like, if you had just taken it out from underwater.

[A]

The hot dog.

[B]

Yeah, and it was bad. I couldn't eat it. I got sick from it. It was that bad. I think there was, like, raw ham on there at one point.

[C]

That's a weird choice.

[B]

Which, like, I love.

[C]

But that's not the hot dog's fault then.

[B]

It's the.

[C]

It's the person ingredients.

[B]

It's the person who cooked it.

[C]

Additional accoutrement. Accoutrement.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

What's that? What's our. What's our next question before we keep going down the.

[C]

I have to say, the worst hot dog I ever had, now that I think about it, is in Russian culture. I came to America when I was six. My parents would make me a hot dog.

[B]

Cheap food.

[C]

Protein, it would be called. She would boil it.

[B]

Oh, but a boiled hot dog is

[A]

good as a. Oh, you gotta grill those.

[C]

It just wasn't great.

[A]

My dad would microwave them and put

[C]

it on, like, eggs. Like eggs.

[A]

Put it on egg and hot dogs.

[B]

Eggs and hot dogs.

[C]

That's what I would have as my immigrant meal.

[B]

That's what. That's what I used to have as a young. As a young lad, too.

[C]

What's your background?

[B]

My father's Colombian. My mom is Greek and Egyptian. Okay, so. But my mom did.

[C]

Which culture you think led that hot dog egg experiment?

[B]

The father, let's make that abundantly clear. My mom was, like, trying to, like, eat healthy and, like, had fruit and stuff in the house. Wow, chips.

[A]

You remember those chips? No.

[B]

You don't remember? Do you remember? Wow, chips.

[A]

Are those, like, healthy chips?

[B]

They were the ones. They were like healthy corn chips, but they were like. They had something in them that made people shit their pants. I don't know if my mom shit her pants, but my dad was the one that'd be like, you know, for breakfast, here's a fucking lollipop and eggs and hot dogs with which breakfast? Right there.

[C]

Good times. Well, based on the new food pyramid or upside down food pyramid. That's right. Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

My. My fiance has a master's in public health, so I've gotten the whole. The food pyramid is definitely a sore spot.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

She's like, in. In what way?

[A]

What sets her most well, she's like, just very. She's like, this is completely insane. Like, everything that they're doing, like, everything's upside down or whatever, but. Or like there should be, like, more veggies or something in there. I forget the exact.

[C]

Well, all those things are. Right. But the wildest thing is they're attacking the food pyramid that we haven't used in, like, 20 years.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Can you imagine if I go and I start fact checking from when they were plague doctors and being like, I can't believe doctors did this. Stupid. Yeah, well, yeah. They didn't know. They didn't have microscopes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And also that was another thing too. I feel like the food pyramid was just like something that was on the wall in lunchroom, but no one talked about it.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, we talked about it. It was 20 years ago. So we learned. We got better. And then they go, remember that thing they did? Yeah, 20 years ago. We don't do that anymore. We learned from it. We got better.

[A]

So what about the.

[B]

The plate? What's.

[C]

Yeah, the healthy plate.

[A]

The healthy plate.

[C]

Yeah. That was the replacement for the food pyramid. And it was a good plate.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Fruits, vegetables.

[A]

That's an easier way to kind of figure out, like, how you're supposed to eat.

[C]

But there were no hot dogs on this plate.

[A]

There was definitely not a hot dog.

[B]

Unfortunately, there were no hot dogs. I mean, can you imagine protein? I'm sure if you have enough of

[C]

that, I mean, it's ultra processed meat, and ultra processed meat, if you consume enough of it, it does raise your risk of certain conditions.

[B]

I just. I want to say you're throwing around the ultra process like it's a bad thing.

[A]

Oh, it is.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Well, for your colon.

[B]

Listen, man, my colon helped this in the past, my friend. That ship has sailed. That ship has sailed. Okay, what do we got next?

[D]

Ant, considering that you were so curious about these things, would you like to go to male nipples or piss? What would you like to do?

[B]

Can you stop this? Just give us a question.

[D]

Okay. Not me, Frankie.

[B]

No.

[D]

I often hold my pee to the point. My stomach hurts. Why does it make my stomach hurt?

[B]

Okay, that was.

[A]

You're using. I.

[B]

That's fair.

[A]

That is fair.

[C]

Why do you do that? Why do you hold It.

[A]

I'm on a long car ride or. Oh, I thought you were doing, like, a fun game.

[B]

I mean, sometimes I like to. I've said this before. Sometimes I like to, like, wait until, like, I have, like, I'm about to piss, to go pee, which I've been told is probably a bad thing to do.

[A]

I feel like you can feel that. You can feel that's bad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But.

[B]

But I don't.

[A]

What was even the question? I don't.

[D]

It's his. I don't know.

[B]

What was the question?

[C]

Why am I holding.

[B]

So if, like, if someone were to hold in, like, their piss, why does their stomach start to hurt?

[C]

Related nerves in the same area, but really it's lower abdominal suprapubic discomfort that you're having.

[A]

Super pubic.

[B]

Don't talk about my. Don't talk about my super. It is supra's crazy. Supra.

[C]

Supra. Above. Supra. Supra. You don't have a super pubic area.

[B]

Talking about my super pubes. You don't know about my pubes.

[A]

Super's nuts.

[B]

Let's go regular average pubic area. So it's just like discomfort in the area is going to affect everything.

[C]

Yeah. And the longer urine sits in the bladder, the more static it is, meaning it's not moving around. The more likely it is to develop a stone, the more likely to develop an infection. So you want to keep things moving.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Before we get to the rest of this episode, we do have some sponsors. The first one being cachava. Okay. Cachava. It provides clean nutrition to fuel wherever your day takes you. No filters, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners or anything. And I am a big fan of cachava. I've been drinking this for I couldn't tell you how long. And now they're showing up as a sponsor on the show. So it's amazing. But I love their chocolate. Just two scoops. Two scoops provide 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens, and so much more. And they come in great flavors. The chocolate is my favorite. It just tastes like a chocolate milkshake, basically. And there's vanilla, there's chai, there's matcha, there's coconut, acai, and strawberry. But they're great. And you can try it risk free. But they're a love it guarantee. But they have amazing reviews. I guarantee you guys are gonna love it. So. But yeah, they have energy. They have stuff to support energy. Stuff to support digestion. You can nourish your immune system with vitamin C, zinc, probiotics. There's a lot of good stuff in this. So definitely go check out Kachava. Stick with your wellness goals and go to kachava.com and use the code Basement for 15 off. That is spelled K A C-H-A-V A.com and the code is Basement. Okay, so go to cacava.com and use that code Basement. You will save 15 off. Give it a try. I would suggest doing the chocolate one. That's my favorite. So tell me that one's bad. And yeah, enjoy that. And we also have BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. And yeah, with better help, you can get help in just under 48 hours if you're looking to talk to a therapist. I've been in therapy myself for many years and I think that is very helpful for anybody across the board, not just for people that are going through something traumatic, but it's very helpful. Just, it's like going to the gym for your brain. That's what a lot of people describe it as. I would. I would agree. And yeah, so it's a lot of. It's. It's just. It helps a lot. So definitely go check out BetterHelp. It is helping a lot of people worldwide. And yeah, and you can go to betterhelp.com Basemanyard and you will save 10% off of your first month. That is betterhelp.com Basementyard to save 10% off of your 1st month. So go check that out. And yeah. Now back to the show.

[B]

I think there was another urine related question in there.

[C]

Oh, you're in trouble, man.

[B]

Yeah, I think. Well, I think if I remember, I'll

[A]

ask it

[C]

because this one is yours.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna be honest with you. Most of them are mine. Yeah, most of them are mine. But like, we've seen examples of people drinking urine. You have Bear Grylls.

[A]

He likes to drink it.

[C]

You know, I don't know why.

[A]

Out of necessity.

[C]

Yeah, it's not.

[B]

And apparently it's. He's got a lot.

[A]

Wait, it doesn't.

[C]

No.

[A]

It doesn't hydrate you at all?

[C]

No.

[B]

Well, that comes.

[C]

So he dehydrates you worse.

[B]

That completely ruins my question. Because it's all the toxins that you're getting out of your body that you're re ingesting.

[C]

No toxins.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank God. I mean, the general concept, right?

[A]

Nope.

[C]

It's waste, but not toxins.

[A]

So what is the argument? He's saying it does?

[C]

Yeah. And it just does it.

[A]

And you're saying it dehydrates you.

[C]

It's not dehydrates you. It does not hydrate you. It's not a. It's not a replacement for drinking water. And then there's people that think like it gives them some sort of nutrient that they're missing. They're like, oh, it has electrolytes. I'm like, so do food.

[B]

Yeah, so do.

[C]

If you really love electrolytes, take the supplement.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You don't need to drink the urine.

[B]

Look in the camera and tell Bear Grylls he's an idiot.

[C]

I did a whole reaction video to his thing, calling him out. So I feel bad and he does things that I can never do, so I can't call him an idiot.

[B]

Of course, dude probably like drink his

[C]

pit and him and my dog share the same name.

[A]

You want to hear something crazy? His name's not Bear. No way.

[B]

No duh. It's like Arnold, look up Bear girls name and my name, to be fair, if my name was Arnold, I'm changing it to Bear. I mean, if you're a guy that

[A]

goes out and like lives with bears, I think you can call yours.

[B]

I don't think he lives with bears.

[A]

Well, you know, he's like around him,

[C]

you know, he does wild stuff.

[B]

He does do crazy stuff. I can't sit here. We. I'm watching through alone. Have you ever seen that show?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

It's a good show.

[C]

I think we didn't. We react to that too, man. We do a lot of reactions. Naked and afraid, alone.

[B]

Naked and afraid is crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why. I don't know. I don't know how people do that. Because I would be afraid of being naked and then afraid of.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. The bugs.

[B]

Forget the bugs.

[C]

That's why people like. It's natural. Like bugs are natural. They'll eat your super pubic area.

[B]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you referencing my super pubic.

[D]

His name was Edward.

[A]

Edward.

[D]

I said was. I didn't mean that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he's a lot.

[C]

Well, he changed it.

[D]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

Well, did he legally?

[D]

Michael.

[B]

Edward.

[A]

Michael Grills.

[B]

Wait, is Guy Fieri's real name Guy?

[D]

I actually think so.

[A]

I think that is a real name.

[C]

That's cool.

[B]

Imagine it was Edward just getting a

[A]

baby and being like.

[C]

I mean, like I've delivered babies if I walked in.

[B]

You delivered babies?

[A]

Yeah. Dude, that's crazy.

[C]

And I bring the baby and I say what's the baby's name? They go, bear. I go, question.

[D]

Yeah, no.

[B]

You'd be like, this is pretty sick. What's the coolest baby name that you've helped?

[C]

I don't know. They're not cool.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

They're standard.

[C]

They're standard. Their names, you hear them, you forget them.

[A]

Frank, Mike, Joe.

[C]

And that's patient privacy. I can't tell you that.

[B]

I mean, you have to break Hippo right now. Yeah, this guy, he got me. Honestly.

