#549 - Picking Your Nose Is Cool

Summary

The Basement Yard – Episode #549 – "Picking Your Nose Is Cool"

Release Date: April 6, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (with Ant)

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Joe, Frank, and Ant dig into humorous nostalgia and the peculiar joys of life’s little gross-out moments. The hosts reminisce about childhood, family traditions, old school food hacks, and ultimately defend the universal (but unsung) pleasure of picking your nose. Peppered with banter and friendly debates—ranging from favorite breads to heated discussions about brunch and the dangers of loose pool Band-Aids—the episode is an affectionate ode to gross rituals, kid logic, and the stamina of elementary school athletes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Portraits & Childhood Traditions

• Early Portrait Experiences:
  • The group discusses old family portraits, dressing up as kids, and whether the tradition continues as adults. Joe's upcoming family photo session for his mom's birthday comes up.
  • Frank: "Selfishly, I hope never [to stop]." (03:08)
• Generational Toughness:
  • Joe and Frank ponder the strength of their Irish Catholic grandmothers and how previous generations coped with hardship and emotion.
  • Frank: “They were numb, dude. They would go to school. They do cursive. And the teacher would beat the— out of you...” (04:50)

2. Bread, Weird Food Habits & Childhood Eating

• Favorite Breads:
  • Spiraling into a debate: naan versus pita, and the satisfaction of tearing Italian bread. Joe confesses he once thought "naan" was a gluten-free supplement (10:06).
• Pasta Sandwiches & Ketchup Buns:
  • Frank explains “pasta sandwiches”—spaghetti shoved into Italian bread—and Joe’s childhood habit of eating ketchup sandwiches.
  • Frank (on pasta sandwiches): "Dude, there's nothing better than just a slice of white bread... and you just—some fucking wet spaghetti." (07:57)
• School Lunch Stories:
  • Nostalgia for wiping plates with bread and dipping pita in ketchup, with some gentle roasting among friends (09:25).

3. Breakfast Hierarchy & Brunch Philosophy

• Pancake and Crepe Wars:
  • The hosts debate the best pancake style. Crepes are controversially “overrated.” Joe likes crispy pancake edges, Frank sticks to “classic”—but ultimately, waffles and French toast edge out pancakes for some.
  • Frank: "Crispy is the last thing I want my pancake to be described as. Just get a waffle.” (16:15)
• Brunch Debates:
  • Where does brunch begin and end? Is having a mimosa at 5am "brunch"? Heated debate ensues, with Joe arguing for brunch at any time with the right drink and Frank insisting on firm times.
  • Frank: “Breakfast ends at, like, 11... 11 to 12 is brunch. And then lunch is after that.” (20:08)
• St. Patrick’s Day Rituals:
  • Colorful stories about green beer, 8am tallboys, and childhood traditions.

4. Nostalgic Games & Athletic Girls

• Kickball and Line Soccer:
  • Reminiscing about high-stakes elementary school games, especially how some girls were legendary athletes.
  • Frank (on Lauren): “She could throw an Aroldis Chapman fastball, dude. She let that fly.” (53:40)
• Challenging gender stereotypes:
  • Frank hammers home how, growing up, more girls than boys dominated sports in their classes (61:01).
• Nukem and Bloody Dragons:
  • The gym game "Nukem" is fondly remembered, along with their team, the Bloody Dragons, who beat "the Unbeatables." (62:04)

5. Gross Kid Stuff (and Why It’s Awesome)

• Picking Your Nose:
  • The crux: full-throated defense of picking your nose and satisfaction in getting a good, long booger.
  • Frank: “I’m going to say this, okay? And I’m going to put this out there… I love picking my nose.” (42:59)
  • Joe: "Picking my nose is so fire." (43:02)
• Bloody Noses:
  • Finding pleasure in cleaning one out post-blood, and the sensation of removing paper towels after a nosebleed.
  • Joe: “When you get a bloody nose and it’s like crust on the outside and you just go like this... And like it looks like pepper. Yes, exactly. I’m pepper milling my nose.” (45:13)
• Pool Band-Aids:
  • The horror of finding loose Band-Aids in a pool, contended to be worse than finding a turd.
  • Frank: “I would honestly probably be more afraid of the band aid than the log of shit.” (78:27)
• Old Kid Rituals:
  • The joys of grime: dirt, worms, playing in the mud, and loving the dirt on your face (38:42).

6. Body Oddities & Childhood Injuries

• Haircuts, Lumpy Heads, Ace Bandages:
  • Hail to the Russian barbers named Eddie and the irrational kid logic behind always wrapping something in an Ace bandage.
• Gross Cuts & Casts:
  • Disgusting stories of cast stink, Band-Aids, and peeking at shriveled skin after wearing a bandage.
• Pain and Passing Out:
  • Moments where pain almost caused blackouts and the mortifying gym stories that still haunt adulthood.
  • Ant (on pain): “The closest I’ve come to passing out was because of pain... Like, oh, man, I think I’m going out. I fought back, but it scared me.” (86:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Frank (on bread): “Cutting your own bread is kind of cool... like when Aladdin ripped that bread.” (06:00)
• Joe (on picking noses): “Few things in this world I like more than that.” (43:40)
• Frank (defending booger picking): “Why in God’s name… has someone started this movement?... Picking your boogers is like, unsightly… It’s fire.” (43:04)
• Frank (on pancakes): “Just get a waffle. But it’s not the whole pancake. It’s just the edges, the middle—still a pancake.” (16:15)
• On fast girls in childhood:
  • Frank: "Jamie was basically Michael Jordan." (53:16)
  • Joe: "Najat was the queen, yo. She could cover ground out there, bro." (53:57)
• On pool dangers:
  • Joe: “If a band aid touched me, I’d be like, no.” (78:34)
  • Frank: “I’d probably be more afraid of the band aid than the log of shit.” (78:27)
• On sibling rivalries and injuries:
  • Joe: (on a thumb injury) “It was so jarring. My dad just was like, you’re fine, and pulled my thumb, and it went right back to place.” (83:09)
• Classic banter:
  • Frank (mascot jokes): “Dragons take out all those. Lions beat everybody, though. Who’s the Lions? Lie on your back and take these dicks.” [Frank pulling off a “gotcha” joke] (64:32)

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Additional Fun Bits & Timestamps

• Family portraits and generational toughness: (01:05–05:05)
• Bread debates, pasta sandwiches, and ketchup stories: (06:00–10:20)
• Naan supplement confusion: (10:00)
• Street food and fast bartending videos: (10:32–12:40)
• Crepe vs. pancake argument; breakfast/brunch boundaries: (14:25–21:00)
• Jello shot math & party stories: (24:40–32:02)
• Spring allergies and “grounding” in the dirt: (37:01–39:15)
• Kids’ sports legends; playground stories: (51:16–61:54)
• Picking your nose & boogers: (42:54–46:44)
• Blood, injuries, and gym fails: (83:09–88:21)
• Band-Aids in the pool vs. poop: (78:15–79:03)
• Hand-holding weirdness, double-jointed tricks: (81:55–82:41)
• Sissy, tummy, and adult vocabulary regression: (67:41–68:53)

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Episode Tone & Style

• Warm, irreverent, and nostalgic
• Gallows humor about gross-out, childhood injuries, and bodily functions
• Unfiltered, affectionate roasting between lifelong friends
• Constant threads of nostalgia: food, neighborhood games, embarrassing kid logic

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Summary

Episode #549 is a boisterous, retro-tinged trip through childhood and adolescence, fixated on those weird, gross, yet strangely comforting little rituals everyone pretends they didn’t love. From battling over bread types and breakfast foods to declaring the glory of nose-picking and recounting elementary school sports legends, Joe, Frank, and Ant prove that some gross pleasures and kid logic never die—and they're probably cooler than adults are willing to admit.

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For more crude comedy and suburban time travel, follow @TheBasementYard

Transcript

[Joe]

Spring just slid into your DMs.

[Frank]

Grab that boho look for that rooftop dinner. Those sandals that can keep up with you. And hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling, Ross.

[Joe]

Work your magic. Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. I'm here with Frank, who just told Ant he's a beautiful boy multiple times in a row. What was that about? What a good looking boy. Beautiful boy.

[Frank]

I didn't stop.

[Joe]

You did say it. You said it.

[Frank]

I, I, he does this to us all the time. My beautiful boys when we walk in. So I decided to place a, place it right back to him. I gave him a beautiful boy.

[Joe]

You gave him two, but the second one was like beautiful. Yeah, you literally did.

[Frank]

I mean, I'm in admiration. I think he's a good looking guy. I want to make sure that I give him the proper credit where credit is due. When you do that. That sucks, I'll tell you that.

[Ant]

Like that in, like this.

[Frank]

What is that?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I don't know. That was cute.

[Frank]

Do you guys, did you guys do family portraits growing up?

[Ant]

Yeah, I did.

[Joe]

You did like white people for real? Yeah, I know, but I'm white too. I think I did one when I was a, like a baby.

[Frank]

I remember the baby. One of you, you're in like an old timey sailor's costume or some shit.

[Joe]

Yeah, I look like I own a cereal company or something. Like it was. Yeah, me and Keith for like Easter, my mom would dress us up like Cabbage Bash dolls or something.

[Frank]

Yeah, Becca's parents did that too. I remember when we were buying our house, her mom, like gave her like a basket full of like these were your baby clothes. And it was like, it looked like it was made out of yarn from Michaels. Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe]

Like these people are on the Titanic. Like, that's what it kind of looks like.

[Frank]

Well, they lived out in Oregon, so they were as close to like, you know, like living on the Oregon Trail hippies as you could possibly be, you know? How old were you?

[Joe]

Like, do you still do family portraits?

[Ant]

No.

[Joe]

When did you think you stopped? Did.

[Ant]

Stop. Did. It was just me. It was just me and my sister. I don't think my parents joined in.

[Joe]

That's not a family portrait at all.

[Frank]

It was before your brothers.

[Ant]

It was before my brothers, so I was young.

[Joe]

But they wouldn't, they, they wouldn't be in the photos with you.

[Ant]

I think they got in for a couple, but I just distinctly remember just the ones with me and my sisters. I was holding Roses. I was in a white button down.

[Frank]

Oh shit.

[Joe]

You were doing Macy's type of.

[Frank]

I mean, I did them as an adult. Like.

[Joe]

Did you?

[Frank]

Yeah. You don't remember that? Like the picture in my house, I like.

[Joe]

Oh yeah.

[Frank]

But that was just you. No. Oh, you all were in that. We all had them. And there was another one. Like we were. Because we did it for like Christmas one year. My sister organized it and she was like, let's get playful with it. So there was like. Cuz you go to these places and they have like props that you could use. So one was like a rock. So I like went on the rock and like kicked my feet up.

[Joe]

Did you do family portraits like every year growing up?

[Frank]

No, no, no, no. I remember we did them like as babies. I don't remember it as babies, but I know we did it as babies.

[Joe]

You do family portraits right now, like

[Frank]

portraits is a stretch. We're not like going to a studio to do that.

[Joe]

But you're like, outside there's a photography.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do photo shoot.

[Joe]

Yeah. Photoshoot. Yeah.

[Frank]

Like a portrait. Yes, I guess, I guess, I guess.

[Joe]

When does that stop, do you think?

[Frank]

Selfishly, I hope never.

[Joe]

Right?

[Frank]

Like, I hope we have them every year forever. I'm sure the kids are going to get to a certain point where it's like they don't want to do this anymore.

[Joe]

Yeah. It's weird that this is coming up because you brought this up, right? Because I'm. I'm literally. We. We are booked for a family portrait. My sister organized it for my mom's birthday. So we're doing one like next month. And for the first time in like, I couldn't even tell you.

[Frank]

That's going to be fun. That's good, bro. First of all, that's going to be the greatest gift your mom has ever had. She's going to cry, prepare a weeping.

[Joe]

She's. I mean, she's not going to cry at the photo shoot.

[Frank]

No, no, no. After, when she gets them, you know, she might. She probably will.

[Joe]

She's hit or miss sometimes.

[Frank]

Really?

[Joe]

She's like, she, she's so like, like she'll cry at stuff that I'm like this. But then she won't. She's like, oh my God, this is so nice.

[Frank]

What's the like 100% guarantee, you know? Like, you know you can make your mom cry with it if you show her, have her listen to it, see it, whatever.

[Joe]

I don't know if I have an answer to that. I don't know. I Don't. I don't know, because sometimes, like, she's. She gets. She gets me. Every time she cries, I cry. But, like, it's so hard to tell when it's gonna get her emotional because she's, like, really, like, Irish and strong about certain.

[Frank]

Well, she was raised Iris cat, Irish Catholic, which is like, you better not cry, and you better believe that. No, but, like, even my grandma was

[Joe]

like, like, my aunt. Her daughter had passed away before her, and she was just like, a G at the thing.

[Frank]

And that's crazy.

[Joe]

This is great. I mean, she definitely cried when we first got there. And I was like, the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. But then after that, like, during the wake, she was just, like, chilling, and I'm like, how is she doing this?

[Frank]

I mean, that's a different generation. Like, they. She was feeling it.

[Joe]

They're numb, dude. They would go to school. They do cursive. You. You can't figure out. And the teacher would beat the. Out of you with a ruler.

