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Girl, winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done. Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic.
Frank Alvarez
Welcome back to the basement.
Joe Santagado
Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Frank Alvarez
I was, you know what? I was doing it and then I started cleaning and then I'm doing it back again. I should have pissed. Oh, I should have peed before I should have pissed.
Joe Santagado
Well, you're locked in now.
Frank Alvarez
Hold it.
Joe Santagado
I'll hold it till the ads don't hold it physically.
Frank Alvarez
And did you used to do that as a kid? Did you pinch your little pee pee?
Joe Santagado
What? You would pinch your wiener?
Antonio Prisco
Let me just. One minute of ten seconds in.
Joe Santagado
Okay, okay, okay. You would pinch your wiener.
Frank Alvarez
No, wait, is it you who said
Joe Santagado
that you used to stop your pee in the middle of peeing by pinching your wiener? There is a red handed,
Frank Alvarez
There is a tone coming from your voice that is that you, not me. Now, I'm not like now cutting it off just to fucking for shits and gigs.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I have at times been able to, you know, pinch it, close the door, you know, close the storm drain or whatever they say. Oh, door, hold the door, you know. But, but yeah, you didn't do that as a kid when you had to pee. You would like.
Joe Santagado
I would just kind of like fiddle with it. What?
Frank Alvarez
See, that's weirder. That's weird. The pinching makes sense.
Joe Santagado
No, it doesn't.
Frank Alvarez
I feel like when I have to pee, I can buy myself 10 minutes of not having to pee by like,
Joe Santagado
like, like holding your breath.
Frank Alvarez
Like. No, like breathing the piss back into my body. You know what? I know. Don't do this thing that you guys do sitting in your ivory tower looking down at me like I'm a fucking idiot.
Joe Santagado
I can't breathe my piss back into my body. Sue me.
Frank Alvarez
You can't like, and then like, absorb some of your pee again when I,
Joe Santagado
when I have to pee? You know what I do if I
Frank Alvarez
got to pee really bad?
Joe Santagado
You know how you get that, like, pain kind of. Yeah. The only thing that kind of relieves that pain is if I stand like this.
Frank Alvarez
Just break the whole Set.
Antonio Prisco
Like, if I.
Joe Santagado
If I stand like this. So, like. Like, I have to, like, be bent over.
Frank Alvarez
Well, because when you're standing up straight, you're putting pressure on. Yeah, see? Like, you're putting pressure.
Joe Santagado
I'm like. I'm, like, throwing my shit back.
Frank Alvarez
You fucking throwing it back on them.
Joe Santagado
Ye.
Frank Alvarez
So, okay, I guess that kind of,
Joe Santagado
like, relieves some sort of pain. But, like, when I'm sitting, I do
Frank Alvarez
get that because, like, if I'm sitting and I have to pee, sometimes I'll, like, unbuckle everything, pull, like. Like the waist of my pants out.
Joe Santagado
Yep.
Frank Alvarez
You know, so I'm in, like, a more natural sitting position.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. Yeah.
Antonio Prisco
If I wake up and I have to pee and I'm on my left side, I could buy myself, like, five minutes. If I roll around to the other side. I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Because it has to drain back into its pee position.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, something like that.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know. I'm with you. There I am. I'm honestly with you.
Joe Santagado
You're like, five feet from our b.
Frank Alvarez
How do you know his bedroom?
Joe Santagado
I mean, I'm assuming there's a bathroom.
Frank Alvarez
Our bathroom. Like, you guys just sleep together. What? That would be crazy, right?
Joe Santagado
Yeah, I said you're. I said a bathroom. It could be eight feet.
Frank Alvarez
You don't know. I'm. Sometimes.
Joe Santagado
The point is that it's close.
Antonio Prisco
See, I just don't want to get up sometimes.
Frank Alvarez
When it comes to. Yes, exactly. When it comes to having to piss in the middle of the night, logic escapes. Just for being able to sleep comfortably longer. And in a deeper sense, I do
Joe Santagado
close my eyes and pee sitting down in the middle of the night.
