#554 - The Amazing Race

Summary

The Basement Yard — Episode #554: "The Amazing Race"

Date: May 11, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (with guest Greg)
Studio: Santagato Studios

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Overview

This episode kicks off with the celebration of Greg’s first half marathon and quickly spins into the group’s trademark banter. Joe, Frank, and Greg dissect their varying fitness ambitions, the mental challenge of running, and the ultimate importance of race medals. The guys flirt with the idea of a group 5K, exchange playful jabs, and spiral into discussions on the best post-run treats, the psychology of Diet Coke, and the aesthetics of old books. True to The Basement Yard, the conversation is fast, irreverent, and peppered with memorable lines and nostalgic references.

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Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Greg’s Half Marathon: Bragging, Recovery, and Running Culture

• Greg’s Achievement
  • Greg is congratulated for completing the Brooklyn Half Marathon—his first ever (01:44).
  • “That is really, really cool. You just decided you wanted to do it and just did it.” — Frank (02:39)
• Recovery Tales
  • Jokes about marathon hardship, and Greg’s post-race pain and recovery (“My right foot is not working... I’m dragging it.” — Greg, 03:30).
  • The guys debate ice baths, Epsom salts, and recovery routines (04:45).
• Race Oddities
  • They recount stories of marathoners running barefoot, in ski boots, or with a fridge strapped to their back (04:07–04:15).

2. Running as Competition & Motivation

• Medals as Motivation
  • “Let me be very clear: If I’m running something with Ant, I’m beating him... In a 5K, I am dusting you.” — Frank (12:39, 12:55)
  • The importance of medals: “The only reason... that I did Radio City and MSG is ‘cause they gave us a cool little ticket.” — Frank (13:37)
  • Joe’s race rule: “If there’s not a medal, I’m not doing it.” (13:34)
• The Possible Basement Yard 5K
  • Joe teases Frank about joining a future half marathon or 5K (16:18).
  • Frank’s hesitance and ego: “I know what’s going to happen to my ego now that someone else here has done it.” (09:51)
  • Competition escalates: The idea of racing in silly shoes, themed races (Mario Kart costumes), and who'd win if they did a run (13:45, 16:27, 26:07).

3. Banters, Bets, and Motivational Insults

• Classic Gotcha Lines
  • “Why cough on deez nuts when you could swallow them? Got him.” — Frank (16:40)
  • Quick-witted comebacks and playful challenges pepper the episode (“I will pass out and fucking need an oxygen tank before I lose a race to you.” — Frank, 22:14).
• Monetary Motivation
  • Joking about needing a $200,000 GoFundMe as motivation for Frank to run a 5K (12:00).
  • “Bully with your wallet, then we're talking.” — Frank (07:54)
• Post-Race Rituals
  • Fantasy scenario: Finish a hot, sweaty 5K, then enjoy a “crisp fucking light beer and a hot dog” (20:36).

4. Fitness, Food, and the Reluctant Athlete

• Frank’s Aversion to Running
  • Frank dreads fitness (“I just hate it. What do you guys not get?” — 20:55).
  • “You want me to be, like, an athletic version of myself when, like, I’m BLTs, megazords, and fucking Miller Light.” — Frank (16:23)
• Best Chicken Wing Debate (35:05–40:01)
  • Lively debate over which chicken wing looks the best (“Flats over drums, flats, flats, baby.” — Frank, 36:03)
  • Techniques for eating wings and wing etiquette (38:29–39:52).
• Diet Coke Challenge
  • Frank tries Diet Coke for the first time in 15–20 years, analyzes the flavor, and discusses nostalgia (58:12–61:03).
  • “That tastes like the 90s.” — Frank (60:19)
  • Philosophical musings about diet vs. regular soda and the cult of Diet Coke (45:53–53:37).

5. Nostalgia and Pop Culture

• Cartoon Nostalgia
  • Spongebob—voice actors, cartoon references, and favorite episodes (62:12–64:32).
  • “Who’s the other guy with the backwards hat? Otto? Twister?” — Joe (67:40)
• Voice Acting Improv
  • The crew tries their hands at voice acting—genies, evil villains, and character prompts (70:17–75:38).
• Book Tangents
  • Hardcovers vs. paperbacks and the charm of old, locked, or spell books (77:54–83:17).
  • The pleasures of slamming a hardcover and the mythology of ancient manuscripts.

6. Iconic Moments & Quotes

• Frank the Model:
  • “You’re a model.” — Joe
  • “Say it more.” — Frank (09:01)
• The Bully Dynamic:
  • “You want to bully me into being a virgin?” — Joe (16:00)
• On Childhood Wonder:
  • “After I saw Aladdin when I was a child, I was rubbing everything.” — Joe (75:31)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “My right foot is not working. That’s about what it said.” — Greg (03:31)
• “If I’m running something with Ant, I’m beating him... In a 5K, I am dusting you.” — Frank (12:39)
• “Let me make something abundantly clear. If I commit to anything, I’m confident I could do it well.” — Frank (23:38)
• “That tastes like the 90s.” — Frank (60:19)
• “We started with swastika, ended on necrophilia. What an episode.” — Frank (84:22)
• “The dose makes the poison.” — Joe (48:47)
• “Why cough on deez nuts when you could swallow them? Got him.” — Frank (16:40)
• “If there’s not a medal, I’m not doing it.” — Joe (13:34)

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Segment Highlights & Noteworthy Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|--------------| | Introduction & Greg’s Half Marathon | 01:44–04:45 | | Race Oddities & Symbolic Marathon Stories | 03:59–04:15 | | Medals, Ego, and Running Motivation | 06:22–16:27 | | The Proposed Basement Yard 5K | 08:05–16:27 | | Chicken Wings: Best, Worst, and How to Eat | 35:05–40:01 | | Diet Soda Debate & Frank Tries Diet Coke | 45:53–61:03 | | Cartoons, Voice Acting, and Nostalgia | 62:12–75:38 | | Old Books vs. Paperbacks & Book Fetish | 77:54–83:17 | | Hilarious Bookends: Swastika to Necrophilia | 84:20–84:32 |

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Tone and Energy

• Playful, sarcastic, and frequently self-deprecating — classic basement banter, bro humor, and a heavy dose of earnestness especially when discussing accomplishment and friendship.
• Conversational and competitive: The guys constantly challenge each other, rarely missing a chance to one-up, mock, or outright “bully” (lovingly) one another into action.
• Nostalgic: Rich with references to childhood cartoons, old books, and snacks.

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Conclusion

This episode captures everything fans love about The Basement Yard: friendly competition, hilarious derailments, and a shared sense of lived-in nostalgia. Whether talking running, wings, cartoons, or Diet Coke, Joe, Frank, and Greg keep the laughs coming—making this a quintessential hangout in the Basement.

Memorable Endnote:
“We started with swastika, ended on necrophilia. What an episode.” — Frank (84:22)
“Bookends of this episode are very interesting.” — Joe (84:27)

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Find the hosts:

• Frank Alvarez: @TheFrankAlvarez and at patreon.com/thebasementyard
• Joe Santagato: @JoeSantagato, @thebasementyard on TikTok & Instagram

See you at the finish line... or at the next episode!

Transcript

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[Joe Sandigata]

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hi. Hello, everyone.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're all buttoned up today.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's because I'm wearing an undershirt under here. But it has a logo on it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, I see.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I don't want to show the logo.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I said it's like someone I don't like.

[Joe Sandigata]

But, like, now it feels like you have to show.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. No, but now. You know what I mean.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like, you gotta prove that it's not an offensive one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, it's not. What could it be? I don't know, like a swastika or something.

[Joe Sandigata]

I meant.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa. Dude. Hot start. That dropped it off of the hard Eswa tusk. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now you gotta show you. Yeah, it's very clearly not. It's Compton's very. Okay. The furthest thing from one of them. Yeah.

[Greg]

Now that we know who it was. I don't know if they want it that close.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nobody wins right now.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Greg]

No, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

We doubly lose. Let's make that abundantly clear. Sorry. We could just take that again from the top. All right. Hey. Welcome back.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, wow, you got a. That's. Now. I'll let you know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever.

[Joe Sandigata]

You got some new hardware over there.

[Greg]

Got some bling.

[Joe Sandigata]

Look at that.

[Greg]

Look at this.

[Joe Sandigata]

Ant ran his first half marathon.

[Greg]

It's real, by the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it your first half? There we go. Is it your.

[Joe Sandigata]

Is it your first half marathon or was it your only half?

[Greg]

Got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Got it. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a. That's an aggressive question. Off the off rip.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, I don't know how he's feeling.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, start with that question, then.

[Greg]

How about that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Sorry. What did I. Sorry. You're right, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You guys were accusing me of wearing fucking propaganda on my shirt. Whoa.

[Joe Sandigata]

We were making sure that no one was coming to that conclusion.

[Greg]

Now it's propaganda.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. Well, yeah. But anyway.

[Greg]

Right. Sorry.

[Joe Sandigata]

Ran the marathon. Half marathon.

[Greg]

Half marathon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. The Brooklyn Half Marathon.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You did it. And you just. Let's get this out the way.

[Greg]

Yes, sir.

[Frank Alvarez]

Awesome. Congratulations.

[Greg]

Oh, thank you.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is really, really cool. You just decided you wanted to do it and just did it.

[Greg]

It was. It was something. It was something to do. A lot of people.

[Frank Alvarez]

A lot of people did you. You just see, like, this is what people say, like, hard working should be. Gen Z, Are you listening? He just decided he wanted to do something and pulled himself up by his bootstraps and did it.

[Greg]

Yeah, he came out to see me. At least he did. And that's fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow. Now I need to be on the attack.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, yeah. Is that how you attack? One more time. Just give him an attack. Very good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, how should I attack?

[Joe Sandigata]

Tell me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking Boxer Joe.

[Joe Sandigata]

Definitely not like this. That's all I know, I know that's incorrect.

[Greg]

No, I'm playing. I'm playing. It was nice.

[Joe Sandigata]

How are your legs feeling?

[Greg]

They hurt today. The right. My right foot is not working. That's about what it said.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just, like, not working.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm dragging it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why? You're walking.

[Greg]

I'm dragging it. I'm limping a little bit.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

What shoes did you wear? Do they do, like, a thing where, like, you can, like, run in, like, silly shoes? Has anyone done, like, a marathon in, like, high heels?

[Joe Sandigata]

Bro, when I ran the marathon, there was people barefoot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, that's not cool.

[Joe Sandigata]

Shoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's just no shoes, but you can

[Joe Sandigata]

wear whatever you want.

[Greg]

Someone ran a marathon in snow boots. I mean, ski boots that are thighs

[Frank Alvarez]

must be on thighs.

[Joe Sandigata]

Thighs.

[Greg]

The whole.

[Joe Sandigata]

The whole legs.

[Greg]

Did you see the guy running the London Marathon with a fridge on his back?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yes, I did see that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, why?

[Joe Sandigata]

It was symbolic of something. Oh, right.

[Greg]

Oh, I don't know if there was symbols.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know. I think it was symbolic of something. I did see that.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, I mean, you're. You're asking for an injury at that point. I mean. I mean. Yeah, all power to you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, some would argue that doing the marathon in and of itself is asking for an injury.

