#546 - Protect Punch The Monkey At All Costs

Summary

The Basement Yard #546 – Protect Punch The Monkey At All Costs

Date: March 16, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez, Aunt Prisco
Studio: Santagato Studios

---

Episode Overview

This episode blends hilarious nostalgia with absurd banter as Joe, Frank, and Aunt Prisco spiral from childhood candies and pranks to the cult-worthy saga of Punch the Monkey, a lonely zoo animal now championed by the internet. The hosts dissect everything from revolving doors and Halloween superstores to the etiquette of balls-out humor in adolescent boyhood, all culminating in an impassioned (and very funny) defense of a plush-toting primate. This wide-ranging, story-driven episode is rich in inside jokes, “gottem” moments, and the kind of chemistry only lifelong friends possess.

---

Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Red Clothes, Candy, & Revolving Door Rants

• [00:40-05:53]
  • Frank and Joe kick off with red clothes, Big Red gum, and hot tamales, spiraling into the origins of the phrase “sit and spin.”
  • The crew debates the difference between “spin,” “rotate,” and “revolve,” eventually mocking the inefficiency and awkwardness of revolving doors.
  • Quote [02:24 | Joe]: “A revolving door, to me, is so stupid.”
  • Airport revolving doors and “little triangle pizza” spaces get compared to “hotboxing musk.”
  • Aunt Prisco shares a not-so-fun fact: revolving doors are about insulation, not speed.

2. Party City Memories & Halloween Spirit

• [06:22-09:41]
  • Reminiscing about Spirit Halloween HQ (“an amusement park for goths”), Party City nostalgia, and unlicensed costumes like “Plumber’s Brother.”
  • High-budget animatronics become a topic, and Joe talks about Astoria’s massive front-lawn skeleton displays.
  • Joe and Frank mix up “Jack Skellington” with “John Skelton” (NFL player), sparking confusion and laughter.

3. Prank Gifts, Grandma Injuries & Dirty ’90s Insults

• [10:31-13:32]
  • Prank box and spider gifts – including a traumatizing “gum mousetrap” that broke Frank’s grandma’s finger.
  • The group laughs through their shock and remembers “read between the lines” and other ways to swear as a kid (e.g., dick-grabbing gestures).
  • Quote [13:04 | Frank]: “Do you remember when people as, like, a fuck you would just grab their dick at them?”

4. Balls Out: The Adolescent Rite of Passage

• [15:36-18:48]
  • Unapologetic, detailed breakdown of male adolescence: tricking dudes into looking at balls, “check the time” gags, and how Jackass stunts normalize it.
  • Aunt Prisco shares a story of drunken friendship involving a girlfriend rescuing exposed genitals.
  • Quote [16:10 | Frank]: “You’re gay for looking at my balls.”

5. Booth vs. Chair: Restaurant Etiquette & Food Showmanship

• [31:03-37:44]
  • Table positioning rituals at restaurants, including the awkward choreography of getting out of a booth.
  • Tableside guacamole loses appeal if the server looks miserable.
  • The trio describes “scoping” other tables’ food and eavesdropping on first dates.
  • Quote [31:16 | Frank]: “Every time I’ve gotten tableside guac, it’s done by someone that hates doing it. So, like, they’re just like...”

6. Fridge Confessions: Hot Dogs, Garage Fridges, and Abandoned Vans

• [39:47-47:54]
  • Viral story: A man discovers his date’s fridge is full of nothing but hot dogs—debunking if it’s garage or kitchen.
  • The trio role-plays the “first date hot dog fridge” scenario, riffing on health concerns and logistics.
  • “Kill the garage fridge” (consuming all the drinks) and drinking in abandoned vans leads to semantics on neglect vs. abandonment.

7. Keg Parties, Jungle Juice, & College Courses in Drinking

• [48:49-54:24]
  • Nostalgia for keg stands, jungle juice (in literal trash cans), and “beer history” college classes.
  • Drinking rituals: building igloos to drink Jameson, lakeside Jack Daniels from kayaks.
  • “Binge drinking by rounds” is flagged as a hazard in their mixology course.

8. Running Gags: “Gottem” Games and These Nuts Jokes

• Throughout
  • Ongoing “these nuts” and “gottem” challenges (e.g., “suck ons,” “BBC challenge”) with dollar amounts for each tricked host.
  • Host competition escalates: “Whoever gets got has to pay $100.”
  • Quote [80:00 | Frank]: “We should have a rule that whoever gets got has to 100 bucks. 100 bucks.”

9. Punch The Monkey: Sympathetic Internet Star

• [60:23-70:24]
  • The backstory of Punch, a monkey ostracized in a Japanese zoo, who finds comfort with a toy.
  • Internet and Google are “abuzz” with Punch content—Joe insists on the monkey’s innocence while Frank remains half-invested.
  • Discussion swerves into whether animal outcasts did something to deserve isolation, and the hypothetical ethics of adopting Punch.
  • Quote [61:05 | Joe]: “It’s a beloved monkey. And I love this monkey so much because...you just feel bad. Like, a lot of them. Other monkeys are, like, not nice to them, and they, like, push them.”
  • A philosophical (and funny) argument on the finite nature of love—kids, partners, hot dogs, but can they love Punch too?

10. Food Lust: Lobster Rolls, Shishito Peppers & Mac n' Cheese Dogs

• [73:16-75:55]
  • Plans for a lobster roll adventure in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, with full culinary analysis: warm vs. cold, price breakdowns ($38 per roll!), and sides.
  • Frank and Joe envision tricked-out hot dogs with mac and cheese or stuffed with mozzarella sticks.
  • Quote [74:15 | Frank]: “Here’s the thing… I’m gonna go there, and I’m gonna have to eat three lobster rolls, and I’ll be 85 in the hole.”

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On boyhood nut humor:
  Joe: “You people are constantly pulling their balls out. Like, check the time. And it’s like, your balls are on your wrist.” [15:41]
• On the hot dog fridge:
  Frank: “I will immediately worry about this person’s cardio. Health and their...cholesterol...I’m worried about their asshole.” [44:20]
• On Punch the Monkey’s plight:
  Joe: “Because it’s sad. They’re pushing him, and he’s just sad and lonely. The lonely monkey.” [63:27]
• On beer pong policing as an RA:
  Frank: “You’re supposed to make sure...you don’t hear anyone playing beer pong. Or, like, you know, smoking a doobie in their room.” [39:28]
• On lobster roll pricing:
  Joe: “No, it’s 38.” [75:04]

---

Running Gags, Recurring Games & Inside Jokes

• “Sit and Spin / Rotate / Revolve”: Dissected for minutes, devolves into demonic Exorcist jokes.
• “Gottem”/“These Nuts” Traps: Enduring attempts to trick each other (“suck ons,” BBC, “Imagine Dragons,” “Buffon”).
• Balls, Dick, and Adolescent Pranks: Frequent callbacks, tally of whose “balls” jokes hit hardest.
• Hot Dog Obsession: Becomes a motif—how many, how, and why, plus dreams of specialty toppings.
• Lobster Roll Fantasy Planning: Sets the stage for a group outing, with ongoing food cost grumbling.
• Frank’s Skepticism Toward Punch: He loves his kids, hats, and king crab legs—but not lovable zoo monkeys.

---

Memorable Moments

• Frank’s grandma’s finger snapped by a prank gum, played for laughs but with real guilt. [11:04]
• Extended role-play: If you opened your date’s fridge and it was wall-to-wall hot dogs. [39:47-45:02]
• Aunt Prisco’s “queen bee” moment—declared the “queen ant” for her running tally of gags. [81:29]
• Joe’s ongoing confusion about the game tally, frustrated by being “got” for more money. [81:10]
• Frank’s deadpan about Punch: “I have a certain amount of love that I can give, and I’m choosing to not give it to this.” [65:51]

---

Episode Structure & Tone

• Conversational, rapid-fire banter, filled with callback humor, running jokes, and genuine “hang out” energy.
• Vulgar at times but affectionate, the episode’s vibe is classic Basement Yard: deeply unserious, yet surprisingly sincere whenever boyhood nostalgia or underdog animals are the theme.
• A mix of nostalgia and meme culture, this episode elegantly captures the ridiculousness of growing up—and the internet’s power to make even a misfit zoo monkey a star.

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Red Day & Revolving Doors: [00:40–05:53]
• Halloween Stores & Animatronics: [06:22–09:41]
• Prank Gifts & Childhood Insults: [10:31–13:32]
• Balls and Boyhood: [15:36–18:48]
• Restaurant Routines: [31:03–37:44]
• Viral Hot Dog Fridge: [39:47–47:54]
• Kegs and Jungle Juice: [48:49–54:24]
• Punch the Monkey Segment: [60:23–70:24]
• Lobster Roll Planning: [73:16–75:55]

---

Summary

If you’re looking for unfiltered, relatable humor and the kind of inside jokes only true friends can land, this episode of The Basement Yard delivers. Whether it’s defending the minor tragedies of orphaned monkeys, reflecting on the weirdness of adolescence, or mapping out future lobster roll escapades, Joe, Frank, and Prisco offer up both laughter and genuine affection. And if you’re not prepared, you just might get “gottem’d.” Protect Punch (and your dignity) at all costs.

Transcript

[Joe Sanigato]

Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster, Zero Ultra. That's the OG it kicked off this whole Zero Sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome back to the base.

[Joe Sanigato]

Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh, you got a red.

[Frank Alvarez]

Big red today.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't really wear red that often, but I feel like it's a red day.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a red day. It works for you. I think it works. You got a little red on.

[Aunt Prisco]

I got a little red on.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're always promoting.

[Aunt Prisco]

I haven't done anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

You went like this. I was pointing at the red. He's a promoter. Shameless. You know? Like, that's strike one, I think, right?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Could we agree on that?

[Joe Sanigato]

What happens if he strikes out this episode?

[Frank Alvarez]

Big Red, like one of your favorite sticks of gum.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you were a hot tamales, dude. I was a hot. You would sit and spin for hot tamales. I would.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would throw a couple in there, you know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why do people say sit and spin? You know what I did the other day? I went to sat and spun.

[Joe Sanigato]

Nope.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, but do you remember this?

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, Nicole had no idea what I was talking about, but I was like, sit on it and rotate. Do you remember that?

[Frank Alvarez]

What? No. Sorry, brother.

[Aunt Prisco]

I know. Sit and spit. I don't want to do it to you, but sit and spin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I've heard sit and spin. I also heard this was the.

[Joe Sanigato]

The Chinese middle finger. You remember that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought this was the Chinese middle finger.

[Joe Sanigato]

One of them. I think this is made up. But you don't remember someone giving you the finger being like, sit on it and rotate?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, rotates more sexual than spin.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, that's a point.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because. Because there's like, rolling to it. You know what I mean?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think. I think rotating is slower than spinning. Spinning's like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean demonic, I guess in demonic, I'm thinking of like the.

[Joe Sanigato]

The. What's her name? The Exorcist.

[Frank Alvarez]

Was she spinning? Her head spun.

[Joe Sanigato]

Her head spun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Technically, it rotated, though. Yeah. And there's a difference between revolving. Revolving goes around. Rotating, spins on an axis.

[Joe Sanigato]

Before I, you know, get into the physics of that, a revolving door, to me is so stupid.

[Frank Alvarez]

I kind of love revolving doors. They're like little. Like they're. It's like a fun way to enter and leave a building.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. It.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what?