Frank Alvarez
Sure. Whatever works for you. But what I'm saying is, like, I will push. I will push having to pee in the night until, like, I'm getting to that. That point of a dream where I'm, like, in front of a urinal and I'm like, all right, now I know if I piss in this urinal, I'm gonna actually piss the bed.
Antonio Prisco
I.
Joe Santagado
Well, I actually get this part because if it's the middle of the night and I have to pee, I will hold my piss until I'm, like, hallucinating from pain. And then I'll go.
Frank Alvarez
I. I don't know if that's a good thing to do. I think we've learned from it doesn't happen often. I mean, hallucinating. That seems like you're way past, like, the threshold for having to do that
Joe Santagado
exaggerating comedy show.
Frank Alvarez
I didn't Know if you were actually seeing stars when you piss?
Joe Santagado
No, no, no. But you know, you have to pee real bad, and then you finally get the chance to pee, and you're. And your penis is like, we're gonna let it out slower than normal.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Like, it like my. My dick blue balls me. You know, it's like, okay,
Joe Santagado
you want
Frank Alvarez
a peace so bad, don't you? Yeah.
Joe Santagado
It's like, here's a little bit of pee.
Frank Alvarez
You're going at my pace, bitch.
Joe Santagado
Like, when you just, like, have to pee and, like, you go. It's like you get a pee in your business.
Frank Alvarez
I could power wash some pavers with my piss.
Joe Santagado
I know, but then when you really have to pee and you've been holding it for so long and you finally get out of the Uber, and then you run into your room and running the room, and then you run to your bathroom, and then you take a pee. It's like, it's got to warm up.
Frank Alvarez
I'm telling you right now. Like, I would be afraid to sit when I pee because, like, at that level, when you're saying, like, in the middle of the night, because I would have to aim this thing straight down because that stream will come out the front of my fucking toilet seat. You know what I'm saying? This thing, it's like 4.4000psi of piss.
Joe Santagado
Whose voice is that? 40. 40,000.
Frank Alvarez
40,000 psi? Yeah.
Joe Santagado
No. Middle of the night, I'm sitting down, I'm closing my eyes, and I'm trying to stay in a dream while I am peeing.
Frank Alvarez
If you could take a pill that, like, would guarantee you don't have to piss during the night, would you take it nightly?
Joe Santagado
I don't pee in the night often.
Antonio Prisco
Really?
Frank Alvarez
I piss at least once a night.
Joe Santagado
I would say I only pee in the middle of the night if, like, I had drank a lot of water.
Frank Alvarez
See, the thing is, like, I don't. I've gotten better with drinking more fluids during the day. But Becca every night has a bottle, like, a bottle of ice water next to, like, on her nightstand. So I'm more likely to be in bed and drink water because she has it in us right there. You know what I mean?
Joe Santagado
You take her water.
Frank Alvarez
So I'll take her water, and then I won't give it back and I'll say, no water for you.
Joe Santagado
I'm gonna get up and.
Frank Alvarez
No, but, like, it's right there. So, like, I probably drink more consistently when I'm lying in bed than when I do during the day.
Antonio Prisco
What was the most annoying thing you've ever knocked over on your nightstand next to your bed.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, Becca. All right, this is a real story. And this was like one of the first arguments we got into.
Joe Santagado
What could this be?
Frank Alvarez
This is a real thing. And I want you to tell me where you where. Like, if you agree with me or probably her, I can.
Joe Santagado
Before we begin. I'm on her side.
Frank Alvarez
Okay.
Joe Santagado
All right, I'll pick.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, I'll jump on that, too.
Frank Alvarez
We. It was when we were, like, first dating. We were maybe like a little. A little over. A little under a year into dating, and she, like, spent the night at my place, and she had gotten a nice coffee, and I don't know if your partners are like this, but she takes two sips of her coffee and then she. She needs her big coffee and takes two sips and she's like, I've had enough there. And I've had enough. I'm like, just get a smaller coffee, dude. And she left it on my nightstand. And I went to make my bed. And Again, this is 24 year old Frankie, so cut me some fucking slack, okay? And I went to make my bed, and in throwing my blanket, I knocked it over and it fell on the floor.
Joe Santagado
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
And I was pissed at myself, but also I said to her, I was like, next time, don't leave coffee on my nightstand. And I think now that I'm saying it out loud, I realize I was a douchebag in that moment.