[A]

Yeah, you're done.

[B]

You got me. I don't want to get.

[A]

So you've. You've delivered babies as well?

[C]

Yeah, I think I delivered 38 babies. Keep a log during residency.

[B]

Do you think have any of those babies, like, gotten old to the point where they're just like, you delivered me? I love.

[C]

Yeah. They're my patients, though. Family medicine. Baby is beautiful. That's right. Deliver the baby, take care of the baby, take care of the grandparents of the baby, everybody.

[A]

That is such an insane thing.

[C]

It's an amazing job.

[A]

That's such a crazy.

[B]

And they're just like, yo.

[C]

And one of the lowest paying specialties, which we should change.

[B]

Yeah. What the fuck? Doctors.

[C]

It's the doctors withholding it.

[B]

It's the hospital. That's right. It's the privately owned hospitals that are to blame.

[A]

Let's blame someone right now.

[B]

My question was going to be. And. And I guess you're not gonna be able to answer this because you've already debunked that the urine is good to drink. I was going to ask that

[C]

if

[B]

you were to lay.

[C]

Can I throw something in real quick?

[B]

Of course.

[C]

A famous celebrity the other day messaged me asking me if she should drink her own urine because her friend was doing it. Can I blow up her spot?

[A]

I. I would love to break HIPAA right now.

[B]

Well, no, it wasn't. If it was.

[C]

It wasn't an official patient consultation.

[B]

I love that. I mean, I don't want you to call them out, but an exclusive.

[C]

First time saying this on air. Mariah Carey, Kristen Bell. I can't believe. Oh, you really consider drinking urine?

[A]

That is insane. Can't drink. Can't drink. You said no.

[C]

I said no. I did it respectfully, of course. But then it turned out one of her castmates on her show was actually tricking her into thinking she was drinking urine by creating drinks that look like urine. So much so that she reach out to me.

[A]

That's a great prank.

[B]

That's a really good prank. That was gonna try Ye.

[C]

Yeah, very Close.

[A]

Well, it got her so much that she's like, let me.

[C]

Let me ask this doctor.

[B]

I know on social media that is. Honestly, that's. That's a level of pranking that, like, it just gets into their psyche and they're just like, I kind of need to do their leg.

[C]

Well, it puts life into perspective for me because she could reach out at her disposal, Ivy League physicians, all these people that run departments. And she goes, no, let me ask the YouTube, dude.

[B]

That's nice.

[C]

So, like, that's where I fall in.

[B]

You're probably more trusted than most, like, medical professionals.

[C]

I would hope so.

[A]

You have the most. I mean, I don't know, but I feel like the access that you have through social media is, like, that's what makes that true, I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People are like, I'm gonna.

[C]

Well, I also aim to be as transparent as possible so people know why I'm recommending things.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

As opposed to just being like, the doctor you had. That was like, screw you. Sorry.

[B]

Screw you. That was me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was getting screwed by the doctor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, that's breaking hippo for sure.

[A]

Can't have that.

[C]

Now I know where the infection came from,

[A]

but also, I just want to, like. Just give you, like, the, like. You still work in a hospital?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Half the week is hospital life, which is training residents, so when they see patients, they need to present the patient to me if they need help with the procedure. It's complicated. I'll go in with them. And then I also see my own patients.

[B]

Any of your patients ever been, like, wait a second.

[C]

All the time.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It happens now more than ever. Because YouTube is so prevalent.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But it's only been a positive, largely.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I went to the hospital once, and it was that same hospital visit, and they said, like, listen, we need to treat you for possible sepsis. We need you to undress. And I was.

[C]

This is mult. You've been septic multiple times, my guy. What are you doing?

[B]

That's why I'm talking. Hot dogs don't mean a thing to me. Multiple times.

[C]

Are you immunocompromised? Oh, yeah,

[B]

I got it all. No, I don't.

[A]

He's going for the record.

[B]

But, like, they said, like, we need to. You need to, like, get in the. In the gown, the robe. And I was in such bad situation that they were like, do you want help?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Getting undressed. And I was like, sure. And they got me in the robe, and the guy goes, by the way, huge fan. And Then he walked out the room. I was like, yo, this guy just saw my infected wiener, like, body. Don't do that. No wieners. Not infected.

[A]

That's. I mean, you were leading us right there.

[B]

I mean, I feel like me as an infected individual. That's what I meant to say.

[C]

And people say fan at weird times. I've gotten complimented before on my content at the urinal.

[B]

I mean, that's crazy. I was going to say of anything that's normal or a guy being like, like, your stuff. I like your work. Ton of followers, huh?

[A]

A doctor saw my penis recently. So I was. But that didn't happen to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he wasn't like, saw my penis, Was like, big fan. Because that would have mortified me. I'd be like, all right. Yeah. Well, pre penis conversation.

[C]

Feel free to pass.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What was the feedback?

[B]

Bad penis. He said bad penis. No, he looked at me like.

[A]

He went.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And then he just. No, I went to the dermatologist and he just got like a quick, like a. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he said everything was all good.

[C]

Good.

[B]

But I don't know if he was talking about sick.

[C]

Was he saying about the news cycle or.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Everything's all good out there in here, though.

[A]

Kind of rough. Yeah. I don't know how it was.

[D]

How.

[A]

You know, it also wasn't my best. It wasn't a good time. I wasn't expecting it to happen.

[B]

Bad dick day is what, you know,

[A]

it's a doctor's office. It's cold. The lights, you know, the lights. I don't know how that.

[C]

Whatever you need to say.

[B]

Yeah, I'm glad someone is calling him out.

[C]

I'm saying whatever.

[B]

I appreciate because normally it's just me having to call him out on his nonsense.

[C]

I try not to use words like good or bad. I try and describe what I'm looking at.

[B]

Great. Awesome.

[C]

No, those are also not great.

[A]

Shitty.

[C]

Everything looks normal.

[A]

Everything looks normal.

[B]

But isn't there? Isn't normal subjective?

[C]

It's actually objective.

[B]

Oh, in the medical sense.

[C]

Well, that's what I'm here for.

[A]

Grammar.

[C]

So we have the subjective portion of the exam, which is you tell me everything that's going on.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So you telling me it's normal is subjective? Me looking at it and writing that it's normal. That's.

[A]

That's objective. Yes. Don't cut them off.

[B]

I don't know what's going on. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. Out of here, dude. No, but I. I get what you're saying. Like, normal in the sense of like, what the body should be doing in this situation is normal.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Don't shirt me.

[C]

Two thumbs up.

[B]

You got it.

[A]

Frank.

[C]

You.

[A]

You walked us there. What else we got over there?

[D]

I just want to make a note here that the Bear Grylls drinking like Frankie, curious about drinking his own pee is not on here on the official list.

[B]

Yeah, no, I did send that over. It must have been. Oh, then maybe I deleted that question when I got scrapped. Because what I was gonna ask is if you. If it's sterile and you can drink it in theory, can you age it like wine and it would be tastier.

[A]

Oh, that sounds so horrific.

[B]

I wouldn't do it. I'm just asking.

[C]

I would put that beneath raw milk. Milk aged urine.

[B]

Oh, that's a good question. So are you more likely to drink raw milk or. Or 10 day old piss?

[C]

I want pass.

[B]

Did you ever think you'd be sitting in this room right here answering these questions when you went through medical school?

[A]

We're gonna get a long email of cuts later.

[C]

Hey, guys, remember that hypoth.

[A]

The, the raw milk thing I think is so interesting. Why do you think they're almost allowed to sell it?

[C]

I guess they're not in some places, but then they say it's for animal consumption and not for humans and they bypass the rules much in the way that they sell peptides these days. I'm sure you guys have heard of peptides. Yeah, of course they're not really allowed to sell peptides, but they sell them for research purposes only.

[A]

So it's just these loopholes.

[C]

It's a loophole, I think.

[B]

Isn't like women's breast milk the same way? Like what?

[A]

I'm cutting that out of the episode and just replaying it a thousand times.

[B]

I heard that. It's like, legally you can't sell women's breast milk, but like, there's a market for them. Tough day of work for doctor. There's a market, man. There's a market for them.

[C]

I sat surrounded by 20 anti vaxxers and it wasn't as tough as this conversation.

[B]

It's getting hot. Look at you. You dress bdsm, you're wearing three dresses. Take your leather skirt off your neck. I think you'll cool off.

[C]

These are the deleted scenes from the Kid Rock RFK video.

[B]

Oh my God. We just talked about that. That was crazy. First of all, cold plunge and jeans. Come on.

[A]

Yeah, that is. That is something. Something going on with his legs.

[B]

Like you.

[A]

Your scarred up legs or something.

[B]

My Legs. I do. My legs are most. Mostly scars. The sepsis. No, no, no, no.

[D]

That was.

[B]

I was elsewhere, baby.

[D]

No, no, no.

[B]

I. I one time on an episode said that, like, I had to get my leg, like, shaved or. Or something, and I saw, like, I was like, oh, my God, I have so many scars on my leg.

[C]

From what?

[A]

Just like.

[B]

Like hitting it against, you know, like sports. Hitting it against something and, like, it just heals.

[C]

You did like a kickboxing thing?

[B]

I never did kickboxing.

[A]

This is not even true. So I don't even know.

[C]

Yeah. What sport? Soccer.

[B]

I played football. I played baseball.

[C]

You keep saying sports that don't require hitting your legs, so I'm curious.

[B]

Football. Because he said it when he was younger.

[C]

Were you a kicker? Football?

[B]

No, but, like, when you get, like, turf burn that can leave so scarring. When you, like when you people are like.

[A]

Your legs aren't mostly scars.

[B]

What are you justifying? I am referencing. I one time had my. My knee got cut open by an axe. That happened.

[A]

That.

[B]

That left scars. I got new surgery. No, that was another one. Yeah. I don't like how this episode is being targeted at me.

[A]

I just gotta say, you're pulling the reins here, buddy. You got any other questions that feel like they're not from Frank? I know that answer is no, but

[D]

feel like they're not from Frank. Yeah, sure. It is a. What is more useless, an appendix or male nipples? And if you suck male nipples long enough, will they lactate?

[B]

Okay, I did write the first half of the question. I don't know where that second half came from.

[C]

Me neither.

[A]

Yeah,

[D]

well, we were on breast milk. We were on breast milk.

[C]

The appendix.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

I'm glad that's where you went first.

[B]

No, no. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm trying to save this episode.

[C]

You're warming me up to it.

[B]

Well, get to the other stuff first. You gotta foreplay the nipples a little bit.

[A]

The appendix, though, we can pull that right out. The gallbladder, I think there's another one you could just pull out. We're good.

[C]

Yeah, they have utility, but they. You can live without. You can live with one kidney, right? But you prefer to have two. It's nice to have a backup.

[A]

But an appendix.

[C]

An appendix?

[B]

What does it actually do?

[C]

Yeah, it functions as part of your immune system when you're young. It also is a home for the microbiome, some of the bacteria that naturally colonize your intestine. So it does have some uses, but you can't live without it.