[Joe Sandigata]

Kind of. Yeah.

[Greg]

Yeah. I couldn't walk last night. I was just on the couch. I was just sinking into it. I was fine until mile like 9 and 10, and that's when I felt like my legs were gonna explode.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ooh, did you take a bath after?

[Greg]

I did. I took an ice bath, actually.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ooh, did you throw some Epsom salt in that bitch?

[Greg]

It was a very crude ice bath. I didn't even know you're supposed to put salt in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, Epsom salt. You know what Epsom salt is?

[Greg]

What is that? The stuff you Put on the street?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sandigata]

Why would you take a bath of stuff that melts snow? Wait, Epsom salt? Mites melts? No, too.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. If it does, I don't know. But I'm not familiar with when you get like, like ice melt. It's not Epsom salt, I don't think.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, you know what? I have no knowledge of salt and I have nowhere to go from here. Right, but you've never heard of, like, when you're taking a bath and you're trying to recover, there's some, like, some salts that you could put in there. So it like, helps.

[Greg]

No, I just.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know what it does. It just makes me smell like lavender and I like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. We have a eucalyptus one.

[Joe Sandigata]

I like that too. Eucalyptus is cool, but like, it's so much like. Love it sometimes it's too intense for me. We got a sensitive nostrils.

[Frank Alvarez]

We one time got like actual eucalyptus. And like they say like, if you just like put it in your shower, it like, it's like there's like health benefits to like all that shit. I can't. I can't keep up with oils and health and plants and shit.

[Joe Sandigata]

There's a lot going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

So much fucking going on about it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

People are just like, oh, oils and crystals and shit like that. Let me just fucking breathe oxygen and

[Joe Sandigata]

live that and ingest my microplastics that's in everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't care. Of course there's microplastics. Of course there's forever chemicals.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What am I going to fucking do

[Joe Sandigata]

if I have the forever chemicals in me?

[Frank Alvarez]

Which we do.

[Joe Sandigata]

We're locked in forever, which, like, it's

[Frank Alvarez]

not an if we do.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Does anybody want to raise their hand if they've won some sort of medal for running a marathon of any kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't do this, both of you. How about this? How about we raise. Raise our hands for raising three children? Neither you put your hands down.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, that's not what we're saying.

[Greg]

Yeah, no, no, that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's you just throwing it in my face that I haven't run a marathon or half of one.

[Greg]

I said type of marathon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Way to go. You did half of them. An actual. I said type.

[Greg]

I said type. I said type.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's crazy.

[Greg]

I'll tell you what, after running the half, it made me think that while doing double this and running a full marathon feels impossible. So the fact that he did it is incredible. I can't. I would never be able.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's Mental. I also had not run. I practiced. I trained horribly for the marathon, and I ran two halves before, but never ran further than that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You hear this guy, Mr. Like, oh, man. I, like, didn't train right before I finished the full fucking marathon. I didn't train enough. So I only could have been better at it.

[Joe Sandigata]

That is true. I couldn't have been much worse. But you finish.

[Frank Alvarez]

You just. That is. And that, like, in all the conversations we've had about this, because jokes aside, that is to both of you. One of you more legitimately impressed. One of us.

[Greg]

Double one of us.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, what you did was impressive. Yeah.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Times two of that. That's very impressive.

[Joe Sandigata]

Don't you.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's the mental. It's the entirety of it is the mental aspect for me. I just can't do something that continuous and not get bored and wanting.

[Joe Sandigata]

What if we bully you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Bully with your wallet, then we're talking. Bully with your wallet, then we're talking. Then we can at least have a discussion. Well, what.

[Joe Sandigata]

What if.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't you.

[Joe Sandigata]

Don't you want to just shut us up?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, I think my pure existence, to some degree, just shuts you guys up.

[Joe Sandigata]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. But I think that, you know, me being an upstanding member of this office, a contributing factor despite what Ant says to this podcast and doing it while also being a model husband and father, I think that that does pretty well for me.

[Joe Sandigata]

Now, I do have a question about that last sentence. When you said model husband, was there a comma in between those two things? Or is it model husband or model husband and something else?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you're a model. Technically, you are a model. You're a model. Technically, we are models. We have done modeling.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're a model.

[Frank Alvarez]

We are models. Don't just throw it at me.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, we're talking about you right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you so much.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're a model.

[Frank Alvarez]

Say it more.

[Joe Sandigata]

I tried, and then you stopped me.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, do it again then.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're a model.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thank you.

[Greg]

Well, so now he has the model and the medal, so not really one up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd be a metal model.

[Joe Sandigata]

I can't even keep up. Yeah, that's too much.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no.

[Joe Sandigata]

What if we all ran a half marathon together?

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I'm not kidding. Here's the. Where I am mentally today. Yeah. Two 5Ks.

[Greg]

What?

[Joe Sandigata]

Like, what does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I could see myself doing 2.5ks. Yeah, I. I don't think I could do. Which is what? A quarter marathon. It's do they do quarter marathons or third marathons?

[Joe Sandigata]

It's. It's a 5k or a 10k. So it's either 3.1 or 6.2.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could do a 10 or 6.1.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could do a 10k.

[Greg]

A 10k would be a quarter. Ish. A little less than quarter of America. I just.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. Like I said, I am. I know what's going to happen to my ego now that someone else here has done it.

[Joe Sandigata]

He's gonna. He's wearing it too, and he's rubbing

[Frank Alvarez]

it in too, which I don't like.

[Greg]

It's the day after. Give me a day.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. It was yesterday.

[Joe Sandigata]

It was yesterday.

[Frank Alvarez]

As of recording, as of recording as of today. I just. I. I don't know if that's a question I need answered right now. I did tell you guys, full transparency. Tomorrow. I'm gonna go to the gym and just see what happens when I get on the treadmill. But I'm just.

[Joe Sandigata]

What if something good happens?

[Frank Alvarez]

We needed to find what would be good.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, it would be good.

[Frank Alvarez]

So help me.

[Joe Sandigata]

So.

[Frank Alvarez]

I told you, I haven't run. I haven't run in three weeks. Yeah. So what would you guys say? I'll let you set the standard for what you think good is, which I can then adjust my mental capacity after.

[Joe Sandigata]

Based on what you've said already. You said that you've gotten on the treadmill and you've run for like 25 minutes straight. That is all you need. That is a giant starting point.

[Frank Alvarez]

The best, like the. The longest I have run was 30 minutes straight.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's hard to do.

[Frank Alvarez]

5.5 miles per hour.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, that's hard to do.

[Frank Alvarez]

So if I do that tomorrow.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think that is a good jumping off point?

[Joe Sandigata]

Of course.

[Greg]

You're essentially crushing 5Ks already. You're, like, right there. Yeah, that's what. That.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's only 3.1 miles.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I want to make it very clear. I can't commit to anything running running wise.

[Joe Sandigata]

But it's five.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't commit to anything running wise until I start seeing, like a.

[Greg]

Well, what does that really matter? What results? Training. Who cares?

[Joe Sandigata]

And it's also six months away.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I am just. I'm saying, like, I need to. Like, you guys are going to bully me into doing it.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'll sign you up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know what you're doing. You're going to bully me into running. I need you. I need to bully you into. Into making it fiscally more well, how enchanting for me.

[Joe Sandigata]

Enchanting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Enchanting. Okay, Prince Charming, start a gofundme. I think.

[Joe Sandigata]

Fund me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think we could do this. A GoFundMe that get to $200,000 and then Frank will run a 5K.

[Joe Sandigata]

200K for a 5K?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

How about this? Good for you. 50. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Every K. What? What happened? What would you do?

[Joe Sandigata]

Or how would you feel if. Because you signed up for October, right?

[Greg]

I didn't sign up for anything yet. Just in case we did do something. Does that make sense?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, but we would do that.

[Greg]

Oh. So, yeah, sure.

[Joe Sandigata]

What if we both ran and then you didn't run it and you were just kind of left out.

[Greg]

Now we got two medals.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, are we metal chasing now?

[Joe Sandigata]

Because then we're not metal.

[Frank Alvarez]

The reality is then I would do it and with you two. And then you'd have two medals. You'd have two medals and I'd be at one.

[Joe Sandigata]

But then you. But, but, but you could beat him. You could beat us both.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let me be very clear. If I'm running something with hand, I'm beating him.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, that's what I mean.

[Greg]

That would have that you're not beating me.

[Frank Alvarez]

So like. Are you kidding me? Well, now he knows what he's doing.

[Greg]

It's a competition now. It's like I was running to finish,

[Frank Alvarez]

but now you train hard to beat me. Right? Now if we did a 5k. Oh, 5k. I am dusting you. Whoa. I'm letting you know that's my ego. See, you did it. Are you guys happy now? Here we go.

[Greg]

I don't think there's medals.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now you're getting a real American athlete out of me.

[Joe Sandigata]

There are medals in 5Ks. I've gotten one before.

[Greg]

There's medals and 5Ks you're getting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you. So you have multiple medals.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg]

God, I'll never catch up to him.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't need to out.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's about just doing it. When you cross the finish line, you're going to feel so good about it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's about the medals, baby. Why do something?

[Joe Sandigata]

It is about the metals.

[Frank Alvarez]

If there is not a tangible thing to be given to you to say, good job doing it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, that's. That's my only rule when it comes to races. If there's not a medal, I'm not doing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

The only reason that's how important the metal. The only reason that I did Radio City and MSG is cuz they gave us a cool little ticket.

[Joe Sandigata]

Didn't know that we were going to get that, but that was.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know about you. I knew I was getting that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, really?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I didn't know. Oh, yeah. No. You're going to pull out a real American athlete out of me now? That's what you want? You want to Americanize me? Like some old timey football player or something.

[Joe Sandigata]

Born here. Whole life are American.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, you, like, I just, I

[Joe Sandigata]

mean, guys, I think it's clear that you. I mean, you've. I mean, we just figured out. We did some math back there.

[Frank Alvarez]

We did math.

[Joe Sandigata]

You've run close to 50 miles already

[Frank Alvarez]

this year and I've taken a couple weeks off.

[Joe Sandigata]

And have you enjoyed that?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sandigata]

But you enjoy being able to say that I've. I've traveled that far on foot.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like looking at numbers and saying like, that's. That's a number. You know what?

[Joe Sandigata]

No, I don't know at all what that means. I like looking at numbers and being like, correct.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it's just cool. Like, you texted us yesterday, like, I just ran my hundredth mile.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And like, looking back and putting a number to something like that is cool to me.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So that's why I did that. And I was just like, wow, I've ran 50 miles so far this year.

[Joe Sandigata]

You would be surprised how much of what you're describing is the reason behind me running. I just like to know that I've traveled that far.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't care about traveling that far. I don't think of it like, wow, I could dry. I could have. I ran enough to go from here to, you know, Great Neck.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, no, no, I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about like, wow, cool. 100 miles. Like, that's wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

That.

[Joe Sandigata]

That is a crazy number.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Sandigata]

You don't think that you would finish a half marathon and be like, holy, I actually did it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm sure I would. I know myself. When I dive in, I'm in. You know what I mean? Like, smoky. When I. I'm letting you know, I'm like, jokes aside, a what in a 5k, I'm fucking dusting.