Antonio Prisco
No, I don't. I think.
Frank Alvarez
I don't think that was that.
Joe Santagado
I thought it was gonna be way.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, that was gonna be way worse. I think you're still. You're.
Frank Alvarez
I'm leaning you, so really keep going. So, like, I knocked it over and it was my fault, but also her fault.
Joe Santagado
Well, not her fault.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I get.
Joe Santagado
I get you being like, you know,
Frank Alvarez
like, it's not like, don't leave it
Joe Santagado
on my nightstand because I like to
Frank Alvarez
make my bed really hard. Yeah.
Joe Santagado
You know, it's not like, you know, you were looking for. To have to cushion some of the.
Frank Alvarez
I think I was just in a pissy mood that day and probably was just having a bad day. And I was just like this. And this happened because of you. I make my bed hard.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I may. I'm fluffing it.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, I was laying down, whipped the blanket off me. Chocolate milk all over any.
Frank Alvarez
Like, you're a grown adult with a
Joe Santagado
glass of chocolate milk on your knife.
Frank Alvarez
Why are you drinking milk on your nights? It was a red solo cup even.
Joe Santagado
Crazy.
Antonio Prisco
It Was a red solo cup of chocolate milk.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Honestly, you're not helping.
Joe Santagado
What is the occasion? How does that call for?
Frank Alvarez
Were you 12?
Joe Santagado
It was.
Antonio Prisco
It was just. It just. There was chocolate milk there.
Frank Alvarez
Were you 12?
Antonio Prisco
I was not 12.
Frank Alvarez
How old were you?
Antonio Prisco
This was like a year ago, bro.
Joe Santagado
Why are you doing.
Frank Alvarez
That is crazy.
Antonio Prisco
This is like a year ago.
Frank Alvarez
I. I understand. Like, you can get away milk to
Joe Santagado
bed like a kid.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Like, what are you. You're just like, you have. Oh, let me go get my warm
Joe Santagado
glass of chocolate milk.
Frank Alvarez
Have you ever done that before bed? Like, actually. Because you thought it was going to help you sleep, had warm milk. No, I've done that.
Joe Santagado
Warm milk is disgusting.
Frank Alvarez
There were, like, nights in college where I like, couldn't fall asleep, so I would just like, microwave a cup of milk for like 30 seconds and drink it.
Joe Santagado
Why wouldn't you just have tea or something?
Frank Alvarez
It was college. Like, you know, what's on hand is on hand. You know, I didn't have much going on. Yeah, you did.
Joe Santagado
You drink it out of a saucer. Yeah, Lapped it up.
Frank Alvarez
Not a fucking red solo cup like Asher Roth over here.
Antonio Prisco
Don't start tossing things at me.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, no. That's kind of wild for having chocolate milk.
Antonio Prisco
The coolest guys never.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I'm sure.
Antonio Prisco
Anything in your bedroom?
Joe Santagado
Yeah, yeah, of course. I've spilled mad in my bedroom. I mean, water. I usually try to keep water on my nightstand in the middle of the night, too. Because if you wake up and then, you know, you, like in the middle of the night, you're just thirsty. When I have like a cold thing of war and then you have like, freezing cold water and then you're so thirsty. I'm sucking this thing down and it's. I shouldn't have done that. But like, I was. I'm like drinking this thing and it tastes so good and it makes me cool.
Frank Alvarez
I love that. You can do it.
Joe Santagado
Go ahead.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you get.
Antonio Prisco
You get them.
Frank Alvarez
I was just going to say, like, it's the.
Joe Santagado
It's the.
Frank Alvarez
Like coffee, chocolate milk, those types. Like, that color of liquid that is the worst because then it stains. Like, if it's water, I don't give a fuck.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. I never have something that isn't water in my bedroom. Like, I don't drink and eat in my bed.
Antonio Prisco
Danny one time he had body wash on his nightstand. And in the middle of the night
Joe Santagado
is happening in the house.
Frank Alvarez
What's going on in your body wash on his nightstand.
Joe Santagado
In case. Why? So wash his pits in the Middle of the night.