[B]

So, like, at A certain point, you said when you were young. So at a certain point does it kind of like stop pulling its way?

[C]

It's not a life sustaining organ.

[A]

Retired.

[C]

Can't live without. I guess you could live without both kidneys because you get dialysis. Can't live without a full liver. Can't live without a full heart. Can't live without a brain. I'm curious. You have to answer when I count to three.

[D]

Oh, man.

[C]

Most important organ in the body that you believe. One, two, three.

[B]

Skin or brain?

[C]

I was thinking one of you would say heart, one of you would say brain. I would say that's beautiful. But you went skin.

[B]

Well, you can't. What's the biggest organ that question? No, no, I mean like everything is held together by your skin.

[A]

That's fair.

[C]

It's probably held together by your fascia. But. Oh, fascia, yeah, the, the, the organ that is least talked about.

[A]

What is.

[C]

It's everywhere. It holds you together. Like if you've ever done a dissection in anatomy lab, you'll see that there's a lot of weird connective tissue. Like what is that?

[B]

That's fascia of the plantar variety.

[C]

Of the full body variety.

[A]

Plantar fascia, fasciitis.

[B]

My actual answer was brain. I forget that I said skin.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. So why brain controls everything? Why heart?

[A]

I mean, if it stops, we're done.

[B]

But you can live with an artificial heart. Can't live with an artificial brain.

[A]

What's it.

[C]

How long can you live with artificial heart?

[A]

What is an artificial heart?

[D]

This is. This is you.

[B]

I'm not helping this stuff. You're in the hot seat. I don't know.

[C]

Not a full life, sadly.

[B]

But you.

[C]

We're getting there longer.

[B]

Longer than you can with it without an artificial. Like you can't live in an artificial brain for a second.

[C]

Well, if you give someone now, you can't.

[B]

So I'm right. Yeah.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

Brain. I'm on a roll.

[C]

I think brain is more important. You could have brain death and still have heart and lung function by having a ventilator keep you alive. However, if you lose a full brain, you lose the ability to even have the heart pump.

[B]

So I always remember the story, like learning about it in Psychology of like Phineas Gage.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I thought that was like, crazy because you hear about like any sort of like trauma to the brain. You think like as a kid, it's just like, oh, it's instant. And this guy got a fucking like whole rod through. Continued to live.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you do you think there's any part of the body organ or just whatever part that eventually will be born without, like, we're just not using.

[B]

Oh, man. See, this is a great question.

[C]

I'm not smart enough to answer that question.

[A]

Fair enough.

[D]

We got him with one.

[B]

We got him with one. I wrote that one. He's just not going to say something that he doesn't know for sure.

[D]

No, of course.

[B]

Well, this is why. This is why you're trusted, is because in that situation, it's gonna happen with

[C]

our mouths, because our mouths are getting smaller.

[A]

Is that true?

[C]

Well, that's why all everyone's molars are impacted.

[B]

Now, what about, like, my.

[C]

But I'm not a dentist, so I'm speaking outside of.

[B]

What about my pinky toe?

[C]

What about it? That's a good balance point.

[B]

Oh, your pinky toe, though.

[C]

Pinky and big toe.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, mine is, like, sideways.

[C]

You ever saw Heartbreak Kid?

[B]

I did see Heartbreak Kid.

[C]

Remember he was telling her the lie about hanging out with a guy. Golf. And he only had the outer toes.

[B]

I don't remember that.

[C]

Well, I like movies.

[A]

He only had the outside.

[C]

Yeah, he's like. It allowed him to maintain the swing. Can we play the clip so I don't look like a. No, it's fine.

[B]

No, finally. You look like an idiot for once.

[C]

It's a good movie. Underrated.

[B]

First movie I ever got kicked out of.

[A]

What?

[B]

No Heartbreak Kid. I tried to go watch Heartbreak Kid with my, like, high school girlfriend, and they were like, you're not watching this. And they kicked me out because I was 13.

[C]

Oh, so you tried to sneak in?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You ever sneak in a movie?

[B]

You ever break the law, doc?

[C]

Did I ever sneak in?

[B]

Would you consider yourself a bad boy criminal?

[C]

I've definitely been over the speed limit by a couple of miles an hour.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I gotta admit to that.

[A]

I've seen the cars.

[B]

Yeah, I would do. To be honest.

[C]

Did I ever sneak into a movie theater? I feel like I must have overstayed and watched two movies. Yeah, that's a good one of those things. Fifth grade or something. I don't think I even hit. It was just like, middle of the day and they're like, no one's here. We don't care.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

I'm gonna ask you a series of questions.

[A]

That's what a podcast is. Go ahead.

[B]

These are two different answers. What's your favorite movie of all time? And what's the best movie of all time?

[C]

My favorite movie of all time is not one. People Love.

[B]

That's okay. Mine too.

[C]

Man on Fire.

[B]

That's a good movie.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

That's good.

[C]

I think it's so underrated. Denzel.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Dakota Fanning. A lot of celebrity appearances. Marc Anthony. Music is phenomenal. Story's great.

[B]

I need to watch Scott directing.

[C]

I mean, it was good stuff.

[A]

What was your answer?

[B]

The Mask.

[C]

You know that I'm not a Jim Carrey fan.

[B]

Oh, why? What happened?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I just. You said that with, like, hate in your heart.

[C]

No, no. When I came to America, like, he was really popular, and I was just like, ah, it was okay.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Like, what is Almighty? Was okay. Liar Liar was kind of cool.

[A]

He loves the mask. And I watched it in within the last two years, and it sucks.

[B]

It doesn't. It is so good.

[A]

It doesn't.

[B]

It is so good. All right, now, but what if you were in like, a, you know, like, barroom conversation with your buddies? What do you think would you argue is the best movie of all time?

[C]

It's so hard to pick one. I have a list, but I really. I find myself coming back to Good Will Hunting a lot.

[A]

Really? Watch that recently again. So good.

[C]

Like Shawshank good. That level Goodfellas I've rewatched a million times.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm, like, almost sick of it now.

[C]

Yeah. But you know what's sick? If it's still on, I still.

[B]

Like, hell yeah.

[C]

The hoof.

[D]

The hoof.

[C]

You cut the hoof.

[B]

What about. I remember I. I had knee surgery and I remember waking up and it was like a party in there with, like, music and like, that.

[C]

You woke up during your surgery?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was.

[C]

Did you leave a bad Yelp review for that one?

[B]

Yeah, the attacks on me today, I'm just gonna throw this out there are out of control. No, no, no, no.

[C]

I mean, I would. If I wake up missing surgery, I'm writing a negative review.

[B]

Yes, it was so. It was high school sports. My knee was destroyed, and they said, like, hey, you can wake up during the surgery if you want. We'll give you an epidural.

[A]

They offered that?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And I was like. It was paid for by the fricking, like, public school system. So I was just like, it. Yeah, okay, whatever.

[C]

So you woke up and I controlled. Pain free.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I woke up and there was, like, Coldplay was going. And people were like, yeah, surgeon's jam. What's your jam music?

[C]

I don't.

[B]

I know you're not a Surgeon. I know you're not a surgeon. I'm saying, like, what is your jam?

[C]

White noise. We play white noise so the other patients in the other rooms can't hear the conversation.

[B]

Asking you what your jam music is, dog.

[C]

I don't know, like, top 50 stuff. Nothing. Nothing special. Eminem. I just listened to Kill Shot this morning. I don't know why.

[A]

That.

[C]

What? It hit my tick tock feed.

[A]

Kill Shot?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That is crazy.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

No, it's just like, it wasn't that long ago. It was like five years ago. Was it making it sound like Hillshot came out in the 70s?

[B]

And I'm like, no, I just love. He loves.

[C]

First of all, if I said Beatles, you'd give me props, but I Kill Shot. You go that long ago? Well, no, not.

[B]

Not the length. It was the. The song.

[A]

It just feels random. It's not like a top 50 song like that. Like, he loves, like, Pitbull or Flow Rider.

[B]

He does.

[D]

My dad likes Pitbull.

[A]

Your dad likes Pitbull?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

We're learning about this guy in real time.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, it sucks for your dad. It happens. Joey loves to point out people's lack of, you know, current music.

[C]

Well, who do you guys like?

[B]

No, so he's always gonna listen to, like, he'll be like, at the certain. Kendrick.

[C]

Drake. Who. Which team are you on? One, two, three. One, two, three.

[B]

I was. One, two, three. One thousand two, three. I don't know enough about it. I will say, though, that, like, of the music I've heard, I like more Kendrick Lamar stuff than I do Drake stuff.

[C]

Who's hotter, Matt Damon or Brad? Pit. One, two, three.

[B]

Matt Damon.

[C]

What are we talking about? Hotter?

[A]

I mean, you like Matt Damon over him?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I think Matt Damon, Brad Pitt. There's some stuff I just watched a.

[A]

He's hot. What are we going to do? I mean, that's. I'm not excusing.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

I don't even know what you're talking about.

[C]

You know what's funny? You guys didn't even catch that I referenced Heartbreak Kid again.

[B]

Why do you. I haven't seen it. Do you think we're gonna remember Heartbreak Kid that well? I remember, like, three scenes. This whole episode is Heartbreak Kid and sepsis over here. I brought it up once.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

What else we got on the docket?

[D]

I have a question. With the craze of, you know, like, all these medical shows, like, which one would you say is the most accurate?

[C]

The Pit.

[A]

All day.

[C]

The Pit is so good. 10 out of 10. I heard it's just limited notes. I have one note. I wish they did chest compressions a little better.

[A]

How are you supposed to do a proper chest compression?

[C]

Push hard and fast. Center of the chest 2 inches deep, about a hundred beats per minute. Staying alive.

[B]

He knows two inches deep.

[C]

Well, that means he does great cpr. You're a nation of lifesavers.

[A]

At first, I was afraid.

[B]

I was petrified. That's the office.

[C]

I've reacted to that one, too.

[B]

That's such a good.

[A]

Such a good clip. Is it true that, like, with chest compressions, there could be, like, injuries with that?

[C]

Yeah, but the person's dead if you don't do it. No, no, they're dead.

[A]

Oh, that's when they get.

[C]

You're doing chest compressions because the heart has stopped, so they're dead.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And you're squeezing the heart by pushing the chest two inches deep, which you were very accustomed to doing.

[B]

Get him.

[C]

And this is crazy that you dumped him. You said it.

[B]

He said it.

[C]

You tapped him up.

[B]

Yeah, he did not because of the truth. Because of the joke. The DAP is the ultimate, like, sign of. Yes. It's too.

[C]

You coign him right now. I forgot where I was going with this.

[B]

But the heart has already stopped.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the heart is stopped. So you're squeezing the heart to circulate the blood that still has some residual oxygen in it, and you're trying to buy time for EMTs to arrive.

[B]

Aren't there stories, though, of people doing chest compressions and, like, cracking ribs?

[C]

Again, if you're doing that in order to keep that person's brain alive, that's worth it. You trade a rib for a brain. You said brain's the most important.