[Greg]

I'm talking. I'm at half marathons. I'm past 5k.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa. That's crazy, but also true.

[Joe Sandigata]

But we should do a 5K.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I don't know. I'm not committing to anything yet. I just need to make that abundantly clear because I'm a little baby boy too.

[Joe Sandigata]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

This is me.

[Joe Sandigata]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

You just. You want to bully me into being a version of a.

[Greg]

This is virgin.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're gonna bully me into being a virgin?

[Frank Alvarez]

You want to bully me into being some, like, athletic version of myself, and I don't like it. What did I have for lunch today?

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

A chicken parm sandwich. That's what you get with Frankie.

[Greg]

It looked real good.

[Frank Alvarez]

It actually was, like, seriously good.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I was kind of impressed.

[Joe Sandigata]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just didn't expect that.

[Greg]

Side note.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want me to be, like, a. Like, an athletic version of myself when, like, I'm BLT's megazords and fucking Miller Light.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm not asking you to.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want me to be Peyton Manning fucking Doug Woff or some shit like that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Doug Woff.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why cough on these nuts when you could swallow them? Got him.

[Greg]

Oh, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Got him, Got him.

[Joe Sandigata]

Why cough on these nuts when you can swallow them? That is insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

I never heard that one. It was really good. Just give me. Just give me. No. Yeah, you got him. Come on, come on, come on.

[Joe Sandigata]

What is he giving you?

[Greg]

You already hit him with it.

[Joe Sandigata]

You want to hit?

[Frank Alvarez]

I got to do a proper one.

[Greg]

All right, hit him with a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Got him. Got him. Got me.

[Joe Sandigata]

Why cough on these nuts when you

[Frank Alvarez]

can swallow and I didn't stumble through it. Yeah, you got waited. I sat back. I. I sat fastball, and I swung away.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, there is consequences to things like that.

[Greg]

Yeah, that's.

[Joe Sandigata]

And it's me filling out your information.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, they.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're gonna get something in the mail

[Frank Alvarez]

at your house now, be a bib

[Joe Sandigata]

with a number on it.

[Greg]

And now you're gonna be the guy that signed up and didn't do it. Crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, listen, I know what you're doing. This is what he did when we were playing Mario Kart. Yeah, just like. It's not that I'm good. You're just bad. You know what I mean?

[Joe Sandigata]

He plays games.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's playing mind games with me. He'll probably.

[Greg]

I mean.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What. What will happen if.

[Joe Sandigata]

If he commits to doing a 5k and he smokes you? He probably could.

[Greg]

I'm feeling, like, a More endurance.

[Frank Alvarez]

What happens, though?

[Greg]

What is it? I don't know. Well, when is the 5K? Like, it's all important.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, it doesn't.

[Joe Sandigata]

There's 5Ks all the time.

[Greg]

If it's tomorrow. Yeah. You probably go.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, I do think. And I'm not, because I'm also just not a runner. It's like teaching a fish how to climb a tree.

[Joe Sandigata]

Neither am I though I forced my way into this, but you, you have

[Frank Alvarez]

forced your way into becoming a runner, and now you are one.

[Joe Sandigata]

But you saying I'm not a runner is like this admission of like, I just can't do it. Like, you can.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but like, there's a level of like, natural ability you need to have to kind of make the insertion into that lifestyle easier.

[Joe Sandigata]

Insertion?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like. Like. Like, for instance, are you a gymnast? No. Could you be a gymnast? Sure. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it would be a more enjoyable experience if you had more natural ability to. That would be better suited for being a gymnast.

[Joe Sandigata]

How am I going to get natural ability to get on the pommel horse?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying, though. People have that. Whether it be flexibility or speed or dexterity or.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, you're in for a half an hour straight. Dude. That's. That's not nothing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will tell you, every second of that was miserable. I know. Every single second.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's terrible. I hate it. But I love finishing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You. All you care about is finishing. I care about the road toward finishing.

[Joe Sandigata]

I feel like you're trying to equate this to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I don't know, I. Maybe we'll talk. We'll talk candidly amongst ourselves.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, committing to like a 5k in June is not crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think if I were to wake up tomorrow, I could do a 5K.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, you absolutely could. It's not like you can't finish a 5K.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I could walk it, but I'm saying, like, I could do it non stop running. Yeah, but I just don't want to. Like, that's my thing. Guys, the noise is coming out of me. What would you rather do? Close your eyes real quick. Both of you, close your eyes. I'm serious. Close your eyes. I'm not going to do anything. Joking.

[Greg]

I'm going to fall for this, too. All right, fine.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, I'm coughing on nuts already. So where am I going to go from here?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not a joke.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Saturday morning, June 23rd, okay? You wake up, you have a hot dog, or you go run a fucking marathon. What would you rather do? Oh, by the way, why did I close my eyes? What was the point of that?

[Greg]

I'd rather have a hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's 85 degrees and sunny out.

[Joe Sandigata]

But I'm not saying run a summer marathon.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's hard. You said June.

[Joe Sandigata]

I said a 5K.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, a 5K. Think about this.

[Joe Sandigata]

You run a 5K in the morning in the summer, right? And you're all sweaty and whatever. Then you have a crisp fucking light beer and a hot dog after.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's honestly probably the closest thing that'll get me to do it.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm saying that nothing feels better than that. I just.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I just hate it. What do you guys not get?

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, so do I. You don't have to do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Obviously, I know, but

[Joe Sandigata]

you do.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I. I figure. I know that too.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, no, no, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

I also fig. I just got a. Got him on you a pretty good. Got him too, so, like, I'm riding high right now, so. You are. If there's a chance to convince me, it's right now, girl.

[Joe Sandigata]

Winter is so last season.

[Frank Alvarez]

And now spring's got you looking at

[Joe Sandigata]

pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

You're thirsty for the sun on your

[Joe Sandigata]

shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch.

[Joe Sandigata]

Done.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hoping it looks anything like the picture

[Joe Sandigata]

when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic. Is there. Is there a need for convincing when I just have all your info already? You know, like, I could just sign you up and then if you lose to him in the race, who's to say?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I will flat out say that if Frank's gonna come out, I'm letting you know right now, one of

[Joe Sandigata]

you guys is gonna end up in the tent.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will. I will pass out and fucking need an oxygen tank before I lose a race to you. That's.

[Greg]

I think you would win the 5k.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't need that. I think you have time and you just ran out.

[Frank Alvarez]

You also have. This is like, you know, you just. You just fucking won mvp. This is like, next. If I beat you, that's like you coming out the next year and hitting 200.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, it's true.

[Frank Alvarez]

So if anyone here has something to prove, it's you. Oh, yeah. All the pressure. All the pressure's on you now.

[Greg]

Oh, I promise.

[Joe Sandigata]

So there is pressure. So it is happening.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't see that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah,

[Greg]

don't worry. I think you'll win it.

[Joe Sandigata]

See the hesitation? What is he saying here?

[Frank Alvarez]

I could run it in work shoes, like dress shoes, and I could beat you.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, work shoes?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I don't work. I don't get dressed.

[Joe Sandigata]

What's dress shoes?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like fucking. Like.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like loafers.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like loafers? Yeah.

[Greg]

I would just. I think I would just take it more serious than you would. And you would win now, I mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't get that. What do you mean you'd take it more serious than me? If I train harder, absolutely.

[Greg]

But I think you'd win.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know. I think that. I think. I do believe that if Frank committed and being like, okay, we're going to do it, that he would train harder than you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let me make something abundantly clear. If I commit to anything, I'm confident I could do it Well. I live life by a very strict set of guidelines that if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it well.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, we got that New Year's episode.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just saying, like, you guys think it's a joke. It is not. I don't think I remember someone in college. I got into an argument with someone in college. Because hindsight, looking back on it, it was probably tone deaf that I said it, but I don't give a. Oh. They said like, here we go. Oh, man. Everyone that takes organic chemistry fails. And I was like, oh, I. I probably wouldn't. And they're like, well, it's hard. I was like, yeah, I get that. But, like, I just. I'm confident in my skills. Right. Same situation here.

[Joe Sandigata]

How was that tone deaf?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because it got to a point where I was just like, I'm not saying you're dumb. I'm just saying I'm smarter. You know,

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm not you. I'm better say to you, did you take the class?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying? Like, it's.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's judging on how much you trained. I think that he will train harder than you.

[Greg]

Yeah, but it's like. Sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's also a whole other part of this that I'm not even referencing.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm worried about my tummy.

[Joe Sandigata]

What about it?

[Frank Alvarez]

You know how.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, there's. It's lined with.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I stop, I'm not starting.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're fine. It's a half an hour. It's 40 minutes of your life, June.

[Greg]

What were you late? June?

[Joe Sandigata]

We're not gonna have to look at

[Frank Alvarez]

the schedule, first of all.

[Greg]

All right, I'm in.

[Frank Alvarez]

I never committed.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's a 5K.

[Greg]

So now you're forfeiting. I win automatically.

[Frank Alvarez]

First of all, I hold the fucking power here, bitch. Okay? You can mark that in your little fucking notebook. You have no more paper left. Cause you're unprepared, just like you were for your half Marathon that you did finish

[Greg]

actually have the backside of all the sheets. It's like double this whole thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would just need to be a really sick metal.

[Joe Sandigata]

Honestly, that is very important, and it's in it. And I. I try to know what

[Frank Alvarez]

the medal is going to look like

[Joe Sandigata]

before I get there.

[Greg]

How about the loser gives the winner their medal?

[Joe Sandigata]

One of these?

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like, I. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

You stand above him on a. Like a bench, and then he has to. You bend down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, I'm supposed, like, the winner's supposed to be on the bench.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's what I said.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I thought you meant like that.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, and he's, like, on the ground, and he's got to, like, put it

[Frank Alvarez]

on you or you have to kiss my feet.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay, now we're getting into crazy fetish.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why not if you're so confident?

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, we're talking about fetish stuff after the race.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying sexually kiss my feet after the race.

[Joe Sandigata]

Barefoot.

[Greg]

After the race, Barefoot.

[Joe Sandigata]

Do I have to watch? I don't want to be there.

[Greg]

You absolutely have to watch.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't want to see it.

[Greg]

Joe.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's a punishment joke. Joe, watch it.

[Greg]

Okay. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

The joke. I. I also think that there's the. The joke that he's. He would dust both of us.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. I'm smoking, you guys.

[Greg]

Unless, you know, I'm in really good

[Joe Sandigata]

shape right now, too, running wise.

[Greg]

Unless a cramp happens, you never know.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that is true. I would 5k.

[Joe Sandigata]

I will let my legs break it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've seen. I've seen enough videos of, like, people running, and then that song pops up. The Heinz. Yeah. I would stop and, like, put your arm over me.

[Joe Sandigata]

You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to pick you up. I'm going back pissing on your face. I'm running more.

[Joe Sandigata]

Damn, it's crazy.

[Greg]

It's gonna be one of those moments where Frankie's at the finish line and he sees me coming, but he sees Joe stumble. He's like, I gotta go back.