[Frank]

Well, school back then was, like, also like a schoolhouse near the quarry, you know, like, they didn't have. I'm talking to your grandmother's age.

[Joe]

Yeah. I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Frank]

Well, I'm saying back then, it's like they also had a hard time getting to and from school. It'd be like three years old to be like, all right, time to go to school, walk five miles.

[Joe]

I think that maybe I'm making this up, but maybe she went to St. Francis.

[Frank]

Your grandmother?

[Joe]

Yeah, I think so, bro.

[Frank]

Your grandmother was older than fucking sliced bread. There's no way.

[Joe]

No, no, look up. When sliced bread was invented, I think

[Frank]

it was like the 30s.

[Ant]

It was after Betty White.

[Joe]

So then my Grandma was, like, 20.

[Frank]

My grandmother was 26. I remember that.

[Joe]

She might have been 29.

[Frank]

I remember that because we had her 75th birthday party. I've told this story, and it Landed on what year?

[Joe]

2001.

[Frank]

Yep.

[Ant]

Sliced bread was invented in 1928.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Close. I don't know when her birthday was, to be honest.

[Frank]

I mean, my grandmother was definitely alive before sliced bread.

[Joe]

That's so weird.

[Frank]

That is weird. So think about it. That means that.

[Joe]

What the fuck were they eating? Just loaves. I kind of like a loaf.

[Frank]

Dude, cutting your own bread is kind of cool.

[Joe]

Cutting, Bro, you got to rip that bitch.

[Frank]

No, we got like, a bread cutter.

[Joe]

No.

[Frank]

And it's like an old timey wheel. It's kind of fucking cool.

[Joe]

How does that work?

[Frank]

It's like you put, like. It's like. It's like a deli slicer.

[Joe]

Ah.

[Frank]

And, like, you adjust the, like.

[Joe]

Yeah. Girth, thickness.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking for tomato. Tomato, right?

[Joe]

I mean, sure it is.

[Frank]

And you just, like, you push it through and you crank it, and then they're just like. It slices off.

[Joe]

It's nice ripping a bread, though.

[Frank]

You, like, like it like when Aladdin ripped that bread.

[Joe]

Oh, my God. You know what?

[Frank]

I low key, like.

[Joe]

You know when you take the elbow off of an Italian bread, and then I like to dig it out, like, and then I just have, like, a little hat.

[Frank]

Oh. What we would do is when we would have, like, pasta night, we would get the Italian bread, We'd fight. My brothers and I would fight over who would get the ends, because then you dig it out and you just fucking stuff it full of spaghetti. Then you have, like, a spaghetti sandwich.

[Joe]

Oh, you would shove the elbow full of spaghetti.

[Frank]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[Joe]

Oh, I don't know if I've ever done that, dude. Some of the elbows are hard, dude.

[Frank]

I mean, it's hard. Elbow, it's tough. You. You grew up in a. In a big pasta house. I remember your mom making a lot of pasta. Okay, but I'm saying, like, you never did pasta sandwiches or anything.

[Joe]

Pasta sandwiches? No, I don't think so.

[Frank]

I would ask, what's a pasta sandwich? Just that pasta sandwich was, you know, like, you had pasta, but you take a slice of white bread or, like, you take a fucking end of Italian bread and you just put. You put the pasta in it, baby. I know.

[Joe]

I never. I never did that. I mean, she would make a fucking meatball palm every now and then.

[Frank]

You mom make the meatballs.

[Joe]

Bam. Oh, my God. My mom used to make meatballs like, every other day.

[Frank]

That was. I remember meatballs. I remember pasta. I know you often bring up your mom's broccoli.

[Joe]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

But, dude, there's nothing better than just a slice of white bread. And you just some fucking wet spaghetti with some red sauce, and you hold it like a taco. Yeah, hear me out with a cup of whole milk. So good.

[Joe]

Dude, that is so insane. That is the most like. Like, I would never eat that in this year.

[Frank]

Why?

[Joe]

Because that's. I mean, one whole milk is bananas.

[Frank]

I mean, you could have a cup of whole milk and exist. You drank, like, three quarters of a gallon for the Hot Ones video.

[Joe]

That was out of survival. I mean, I was not gonna live if that. If that didn't happen.

[Ant]

Walked into Joe's Apartment and he was eating that. We would. What are you doing?

[Frank]

We would go, you know what I have done? I would be very excited.

[Joe]

You know what I have. There's no way. I mean, I could be anything. And he would scream at me. But do you know what I have done? That's absolutely disgusting. But like, I was desperate when we were younger and we'd be in Connecticut and it would be. We would be like drinking all night or whatever. It would be like 2am and I would go into Espo's house and I would just take a hot dog bun and I would put ketchup in it, close it and eat that.

[Frank]

Yeah, you were, I remember as kid, ketchup sandwiches. You were a big bread, bread and ketchup guy.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Like, I remember in elementary school getting school lunch and seeing like you. Because remember it would come with like a little like bun for the, like a burger, whatever. No, like the lunch sometimes just came with like a little bun. Like a biscuit bun or whatever.

[Joe]

It was a bun.

[Frank]

I remember you ripping that and dip it and wiping the plate with your bread.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And I mean, not bad. Yeah. I don't hate that. It was until you started dipping your pita bread in ketchup, which was crazy.

[Joe]

I mean, bread is bread. PETA is an amazing.

[Frank]

No, no, no, no.

[Joe]

What's the number one bread? Is it naan?

[Frank]

I am super partial to pita. Naan is up there.

[Joe]

I feel like I like naan more than pita.

[Frank]

It's just.

[Joe]

Isn't it just the same but flavored? I don't really know.

[Frank]

I think it's also cooked different.

[Joe]

Can I tell you something?

[Frank]

I'll tell you.

[Joe]

I'm gonna be brave here. I'm gonna be brave here.

[Frank]

Oh, boy.

[Joe]

The first time that I like, heard of naan bread, someone's like, oh, we should get some naan bread. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. I thought it was like a supplement,

[Frank]

like an impossible burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

I thought it was like, you know, gluten free bread that was like naan bread, bread. Like I didn't had no idea that it was.

[Frank]

I love naan. The times I've had it, I started to like it even more once I saw how it was cooked when they just fucking bang, throw it into the fucking oven.

[Joe]

So like careless too. Like they got it and they're just like. And then it stays. Somehow it just stays.

[Frank]

It's. It's like. Have you seen those videos of like street cooking in India?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Where it'll be like a Vat of hot, like oil. And the guy will just put something in. He's like, I will say those are

[Joe]

the most insane videos I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Frank]

Why is the oil black?

[Joe]

Why? Why?

[Frank]

Like, what would we have to do to get you, Frank, to eat that

[Joe]

food, first of all? Me?

[Frank]

You. Oh, no, no, you know me. I'll eat it.

[Ant]

Just.

[Frank]

We won't be able to leave this.

[Joe]

You're dying in India if you have this oily, like, street food.

[Frank]

Yeah, brother, I'm not making it out of there.

[Joe]

There's a guy on Tick Tock that I've seen, which I don't know how offensive this is, to be honest.

[Frank]

It's all right, let it fly.

[Joe]

But I mean, well. But he's like, I'm going to eat the street street food every day for however many days to see, like, when I'm going to get food poisoning.

[Frank]

Yeah. I mean, it is 100%.

[Joe]

There's no way I'm holding up there, though. I mean, Indian food around here, I can't.

[Frank]

Listen, I'm not going to sit here and if I don't have a base of bread, I, I just, I'm not going to generalize all Indian street food and say, like, it'll get you sick. Cuz. I don't know. But I have seen videos of some that's been like, that does look like that would. That would mess up, gum up the works, so to say.

[Joe]

I mean, it's, you know, sometimes there's people cooking stuff.

[Frank]

I'll tell you this, I do want to get those, like, the drinks that they do. Oh, where it's like, where they like, make it rapidly, but like, they're not really making it rapidly. They're just like shaking their head really.

[Joe]

They'll put the ice in the cup and then take the ice out and smash it, put it back in the cup.

[Frank]

I'm like, you're going to tell me that doesn't work.

[Joe]

I appreciate a show, though. I'm big on the show.

[Frank]

I am. First of all, I feel like in that situation you're probably not paying enough because you're getting a meal and a show. Yeah, you know, I like it where

[Joe]

it's like, dude, you know what I like watching? You ever see someone, like, they make Moscow Mules, but they make them so fucking fast. And there's a point in it where they're putting fresh lime juice into it and they just have like the squeezer and the guy just like. And just go.

[Frank]

I'm like, yo, I Don't know if I've ever had. I might have had one, but I don't know if I appreciate a Moscow Mule.

[Joe]

You've never had a Moscow.

[Frank]

I can't recall ever having one, and if I have, it's been like a little sip. I've definitely never ordered one. Wow.

[Joe]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

I just don't, you know.

[Joe]

You don't like ginger?

[Frank]

I love ginger. I just never had one. I don't know. There's no, like, rhyme or reason to it.

[Joe]

You got to get one.

[Frank]

Going back to bread, though. Sourdough. Yeah, I mean, Becca's been making sourdough, and I'll tell you right now, put me on a gurney, open my legs, blow away what's there.

[Joe]

All right, I'm not gonna do that. Someone better, though. Open my legs and blow away what's there?

[Frank]

Like, with a gun.

[Joe]

Yeah. But I don't remember my mom making pasta that much. I'll tell you what we did. We did do. Every so often, we'd be. We, like, be like, mom, can we have breakfast for dinner? And she would make us, like, pancakes or waffles.

[Frank]

That's the whitest shit I've ever heard in my entire fucking life.

[Joe]

It wasn't all the time. It was, like, a once a quarter.

[Frank]

Please, mom, please can we have pancakes for dinner? Y'?

[Joe]

All.

[Frank]

That's the whitest shit.

[Joe]

How is that the whitest shit?

[Frank]

The whitest shit I've ever heard of

[Joe]

shoving pasta into the elder elbow of a bread, saying, I have a sandwich.

[Frank]

That's modern ingenuity.

[Joe]

You're eating like Aladdin.

[Frank]

Oh, Yep. What's wrong about that? Also, he What? Is Aladdin famously not white? Have a house?

[Joe]

That's what he Famously not.

[Frank]

He does have a pretty sick view of. Oh, he has a pretty cool, like, little setup there.

[Joe]

It's not his. It's an abandoned building.

[Frank]

I mean, what is one man's trash if not another man's treasure?

[Joe]

Sure.

[Frank]

So there you go.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Speaking of breakfast and pancakes, I have something. Okay.

[Frank]

Oh, boy.

[Ant]

I have

[Frank]

oomp.

[Ant]

What would you consider is the best style of pancake?

[Joe]

Can we get this out of the way before we start talking? Crepes are, like, overrated as hell.

[Frank]

You can.

[Joe]

You could.

[Frank]

You could die.

[Joe]

You like crepes like that?

[Frank]

I love crepes, dude. Yeah. Crepes are overrated. Like a savory crepe.

[Ant]

But it's not a pancake. Right.

[Frank]

I mean, it definitely doesn't belong in here. We're not gonna argue semantics. It is Kind of technically a pancake, it's just got more liquid than cake, but. What?

[Joe]

More liquid?

[Frank]

Yeah. Like, crepes are just thinner.

[Joe]

How is that more liquid?

[Ant]

They're not wet.

[Frank]

Because when you like the batter I'm referencing in order to make a crepe, it's a thinner, like, liquid.

[Joe]

Oh, I was like, I don't know what you're talking about there.

[Frank]

So, best pancake style.

[Ant]

We have classic fluffy souffle. Crispy crepe thin.

[Joe]

I will say the. The. Is that how you spell souffle? I would have not got that.

[Frank]

I'm not sure I believe it is.

[Joe]

Well, that, I think, is not great unless it's in Japan, because I've seen those videos of them making those fucking fluffy. Like, you smack them like there's a. Fuck Japan.

[Frank]

There's a place. Don't.

[Joe]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

My bad, guys. I meant forget about them having them over there. There are places in here that have them in here. In here.

[Joe]

In the US within the continental.

[Frank]

There's like a video that went viral that was like, New York City's best pancakes. And it's just like. It's basically a cheeseburger of a pancake.

[Joe]

Hell, yeah.

[Frank]

Like, it's a big.

[Joe]

Yeah. I'm not into that, though. If I'm getting pancakes, like, that's another thing. That's another. That's a different day. But if I'm getting pancakes, bro, I'm going crispy.

[Frank]

Yes. What?

[Joe]

Yes. I like the edges to be like, ew.

[Frank]

What's wrong with you guys? Crispy is the last thing I want my pancake to be described at. Just get a waffle.

[Joe]

But it's not the whole pancake. It's just the edges, the middle.

[Ant]

Still a pancake circumference of crisp.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah. It's an outline of crisp.

[Frank]

I'm not. I'm not. I mean, listen, I don't dislike. I wouldn't by any means call them crispy. I don't dislike when they're cooked like that. But in this situation. Give me the classic, baby. I mean, how boring. Boring. I mean, there's a reason that it's the best. It's. It's. It's iconic. I'll also say this. I'll throw this out there. Waffles over pancakes.

