Transcript

Joe Santagato (0:00)

K Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boy's Breakfast

Frank Alvarez (0:02)

Meal and Hunt Tricks Meal have just dropped at McDonald's.

Joe Santagato (0:05)

They're calling this a battle for the fans.

Frank Alvarez (0:07)

What do you say to that, Rumi?

Joe Santagato (0:09)

It's not a battle.

Frank Alvarez (0:10)

So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share.

Joe Santagato (0:16)

No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Ba da ba ba ba.

Frank Alvarez (0:28)

And participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

Joe Santagato (0:30)

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Good morning. Why are you rubbing your eyes like a baby?

Frank Alvarez (0:45)

Babies don't rub their eyes like that. I don't know why. Who came up with that?

Joe Santagato (0:49)

Cartoons.

Frank Alvarez (0:50)

Why?

Joe Santagato (0:51)

I don't know.

Frank Alvarez (0:51)

Why did cartoons have such stupid ways of, like, waking up?

Joe Santagato (0:54)

I do that. Maybe not you do.

Frank Alvarez (0:56)

You wake up like a cartoon character?

Joe Santagato (0:58)

Not, like, both hands at once.

Frank Alvarez (0:59)

You're like, oh,

Joe Santagato (1:02)

I mean, I do. I definitely.

Frank Alvarez (1:03)

You also. Throw the shades open and like.

Joe Santagato (1:07)

Well, I got a pull. I got to pull them open.

Summary

The Basement Yard #551 – Mr. Gabagool Is Here

April 20, 2026 | Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez, w/ Becca

Episode Overview

This episode of The Basement Yard kicks off with Joe’s surreal airport encounter that yields him a new nickname, “Mr. Gabagool.” What follows is classic Basement Yard chaos: musings on Italian-American identity, airport and friendship gossip, taste-testing revolting KFC jelly beans (to near-vomiting), and deep dives into male G-spot science, mysterious sea creatures, and more. As always, the trio's dynamic is frantic, familiar, and brimming with random tangents and absurd humor.

Joe Becomes "Mr. Gabagool" (03:13)
Discussion: Making Friends & Friend Jealousy (07:01–18:03)
Buying Music, Digital Woes & iTunes Rants (08:54)
Ocean Fears, Sandbars, and Childhood Trauma (19:46–23:43)
Key West Adventures & Confronting Beach Dangers (22:01–24:13)
Live Taste Test: Disgusting KFC Jelly Beans (37:18–52:27)
Male G-spot "Breakthrough" (57:17–65:01)
Cultural Foods, Eggs, and Sea Creature Tangents (72:29–84:18)
Notable Quotes & Moments

1. Joe Becomes "Mr. Gabagool" (03:13)

Joe recounts flying back from Toronto, getting upgraded to first class, and then being loudly addressed by a stranger:
- Joe (03:16): “She looks at me and she goes… ‘Are you Mr. Gabagool?’ Swear to God. She said that to me.”
- Frank is baffled: “I can't for a single second think of anything that would tie you to being Mr. Gabagool.”
The backstory: The woman’s fiancé made a joke (since Joe is Italian and has a podcast, he must be “Mr. Gabagool”), which she took seriously and confronted Joe with.
Later, the fiancé, Jake, sits next to Joe on the way home, leading to an unexpectedly wholesome conversation:
- Joe (07:17): “It was like a rom com. He has my phone number now.”

2. Making Friends & Friend Jealousy (07:01–18:03)

Frank runs a recurring bit about “friend cheating”—Joe forming new friendships and Frank’s mock jealousy:
- Joe (07:41): “He's running this bit again. This is what we're doing now.”
- Frank (12:45): “You’re gonna go have a little fucking quickie in an airport bathroom with this fucking guy. A quickie. A friend quickie.”
Becca probes if Joe and Frank ever sit together and chat on flights; Frank reminisces about a drunken flight to Puerto Rico with “less talking, more drinking.”
Discussion on making random friends: Frank shares a couple of his own encounters (in a sauna and at dinner sharing expensive wine with a stranger).
Riffs on favorite foods, cured meats, and joking about adopting “Mr. Gabagool” as a new podcast persona.

3. iTunes Rants & Buying Music (08:54)

Frank laments digital music purchases:
- Frank (09:20): “I bought songs on iTunes...then I go to play them and they're not available anymore. This is why I'm a big physical media guy.”
He’s teased for buying individual songs in 2026, especially the Jim Croce classic “I’ll Have to Say I Love You in a Song” and Lady Gaga:
- Joe (11:47): "You're a diamond in the rough."
Laughter erupts at Frank’s “old school” habits and confusion about music downloads vs. streaming.

4. Ocean Fears, Sandbars, and Childhood Trauma (19:46–23:43)

Frank shares his ocean anxieties, recalling near-misses with sharks on Miami sandbars.
- Frank (21:28): “That's where sharks hang out. Because idiots like me go and stand on there thinking, like, whoa, this is cool. And then you get your fucking shit ate.”
Joe jokingly describes a local Miami hotel employee warning them about shark-infested waters.
Childhood jellyfish sting traumas lead to talk of peeing as “remedy” (and its debunking).

5. Key West & Beach Dangers (22:01–24:13)

Joe tells of swimming in Key West, encountering an eel and “Too far goggles,” and ignoring a man-o-war warning sign.
The trio riff on the absurd danger of Portuguese man-o-war jellyfish, heroic beach interventions (“I would pee on a person to save them pain,” Joe at 24:03), and accidentally being peed on by kids.