[Joe Sandigata]

I can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here's the only way I would do it if we all wore shirts with Mario Kart build outs on it, like our character, our cart and everything. So I could say, I finally beat you in real Mario Kart. Wow.

[Greg]

What we would have to do is pick each other's shirts, probably right? That's funny.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay, let me. Let me now start putting what I need in order for this to make this happen. And that's just the Freedom to wear whatever I want. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that makes it less interesting if you get to do whatever you want.

[Joe Sandigata]

You want me to dress up like Bowser?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you said Bowser. Honestly though, that's pretty cool.

[Greg]

That's funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not dressing up like Bowser. Why?

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do they have like Nintendo 5Ks?

[Greg]

They have everything.

[Joe Sandigata]

What could that possibly mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. Like, you're like. The metal you get is like the power up mushroom.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, honestly.

[Frank Alvarez]

Honestly, they could.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know.

[Greg]

People had that on signs throughout the whole race. It was very nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, like power up.

[Greg]

Yeah, I hit them all.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we know you did.

[Joe Sandigata]

Dude, whenever I see a dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would you drink for your pre race prep? Yoo hoo.

[Greg]

No idle electrolytes. Mile 10 though. Danny and JT hit me with a Surfside crucial.

[Frank Alvarez]

What flavor?

[Greg]

I see crucial. Surfside Crucial.

[Frank Alvarez]

Surfside. It was really crucial.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay, so there is one on June 21st. No, there's also June 16th, if that makes you feel better.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, also no.

[Joe Sandigata]

Right.

[Greg]

June 21st. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's. First of all, that's the day after my son's birthday, which you both have been invited to.

[Joe Sandigata]

To get up early.

[Frank Alvarez]

So I'll be there the day before. I will be eating all of the hot dogs and every beer.

[Joe Sandigata]

How about this?

[Frank Alvarez]

There's the.

[Joe Sandigata]

The Brooklyn ice Cream Social. 5K.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you like ice cream? So look at this.

[Joe Sandigata]

Look. This is the metal.

[Frank Alvarez]

An ice cream cone.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's a.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's actually pretty cool.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's good.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a cool one. But.

[Joe Sandigata]

And you get ice cream at the end.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, so I can run with a bunch of Brooklyn hipsters who are probably walking it with their dog. No thanks.

[Greg]

When's that?

[Joe Sandigata]

July 25th. Five days before your birthday.

[Frank Alvarez]

Actually, I have something the day before in Atlantic City.

[Greg]

So there's either. There's no lasts. I can't do July.

[Joe Sandigata]

Then there's the Haunted Island 5K in October.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do like, spooky stuff.

[Greg]

Yeah. But at that point, we're so close to the October to see the half marathon.

[Frank Alvarez]

It would be smart if they did like a 5k. But like you're chased by zombies or something.

[Greg]

That would be cool. That would be kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

That would be cool. Because then I would. I think I'd do better because, like, when I get chased by things, which doesn't happen often, but like, the idea definitely motivates me more to like. Oh, no.

[Joe Sandigata]

So how about if I just pay an extra participant in this 5K and I dress him up as a ghoul and I have him about six steps behind you the entire time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why do you get in touch with Doug Wyckoff's family?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, like, why cough when you could swallow these nuts? And on that note, we do have some sponsors.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we do have some sponsors of the show.

[Joe Sandigata]

The first one being Squarespace. Squarespace is a website and a platform that's going to help you build your website. So if you have an E commerce business or you make content or anything like that, you're going to need a professional looking website. It is your first impression and it's very important that you have a good one because this is where people are either going to trust you or not trust you enough to spend some money. And Squarespace does a great job at creating a website for you. They have a bunch of templates to choose from, so it kind of does a lot of the legwork for you immediately. And then you kind of switch out the text and the photos and put your products in there. And based on whatever kind of company you have, they have a template that is best suited for you. They also have a lot of tools that are going to help you figure out where traffic's coming from, how to optimize that, where you should be spending more marketing dollars and a lot of data so that you can run your website as efficiently as possible. And right now you can head to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, that is squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, so get to it, folks. And this podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. I actually had therapy this morning. It was lovely. I always have therapy on these days when we record because this is what the show does for me. But if you have something going on in your life, or even if you don't and you have, you know, I think that therapy is, is, you know, applicable for everybody, regardless of if you have something traumatic that's going on in your life or whatever. It's just really, I think it's very healthy to talk to someone who's non biased and you can kind of like say whatever you're thinking and they help you sift through that. You learn a bunch of tools. It's very helpful. So I think that everyone should be in it. And BetterHelp is like more affordable than a lot of in person therapy. That can be just like Extremely expensive and pricing people out. So that's why also, it's a. It's a good thing they have over 30,000 therapists. It's the world's largest online therapy platform. And yeah, you can find support and you can sign up and get 10 [e-mail] Basemanyard okay, so yeah, 10 off B E T T E R H E L P.com Basemanyard to get that 10 off. So enjoy that, folks.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what else you can enjoy more of us? Play the music, Ant. That's what you got? That's the best that you got? Well, listen, the best that we got is over@patreon, patreon.com the basement yard. I tell you about it every single week, folks. And it's the subscription service place that you can continue to support us. We thank you, the almost 48,000 of you guys that are supporting us over on Patreon. It is tremendous and we appreciate every single second of it. Thank you so, so, so much. And for those of you guys that don't know about it, it's your first time watching or whatever, go to patreon.com the basement yard. And what you can do is you could look at that first tier and you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And then there's that second tier. Not only do you get that, but then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. Okay. It's really, really, really beautiful. And I know what you're thinking, oh, Frank, if I sign up for Patreon today, am I just going to be able to get everything that comes out after it? You're also going to get everything that came before it. So you'll get episodes from years ago up until whatever comes out during the.

[Greg]

The.

[Joe Sandigata]

The.

[Frank Alvarez]

The. The duration of your subscription. So again, thank you to over 48,000. Almost. Almost. Not over almost 48,000 of you guys that are supporting us on Patreon. It really, you know, helps a lot here and we want to tell you to join if you feel so lucky and you feel so inclined and you. We're feeling lucky and you want to do it, please. It would be very helpful and we would appreciate it. So again, patreon.com the basement yard, if you want to check it out. And while you're doing it, if you want to save yourself some money, go do it on a web browser. Okay? If you use the smart app, then we got to pay those tech overlords extra money and you can save a couple bucks while you're getting more of the basement yard. So patreon.com the basement yard on a web browser sign up. Also, we got Mother's Day, we got Father's Day, we got graduations coming up. You can give the gift of the basement yard to whomever you want for any of those. Also, birthday. Whatever you want to do. Who am I to say? Okay, so thank you again. We love you. We appreciate it. Go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard.

[Greg]

All right, I think it's my turn. Can you guys close your eyes for me? I want you to imagine something.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm closing our eyes again. This is great. Oh, God.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now, see. Are you gonna prank me?

[Greg]

No, no, I won't prank you. So your eyes are closed?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Greg]

You are seeing a big tray of buffalo wings.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell, yeah, dude. Now, this is what I'm talking about. Running.

[Greg]

Okay? You open. You open your eyes, and these are the options you have. Which one are you picking first? Which wing are you selecting first?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a good gw, Jim.

[Joe Sandigata]

I have an answer.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are sauced.

[Joe Sandigata]

I think I have, like, the answer.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I know I have the answer as well.

[Joe Sandigata]

Should we say it at the same time?

[Greg]

Probably not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, I'm gonna go my number. I'm gonna go my number one.

[Greg]

I'll tell you the worst one I see right now as well.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, you want to do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's start with the worst one. Oh, worst one, I think, is number six.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, six. 11.

[Greg]

11. Dude, 13.

[Frank Alvarez]

11 has nothing on it.

[Greg]

Yeah, but 13 has the broken bone thing. I hate that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, that's bad.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, that's bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Eleven is pretty bad. But also six, like, that's the one you bite into, and it's mostly cartilage, and it's not, like, enough actual meat.

[Greg]

Six looks fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

The best one.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay, easily.

[Frank Alvarez]

Easily.

[Joe Sandigata]

The best one is 14.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep, 100%.

[Joe Sandigata]

14 is the worst.

[Greg]

14?

[Frank Alvarez]

What, you don't like 14?

[Greg]

The best one is 7.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are you out of your fucking mind? That's a drumstick. Yeah, it's a drum. No, flats. Over drums. Flats, flats, Baby, You're a drumstick kind of girl.

[Greg]

You two are those. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those don't know what. We're everybody. The. We are the world. We are the children. Okay. We are the world. We are the children. We are the children. We are fighting to make a better place. So let's start giving.

[Joe Sandigata]

And you're nobody if you're going flat.

[Greg]

The 12 is better. The 12 or the 10 is better than the 14.

[Joe Sandigata]

14.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here's the thing about 14 is that it's an even cook and it's a good sauce application on there and she's. And she's got meat on her and

[Joe Sandigata]

there's a ton of sauce on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, hell ye like, that's number one. I will also. First of all, I would go any flat on there over any drum on there.

[Joe Sandigata]

Seven is an outrageous answer by the way.

[Greg]

It's the best looking wing.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it is. Absolutely not. Four is better. Three is even better than seven.

[Greg]

Three is really good.

[Joe Sandigata]

Wait, there's ready.

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[Joe Sandigata]

It's one that's not labeled. That kind of has a fat ass right under six. What is that about? What's going on?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I think it got cut off.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know what's going on there, but she's got some potential lure. 16. Throw it out or I'm going to scream.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, 16 might be a deceptive picture because it just might be from a weird angle. You know what I mean? Maybe 13 is bad. Really, really bad. 11 is probably the worst one though.

[Joe Sandigata]

I would say the best drum on there could be three.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would agree.

[Joe Sandigata]

Three looks like a drumstick.

[Greg]

Three and seven have the best ones on.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't believe you like drums. Seven is. Seven is not even like top five.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh yeah, seven's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Seven is so bad.

[Joe Sandigata]

Nine is better than seven.

[Frank Alvarez]

I agreed. Eight. Oh my God. Eight.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's a lovely little dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Four is a good looking wing.

[Greg]

You know, it's a sneaky good one. 5 because you get your thumb in there and push the meat off.

[Joe Sandigata]

Whoa, dude, Crazy thumb. Get your thumb in there.

[Greg]

You know, it's like you. I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, how do you eat these things in public? First of all. Yeah. Why are you using your thumb to eat chicken wings?

[Greg]

I'm saying you push like you, you grip the bone, you push it down. I can't be doing this.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, people who are just audio are probably like, what are they talking?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, go show us how you grip from the bas and push down what you're.

[Joe Sandigata]

With your thumb. Yeah, Y2's got a good coating on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, how do you. Serious question. If you're And I want a visual representation of what I'm asking.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, boy.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you're going to eat five, how are you eating?

[Greg]

It depends how I'm feeling. Normally I would just rip the bone apart, take one out, and then I eat it like a drum anyway.

[Frank Alvarez]

See? But why are you trying to civilize chicken wings?

[Joe Sandigata]

Civilized.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're meant to be filthy.