[Joe]

That could be true.

[Frank]

Waffles. French toast pancakes.

[Joe]

Oh, actually, I don't know of the

[Ant]

Belgian variety or Eggo.

[Joe]

You could.

[Frank]

They could come from any country you want them to come from.

[Joe]

We're gonna go Belgium, though. Obviously you like eggos over Belgium?

[Frank]

No, I'm not saying that. I'm just like. I don't know, because, like, the Belgiums do it where, like, you can get it in, like, the middle of the day. I like my breakfast to be appropriately timed. It's breakfast. Because it's breakfast.

[Joe]

You've never had breakfast at night?

[Frank]

I'm sure I have. I don't love it. I remember during college during, like, finals

[Joe]

week, you had some pancakes.

[Frank]

They would, like, keep the dining hall open through the night for those people, like, studying super hard and be like, we have breakfast at midnight. And I'd be like, this is fucking stupid.

[Joe]

Really? I feel like everyone likes breakfast at night. It's a nice, like, change of pace every once in a while.

[Frank]

I mean, but you could change the pace with just different meals. Like, it doesn't need to be.

[Ant]

You never had a drunk. Bacon, egg and cheese?

[Frank]

Yeah, bacon, egg and cheese is its own thing.

[Joe]

What about a McGriddle?

[Frank]

What is a McGriddle if not a bacon, egg and cheese?

[Joe]

Yeah, well, it's on the breakfast menu.

[Frank]

I don't consider. I know it is. I am allowing bacon, egg and cheese to exist outside of the realm of breakfast.

[Ant]

All right, so you're. You would say that bacon, egg and cheese is not a breakfast?

[Frank]

I would say it can be if it wants to be, but I'm allowing it to choose what it is.

[Joe]

Would you avoid breakfast for foods at that time at dinner?

[Frank]

2:00am, 3:00am no, because it really depends on, like, the atmosphere. I'm not having if I'm having breakfast foods past noon.

[Joe]

Well, you never been to a brunch.

[Frank]

I have, but my brunches have been from, like 10:00am to noon.

[Joe]

Oh, wow.

[Frank]

If I'm. If I'm at brunch and it's after 12pm the only thing I'm eating is the bottom of this fucking champagne bottle.

[Joe]

First of all, that's both, brother. You never showed up to a brunch at, like, 1 o'. Clock. Get it going.

[Frank]

No, because that's not brunch anymore. That's just lunch.

[Ant]

Oh, man. It's a.

[Joe]

You're making good points. Isn't brunch a combination of those?

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, but that's why it's like a 10 or 11am thing.

[Joe]

But before noon would be breakfast, obviously.

[Frank]

No, I would say. I would say breakfast is like, you know, I understand. People wake up at different times. Breakfast ends at, like, 11.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And McDonald's, first of all, you can get breakfast all day, I believe now. Second of all, McGriddles bastards. That's crazy. They know what they're doing here. They're teasing the world.

[Joe]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Ant]

Brunch is a 1:00pm thing. It feels like a 1:00pm thing.

[Joe]

If you're gonna like, if I'm going drink alcohol.

[Frank]

Yeah, alcohol is a anytime thing. It's only problematic. It's only problematic when it's an everyday, every time.

[Joe]

I personally would not go to a brunch at. Not that I, I would wouldn't. But like, I would prefer not to go to a brunch at 10am I also like don't really eat at 10am

[Frank]

yeah, you also need to acknowledge in this argument you have the eating regularities of a very irregular reader.

[Joe]

Huh?

[Frank]

You like that?

[Joe]

That's a long winded way to say that.

[Ant]

Say that three times fast.

[Joe]

Yeah, you have the regularities of an irregular type of person.

[Frank]

I'm not going to sit here and argue it. I will say though that to me, breakfast, depending. Of course there are people that work the night shift. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Breakfast is until 11am Okay, 11 to 12 is brunch. Brunch. And then lunch is after that until dinner time.

[Ant]

You can't give brunch one hour.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's gotta be at least two. I, I'm also not, I am not bestowing this, these, these, these, these guardrails on them.

[Joe]

So you only have.

[Frank]

Wait, what was. Go to any, Go to any place that offers like bottomless brunch. When do they offer it from?

[Joe]

Like whenever.

[Frank]

No, they don't.

[Ant]

They offer 10. 10 to 2, 10 to 3.

[Joe]

Yeah, bro, it's in the afternoon. I'm telling you, like, it definitely goes to the afternoon.

[Frank]

I think like, I think it starts earlier. I think that's really dumb.

[Joe]

I mean, hey, it's fair. I think that. Well, like lunch. When does that start? 10 or 11?

[Frank]

I think 11:30 is lunch is.

[Joe]

See like 11:30 to eat like a fucking deli sandwich is crazy to me.

[Frank]

I mean there are people that start their work day at 7am so that's, you know, five and a half or four and a half hours after they start work. That's normal.

[Joe]

I guess so. I just haven't had a real job.

[Ant]

That's fair.

[Joe]

So I don't know.

[Frank]

I remember, you know, when I worked construction, it was 7:00am Start 9:15. Would you eat? I would try to eat, but it would be tough. So like I would sometimes just wait until coffee at like 9:15 and then 11:30, lunch, and then you were leaving for the day by three. Yes.

[Ant]

Technically, breakfast has a time and lunch has a time. Wouldn't brunch just be the combination of how long breakfast and lunch is?

[Frank]

There's a Venn diagram. There's a little bit of both.

[Ant]

Because it's a combination brunch.

[Joe]

Well, I see. Like, yeah, but 8am you're not at brunch. You're not.

[Frank]

He's. That's insane. You're at breakfast. All right, so what. But hold on. We need to specify what is separating breakfast from brunch and it's the inclusion of mimosa.

[Ant]

If I could get a mimosa. It's brunch. It doesn't matter what it is.

[Joe]

No shot.

[Frank]

So 8am you're not at brunch.

[Ant]

If I'm having a mimosa, I'm at brunch.

[Frank]

Joey, you. I. It's also, like. It's okay.

[Joe]

What about five o'? Clock? You have a mimosa, you're at brunch.

[Ant]

A.m. no.

[Frank]

P.m. or you know what?

[Ant]

Both a.m. and p.m. am I eating eggs?

[Frank]

Sure.

[Ant]

I'm at brunch.

[Joe]

Come on, you're bending.

[Ant]

No, definitely more.

[Frank]

No.

[Ant]

5am is 5. 5, 5.

[Frank]

5am if you're a drinking of mimosa at 5am you're literally.

[Joe]

It's insane.

[Frank]

You're really cool.

[Ant]

It's probably just because I didn't end yet.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

It wouldn't be because I woke up,

[Frank]

I would drink Mimosas at 5am 5am I 5am Mimosas is a boozy breakfast. That's what they'll call that.

[Joe]

Boozy.

[Frank]

Call it a boozy break. Really good.

[Joe]

But not 5am no. This is like a boozy lifestyle.

[Frank]

Do you remember what we used to do on St. Patrick's Day?

[Joe]

That was at like 8am and those were beers.

[Frank]

That was different. Oh.

[Joe]

It was also St. Patrick's Day and I was wearing a shamrock. There's a lot of things at play.

[Frank]

We would literally sleep over each other's houses and go to sleep and put a tall boy next to our bed like it was a fucking nightlight.

[Ant]

Hell, yeah.

[Frank]

And then 8am we would roll over and crack it and start going.

[Ant]

If you're saying bacon, egg and cheeses are outside the realm of breakfast, I would say St. Patty's Day is outside the realm of drinks.

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joe]

It's not a normal day.

[Frank]

I agree full heartedly.

[Joe]

Also, when they do green beers. Disgusting.

[Frank]

Oh, Daddy has taken down many green beers. And also I one time in college, I was like a super fucking Dive bar. And I went in like September or August or something like that, and they were like, we're doing 50 cent beers. And I was like, oh, sick. I'll take one. And it was green. And I was like, what the fuck is this? Like, it's still Left over from St. Patrick's Day.

[Joe]

Oh, my God.

[Frank]

So guess what, though?

[Joe]

It's beer.

[Frank]

It's.

[Joe]

I drank just beer.

[Frank]

I mean, what's the difference between a 50 cent green Milwaukee's best and a $2 green Milwaukee's best and a.

[Joe]

And a bucket of piss.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Really is the difference between those things?

[Frank]

I mean, brother, I peed hard.

[Ant]

Do they have to put blue dye in it to get a green or green dye?

[Frank]

Green.

[Joe]

I have no idea.

[Frank]

Never made them. Are you kidding me? You guys. You guys are alcohol kings. You're the kings of booze.

[Joe]

Do you make like, Jell O shots? Are you that guy?

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe]

You make them, though?

[Ant]

I could do them.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I've never made them. Yeah. I've only eaten them.

[Ant]

Yeah, it's more like slurp, but. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's. It's a lot. I'm gonna do it in private.

[Frank]

I will say there is someone out there. If we ever go on Shark Tank for anything, we can pitch a really cool, like, jello shot cup that has like a spring loaded bottom. No, you could, like, you could like, hit it. It like it stands and sits as a regular cup. And then you could, like, push it down and like the spring underneath will just like, pick up the Jello.

[Joe]

I'm not a big enough fan of Jello shots.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, it makes sense why you wouldn't.

[Joe]

Are they shots?

[Frank]

Yeah. There's less. There's no, there's not that. Yeah.

[Joe]

Like, each one's not a shot.

[Frank]

You could have 30 of them and it'd be equivalent, like six shots.

[Joe]

Do you, like, mix it in a separate thing and. Yeah.

[Frank]

So when you. When you make. Have you never made Jello?

[Joe]

I have made Jello, but I don't know, like, with the shots, I don't know if you, like, add that into

[Frank]

the ice cream or whatever. When you make like the boiling water and you add it into the fucking mixture, the powder, you add in like three quarters of a cup or whatever, of whatever alcohol you want to do. So it's not like if you're supposed to. If Spring Fest is happening now at Lowe's, keep the spotlight on your yard with stay green premium two cubic foot mulch. Five bags for two, $10. Plus when you want more help indoors, get up to 40% off. Select major appliances that help you supercharge your chores. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid to 422 while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See lowe's.com for details. Mulch off for excludes Alaska and Hawaii.

[Ant]

You're supposed to put in two cups of water to it.

[Frank]

You'll do one.

[Ant]

One cup water, One cup.

[Joe]

Yeah, got it.

[Ant]

Whatever you want.

[Joe]

All right.

[Ant]

Like lime jello. You put tequila in it.

[Frank]

Yeah, we get that. We.

[Joe]

We figured it out. Should we do a jello shot episode?

[Ant]

Oh, God, it's hard.

[Joe]

I mean, I don't want to do.

[Frank]

I mean, it's gonna be such bait for all the horny people on the Internet. Because it's usually like.

[Joe]

I mean, the audio listeners are gonna be like, all right, you're going crazy.

[Ant]

Crazy. We did a thousand one time.

[Joe]

Excuse me?

[Ant]

Did a thousand jello shots.

[Joe]

How many people?

[Frank]

40 people. Living in your house?

[Ant]

It was six. It was five of us.

[Frank]

Five people.

[Joe]

Did a thousand alive to tell the tale.

[Frank]

That's crazy.

[Ant]

Sort of. It was. It wasn't. It was hard.

[Joe]

I couldn't eat a thousand pieces of Jello.

[Frank]

Give me the information, baby. Come on.

[Ant]

It was. It was just. It was tough. We. It was. I think it wound up. We wound up doing 600. We tried to get to the thousand. Spoiler alert. But we did six. Like, six.

[Frank]

He's trying not to spoil the video. So people will then go look it up and they will see.

[Joe]

No, you ate a thousand jello. I mean, 100 jello shots.

[Ant]

Yeah, we did that as well.

[Frank]

Yeah. That's insane. That's not as hard as you think.

[Ant]

I think Danny did a hundred.

[Joe]

I don't think I've had 50 in my life.

[Ant]

In your life?

[Joe]

In my life.

[Frank]

Think Danny did 180? That's a good question.

[Joe]

I've never. Bro, that's insane. Were you not, like, hammered?

[Ant]

Everyone was throwing up, so it was fine.

[Frank]

Well, it's also the combination of the alcohol, gelatin, and sugar.

[Ant]

Oh, no. Sugar free. We're not crazy.

[Frank]

Oh, I mean.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank]

So forgive me.

[Joe]

I'm gonna destroy my body.

[Frank]

Guys, eating 600 jello shots are at nuts.

[Joe]

Yeah, well, I'll do 600 shots, just not sugar. What am I.

[Frank]

You can't do that.

[Ant]

And sugar Jello.

[Frank]

I mean, you're getting the sugar with the alcohol anyway. Yeah, but it just.

[Ant]

Double whammy. Can't do it.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Ant]

We could do a jello shot Power hour.

[Joe]

No, we Can't.

[Frank]

Yes, we could.

[Joe]

That's too many.

[Frank]

It would be 60 between each of us. I think we definitely could. Sorry, am I 60? No.

[Joe]

20 jello shots is a ton.

[Frank]

You won't be able to do it. You won't be able to do it. You don't think I can do 20 jello shots?