Antonio Prisco
I don't know why he had it, but in the middle of night he was so thirsty. Fully.
Frank Alvarez
Stop, Stop fully.
Antonio Prisco
I promise, this is his story.
Frank Alvarez
Was he inebriated?
Antonio Prisco
I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Did he have a couple to tree?
Antonio Prisco
I don't know. I think he's just a kind of a weird dude.
Frank Alvarez
But I've had like, I've had beer on my nightstand where like I'm like the night before, like, you know, having a party, having beers or whatever. Then I just like go to my bed and I unexpectedly fall asleep. I've had beer. Like that. Sure.
Joe Santagado
Tea.
Frank Alvarez
I've had tea on my nightstand. I've had tea also, you know, but not just chocolate milk. Like you're a, like a war veteran from the 40s. Is crazy. Is hilarious. Honestly, that's like, like you drinking your, you drinking your Opal Teen. That's like having a plate of spaghetti on your nightstand. Oh, that would be bad. I don't.
Joe Santagado
In your nightstand.
Frank Alvarez
Honestly, a weird collection of stuff. Like a charger or like an old charger.
Joe Santagado
Anything cool.
Frank Alvarez
There's like a, like a journal that I never wrote in that I always said that's where we go, though. Yeah, that I always said, like, I would try writing in and do journaling, but yeah, not, not much. Cool.
Joe Santagado
It's kind of like a messy drawer. Mine's messy too. Yeah, but I have all the, like, you remember I said I don't throw out the funeral cards. They're all in my nightstand.
Frank Alvarez
All of them. Like, so you, when you get new nightstands, you transfer funeral cards from nightstand to nightstand?
Joe Santagado
I don't do that actively. It just ends up being there. Where else am I going to put them?
Frank Alvarez
That's spooky.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, it's like you have a bunch of people sleeping in your room with you.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. At least none of them are drinking chocolate milk.
Joe Santagado
All right, what are we doing?
Frank Alvarez
Like a, like an alleyway cat? Dude. I, I, I will say, like, I learned very quickly, like, I'm big now on like, no eating in our bed. Although Ruby ate in our bed this morning. But whatever we could do to like, get her to go to school. But like, there was one night where I got home, we did, we had like a double up day and I got home late and the girls were in my, you know, our room and they were like, they both wanted cereal, so I gave them bowls of cereal and they, I was like, all right, you have to have it on the floor. And I walked out and I came back and Ruby Spilled hers. And I. As I was cleaning that one out, Maeve spilled hers. I was like, never again. I'm not doing this. Yeah, because with milk, you don't need to just worry about it staining. But then the smell, if you don't, like, properly. Oh, my God. Spoiled milk smells up there with the worst smell.
Joe Santagado
Those are one of those stinks that I don't even like like sometimes. We talked about it.
Frank Alvarez
We talked about it. Oh, there's no good. Like, milk stink is not good.
Joe Santagado
No.
Frank Alvarez
You know what? Stink is so good. And stinky basement stink. You know what I'm talking about? It's like a little wet and mildewy down there and like.
Joe Santagado
Ugh.
Frank Alvarez
You don't like that?
Joe Santagado
I don't think so.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I love.
Joe Santagado
You love mildew.
Frank Alvarez
Not currently, but, like in old basements. Like, you're just like, oh, this is a. Because they say rule of thumb for when you guys are buying houses. All basements get water just about how you protect against it. So, like, when you're down there, it's like, it's stinky, like a little wet mildew basement.
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Little hole.
Joe Santagado
Yo, you're. You're scaring me and him.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, I'm very scared.
Joe Santagado
What's in your nightstand? Do I even want to know?
Frank Alvarez
Chocolate milk?
Antonio Prisco
It's just nightstand things. Stuff you might need. I don't know.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, I know. Your answer is what I'm worried about.
Antonio Prisco
No, it's just nothing. Nothing crazy.
Joe Santagado
No Titan?
Antonio Prisco
Yeah. Oh, nothing. That's really.
Frank Alvarez
No. What did you just say?
Antonio Prisco
Some extra batteries sometimes for TV remote.
Frank Alvarez
TV remote? Is that. Is that what you need the batteries for? Anal bead? Yeah. Yeah.