[Greg]

Okay? So even if you do it the way where you just put the whole thing in your mouth and you pull the. The five has a good thumb hold right there.

[Joe Sandigata]

Wait, how do you eat chicken wings?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, flatter drum. You got to tell me.

[Joe Sandigata]

A flat.

[Frank Alvarez]

A flat.

[Joe Sandigata]

You shove the whole flat in your mouth.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. The whole flat in my mouth and I pull out. And then if there's. If there's anything in the middle, I hold it sideways and I. I break through.

[Greg]

Oh, I see.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'll do that if they're, like, super tender, but I don't like leaving a bunch of meat in the middle that I gotta, like, fish out.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's. I'm telling you right now, there's more meat on a T. Rex carcass than there is on those wings when I'm done with them.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's no. There's no meat left on a T. Rex.

[Joe Sandigata]

Right. I was trying to figure out what

[Frank Alvarez]

you meant by their fossilized bones. Now.

[Joe Sandigata]

Got that. Oh, yeah. I didn't know I got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, what?

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Joe Sandigata]

But. Or there's some times where, like, if it's not coming off like that, then I'll. I'll. You ever do the thing where you just press down and just comes off?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Greg]

That's what I was saying.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, I've never done that.

[Greg]

That's what I was saying. The thumb thing.

[Joe Sandigata]

But, like, it looks cool when people do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wings are one of the foods that, like, I fully sac. Like, I submit myself to the mess because, like, there's certain foods that, like, you know they're going to be messy, but you try to not get it. Let it be messy. You know what I mean? Like, everyone does the twirl with the spaghetti, and, like, you avoid the mess.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, my God. People who eat spaghetti with a spoon and a fork. Come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

People do that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

I get it. I'm not going to. I'm not that upset.

[Joe Sandigata]

Don't slurp either.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't be slurping spaghetti. I understand the upset. Do you slurp? I sneak a slurp in every now and then.

[Joe Sandigata]

What about soup? Are you just, like a loud.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. There's But I'm not doing it to be, like, annoying. Every now and then, a slurp sneaks in, and that's just because it's just sometimes it's too hot and I want to eat it. So you slurp just, like. Just to, like. Like I said, it's like a bit of a litmus test just to see how hot it is.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, but that's not slurping Slurpees.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, well, then I have to.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, but then once I'm like, oh, this is good, I'll either just drink it or I'll just, like, spoon it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Most of the soups that I have now, I drink, like, it's a cup. Like, you ever ordered, like, sushi and it comes with a miso soup.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just take it and I drink it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like, it like that? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Greg]

It's fun.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, I like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

New way of doing stuff. Oh, what do you do? Me with a straw?

[Greg]

No.

[Joe Sandigata]

You are a straw guy, though.

[Greg]

I love straws. Huge.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know if this came up on the show or not. When we went to Austin, this dude had straws in his luggage.

[Greg]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You brought straws him in. That's stupid.

[Joe Sandigata]

And shot glasses.

[Greg]

We used both things.

[Joe Sandigata]

First of all, you and Greg use the shot glasses to take shots of Ros. Such a great thing.

[Greg]

It's Greg's idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, of course that's Greg's idea. That is. I mean, I get it because you don't want to share the bottle and stuff like that, but there was also cups.

[Greg]

I was.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's also cups everywhere. There's cups everywhere. And like, normally, like, Airbnbs will have wine glasses as, like, one of the, like, cup options. Yeah. So I don't get bringing shot glasses. Oh, you know what? It's the party. Yeah, the party's here.

[Greg]

I don't know what you guys do without me.

[Joe Sandigata]

Don't take shots.

[Greg]

No, no, not the shots. We didn't even take shots. I'm saying, like, you guys were playing with my switch.

[Joe Sandigata]

If I wasn't there, I don't know which was mask.

[Greg]

What were you guys doing if I wasn't there? Just staring at each other.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, conversation. The switch was massive.

[Joe Sandigata]

I will say.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not. I didn't say anything about the switch. The shot glasses, though. What would we do without you? Let's look at the 33 years of history before.

[Greg]

I don't know what you guys are doing.

[Frank Alvarez]

We were partying. I don't know what you guys are doing. We were partying. Beer pong.

[Greg]

Beer puff.

[Joe Sandigata]

Hip cup.

[Frank Alvarez]

Guys. Hey, guys, guess who showed up. The guy that has shots in his luggage.

[Joe Sandigata]

I have.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know. I. I don't know. I. I get, like, the idea.

[Greg]

It was just prep. It was just. Just in case. It was just prep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, we got stuck there.

[Greg]

St. Patty's Day. They came in real handy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like how you say came in handy as if you were in the third world and you wouldn't have been able to find shot glasses anywhere.

[Greg]

We didn't have to.

[Frank Alvarez]

You were in awesome. You were in Austin, Texas. You could have walked down the street to a CVS and gotten disposable shot glasses.

[Joe Sandigata]

We. We did do a shot of Jameson, which I did not want to do.

[Greg]

No, he did not.

[Joe Sandigata]

But I was. I was bullied into that.

[Frank Alvarez]

No disrespect to the Jameson team. Days of drinking. Jameson along behind me. Yeah, just like days of drinking. Dude. I was a big Jack Daniels fan to the point where it was a problem.

[Joe Sandigata]

I loved Jack Daniels probably as much as I assume Kid Rock does.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Back in the day, I had Jack Daniels and probably had a picture of me holding it and then the picture of, you know, John Belushi chugging it with a sweater that says college.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Joe Sandigata]

Also when Jack Dan Daniels came out with, like, the honey dude, that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on, though.

[Joe Sandigata]

I do want to say that. Remember, this was a couple years ago. But. But Jack Daniels and Coke made the. The Jack and Daniel.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are good, dude.

[Joe Sandigata]

The Jack and Cokes in the can. I was like, this is innovative and genius.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I'm not kidding when I say this. I was a big Jack and Coke drinker for years and years and years.

[Joe Sandigata]

It was the only cocktail I knew.

[Frank Alvarez]

Years and years and years.

[Greg]

The.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've seen, like, bottled or canned cocktails, and I've tried a couple. The only one that I believe is, like, exactly what it was. When you get it made at like a bar or something or make it yourself was the canned Jack and Coke.

[Joe Sandigata]

It truly was like. Well, you would hope because it's both brands.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. But like, really does sometimes. Sometimes they like, you know, they like, over engineer something. Yeah. And like, it takes away the spirit of it. Like, no, brother, this just feels like they went. Like they literally went Jack, Coke, boom. And I was very. I was happy with it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Greg]

They have Jack and Coke Zero ones too. That's the ones I get.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa, You're a savior for drinking Coke

[Joe Sandigata]

Zero I've just gotten into the diet soda, like, universe. I. I never got into, like. I feel like Diet Coke people are like fiends. Like, there's a cult behind Diet Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, there are.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's. It's wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

They must make so much money just from Diet Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I imagine the fridge cigs is, like, a thing. What the.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, fridge.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fridge cig. That's what they call Diet Cokes. If you haven't seen, like, people making, like, shirts that say, like, pass me a fridge cig. And it's like. Like, clearly looks like a pack of cigarettes. Like a Marlboro Red. And it's open, and it's just a thing of Diet Coke. I love that.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's so funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. No, people that, like, there's two types of people. People that just don't drink Diet Coke or people that have it with every ounce of their being and will defend it until the day. Aspartame is not even that bad for you.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, it isn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but I'm saying, like, those are the people. It's not, like, casual. I know Diet Coke drinkers, bro.

[Joe Sandigata]

I like. I guess I just. It was just one of those parts of life that you don't think about for so long, but now that I'm, like, conscious and realizing what's going on, it's kind of, like, incredible. A Diet Coke is zero calories.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am holding on to whatever of my youth I have left by refusing to drink diet soda of any type of.

[Joe Sandigata]

What do you mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because, like, I will convince, not will. I fully have convinced myself that, like, cane sugar. Yeah, sodas, like, you know how they do. Like the Mexican Cokes and, like, I think a lot of soda brands are now rolling out more, like, cane sugar options than high fructose corn syrup. But, like, I will convince myself to the day I die. Like, I'm being a healthier person by having that compared to the high fructose corn syrup.

[Joe Sandigata]

I think that as long as you're not abusing either, you're being healthy.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. High fructose corn syrup. I like.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, there is high fructose. I thought if you had cane sugar, then you don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying. High fructose corn syrup in any capacity. I can only speak for myself, is not good for me, like, whether it's one or whether it's five. But I'm saying I have convinced myself that just the exact same drink with the exact same sugar content, but just with cane sugar is better. For me, despite the fact that it's 130% my daily value for sugar. So, like, I am not there on diet soda of any. Like, someone once. Where were we recently that someone had a diet orange soda, and I was like, just don't have it at that point.

[Joe Sandigata]

I mean, it probably tastes the same and it's zero calories. That's absurd.

[Frank Alvarez]

I am one of those people that I believe with so much confidence, I can taste the difference between diet and regular.

[Joe Sandigata]

You probably could, but it's not worth it. The. The diff.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like the health. The health difference. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Because something like orange soda, too, has, like, a lot of.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, I do look at, like, I know I. Like, I am a skeptic. I think you know that about me. I look at diet soda and just say, like, we. There's something we're missing. Like, this is too good to be true. Yeah. To be a real thing. And for it to not, like, in 10 years, it forms into, like, a glob monster in our stomach and eat us somehow. You know what I mean? Like, there's something we don't get yet.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, that's the thing. Like, people say, like, the aspartame is, like, the bad thing, which it is technically, like, not good. If you had a lot. But the. But the amount you would need to drink in a single day is like 30 cans.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, Dr. Mike says it all the time on his show. The dose makes the poison.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. Not anything like water, which too much would kill you. But.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly.

[Joe Sandigata]

I. But yeah, it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's outrageous.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't really, like, I guess just not drinking soda at all for so many years. I don't really, like, crave it, but I find it fascinating.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will tell you right now.

[Joe Sandigata]

We have the mini ones of, like, that's.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's smart and.

[Joe Sandigata]

And responsible ginger ale and whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, I'm gonna tell you right now. Real, like, I've had like, you know, like, you have like, Coca Cola and then you have, like, off brand, like, real cane sugar cola. Nothing is as good as the real stuff. Except for ginger ale. Yo, I had real, like, real legit ginger ale. And I was like, what have we been missing out on our whole lives? This is so good.

[Joe Sandigata]

What are you talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just so much better than, like, Schweppes.

[Joe Sandigata]

What's. What's real ginger ale?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, when you look. When you get ginger ale, like, Like a Canada Dryer. Schweppes, no disrespect, it's like high fructose corn syrup and, you know, like ginger extract and stuff like that. Like when you get, like, legit ginger ale.

[Joe Sandigata]

Where would I get that? What is it?

[Frank Alvarez]

They bottle it. They sell it at the store.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's just ginger.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It's basically just like soda water, a little bit of cane sugar, and like, ginger juice.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

It'll fucking blow your mind. You'll be like, wow. That is.

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[Frank Alvarez]

Like a significant difference.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

In quality, just better.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. I don't know. It's. It's fascinating.

[Greg]

Diet Snapple doesn't get it right.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's.