[Joe Sanigato]

It is fun, but I feel like it just slows everything up. I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, because like, they've never. They have not perfected the speed at which you go through a revolving door.

[Joe Sanigato]

It should be a little quicker.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like you need, like. I always feel like I can rush through this thing, but then I. It stops me. There's like, yeah, I'm like this. Oh, that. That's what you do.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was like, I meant like a jog.

[Frank Alvarez]

I hate this self revolving doors, like at the airport, bro. I don't. I don't like one mile an hour spin. Because like, I stop and then I take two steps and then I have to stop and take two steps. And then like as soon as it opens, I like sneak through it. Like, give me the fuck out of here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Also, automatic doors open earlier.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am like 2 inches from this door and it's still closed. Vehemently disagree. I think automatic doors like double doors, not like, not like single automatic doors, like the double where you can use the force and open them. I think those are peak design.

[Joe Sanigato]

You stick your hand out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Still to this day. Oh yeah, we'll blur it. All right. Believe it or not. Believe it or not, a lot of people aren't as upset about that as you'd think nowadays.

[Joe Sanigato]

Jesus Christ.

[Aunt Prisco]

Morbid Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's some political commentary for you guys.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bang.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but like, still to this day, I'll. I'll walk up and like by myself, not with the kids. I'll walk up and I'll just be like, open. No, I don't do it like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I go, oh my God, you're such a nerd.

[Aunt Prisco]

Do you want a fun fact about revolving doors? It's not that fun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good. Well, now it. Hold on now it better be so fun.

[Aunt Prisco]

So it's not for speed of entry or anything like that. It's to prevent outside air and noise and dirt from entering the building. Because you know how you open a door and you get a draft?

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like if anything that does the opposite because it takes big gulps of outside air. Because, like, once that door comes in, it's like, it's. That's kind of true.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then it.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then it's making that sound. It's like it shooms it. Yeah, it does. And I don't think that there's got

[Joe Sanigato]

to be a slur in German.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do one more time.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't want to upset the Germans. Remember what happened Last time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, God.

[Aunt Prisco]

I need to hear it. I need to hear it to be able to check.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. It. I don't think those things are, like, well ventilated either. Like, there is a. Depending on the size of this, like, revolving door. You get in and you're like hot boxing steam and fucking musk.

[Joe Sanigato]

Also, they should be bigger. I'm in a little tiny triangle pizza in here and I'm stuck. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't like it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I agree. And if the person in front of you, bro, have you ever been. I almost broke my nose in a revolving door once.

[Frank Alvarez]

It stopped on you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Because a woman in front of me, I guess she. I don't know what she was doing, but she, like, ran into the door and it stopped the whole mechanism, and I kept going.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah, there's like, certain ones, like the ones at the mall. Not the mall. Excuse me, the airport. Where, like, if you touch it, it'll. It'll just, like, seize out.

[Joe Sanigato]

It jams. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And stop everything.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that the theory, like, the belief or the logic or the concept.

[Joe Sanigato]

If you say one more or the. I'm gonna wrap the phone wire around

[Frank Alvarez]

your neck of a revolving door is there.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's great.

[Frank Alvarez]

Execution has been missing something.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what I do? Like, you know when some doors have a pad outside, and when you step on the pad, it opens?

[Frank Alvarez]

Where's this guy going? Billionaire Building R Us.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pretty rare.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's pretty rare. I don't think I've ever. The only time I've seen that is, like, during Halloween where it'll have, like a jump scare activated, like, welcome mat, and they'll say, like, enter if you dare. And you step on it and a fucking, like, pops out at you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like. I don't even know if that's true, but I feel like that is like, if I could step on a mat.

[Frank Alvarez]

When's the last time you went to, like. Like a spirit Halloween or one of those stores?

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I haven't been to a spirit Halloween a long time because I order my costumes online.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no.

[Joe Sanigato]

I went to a party city. Does that count?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, Party city in the 90s was the coolest place to be during Halloween. Do you remember going and seeing all those masks and being like, Bill Clinton, a werewolf.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ronald Reagan.

[Frank Alvarez]

Reagan it. The clown. Love it here

[Joe Sanigato]

now it's Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton. It's all the people.

[Frank Alvarez]

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, which I wouldn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I don't think we're allowed to wear that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I wouldn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

But yeah, those are. Those are very interesting.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you so go to like a Spirit Halloween. Like, headquarters is in New Jersey. It's open year round. I haven't been to that one, but apparently it's like an amusement park for like.

[Joe Sanigato]

You can go to the hq.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you can go to the Spirit Halloween hq. And it's like crazy shit.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do they do all year round?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, they're. They're developing and creating and designing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, Mario, Luigi and a slutty nun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you got just the costumes because those are market. Those are like third party that they have to get the license for. But like their own decorations and animatronics

[Joe Sanigato]

and stuff like that. Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And also like the ones that they can't get the licensing for. So, like, they won't get from Netflix K Pop Demon Hunters. But it'll be like Korean pop star bad guy getters.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

And they'll look exactly Mario and Luigi. It's plumber and then it's Plumber's brother. And. But they look like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I mean, you got to go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those. Those places are cool because like, some of those animatronics are pretty intense, dude. Like, they're like hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. And people just put them on their front lawn to get, you know, eggs thrown at them and shit like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Some people. There's. There's a house in Astoria that like, sometimes when I go to my mom's and I'll drive home, it's on like 21st street and like right by the Astoria projects, there's someone that has like, not even like a big front lawn, but it's like an older house. So it has a yard and they have a. I'm not kidding. It's got to be 20ft tall. Skeleton. Yeah, it's massive. And there's another thing. I don't remember what it was, but I'm like, where do they put that

[Frank Alvarez]

in the off season? I have no. I mean, I'm sure it comes apart and folds and stuff like that because they're. They're just.

[Joe Sanigato]

It looks like bones. I don't think it's like blown up.

[Frank Alvarez]

It looks like. No, well, yeah, I know which one you're talking about. They're huge. There was one I remember, I would see all the time that they put a Donovan McNabb jersey on it. I was like, okay, that's so random. Yeah, but they're. They're fucking huge. And now they do it where it's like. I remember there was one guy that I had seen once taking the kids trick or treating that had, like, a 30 foot, like, tall, like, evil pumpkin skeleton thing. And I'm like, yo, that's got to be hundreds of dollars. And it wasn't a big house. It was like a little ranch like that. That's a lot of fudgeing shit to have to store.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like a Jack Skellington. Jack Skelton. John, come on. It's a Jack Skeleton. Jack Skelton.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nope, I think. No, don't, don't.

[Aunt Prisco]

I think you had it the first time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Jack Sk. Oh, Jack Skellington.

[Frank Alvarez]

There it is.

[Joe Sanigato]

John Skelton. I'm thinking of the quarterback. You remember him?

[Frank Alvarez]

John Skelton.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wasn't it his name?

[Frank Alvarez]

John Skelton.

[Joe Sanigato]

He played for the Cardinals or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't remember.

[Aunt Prisco]

I'll try.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who that was, I don't know. But, yeah, dude, go into a spirit of Halloween. Just play around a little bit.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, there's none around me. There's. There's one that opens up, like, in October in, like, Williamsburg. So I haven't been in there, though,

[Frank Alvarez]

but just give it a. Just give it a gander. Go in there. It's kind of a cool thing they

[Joe Sanigato]

got where it's like, we don't. We close down stores, but then we, like, we're back when it's time, you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah. And they. Bro, they get them shits up quick. Like, they'll be like, spirit Halloween coming in a week, and then it's the most insane place up. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do they have big bowls of, like, loose candy? Because I enjoy that about Party City. It's like, here's. It's 25 cents. And it's just like a giant bowl of, like, wrapped.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I don't. I don't know. But, like, they have the one that I. I never got it, but I thought about getting it one year. It's like a bowl, and it's meant to be a candy bowl, but it has a motion sensor in it. And, like, you put. You go to get it and, like, a creepy hand, like, grabs your hand or some shit like that. I love creepy stuff. For.

[Joe Sanigato]

For Christmas one year, I had this. A prank box. You would love it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I know which ones you're talking about.

[Joe Sanigato]

And it looks like a spider.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I don't know that one.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's like. It just looks like a box. And my. And I gave it to my mom. My mom cries anytime you get her anything. So as she started crying, I was like, oh my God, this is gonna be so good. And then I was like, oh my God, what if she has a heart attack? Like immediately. That's where my head went.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And we gave her this little box and then she slides it and then it looks like a. It comes out fast.

[Frank Alvarez]

Spider.

[Joe Sanigato]

And she screamed and I was like, all right, she's good. She's alive.

[Frank Alvarez]

I learned about pranked gifts after I broke my grandmother's finger with a. A gum mousetrap. It was one of those. Have you ever. Did you ever see those?

[Aunt Prisco]

I've seen them.

[Joe Sanigato]

You pull the gum.

[Frank Alvarez]

You pull the gum and it snapped and it broke my grandmother's finger.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did it break it immediately? Like, was it like crush in there? Like, gross.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was a 78 year old woman's finger. Yeah, it was broken for eight years at that point probably. But I'll tell you this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did it turn black?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Of course it did.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bruised up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was. It wasn't great.

[Aunt Prisco]

Imagine thinking you're gonna have a lovely piece of gum and then that results in a broken finger.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, imagine being 80 and thinking you're

[Frank Alvarez]

safe from that too, which is a fair assumption. Yeah, like that age group is like, we made it through the world to a world war, the Korean War, Vietnam. I'm in my golden years. I'm enjoying my time with my grandkids. Here comes my incredible grandson. This little piece of. Yeah, yeah, grandma, take a. Take a piece of Juicy Fruit. Just fucking slaps. Pulverizes her fucking poor index finger or whatever.

[Joe Sanigato]

Scream. Yeah, you got in trouble.

[Frank Alvarez]

Probably your mom would barked. I know. I don't remember.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh my God, that's so funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

But to bring it back to what you were saying, I don't remember. Sit and rotate. Oh, wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's how this started.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't remember that. I do remember. Read between the lines. Do you remember that one?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, read between the lines.

[Aunt Prisco]

You didn't have any. Cool, I didn't have that one.

[Joe Sanigato]

How'd you tell people to go themselves if you were young and couldn't curse?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, he's probably big balls. Remember he'd be like, I just said it and they didn't do anything.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah, no, it's just the. It was just the finger.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you remember? Yo, you just awakened a fucking. Like, I forgot about this by grabbing my dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember when people as like a fuck you would just grab their dick at them?

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the fuck was that? Hey, hey. They'd be like this. They go, hey, yo.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah. Suck it.

[Aunt Prisco]

You just unlocked something from me, remember,

[Frank Alvarez]

that the dicks are unlocking.

[Aunt Prisco]

There was. There was one time we were in front of a diner, and it was just me and my friend, and this jogger was running by, just grazed one of my friends. Scream. Turned around and did that. It's like, we're children.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it was such a thing. Like, it was like, hold my dick. Remember Marshawn lynch did it when he scored that Beast Mode touchdown? He, like, jumped and he, like, held his dick. Like. Yeah, that's a weird. Like, let's break that.

[Aunt Prisco]

Break it down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I thought you said, let's bring it back. No, that's weird. Like, I got you. Hold my dick.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Huh. It's an interesting.