[Ant]

No, 60. Oh, I. I could just clip 60 like the first time I tried.

[Joe]

You can do 20? Dude, that's a ton of jello, brother.

[Frank]

20 jello shots I can do in 20 minutes. I guess that's power hours. That's not that hard.

[Joe]

I don't even want to.

[Frank]

I mean, it also depends on the size. If we're doing like. Like this. But like a normal. Like the cups, they come in one ounce.

[Ant]

It's an ounce.

[Frank]

Yeah, I could.

[Joe]

That's crazy.

[Frank]

20 ounces of alcohol. You can't do that.

[Joe]

20 ounces is like.

[Frank]

It's like 10 drinks. No, it's not.

[Joe]

A drink is like two ounces of

[Frank]

alcohol, but it's also. Each one is not a full ounce of alcohol. It's like maybe a. A. A quarter of it.

[Joe]

I mean.

[Ant]

Yeah, one of them has to be.

[Joe]

I mean, bro, think about this, right? Like, I believe there's two ounces of alcohol in like, a cocktail.

[Frank]

Maybe three. I think it's actually supposed to be like 1.5 is like, the measurement.

[Joe]

Let's call it two.

[Frank]

Right?

[Joe]

Okay, so that's 10 drinks. Let's say. Let's just cut that in half. So now It's. We're at five drinks, right? You just said 20 minutes. Imagine drinking five cocktails in 20 minutes. I mean, you probably will, like. There's gonna be a delay on that, but it will hurt.

[Frank]

I mean. Hurt how?

[Joe]

Hammer City. You're gonna be Hammer City.

[Frank]

Hammer time. Yeah, I. I don't think I. In an hour, I can definitely do 60 jello shots.

[Ant]

I'm telling you. I don't think you can.

[Frank]

No fucking. Sorry, Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. In an hour, I could definitely do 20 jello shots.

[Joe]

I probably believe that. I would. I would advise not to do that.

[Frank]

I mean, I'm not sitting here and by any means saying I'm like, pumped at the idea.

[Joe]

Well, I think also 20 jello shots. Even if it's not 20 shots, which. If it's 20 shots that we're talking about dead bodies here. But if it's less than that in an hour, sure, bro. The jello to me is like a lot.

[Ant]

It's a lot of jello.

[Frank]

I mean, like, that must just feel weird in your belly. But, like, what is gelatin if not just, like plasma fied liquid? It's gonna just get pissed out.

[Joe]

I'm just worried about the feeling of it. I mean, having that much Jello in me would feel weird.

[Frank]

I had years ago, I had, I think it was a colonoscopy and they, like, allow you to have Jello and

[Joe]

you just ripped jello.

[Frank]

I think I ripped like a whole six pack of Jello.

[Ant]

Cold jello going down feels really good.

[Frank]

Dude, Jello is not getting the fucking love it deserves.

[Joe]

I like sucking it through my teeth.

[Frank]

Like, it's.

[Joe]

And it just like, collapses and gets through.

[Frank]

You know, every guy do that, like, sucks in a Jello shot and he, like, gags off on it. He's like, yeah, that is crazy. I do think that. I know 20 is a lot. Yeah, dude, bro, if I could do 20, which I did, how many pigs in a blanket did I eat third?

[Ant]

30.

[Frank]

30, I believe 30. I could with ease, do 20 jello shots.

[Ant]

I think you could do 20. I just, I know you can't do 60.

[Frank]

I, I, you know what? In an hour, I probably can't do 60, bro. In two hours in it, if you gave me four hours, I could do 60.

[Ant]

I don't think you can.

[Joe]

You know, you'd be hurt bad after that.

[Frank]

I mean, yeah, I'd be, I'd be a little toasty.

[Ant]

Can we just do a Senegal studios video? Just give him four hours, bro. And 60 jello shots.

[Joe]

Yeah. Do I have to be there for when he vomits all over the place?

[Ant]

I'll be there.

[Frank]

How much I think you like throw up. He does.

[Joe]

He likes throwing up.

[Frank]

He does.

[Ant]

It feels good. Because that means it. Something has to come out.

[Frank]

Well, that doesn't always happen. There are people that dry heave and nothing comes out.

[Ant]

Well, that's not what I'm talking about.

[Joe]

What was the point of bringing that up? Well, not always. Not always.

[Frank]

I thought he was referencing, like, it. Something always comes out.

[Joe]

Oh, no, I don't like throwing up.

[Frank]

If I, if I, if there was a video that you guys made me throw up and can't film that because he's throwing up with me.

[Ant]

I'll be fine. And also, I'll ride with you. We'll do it together.

[Joe]

You guys gonna throw up together?

[Frank]

I think he's a beautiful boy.

[Joe]

Because you guys will throw up together

[Frank]

in tandem, where you ride together. We die together. Throw up, boys for life. Right?

[Joe]

To the ads. We do have some ads here. The first one being

[Frank]

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[Joe]

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[Frank]

Okay.

[Joe]

Zocdoc.com basement all right. Thanks for Zocdoc for sponsoring this show again. Zocdoc.com basement Love it.

[Frank]

Beautiful. Happy for everyone. You know, it's gonna make you a little more happy. Patreon. Patreon.com is the best way to support us for. Thank you to those that have supported us. To the over 45, 000 paid patrons we got on there. That's crazy. That's insane. Thank you so much. And listen, why don't you grab your friends next to you that like the show and say you guys want something cool? This is going to be kind of fun. Let's go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com the basement yard. You can, your friends, your pals, everyone that you want can come on over. And why? Because it's fun. It is. You sign up for that first tier, you got these weekly episodes one week in advance. Then there's another tier right above that, right above on top, topping on the Patreon. The Patreon top, where you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you could start and end your week with the basement. And I'll tell you right now, those Patreon episodes, they get after it a little bit. They're a little crazy. Okay. We recently were recording and Ant was just like, it's all right. It's Patreon. So you want to know what he's referencing when we say that? Go check it [e-mail] the Basementyard. We are sincerely so appreciative of all the love and all the support you guys have given us. And that is one of the ways that you guys could support us. That makes a huge difference here. So go check it out. Patreon.com the basement yard. And if while you're doing it, you want to save yourself a couple extra bucks, you can go on a web browser. All right? If you use the smart app, well, they're going to take a couple extra bucks from you because they got to pay Apple, blah, blah, blah. There's a whole thing. I don't want to get into it. But if you go to patreon.com the basement yard while you're sitting on a computer like this, and then you do that kid, that meme where the kite looks at the computer and he goes, it's going to make you do that because it's Patreon and it's us. So patreon.com web browser sign up. You'll save yourself some extra money. And it's fun. So thank you for all the love, all the support. Keep at it. We'll see you on Patreon. And we'll see you here. We'll see you all around.

[Joe]

We'll see you all around.

[Frank]

Sorry, I'm getting throttled by allergies. Spring is here, baby.

[Joe]

You get.

[Frank]

You get a.

[Joe]

You put you ragweed. Is that what you.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, the ragweed gets me.

[Joe]

What's the other one? It's ragweed and, like, dust. No.

[Ant]

Seaweed.

[Frank]

No.

[Joe]

What?

[Frank]

What? No one's a. I mean, I'm sure there are people that are allergic to seaweed, but, like.

[Joe]

Like, ragweed. And then there's the other one that's like.

[Frank]

I don't know what it is, but, like, the first week, I don't. Like, there are people that get it bad. Like, remember how bad Danny gets it?

[Joe]

Yeah, he likes to get it bad, too.

[Frank]

He can't see. I'm okay now, but, like, I am a little Jesty Bests up here. And I got a headache, but I'll be all right.

[Joe]

Okay. So I'm, like, on and off. Like, one year I'll have it really bad. And I can't go outside some days because it's, like, that bad. Like, I just. I can't be outside.

[Frank]

Yeah, we'll be all right. It's the spring. I'm just happy. I'm just happy about the fucking good weather.

[Joe]

Oh, my God, the sun, when it touches my face, it makes me feel so good and warm inside.

[Frank]

Do you, like, have, like, a park? You just go and lay on the grass? Because I remember when we went and did the UK tour that last day before the last show, so I guess there were two days left. You just laid down in the middle of that college campus on the grass and just lived on that.

[Joe]

Like you in Ireland. Trinity. Yeah.

[Frank]

Dude, that was sick.

[Joe]

I love this laying on the ground.

[Ant]

I.

[Joe]

You know how they say, like, oh, I'm grounding, when you're, like, barefoot on the grass? Apparently, that's a real thing.

[Frank]

Yeah, I can feel it apparently, too, that. It's like. There are studies that support the idea that getting your hands, like, dirty, like, gardening or something like that, it, like, boosts something. Serotonin or a dopamine.

[Joe]

I mean, there's nothing better than playing in the fucking dirt. Why do we stop doing that? Because I used to play in the dirt like crazy. Me and Keith used to, like, dig. I would touch worms and shit. And now I, like. I would play, like, them like the accordion, which Is probably bad.

[Frank]

You should probably murdered these poor worms.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah. And then the roly polio leaves. I would go like this.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Like they were a booger and I flick them.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah. Also murder.

[Joe]

Yeah. I think I'm.

[Frank]

We're finding out something about you.

[Joe]

I wasn't trying to hurt them. I just thought it was fun. But I used to play in the dirt and I would just take like dirt and I would go, oh, and I liked having dirt. And I wish I got more dirt on my face because that looks cool.

[Frank]

It does look cool. We also know how you feel about soot.

[Joe]

Don't get me started on chimneys.

[Frank]

We're not gonna go.

[Joe]

If I could work as a chimney sweeper twice a year, I would for free.

[Frank]

What's stopping you, baby?

[Joe]

That's true. I mean, I don't have a chimney.

[Frank]

You know what? Let's call your bluff. I think we should start a petition to get me clean chimneys one day a year. It doesn't even need to be two. One day a year. Joe's a chimney sweep and I need a work van. And it'll be. And you'll call it Joe. Joe will clean your pipes.

[Joe]

Yeah, well, no, we're not going to do that because we don't want people to get confused of why I'm here.

[Frank]

Yeah, let Joe. Let Joe slide down.

[Joe]

How do they clean it? Do you have a chimney? You have a chimney?

[Frank]

We have a chimney.

[Joe]

But you have a chimney.

[Frank]

No, we didn't have one. Do you have a chimney? I don't, but we have a gas. We have a gas fireplace so we don't have to like clean out.

[Joe]

How do you clean a chimney? It's like a big like.

[Frank]

Oh, I, I thought it was like old timey British guys. Shut up. And they like. Good eye. And they got a big broom and they're just fucking under it.

[Joe]

But does it look like a big feather? Like a big, like a, like a.

[Frank]

I imagine it's like the brooms that they use on the floor like that they, that they show in like, you know, Oliver Twist or something. The push brooms.

[Joe]

Oh, I was thinking more of like a, like a duster, but it's massive.

[Frank]

And you're like, oh, you know, there's probably an answer and I'm sure Ant will look it up. But like, I don't think it's that like you need a like soot can cake. So you like, if it's a duster,

[Joe]

you're not gonna fucking wish it would cake. Dude. Nothing would make me happier. Than falling into a mountain of soot and coming out and being like, yeah,

[Frank]

well, you would probably have some health things coming as a result of that. Yeah, I imagine that it's not. What the hell is that? Oh, I've seen this. I've seen this. It's like a. So they put it on a stick? No, no, they put it on, like, a drill, and it spins.

[Joe]

Oh, I don't know.

[Frank]

This is the same thing. I've gotten, like. Like, my air vents cleaned out, and this is what they use.

[Joe]

My dad's toothbrush used to look like that.

[Frank]

The guy would brush his teeth mad hard. Yeah, you know what? I would. I would. I wonder if that's a relatable thing.

[Joe]

Pull that up again. I got you. Dudes, does anyone else's father's toothbrush look like that?

[Frank]

That's how my dad's toothbrush would look. He's not kidding. It would be like Moses was on

[Joe]

that and just cut the thing in

[Frank]

half, and my dad was basically brushing with the plastic. Yeah, I remember that as a kid, just being like, what is this guy doing to his teeth?

[Joe]

I'm like, yo, go easy, bro. None of us are doing this. And he's just like, what about dads in the morning? They make someone do you do this? You get in the bathroom, you start making sounds.

[Frank]

No, I'll be honest with you. I am silent in the morning.

[Joe]

Really? You don't go?

[Frank]

No, I don't. I don't do that. I do it a little bit.

[Joe]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Frank]

I mean, it happens, like, as you get older, like, our bodies are changing again. Why?

[Joe]

Okay?

[Frank]

Why can't bodies just be the same? Dude? Why does it need to be like, they change when you're a teenager, and then, like, you get 30, and here comes another change. Yeah, that's the last time I want that to happen.

[Joe]

When I'm congested and I get in the shower, I'm making noises.

[Frank]

You're letting it. You're.

[Joe]

I mean, I'm not gonna, like, hawk spit in my.

[Frank]

You're gonna spit on that thing in the shower?

[Joe]

No, I'm not gonna do that, but I will, like, like, get my hole and then just.

[Frank]

Oh, are you one of these guys?

[Joe]

No, I'm not. I'm not.

[Frank]

Oh, I hate that, bro.