[Greg]

That's the only. That's the only diet product where the calories of regular Snapple is 100 worth it because it tastes awful. Diet Snapple, taste. I've never had it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't understand, like, people are like, I'm gonna have a diet Mountain Dew. Like, you're already there. Just what?

[Joe Sandigata]

No, there's a massive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just happen. But I'm saying, like, if you're going to the point where, like, you're having.

[Joe Sandigata]

I feel the opposite than what you're saying. Like, if you're gonna have soda, just have the one that has 40 grams of sugar.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I'm more referencing the fact, like, if it's like a niche soda, like, oh, man, I really love Mr. Pibb. Like, just. Just have Mr. Pibb. Don't have diet Mr. Pibb. You know what I mean?

[Joe Sandigata]

I feel differently. I feel like if you can get.

[Frank Alvarez]

You went. You went to the park. Go down the slide.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, but it's so different.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, because like the, the. If I like, the only soda that I've consistently liked has been ginger ale.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, not a Coca Cola guy.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, I'm not like, oh, no, no, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like it. You and your cream soda or root beer.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, like, I don't. I, I don't like, drink that. I haven't drank that since I was like nine. But. But a diet. But a diet, like Coke to me, because I don't drink the, like, the regular stuff. It Tastes it, like, does what it needs to do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fine. And that's good. Like I said, you. We. I don't think there's any one sitting in this triangle right here that is going to say that you're not being a more responsible version of a human being.

[Joe Sandigata]

I just can't wrap my mind around, like, if you have any insert brand name of a soda, and it's whatever amount of calories, 200 to 300, with, like 50 grams of sugar, and then you can get the same thing that is very close in taste, and it's zero. What?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but then you're going to look at it and you're going to be like, why? Like, that's me. Like, I. Like there's an answer for some reason. And I know this is stupid.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's the aspartame.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. But listen, I know this is dumb. I know it. I know it. I know it. In my head, though, it's like I feel like I'm getting more of an answer with the one that has the sugar in it than the one that tastes the exact same and doesn't. Does that make sense? Like, I feel like. I understand that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the fuck is that over there?

[Joe Sandigata]

But all that requires is for you to be open to being wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

But listen, you know me. I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna do that about certain things in life. Not soda. You think I'm gonna be. You want me to admit that I'm a human and I can, and that I'm wrong about soda.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm an idiot. Yeah.

[Greg]

What am I saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who do you think you're talking to here? That's so funny. Are you a Diet guy?

[Greg]

Yeah. Diet Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg]

You're big on diet Diet Coke. I mean, it's just wasted calories. The other way already. Or, you know, if you're drinking already, getting those calories, do the Diet Coke.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I also. Do I need to try a diet. No, I'm not doing this.

[Greg]

We got Diet Coke in the fridge. Wait, have you. You've tried one before?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not even kidding. I can't tell you the last time I had a Diet Coke Pro.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's kind of incredible.

[Greg]

Get the Diet Coke. He's going to try it.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's kind of insane.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess I'll try one now.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, it's kind of wild.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, look at. Oh. Oh, yeah. You're limping. He's so big. Limpy.

[Joe Sandigata]

Some big limpy. What does that mean? All right, before we get to Frank, trying to Die Coke for the first time in 10 years. Probably more than that, maybe 20. We do have some more sponsors, the first one being Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all in one personal finance app that is just focused on putting money back in your pocket. So they're going to do that in a couple of ways, one being unwanted subscriptions. Maybe you signed up for something a while ago and you've been paying for it, but you haven't really been using it. Or you signed up for a free trial and you had plans on canceling it. You never did. You've been paying for that or just good for finding all of your expenses in one place and then realizing, I can get rid of a couple of these things so that I could save more money. They also have a budgeting tool so that you could set a budget for yourself every single month. And when you have that budget, you can be more financially responsible. You put your expenses in it so you know you're not going above that so you can grow your savings even more. And they also have a tool where you can literally upload a picture of your bill of a bill that you have and if they can lower it, they will do so. So it's all focused on putting the money back in your pocket, making you a more financially responsible person and growing your savings. So this is very helpful. Yeah, Rocket Money, you can go check it out, help help reach your financial goals faster. Today you can go to join Rocket. You can [e-mail] basement. Okay, that is rocketmoney.com basement. You can get started for free, but they have a bunch of premium features that are going to get you the most bang for your buck. So go to rocketmoney.com basement to try it out. Right now we also have Little spoon. Okay. Little Spoon supports babies from their very first feed. It starts with organic infant formula for those first bottles. Then it moves into baby cereal and baby blends. When solids begin, first bites, first spoons, all of it. Okay. So for your children, obviously when, when there's a baby, you start with the formula. Then there's like the foods or whatever. And through that entire transition they will have foods that are good and safe. They test for a bunch of different like metals and 500 plus contaminants include including heavy metals to make sure that this is as clean and as natural as possible for your children. So that you know, I can just trust this company and whatever. Obviously do your own due diligence and go check them out. But they have. Yeah, it's, it's it's amazing. They have a bunch of different food for children of all different ages. But yeah, you can go check them out. Get 30% off of your first online order at littlespoon.com basement with the code BASEMENT. That's L I T T L E S P-O-O-N.com basement with the code BASEREMENT for 30% off of your first order. Okay, so go check them out. They have the food, they have snacks and things like that. But yeah, very helpful. And we also lastly here we have Ridge. Okay. Ridge, the Ridge wallet. Okay. This is a very sturdy wallet. It's unique, it's slim. There's a modern design that holds up to 12 cards plus cash. So you know that it's not going to rip or break or anything like that because it's very sturdy. It's made with premium materials like aluminum, titanium and carbon fiber. There's over 50 colors, so you can get imaginative and fun and get a playful color if you want. And all the Ridge products have a lifetime warranty. There's not just wallets, there's other stuff as well to go check them out. They have over a hundred thousand five star reviews so everyone's loving it. And yeah, so you can, they also have a Ridge tracker card so that if you lose your wallet, you know where it is and you can track it. But yeah, for a limited time, our listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using the code basement at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use the code basement and you're all set. All right, you will get 10% off of the, of your cart. So go to ridge.com, use that code basement, get 10% off and enjoy. All right, there you go. Now, Frank, you just took a deep breath.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just, I, I, I'm not even like, I can't tell you the last time I had a Diet Coke.

[Greg]

When do you think the last time you had a diet Coke was?

[Frank Alvarez]

Truly, truly. Like, what are we saying? Like had like ordered one and got one or bought one from the store?

[Greg]

Did it touch your lips?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. When was the last time you drank it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Maybe 15 to 20 years ago. Wow.

[Joe Sandigata]

And when was the last time you had a Coca Cola?

[Frank Alvarez]

Saturday.

[Joe Sandigata]

Okay, so you're, you're not, not a stranger to the taste? Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I, I, I have gone on record. I'm gonna be a real hero here and say that I believe Coca Cola is the best soda.

[Greg]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, but like, I'm just looking at this.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's a D.C. babe.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was to the Point that, like, Coca Cola came out with, like, a line of, like, vintage glass bottles when I was in high school, and I, like, bought some for my dad, and I.

[Joe Sandigata]

You love it, don't you? I do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, then you'll think this is. I think I actually put. Brought it in on that episode we did months ago, years ago, like, bringing in old stuff. I saved one and filled it with sunflower seeds, put the top back on it and wrote Frankie on it, because I was like, this is me in a bottle.

[Joe Sandigata]

What the hell does that mean? Well, you put sunflower seeds in a.

[Frank Alvarez]

In a. Yeah, I drank the soda

[Joe Sandigata]

out of a Coca Cola bottle.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Filled it with sunflower seeds.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like a plastic bottle?

[Frank Alvarez]

No glass.

[Joe Sandigata]

It was a glass bottle.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

And then you filled that with seeds and you put the cap back on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Joe Sandigata]

And you said, this bottle is representative of me.

[Frank Alvarez]

You got it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Just a simple guy. Just give me some seeds and some soda, and I'm chilling. Frankie.

[Greg]

Yep.

[Joe Sandigata]

That sounded good. Give me the sound.

[Frank Alvarez]

I smell it like it's wine. I mean, aerated. I can already. I. I. Well, I can't say anything because I. I know it's a Diet Coke, so I can't say it every. Like, I smell a difference, but, like,

[Joe Sandigata]

You gave that a big taste.

[Frank Alvarez]

That tastes like the 90s.

[Joe Sandigata]

It tastes like the 90s.

[Frank Alvarez]

We always had Coca Cola at my house in the 90s and Diet Coke. My mom was one of those people that was just like, diet Coke. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, dude. Is it good?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely diet.

[Joe Sandigata]

You can. It's like, it's extreme for you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Again, I'm. I. It could be mental, because I know I'm drinking it, so, like, I think

[Joe Sandigata]

you'd be able to tell.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do, too. But, like, to be fair, I can't sit here and say with 100 certainty. I think I could tell.

[Greg]

You'd be able to tell because then when you drink a normal Coke, you go, whoa, it's a lot of sugar, and that's zero.

[Joe Sandigata]

So imagine the guilt you have from having, like, why am I pedaling, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, you're really working hard for Coca Cola. No, I.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's honestly, like, it's because it's very recent to me that, like, I just started, like, having, like, the little.

[Frank Alvarez]

Little nips.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, you need your.

[Frank Alvarez]

You need your fridge dart.

[Joe Sandigata]

My fridge dart? No, they're like, whatever, the smaller cans. And I'm like, how, like, it's just zero calories is crazy to me. And it's a soda. Like, I'm tasting soda in my mind.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, it's just. It's just a weird. Another thing that makes it really cool is that, like, they have their recipe, like, in a basement in, like, a vault somewhere. I think that's pretty cool.

[Joe Sandigata]

Do they? Why do you know that?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's, like, the thing that people know about Coca Cola.

[Joe Sandigata]

They have a recipe on, like, papyrus and they have it in a basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, in a vault. You never saw the Coke vault? Pull up a. Pull up a. Pull up a picture of the Coke vault.

[Joe Sandigata]

The Coco vault.

[Frank Alvarez]

If this is a real door and not. I was tricked. It's a fucking sick vault, dude.

[Joe Sandigata]

Fuck off. I thought that was. That's real. Yeah.

[Greg]

I trust this image.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

All the other ones could be artificial.

[Greg]

Yeah. But this one looks like there's a line and a thing and.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, you can, like, walk by it.

[Greg]

Yeah, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, there is this, I think, in Georgia. Yeah.

[Greg]

Atlanta.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it's like a thing.

[Greg]

It's a sick keyhole.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Look, man, I think that makes it also way cooler. Like, no one's, like, vying for. I guess technically it is, but Diet Coke also. But, like, like, it's like a legit secret, and it's like, you'll never know.

[Greg]

It's like, where Mr. Krabs has the Krabby Patty formula.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sorry, I mean, we are just on the cusp of understanding spongebob references because.

[Greg]

Oh, you guys don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, we do. I mean, it debuted when we were like.

[Joe Sandigata]

Of course I know spongebob.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, it debuted when we were, like, eight.

[Joe Sandigata]

I loved spongebob.

[Frank Alvarez]

Big spongebob.