[Aunt Prisco]

It felt right when Marshawn did it, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

He earned. He earned it because his dick was. That run is crazy. Yeah, crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's one of those things that, like. It's like a diss that you don't fully understand. I remember there was one time. I don't know if you were there, but I know, like, Dominic was there. And we're sitting outside his PS2, and it's at night, and we're young. We're like, I don't know, 13, 14 or something like that. And this car pulls up, and this girl rolls down the window, and she goes. She's clearly drunk. And she goes, you're a horse. You're a horse. And you're a horse.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're a horse. You're a horse.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then. And then Dominic just goes, thank you. And she drove away. And I was like, what just happened right now?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't understand. You're a host.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yara hors and yara horses.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't remember a horse being a diss, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

I have no idea. I was so confused. I was like, what the does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's such a weird one. I also. I. I now get it. But, like, even still, this, like, up yours. Yeah. Like, it. That just seems too aggressive for what you're saying. Like, hey, buddy, I think it's like

[Joe Sanigato]

an ultimate middle finger or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it's like. It's like, shove it up your ass.

[Joe Sanigato]

Blow it out your ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that would be a different one. Shove it up. So I think your ass is your hand that's slapping your bicep. Oh.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then. And then this is we. I.

[Frank Alvarez]

But that one, I don't remember as much.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know what.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, where do these things come from? What was like, the dis. When you kids were in school.

[Aunt Prisco]

I don't know. Like, I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right?

[Aunt Prisco]

I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Aunt Prisco]

I can't remember.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. Like, you know.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what I was thinking about this morning?

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, boy.

[Frank Alvarez]

This would be good.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was just gonna say that, like, when you're young and you're. You're a group of white people, balls are, like, a big part of that. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it's a weird sentence to say. Thank you.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, you people are constantly pulling their balls out. Like, check the time. And it's like, your balls are on your wrist.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Like, I can't tell you how many.

[Joe Sanigato]

How many of my friends put their balls on their wrists and say, yo,

[Frank Alvarez]

what time is it?

[Joe Sanigato]

And I'm like. And now I'm looking at their balls, and I'm like, why am I looking at balls?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude. Thank you for saying that. Because as. As a, you know, a film lover, a lover of film, a cinephile as people may call me as, I just got done watching all the Jackass content, like, all that stuff. Like, I look at it and remember, like, I see it now, and I'm just like, yeah, that's kind of crazy. That, like, you're pulling your boy's balls out to, like, so he could pee. Well, that is crazy. That is crazy. Wait, wait, what are you talking. There's one part where, like, Ryan Dunn pulls. Like, bam. Is wearing a fat suit, and he, like, pulls his stuff out so he could pee. I agree. That's crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, we didn't do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. I know we didn't do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know we didn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Charge your own balls. I know we didn't do that. But I'm saying, like, it was a thing for, like, teenage boys just be like, here are my balls.

[Joe Sanigato]

I just tricked you into looking at my balls.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you're gay for doing it for

[Joe Sanigato]

looking at my balls.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not me, the one that wants you to want you. And also, logic stands to reason that if you did the whole, like, got you to look at my balls thing, there were times where they didn't. And then you were just sitting there with your balls.

[Joe Sanigato]

Balls on your balls on your wrist. It's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you guys show each other your balls?

[Aunt Prisco]

I saw a lot of balls.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, he didn't show his. That would be like giving a free ticket to Disneyland. It's like, look at these balls.

[Aunt Prisco]

There was. There was one time where my friend was drunk and he Was peeing in the cold outside and he couldn't get the dick and balls back in his pants because he was just stumbling and his girlfriend came fully grabbed them all and put him back in his pants. And to me, I felt like that was love.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, you have a very flawed view of it, but also. What? What do you mean he was stumbling? Was he on ice skates?

[Aunt Prisco]

It was like winter and it was cold and he was just drunk and he couldn't get it back in his pants.

[Frank Alvarez]

So he was sober enough to pee Standing. Yeah, but he wasn't sober enough to just.

[Aunt Prisco]

The jeans caught under the balls. And once that happens, it's. What are you gonna do?

[Frank Alvarez]

Very, very simply.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. But there was someone there to help.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think he was just looking for an excuse to get his girlfriend to touch his.

[Aunt Prisco]

No, he didn't say anything. We were trying. We were all like, please put it away, like. And he just couldn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, he was just standing around with his whole thing. He was stumbling and he was like, I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't figure it out.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's so confusing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep, that sounds. That sounds a little fishy.

[Aunt Prisco]

I mean, but yeah, I saw it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Balls was a big part of, like your childhood, growing up with your boys. Disgusting. It is gross. But like, there's like, there's a certain dynamic that like, large male friend groups have that, like, to the outside world. And once you say it, like out loud when you're older, it's like, what the fuck? Yeah, but like, that's what it was.

[Joe Sanigato]

What a time.

[Frank Alvarez]

What a time to be alive.

[Joe Sanigato]

What a time. Honestly. Insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then Joey would show his balls and ask people to sit and rotate on them.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, sit on my balls. Have you ever accidentally sat on your balls? Dude, I sat on my ball. I have only sat on my balls like twice in my life.

[Frank Alvarez]

So much, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Cuz I. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Big balls over there. You. I'm not even going to ask you. You probably sit on right now.

[Aunt Prisco]

It hurts.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I sat on my balls one time. It must have been just humid out and they were like, you know, your balls are like, yo, we're getting down here.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, just like there are good and bad hair days. You got good and bad dick. Dick and bald days.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I mean, there. There have been. You know, there have been times where they're just a rowdy group and they just want to get out and chill a little bit.

[Joe Sanigato]

They're like off Leash.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're off leash. I think that's the exact way to put it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I sat on it and it just like, man, that just hurts so bad. It's like someone takes a thumb and, like, puts it right into a bruise.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you remember. Do you remember the thing that people would do where they would kick their leg out and clap their balls against their thigh and it would be like, wait, what? You don't remember that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Kick their leg out?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, there was, like, a thing. My cousin used to do it. I gave a picture. Yeah, my cousin used to do it. And it was like he would, like, kick his leg out to the side like that. And like, I guess the.

[Joe Sanigato]

He was like a pendulum.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not a physicist.

[Joe Sanigato]

This guy's built like a grandfather clock.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he is. And it, like, would smack his balls against his thigh and it would, like, make up, like, a clapping noise.

[Joe Sanigato]

And he would do it all the time.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it was like a thing that. That he could do. I almost dropped his name, but I didn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Could you do it?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

Is it one of these things? Because I can't do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I can do that. But that's what it sounded like. But, like, not, like, repeatedly. But it would be like, yo,

[Aunt Prisco]

that feels disrespectful, yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude. And I remember. Just be like, that's pretty cool.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can you do that?

[Aunt Prisco]

I can't. I know what you're talking about. I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can do it with this hand. Not this hand.

[Aunt Prisco]

Can you show me?

[Frank Alvarez]

So you, like, limp your. Your. Your forefinger and you grab, you know. Do I grab hard?

[Aunt Prisco]

You too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sweet.

[Joe Sanigato]

It.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, you can actually. No, it's probably a softer. And then you just kind of.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't do it with this one.

[Aunt Prisco]

How can you not do it with.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Aunt Prisco]

Have you ever broken that finger?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I've jammed both my ring fingers. But the only reason. The only reason I learned how to do that was because I went to college with a bunch of kids that did dip, like.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, like chaw.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever. And. And I would make fun of them. And in making fun of them, I. I was. Learned how to do it. I was able to do it because they would have the. Like, I thought there was there, but, like, they have that, like, tin.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they would. Oh,

[Joe Sanigato]

You gotta do it. Altoids.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then they would just. No, because that rings around like the tobacco doesn't. And they would just be like, I just got. I'm ripping a fat gagger right now that's what they'd call it.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a tough sentence.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it would sit. Oh, God, it was so gross.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sit there and spit in a cup.

[Frank Alvarez]

They'd sit there with a cup and a paper towel crumbled at the bottom of it and they would.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I don't like that at all. I mean, to be fair, you spit into a cup too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sunflower seeds, baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Better than. I'm not. Also not saying it is better. It's not health wise. Yes. But also like they're just spitting spit. Like my, my spitting sunflower seeds is just the shell. Like there's a little bit of moisture on there. Do you ever pack lips? I did not know fat chaws.

[Aunt Prisco]

No, but cheek me, chaw me. It's hard to sound cool calling them gaggers.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Especially in like 2012 where you know

[Joe Sanigato]

what I could use right now? The gagger.

[Frank Alvarez]

I need a pack a lip. Just a giant FL. Chaw. Fat gagger.

[Joe Sanigato]

Isn't it like you swallow, you throw up.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can get very sick.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because you're swallowing like, just like flavored tobacco.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would make fun of people by naturally, I'd put tea bags in there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you? Yeah. You like it?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's kind of good.

[Joe Sanigato]

It probably has a similar effect.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can almost guarantee it doesn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Aunt Prisco]

Who was rolling around on the floor laughing that you had tea bags in your mouth? Like, who was.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was just to make fun of them.

[Joe Sanigato]

I also don't remember this.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was in college. It was when I was in college. It happened at another school of people you never met, you know? Oh, yeah, you know. Oh, your old girlfriend goes to another school. Yeah, yeah. No, but those. I remember those people, like those New England boys thought they were from Alabama and they were packing lips.

[Joe Sanigato]

Packing lips and sucking tits. That's college, baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

Maybe, I guess.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sucking boobs and showing your balls of dudes.

[Aunt Prisco]

Gaggers.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't write gaggers.

[Aunt Prisco]

I'm writing my notes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't write.

[Joe Sanigato]

Just. Just do it.

[Aunt Prisco]

Just.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what, on that note, we do have some sponsors, the first one being Squarespace. So Squarespace is to be a platform where you're going to build your website. Okay. If you have content that you create or you have, you know, you have a E commerce business or something like that. Something you're selling, a service, you're providing. Your website is very important. That's where people are going to go. It's your first impression. So if you don't have a good website, then people are going to be kind of deterred, they're going to say, is this for real or not or whatever. So it's important to have a good looking website and Squarespace is going to help you build that. Not only build it with their amazing templates, but they're going to help you run the website. They have a bunch of tools that are going to help you optimize your traffic and let you know what to do to get more people to come to your site and also let you know where the traffic's coming from so you can allocate marketing dollars in certain areas, things like that. So it's very helpful. Anytime that we create a landing page page, we use Squarespace. So right now you can too. You can go to squarespace.com basement, the offer code BASEMENT to save 10 off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so that is squarespace.com basement and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement to save 10 off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay? And we also have hello fresh. Hello fresh. Nothing hits like home cooking, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. And hellofresh is going to put you back in the kitchen, stop ordering all the time because there's all these delivery fees and all these things and it's so expensive. But hellofresh is awesome because they bring a bunch of ingredients to your home so that you can make cooking a lot of fun. And you can choose from more than 35 high protein recipes each week, including Mediterranean, you know, Mediterranean diet or a low calorie diet or things like that. Yeah, but there's a bunch of stuff, there's a lot of high quality ingredients as well. So now you can have recipes that look good and taste good and they are good ingredients. And right now you can go to hellofresh.com basement10fm to get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife. A $145 value on your third box. The offer is valid by supplies. Last free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only varies by plan. But go get yourself some hellofresh. Go check out their website with all their recipes. You pick them, you get the ingredients. It's lovely. And the, and the code is hellofresh.com Basement 10fm all right, enjoy.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what else you can enjoy while you're making these incredible meals? Throw on some basement yard in the background. Where can you do that? You can do it over at patreon.patreon.com the basement yard. Someone just edit a bunch of like, like Confetti cannons or fireworks around my head right now. Watch this. Pretty cool, right? Patreon.com the Basementyard is where you can continue to support us. Thank you guys for getting us to an unbelievable Patreon account, getting us to over 42, 000 page subscribers. Thank you guys so much. And if you're not there or you dropped out a little bit or you want to come back in, go over to patreon.com the basementyard take a look at those tiers. You get that first tier, you sign up for these weekly episodes one week in advance. Then that second tier, you get those weekly episodes a week in advance. And guess what? You're getting spanked in the butt by an exclusive episode every single Friday morning. So you could start and end your week with us with the Basement Boys. That's nice, right? You like us, right, dad? So go check it out. Patreon.com thebasementyard and if you want to do so and save yourself a little bit of extra cash while you're doing it, go to a web browser, okay? Beep, beep, beep, bop, beep, beep, beep, beep. And you type in patreon.com the basement yard into the web browser URL part of that page. I don't remember the anatomies of a webpage, but if you type it in there instead of using the app, you'll be able to save yourself some extra money. Okay? So. Patreon.com thebasementyard thank you, guys, seriously, for all the love and all the support. We love you. We thank you. We're ready to give you more of us in a good way.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think we're ready to give you more of us.