[B]

Damn right.

[A]

Yeah. I would make that trade. My dad.

[C]

All right, Meryl Manson. Relax.

[B]

He trained two. He trained two.

[A]

My dad was a fireman, and I think he was like EMS for a bit, but there was one time he was on a. A tennis court, and a guy, like, had a heart attack or something, and he was doing, like, either chest compressions

[C]

while the person's alive, like, talking.

[A]

No, no. They, like, went down, and they were like, I forget the story. But he had to give him cpr, and he's like. And I was giving this guy cpr, and then he just threw up in his mouth.

[C]

That's aggressive. That's right.

[B]

That's a bad one.

[A]

I don't know what has to happen for that.

[C]

Well, it just. You set it up saying he had a heart attack. Heart attack does not Require cpr.

[A]

Yeah. So my dad could have just lined

[B]

up as a character.

[C]

Cardiac arrest.

[B]

We got a lot of daddy issues on this side of the. The set. I don't know. He stubbed his toe. My dad's giving him cpr.

[C]

Well, I've seen videos on social media. Someone's, like, a little bit out of it, and they're giving them cpr. I'm like, no, no, no. If they're out of it, that means their heart is still beating because they're moving.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So you don't want to squeeze their chest when their heart's beating.

[B]

What?

[A]

I also, like. I don't know if this is true, but I, like, saw something online that now with, like, cpr, like, the brain breathing into the mouth is not a thing.

[C]

Yeah. So people used to not do CPR for people because they were worried, oh, I have to do mouth to mouth. So we said, forget mouth to mouth. The most important thing is pushing hard, fast in the center of the chest after you call for help. And that means either you're calling for help or you're saying you pink neon pink scrubs, you call 911 and you have to say yes. And then I start the chest compression.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

What was.

[C]

We do the rescue breaths in situations when a person has been down for a long period of time. So if someone drowned, for example, and you find them, odds are they don't have residual oxygen in their blood. So you need to give them rescue breaths and then start pushing hard and fast. But if someone just collapsed, they still have oxygen in their blood vessels. So you can start pushing. Right.

[B]

One more time. Do that one more time.

[C]

Oh, and this isn't even good form. Sorry. This is good form.

[A]

You gotta get on top.

[C]

All right. Yeah. You gotta lock out elbows.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right.

[C]

So this isn't a tricep extension.

[A]

So lock them out.

[C]

Lock them out. Because you want to use your body weight over them.

[B]

So lock them out like this.

[C]

That's hyper.

[A]

So, like, can you do that again?

[C]

That's a pretty. That's a hyper extended.

[A]

Yeah. What's going on?

[B]

I have many skills you don't know about.

[C]

Put your thumb to your.

[B]

My wife can, but I get pretty close.

[A]

I'll be careful.

[C]

All right, good. You're good.

[B]

I get pretty close.

[C]

We're just checking.

[A]

Why is that a bad thing?

[C]

Well, it could predispose you to having a condition.

[B]

And with him, you know, I got it.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm a hypochondriac. It's gonna be a long drive home for me. Oh, Dr. Mike said I have a condition, babe. He referenced my sepsis a bunch of times. What else we got?

[C]

How many times have you had sepsis?

[B]

Just to clear that I've never been septic. Let me make that abundantly clear. I have been treated for. I'm getting pretty close.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

Okay, we'll talk off air.

[A]

Have you ever been septic?

[D]

What are the requirements?

[C]

Basically there's CSRS criteria plus an infection source.

[D]

Oh, so that's. Yeah, you. Many times then who the fuck are you?

[C]

We can pop up the sirs criteria.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Speaking of all Frankie's trips to the sepsis hospital here. Frankie, you're mentioning that hospitals have the same smell, you're saying?

[B]

Yes, all hospitals I've been to smell exactly the same. And all casinos I've been to smell exactly the same.

[C]

Are you sure it's just you're not smelling yourself? Because it seems like everywhere you go, it smells the same.

[B]

Let me finish the question.

[A]

That's a great.

[B]

That's probably it. I need to ask.

[C]

Every time I go here, it smells the same.

[B]

Well, no, my question was going to be, seriously, do hospitals, like my casinos, put like stuff through the vents in order to like. So it's like, oh, how like the

[C]

fancy hotels have their own unique sense.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Do hospitals have like a specific air filtration system that like makes it so it smells a certain way?

[C]

We do have HEPA filters because for infection control purposes, we keep it low humidity. Specifically because it decreases infection. We don't pump scent, though. That's not a thing.

[D]

Would you say like essentially smelling super clean air clean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or I guess it's like a little, like a rubbery.

[B]

There's a little rub.

[C]

Yeah. It smells like a lot of equipment.

[B]

It smells like the gloves.

[A]

Yeah. What's with the paper? Why the paper?

[B]

Paper is horrible. On the. On the table, the sheet disposable.

[A]

But like, can we.

[B]

It's just because.

[C]

Do you want to sit in someone else's butt? Goop.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

Goop.

[B]

Goop. What goes on at your doctor's office? You probably said. I'm not. I have no goop.

[C]

Whatever.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

But like I'm saying, let's upgrade this paper.

[C]

To what?

[A]

To a comfort. More UV light.

[C]

What? What about it? Are you just saying words now?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Whole milk. A whole milk bath that you can sit in that's been homogenized.

[A]

The. Nevermind. I know the answer to that question. I was gonna say there's like a Little box.

[B]

So basically what I'm smelling is. What I'm smelling is just a combination of, like, cleaner air.

[C]

Yeah, you're smelling a lot of disinfectants as well. We're cleaning things a lot.

[A]

Yeah. Do they.

[B]

Oh, that's definitely what it is. Do they have. Have any hospitals or doctors offices come up with, like, disinfecting, like, grenades? So, like, they can just close the door to it off like a room and they throw something in and then it goes off. And like, Frank guess just. I mean, this might be a good business idea. All right. If you're looking to invest clean grenades, but, like, nade your apartment.

[C]

He definitely before this saw a TikTok video where someone did that transition where they throw the grenade and the room got clean. He goes, I want that grenade.

[B]

Well, like, if I were to take two Lysol cans and just stab them with knives and then throw them into

[C]

a room, you'd go to jail.

[B]

I'm not saying, like, where there are patients. I'm saying, like, you know, like that room over there and I close it off. Would it do a good job cleaning that room?

[C]

I can't answer that question. I have never ran that experiment.

[A]

So I have a question. So you know how restaurants have people show up from the health department and they, like, check to make sure everyone's doing the thing? Does that happen in hospital?

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

How often?

[C]

Very often. And they do surprise visits. Good old Jayco.

[B]

I say good.

[C]

What's stands for something? It's an acronym.

[A]

So they show up and they, like,

[C]

make sure that everything's like, insane. Verification of processes. Like, where do you keep your sharps? How do you dispose of them? How often are they coming? Are you getting your expiration dates generally restocked? Like, everything is checked. Oh, you have a water bottle nursing station that's unopened. Why? Yeah, so they're really strict. People freak out.

[B]

And who sets those standards?

[C]

This hospital accreditation system.

[A]

And they.

[C]

And it's based on if the. If the hospital takes money from the federal government because then they have to follow the federal government's rules or hospital mandates do have.

[A]

Is it, like, typical for a hospital to like, get shut down or something like that?

[C]

Typical. No, but they definitely have to do make goods. And then they come back and check and make sure that.

[B]

So they'll give them like, this needs to be rectified in a week and then we'll be back.

[A]

I've like, worked in a pizzeria before. When the health department shows up.

[B]

Pizzeria, hospital.

[C]

Wait, wait,

[A]

so when. But that day, when they. If they get a heads up, like a half an hour, like, they're gonna be in a half an hour. That's like, all of a sudden we got to start wearing, like, gloves and hair nets or whatever, which you typically don't do.

[C]

They surprise us.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's like random drug testing for athletes, right?

[A]

They just knock on your door.

[C]

They just knock on your door. I mean, and then everyone freaks out. Jay goes, here, get the food out of here.

[B]

Yeah, well, that. That used to happen, too, when I worked at Target. Like, they like food. Like, specific food inspectors would come, because a lot of the targets had, like, Pizza Hut or Starbucks in it. And, like, they would just walk in the door and be like, we're going to check.

[C]

And I'm sure they send also surprise inspectors to some places, right? I don't know. For hospitals.

[A]

Oh, just like.

[C]

Just like, as a regular consumer.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I'd be. That would be better.

[B]

I'd be so good.

[A]

Who gets in trouble for that?

[C]

I don't know, but they should be.

[B]

Not you, though.

[C]

Not me. That's right. I can't get in trouble for that.

[B]

Damn right.

[C]

But they do make coatings for equipment in the hospital that are antibacterial coatings.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Like.

[C]

Like, the keyboards and the mice are.

[B]

So you can't get, like, a gaming mouse and bring it into the.

[C]

I mean, you could do whatever you want, but.

[B]

But you're gonna get in trouble.

[C]

Me, probably. But it's cool that they have those coatings. There's some coatings that, like, bacteria don't like living on that they call them bacteriostatic, that the bacteria can't multiply on them.

[A]

What is the reason why we don't use that?

[C]

More expensive. Doesn't work with some materials. Etc.

[B]

I feel smarter already.

[A]

I feel like I. I feel like I learned something, and then it's completely negated by the next conversation.

[B]

I can't remember anything. I just know that Frank's got, like, diarrhea or something. Stop.

[A]

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[D]

What else we got do you want to go back to? Forget the good conversation or more good conversation.

[B]

Just, you know, you follow your heart.

[D]

I think I like this one. What's something most people do every day that will have a negative effect on them in the future that maybe they don't know?

[B]

Can I guess?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

This is great. It's like I get to fact check.

[B]

Live creamer in their coffee. I hear that a lot of people do it thinking that there's nothing to it, but it carries.

[C]

You think that's the worst habit?

[B]

I think it's a bad one. I didn't say worse.

[C]

That's what the question is.

[B]

No, the question was, what's a bad thing?

[A]

It could be anything, though.

[D]

I'm gonna. I'm not gonna reread the question.

[B]

Yeah. But I'm gonna agree with him. Go ahead.

[C]

It's probably something to do with sleep. The fact that we don't respect sleep.

[A]

That eight hours is like seven to nine.

[C]

Yeah. Is a good number. Tame for as an adult. Children's. Different older people. Different older people don't eat as much. Really, after 65. Yeah.

[A]

Is that why they're always.

[B]

Because they're. Because they're sleeping for like an hour and a half in the middle of the day.

[A]

That's why. No. I just went to. I just took a flight home at 6am So I could beat the storm that we just had. And I was like, everyone in here is old. Like they're up at this time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It was like a very early flight. I'm like, I would never. Like, there was no one really there that was like around my age. Like everyone is like 65.

[C]

I mean, when you don't sleep well, your body has to counteract this fatigue that you're feeling. So you go into fight or flight mode mode. And when you're in this fight or flight mode, you're not healing well, you're not digesting well, you're not repairing well. And as a result, your blood pressure is higher. Your hormone shifts are generally unhealthy for that day. Your food choices are not healthy, you're putting on weight. So it's like impacting your mental health, your physical health all around. So sleep. We need to make love to our

[A]

sleep and how do you. If someone has trouble sleeping, how would you suggest that. That they sleep better?