Joe Santagado
There we go.
Frank Alvarez
You got some stuff in there, huh?
Antonio Prisco
I'm pretty sure he has a picture of you in his nightstand, so.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I'm not dead yet, so he wouldn't have a picture of me, but as soon as I die, he will. Yeah. Do you have a picture of me hung up in your house anywhere? I'm trying to think if I do. I don't think I.
Antonio Prisco
It would be like a group thing.
Joe Santagado
I do, I do.
Frank Alvarez
You do? I do.
Joe Santagado
I do. My conscious was in your body. I do. Yeah. I have. I don't know. Someone. Did you get someone? Or maybe you did someone. Oh, no, it was Lynch. I don't actually, I have no idea. It's a picture of us on stage at. In Wilmot. But it's like when we went to shoot the promo video.
Frank Alvarez
Oh.
Joe Santagado
So the first time we were on a stage.
Frank Alvarez
Gotcha.
Joe Santagado
Gotcha.
Frank Alvarez
Gotcha.
Joe Santagado
Gotcha. So it was like a picture from the back? Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Huh. Interesting.
Joe Santagado
No pictures of me hung up in you, huh?
Frank Alvarez
I. I can't think of. I honestly. I know I have some, but I don't know if I have them hung up yet. We're still. We just moved in, like, 10 months ago. Come on, Joe. We've only been there for a whole year.
Joe Santagado
Well, you got to give me some slack.
Frank Alvarez
Wait.
Joe Santagado
Damn.
Frank Alvarez
So we're finding out. Ants got some shit in his nightstand. I kind of. And you getting down like that, baby?
Antonio Prisco
No, it's really nothing.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, the nightstand is.
Antonio Prisco
It's very tiny.
Frank Alvarez
Stop. Stop me when I'm getting close to the size.
Joe Santagado
Wow. Do you have pictures up in your room?
Antonio Prisco
No.
Joe Santagado
Like, on the walls.
Frank Alvarez
Do you? We have some art, and we have an aura frame. Free plug. They're actually amazing.
Joe Santagado
Nice.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagado
Ooh, night light.
Frank Alvarez
No, because I'm an adult. I am big guy.
Joe Santagado
I'm an adult.
Frank Alvarez
I'm an adult.
Joe Santagado
Do you have a nightlight? Do you have one of those in the. In the bathroom?
Frank Alvarez
We have, like, a setting on the light that you could put on night light mode. But, like, if you could find that button, you can. You just turn the switch. You know what I mean?
Joe Santagado
At that point, you're seeing in the dark.
Frank Alvarez
Ruby and Miles have, like, sound machines that have lights that come from them. Maeve sleeps with a light on.
Antonio Prisco
I think I said. I think I've said this. Full light on.
Frank Alvarez
She is vampire, that child.
Antonio Prisco
I think I've said this before, but I still have my light up like stars. In one of the rooms. No, no, not in my bedroom.
Frank Alvarez
Not in my bedroom. Wait, are you saying. You know, he's too old for those. Okay. Yeah. Antonio, first of all, he's sleeping in
Joe Santagado
a bedroom with star ceiling and chocolate
Frank Alvarez
milk on his knife and then fucking vibrators in the nightstand. He's gonna walk in and arrest you.
Joe Santagado
Graffiti pajamas, too.
Antonio Prisco
It's not my bedroom. It's in, like, what used to be my old bedroom. I just never took them down.
Frank Alvarez
What you had. So who's in there now? Danny?
Antonio Prisco
No, no, no, no. It's just like a. An office kind of thing now.
Frank Alvarez
Okay. So you could be working.
Joe Santagado
You know, I used to have one of those.
Frank Alvarez
Those things are so cool. We got them recently and then lost them.
Joe Santagado
My parents hated when we had those because they put them up and I peeled them off and they were. There goes the paint.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Yeah, that definitely happened at our place, too.
Joe Santagado
Did I ever tell you about the
Frank Alvarez
time
Joe Santagado
there was One time where. You know how I used to get leaks in my house?