[Frank Alvarez]

More. More content.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's kind of like when you. You're like, losing your virginity. It's like, you know, I think I'm ready to give you more of me. I don't know if that's my line. I'm saying that's not my line.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whose line is it? Oh, like, anyway, in the heterosexual sexual encounter, yes. It's the female one who would be

[Joe Sanigato]

like, you know what?

[Aunt Prisco]

Sometimes hearing flirting, even though you see it's working is a little tough to hear from the outside.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hearing flirting is tough.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's tough. I don't admire, like, not admire. I do admire. I don't like. I can't imagine people that have to, like, write romantic movies because, like, there's, like, the intimacy that you have to like. Things that you say or do might not translate well to, like, the written Word. Does that make sense? I get, like, how you're saying, like, I'm ready to give you more of me. Like, if you heard that, you might be, like, sick.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, if I'm in the moment, you could say, whatever. Yeah. Not whatever. I mean, I don't know why I'm asking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I'm gonna try.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, bro, you said that like you're about to test me.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

How about this?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I don't know. But do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have you ever been out at a

[Joe Sanigato]

restaurant or a bar and you. You can hear that someone's on a first date.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you're kind of like, I don't even. Like, you're. I'm sitting across from you, but I don't even care I'm listening to this.

[Aunt Prisco]

Or I. And I love playing the game of, oh, that worked. Oh, that didn't. I love that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Is this going well or not going well?

[Frank Alvarez]

100%. I become like a relationship guru, witnessing another person on a first date and just be like, oh, look at the body language.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah. You know, she's not into it.

[Frank Alvarez]

She's not into it. Oh, ordered the lobster.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, maybe she's back. It's like, who's going to pay? I'm never around for the check, but I do like listening to conversations.

[Frank Alvarez]

I hate going to a restaurant.

[Joe Sanigato]

While I kind of love it and hate it, but if I go to a restaurant and they put people right here, like, when it's very close, I feel like now I got to whisper my conversation.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, like, I hate that.

[Frank Alvarez]

And there's also a weird part of me that, like, feels. Feels like you need to acknowledge the people that are sitting next to you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know they're like, in your view,

[Frank Alvarez]

because, like, fuck in view, but, like, they're basically within arm, you know, reach.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Our wenises are touching.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a weenie touch.

[Aunt Prisco]

You feel like. I feel like you're a start of, like, oh, that looks good. Like, that's how you would start that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have. I have done that and just been like, oh, my. You see what they got? You know, Like, I would never do like that right there. So just.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, just be like, can I just.

[Frank Alvarez]

What I. You know what we should do? I definitely scope out the food that's

[Joe Sanigato]

arriving at table to be like, oh, that's the potatoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be honest with you. If I. I'm not even just a visual scoper of food. If I hear food come out sizzling, I'm like, what was that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I know It's a gimmick. Like, they cook it on the thing and then they just put it on a wooden tray and then they send it out. But, like, the sizzle adds a lot to me. So if someone's sitting next to me and I see sizzle on the table, I'm kind of in. Or if you go to a restaurant

[Joe Sanigato]

and it's like they make something next to your table, I'm like, I want the show. Give me the show.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you want to pay for the. The I want to show. Show up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Make the thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like tableside guac?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, something like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here's the thing that is tough about that, though. Every time I've gotten tableside guac, it's done by someone that hates doing it. So, like, they're just like.

[Joe Sanigato]

So you turn into like a construction work.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, smile. Yeah, smile for me. Give me a smile. This would be better if you shake your hips while you did it. Sweetheart, I'm giving you a compliment. I'm saying you're pretty. Oh, what, so now I can't tell you to look happy. It's just like, they, like, I. I know what you're saying. The theory of, like, tableside food prepared for you is nice, but they do it with such a puss on their face that, like, it's not even worth it for me. Now I don't even want this.

[Joe Sanigato]

I also just feel so self conscious about having conversations. Like, if I'm out with Nicole and we're talking about something, especially if it's like, meaningful is not the right word, but, like, something that I wouldn't want random people to hear that they're right there. It's kind of like, no, I'm a tongue like this and I gotta like,

[Frank Alvarez]

yeah, you know, Cuz it's weird you're right here gonna listen to my shit. Dude, I can name, like, definitely. There have been, like, conversations people are trying to spark, and I'm just like, not here. And I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. Like, it is, like, more difficult now that, like, people recognize us when we go places. So, like, I don't want something I'm saying to be taken out of context. Yeah, you know what I mean? That actually happened to me once where someone thought I was listening to them. What? I told you this, did you? I won't say who it was or where it was, what it was about, because I don't want to expose anyone or anything, but I was at our old job at the navy yard. Oh, our old Job at Target. Yeah, we were at the old office and I was sitting there and there was a celebrity that came by and.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, right.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I didn't hear any of their conversation, but they were like, they were there. I was here. And then midway through, like, I. Like, you said, like, hey, by the way, I love it. Big fan. Keep going. Congrats on the success. And then I kept eating my lunch. And then another, like, 15 minutes went by and they said, like, hey, if you had heard me say anything, you know, please don't. Like, I don't know if you're press. And I was like, oh, I didn't hear anything. Don't. Don't worry about it. But, like, even if I did, I wouldn't say anything.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I mean, I guess you

[Joe Sanigato]

gotta worry if you're like an actual celebrity to people being like, I heard so and so saying this about blah, blah, blah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, there's a whole Perez Hilton and TMZ and Page Six. Like, that's their whole thing is like gossip columns. Right.

[Joe Sanigato]

Meanwhile, I mean, I'm at dinner, like,

[Frank Alvarez]

all I want to do is talk some and eat the branzino. That's why I can't do that, because you're right here. That's why. I gotta say, the times that I've been to dinners, whether it be like little pizzerias where, like, they're like, we

[Joe Sanigato]

got the room in the back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Unbelievable. Because you get the experience of being in a restaurant and you get a little bit of privacy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Or like being against the wall. Because it's like, now we could use the wall. I gotta tell you a secret. Against the wall.

[Frank Alvarez]

My dad was that guy. My dad was the guy that any restaurant we went into, he asked for the table all the way in the back corner, and he wanted to sit where he could see everything. And I was like, who are you?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Jason Bourne.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're going to take everyone out, are you, dad. You're an overweight Colombian that has no fucking working knees. You're fine. I just like to see him lay land.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you. So let me ask you guys, when you go to a restaurant, right, with your counterpart, and it's a booth chair, what are we doing?

[Aunt Prisco]

You want the honest answer?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah,

[Aunt Prisco]

I want the booth. You're not supposed to have the booth. I want the booth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why do you want the booth?

[Aunt Prisco]

It's just comfortable for your butt. Yeah, it's just more comfortable. And also, I like Frankie's dad. I like looking out. Okay. But if there's a bunch of people in a row, and all the guys are on one side and all the girls are on one side. I'm not going to be the difference.

[Frank Alvarez]

1.

[Joe Sanigato]

Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

So here's the thing. I'm. I'm only gonna take the booth. Yes. I'm gonna offer it first to Becca or whoever I'm having dinner with. But if there's more than one person in the booth where, like, if I have to get out, they have to get out, I'm not doing that. I'm taking the chair. Because then you gotta bounce.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get out of a booth.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's nothing worse than this.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, so humbling to just be like, I got guys gotta use the bathroom.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, you gotta bounce out.

[Frank Alvarez]

It sucks.

[Joe Sanigato]

And I'm, like, shifting my butt. Like, I'm like, what am I doing now?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be honest, as a grown man, I am more inclined to go under the table than I am to wiggle my ass through a fucking booth.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank, if you're. Let me give you some advice. If you're at a restaurant and you go under the table, you better be three years old.

[Frank Alvarez]

You cannot be the age you are. And going underneath the table,

[Joe Sanigato]

can you imagine Frank being like, I gotta go to the bathroom.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sliding other. And then crawling on the ground through my legs? I'm telling you right now, if Tim Robinson watches this show, that's a. We just gave you one, buddy. That's a layup and a half. It's like, no, no, no, don't get up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't get up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just go under the table. And they, like, you, like, accidentally hit someone's feet and stuff like that. I know I said I'm more inclined to do that, but I'm not going to.

[Aunt Prisco]

It feels like option one for you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll be honest with you. It's option two, which is a problem. I always do the.

[Joe Sanigato]

The booth because I feel like that. Well, I don't get in the booth. I'm saying I offer up the booth because I. I feel like the chair. You're, like, in the way of traffic. So I don't want it. Like, you don't get hit in the head with a tray or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd rather do that because then if I get hit in the head with a tray or something, I'm getting a free meal, a free drink or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

Spill a coffee.

[Aunt Prisco]

I also don't. I also don't. I don't know how this is gonna sound, but I feel like the ability to signal a waiter and stuff, doing it from all of them behind you. Tougher. The other person, never good at it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, how do you signal a waiter? Be really honest.

[Aunt Prisco]

Only when they're in.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying when, how, just.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, just fingers.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. I thought you were gonna be like, no, no snappings. If you had snapped at a waiter, you were fired on the spot. And I think I could say snapping,

[Joe Sanigato]

said, hey, that's crazy. Oh, my God. I could never.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. I just watched Marty supreme and he does that at one point in the

[Joe Sanigato]

movie, snaps at a waiter.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was just like, oh, my God. You guys see it?

[Joe Sanigato]

You know what I did one time by accident?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who cares?

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, what? Wait, answer.

[Aunt Prisco]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Move.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Have I seen it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cool.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know what I did by accident. That's really bad. This. This could be. I don't know if it's worse, but it's up there. I came out of the elevator in my building and I was whistling. And then, like, I was like getting. As I was whistling, I was also getting the attention of my doorman because I was checking to see if we had packages. And I was. And then I. When I got the packages, I was like, oh, my God, does he think that I just whistled at him to be like, hey,

[Frank Alvarez]

packages, that's bad.