[C]

It takes a visit with someone like me who will try and figure out what's the issue. Because some people have trouble falling asleep, which is one issue. Then you could have people who can't stay asleep. They'll wake up at 2am and can't go back to sleep. Those are two different issues and have different treatments for both. In general, what I'm seeing people struggle with the most is their sleep hygiene, their ability to do good things to help them fall asleep. Well, so. So exposing themselves to early morning light, making sure their bedroom is really dark.

[D]

Cool.

[C]

There's things like not looking at your phone right before bed and exposing yourself to blue light can hurt your ability to fall asleep. So there's all of these things that need to be taken into account that most people brush off and go, just give me a pill. And the pill is not a solution.

[A]

Is the magnesium things like a overstated.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So it's not really like a huge.

[C]

Yeah, no, I wish it was. How easy would that make my life? Here's your thing. And melatonin is tricky because melatonin is good. Where I use it the most probably is for jet lag, resetting someone's circadian cycle. So let's say you were in one time zone and now you're coming back to this one and you want to reset. Taking melatonin now or before bedtime could be totally reasonable to reset. But people are taking it every single day.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So they're becoming reliant on it, which is not good. And second, they're also taking huge doses. There's people taking like 10 milligrams, 20 milligrams, where you're really supposed to use like 1, 2, maybe 3. And people are going way too far on it.

[A]

I've done a five. I think one time.

[C]

Again, one time is.

[B]

Yeah, it's like a hot dog.

[C]

You know what I'm saying? It's not fourth of July.

[B]

You want to rip a bunch of melatonin, be my guest.

[C]

Not medical advice that I share.

[B]

Hold on. This is what he does.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

That's a great idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A line of hot dogs that have trace amounts of melatonin in them. So you can have a pre bed dog.

[D]

Why someone looking at me?

[B]

You want to eat a hot dog?

[C]

I was hoping you have like a silence. But yeah, I do hear it.

[B]

And we'll call it Sleepy Dogs. Oh, that was the kicker.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Now it's a Good idea. I mean in theory you can just put melatonin in anything.

[C]

I don't think that's true.

[A]

I think it's regulated in theory like

[B]

that that like saves you

[A]

also eating a hot dog before bed.

[B]

Wild move. I don't do that. Let's make that abundantly.

[A]

You're not supposed to eat how many hours before bed.

[C]

That's not a rule. Ideally, if you're struggling with reflux, maybe don't eat two hours before bedtime.

[B]

But what do you like? So the blue light one is an actual question because like I. We like recently saw something that. This is like this new thing where it's called like blue eye glasses. No, no, not just blue light glasses, but like it's like sleep revenge or something. And it's like people are like trying to like stay up later because during the day they don't get enough time. Like I have young kids, so like me and my wife, we try to stay up as. Not as late as we can, but a little later because that's the only alone time that we get. Yeah. During the day. So I'll stay up a little later and she'll go to sleep and I'll like, you know, scroll like the news or something on my phone. I do. I mean, when I say the news, it's looking at comic books. Yeah, it's news. On the new Disney plus Power Rangers

[C]

show, when he said me and my wife have some time together, I was like, oh, that's so romantic. I mean we do, we're like, no, no, we got the hell away from each other.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll like watch something together. We'll, we'll talk, whatever. But I'm saying like she'll go to sleep before me and then I'll scroll down the news.

[A]

Yeah. Yes, the news.

[B]

The news. How long before bed do you think is like blue light a bad thing?

[C]

I would get rid of it an hour before.

[B]

An hour. Okay.

[C]

And that's like conservative because you want to a limit the blue light exposure because that's play some role because you can shift some settings in your phone to decrease blue light anyway. But the more important thing is when you're looking at the news because you're clearly a consumer. Power Rangers watches, you're looking at your friends, what they're up to, what your ex partners are up to on social media, that is not contributing to a good night's sleep. That's making you more anxious.

[B]

People that like, I really like. And it really is like I stay off social media. Because I don't, I don't like, I try to stay away from social media as much as I can.

[C]

How do you get your news? When you, when you scroll through the

[B]

news where it's not really news. It's. It's like, entertainment stuff.

[C]

What website or what?

[B]

It depends. So, like, I open Google Chrome, and at the bottom, it'll have, like, a series of suggested things. Like, here are the top Pokemon cards of this new release. Like, here's, like, the news, you know,

[C]

we're about to go to war. You're talking about Pokemon card release. Never mind. Stay on the phone. It sounds like you have the perfect sleep routine. They're going to get rid of Bulbasaurus.

[B]

Bulbasaur. Don't ever disrespect the number one Pokemon.

[D]

Oh, do people scroll on Google Chrome?

[B]

Is that a thing I do? Look, I'll show you what I do. I'll show you exactly what I do.

[A]

Don't make it worse.

[B]

Look, I open Google.

[C]

Tell me the first news story. Yeah. Read it out loud.

[B]

Discover mlb. The show. The video game.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Jean George. I can't say that. Tin building his clothes. 10 best watches without a date window.

[C]

Oh, that's a good. Let's hear that.

[B]

You want to hear that one? I mean, of course Netflix Sub is number one.

[A]

What?

[B]

Enough. I mean, Rolex sub is number one.

[C]

He just leaked the next collab.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Patek Calatrava. 96.

[C]

Good choice.

[B]

But, you know, that's what that is. Really. What? I'm scrolling because I try to stay off social media as much as I can, because that's impressive. I say I try.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, but definitely before bed. I do it because I don't want to freak myself out. Like, I tend to be an overthinker with certain things. So, like, if I do see, like, hey, we're close to war, then I'm not gonna be able to sleep.

[C]

And it's when you see watches without a date window, you go, I get

[B]

it calms me down.

[A]

I'm gonna go to sleep.

[B]

It calms me down. You know what I do? And tell me if you've ever. If you do this, I do it, I add things to my cart, and I just leave it there and I go away. It's like I, I, I'm just not gonna buy it.

[A]

Keep stuff in the car.

[B]

I window shop online.

[C]

So you keep it in the cart as a way of giving yourself some time to see if you really need it the following day.

[B]

No, I'm not gonna buy it ever.

[A]

But you keep it in the car.

[C]

So you're tricking the website.

[B]

Yeah. What's.

[A]

What's that accomplishing? Nothing.

[B]

It's just something I do.

[D]

Maybe they'll give you a discount.

[C]

They do do that.

[B]

Oh, I'm breaking the system here.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I thought we were talking about watches. I was like, I don't even.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. They're not. You're not putting anything to a car. That's not happening. Rolex is really hoping. Pateka. Yeah, here's 30% off for St. Patrick's Day on all green dial. That's not happening. That would be sick. That would be super cool.

[A]

I have a question. What do you think is the.

[C]

The answer, by the way, to your question was commitment issues, but go ahead.

[B]

What was the question?

[C]

Commitment issues.

[A]

That's why you're doing the cart.

[C]

Oh, I don't want to make a diagnosis.

[B]

I mean, this is like a therapy session for us. This is. This feels very good.

[A]

For me, this is one thing.

[B]

But I will also say you didn't answer how useless male nipples are. And if they will lactate once you

[C]

suck on them enough, they can lactate in certain. Certain medical conditions, hormonal imbalances, some medications, so.

[D]

But is it milk?

[C]

It's milk. Okay.

[B]

Raw milk, baby.

[A]

But is it milk?

[C]

And what's the use of them? It's just like the. The normal human blueprint. Inside the embryo, we're all the same.

[B]

And on the outside, too, we're all kind of similar. There's a lot of differences. Not gonna touch that.

[A]

What do you think is like the. Like, obviously you have a lot of knowledge about how to stay healthy and stay on top of those types of things, but what do you think is, like, your most unhealthy habit?

[C]

My cholesterol is really high. I'm actually waiting for my results right now to see where I'm at. I'm nervous about it.

[A]

Why is it high?

[C]

Great question you're asking.

[D]

New.

[A]

You're asking.

[C]

I'm eating hot dogs.

[B]

He's asking these personal questions.

[C]

I told you, transparency. I eat a lot of. No, I don't eat a lot of hot dogs. My food choices have not been great.

[B]

What's your guilty pleasure food besides hot dogs?

[C]

Something that's high in saturated fat. Like, I love cookies and cream milkshakes, but I haven't been having them. But I'll have you know what it is. When I go to a restaurant, I get the wagyu, and that's not good.

[A]

I mean, you got it.

[B]

That's me.

[C]

That's not good. I mean I. I just, I'm doing it too often.

[B]

That's me too.

[C]

You know how some celebrities or people that get some notoriety on social media, they make a buck and they go oh my God. And they develop a drug problem. Sure, yeah, that's me. But with Wagyu.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

With like anything that has MP on the menu.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. Two, two crab legs. I'll take three orders of them are crab legs.

[C]

I said 20 hot dogs.

[B]

No, dude, I feel you on that

[A]

year is pretty solid.

[B]

I'll tell you this though, when it's.

[C]

I did have the most expensive burger I've ever had in my life this weekend. Where Kith Ivy.

[A]

Oh, they make food over there now?

[C]

Well, yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's like the club members club.

[C]

I'm not a member.

[B]

I don't even know what that is.

[A]

It's like I'm not invited.

[B]

I know Kith they open like a membership club.

[A]

It's like a paddle or. Yeah, it's like a paddle club.

[C]

You know paddle, paddle or padel?

[A]

Padel, I guess. Yeah.

[B]

Like paddleball.

[C]

Yes, but it's like pickleball, tennis and squash. Had a baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, you lost me somehow following more of the medical talk.

[A]

How much was the burger?

[C]

$64.

[B]

That's the most expensive burger you've ever had.

[C]

Where do you have a more expensive without gold flakes on it? I've never has nothing weird on it.

[B]

I've never had a burger. I imagine it was going to be be like 200 bucks.

[C]

I mean where does the 200 bucks burger exist?

[B]

I'm sure you can find it somewhere.

[A]

I just had a burger.

[B]

What's that like four Charles Burger?

[C]

That's not expensive like that.

[A]

Yeah, the burger at Fort Charles is probably just like 40 bucks. Yeah, 30. Really? Yeah, I just had Red Hook Tavern for the first time. Like the burger there apparently sounds really good.

[B]

Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG it kicked off the this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe and every single one is zero sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.

[A]

Damn.

[C]

How much was it?

[A]

It's good. I think it was like 30 bucks.

[C]

That's why.

[A]

How was the $64 burger.

[C]

It was pretty good. There were some kebabs on the side that were great.

[B]

Wasn't Wagyu, though, right?

[C]

It was.

[B]

It was.

[C]

That's the sick part.

[B]

It wasn't. It wasn't that a five?

[C]

It wasn't a five.

[B]

It wasn't a five.

[C]

No.

[B]

Have you been to Japan?