[Joe Sandigata]

You don't even know spongebob.

[Greg]

Yeah, I know spongebob.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know the new. You know, where spongebob is, like, a full idiot. We remember when he was annoying.

[Joe Sandigata]

Huh? You know the episode where it's like. Yeah, they keep talking like that. Oh, I love that. It's the old animation.

[Greg]

And it's not. Not just a boulder, it's a rock.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. How about Hinoy Mino? Who's that? Who's that?

[Greg]

Doodle Bob.

[Joe Sandigata]

It is Doodle Bob.

[Frank Alvarez]

You remember Doodle Bob, right?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a very easy one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the crusty crab pizza?

[Greg]

Is the pizza for you and me?

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, he knows that one.

[Joe Sandigata]

All right.

[Greg]

That's the same thing as the boulder in the rock. Sorry to bring up SpongeBob, everybody.

[Joe Sandigata]

God. Why are you sorry? I don't know. Is there, like, a point of. Is this, like, a hot button subject here?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I think Spongebob is still a universally loved piece of intellectual property. I don't think there's a lot there for people to get upset about.

[Joe Sandigata]

You ever see the dude who does SpongeBob's voice, Tom Kenny? Whenever I see him do it, I'm

[Greg]

like, I don't know if I like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

He.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't like seeing.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you were to ask me to draw the guy that does spongebob's voice, that's who I would draw.

[Joe Sandigata]

I would draw Ariana Grande's boyfriend, for sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Oh, that video that went viral of him singing at the like. Because that's how a lot of people don't know that that's where Ethan Slater got big is. He did SpongeBob on Broadway, which is a. Like, a sentence that's never been uttered before.

[Joe Sandigata]

I got big on Broadway because of SpongeBob.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he looks like. Yeah, that's SpongeBob.

[Joe Sandigata]

He's a SpongeBobby.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's a seasoned SpongeBob. Yeah, like, he's a. Well, do you. Have you ever seen the guy does Mr. Krabs, you know. You know, the actor. You've seen him in other things, but,

[Joe Sandigata]

like, pull him up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Clancy Brown. Is his name.

[Joe Sandigata]

Clancy Brown.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could just write Clancy Brown.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Greg]

You know this guy, he does a lot of voice acting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, so does Tom Kenny.

[Joe Sandigata]

Wait, that's him. The dude from fucking Shawshank. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's Mr. Krabs.

[Frank Alvarez]

The guy from Shawshank. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Dude, just want a bucket of suds for me and my fellas.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he's done a lot.

[Joe Sandigata]

Wow. Dude. Being a voice actor is probably a pretty cool gig.

[Greg]

I would do it. I think it's cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would love.

[Joe Sandigata]

Can you. Can you do voices?

[Greg]

Figure it out.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, no, that's not how the job works. They're not gonna hire you.

[Greg]

You can figure out anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, do, like, do Mr. Krabs. Yeah, do Mr. Krabs.

[Greg]

But I'm not Mr. Krabs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Crab that's greedy and loves money.

[Greg]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Yeah, you're fired.

[Joe Sandigata]

Actually. You'll never get it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like we would be good voice actors.

[Joe Sandigata]

Me. That's it. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I could probably. I could. I could do my voice, but I don't think it's interesting enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you could do, like, I

[Joe Sandigata]

don't have, like, an interesting voice, but,

[Frank Alvarez]

like, I think the part of voice acting that you would be good at is, like, you're not just doing your voice. You're like, turning it up for a little bit. You know what I mean? Like.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep. You're Joe.

[Joe Sandigata]

Hello.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you're a skater that really loves to hang out and eat tacos.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm a skater.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like, I just, like. Like skating.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, that was not bad.

[Joe Sandigata]

See, I wasn't doing a voice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly.

[Greg]

You were so enveloped in the character.

[Joe Sandigata]

Is that the word enveloped?

[Greg]

Enveloped, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that a word? Yeah, like an envelope.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's my. Yeah. Yeah. How would that.

[Greg]

It's okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

When you're, like, fully in something, you're enveloped in it.

[Joe Sandigata]

I had no idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or buy it and help buy it. Maybe. Thanks for the actual syntax.

[Greg]

Thanks for that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're welcome. That's the only one you get. After you. The way you spoke to me earlier. I didn't say nothing.

[Joe Sandigata]

After you.

[Greg]

Calm down.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa.

[Joe Sandigata]

What happened?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. So you're. You're like a. Like, you're a. You're a skater that just loves tacos.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like a Californian skater, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but see, like, There you go, dude. Like, you just got to be yourself, but, like, draw it up a little bit, you know?

[Joe Sandigata]

You have been really good in, like, those 90s. Like. Like, Rocket Power.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I was thinking, honestly.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think we would have been good in Rocket Power.

[Joe Sandigata]

Real quick. Rocket Power, right? You watched that and obviously you're like, which one of these guys am I? Which one did you think you were?

[Frank Alvarez]

I wish.

[Joe Sandigata]

Which one did you want to be?

[Frank Alvarez]

I wanted to. Who didn't want to be Otto? Everyone wanted to be Otto.

[Joe Sandigata]

I didn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who did you want to be?

[Joe Sandigata]

The other ones. What's his name? Squid.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Who's Quid. Who's. That's why I'm confused.

[Joe Sandigata]

Who's the other guy with that. With the backwards hat?

[Frank Alvarez]

Otto.

[Joe Sandigata]

Twister. Is his name Twister?

[Frank Alvarez]

Do we know Auto?

[Joe Sandigata]

Twister?

[Frank Alvarez]

Squid?

[Joe Sandigata]

What's the girl's name? Damn, I don't remember.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. I guess I don't remember Rocket Power as well as I thought I did.

[Joe Sandigata]

And earn your goddamn paycheck.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, bitch. Otto, you wanted to be. Oh, no.

[Joe Sandigata]

Maurice.

[Frank Alvarez]

I had no idea you wanted to be Maurice off the name alone. That sucks. Click on Maurice.

[Joe Sandigata]

This guy had a nickname. He needed a nickname.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's Twister, bro. Twister. Damn. I thought it was just like, I want to be Maurice. No, no. As soon as I heard Maurice, I'm like, I'm out, dude.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, no. I wanted to be him, though, because I was like, yo, I'm probably not Otto, but at least I could Be Twister.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, look at Otto. Look how fucking rad he looks like. Those glasses. Are you kidding me?

[Joe Sandigata]

It's kind of crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I don't. I don't know where the mustache thing came in.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's. That's a Later.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's honestly a weird one.

[Joe Sandigata]

Twister.

[Frank Alvarez]

Twister. Sick name.

[Joe Sandigata]

I will. The backwards kangal is kind of bananas, to be honest with you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you. You know what, though? I'm confident you could pull it off.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could have, like, the little hair flip in the front like that, like. I think you do.

[Joe Sandigata]

All right. Did you watch this show?

[Greg]

I didn't. I. I was. It was on during my time. I just. I never watched this one, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, I loved.

[Joe Sandigata]

What was your thing?

[Greg]

I think it was kids code name Kids Next Door.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg]

What is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like, kids that are like spies. And they're like, this is number one, number three, number two, number five. They're like spies. They're home. They're like spy.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, they were numbered.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. They would call himself each other, like, number one. And he was like a bald kid also.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why were there bald kids?

[Greg]

There's always a bald kid.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I guess.

[Joe Sandigata]

Wait, there was bald children in the show you're talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Number one was bald. Pull it up.

[Greg]

Number one was bald. And also Kalu. Kalu.

[Frank Alvarez]

Caillou.

[Greg]

Caillou.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can't believe I knew that. And you did it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Kalu. Kahlua. I've never heard of this show. Oh, I've seen a picture of this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you've definitely seen it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, I've seen that. That reminds me of Danny.

[Frank Alvarez]

This guy. My Danny?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. You're Danny.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's definitely my Danny's number two.

[Greg]

That's number two.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, yeah. I could tell by his hat.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, they lean into.

[Greg]

They lean into the numbers. Pretty hard thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Going back to rocket power, hindsight. I think if we watch it, it wouldn't be very well representative of, like, the guy that plays Tito, how he's just like a caricature for, like, the, like Hawaiian. Hawaiian man.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you know, and it's like,

[Joe Sandigata]

all right, what am I gonna do?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if we could repeat some of those sayings.

[Greg]

Frankie, you want to do a voice acting thing for me?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I. I sure, yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

You have something.

[Greg]

I have a villain released after a thousand years from a crypt who sees an old friend.

[Joe Sandigata]

Mmm.

[Frank Alvarez]

Give me more.

[Joe Sandigata]

Do villains have friends?

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's get that other villains, dude.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's fair. But do they even like each other? Or they could use.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, even. I'm not gonna say. Yeah, they have friends or, you know,

[Greg]

like a companion that has released this villain from the crypt.

[Joe Sandigata]

Ah, yes. So am I the other one? I've released you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. How many years?

[Greg]

Thousand years.

[Joe Sandigata]

Thousand years. You're probably like, sore.

[Frank Alvarez]

Am I like, what kind of villain am I? Am I like a real, like, cheeky son of a bitch? Or am I just like.

[Joe Sandigata]

You're an evil bitch, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I think I'm like, funny and witty and I try to be like, hahaha. Like Hades from Hercules.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, no, no, you're a evil.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I'm a real scumbag.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a real dude.

[Greg]

If there's a reason you were locked

[Frank Alvarez]

up for a thousand years, it was I. Now, within this prison of mine.

[Greg]

Yes, sir.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do I have access to speak or is it like I'm like, in carbonite?

[Joe Sandigata]

Like, I can't. No, this is your first time. This is like genie coming out of the lamp. Like 10,000 years.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's such a crick in the neck.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. So that's you, but evil.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, all right. That's tough. I think I can do it.

[Greg]

I would say even you are stoned and you're kind of like breaking out. You're coming out of it. You're coming back.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. All right, so give him. You have to release me, but you have to say something to release me.

[Joe Sandigata]

I can do a. What's that called?

[Greg]

Incantation.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, yeah. And then you start breaking out of your shell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, go ahead.

[Frank Alvarez]

Follow me here.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't know how to do this without sounding offensive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Drink a Diet Coke.

[Greg]

What is the Evil Dead one? Nosferocta nikto.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I. I don't know the Evil Dead one off the top of my head. Isn't that like Kunda? And I'm gonna stop there just in case.

[Greg]

Something like that. Yeah, that was the bad one.

[Joe Sandigata]

Just let's pretend I did it already.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Okay.

[Greg]

All right, all right.

[Joe Sandigata]

You just. Bridge.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. Oh, I'm back.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

What? Why am I evil? Who am I? Who am I evil against?

[Joe Sandigata]

Let's make that clear. Those damn kids.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, soon as I get my hands on those damn kids, it's pretty good. Please don't take that out of.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, my God.

[Frank Alvarez]

The government will be here any second between. Okay, all right. Like, Scooby Doo. That's why I said that. Please don't take that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, you're Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm stretching. I was just in stone.

[Greg]

I feel like you're twitching up the cowboy a little bit. Could we get a little more skeleton in there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, I finally got out.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, I mean, I appreciate your commitment.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm trying.