[Aunt Prisco]

What was the whistle? You got to give us the whistle. Do you remember?

[Joe Sanigato]

I. No, I mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, does anyone remember a whistle? I do. Thank you. Teed me up.

[Joe Sanigato]

You remember a whistle?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So when I was an ra, I used to have to do rounds of the building that I was working in. And I would go in the one building in particular. I'd go into the suites, which is like people's living quarters, basically. And I would always whistle because it had been stuck in my head for some reason. And I loved it. The whistle from Kill Bill. And I would do that. And then. But like, when there's a group of like 18 year old girls watching TV on the couch and you're whistling, walking through, it's like, what the. So I learned very quickly to stop.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. It's like, also, you just look like a hardo being like, no, mind me. I'm just doing the rounds.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that was my job.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know that was my job.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, whatever.

[Joe Sanigato]

What were you looking for? That make sure they weren't doing drugs or.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it's just like you're supposed to do rounds in the building. You're supposed to, like, check the emergency exits. You're supposed to make sure. Yeah. You don't hear anyone playing beer pong. Or like, you know, smoking a, a doobie in their room smoking a fed dude smoking a marijuana cigarette.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

You know, I have something for you if you want a surprise quick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh yeah, we found a picture of your.

[Joe Sanigato]

Of your fridge.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah. So this woman went viral because of what her fridge looked like on the first date.

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that's a woman's fridge.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah, that's a woman's fridge.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is interesting now. Cuz that looks like a man's fridge. I'll be honest.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on.

[Aunt Prisco]

Man takes photo of woman's fridge on the first date and it's going viral.

[Joe Sanigato]

Be honest. You walk into a woman's house on the first date, you open up the fridge being and she's like, I get you a glass of water. You're standing right there. You peer in and you see 500 hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean there's there. I obviously have several questions.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I'm not upset about it.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's. There's two different types of milks if I'm not mistaken.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is that? Yeah, it looks like one is like a creamer, one is like almond milk and the one's a skim. Oh, if I see skim in anyone's fridge, I'm never again am I talking to you.

[Joe Sanigato]

I knew you were going to bring that up. There is a whipped cream though, to be fair.

[Frank Alvarez]

There is a whipped cream. It looks like there's two things of whether that's sour cream or cottage cheese.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, maybe cottage cheese. This is a disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm pumped about that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Disgusting for one because it's not very balanced. It's just all processed meat. Also, unless this is the 4th of July, this is a garage.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a garage fridge. That's a garage fridge. Or you're, or you're doing like a fundraiser where it's like cookout for the fire department down on Main street and it's like come support the local boys in and girls in red by having a dog for a dollar.

[Aunt Prisco]

Initial scan and I can only see the front here. That's 34 packs of hot dogs. And if there's more hot dogs back there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you know there is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, we can only go by what we see. I mean, Schrodinger's cat, If we're going 34 times 8. So what's 30 times 8? Oh, I didn't know. 240.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

4 times 8 is 32. So you got it. 72. I get that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right, sure. In what planet? Unless you're trying to feed a wedding. Why would you have that and those are also.

[Frank Alvarez]

It looks like they're ballpark frank. Those are thick, Bass.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, those are thick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are my dad's fingers. Those are your dad's fingers. I'm glad he went with fingers. Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Frankie. Frankie. First date's going well. You come home, you see this fridge? Do you want a hot dog?

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's act this out. You be the. You be the fridge, like, person.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, what would you have me do?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm me. Hey, I'm a little thirsty. First of all, we're going back to someone's place for first date. Game over anyway.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I ain't thirsty.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, I'm thirsty. I'll put up with the thirst. I'm thirsty, but just not for whatever's in that fridge. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

For intercourse.

[Frank Alvarez]

For sex. So I want the lady fridge.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

All right. There's a lot of balls in this. For a weekly.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Demoni tease, right? All right.

[Joe Sanigato]

Is that the French way of saying that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, I'm a little thirsty. Do you have something I can drink? Yeah. Beer or something? I'm fine. Whatever you got. I'm easy.

[Joe Sanigato]

I might have a beer. Let me see.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow. What? Why do you have so many hot dogs?

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I love hot dogs. I just, like. You clearly have an abundance of them. What's going on here? That's a lot. I mean, you're right. A lot is subjective.

[Joe Sanigato]

I have a lot of. Yeah, I mean, I like hot dogs. Do you want a hot dog?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, how. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. How do you like. You want me to boil water or you want me to microwave it?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll take it right out of the package. I'm okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're gonna eat it raw?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I'm raw.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you okay?

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Aunt Prisco]

It was getting.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was believing it.

[Aunt Prisco]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you eat hot dogs out of the package? No. Could I? Yes. Will I probably have you? Maybe. You bastard. I might have.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't with confidence say I haven't. I definitely have eaten frozen, like, pizza pockets before, though.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frozen?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like, out of the thing. Like, they're just. They're just frozen. I was drunk.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's pizza pockets?

[Frank Alvarez]

Pizza pocket.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a Hot Pocket. Pizza rolls.

[Aunt Prisco]

You ate frozen?

[Frank Alvarez]

I was.

[Joe Sanigato]

Didn't that hurt your teeth?

[Frank Alvarez]

Your little teeth didn't feel good. Don't. Don't. No, no, no. Don't do that. Back to the hot dogs.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say this. I will immediately worry about this person's cardio. Health and their. Their cholesterol. I'm worried about their asshole. I mean, I'm not gonna jump to being worried about someone's asshole.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Worried about the asshole on the first day.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, I'm worried about your fucking asshole.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, Marisa, I can't help but notice all the hot dogs. I'm worried about your asshole. Really? Just worried about your asshole.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I love. I love hot dogs. No one is a bigger hot dog fan than me. I'm just really worried about, like, what could be going on with your right now.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, sorry it's so late. I just. I've been up all night thinking about your asshole and just how it could be in bad shape.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Hey, that was a fun date. Let's do it again. Sometimes. Is your asshole okay? So many ways to go about that. I don't hate this.

[Aunt Prisco]

As soon as I open the fridge, I'd have to. You explain this.

[Joe Sanigato]

This.

[Aunt Prisco]

You have to explain this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Well, I would take out that middle pack, like the first. The. The ones in the middle, the two on top. I'd pull them out and be like, how far does this go?

[Aunt Prisco]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I. I just. I would be more impressed at the level of, like, Tetris, like, packaging that this person clearly went through in order to make this all fit. Because this, this took. Taking stuff out, putting it back in in order to make it all fit.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And that looks like it's like the. Is that the plastic is still on those bottom parts of the fridge. So, like, they might have. They might have gotten this fridge just to hold the hot dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it's a brand new fridge. My last one couldn't hold all the doggies.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's my hot dog fridge out there. I kind of love that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm hoping this is a.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a garage fridge, but you wouldn't

[Joe Sanigato]

have creamer in that classic.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great point. You wouldn't have a half thing of skim milk.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're going out to the garage to drink some milk.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can you imagine? This does have classic. Like, we're having a barbecue.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you have a garage fridge?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's got a new one, actually.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's in there? Like meats and shit? It looks like.

[Frank Alvarez]

It looks like this. No, I'll be honest with you. Right now it's mostly beer.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because, like, we had people over and, like, whatever alcohol doesn't get drank, we just put it back in there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

And then the freezer is most, if not all meat and frozen vegetables.

[Joe Sanigato]

Nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

And if we get like a Costco order of like almond milk or something. We'll put one in the regular fridge and then the rest will go back in there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Is it a regular fridge or a dead body fridge?

[Frank Alvarez]

Regular fridge. I don't want. I don't like chest. I don't like the chest freezer or chest fridge or anything like that. Because as someone that had them, I think you have a chest freezer, like the bottom part of your freezer. Right?

[Joe Sanigato]

My actual fridge.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. You put stuff in there and then put stuff on top of it and forget about the stuff on the bottom and it's gone forever.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'll never, ever, ever experience it ever again.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Ever.

[Aunt Prisco]

You ever play kill the garage fridge when you were kids? Younger?

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Kill the garage fridge.

[Aunt Prisco]

Like if your friend had a fridge in the garage filled with drinks. You ever play kill the fridge?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like just drink it all.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I've never.

[Frank Alvarez]

But that does sound like a game we would have played.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like I was like the only person who had a garage.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, Josh had one.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, Josh had a garage.

[Frank Alvarez]

Josh had one, I think. Who else?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's not a lot of people had garages.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we had an alleyway and an abandoned van that we would go drinking.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, we used to live in Frank's van for an afternoon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, it was your van.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was our van that we left in the backyard. It was abandoned and we would just go in there and drink.

[Aunt Prisco]

What is that? What is. If it's your van, what is a. What is abandoned? I was picturing something on the street.

[Joe Sanigato]

How could you abandon something that is

[Frank Alvarez]

yours because you don't use it.

[Aunt Prisco]

Feels like neglect more than abandon.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's the difference between neglect and abandon? I guess abandoned is like you drop it and then leave it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think that. Yeah, you don't think that you could abandon something like in your own home, you can. You can neglect it. Abandoning is like driving out to the country and leaving it and bouncing.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're probably right.

[Aunt Prisco]

But like, I was picturing a van.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where did you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Where did you guys drink when you were younger?

[Aunt Prisco]

One of our friend's house.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, wow. We all had a friend's house.

[Joe Sanigato]

We would hit the park a lot, but park.

[Frank Alvarez]

But then once one of our friends, like, we realized we can just go and drink without any worry whatsoever at one of our friends houses, we would. Yeah, I mean, there was also someone's house here that was kind of also a party house at times.

[Joe Sanigato]

Me too, for certain things.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your basement Super Bowl. Super Bowl? I'm saying, like, younger than that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah, like your basement Super Bowl.

[Frank Alvarez]

What? You are, like, super bowl was more in, like, college years. But, like, damn.

[Joe Sanigato]

What was the last time you had a keg?

[Frank Alvarez]

My God, I don't know. I'd like to do a keg stand.

[Joe Sanigato]

Wait, we did a keg for your birthday, didn't we? Or someone's birthday at your house. Am I making that up?

[Frank Alvarez]

Not my house. I think Danny had one because they had, like, people over for a party.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bro, I swore you had a keg.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know why I remember?

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

My Danny. Danny and my sister had one because my dad. They set the keg up and everything. And my dad just showed up and he goes, look at this. And he just poured salt all over the ice. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, makes it colder.

[Joe Sanigato]

There he goes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which I think that's true. It is. But, like, the fact that my dad was just like, watch this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, you're an idiot, dad.

[Aunt Prisco]

We were freshmen going to, like, a senior party, and we got there early. Classic. And the guy who was running it said, you know how to tap a keg? And I went, yeah. And he handed me the stuff, walked over to the keg, and I looked at everybody else and went, how do we do this?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

The most, like, the worst, like, getting drunk on a keg moment I've ever, ever had was at Pete's graduation party. That's. I think, like, it was like, keg stands. And then I. I got down, and then his brother handed me, like, Jack Daniel's honey. And I was like, get this. And it was also, like, they had, like, kegs of, like, lion's head.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, heavy. Because Pete and his brother, like, love, like, craft beer and stuff like that. Yeah. So they had, like, a craft beer. It was, like, a mini keg, like an eighth or something like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it ruined my day.