6. Live Taste Test: Disgusting KFC Jelly Beans (37:18–52:27)

Becca brings in KFC-flavored jelly beans (fried chicken, sweet corn, gravy).
The descriptions are colorful and visceral:
- Frank (39:12): “This smells like a highlighter that was just pulled out of an ass.”
- Joe (41:34): “It’s like someone threw up in my mouth.”
The challenge almost ends in real vomit:
- Joe (43:10): “For me, this is up there with 9/11.”
Frank soldiers on, nearly gagging:
- Frank (47:30): “That one was real.”
Group consensus: these are some of the worst-tasting things they've ever encountered.
Joe: “That tastes like someone puked on a wrench and then shit on it.” (47:38)

7. Male G-spot "Breakthrough" (57:17–65:01)

Frank reveals the “male G-spot” is (allegedly) not in the butt, but a previously “undiscovered” area — the “frenular delta,” a triangular zone on the underside of the penis.
- Frank (61:20): “The frenular delta — which sounds like a platoon in an obscure region — is a triangular zone located on the underside of the penis where the head meets the shaft. An area so mysterious it has long been omitted from sexual health textbooks.”
The debate spirals into uppercase/lowercase G-spots, accessibility, and baseline sexual anatomy jokes.
- Becca (63:01): "That's a better way to describe it. I think we have a lowercase and an uppercase case."
The hosts riff on how science finally “found” something everyone already knew.

8. Foods, Eggs, Krakens, and Sea Creature Tangents (72:29–84:18)

The conversation pivots to:
- Eggs: Chicken vs hen vs rooster and fertilization confusion.
- Joe (74:09): “Can you look up what balut is?”
- Eating “delicacies” like fertilized duck eggs, ostrich eggs, century eggs (which they hated).
Ocean and animal tangents follow:
- Joe: “I would love to be on a pirate ship attacked by a giant octopus — not attacked myself, just to watch.”
- Kraken vs real giant squids, blue-ringed octopus, and the alien-like intelligence of octopuses.
Frank’s adopted theory from Becca: “Octopus are aliens... that's the one that'll look at me: that's an alien, dude.”
They Google giant squid facts (“over 43ft long, 600lbs”) and express awe and terror about their existence.
Seaweed and tactile aversions wrap up the tangent: “...like, my teeth are hot. It's like I made out with Foghorn Leghorn.”

9. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Joe, on being mis-identified (03:41):
“Loud, loud. She said this. Mad people around. ‘Are you Mr. Gabagool?’”
Frank (05:24):
“As a prolific, legendary eater of cured meats, I would love to be called Mr. Gabagool.”
Joe, narrating friendly encounter (07:17):
“We talked the entire flight, me and this guy. It was like a rom com. He has my phone number now.”
Joe, on KFC jelly beans (41:34):
“It's like someone threw up in my mouth.”
Frank, on failed G-spot science (61:20):
“A triangular zone located on the underside of the penis…so mysterious it has long been omitted from sexual health textbooks.”
Joe, comparing jelly beans to tragedy (43:10):
“For me, this is up there with 9/11.”
Becca, on scientific discovery (63:01):
“That's a better way to describe it. I think we have a lowercase and an uppercase case.”
Frank, on octopus (80:22):
“Octopus are aliens...that's the one that'll look at me: that's an alien, dude.”
Joe, on balut (74:00):
“If it has a beak, I’m good.”

Timestamps: Important Segments

[03:13] – Joe’s “Mr. Gabagool” airport story
[07:01] – “Friend cheating” rivalry/bit begins
[08:54] – iTunes and digital music woes
[19:46] – Shark, sandbar, and ocean fear stories
[23:39] – Jellyfish stings/peeing legend
[37:18–52:27] – KFC Jelly Bean Taste Test (major highlight)
[57:17–65:01] – Discussion on the male G-spot “frenular delta”
[72:29] – Eggs, balut, and various food/weird animal tangents
[80:22] – Octopus: alien theory and sea creature anxiety
[84:45] – Closing thoughts and where to find the hosts

Tone & Language

The episode is classic Basement Yard—loud, conversational, absurd, and peppered with wild metaphors, tangential humor, and explicit, very informal language. The friendship dynamic, with its faux-jealousy and inside jokes, powers the flow. The KFC jelly bean bit is a physical comedy set piece — you can almost hear the gagging.

Summary Takeaways

"Mr. Gabagool" is now an accidental nickname for Joe, spawning much joking on Italian-American stereotypes and podcaster image.
Jelly bean taste-testing results in universal disgust and near-vomiting: “For me, this is up there with 9/11.” (Joe, 43:10)
The trio’s take on male G-spot science is both juveniley skeptical and surprisingly detailed, culminating in the lore of the “frenular delta.”
Anecdotes span from awkward public recognition, parenthood, music nostalgia, ocean/bird factoids, to musings on aliens and giant squids.
The humor is irreverent and often gets deeply silly, but there’s real chemistry and camaraderie underneath.
Ending riff: They joke about renaming the studio to “Gabagoola Studios” and marvel at how the show ranges from deli meat monikers to deep-sea monsters.

For longtime fans, it’s quintessential, deranged Basement Yard energy. For newcomers, this episode is a wild but revealing entry point—expect peanuts, penis science, and plenty of pork products.

wavePod

#551 - Mr. Gabagool Is Here