[Joe Sandigata]

You are.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm thinking, like Skeletor from, like, the Old man ones, you know, where he's just like, yeah, you know, something like that. I don't know.

[Greg]

We should do a whole episode.

[Frank Alvarez]

You give me this.

[Joe Sandigata]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, you're. Oh, wait, I don't. Okay, you're an old, evil genie.

[Joe Sandigata]

Genie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but, like, you're kind of like. You think you're. Like, you're funny, but you want to take people's souls.

[Joe Sandigata]

Can genies do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

And I let you out. And I let you out, but I think you're gonna do good. Right? But, like, you're like, I. You don't know who I.

[Joe Sandigata]

You.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't even know who you let out.

[Joe Sandigata]

Who are you?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just me.

[Joe Sandigata]

A dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but you're just like.

[Joe Sandigata]

And you found my lamp.

[Frank Alvarez]

I found your lamp. And I think like, oh, man, great. Now I have a genie lamp. Yeah, but, like, you're an actual bad person. Genie.

[Joe Sandigata]

An old guy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you are thousands of years old, but you were genocide. Gena Fied.

[Joe Sandigata]

What does that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Turned into a genie when you were 34.

[Joe Sandigata]

So I'm just me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, that's for you to decide, my friend. So what am I doing? I rub the lamp, and you're coming out, and it's like. I think I'm like, oh, my God. Yes, I have a genie. But you're like, little. Do you know who you just let out? Big boy. You don't need to say that.

[Joe Sandigata]

Big boy. Yes. All right. You have no idea who you just let out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Big boy.

[Joe Sandigata]

What wish do you want? Let me know what wish you want, Big boy. He comes out. He's just hitting on you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ooh. Come here.

[Joe Sandigata]

Who rubbed my lamp?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who needs a wish?

[Joe Sandigata]

Shirtless wish.

[Frank Alvarez]

You honestly sound like Will Ferrell right now. There was some little Will Ferrell in there.

[Joe Sandigata]

You know, that would be a funny movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, did you ever see. Do you remember the sketch he did with Garth brooks in the 90s where he plays the devil, and it's like, the devil's gonna play this guitar, but he sucks at it. Yeah, yeah, you remember that? It's like, oh, I'm gonna shred this.

[Joe Sandigata]

He's like, hold on, hold on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I'm getting it.

[Joe Sandigata]

Imagine oh, dude. Imagine rubbing a lamp and a genie popped out. Yo, after I saw a line when I was a child, I was rubbing and everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, I. I bet you were.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. That's fair, too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

I was myself. Jesus.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to like.

[Greg]

I'll skip that one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah,

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used to think the same thing. Like, if I were to like. Just like, you remember how in, like, Dexter's laboratory, he, like, lifted up like a family portrait and there was like, a button.

[Joe Sandigata]

I love that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would, like, search behind, like, things hung up in my house. Be like, maybe there's the button to, like a secret lab.

[Joe Sandigata]

I think that when people have shit like that in their house, I think it's so cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you think when you have a giant house. Because we know you'll have, like. Because people have installed, like, modern day, like, bookcases where, like, they move a book and it opens to, like, the. The man cave. Yeah. Which we can agree.

[Joe Sandigata]

I hate.

[Frank Alvarez]

The man man caves are.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So stupid.

[Joe Sandigata]

I just have a house and I. I feel like this. This is the man cave.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is the man cave. What gave it away? The sign that says, parking for Yankee fans only.

[Joe Sandigata]

I hate that so much.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, the bathroom. It's a urinal. And guess what's in there of David Ortiz's face.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. Like, I don't need all the signage. I don't want this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Or like, even where she go? Not even worse. But, like, in addition, it. People's like, man caves. And there's 80 TVs. Who needs this?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And it's like, that's. That's my chair. That's the holy. That's the holy throne. Here's the rules. Rule number one, no bitching. Why? Rule number one, I'm always right. Rule number two, Fuck the Patriots.

[Joe Sandigata]

All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

And rule number one. Yeah, we knew you've been to Hobby lobby. We understand.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, it's rough. What was the question? Oh, will I do the bookcase?

[Frank Alvarez]

I could see that being, like, cool for like, a reading nook.

[Joe Sandigata]

I would love that. I mean. Yeah. I don't know that unfortunately it would make a lot of sense, but I think that it is cool. Or like a button.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could have a button on like a bust of William Shakespeare. And you, like, push his head back, press it, and the door opens. I could see you having, like, a room that has, like, floor to ceiling bookshelves.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, I really like that. I like a book. Like a library ladder hole.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want a library ladder?

[Joe Sandigata]

When I could just like, kick off and be like, what do you need?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but here's the thing. They used to be filled with cool looking books. Now the spines of all the books are like white and colorful. Like back then it was like old bound leather. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like spell books.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sandigata]

You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to open a book and cough, bro.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. I want it to be dusty and have like asbestos in the pages.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could see you having something like, I am going to go out on a limb. I think you should. And if you don't, you kind of suck.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm dropping the ball. I should just buy encyclopedias. I don't even know what they do anymore. Haven't opened one since third grade.

[Frank Alvarez]

Literally like an absolutely defunct form of technology because of the Internet.

[Joe Sandigata]

Also an almanac. Forgot what that is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just like the world. Like pictures of maps.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. Like what is an almanac? It's like somewhat agriculture. I feel like that works.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, it's stupid. It's just like, oh, here, here's a map of America. Also here's a map of the eastern part of America. And also here's a map of the northeast. And it's like, I don't need a whole book for maps.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, it's stupid. Although when I was in London, there was a story walked into and they had a bunch of old maps from like old bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna do kind of cool books after 1999 suck.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So trash.

[Joe Sandigata]

I need an old book that smells like and probably has like some blood on a page or.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'm going to go further. Like not. What are they called? Soft cover books.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, paperbacks.

[Frank Alvarez]

Paperback books are stupid.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, I like paperbacks. Nope, hardcovers.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hardcovers are way better, dude.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, I'm reading it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to put this thing down and it makes a stunch. Yeah, like paperback. It's just like. Like we got books around here somewhere. Right there.

[Greg]

Oh yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Perfect.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, you got two examples. Yeah.

[Greg]

Yeah. Look at that.

[Frank Alvarez]

So this is Greg's book. No disrespect to Greg, but it's a paperback, so it's. Right, it's a Greg book.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Careful, he'll text you.

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's a. There's a. There's a quote from you on the back of this. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

You don't know the story behind that?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, bro.

[Joe Sandigata]

Me and Greg were like friends, but not really yet. And then he asked me be a part of his book because I had a YouTube channel that was popular at the time and he was trying to use me.

[Greg]

Classic.

[Joe Sandigata]

No, that's what? That's the joke that I make. But, like, he had approached me. I was like, hey, I'm writing a book. I would love for you to, like, you know, do this thing. And I wrote something. What does it say?

[Frank Alvarez]

I loved every second of it.

[Joe Sandigata]

I wrote. The actual quote that I wrote was, I loved every second of it. And I don't even read books. And the person was like, all right, we're shortening this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, jokes aside, it's wildly impressive that he wrote a book.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. Two published books.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've heard nothing but good things about it. I've not read it, however, listen to this.

[Joe Sandigata]

All right?

[Frank Alvarez]

And then. This is a book. This is not a T shirt. This sucks. I don't even know.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't even know what that is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't even know what it is. No disrespect to Gary V. Jessica Alba and Tony Hawk, but they're on the back of that.

[Joe Sandigata]

That's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they wrote something. Listen, you ready? Just listen. Okay, actually, I'll give it a more fair shake. I'll drop them both like this one. Like this. Okay.

[Joe Sandigata]

Come on, dude, you like a big.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just want, like, booming. Yeah, that's like I'm smacking my ass with a roll of newspaper.

[Joe Sandigata]

And when would that be appropriate?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, like, I want to put a book.

[Greg]

Bit

[Frank Alvarez]

a boo. Book down and, like. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. I like old pages. Do you remember when there was a video that went around of, like. Like, Joe Biden was getting sworn in with a book that looked insane? It had a lock on it. When books have locks on them. I like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Name two incredible movie books.

[Joe Sandigata]

Well, something from Harry Potter. I just can't remember, like, the name of the books.

[Frank Alvarez]

I wasn't gonna think of that one. I was gonna go with the spell book from Hocus Pocus.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a good one. Or the book from the Mummy.

[Joe Sandigata]

I don't remember the Mummy.

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't remember? Dude, what a book. It has, like, a. A lock on the front that, like, it, like, opens like. Like scarabs like that. And they put it and they turn it, and it's. It's fucking good, dude.

[Joe Sandigata]

The mummy book.

[Greg]

Oh, yeah, there it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow. It worked, I think. Is it a real book?

[Joe Sandigata]

That thing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, that looks a little too mechanical. I know that. It's it.

[Greg]

This is it, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Greg]

It's the death book in the up spoiler, but death book in the lifebook.

[Joe Sandigata]

Nice spoiler. The movie's from like fucking 1999.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is great, great, great, great job there with the year it was.

[Joe Sandigata]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

1999.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm on it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Good movie, by the way.

[Greg]

What about the Necromonicon?

[Frank Alvarez]

Necronomicon, whatever.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That one's just a scary looking.

[Joe Sandigata]

What's a Necro?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's from the Evil Dead series. It's like it's bound in human. Oh, well, those are real versions of it. Which is kind of creepy.

[Joe Sandigata]

Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's bound with human flesh and all the pages are written in blood. I mean, it's from a movie. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

Like a book made out of flesh is probably discuss train.

[Greg]

Yeah. Let's not sit. Let's not look at the images. Just in case.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm good.

[Greg]

Just in case something pops out.

[Joe Sandigata]

Yeah. What was it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Necronomicon.

[Joe Sandigata]

Necronomicon, yeah.

[Greg]

It's like Necromancer, but a book.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's more that a necromancer is like someone that does, like, Evil Dead, like magic raises the dead. Yeah.

[Joe Sandigata]

I'm only familiar with necrophilia. Not that I'm familiar. I'm familiar with the turp.

[Frank Alvarez]

That one I'll get neck roof. Necro is like the prefix for, like, having to do with the dead, I believe. And then Philia is obviously the Greek. What's. What's. It's prefix in Sussex. Post fix for, like, love. Right. You know, that's why it's called Philadelphia. Fila.

[Joe Sandigata]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

City of brotherly love.

[Joe Sandigata]

It's ironic because I hate it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, that place.

[Joe Sandigata]

I hate their sports teams. Yeah. Well, maybe we can end on necrophilia.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nope.

[Joe Sandigata]

Shouldn't we?

[Frank Alvarez]

We started with swastika, ended on Necrophilia. What an episode.

[Joe Sandigata]

Bookends of this episode are very interesting.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. What are we gonna name this one?

[Joe Sandigata]

Oh, that's a great question. I have no idea. That's a problem for another time. Frank. Where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

The Frank Alvarez all over and patreon. Patreon.com. the basement yard. And the basement yard all over social media and nope, he doesn't get one today. Nope.

[Joe Sandigata]

You can find me at the finish line of the half marathon and you guys can go follow me at Joe Sandigata. Go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you next time.