[Joe Sanigato]

I hate keg stands, man.

[Frank Alvarez]

I kind of don't hate them. You've got them upside down.

[Joe Sanigato]

What are we doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

I just think it's funny that, like, you can drink that way.

[Joe Sanigato]

I can. I'm not really good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can't do a keg stand. I mean, I can.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's just not very good. Especially if it's, like, a new keg and this thing's blowing at me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I also just like the feeling of, like, everyone's putting their mouths on this keg, like, tap thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, you know, not something I ever thought about.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, because we were immortal.

[Joe Sanigato]

We were a child we were.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were. Child friend.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, child friend.

[Aunt Prisco]

I don't know about. You went away to school, right? But I. I didn't go away, but we used to go to Binghamton parties. Like, and, dude, there were frat parties where it was just a garbage can. Yes, Just a garbage can with drinks. And I went, I'm not drinking this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I went, wait, what do you mean?

[Aunt Prisco]

Like, the. The frat parties, they would set up just garbage cans of drinks in it,

[Joe Sanigato]

and that's how you like closed drinks.

[Aunt Prisco]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

What do you. What do you mean, no?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it was literally like you'd go in like a, like, 48 or 125 gallon garbage can.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And they would put a garbage bag in it and they would pour ice in it, and then the drinks, like, open. So it was just like a punch bowl. But a garbage can. That's crazy. Yeah. I've been to a couple.

[Aunt Prisco]

You went to the fancy ones with bags.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yours was just in a raw garbage can.

[Aunt Prisco]

Some of them were. And I wasn't drinking out of that, but everyone did.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was a thing. It was a thing. It was like. And they'd call it Jungle Juice because they would just get everything they could get their hands on and just put it in a tub. Oh.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I remember that. Like a hotel room.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. That's disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking atrocious sometimes. But I guess science allows it dictates

[Joe Sanigato]

that, like, alcohol kills the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Kills the bacteria. So, like, we're saying if you're sick,

[Joe Sanigato]

like, a little bit, and you, like, take a shot of whiskey or something, like, is that doing something? I should have asked fucking Dr. Mike that

[Frank Alvarez]

he's not here.

[Aunt Prisco]

The next best.

[Frank Alvarez]

And you're sitting in your seat. The next best thing, huh?

[Joe Sanigato]

The next big.

[Frank Alvarez]

The next best thing is here. I would imagine that it just, like, doesn't do anything great. Like, it just, like, if anything, it probably makes it worse because alcohol is a blood thinner. So, like, if you have, like a runny nose or something, it's going to just make it worse.

[Joe Sanigato]

Just a little shot.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm not anything that I like when I drink, like, ginger ale, I've convinced myself that the bubbles kill. If I have a sore throat. I know it's not true.

[Aunt Prisco]

My dad said taking a shot clears the sinuses.

[Joe Sanigato]

That may be true.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that is true.

[Aunt Prisco]

He had a lot of colds.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I used to do?

[Joe Sanigato]

Not used to do. I did this, like, twice. A couple times I would take, like, two shots and then go out in the cold. Because I thought it would warm me up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it does. It like raises it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, especially me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm Irish.

[Joe Sanigato]

My face gets red.

[Frank Alvarez]

Doesn't it say, like, I. I do think that alcohol increases your heart rate. So, like, scientifically, you're there. I guess we go there. You're not wrong.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, man. I know it's gross, but like, nothing tasted better than putting just vodka in like a Snapple bottle. With Snapple.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it's gross, but like, it's so nostalgic, you know?

[Joe Sanigato]

It was a great drink one time. This was like eight years ago or nine years ago, something like that. And it snowed like crazy. And we built an igloo my front yard. And I took a bottle of Jameson and it was just me, my brother in law and Keith and we sat there and just drank out of the bottle in an igloo, dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's amazing. I don't know if I was telling you guys this story recently, but myself, Espo and our friend Pat would take a mat. Not a regular bottle of Jack the Magnum one that like, was like, Big Mama. The Big Mama. And we would kayak across the lake and we would. There was. I know. Don't do this. And there was a part of like where the sh. Like the shore was back here, but like trees hung over it. So there was like 25ft where you can just park your kayak and you could see clear. Like it was. It was beautiful. And we would sit there and just drink the bottle and then kayak back and we would be obliterated. Yeah, on the way back, we. We used to do all those like. Like buzz balls and like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've never had one of those. They look good though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Never had them.

[Aunt Prisco]

No, not good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You guys did the UTC challenge, right?

[Aunt Prisco]

We did the BBC challenge. We could do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

What? You did a BBC challenge?

[Frank Alvarez]

What are we talking about here? We did spin.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah, we did.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

[Aunt Prisco]

This is getting me excited for the 40.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you beat the challenge? Did you conquer the BBC?

[Aunt Prisco]

We did conquer the BBC. It didn't end well.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's going on over there? Did you have. Did you guys ever have the. The sour drinks? The suck ons?

[Joe Sanigato]

Huh?

[Frank Alvarez]

The suck ons. The sour one.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know what the suck on these.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't say it. I didn't say it. Did I say I definitely got him? I definitely got him so good. I feel like I didn't.

[Aunt Prisco]

Every time he says something, you gotta look at me.

[Frank Alvarez]

He got.

[Aunt Prisco]

He half Got. I'll give you. You gotta half got him. You gotta have to.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's two.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, you thought there was a drink called suck on Me.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're talking about BBC's. Like there's anything is possible. Oh God, it feels so.

[Aunt Prisco]

You're gonna have to, you're gonna have to do something about that.

[Joe Sanigato]

We're gonna bring down

[Frank Alvarez]

going right into the ads after you mentioned BBCs. Yeah, we have some more sponsors on the show.

[Joe Sanigato]

We have prize picks. Prize picks. Listen, it's a lot of fun. It's a simple, it's simple to play. So you know, all you have to do is pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. So when it comes to soccer or ufc, hockey, baseball, basketball, whatever it is, they will be projection. So you'll say, is Jalen Brunson going to have more or less than 18 and a half points? Something like that. And you do that two to six times and you can win a bunch of money. So you're just competing against the price. Prize picks, projections. It's a mouthful, but yeah. And they also have early payouts. So if a couple of them hit and then you're like, you know what, I'm just going to cash this out right now. You can do that with the early payouts. But you can join millions of users and sign up for America's number one sports pick app right now. Download the prize picks app today and use the code basement to get $50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That is code basement to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. All right, so go check it out. Like I said, very easy to understand. But yeah, prize picks and the code is basement. And then lastly here we have hims. HIMS offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work. Okay. They have serums, they have oral medication, they have chews and sprays, but they have doctor entrusted ingredients and they can stop further hair loss or regrow hair in as little as three to six months. So a lot of men deal with hair loss and their hair thinning and stuff like that. So this could be helpful for you if that is something that you're dealing with. So there's no hidden fees, no surprise costs and yeah, so go check it out. For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss and more, visit hims.combasement that is hims.combasement for your free online visit. Okay. Featured products include Compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restriction, restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finesse to ride. All right, that's hims.com basement people. So mad, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mad about what?

[Joe Sanigato]

That you did that.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's two.

[Aunt Prisco]

You upset him.

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Aunt Prisco]

You upset him.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm mad at you.

[Frank Alvarez]

You brought that into the world. That's two. And I gotta be honest, I. I think that I'll probably hang it up after I get you maybe one or two more times, but be on your toes. It's. It's. It's.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's gone.

[Frank Alvarez]

But. But also, to my defense, I set that up well because they suck ons.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's just the whole sense.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, there's like, blowjob shots. Remember those? Where it'd be like, you ever had a blowjob shot?

[Joe Sanigato]

How do you do those again?

[Aunt Prisco]

You want to demonstrate, Frankie?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I. I wouldn't be able. But it's like, they put, like, whipped cream. It's like Kahlua or whatever, and then whipped cream. Then you're supposed to, like, with your mouth, go over it and take it and put it down.

[Joe Sanigato]

I can't drink like that.

[Aunt Prisco]

Me neither. It's impressive that people do.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can you do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think.

[Joe Sanigato]

Can you drink with your mouth open?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I can, yeah. Because that's why I was so good at, like, when I go to, like, hibachi, like, sake. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

That's why I was so good at going to hibachi. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm serious. The guy would hit you with the. He'd hit me with the thing, and he. You know, they do the impression you were just doing it. Well, I mean, it's close. Yeah, but they would. And I would just keep going. You know, I'm not.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, you've already done it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not there. But, like, it was, like, a thing. And I would drink a lot of sake because I could. I could swallow.

[Joe Sanigato]

I can't do that.

[Aunt Prisco]

Can. Can you do the thing where. You know how you see some people take a beer and they just open their throat and it's gone?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, I gulp. I have to gulp.

[Aunt Prisco]

I don't understand how that works.

[Joe Sanigato]

Me neither.

[Aunt Prisco]

Well, Dr. Mike did tell us it was just a big straw, so I guess if you could figure out a way to open it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that if you. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Once you, like, have, like, complete control of your throat. You're doing pretty well for yourself. Like that dude, Bebo, remember him?

[Joe Sanigato]

Bevo?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Remember Bevo?

[Joe Sanigato]

The guy who would, like, take a

[Frank Alvarez]

bite of something, he'd go, like, let me taste this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he'd swallow a whole potato after a bite.

[Aunt Prisco]

It's just. Now I'm thinking, now I remember, like, there was something that he really struggled on. This is also pretty niche.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. Yeah, but.

[Aunt Prisco]

But it was just funny. It made me laugh.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's. It's certainly a skill.

[Joe Sanigato]

Have you guys seen Punch the Monkey? Do you know Punch?

[Frank Alvarez]

I've heard of. What is this?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a monkey.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, okay, why do people care?

[Joe Sanigato]

Because it was a monkey that was, like, abandoned. And then the zookeepers. To my knowledge, this is the story. The zookeepers gave the monkey a. Like a teddy bear, but it's, like, also a monkey. And he just carries it around. He, like, hugs it like he's in it. Look how cute.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, that's an ugly monkey.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frankie, be careful. It's a lot.

[Aunt Prisco]

A lot of punchies out there.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, people, like, strong, like, you want

[Joe Sanigato]

to love this monkey, dude.

[Aunt Prisco]

You wanna see what the homepage of Google looks like when you search them? Look at this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, it's a beloved monkey. And I love this monkey so much because, well, you just feel bad. Like, a lot of them. Other monkeys are, like, not nice to them, and they, like, push them and

[Frank Alvarez]

they're like, no, how do we know it's not for, like, a good reason? Like, what if this is a little punch? What if he's a bad guy monkey?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, he's just saying, what if he's,

[Frank Alvarez]

like, an antagonistic little prick?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, he's nice, Frank. He's sad. And he's dragging his fucking teddy bear around because.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, wait, these other monkeys are, like, bullying him?

[Joe Sanigato]

Kind of. I've been hearing stories that he's being more and more accepted.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's so much more going on in the world that we need to be paying attention to.

[Joe Sanigato]

I agree, I agree.

[Frank Alvarez]

But at a Japanese zoo, Lonely baby monkey.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who gave it the name Punch, by the way?