[Joe]

One time I was on the track.

[Frank]

I was at a park, public park. I was on the track.

[Joe]

The guy in front of me snot rocketed like Randy Johnson.

[Frank]

And I was like, bro, I'm right here. I hate that.

[Joe]

Yo, it's so fucking nasty.

[Frank]

Boogers are fucking gross.

[Joe]

Boogers are gross.

[Frank]

But I'm going to say this, okay? And I'm going to put this out there.

[Joe]

You like boogers?

[Frank]

No, I love picking my nose.

[Joe]

Dude, picking my nose is so fire.

[Frank]

Why in God's name have wheeze. Has someone started this movement? I don't know who the fuck did it. Something tells me it was just like, right around like, Jackie.

[Joe]

Oh, that it's not good.

[Frank]

Like, picking your boogers is, like, unsightly and shit like that. Like, it's fire. Dude, I fucking love picking my nose, bro. And then just like, you know, I'll keep a paper towel with me and I'll wipe it out and I'll wash my hands.

[Joe]

I'll throw it on the ground.

[Frank]

But, dude, if you're talking to me, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna get in there. I also like.

[Joe]

You know when you get like the edge of one, you're like, oh, this is.

[Frank]

This is gonna be good one.

[Joe]

And then you get like a long

[Frank]

and it like, pulls it out of your brain. I.

[Joe]

There's few things in this world I like more than that.

[Frank]

Dude, Boogers are gross. I'm gonna throw up. But I love my boogers. I love my boogers. I'm not gonna eat them, though. I'll fucking. I've never Grow up. I ate them when I was like three years old.

[Joe]

I've never eaten them. You're disgusting.

[Ant]

I've eaten.

[Frank]

I think I saw something once that apparently there's, like, health benefits to eating your boogers.

[Joe]

Dude, let's not do this.

[Frank]

I don't think there is. I'm not kidding.

[Ant]

I think those are just like, trick,

[Frank]

look up a doctor, like, article.

[Joe]

There's no way.

[Ant]

Should we use our Dr. Mike.

[Frank]

We should. We should. I DM him. Yeah, but just like, make it okay again.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Just being like, yo, there's something in there. Let me just go and fucking get it out.

[Joe]

Also, like, when I pick my nose and it, like, causes a nosebleed, I don't. I like it. I don't know why.

[Frank]

Because you feel like. It's like the whole idea of, like, you want to work a day. Like, you want to feel like you're.

[Joe]

No, no, no, no. It's not like a black eye. It's like, oh, I got bloody nose. Like, because I don't like getting blood all over my hands. God. I don't really like blood to begin with, but like, when you cause a bloody nose because it's cuz you got like a good one.

[Frank]

You gotta.

[Joe]

Yeah, and it's like. And then you're like, oh, now I'm bleeding. You know what I mean?

[Frank]

I don't like bloody noses. I do like the aftermath of like, when it crusts up in there, you could like, clean it out. Like you got to clean out your own chimney, bro.

[Joe]

Yo, this is great. This is. Yes.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

When you get a bloody nose and it's like crust on the outside and

[Frank]

you just go like this. Yeah. And like it looks like pepper. Yes, exactly. I'm pepper milling my nose.

[Joe]

Oh my God. You ever get a blood clot in your nose and you gotta like, pull it because. Because you were like, shoved. I don't know about like an actual blood clot.

[Frank]

I mean, like when you get a

[Joe]

bloody nose and you put a tissue in there and then you pull a tissue out and you're like, oh, dude, it's so disgusting. But it's great.

[Frank]

Oh my God. The feeling of like jamming paper towels or tissues into your nose, which don't do. Dr. Mike, I'm sure he'll tell us that. Who cares?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And then you pull them out and it's like that first inhalation of air is like fucking what I imagine. Heroin in the butt.

[Joe]

For real? Yeah. Boof. My anus with the black tar.

[Frank]

No, for real.

[Joe]

Because when you get it in there and. Bro, you ever do a double? You ever shove double in there?

[Frank]

I don't know if I've doubled it up.

[Joe]

When I'm like very, very congested, I'll do steam and then I shove two in there to get it all loose. And then when I pull it out,

[Frank]

it's like, oh, dude. I kind of. Like, I once saw someone do that, but with a tampon.

[Joe]

Hey, nose.

[Frank]

Yeah. Because what is a tampon? If we know what a tampon is. Let's make that a fun movie.

[Joe]

What is a tampon if not. You've been speaking like Shakespeare a lot lately.

[Frank]

I mean, I am a thespian, but like, what we're explaining. But just doing that with a tampon, dude, it's probably because they're made to be absorbent. Yeah.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

So that son of a bitch is coming out and I'll be able to smell you from fucking Zimbabwe.

[Joe]

Oh my God, it's so good. Dude. I love a bloody nose. Is not cool while it's happening.

[Frank]

It's so cool after I. I remember once I got a bloody nose, like at a pizza place.

[Joe]

Yeah, There has to be more to that. Story.

[Frank]

There has to be.

[Joe]

It can't be the end, Frank. There's gotta be more. It can't be the end.

[Frank]

It fell on my pizza slice, and I just cut that slice off and then ate the rest.

[Joe]

I mean. Okay, it's already in my mouth.

[Frank]

Okay. As long as it's my blood.

[Joe]

Yeah. If I got. I mean, if I have a bloody nose, the blood is in my mouth,

[Frank]

and I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a cut. And I just.

[Joe]

Yeah, you're like that. I'm not like that.

[Frank]

Really.

[Joe]

I won't lick my cuts. No, I'm not a cat.

[Frank]

Well, cats are on. Is something, because it's not the worst.

[Joe]

Yeah. I just don't like the taste of blood.

[Frank]

I mean, I don't either. I'm not, like, sitting there and I'm just like.

[Joe]

It's like I'm eating a pen or something. Yeah, I mean, bro, you know, one time I was chewing on a pen, and it exploded in my mouth.

[Frank]

Yeah, you told this story.

[Joe]

It's disgusting.

[Frank]

I. It was like a thing that kids did in, like, middle school and elementary school that, like, they would, like, like, pop pens in their mouth and be like. And, like, swallow.

[Joe]

I don't remember that.

[Frank]

Yeah, there were some. There was some Puerto Rican girls I

[Joe]

knew that did it. Oh, so it was popular with the Puerto Ricans.

[Frank]

Puerto Ricans crushed it.

[Joe]

They were crazy on it. Do you ever. Do you remember when the kids back in the day used to be like this? Turn their eyelids inside out, and it's like, look, I got red eyes. I want to slap them in the face.

[Frank]

If I could do that, I would. But I. You were that guy.

[Ant]

I. I'm not going near my eyes.

[Frank]

I know exactly what guy he was. First of all, what age for him?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Nine.

[Joe]

Okay. At nine. What grade is that?

[Frank]

Fourth grade.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

Ant was the type of guy that definitely did that flip his. That definitely showed up every day with the coolest school lunch and was just like, whatever. So, like, you'd go to him and be like, yo, you don't want that. You don't want your crunch bar with your lunchables. Right? And he'd be like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. But then you'd go to his house for a play date, and he would just ruin your life by being good at Mario Kart. And she'd be like, I'm just good

[Ant]

that you last part was pretty accurate. For sure.

[Frank]

Did you cry in school? Oh, you fucking crier.

[Ant]

I don't think So I cried once cuz I thought I failed a test. And I was like, in second grade, brother.

[Joe]

Second grade. You cried because you failed a test?

[Ant]

I thought.

[Frank]

I thought he failed the test. Let me tell you, first of all, second grade, I cried over one thing, and it was the girl at that time that I liked. I told her that, and then I cried.

[Ant]

Oh, I did that too.

[Joe]

Same girl. I.

[Frank]

She.

[Joe]

We probably told this story before he was on the show at all.

[Frank]

There's so many stories you don't know about us, dude. Just come and hang with us.

[Joe]

So there's this girl that Frank liked, and he told her that he liked her, and then. Then he cried right after he told her.

[Frank]

I went up to her. I was wearing a Pokemon shirt, which. So radical.

[Ant]

Which Pokemon?

[Joe]

Bulbasaur.

[Frank]

The Bulbasaur line.

[Ant]

Oh, that's why you didn't get it. All right, continue.

[Joe]

He said it.

[Frank]

That's. That's insane.

[Joe]

Had it been a Charmander, we don't know how it could have gone.

[Ant]

That's what.

[Joe]

That's what I'm saying.

[Frank]

You know what? That is fair. But she didn't care about that. She cared about, you know, S Club 7 or, you know, I cared about that. Okay, sorry.

[Ant]

What grade was this? I'm sorry.

[Frank]

Second grade.

[Joe]

Yeah, got it.

[Ant]

Go.

[Frank]

And I went up to her in class, and I was just like, you know, it's crazy because, you know, I said something. I was like. Because I like, like you, you know, Immediately started to cry. Yeah, immediately.

[Joe]

It was him.

[Frank]

Big moment.

[Ant]

Wait, why?

[Joe]

He just confessed and he felt it

[Frank]

was a big moment for me. Dude, that was the first time I told a girl I liked her, Bro.

[Joe]

Telling a girl you liked her?

[Frank]

That was basically like diving in the Mariana's Trench. Yeah, it was big. It was dangerous, free, solo. Who gives a. You.

[Ant]

You said you liked her. No response, and you started crying.

[Joe]

I think he cried before she could even utter a response.

[Frank]

That's probably fair and true.

[Joe]

Yeah, it was kind of like in tandem. It happened. He put his face in his shirt and cried.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

He may have been going for the pity thing, but we don't know how good chance.

[Frank]

More likely that I was than wasn't, if we're being honest.

[Joe]

Yeah. It could have been something.

[Frank]

And at the end of the day, we would always get, like. With, like, our spelling words. We would get, like, crossword puzzles with, like, our spelling words. Remember spelling tests? And I remember I, like, went up to her. I was like, I'm finishing mine.

[Joe]

You need help.

[Frank]

And Joe's like, oh, because she's your girlfriend and I. I mean, I said that. Yeah. What a scumbag douchebag, dude. And you saw I turned around, I was like, you douchebag. Second grade. Second grade, douchebag.

[Joe]

But then in fourth grade, sane girl was in our class and I forgot what it was about. But she was like, you keep doing that, I'm gonna tell on you. I was like, I don't care. Tell on me. Yeah, she told on me.

[Frank]

Balls. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah. I cried my eyes out.

[Ant]

Called. Called your bluff.

[Frank]

Yeah, she called my bluff. She was not to be trifled with. I remember like, like all the teachers liked her. And it low key.

[Joe]

Fast.

[Frank]

Mad fast, dude.

[Joe]

She was like a horse, dude.

[Frank]

She was mad, mad, mad fast.

[Joe]

Yeah, she was like an athlete.

[Frank]

Yo. I don't know what it was. The girls in our class were like, quick, bro. Jamie, I like, basically fast as, dude.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Bridget, she was. We had a class. Lauren Betancourt, we had a class with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want me to do about that?

[Joe]

It's fine.

[Frank]

Yeah, I mean, we're just giving her props, dude. Yeah, we're just saying. We're just giving her props. She was a crazy ass elementary school school, the cuz. Like I firmly, firmly, you know, stand by this. It was like the Lisa Leslie of athletes in our school. The Serena Williams.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Jane. Oh, my God, bro. This girl at tennis Sabalenko, she dead ass was no, like insane. We were like four years old. She's catching cash.

[Joe]

She was nice.

[Frank]

Also, you probably don't know the story,

[Joe]

but I like Jane.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe]

And I told her. I was like, do you like me? And she's like, I'm gonna write it on the desk. This was first grade and she wrote it in script. I didn't learn scripts until third grade.

[Frank]

So I was like, he still doesn't know.

[Joe]

I was like, no, she's drawing roller coasters.

[Frank]

Like, what the is this? But yeah, bro, they were quick, dude.

[Joe]

He had his athletes, bro.

[Frank]

Jamie was basically Michael Jordan.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

Like, like was like balling up with dudes at fourth grade and like slamming Jason.

[Joe]

And then Lauren. Lauren was like Brittany Griner, dude. Like, she was like just backing me down.

[Frank]

Like, to me, tall as.

[Joe]

I know this didn't happen, but it

[Frank]

felt like she could dunk if, like not. And we were in third grade, but

[Joe]

it felt like she could.

[Frank]

Not only could she dunk, she could throw an Araldis Chapman fucking fastball, dude. I remember playing ass at the wall and she would fucking cock back and Throw this ball harder than any person I've ever seen. Low key.

[Joe]

You know who was fast? Najat, bro.

[Frank]

Najat was the queen, yo.

[Joe]

She could cover ground out there, bro. Crazy.

[Frank]

If pole vaulting was available, she could have done it standing up.

[Joe]

You know what steal the bacon is?

[Ant]

Yeah, I think so.

[Joe]

You either know or you don't.

[Frank]

There's one rule in the whole game.

[Ant]

You got to steal the ball in the middle or something.

[Frank]

Yeah, yeah, you like.

[Joe]

You call a number. Yeah, you kind of do that, bro. We're talking about legends at steal the bacon. You're never catching them, bro.