Frank Alvarez
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Joe Santagado
So my bedroom. I was sleeping on the top bunk, my room. And our room was leaking, right? And it's the middle of the night, and, like, it's a pretty substantial leak. Like, it's like. Water's coming in, so I had to wake up my dad. He's livid, like, furious that this is happening, right? So he. It's like a little drip. He's like, oh, he's got to be. And then he. I'm on the top bunk, and I can see this is all happening, like, in the dark, but the. The light from the hallway is, like, casting on his face. And he takes the drill.
Frank Alvarez
He drills into the ceiling, and water just comes down, like, on his face. He goes like this.
Joe Santagado
And then he just looks at me, and I lost my soaking wet face. So furious. It's like 3am There's a hole in my ceiling. Now it's just pouring water.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, that was a thing that I remember my dad. I don't know if it was my dad or my mom, but, like, seeing a leak and then, like, poking it with, like. Yeah, you know, a pen or a drill or something to, like, so get the rest of it, I guess. I don't know how that makes sense.
Joe Santagado
I have it, like, etched in my mind. Of his face covered in water.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, he's soaking wet. Oh, my God.
Joe Santagado
There was another time with my dad. This is a similar story, but we were redoing the bathroom upstairs, and my dad was in the kitchen.
Frank Alvarez
He's going.
Joe Santagado
He's telling me and Keith. He's like, go upstairs with this, like, a jug. And he's like, pour water down the drain. I want to see if there's a leak or whatever the. Right. So there. But there was a leak, so he's underneath it. He's like, all right, pour a little bit, right? He's yelling because he's trying to get through the floor. We can hear him totally fine. So we start pouring, and he starts yelling, stop. And me and Keith look at each other at the same time and both decide we're, like, not going to stop.
Frank Alvarez
No way we're stopping, yo.
Joe Santagado
He's screaming at the top of his lungs, stop.
Frank Alvarez
Stop dumping water on his face, bro. It was. We're going, what? He's soaking wet,
Joe Santagado
This guy. Yeah, he was, though.
Antonio Prisco
It's his father.
Joe Santagado
It's my dad.
Frank Alvarez
That is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny, bro.
Joe Santagado
It was so funny.
Frank Alvarez
I'm just. I'm more confused and amazed at this. Confusing. Bro, if someone. If your house was on room Raiders, people will be like, what the fuck?
Joe Santagado
They go to Danny's room.
Frank Alvarez
Body wash, chocolate milk, Fucking glow in the dark, stars in the ceiling. Then they open your side of the nightstand and there's giant fucking vibrators.
Antonio Prisco
Mm, mm, mm.
Frank Alvarez
How many pillows do you sleep with?
Antonio Prisco
3.
Joe Santagado
You got 3.
Frank Alvarez
I got normally 2.
Joe Santagado
You get 1 in the legs, though, right?
Frank Alvarez
Legs. Or. Or, you know, you hook.
Joe Santagado
You get one in a headlock.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Like full Nelson. And then I got one on my head.
Joe Santagado
I go toe.
Antonio Prisco
Well, I don't have. It's probably not great either, but, like, mine.
Joe Santagado
Tell me you don't have sheets on your pillows and I'll come over there.
Antonio Prisco
I have sheets on my pillows. It's normal.
Frank Alvarez
Sheets on the bed.
Antonio Prisco
My bed's up against the wall.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, headboard.
Antonio Prisco
I have a headboard.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you were about to get it. He was about to get it. You saw that, right?
Antonio Prisco
I have a headboard. It's up against the wall. So I put a pillow to, like, stop stuff from falling over in between the wall and the bed.
Joe Santagado
Oh, my God.
Frank Alvarez
Wait, what?
Antonio Prisco
Does that make sense?
Frank Alvarez
Why would there be a giant. I understand we have a wedge pillow thing.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, yeah. I use a pillow as a wedge pillow.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, we have like. They sell, like, big. Like, it looks like a right triangle and it's a pillow, and you, like, put it there so nothing falls in between your bed. And I know what you're saying feels
Joe Santagado
like a design issue.
Frank Alvarez
Well, yeah. I mean, but you can't really tell that when you're buying the bed frame or the headboard or something like that. So like.
Antonio Prisco
Or if the bottom of the wall has that weird little molding so you can't really get the bed all the way.