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a great question.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, that's another thing. Like, what if they're just like, go hang out with Punch and he's, like, actually hitting people?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no. People I don't like. Look, he drags it around. It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

I did see an article that they're coming out with a video game now. We're like. You can play as punch the monkey and, like, beat up other.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, come on.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Aunt Prisco]

Come on, Frankie. Come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

That doesn't. What? That doesn't make you want to cry. It's cute. Ish. But, like, I have kids.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're a heartless prick.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not a heartless. How am I heartless?

[Joe Sanigato]

Because that's cute.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you're heartless.

[Aunt Prisco]

I'd be nice just in case it turns into this situation.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great point. I'm not saying that. That's actually a really good point. I should read. I should recant all that.

[Aunt Prisco]

What if it turns into Planet of the Apes and now just edit all this out?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, we're keeping it in.

[Frank Alvarez]

So ask me again what I think about Punch the monkey.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, Come on. That's a pretty good picture. I like seeing monkeys.

[Joe Sanigato]

Remember this?

[Frank Alvarez]

I do. I do like that you're not a punchy Punch. I've always been as. As. Also someone that was outcasted by society.

[Joe Sanigato]

What the hell are you talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

Ridiculed because of their looks. Whatever you're being ridiculed for.

[Aunt Prisco]

You also carry around toys as a

[Frank Alvarez]

fellow person that loves to carry around something that brings them joy. I'm not heartless. You're heartless. If that was you, if this was your child, you'd rip that fucking stuffed animal from that poor monkey's hands and you'd say it's time to get rid of it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, you don't know me at all. All right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Really? Yeah. Because I had tears in my eyes the first time I saw tears in your eyes. Crying for what?

[Joe Sanigato]

Because it's sad. They're pushing him, and he's just sad and lonely. The lonely monkey.

[Frank Alvarez]

Look, I got a tear right there.

[Joe Sanigato]

You just licked your face. That's disgusting.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not that gross.

[Joe Sanigato]

Have you seen videos on Tick Tock of people, like, in Bali or something like that, and then they come back to their hotel room or their Airbnb, and there's just a monkey in there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I'd be hyped. Hype, brother.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'd be scared.

[Frank Alvarez]

But hype dangerous.

[Joe Sanigato]

If it was a big monkey, I'd be scared.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, even a monkey that size can do some damage, bro.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel like I would try to hug it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have learned through watching the show alone that smaller animals can still be very dangerous.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but me, too.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like. Yes, but, like. Like, for instance, there was an episode, a season of Alone, where they were like the Tasmanian Devil. Got to be careful. It's a little rat. No, apparently they're really dangerous.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's got the word devil in its name.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's just because of the screens.

[Aunt Prisco]

Can it also create tornadoes that suck me in?

[Joe Sanigato]

No. I wish.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd be so cool. That's Taz.

[Aunt Prisco]

Isn't that what you said?

[Frank Alvarez]

The Tasmanian Devil's an actual BBC over there. He's still. Yeah, he's. I don't. I don't feel that bad for this. This little monkey.

[Joe Sanigato]

I feel bad. I mean, I think that he's okay now, and he's got some friends with him, but he would try to hang out. The other monkeys have just. They're kind of ruthless. They're like, fuck out of here, Punch. No one cares about you, all right?

[Frank Alvarez]

So put your money where your mouth is. Fucking adopt Punch.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, they definitely don't allow that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not bring him in here?

[Joe Sanigato]

His mother fucking abandoned him. That's what the story.

[Frank Alvarez]

That sucks. His mom sucks. I will say that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, probably. Probably a bitch.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, jokes on us. Once we get the opportunity to, like, talk to animals and hear what they're saying.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, my.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm telling you, Punch did something bad, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

I really.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a good picture. Oh, my God. I'm going to explode. If that's even real. It's from Facebook. Chances are it's not real.

[Aunt Prisco]

It's a.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a good point, but it's fine.

[Aunt Prisco]

But you get the idea.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's just the idea. Oh, my God. Such a cute photo.

[Frank Alvarez]

You should get some Punch merch.

[Joe Sanigato]

I want to hug them.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, this is adorable.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, my God. Give me a break, Frank.

[Aunt Prisco]

Frankie said that he despises this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't say despise. I said, I just don't care.

[Joe Sanigato]

You said, Yeah. I mean, what camera is do animal.

[Frank Alvarez]

My kids are cuter. That's the thing is, like, I have a.

[Joe Sanigato]

Who's comparing them?

[Aunt Prisco]

Me.

[Frank Alvarez]

For what reason? I have a certain amount of love that I can give, and I'm choosing to not give it to this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Don't put a limit on your love.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I don't have a limit on my love, but I have a limit on where I'm putting my love.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a limit on your love.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, no, no. The amount of love that I have is limitless. Okay? Like that Bradley Cooper movie. But the amount of love that I have for this, I don't need to put my love in that. You know what I'm saying? Here's where my Love is distributed right now. My kids, my wife. Retro toys and video games. My friends.

[Joe Sanigato]

Minor league hats.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Hats in general.

[Joe Sanigato]

King crab legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

King crab fuck. Yeah. Absolutely.

[Joe Sanigato]

Desserts.

[Frank Alvarez]

It seems like you're taking an approach to this that is becoming mean. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You love.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. But I don't like. Correct. I don't like hearing it from you. Careful. Hot dogs. Having hot dogs tomorrow for dinner, by the way. Oh, am I excited.

[Joe Sanigato]

You gonna post some stupid shit. Suppose. Suppose a dumb dog. Like some stupid. You should, like, load it. Load that fucker.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, load it up.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, geared up and ready to go.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you against, like, putting, like, Mac and cheese on a dog or something like that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not against anything except for mustard. And even if you do mustard, just don't. Don't do it by me.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do it. Do a. Like some Mac and cheese. Maybe a little bacon crumble on that bit.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm not. I do have Mac and cheese and bacon in my fridge right now, so maybe I will.

[Joe Sanigato]

Just an idea. Suggestion.

[Frank Alvarez]

What if I got one? What if it's a. A hot dog and I cut it up into sections, and then in between the two sections, I put a mozzarella stick?

[Joe Sanigato]

Would it just be the ends of a hot dog? It would just be the knobs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then just eat a mozzarella stick.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Aunt Prisco]

What if you cut up equal parts hot dog mozzarella stick and alternate.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can't cut the mozzarella stick. Then you lose the pull.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's true. Oh, God.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a good point. Crazy. Yeah. These are problems. It's gonna be. It's gonna be a big, fat, filthy gagger. We could call it that.

[Joe Sanigato]

How many you think that you're gonna go? You know, Let me ask you a question.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I. I've. I did the responsible thing, and I only bought eight, so I'm. I'm.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank, you're not gonna eat eight. That's insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I won't, because, like, I'm sure Becca will have one. I'm sure Miles or one of the kids will have one or two.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right, like, but if you lived alone, you would. You'd eat eight. Frankie, eight hot dogs is outrageous.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're not gonna eat eight hot dogs. I did, like, ten in a weekend last year. You think that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but that's. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Eight in an evening where baseball's on.

[Aunt Prisco]

What game are you watching?

[Frank Alvarez]

Usa. Brazil.

[Aunt Prisco]

For every point the USA scores, have a dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

Called a run. It's called a run.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. This guy. For every. You know what I'LL do that. But I didn't get enough. So, like, I'd be captain. Just get more. I mean, if we're being realistic, I will have at least four. Yeah, realistically, yeah, I might have more.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right. So. So maybe it is a runs thing. Yeah, just do it. Not in the game, but by usa, which I mean, they can run it

[Frank Alvarez]

up against Brazil doesn't have a really great team.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

What do I do? Like, what do I do if they score 9?

[Aunt Prisco]

Buy more Hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frankie, you want me to stop?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, you got to max out.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I have to max out. I mean, again, I have to feed my family. Well, do you mean. Well, there's.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's mozzarella sticks.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, you said they were mozzarella sticks. There are. And bacon and Mac and cheese. You're fine.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, the Mac and cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

The game does start late, so I will push back dinner as far as I can.

[Joe Sanigato]

So this is what you do. You take the bun and you put Mac and cheese in it. And then we'll count that as a hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I can have a whole box. That's not good. Don't tell me to do that. Yo, you could eat a whole box of Velveeta Mac and cheese very easily.

[Joe Sanigato]

Without question.

[Frank Alvarez]

Without. With ease, brother.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think I used to do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, probably.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, I just would crush a whole box.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what's really good? If you chop up a chicken cutlet and throw it in there. Something to my eye.

[Aunt Prisco]

That's weird. Something in my eye at the exact same time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Whoa. What's going on?

[Aunt Prisco]

I think Joe spit.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, what the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, nice try. Nice try. That was good acting.

[Joe Sanigato]

Thank you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good

[Joe Sanigato]

Jesus.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, yeah, this monkey punch, I hope it finds a caretaker. Well, it has a caretaker, bro. What? What else do we got to do for this thing? It's in an enclosed space. It's kept safe. It gets fed for free. This thing is living on taxpayer money in Japan. You see where I'm going with that? It's more political commentary.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I don't even know if that's

[Frank Alvarez]

true, but obviously it's not.

[Joe Sanigato]

It has to be.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

What time's the game on?

[Frank Alvarez]

Eight o', clock, baby. You gotta watch it.

[Joe Sanigato]

What time do you usually have dinner? Oh, yeah. You had like, an early dinner.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we have earlier because the kids, like, 5:35ish. You know, that's launch. That's crazy.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's not lunch.

[Frank Alvarez]

You, the other day said that you went to dinner at 10pm and I

[Joe Sanigato]

was like, well, it Was just a tough reservation to get. So, like, that's all they had. I wouldn't opt to go at 10.

[Frank Alvarez]

How was it?

[Joe Sanigato]

It was good. I had a fried mackerel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I thought I was still on Mac and cheese, so I thought it was Mac roll.

[Joe Sanigato]

I had a mackerel. No, it was a fried mackerel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did it come out, like, fried? It looked like a whole fish, though.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, it was like a. But it was a healthy, like, square.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love when they come out like bronzino, Like a whole fish, and you can dig through it like you're like a bear.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I do that at places when I get the branzino. Sometimes they're like, oh, you want us to do it? And I was like, I'll just claw at it. But debone it. Yeah, but I'll claw at it. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Be a filthy little slut for it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I went through. I went to a place once, and they. They give you the cage. So you know how they cook it on a cage sometimes?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

They, like, put the. The fish in, like, this cage thing and they shut it and then they cook it and they, like, just turn it and they'll put it on a plate. They gave you a cage, really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And I was like, it's cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got the cage. I'm certain there are some places in Jersey that are, like, just like, shacks where you can show up and eat a bunch of seafood. I'm kind of starting to want to do that because I like the idea of going to, like, a little building on a dock and to be like, we just caught. What did we catch? Yeah, we just caught. We just caught monkfish. We just. We just caught tile fish.

[Joe Sanigato]

And it's got, like. It's got, like, barnacles on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Still got barnacles and sand on it and like that. And you eat it with your hands. No. You're not into that.

[Aunt Prisco]

Not one part of that sounds enjoyable.

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you have. Do you like seafood or.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I like.

[Aunt Prisco]

I like seafood.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was that?

[Aunt Prisco]

I don't know. Just in case. Now I'm on edge.

[Frank Alvarez]

Seafood dick.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, what do you think I'm gonna say?

[Frank Alvarez]

I, like, see through my nuts.