[Frank]

We did something called line soccer, okay? You would take four classes of fourth graders and line them up on either side of the gin. So you know what? 60 kids on each side. And the idea was like, same thing. They'd be like 9 and 14, and 9 and 14 would run into the middle. They'd have to get the soccer ball and, like dribble it. With plan B, emergency contraception. We're in control of our future. It's backup birth control. You take after unprotected sex. That helps prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[Joe]

It works by temporarily delaying ovulation and it won't impact your future fertility. Plan B is available in all 50

[Frank]

US states at all major retailers near you with no ID, prescription or age requirement needed. Together we've got this. Follow Plan B on insta at Plan B. One step to learn more. Use as directed and try to get it past the line of kids. Dude, how's that possible? It is, because I'll tell you how. When you had fucking Mia Hamm. Lauren. Lauren. I'm not gonna drop it. Just like it. Lauren Bedcorn, she's getting her flowers today. Yeah. Yeah, she kicked that ball, bro. Kids ran the opposite way. Yeah, she was getting a free goal because she kicked that crazy. First of all, if she was kicking

[Joe]

at me, I'm like, bro, I gotta go to math. I'm not getting in front of this thing.

[Frank]

You remember, you remember in Super Mario Strikers when you do like this super move and like, Mario would back and have like a flaming foot? Yeah, that's what this chick was like, dude. She let that. Bro. She let that fly, dude.

[Joe]

But also Dennis, our friend Dennis, bro, he would kick that ball. I'm not kidding. I would get out of the way.

[Frank]

Today he was in fourth grade, yo. The only thing that I was able to. I, as a, like, teenager, would wear Timberland boots to go play kickball to replicate what 8 year old Dennis was kicking. Same With Lauren. And like, that's why growing up, like, the whole idea of just like, girls are not good at sports, I was like, that is so far from. You don't know the girls that we grew up with. Yeah. Because they were fucking balling up and they were throwing hard. They were faster than most of the people I've ever met in my entire life.

[Joe]

That's so fucking funny.

[Frank]

Flaming foot. Everyone's like, oh, fuck, look out. And like, it would like what I imagine if it hits someone, it sounded like when you go bowling and like it hits the pins. Yeah, that sound right behind you is

[Joe]

just a brick wall. Not a brick wall.

[Frank]

No. Yeah, I guess brick wall, brother.

[Joe]

And this ball would hit the wall and it would just sound like the loudest slap. Yeah. And like we played dodgeball once and then our teacher was like, never again.

[Frank]

We're not doing this. Yo, we played this game. This is so fucking funny.

[Joe]

Hold on, hold on. Let me do the editing. Because we do, speaking of sports, we

[Frank]

do have prize picks. We have prize picks. Okay?

[Joe]

Prize picks. It's simple to play. You just pick more or less on a two to six player stat projection. So baseball is here as of today, I think, or yesterday, I don't know. And you can go in there and say, okay, is Aaron Judge going to have more or less than one hit or something like that? Or you can, you do that for two to six players or something like that and you could win some money. And it's across all sports. It's not just baseball. You can do ufc, you could do football, you could do hockey. Whatever it is, whatever's in season, they got it mostly. So all you have to do is pick more or less. So very easy to understand. Two to six people and you get a lot of money. It's a lot of fun. And it's a simple way to spice up, you know, whenever you're watching the game. It is America's number one sports picks app. So download prize picks app today and use the code Basement to get 50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That is Code Basement to get 50 in lineups AFTER you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. And lastly here we have Zbiotics. Okay, Zbiotics, I'm super excited to have this as a sponsor because I won all of the product in the world. But Zebiotics, it's a pre alcohol probiotic drink. It's the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Okay. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for the hangovers and the rough days and stuff like that. So this pre alcohol, it produces an enzyme to break down the byproduct so that you have an easier morning for you. Okay? So if you're planning on consuming some alcohol responsibly, you take one of these beforehand and then you drink and the next morning you should feel better. Okay? So you can go to zebiotics.com basement to learn more and get 15% off of your first order. When you use basement at checkout, Zebiotics is backed with a 100% money back guarantee. So if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zebiotics.com basement and use the code BASEMENT at checkout for 15 off. I've used these before on like bachelor parties. And you're like, all right, I know this is going to be tough here, but take a little zbiotic, get after it. Next morning, you're good. All right, so zbiotics.com basement get that 15% off, off. All right.

[Frank]

Boom.

[Joe]

Okay.

[Frank]

I'm glad you had the AD break there, cuz I was too excited.

[Joe]

What were you gonna, yo, what were you gonna say?

[Frank]

I don't know if we were the only ones that had this game, but our gym class had a full on like March Madness bracket style game that we played called Nukem. And imagine like volleyball, but like, you didn't need to hit it, you could grab it and throw it. Yo, these girls were jumping as high as the net and launching that down at us. Yeah, and you got out the way because if not, you were in big time trouble.

[Joe]

You think like when you're younger, the girls, they mature so much faster than the boys. Yeah, especially me. I was tiny. And then you had like, basically I, I, dude, I'm not kidding. It's just my experience. But when you're younger. But it really felt like they were the monsters, yo. Like it felt like they were huge. Seriously.

[Frank]

That's why, like that mentality of just like girls. What sports? What the fuck? Fifth grade, brother, exists for us. Not fifth grade. Because like, yo, I feel like there was a more of a, like more girls in our class were better at good were good at sports than boys in our class were good at sports. Am I bugging on that one I don't even know. I mean like who are the boy like. Like who were like the. Our grade boy athletes? It was like you, Dennis, Cody. Like I can't forgot about that kid. I can't remember anyone's last name. No, we'll find it though.

[Joe]

Oh, I try to. I was thinking Yelnats.

[Frank]

I'm like, that's a different Stanley Yell Nats from holes. Yep.

[Joe]

That's not it. But wow, Cody, I didn't even. Haven't even thought about that so long. That's funny.

[Frank]

They were like 12 girls that could ball the up for some reason.

[Joe]

Yeah, those are the days. But yeah, Nukem dude used to take it so seriously.

[Frank]

You remember our team?

[Joe]

The Dragons?

[Frank]

Bloody Dragons. The Bloody Dragons, yeah, we were the Bloody Dragons. And we beat in the championship the undefeated team of the Unbeatables.

[Joe]

Pretty beatable.

[Ant]

When in my middle school it was St. Margaret's Dragons.

[Joe]

Uh huh.

[Ant]

And you went to St. Margaret's I went St. Margaret's yeah. Cool. And for.

[Frank]

Where's that?

[Joe]

I played them in basketball when I

[Ant]

was younger and they released merch at some point and the school. The school did and St. Margaret's Dragons was SMD.

[Frank]

And that's crazy.

[Ant]

And they released it and obviously all the kids knew and so you could do smd, Grandma. Smd.

[Frank]

No.

[Ant]

Yeah, you could do all that. I bought so many things immediately. The next day they took it all off the store. But I got it.

[Joe]

Suck my dear. Grandma's crazy.

[Ant]

I was wearing it.

[Frank]

Wait, why would they put that if you're the lions? What?

[Joe]

Are you even listening? I said dragons.

[Ant]

St. Margaret's Dragons.

[Frank]

You didn't say lions. No, I heard lions for some reason. I was so confused. Yeah, no, SMD.

[Joe]

St. Margaret's Dragons.

[Frank]

What were you. What was your. What was St. Francis Prep? You were the Terriers. The non scariest dog on the planet.

[Joe]

Annoying though.

[Frank]

Annoying. Which everyone from that school pretty much was.

[Ant]

It wasn't. It wasn't the coolest mascot.

[Frank]

It definitely was not.

[Ant]

No, no it wasn't.

[Frank]

We were a dog.

[Joe]

Yeah, it was worse back in the day because like when my brother went, it was just like a paw print. Like now there's like a dog.

[Frank]

Now it's just a smaller dog, dude.

[Joe]

But it's like the dog looks like a little cooler, but a paw print and not like a cool paw print. It was just like a dog paw print.

[Frank]

Oh, that's. That sucks. That sucks. Well, middle school.

[Joe]

Clemson is.

[Ant]

I was gonna say that's what Clemson.

[Frank]

Well, no, no, the paw print's cool. I'm fine with that. I like Clemson. But they're the Clemson Tigers. They're not the little kitty cats. That's true. You know, you're. That's like the St. Francis Prep poodles. You might as well be. We. I.

[Joe]

Honestly. Yeah.

[Frank]

My. My. My two high school mascots were cool. So the first one was the Sting, and it was a. It was a hornet.

[Ant]

A terrier beats the out of a hornet, brother.

[Frank]

Terrier beats the out. What do you think has killed more people in this world? The sting from a hornet or a terrier?

[Ant]

That's a better point.

[Joe]

And then you were the Owls.

[Frank]

The Owls. I love owls.

[Ant]

First of all, dragons take out all those.

[Frank]

Sure.

[Ant]

Dragons take out all those.

[Frank]

Lions beat everybody, though.

[Joe]

Who's the Lions?

[Frank]

Lie on your back and take these dicks.

[Joe]

You said lions.

[Frank]

Oh, What?

[Joe]

You said the Lions. Lions. Lions, your back.

[Frank]

Lions, your back.

[Joe]

First of all, take these dicks.

[Frank]

Frankie, can you hit him with a.

[Ant]

Got him. Please?

[Frank]

Got him so good. I panicked. I'm sorry. I didn't think it was actually going to fall. Every time you get me I it up, I panic a little bit. Lions, your back. And suck my. Both of my dicks.

[Ant]

I was debating about getting you guys with the dragons, but I already. I already.

[Frank]

You can't.

[Joe]

You can't double.

[Ant]

I can't double.

[Frank]

You already did Imagine Dragons.

[Ant]

Yeah. Can't double dragons.

[Frank]

You can't double Dragon. I'm on a hot streak.

[Ant]

Well, he got you pretty bad last time. He also did a flashy thing at the camera. That was meme. So. I mean, he's winning.

[Frank]

Yeah, that was absolutely good. But, yeah, I like the Owls. I think the Owls is a cool one.

[Ant]

You know what? You were trying to get that Lions in too much. I should have picked that up.

[Frank]

Yeah, I'm shocked you didn't. Yeah, I honestly, that's why I didn't make contact eye contact with you, because I thought you'd be like, oh, I see.

[Joe]

Oh, that's what you're doing.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah, 100%.

[Joe]

I thought maybe you were, like, just so focused on fifth grade.

[Frank]

Yeah. And then my college mascot were the Chargers. It was a cool horse. Horse. Yeah. A charger is a horse. Like a Dodge Charger.

[Joe]

Is it?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I thought the challenger was the horse.

[Frank]

No, a charger. Mustang.

[Ant]

Oh, the mustang.

[Frank]

Mustang.

[Ant]

That's what I'm thinking about. Mustang. Never mind. Yeah, you're right. Wait, I don't know if the Charger's a horse, though. I know, mustang chargers are horses.

[Joe]

Like, that's a breed of horse?

[Frank]

I believe so.

[Ant]

I gotcha.

[Joe]

I have no idea.

[Frank]

I don't know if they're like, official scientific name is like, Chargianus horse in Topolis or something, but, like, probably isn't.

[Ant]

I would count that. Don't worry.

[Frank]

That just sounds like a Greek horse.

[Joe]

Chargianus. Chargiana, yeah.

[Ant]

Term for strong, swift horse.

[Frank]

Charger.

[Ant]

Yep. Specifically a war horse.

[Joe]

What is. What did you. That might be your best one.

[Frank]

I like the owls, though. Owls. And the colors were the same. It was blue and yellow.

[Joe]

Blue and yellow.

[Frank]

We had a toy. We had the smurfield. They went D1 recently.

[Joe]

What's St. Mark's Blue, red.

[Frank]

Red.

[Joe]

Oh, with white.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

And then you guys are red and blue, right?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

St. Francis Prep. Oh, my God. So boring.

[Joe]

St. Francis, too, of a. I guess they're like.

[Frank]

They're like older brother and older cousin.

[Joe]

I don't think they're related at actually.

[Frank]

Oh, wow.

[Joe]

I didn't even. Yeah.

[Frank]

How would that not. How they not be related?

[Joe]

Mad saints, dude. I don't know. They're saints of everything.

[Frank]

Well, they. St. Francis. It's not like, of prep. It's just prep.

[Joe]

No school.

[Frank]

Like, it's prepping you for.

[Joe]

I'm aware, but, like, there's, like, St. Francis of Assissi, and then maybe there could be, like, a St. Francis of whatever.

[Frank]

What is of a.

[Joe]

A sissy is like, a place. Oh.

[Frank]

I always thought of it as just like, you're a.

[Ant]

You thought that's what they would name a school?

[Frank]

No, I know, but that's what we named people. Like, we knew, like, a bunch of our friends went there to be like, you're a.

[Joe]

Did you call your sister that?

[Frank]

Sissy as a kid?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I think my brothers still do, which is weird.

[Joe]

I think you still do.

[Frank]

No, I really, definitely do not. You make that abundantly clear.

[Ant]

Is Sissy weird? I don't, but it's just.

[Frank]

It's like a kid version of Sister. It's just like. I don't think it's weird as a child, but, like, if you're like, 33 years old and saying, like, hey, sissy. Yeah, I guess when we grow up,

[Joe]

I mean, you tummy. You say tummy.