[C]

No.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I would love to go if you guys go. Can you take me?

[A]

Can't bring you to Japan.

[C]

Yeah, you can.

[A]

No.

[B]

You're like, I'm huge addict.

[C]

Six, three.

[B]

I mean, yeah, you are.

[A]

You're big.

[B]

Physically speaking, in Japan. Also, your super pubes, too. We'll cut that out.

[A]

What are we even talking about at this point?

[D]

I'll join, obviously.

[C]

I love sushi.

[B]

So what's your. What's your go to sushi?

[C]

Like, I. I was going to a place called Sushi Seki for the longest time on the Upper east side. They're really good.

[B]

I meant order. Like, are you going, oh, Makasi.

[C]

I just. I trust the chef.

[A]

Have you been to Nas?

[C]

Nas?

[A]

Yeah, Sushi Nas.

[C]

Where is that?

[A]

It's.

[C]

Why does it feel like he made that up?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

He knows his restaurant.

[A]

It's a very, like, nice restaurant. The. The chef is like. He's like a famous sushi chef or something.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

I went once. It was really good, but it was very intimidating, really? Because it's like eight people and then. Oh, it's wondering. He's making it. And I was like.

[C]

And he's judging you to make sure you're eating it correctly.

[A]

Dude, he scared the out of me because at one point he has, like, fresh scallops and he's like, talk. And it's like, very quiet.

[C]

Right?

[A]

And he's just making it. It's like, you know, you're watching the guy at work.

[C]

Art is an experience.

[A]

Amazing. And then he just takes the scallop and he's just like. Like right in front of me on the table. And I was like, oh. And then it moves because it's alive. Yeah. And I ate it.

[C]

Wow. I feel like these days you can just say a syllable and it could be a sushi place in the city.

[A]

Kind of. Yeah.

[C]

Cuz there's a lot of sushi. We went to. Did you watch Zero Dreams of Sushi?

[B]

No. I heard it's good, though.

[C]

It's really good.

[B]

We went to a. We went to a Japanese barbecue place in Texas once.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that seems like where they would.

[B]

The food was good. The food was solid.

[C]

Walk in all white People.

[B]

Yeah. We were like.

[A]

This was an interesting thing.

[B]

This doesn't feel right. Because every person in there was white and they were like, speaking. Speaking. They were trying to do like traditional. Like when someone shout something in Japanese.

[C]

It's like when they have the. What are those? Where they cook for you but they do a show.

[B]

Hibachi.

[C]

Hibachi.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't. Don't downplay hibachi. Like you don't think.

[C]

No, but it's been co opted.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Now it's like, you know, kids named Brett that do it.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

You know, does not suck, by the way. Is incredible.

[C]

No, hibachi is great. I love the little volcano.

[B]

So cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I one time went and got real drunk and they let me go and do the volcano and I put my hand on the thing and went like that. Burnt off my.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

My. What would make.

[C]

You shouldn't have done that.

[B]

Did you not hear the very drunk one that I. That was the preamble to that story.

[A]

It was the first time he was sepsic. Sepsic.

[B]

Stop talking about my borderline sepsis.

[C]

Do you dip sushi in soy sauce the correct way?

[B]

You're supposed to dip the. The fish side, right?

[A]

I don't do it.

[C]

Oh, you don't? Oh, because you go to the fancy place where they brush it with a brush.

[A]

But even when I get sushi at home, I'll just, like, eat it.

[C]

When you get sushi at home, you make it yourself?

[B]

No, no. Like, I. When I order it, he doesn't use the soy sauce. I think it's what he.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I don't. I don't dip it. I just, like, eat it because I feel like soy sauce is such a powerful.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so powerful that I'm like. I don't want to ruin the. No. Sometimes there's like a little sauce there that isn't.

[B]

A little bit.

[A]

I'll throw like a little.

[B]

A little bit spicy mayo.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Where's that from? That's from somewhere a little.

[B]

Where?

[C]

What?

[B]

I think he's talking about your tongue. Oh, my tongue? My tongue is for my mouth, not for the sword. Just like a little like.

[C]

Like that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, they have like a. You know, something, and I'll be like, all right. Or like a little wasabi or like a ginger.

[B]

Damn. Let's get back to the medical talk. So male nipples.

[C]

Male nipples.

[B]

They're not useless.

[C]

I mean, they have sensation for people enjoy them sexually sometimes.

[A]

How would you know you outright.

[B]

He does, Right?

[A]

Thank you. I said that it's just.

[B]

He comes in here and he's just like, oh, I got to take a picture. Oh, he, like, does it. That's not what I.

[A]

But it's not a sexual thing.

[B]

Loves. Loves to play with his nipples.

[A]

No, that's crazy. I mean, I'm not against it. I'm not a prude. Dude, you want to pull on my nipples?

[C]

Whatever.

[A]

I'm not.

[C]

You know, now I know why you guys have such a big space.

[B]

Hidden rooms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, that's the nipple set over there.

[A]

My office is up there. There's a lock on the door. And do one more question.

[C]

One more.

[D]

None of them are all right. So after that. Okay, here we go. Oh, can you actually. Is this yours? Can you actually get sick from holding in a fart?

[B]

I didn't write that. I did not write that. That was not me.

[C]

Have you gotten sick from holding.

[B]

Stop looking at me. It wasn't me. I hate.

[C]

Hold on. You're just closer.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

I. I notably hate farts. I hate burps. I hate poop talk.

[A]

Oh, I can't burp. I have that thing. It's called, like, RC something.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

RC Cola.

[A]

I can't, I can't.

[C]

You have enough of that. You'll burp.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I can't burp. Like, it some, like, very. What's the opposite of often? Rarely. Very rarely. It'll just kind of, like, escape and it'll like, kind of scare me, but I can't burp. And it's like. Yeah, it just kind of like. It feels like I'm going to throw up out of nowhere. And then I'm like, oh, interesting.

[C]

So you have like a sensitive esophagus or something.

[A]

There's. There was something I read online that people. Because I saw this, like, tick tock where someone was talking about. And I was like, oh, this is the thing that I have. And then you can correct it with, like, Botox in a certain thing. So I think just like a muscle. It's like a muscular thing. I don't know.

[C]

I'm not sure.

[A]

I'm just so muscular. That's what it is.

[B]

That's what it is. So fucking ripped. He has a ripped throat. Look at my neck. Look at his throat.

[A]

Like 16 and a half here.

[B]

Washboard abs on his Adam's apple.

[A]

It is a thick neck.

[D]

He doesn't have the ability to relax his throat is what they're saying.

[A]

Yeah, you.

[C]

Hey, hey. Remember when you asked me what's one thing that would phase out of the human body.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Based on survival of the fittest, probably, I think an overtight throat.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

An over.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta be able to burn.

[A]

It's gonna.

[B]

It's gonna get more loose as you gotta. You gotta. You gotta loosen your throat up.

[A]

Yeah. What was the question that you asked, by the way?

[C]

Oh, yeah, farts.

[A]

If you get sick, painful farts. Oh, painful farts.

[B]

I didn't write that.

[C]

It's not gonna be comfortable. You might be bloated. First of all, farting is normal.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Let's put that out there.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

10 to 20 times a day. Totally great. To fart more, even. Normal.

[B]

What about those people that are, like, jarring their farts? We talked to someone once that, like, jar.

[A]

Oh, yeah, there was one story.

[B]

She was like, having, like. She was having, like, a pot of cabbage soup a day and then like, selling jarred farts.

[C]

Interesting. I. I'm not sure about that. You know, you could absorb your fart and then breathe it out.

[A]

Excuse me, hold on.

[B]

What? Wait, I've never.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

So, like, you can, like, suck in through your butt and then the fart?

[A]

It just.

[C]

Your intestines are permeable to certain gases, and those gases can be absorbed and then released by your lungs.

[B]

So you're farting in your own belly, in your mouth.

[C]

Belly is not connected to the lung. You know how they say shin bone connected to the. Yeah, like the belly and the lung are separate.

[B]

Your belly, 34 years old by your tummy. Your tummy is filled with a fart. Wow, that is disgusting.

[C]

Well, the entire GI tract is full of air. That's normal. Because when you swallow, you swallow some air. Always. But what's interesting is, do you think what's inside your GI tract is outside or inside your body?

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

See, now you're asking questions.

[A]

Wait, what? Is it inside my body?

[C]

Yeah. Is it inside? Is it technically, like, if the food you eat, is it inside your body?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where else would it be?

[C]

Well, technically, like.

[B]

Oh, it's like straight pipe. Well, not straight pipe.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So like, we're kind of like a straw.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So if. So hear me out. So then if you were to take someone and hold them, like, ass over water and like, suck on their mouth long enough, will you get water through their mouth? Like a straw?

[C]

There's too many sphincters preventing.

[B]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

The email that I'm gonna get is just gonna be Pages and pages. Yeah, put that one down.

[C]

Would.

[D]

Would that go down as one of the worst questions you've ever heard?

[A]

I mean, there's. I think that we've hit, like, the top 10.

[B]

All 10.

[C]

All 10 have been definitely. It's definitely up there. That. That was rough.

[A]

Wait, what do you.

[B]

But it probably wouldn't smell, but what do you. What do you. You didn't answer my question. Sorry. I mean, your question is.

[C]

No, I did answer your question. There's too many sphincters that prevent that from happening.

[A]

The.

[B]

How many sphincters does a normal person have?

[C]

A lot.

[A]

We have tons of Sphinx.

[B]

I thought there was only one sphincter.

[C]

Where? The anal.

[B]

The sphincter.

[C]

The.

[A]

The.

[B]

The.

[C]

No, there's a pyloric sphincter. I mean, there's other sphincters.

[B]

See, I didn't know this. Thank you. See, What a dumb question. We learned from it. Yeah.

[A]

This is.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What you're saying is, like, it's outside. What do you mean by that?

[C]

Well, because, like, again, it's like there's a hole going through your body.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That connect two exits.

[B]

So, like, the space around is the

[C]

body is what's inside the body. Like inside the blood vessels, inside the fascia. What if there's a hole going through

[A]

all of it, like a straw? It's, like, insane for me to think about.

[C]

Yeah, think about it. Think about it simply from, like, a worm perspective. A worm eats, and then it just has, like, a thing that goes through that's easier to picture than our complicated system.

[A]

That's so. Honestly, it never even occurred to me that it's like, there's. Frank, shut up.

[B]

Because you asked one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

[C]

Now I know how he got sepsis for this.

[B]

If you help someone upside down. What are you talking about?

[C]

I'm gonna get an email from my hospital administrator. That's like. Dr. Mike, you were posed this question

[B]

about sucking water through the heat.

[A]

Oh, that's actually.

[B]

That's actually a good question. Has any of your content made any people that you've worked with or your superiors, like, have to tell you? Like, listen.

[C]

No, they actually are super supportive, so it's nice.

[B]

What you gonna put that? I mean, after this, who knows what they say?

[A]

My God, dude, this is really not.

[C]

Can you imagine you breathe farts.

[A]

Yeah. No, that's just.