[Aunt Prisco]

I like shellfish. I don't really like seafood, but a tuna tartar is really good.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like. Wait, Shellfish food. So you like shellfish? So you like shellfish, but you don't like. So you don't like salmon, but you like shrimp?

[Aunt Prisco]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's weird. Usually it's the opposite.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Is it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, maybe I'm just an opposite today.

[Joe Sanigato]

What about lobster?

[Frank Alvarez]

You like lobster?

[Aunt Prisco]

Yep.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right, good. So here's what we're gonna do when the weather gets nicer.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, my God, I'm so excited.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's a place in Greenpoint.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good. Lobster rolls. And then we'll get a nice bottle of white wine to go with it.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, my God. That sounds. I'm writing that down.

[Joe Sanigato]

Write it down.

[Aunt Prisco]

I'm writing it down.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, like that. I've been there a couple times. It's fantastic. No, sounds lovely.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would be better if we could walk, Joe.

[Joe Sanigato]

Maybe we could. I actually have no idea how close it is.

[Aunt Prisco]

Joe.

[Joe Sanigato]

I love is a little further from my apartment.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love food.

[Aunt Prisco]

I feel like towards the end of every episode, we start talking about food and I get really hungry.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's.

[Joe Sanigato]

We're like a shoe in for the. Oh, yo. We can certainly walk. It's a 12 minute walk. Yeah, yeah, we gotta go.

[Frank Alvarez]

12 minutes, baby. That's. That's eight minutes. New York.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, excited to get a lobster roll. I could get there in five.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here's the thing, though, is that I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna have to eat three lobster rolls, and I'll be 85 in the hole. That's the only thing that's tough about lobster rolls is you. They're. They're this big.

[Joe Sanigato]

These are decently sized.

[Frank Alvarez]

And how much are they? 30 bucks?

[Joe Sanigato]

I have no idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're probably 30.

[Aunt Prisco]

Why are you ruining this experience?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just letting you know this is my issue with lobster rolls. They're delicious. They're great. They're done well. But for what you get and what you pay, Clear difference right there, baby.

[Aunt Prisco]

Warm or cold.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, they have a. They. They have an option.

[Frank Alvarez]

Couldn't care. I'll take them both ways.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hell, yeah, I'll take them both ways. I'll take them both fucking down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Make half of it hot, half of it cold.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, man. You want to know how much this fucking lobster roll is?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna bet. What's it come with? Is it just a lobster roll or does it come with, like, chips or fries?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it comes with fries. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, I'm gonna say $32.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. What do you say?

[Aunt Prisco]

I couldn't even begin. 28. 28 feels right.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, it's 38.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying. I'm gonna have to eat three of those suckers.

[Joe Sanigato]

You might not have to. There's other stuff, though. Spicy salmon company Card? No, this one's on you.

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, it's on you? Hell, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

On me.

[Joe Sanigato]

Or maybe I was looking at you.

[Aunt Prisco]

I saw where you were looking.

[Joe Sanigato]

I wasn't. I was looking at Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, I'll pay.

[Aunt Prisco]

We can go as friends.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll pay. No, no, I'll pay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, we have to go three times, then. Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Dude, that's.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, there's shishitos on the menu. Come on, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am a little slut for shishito peppers. Holy. Some blistered shishitos. God almighty.

[Joe Sanigato]

Patron peppers.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's that?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's basically the same thing, I think. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, they got some stuff here.

[Aunt Prisco]

It's like getting rounds at a bar, you know, Everyone takes a turn.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

They say that that actually encourages more binge drinking than anything else because it's like, well, everyone has to drink. So if there's seven people there, you have to have seven beers.

[Aunt Prisco]

I mean, I don't know who made that rule.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think if I'm buying.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no. Like, when I. When I learned about, like. Because I took a class in college about, like, drinking, like, bartending.

[Aunt Prisco]

How have you taken a class in college? About every topic we've ever said.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was my senior year, I took mixology class, which was.

[Joe Sanigato]

You get hammered, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

The greatest college course ever taken. And in the spring, we took History of Beer, which was just drinking beer, every single class and learning about a different type of beer. And we had field trips to breweries. Breweries, restaurants, bars.

[Aunt Prisco]

I take it back. That's cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's cool. But I forgot what I was trying to tell you. Oh, we learned about, like, binge drinking and, like, blah, blah, blah. And they say that, like, that, like, they teach people not to do that because it, like, encourages more binge drinking, not healthy alcohol consumption.

[Aunt Prisco]

Sounds like a bunch of nerds.

[Frank Alvarez]

Some people care about others about their brothers, about their sisters, about their siblings that may not be related to them.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, we're gonna get the most expensive lobster rolls this world has to offer one day. But it's got to be nice out because we got to sit outside.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Oh, and, like, a picnic table. Like a wooden picnic table.

[Joe Sanigato]

It is a wooden table.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love that place that we went to in Long Island City. Something. Basin.

[Joe Sanigato]

Annabelle Basin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Annabelle Basin. That place was good. Like, they had good bites.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. What did they. Oh, they have, like, bison burgers. That's what I usually get there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am in, baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

I watched a soccer game there once by accident. I didn't know there was a soccer game.

[Frank Alvarez]

World cup this summer, too.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

Outdoors. Lobster roll. On the water. On the water. Soccer.

[Joe Sanigato]

Soccer.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, I'm in. Are you in?

[Aunt Prisco]

I hope.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you one of those nerds that roots for Italy during the World cup or like.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, he is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Aunt Prisco]

If Italy's on, that's cool. But us, whichever one everyone's on, you know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did he have a Tutti jersey? That's what I said.

[Aunt Prisco]

Okay. No. Buffon. 2006 World World Cup.

[Joe Sanigato]

Buff on these nuts.

[Aunt Prisco]

I said. I said.

[Frank Alvarez]

He said it, though. Like, you can't. You can't piggyback off.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, it's fine. Piggyback these nuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'll get there. I want you to go home and just write as many of those as you can to try to get us.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, because I know that's what you did.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep. I can't even defend.

[Joe Sanigato]

He was in the car like you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, they didn't. Well, they might have seen that if it's on Patreon. Well, I'm riding a hot streak, baby. And it's so funny because I saw a tick tock that was just like. It was when I try to do the whole, like, Slobanese or something, you know, or whatever, and someone was just like, one day, I want him to get them once. And I was like, your wish will be your demand.

[Joe Sanigato]

The Yukon was bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yukon was great.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, no, I mean, like. Like, that was, like, completely.

[Aunt Prisco]

Getting both of us will be tough. Getting Joe seems pretty easy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you're so on guard. Yeah, you're so on guard. Whenever.

[Aunt Prisco]

All right, I'll lower my guard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joey said before, like, oh, I want to go to the store. And you're like, or seafood. Yeah, you're like, seafood.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not seeing your food. Food Dick.

[Aunt Prisco]

Well, usually I forget, but then once it happens, you know, I get guards, go back up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. You'll never get us again. That's for sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm gonna get got. Probably every attempt that you guys have,

[Frank Alvarez]

say that you will never, ever get us again.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm never expecting someone to be like, my, but my nuts. I'm like, all right, we should have a rule.

[Frank Alvarez]

We should write in a rule. You know how, like, he points at me, I get $10. I say, he gets $10 or something like that. We should have a rule that whoever gets got has to 100 bucks. 100 bucks.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, starting now.

[Aunt Prisco]

No, absolutely, I'll do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'll start.

[Aunt Prisco]

No, I can't. It'll I'll start. I can only do so many, or else you guys will stop talking to me.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

I'll make him perfect.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know about that.

[Aunt Prisco]

Yeah, don't, don't, don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

What are the rules here?

[Aunt Prisco]

Oh, we're making.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, I have to. Well, like, you say Yukon, and then I say I have to say Yukon.

[Aunt Prisco]

You definitely have to say it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You have to say it back. Like, what's Yukon?

[Joe Sanigato]

Or Yeah. Or just like, in a question, but

[Frank Alvarez]

like the imagine dragons one. We didn't say, like, imagine dragons.

[Aunt Prisco]

Watch the clip again, buddy.

[Joe Sanigato]

We did say imagine dragons.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did.

[Aunt Prisco]

I said, no way. Imagine dragons.

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

We both said imagine dragons. He was trying to get it out so bad. He was like.

[Aunt Prisco]

So I got a little excited.

[Frank Alvarez]

Imagine dragging these nuts across your face. Got him. Got them so good.

[Aunt Prisco]

Okay, so that's the rules. And every time someone does 100 bucks. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Right?

[Aunt Prisco]

Nit. Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

100 bucks. Which. Where are we at right now? How much money does he owe me?

[Joe Sanigato]

Do you actually have a counter over there?

[Aunt Prisco]

Joe has 12, and you have nine. You've been. You've been. You've been bitching it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Joe Sanigato]

12 is like, what that he. Oh, yep. Yeah.

[Aunt Prisco]

Got him.

[Frank Alvarez]

13. 13. Oh, he owes me 130. I owe 100.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't even understand the point thing. It's not. It's definitely not as bad as the bitch.

[Aunt Prisco]

Well, for some time, a couple bitches counted as two. Some of them were bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, what?

[Aunt Prisco]

Just a couple times.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, who's making these?

[Aunt Prisco]

Also, people in the ant colony keep going back and sending me different bitches. I missed. So I keep adding.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love how he says people in the ant colony. Yeah. Like, they are part of it now. That's. That's the basement yard lore.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you're the queen bee.

[Aunt Prisco]

Sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

With the fattest butt. Absolutely.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bees and ants are different.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know animals.

[Aunt Prisco]

This Queen ants.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know there are queen ants. But he called you queen bee.

[Joe Sanigato]

But they have the fat butts.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got huge asses, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

The queen. The queen ant.

[Frank Alvarez]

Shake your ass for us.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, my God. Queen ant and aunt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that's why the ant colony you.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

He just doesn't. He doesn't get it sometimes.

[Aunt Prisco]

It's okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

I can see your. Your brain turning right now about what you're trying to do a suck on my nuts.

[Aunt Prisco]

Definitely thinking.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you're, like, pensive. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just thinking, like, oh, I could get one in before the end of this episode. That's what I keep thinking, too. I'm like. It's like, I could get one, you know?

[Joe Sanigato]

All I keep thinking in my head is suck nuts. Like, I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna show you. I'm not gonna show my. My bare bottom here. You'll have to wait for that.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right. I guess that's all I thought you were going to say.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought he was going to get you.

[Aunt Prisco]

I thought you were going to say something.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, I wasn't. I wasn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I wasn't. God.

[Joe Sanigato]

Frank. Where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Find me the Frank Alvarez everywhere. We're. All of us are on guard now. We're, like, waiting for something to happen. I. I need something to drink. I need a cup of. Okay.

[Aunt Prisco]

This is the best.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, this is bad. We probably shouldn't do this Couple.

[Aunt Prisco]

A couple.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Frank Alvarez everywhere. Go check out patreon. Patreon.com the basement yard. You guys. Wild you went on Patreon. Thank you so much. Incredibly, incredibly gracious for that. So thank you. Patreon.com the Basementyard and the basement on all socials.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, we're gonna find you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't tell them.

[Aunt Prisco]

No, no, you can find me Aunt Prisco on Instagram.

[Joe Sanigato]

Him go follow me at Joe Sanigato. Go follow the show at the basement art. And that is all. See you guys next time.