[Frank]

Well, I have kids now.

[Joe]

Yeah, but you say it to not kids.

[Frank]

But when you have kids, some of the vernacular bleeds into the rest of your life. You'll see it one day. Like, you'll see something, and you'll just be like, what? What?

[Joe]

You'll See it's just mad aggressive.

[Frank]

You'll see it.

[Joe]

Jesus Christ.

[Ant]

You'll see it one day. Yeah, I think you will hear it one day.

[Joe]

What does that mean?

[Ant]

The words. What are we talking about?

[Frank]

What are you talking about?

[Joe]

And you pointed to your ear because you hear it. I know what ears are.

[Ant]

Oh, okay.

[Joe]

Sorry.

[Frank]

Lie on the back. I take these dicks.

[Joe]

Take these dicks. Lions, your backs. That's not even fair.

[Frank]

It's close enough. Lion, lie on your back.

[Ant]

I haven't heard of it. I like it. I like its creativity.

[Joe]

It's great.

[Frank]

Yeah. If anything, it's double points because of how fucking good it was.

[Joe]

I mean, you said. I said lions. Lion. Why did I say it?

[Frank]

Like. I mean, come on. You. Oh, just because you didn't specifically say lie in you. Plural. Pluralized it.

[Joe]

Isn't that the whole point?

[Ant]

It's close. It's like, we can let them decide.

[Frank]

I mean, he's got. He's 300 bucks in the hole now, so that's why he's trying to defend himself. Whoa.

[Joe]

I'm 200 bucks. Bucks in the hole. This is out of play. That's out of bounds, buddy.

[Frank]

Why is that one out of.

[Ant]

Oh, that's out of bounds.

[Frank]

How the hell is that out of bounds?

[Joe]

Yeah, you did it during a Santa

[Frank]

got a studios video. That's like, who cares? When it was done, it was done. The rules are the rules. You didn't make of them technical.

[Joe]

Frank, we talked about it on the show.

[Ant]

Yeah, I have the rules.

[Frank]

We have to pull up the tape.

[Joe]

You've called me a. Outside of the show, and we're not marking it down.

[Ant]

That's a good point. That's a good point.

[Frank]

When have I.

[Joe]

All the time.

[Frank]

No, when. Can you recall a time that I have called you a bitch outside of the show?

[Joe]

I can. What would you. How would you like me to answer? You want to re bet?

[Frank]

No, I definitely pre bet. No, but, like, outside of the show. No way.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Senegal Studios. One can't count. Can't.

[Joe]

Oh, you want to go through the videos? You think you never called me a bitch in a Santa Gala studios video.

[Frank]

Never since that. The fucking thing has come out. Never since we made that bet.

[Joe]

I'm not gonna watch.

[Frank]

Maya, do us a favor. Put it together. Maya. There's almost no. I could. I could almost guarantee. And if I'm wrong, every one of those words. I almost said it. That I used to prove your point. You could count them as two. Eight. No,

[Joe]

eight.

[Ant]

Always kneeling.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

This guy. You can't ever take a. I get it.

[Joe]

I'm going to burp you.

[Frank]

All right.

[Ant]

You're gonna burp?

[Joe]

No, it's just air's coming out of me.

[Ant]

You want me to come over there and burp you?

[Joe]

I don't know why. I'm like a cat that's about to throw up.

[Ant]

I could burp you.

[Frank]

You burp them like a baby.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I think that works for humans.

[Frank]

Does it? I don't think it works for. Works for babies. No, I don't. I think they say that, like, you're not supposed to do that.

[Joe]

Smack their back.

[Frank]

I vaguely remember that from when I had two young babies.

[Ant]

Don't you? Hold.

[Joe]

I feel like you should have a definitive answer, right?

[Frank]

Well, you forget, you know, like, did you do it?

[Joe]

It.

[Frank]

I did. I did rubs like this. I did rubs.

[Ant]

Yeah, it's like pats.

[Joe]

Getting your back rubbed.

[Frank]

So good.

[Joe]

So good.

[Frank]

So good, dude.

[Joe]

You don't like getting rubbed?

[Ant]

You know what? I don't like my shoulders getting rubbed. I hate that.

[Joe]

Why? Like, you haven't gotten a massage?

[Ant]

No, I've never got a massage.

[Joe]

Well, you've never gotten a massage.

[Ant]

I've never gone to a. Either way. I. When you, like, you know, people come behind your back and start doing, like, your shoulders. Yeah, I don't. I just don't like it.

[Frank]

Really? Yeah.

[Ant]

Feels weird.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Well, you got to get a massage. You got to go to a spa.

[Frank]

No, I'm not going to a spa with you. I didn't even say it. But we knew what you were going to say. Don't for a single second pretend you weren't going to suggest that we do it together or force it out of the.

[Joe]

It is a. It is a solo experience or with a female companion experience. Yeah. Or a male companion, however you choose.

[Frank]

Or a non binary, however you want to.

[Joe]

Companionize. Is that a word?

[Frank]

Love it.

[Joe]

Thank you. It's one of those things. I've never had cucumbers on my eyes, but that I'd love.

[Frank]

I would like it, but also not because I just want to eat them.

[Joe]

You know what I want to do? Well, eat them after, right?

[Frank]

Just.

[Joe]

Yeah, I want to go to. What's it called when they, like, get a facial. All right, take it easy. I mean, jokes aside, you know what I mean? Like, I want to, like. Like a mask, maybe some mud.

[Frank]

You can do it at home.

[Joe]

No, I know, but I want to go to a place in, like.

[Frank]

I know where you want to go. You want to go to the steam. Ya. I. Dude, my. My barber does that. He steams you. They literally put this big. Careful.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank]

Big arm. Like, they, like, wheel it over and they put it right here right before they do my. My. My shave. And they turn it on and steam just all over my face for, like, 10 minutes. It's to, like, open up the pores, and then they do the hot towel.

[Ant]

We're in a jokes aside zone, so.

[Joe]

Don't worry.

[Ant]

Don't worry.

[Frank]

No jokes right now.

[Ant]

We've called timeout, but it's just, like, steam.

[Joe]

Yeah, that's kind of nice.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's really good.

[Joe]

Does he do, like, a raisin? He cuts you up.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ant]

Nice.

[Frank]

They do. They do here. They do here. They do. It's actually a girl. The two that I've gotten at this. Oh, yeah.

[Joe]

You don't go to the same one.

[Frank]

I don't care that much. Whoa. I don't care.

[Joe]

That's interesting.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Where do you get your hair cut? Not where, but, like, you go to, like, one person.

[Ant]

Yeah, like one person. If they're not there, I'll go home.

[Frank]

Really? Call you.

[Joe]

Not on a. You're not on a. Yeah.

[Ant]

If I. I call. Well, sometimes I'm walking by and say,

[Joe]

all right, what's her name?

[Frank]

What's the name?

[Ant]

Eddie.

[Joe]

Eddie, bro. It's always Eddie.

[Frank]

It is Eddie.

[Ant]

I don't know if that's the real name, to be fair.

[Frank]

Oh, I think ours.

[Joe]

How would that not.

[Frank]

The butchers. One of them was Eddie, right?

[Joe]

Yeah. The Russian butcher.

[Frank]

That's what we call the guys. My guy's Russia.

[Ant]

Yeah. My guy's Russian.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I'm saying they're already. That's what I'm saying. They're all Eddie, bro.

[Joe]

Also, another thing about it, he's probably right, because on Dip Mars, that's Eddie's, too. Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Frank]

And there's, like, Eddie's. Eddie's two, Eddie's three.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

What the hell? Eddie's got a strong. They got a chokehold on the haircutting game.

[Joe]

Maybe it's like a. It's like the American version of a name. In Russia that's common.

[Ant]

That's what I'm saying.

[Frank]

I'm not like, one of those guys that, like, I need to get my haircut by the same person every single time, but you build. Build a rapport. Yeah. But also, like, I don't care enough about my hair.

[Ant]

See, it's just a luxury because you have nice hair. Like, you. You could do whatever you want.

[Joe]

Yeah, I could cut your Hair.

[Ant]

Yeah, you'll. It'll be fine.

[Frank]

I didn't pay for haircuts for years. I used to get em. Buzzed in college, like, by my roommate. And then after, I just grew my hair out for years.

[Joe]

Yeah, I did the same. I. My brother cut.

[Frank]

Yeah, I remember. Your brother would do it in the bathroom.

[Joe]

Like, 10 years.

[Frank]

Who cares, dude? Really?

[Joe]

Yeah. I mean, after a while, he hated it.

[Frank]

How much to get you to shave your head?

[Joe]

No chance in hell.

[Frank]

Really?

[Joe]

No.

[Frank]

Why?

[Joe]

Insecurity. You'd look good with a shaved head.

[Frank]

Yeah, you'd look like more like Channing Tatum than you already do.

[Joe]

I'm good.

[Ant]

It works for you. Because you could grow a beard.

[Frank]

Rip.

[Joe]

Not like that, but.

[Ant]

But, like, even that is good. I can't.

[Frank]

Yeah, you bald. I can't.

[Ant]

I just. I can't.

[Frank]

It would be.

[Ant]

I'm also afraid it won't come back.

[Frank]

You'd be.

[Joe]

You'd be like, Fester, kind of.

[Ant]

Yeah, I can't do that.

[Frank]

You know, he didn't have to bring it to that level.

[Joe]

What, bald?

[Ant]

No, bald. No beard. What are you supposed to do?

[Frank]

You would look like Uncle Fester.

[Ant]

It happens.

[Joe]

I mean, you wouldn't have the. Like.

[Ant]

I got a little more color, I think.

[Joe]

A lot more color, whatever that is.

[Ant]

More color.

[Frank]

There are some distinguishing characteristics that would make you look enough. Not like Uncle Fester, but be close.

[Joe]

Do you think you got a lumpy head?

[Ant]

Maybe.

[Joe]

I felt my head, and I'm like, oh, my God.

[Frank]

I felt my head recently, and I was like, what is that, a lump? It's like a little bump.

[Ant]

Yeah, I got something, too.

[Joe]

I think, like, heads are lumpy. Some people got perfectly round heads, and I'm like, bro, what is.

[Frank]

I. I'm thankful every day I don't have my father's head. That guy's head.

[Joe]

It's all over his place.

[Frank]

Disaster, dude.

[Joe]

It's like.

[Frank]

Like a bro. It's like here and then it flat on the back. Like he didn't, like, pick up his head.

[Joe]

Not a lot of tummy time. I see.

[Frank]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, forget about this. Guy had no tummy time, and now he's got too much tummy time. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe]

Yeah. Do I. He needed a helmet.

[Frank]

He definitely needed a helmet. My father. He probably still does.

[Joe]

I like when babies have the helmets.

[Frank]

I think it's cute. Oh, I love. Yeah. When kids have those helmets.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You put stickers on them and stuff. I heard they smell bad, though.

[Joe]

They stink, dude. Really? Yeah. My nephew had one. And it smelled like what, the kids.

[Frank]

Helmets.

[Joe]

It's like a helmet. Because if. Because children, like, their heads are still, like, malleable, so if they're laying on their back a lot, then it flattens their heads. You need a helmet to, like, shape it. So that's, like, circular.

[Ant]

I meant. I meant more. That's good to know. But I meant more. Why does it smell?

[Joe]

Because they're both babies, bro.

[Frank]

They're kids, and they're running around and sweating.

[Ant]

Got it.

[Joe]

And.

[Frank]

And it's made of a foam, too, so it's not like an easily cleaned situation.

[Joe]

I mean, it's like a. There's like a rubberiness to it. It's not like foam.

[Frank]

I'll be honest with you. If I was a kid and I had that helmet, I'm diving off of tables and stuff like that. I thank God I didn't have it, because I would have taken full advantage of that.

[Joe]

You know what stinks? Casts. Yeah, children have casts. Casts.

[Ant]

Oh, that makes me sad.

[Joe]

Keith had a cast. Well, that makes me cut that thing open. I was like, look at this.

[Frank]

Yeah. Miles had a cast, but I wasn't there when they cut it off. So I don't know if it smelled, but I imagine it did.

[Joe]

And then also, like, your skin is so, like. It's like seeing the light of day for the first time, and it's like, oh. Oh.

[Frank]

I do kind of like when you have a band aid on, though, and then, like, you take it off and it's white. It's like, white and shriveled, and it's like, yeah. Well, you were finally stepping out of the cave.

[Joe]

Yeah. I'm like, ew, I have a dead part of my finger. Yeah, you like that?

[Frank]

I kind of do.

[Joe]

Why?

[Frank]

I like to look at it and just be like, you're new.

[Joe]

You're new.

[Frank]

You're new here.

[Ant]

I get it a little bit.

[Joe]

I don't.

[Frank]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ant]

Yeah. It is new there.

[Frank]

Yeah, it is.

[Joe]

You like Band Aids?

[Frank]

I'm good. I'm good on Band Aids. What's the worst?

[Joe]

That's not how I wanted to ask the question. I like Band Aids, right?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Like having them on me.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah. But if a band aid gets on me in the pool, oh, that's bad.