[C]

Yeah, but farts smell bad because of the sulfur components, and that's not one that you regularly will breathe out.

[B]

Is there methane in there?

[C]

Yeah. Fermenting producer.

[A]

So you could die from it with enough of it.

[C]

Of what?

[A]

Farting, like, in a small room. A lot of methane.

[C]

No.

[A]

Damn it.

[B]

Is it true? And I don't know if you would have the answer to this, but, like, the ozone is potentially ruined because of all the methane.

[C]

Not an environmental doctor. Different doctor.

[A]

My God, that was awesome.

[C]

I'm not an oracle, dude.

[B]

You are to us. Let's be honest.

[C]

These guys like Neo, this is the

[B]

most important episode we've ever had because we are asking anything and everything, like, what happens after death. We're gonna ask it and you're gonna help us get there.

[A]

Oh, my God, dude.

[B]

Well, this is a good time. We.

[A]

We appreciate you so much.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you for coming, man.

[C]

It's nice to see that there's other creators in New York. I feel like there's few of us.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Come hang out.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Come hang.

[C]

Ball. Where do you ball?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I ball.

[C]

Where do you ball?

[A]

Well, I ball like that. I've bald. I can ball.

[C]

I was gonna say there has to be a blue ball question coming.

[B]

There was a blue ball question. There was a blue ball question. What is it?

[C]

No, you know what it is.

[B]

Don't ask me.

[C]

I write it.

[B]

Someone here wrote it.

[C]

You wrote it.

[B]

I didn't write it. You did.

[C]

No, you did not.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

How would you define it?

[A]

Blue balls. It's a hurting of my balls. I've never.

[C]

Do you concur?

[B]

Why are you asking? Oh, well, I am. I am closer to being a doctor than he is. We've already established that.

[C]

So, doctor, what is a blue ball?

[B]

Blue balls are a buildup of. Of semen, sperm and semen in the testicular region that as it is traveling through it kind of gets stopped at the door by the bouncer. And it's just like, we are at capacity or we're not letting anyone in tonight.

[C]

Out.

[B]

Private event.

[D]

Not letting anyone out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But like, they're standing at like, the base of the shaft and they're just like, stay here.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then. And then it just stays there. And it's just like. It's like when. You know, when people, like. Like an overcrowded room, you know, uncomfortable. Too much in there, and it's like, well, the walls are gonna burst at a certain point.

[A]

Nailed it.

[B]

Did I.

[D]

No, no.

[C]

I mean, it was. It was a good swing. Good swing, Right? But you. It wasn't exactly in the right direction.

[B]

I mean, I'm not looking for exactly acts, but at Least give me, like, I am on the right path.

[C]

Well, semen is not involved in the process.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

So blue balls is epididymal congestion or hypertension. So basically, you get a lot of blood flow to your genital area. That increases pressure, but then when you don't orgasm, that pressure just builds and stays. But it's a blood flow issue, so it's a vascular issue.

[B]

Oh, it's like a penis heart attack.

[C]

No,

[B]

that sounded.

[D]

For some reason, that sounded so smart.

[C]

It did.

[A]

Absolutely not. Absolutely not at all.

[C]

Actually, a penis heart attack is more like when you have, you know, one of those erections that last more than eight hours. They always say on the commercials.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Because literally that blood sits there, and because it's losing oxygen, it's acidifying, it's damaging the endothelial lining there. So, yeah, that's like a penis heart attack.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So if that. Oh, wow.

[C]

That's why they got to drain it.

[B]

I never. I have to drain it. Yeah.

[C]

And everything.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

So don't do it.

[B]

Well, I mean, I wouldn't even know how. Well, they say, like, with those, like, gas station pills. Yeah, like horny goat weed. That'll get you going.

[C]

Horny goat weed.

[A]

That's what you.

[B]

I mean, you grew up in New York. You don't remember going to the bodega and seeing horn. Horny goat weed? Behind. Behind. Right next to the fart bags.

[C]

Tell me what you did in this bodega.

[B]

No.

[C]

Is that how you got septiced?

[B]

Right next to the fart.

[C]

Lemon heads. I got lemon.

[B]

Lemon heads. Lemon heads.

[C]

I was getting lemon heads. You were buying Horny rain.

[B]

You remember rain? Blow the gumballs that had, like, the food dye in them so your mouth would turn different colors.

[C]

What the hell? You had an interesting childhood, sir.

[B]

Don't. Don't you. Two bucks for me.

[D]

Don't.

[B]

Yeah, no, like, you don't. Seriously. You never went into bodega and saw, like, horny.

[C]

We went to different bodega.

[B]

So they're like. It's like a pill, and. And it literally has a goat on it or, like, people making out, and it's called horny goat weed. Look it up.

[C]

What would happen when you would take it?

[B]

I didn't take it. I've never taken it.

[C]

But you know so much about it.

[A]

It's at the counter.

[B]

It's at the count. It's like, it's used as, like, you know, the, like.

[A]

Fuck.

[B]

What's it called?

[D]

Viagra.

[B]

Viagra. It was like the, like, Bodega Viagra, basically.

[C]

Well, interesting. Viagra. And all those medications, Sildenafil, they. In the commercials, you hear them say if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, it almost never happens as a result of just those medications. So they don't really cause that.

[A]

What are those medications do? It's just like a. That's like.

[C]

It's a circulation thing.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, but like, how does it target the balls like dick?

[C]

It doesn't. That's why some people get bloodshot when they. Their eyes get bloodshot when they take it. Their nose sometimes runs because it opens all the blood vessels.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

It's a vasorelaxer.

[B]

And this is serious. I don't think I've known someone that's ever taken them. And I guess they wouldn't publicize that to me.

[A]

I. I don't know.

[C]

It's because you're not a doctor.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I know plenty of people who've taken them.

[B]

Well, have you prescribed it?

[C]

Of course.

[B]

Why do you say it like that?

[C]

Well, because. You're making it sound like I'm a fake doctor.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

You have a prescribe antibiotics.

[B]

No, no, no. Don't do you that. I don't want this to come off.

[A]

You ever hear of amoxicillin?

[B]

I just didn't know if it was something you've ever done before, like after horny goat weed.

[C]

He totally disbelieved that. I'm a physician. You don't know horny goat weed? Where'd you get your license?

[B]

No, that's more about the growing up in New York part of it that I'm surprised. Oh, God.

[C]

Airheads, Lemon heads. That's what I was doing.

[A]

Are you an airhead guy?

[B]

What color airhead?

[C]

Oh, that's a good question. If you say, I think the white one.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You just like to live on the edge.

[A]

Yeah, you just like.

[C]

Because you just never know.

[B]

I think they figured out that it was a flavor.

[A]

They just.

[C]

Oh, it is.

[A]

Yeah. I think it's like all of the white ones are like that flavor. Yeah, but it's like mystery.

[C]

You guys have Scholastic book fairs?

[B]

Hell yeah, dude.

[C]

They don't have that anymore.

[B]

I know.

[C]

What do they do? I mean, reads. I mean.

[B]

Wait a sec. No, they had a book fair at one of my. I think it was a school.

[C]

I don't know. I said that without actually that way.

[B]

Welcome to the show, baby. Oh, no.

[C]

I'm being infected.

[B]

It's in the air. It's in the air. Welcome to the show. You're going to go home, get septic. No, no, no. It's not. It's not as prominent as, like, when we were kids, but, like, they do book, like, book sales to some degree. I know that because, like, we've given the kids, like, money and they've come back with books and stuff like that.

[A]

I used to love the book fair.

[B]

Oh, my God, this glass.

[A]

I wouldn't even get that.

[B]

When you'd get that paper and you just be like, oh, I can buy, like, three pounds of slime, dude. I love Goosebumps.

[C]

Yeah. I never read a book from Goosebumps, but I just had them.

[B]

Did you watch the COVID Did you watch the show?

[C]

There was a show?

[B]

What?

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. They're like the little movies. Was that a TV show?

[B]

It was a show, and they're episodic. Where. Are you guys kidding me with this? Wow. You don't remember? Ryan Gosling was in one, right?

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, as a.

[D]

As a child.

[B]

As a child actor. Yeah. And the. Say cheese and die. Thank God you're here. Yeah. You're welcome. That's a full grown adult actor.

[C]

I did not know that, dude.

[B]

I. I don't know where they're available. It might be on Netflix, but, like. Like nostalgia.

[C]

I just saw R.L. stine on that golden show, the collectible show. He was, like, auctioning off something. Actually, it might have been from the show, dude.

[B]

Apparently. I don't know how true this is. The rumor is that he has sold more copies of Goosebumps. And Stephen King has sold copies.

[C]

Yeah, I heard that, too. I think that's. I mean, I think that's crazy, dude.

[A]

R.L.

[B]

stein, legend, absolute legend. Also not on the list.

[A]

Looks like the guy who would write that book.

[B]

Yeah. You've never seen a picture? Oh, no.

[C]

He was on the show, but I just can't.

[B]

Oh, man. He looks like R.L. stein. There's no other way to describe it. And Stephen King looks like Stephen King. Yeah. You know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know that one. Are you afraid of the dark? Were you a fan of that as a kid?

[C]

No, I was really afraid of the dark.

[A]

Me, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, the show.

[C]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

Wait, you're afraid of the dark? Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You got a night.

[C]

Now less now noise. More. He.

[B]

He took a therapy psychology class, so he can help. Therapy. Let's you. Let's unpack that.

[A]

You have. Would you say you're afraid of noise?

[C]

Noise at night?

[A]

What is it? Oh, at night.

[B]

You grew up in New York, brother.

[A]

He lives in the burbs.

[B]

I know now it's true.

[A]

Yeah. If I hear anything, I'm nervous.

[B]

Yo.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I'm telling you, since moving out of the city, you hear something. I get frustrated, freaked out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, yeah.

[C]

Because it's supposed to be quiet.

[A]

Yes. And then the house makes a noise. I don't like that type of.

[B]

And then when it's not, I moved

[A]

into an apartment that was in like an old building once.

[C]

Oh, the Creeks.

[A]

It was my second night there. And like, I don't know why I do this myself. I got in bed and I was like, what if this place is haunted? That was my first thought. Then I started hearing banging.

[B]

And it.

[A]

Like, I'm using.

[B]

It was not.

[A]

But I'm hearing banging and I'm like, what? What is that? And then I. It was. It ended up being the heat, but it didn't sound like a. Like a radiator or anything. I walked outside and then there's like one pole, like, on the opposite side of my apartment that was. I thought there was someone in my apartment. I ran downstairs, yo.

[B]

Like, particularly when like, like the winter is coming because the ground is swelling and like that, like, the house is like my house shifts. So, like, you'll just randomly, in the middle of night here, just like. Yeah, I'm just like that.

[C]

That's scary.

[B]

It ain't fun.

[D]

I think you're very mentally strong. If you could turn off the light in your basement and slowly walk up the stairs.

[A]

I do that. I haven't done that.

[C]

I do that.

[D]

I feel like I always kind of.

[B]

When I was a kid, that movie 13 Ghosts ruined me. You remember that movie?

[C]

No.

[D]

No.

[B]

What did you watch as a kid? You named two Nickelodeon and you didn't see Are you afraid of the dark? Rugrats is a great show.

[C]

Doug. Hey, Arthur.

[B]

Doug. Hey, Arnold. Hey, Arthur.

[A]

Or Arthur is a different.

[D]

There is an Arthur.

[A]

They are.

[B]

Arthur was on pbs.

[C]

Hey, Arnold.

[B]

Hey, Arnold. Yes, yes, yes.

[C]

Well, Arthur was on pbs. Yeah, that was. The good kids. Showed you got good grades.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[A]

Well, look at you. You're doing all right.

[B]

You probably watched it.

[C]

You know what they call the person?

[B]

Stupid question. I was watching freaking Dexter's Laboratory Ed.

[A]

EDD and Eddie.

[C]

Oh, that's a good one, though. Power Puff Girls.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[C]

Those are good times. What do they watch now? I don't even know.

[B]

You want to know what's tick tock?

[C]

Oh, you want to know? No way.

[A]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I know the kid. My kids watch Bluey's a big One. Bluey is blue.

[C]

Yeah, but that's like. Is that, like, loose clues?

[B]

No, actually, you know, kind of it's about blue Australian dogs. But, like, no, it's. It's a really endearing. Like, there are some episodes.

[D]

Clifford.

[C]

But now he's blue. Yeah.

[B]

Not really. Like, it's like the whole world is dogs.

[A]

Oh, I see.

[B]

Except for, like.

[C]

That's a good.

[B]

Seagulls and shit like that. And it's from Australia. You know, they have one, like, child's program that does.

[C]

I want to know what person. I want to know two people's mindsets. One, who writes a book that says, imagine the whole world was dogs and seagulls.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And second, who is the first person to see a cow utter and go, I want to suck on that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude. Wait, what?

[B]

No, no, no. I agree. I would like to know what that.

[A]

Milk a cow.

[C]

No. What?

[B]

Dude, Doc, we got to get you. We got to get you at the farm. You're. Yo, you're not into raw milk in Queens?

[C]

Where are you milking cows?

[B]

My God.

[C]

Trips.

[B]

Yeah, like a field trip.

[C]

You went to a nice school?

[B]

We went to public schools, baby. We didn't go anywhere nice. Okay.

[C]

You go to PS2.

[B]

PS2.

[C]

Oh, see, you went to the low schools. I went to PS104. By the time they got that doesn't matter.

[B]

There's 112. Yeah. First of all, when they get to the hundreds, it's the scraps, too. It's just like, yo, this is, like, the good. This is a good.

[C]

That's why they took you to the goat farm.

[B]

We went to it. But, no, in our element, in our pre K, we went to the.

[C]

I didn't even get the sheep in front of me.

[B]

I was like, yo, this is up. Yeah, we're killing it. I'm telling you right now.

[C]

You.

[B]

You ever milk a cow?

[A]

Nope.

[B]

It'll change your life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It'll change your way. It's just, like, not what you expect. It doesn't feel.

[C]

What do you expect?

[B]

I expected to, like.

[C]

I don't expect much.

[B]

It. Like, I thought it would be like a balloon, like, very light and. But, like, there's some weight to it.

[A]

They're heavy.

[B]

And then if you milk a cow in a metal bucket.

[A]

Now we're talking.

[C]

The sound is good.

[A]

The asmr. That alone.

[B]

How did you do. That was really good.

[A]

No, that didn't sound anything like it,

[B]

but that was an insane sound. That was an insane sound.

[C]

Do you have a bionic cow?

[B]

I'm very Good with sounds. A spaceship.

[C]

Not recreating them, obviously.

[B]

I'm pretty good with sounds and impressions. Have you.

[A]

Have you mill a cow?

[D]

I have never milked a cow.

[C]

No.

[A]

This is ridiculous.

[D]

We could do a field trip.

[A]

We could right now to go milk a cow. I don't even know.

[C]

I think RFK will come.

[A]

Yeah, he will.

[B]

That's like the third mention of RFK on this episode. He loves raw milk. And he does.

[C]

Yeah. And you're talking about utters.

[B]

He does. You know what? If anyone knows what utters feel like, it's probably rfk. He's getting that raw milk straight from the source, baby.

[A]

The idea of drinking milk out of

[C]

the nutter is that's what raw milk is.

[A]

No, I know.

[C]

I don't know. I don't get it.

[B]

Yeah, I'm really good with, like, homogenized milk, you know? Like, I'm good with that.

[A]

It's pasteurized, this thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway.

[C]

Well, my favorite is when they go, I love raw milk, but I boil it,

[B]

it's no longer raw. It's bluey pasteur in the flesh, and now it's cooked.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like the hot dogs that you used to have, I put it through a strainer.

[C]

Like, I.

[A]

You know, it's not raw.

[B]

Yeah. I boil it cheesecloth.

[C]

Well, that's why, like, a lot of the people who are anti vaccine are like, why don't doctors think about prevention ever? You guys are all about treatments with your pharma. I'm like, vaccines?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They prevent the illness. And they go, no, but not vaccines.

[B]

Gotcha. Not because it's supporting. It's not supporting their argument, but it is.

[C]

So I don't get it.

[B]

I think you did a great job dealing with probably some of the most.

[C]

I mean, they're great people.

[B]

I'm gonna be nice. I'm gonna be nice. I'm gonna be nice.

[C]

I'm not gonna do it.

[B]

You showed a lot of patience, and I don't know how you did it.

[C]

Well, the purpose is to get everyone on the same page, because vaccines only work when all of us buy in. And I'm not selling them to get people to buy in. I'm selling them because they work, and I'm telling the truth. And we want to not have measles again. See, I want to make America healthy again by going back to where we were before the measles outbreaks.

[B]

If you can give one parting sentiment

[A]

to people, what would it be?

[C]

Trust your doctor, not rfk. Wow, that's a good sentiment.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you're not going to get an argument out of it.

[C]

Says, do not trust experts. That's his. That's. These are quotes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, he says certain vaccines have killed more people than they say. I mean, yeah.

[B]

Would you ever do a sit down interview with rfp?

[C]

I would love it. Yeah, I would. I would box him whatever he wants.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

I'm a professional fighter.

[B]

You have to. Well, you're a professional fighter.

[C]

I fought on Showtime Pay per view.

[A]

Fight Frank right now.

[B]

Fight me right now.

[C]

I can't. If I hate you, I can go to jail for a lethal weapon. I won't call.

[B]

If he dies, we'll have him sign something.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's not. If he. You can sign.

[A]

We're not going to call.

[B]

I can sign it.

[C]

You can't sign.

[B]

Who says I can't sign it?

[A]

A waiver. Look at a doctor.

[B]

Who are you to tell me I can't sign it?

[C]

Where's the lawyer?

[A]

Yeah, where's the lawyer?

[B]

It's a lawyer.

[D]

I can do it. We'll have a doctor sign off and

[C]

then I can't be the one killing him and treating him.

[B]

Wait, so what, you're a trained. What? Boxer? Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah, I fought on Jake Paul's undercard.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you win?

[B]

No.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

But I won my first one against idubbbz. I don't know if you guys know who that is.

[B]

Oh, I do.

[A]

He's a YouTuber, right?

[C]

Yeah, I beat him up. Up pretty bad.

[B]

So you're tall. Great gray head of hair, if I may say so myself. From what head of hair to another head of hair.

[C]

You know, someone accused me of having a toupee the other day.

[A]

That's nice.

[B]

You know, people just want to see the. Like, they see people that are doing well for themselves and they're happy and they're just like, I want to fucking ruin that person.

[C]

I just. I'd love to see what they're seeing.

[B]

Do the. Do the Trump thing. Try to rip your hair off right now.

[A]

Does he.

[B]

Oh, I see that. I saw the stitches.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know how. How funny it would be if it

[B]

just came off, stuck into the wall?

[C]

Would have pissed my pants, you guys. Now use generative. AI Banana, whatever it is.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Nano banana, whatever the it is. Yeah.

[B]

That would be crazy.

[A]

Let's have Dr. Mike ripping his hair off and putting it on the wall.

[C]

See, we can fight. Oh. Oh, that was intimidating.

[B]

That was.

[C]

We could fight.

[A]

You can.

[B]

You can.

[C]

No, I fought a. You know who Nate Diaz is. Yeah, Yeah, I fought his, like, trading partner and boy, Chris Avila, that's who I fought. He has like 30 pro fights.

[A]

God damn, that was a crazy thing you did.

[B]

Good for you.

[C]

I lost all the judges scorecards. He didn't knock me out.

[B]

Who cares? You won in your heart, right?

[C]

Oh, yeah, I won.

[B]

That's. That's it.

[C]

That's what I mean. We. Because of that, we were able to donate125,000 to the Harlem Boys and Girls Club, which is. Oh, yeah, I got paid for the fight.

[B]

That's awesome. Sweet.

[A]

So that was cool. Oh, you did it just to donate the money?

[C]

Yeah, for the funsies.

[A]

What a guy works in a house.

[C]

I don't recommend it. Don't fight. That's not good. All right, But I did it.

[B]

Do as I say, not as I do type situation.

[A]

There we go.

[C]

That's a good line.

[B]

And the tongue can lick them both.

[A]

That doesn't add.

[C]

We could have gone without the second

[A]

part, but do you want to just plug, like your YouTube channel and everything?

[C]

Yeah, check it out. Dr. Mike. It's everywhere. Yeah, it's pretty cool that I own kind of Dr. Mike. Like, that's a pretty common name.

[A]

There's one Dr. Mike. Mike.

[B]

I used to see the billboard on the turnpike all the time.

[C]

There's a billboard.

[B]

There was a billboard.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

See, every day I would drive. Yeah, Every day I would drive home. Dr. Mike. The Internet's number or YouTube number one doctor.

[C]

And I was just like, thank you, YouTube.

[B]

What it say?

[A]

What was it like?

[B]

That's all it said. It was a picture of him.

[A]

Like, stethoscope or not?

[B]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. You got to do this scrubs. And it said, Dr. Mike.

[A]

How long ago was this? Very recent.

[C]

This has to be a long time ago.

[B]

Within the last, like three years maybe. I would say three, four years.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Interesting. That's great. Sam knows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's amazing. Well, we thank you so much.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Anytime. You guys have questions, I'll stop by. I'm not far.

[B]

We'll see you next week. You might get a call in the middle of an episode.

[C]

That's okay. I'm always.

[A]

If Kristen Bell can do it, then I'm gonna hit you up.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're getting. You're getting a message.

[A]

100k, man. Frank's trying to convince me to drink my own piss. Or we're just going to use Dr. Mike, I think, like.

[B]

Yeah, we'll have. We'll have him on standby for you. We'll have a Dr. Mike button. We'll have a Dr. Mike button.

[A]

I'm telling the doctor now that you said that. But yeah, go follow Dr. Mike everywhere makes awesome content. And Instagram everywhere. And that is all. See you guys next time.