[Frank]

I. That's really.

[Joe]

Outside of a log of shit, that's probably the worst thing I want to find in a pool.

[Frank]

I would honestly probably be more afraid of the band aid than the log of shit.

[Joe]

I honestly didn't want to Say that cuz I was embarrassed. I think I feel this.

[Frank]

I got you. I'll support you through this.

[Joe]

Like, if the log of shit, like bumped into my elbow, I would for sure be upset. Yeah, but if a band aid touched me, I'd be like, no.

[Frank]

I know that there is like germs and bacteria that can come off a log of, but it just feels like the ones on the band aid are more dangerous.

[Joe]

So much worse.

[Frank]

Way worse. Like a B.

[Joe]

Like if I. Oh my God, dude. I'm just like picturing this. Like if I'm in a pool, like having fun and someone's like, hey, you got a band aid on you? And I look and it's just been on me and I don't know how long it's been on me. I'd be like, oh my God. Yeah, your.

[Frank]

Your day's ruined.

[Joe]

I just can't.

[Frank]

Your whole trip is ruined. Probably knowing Joey, a loose band aid.

[Joe]

Oh my God.

[Frank]

Loose band aid sucks. That was the. When we remember years ago, we did that bean boozled video.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

That was the worst of all those bean boozled flavors. That was definitely the worst one because it's like, how in God's name did they perfectly get the taste and flavor? Something that I just don't even ever remember having put in my mouth.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's just like the smell of it. Oh, and like the presence of a band aid. It just smells like something mean. They did have throw up and I didn't like that.

[Frank]

The throw up was bad.

[Joe]

Oh, I got the spoiled milk.

[Frank]

Spoiled milk was bad. But the used band aid one was. I was like astonished at how bad it was.

[Ant]

You know, you guys are right. We're probably due for a bean boozled one.

[Joe]

Also. You know what I love? K Pop Demon Hunters Haja Boys Breakfast

[Frank]

meal and Hunt tricks meal have just dropped at McDonald's.

[Joe]

They're calling this a battle for the fans.

[Frank]

What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Participate in McDonald's while supplies last of Ace bandages.

[Joe]

Oh, I'm looking for a reason why.

[Frank]

I was gonna say, were you the kid in high school that wore them? Just be like, oh, are you limped into class? People are like, oh my God, Joey, what's wrong?

[Joe]

I would put them around my wrists mostly, not my legs.

[Frank]

Your wrist?

[Joe]

Yeah, like, I would like. Oh, my wrist is fucked up, dude. It would be nothing. I mean, like, any sort of discomfort. I need Ace Masters.

[Frank]

I'm 90% sure that Ace bandages are not like a real thing. Like, I know they are, but, like, they're just like an assistant aesthetics thing.

[Joe]

No, they're like, tight.

[Frank]

Yeah, but what's the point of keeping

[Joe]

of like, it's like a soft cast.

[Frank]

But it's not though.

[Joe]

I mean, if you rapid enough.

[Frank]

ACE bandages are stupid.

[Joe]

I also think they're supposed to be under other things and then, like, you

[Frank]

have to wrap them the right way or so get out of here, dude. Don't make me have to be a doctor and a kid.

[Joe]

Have you ever. Have you ever put like, boxing wraps on your finger on your hands? No. Oh, man, that feels so good.

[Frank]

Taking them off.

[Joe]

No, like, I mean, putting them on is a little annoying because it's like a whole thing, but when you start going through your fingers, like this part. Oh, I brought this up the other day when I was like, when you get a hot towel, how do you guys do it? And I didn't even bring up the part that I do, but, like, I just do my hands. I don't do my face, but I just do my hands. And then I get in between the webs and I really get her going. I love that. This part of my hand, I don't like when. When other things are touching it, but I like when I touch it.

[Frank]

Can I touch it?

[Joe]

No, I would just say I don't like that.

[Frank]

Why not?

[Ant]

How do you hold. How do you hold hands?

[Frank]

Interlocking or I'll do it.

[Joe]

It's not my favorite because of the feeling of like, Oh, I love trapped. I think it's because when I was younger and people be like, play mercy. So I don't like it.

[Frank]

Oh, my God.

[Joe]

I would always avoid it.

[Frank]

That's right.

[Joe]

Because when people would you ever do that with someone, like, play mercy, and they would take your hands and go like this, my friends fingers. Like, I would be like, bro, you remember those kids back in the day? They'd be like, look, I'm double jointed. And they would do this and their finger would look like a witch's.

[Frank]

Yeah, the is that I'm double jointed with my thumb.

[Joe]

Ew, that is so gross.

[Ant]

Wow. Do. Can you put it back on your own or. You have to. Oh, it's so loud.

[Joe]

Ew, she's dancing. You can hear It.

[Ant]

Yeah, I can hear it.

[Joe]

Yeah, bro. I thought.

[Frank]

I thought I was gonna look over

[Joe]

and your thumb was gonna be on the ground.

[Frank]

Oh, I do it with this one, too. I guess I never knew I could do it without pushing it.

[Joe]

I'm just. I can't.

[Frank]

And then you gotta crack it.

[Joe]

Oh.

[Frank]

I could also move my, like, tendon underneath my knuckle.

[Ant]

Ew.

[Joe]

Dude, why are you so cracky?

[Frank]

Was so cool, dude. It's just one of the weird things about me.

[Joe]

I dislocated my thumb once, and the palm. This was like an ear. And the palm of my hand was pitched up like a tent. It was so disgusting. And my dad just was like, you're fine, and pulled my thumb, and it went right back to place, and I was like. It was crazy. It was terrifying. Imagine my thumb went through my hand, brother. I have a hole in my hand.

[Frank]

Like, I remember there was that show on MTV when we were kids called Scarred.

[Joe]

Oh.

[Frank]

And there was one where, like, the guy, like, his finger, like, got, like, pushed so far back that his bone popped out right here or something like that.

[Joe]

So disgusting. You just. So disgusting.

[Ant]

You feel phantom. It's like phantom.

[Frank]

Phantom. Yeah.

[Ant]

Yeah. Had that happen? You fell ball?

[Joe]

No, I was. I was in my front yard, and my sister kicked a kickball at me, and I was, like, trying to block it, and it hit my thumb, and it hurt, but it didn't hurt that bad.

[Ant]

But I was like, ah.

[Joe]

And then I looked at my hand and I started screaming, and she was just like, you're being a fucking baby. And then I was like, look what you did. And then she lost it because I was so. It was so. It was jarring.

[Frank]

I remember as a kid. Remember as a kid, always wearing sandals. I always had sandals, dude. Okay. Always with, like, the Velcro top.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I remember playing kickball with my brothers once.

[Joe]

Oh, no.

[Frank]

And I went to kick, and it caught. Like, if these are my toes, it caught, like, my foot like this. So I just went, oh. And like, New York City concrete. I don't know how concrete is elsewhere.

[Joe]

Probably same, bro.

[Frank]

It was like intense grit sandpaper. Yeah. So my fucking toes came out squeaky, babe.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I like the anticipation of hydrogen peroxide and then the pain and, like.

[Frank]

Oh, you like. It's, like, bubbling up, and you're like, peroxide doesn't hurt. It's rubbing alcohol that hurts.

[Ant]

Whichever one. Whichever one you put, you know? And then it goes.

[Joe]

It's like, also, if it's.

[Frank]

If it's. It's if it's bubbling or itchy. It's because it's healing.

[Joe]

Remember that?

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe]

When. When I've put. Because I have hydrogen peroxide in my apartment, but if I put it on a cut. Feeling how it feels now is so funny, because back then it was, like, the worst pain imaginable, but now it's not that bad.

[Ant]

When I fell off a bike once and I skidded, like, this whole part, you know, it's like, a little fleshy.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

And I put hydrogen peroxide on it, and I had it for the first three seconds, I was like. And then eventually I was just like.

[Joe]

You started making noises like, you just can't.

[Ant]

I couldn't not make noise.

[Frank]

I could see that, bro.

[Joe]

That happened to Keith one time he some. We were playing basketball, and he, like, was running after a loose ball and just, like, fell and just, like, scraped his whole arm. And we were at Josh's house, and his mom put, like, some. I don't know, like, antibacterial thing on it and then wrapped him with ace bandages or whatever, like, gauze or whatever. And he was like, dude, is the worst fucking pain ever.

[Frank]

Because it's like your whole.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Frank]

I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of this because it will make both of you squirm, but I once had gauze stick to a wound.

[Ant]

I've had that.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah, Gross.

[Frank]

Like, I had to remove it.

[Ant]

Yeah, it hurts.

[Joe]

And you pulled it. Do you skin on it, brother.

[Frank]

I. I can't even, like.

[Joe]

Did you scream?

[Frank]

There is so much to this story that is removing a lot of context that I'll tell you guys off air, but, like, it was unbelievably painful. Like, one of the worst pains I've ever experienced in my entire life.

[Joe]

Did you. Do you cry?

[Frank]

If I didn't, I'd be shocked.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Ant]

The closest I've come to passing out was because of pain and that. Because I never understood. Like, in movies when people, like, get hurt and then they pass out, they pass out from the pain. Like, what does that even really mean? But I got. I was in so much pain that my vision started turning into the, like, the staticky screen.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

Like, oh, man, I think I'm going out. I fought. I fought back, but it scared me.

[Frank]

You conquered passing out? Yeah.

[Ant]

I changed the channel.

[Joe]

I did the same thing. I was so embarrassed. I was, like, at the gym, and I was doing incline press, and my nose got itchy, so I went to go like this, and it, like, sent my arm back, and I don't even know really know what happened to my arm, but I had dislocated my shoulder before, so I think, like, it was just something like that. And it, like, really scared me and it hurt. And I screamed bad, loud.

[Frank]

I just went, oh, like that.

[Joe]

And one of my friends was spotting me at the time and didn't say a word. And I stood up and I was like, like. And I. And then I started walking towards the exit. And then the person at the front desk, I like, I would say hi to them all the time. So I was just kind of like. And then I get outside to, like, the cold air, and I, like, sat on the. On the sidewalk and then I, like, I almost passed out. Like, I was seeing the white. And like, I, like, hit the concrete like, mad hard because I was, like, finally sitting down. And then I, like, relaxed and I was in a lot of pain with my shoulder. But then a part of me was like, I can't even go back in there.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Because I screamed and everyone looked at me. And then I just went for the exit.

[Frank]

Like, it was time to leave.

[Joe]

I was like, I can't go back in there.

[Frank]

It was time to go.

[Joe]

It was bad.

[Frank]

I took, like a week off.

[Joe]

I was like, I'm not going back. I don't want people to remember this, but it's so embarrassing.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Ant]

I mean, that sounds scary.

[Joe]

Like the Matrix. It's like.

[Frank]

Yeah, it's a pretty small, like, gym. Oh, you were like, fuck. Oh, man. It's all right. It happens to the best of us, bro.

[Joe]

You know what I did one time that was hilarious. And Dominic was at the gym. You know that it looks like a he. It's not a hex bar, but it's like. It's like a bench bar, but it has these things, like the, like the.

[Frank]

Like this in between. And you can hold.

[Joe]

You can hold it like this.

[Frank]

Yes.

[Joe]

So it, like, makes it very unstable. And you could, like, bench like that.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I had never used that before at this time. And I put just a plate on each side, which at the time was like, too much. Like, I could bench 135 in a regular bench, but I never done with this where it's, like, shaking. Yeah. So I put it on and I take it off. Dominic's on the other side of the bench on this side of the gym. And I'm. And I. I'm getting it up and I'm like, oh, shit. And I didn't put clips on, so it just.

[Frank]

Bang, bang.

[Joe]

Everyone's looking at me and Dominic from across the gym.

[Frank]

Where'd he go? Dickhead. All right.

[Joe]

It's my second most embarrassing moment.

[Frank]

I don't think I had any bad ones in the gym.

[Joe]

I have a video of you doing.

[Frank]

Oh, yeah, Frank's doing like rope, tricep.

[Ant]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Like pull downs or whatever.

[Frank]

And.

[Joe]

But he's using his whole body and going like.

[Frank]

I mean, I was. I remember doing that as an obvious. No.

[Joe]

I know.

[Frank]

Not like seriously working out that way,

[Joe]

but same small gym. And Frank's screaming, going like, humping the thing. I was like, okay, have a good

[Frank]

time anywhere we go.

[Joe]

At the gym.

[Frank]

At the gym. At the, at the, you know, during.

[Joe]

Steal the bacon.

[Frank]

Dirt. Steal the bacon. I was probably not a good time during then. I remember getting called like once. What a thing too. It's like you can only get call. Like you can call like eight kids per class and there's like a hundred kids in there. Yeah. So like crazy. Yeah.

[Joe]

By day. Well, there you have it, folks. That's our episode for today. Frank, where can they find you? Yep.

[Ant]

Aunt Prisco on Instagram.

[Frank]

It's the Frank Alvarez. You go check it out. You go check it out everywhere.

[Joe]

Go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.

[Frank]

This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles you can enjoy. Bold flavors all game long.

[Joe]

No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second in half.

[Frank]

Stock the fridge for tip off with a variety of non alcoholic craft styles. Available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com near Beer Fit for all times.