Frank Alvarez
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Joe Santagado
Correct.
Antonio Prisco
Nothing you can do about it happens.
Joe Santagado
Not you could do about it.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, God.
Joe Santagado
You gonna do. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I also sleep in an ice cold room because Becca likes the fan on every night.
Joe Santagado
Same fan. I don't like wind, but I like cold.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I don't like sleeping in cold.
Joe Santagado
I don't like the wind on my face.
Frank Alvarez
I don't like it.
Joe Santagado
Do you sleep? Do you ever put the covers over your head?
Frank Alvarez
No, No, I don't. I would be too afraid of that, honestly.
Antonio Prisco
Sometimes I do. I put it like this and I go like that.
Frank Alvarez
I. I put your face out.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, you gotta stick your face out.
Frank Alvarez
I. I put my. Like, if this is the blanket, I take my end of the Blanket. And I like, roll it up and put it in between my legs.
Joe Santagado
So you're not even under him?
Frank Alvarez
No, I am. So I'm under it, but like, it comes to like a. Like it fucking curls around me.
Joe Santagado
Oh, like you packed in like a sardine.
Frank Alvarez
Like a little burrito.
Joe Santagado
Like a little Colombian sardine.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Oh, my God. You know what I was thinking the other day because I was burning a candle. This is so out of left field. Yeah. What the fuck is wax?
Joe Santagado
Oil, isn't it?
Frank Alvarez
But it's wax, though. It's not oil. Oil is liquid. It's the liquidy.
Joe Santagado
When you harden it, it becomes wax. Like when you burn a candle. And then like, it's like.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but at room temperature, it's hard. You. You could freeze something really cold to make it hard. Like, where the does wax come from? I know there's beeswax, but, like, is that. That's not wax? Wax?
Joe Santagado
Maybe there's stuff added to it that makes it hard.
Frank Alvarez
Well, what the fuck is wax then?
Joe Santagado
It's. It's oil with some shit.
Frank Alvarez
But they've had wax. You're talking about modern engineered candles. They've had candles from fucking the Mediterranean. No, what is medieval Mediterranean? Yeah. What is that?
Joe Santagado
It's just.
Frank Alvarez
Where are they getting medieval wax?
Joe Santagado
It's probably oil and some other shit, and you just mix it and then it can harden.
Frank Alvarez
But what?
Joe Santagado
I don't know.
Antonio Prisco
Isn't it weird that you can melt a candle, catch the oil, harden it, and there's the candle again.
Joe Santagado
What's that? Can you does it.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, it evaporates eventually.
Antonio Prisco
It's like a little bit shorter, but it's right there.
Frank Alvarez
You can create a forever candle. Like if you have like. I've seen, like, there are like candle dishes where it's like a stick on the top and then like a bowl on the bottom, and once the stick melts, it goes into the bottom and it basically creates a second candle.
Joe Santagado
That's kind of cool. Honestly, like, I love those long white candles and when they burn and then it gets like. Like on the sides, it looks like Halloween. It reminds me of like. Like, oh, there's like an old poisonous woman who. Yes. You know, but then they would give
Frank Alvarez
it to us for, like, our friend went missing in the neighborhood. And they would be like, kids sit there and don't play with these candles that are in your hand that look awesome. And we're sitting there and there's a Dixie cup on the bottom of it, and we're like, yeah.
Joe Santagado
If you.
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Joe Santagado
Ever been to a vigil? Those are good candles.
Frank Alvarez
Great candles. Bad reason to light them. Yeah, I mean, I guess a good reason to light them. To visualize.
Joe Santagado
One time I. I think I walked in the Greek thing.
Frank Alvarez
Oh yeah, the Greek.
Joe Santagado
They got good candles too.
Frank Alvarez
And they, they've got a lot of candles and they smell different from normal candles. They smell like Greek church candles.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I was baptized in a Greek church, so I know.
Joe Santagado
Why did I walk in that? That was not.
Frank Alvarez
It was like a cool thing to do. Like. So what Joey's referencing is Asoria. I don't know what it is now, but growing up it was like the biggest Greek, like concentrated community outside of Greece. And we had a lot of Greek churches and what they would do for
Joe Santagado
like Easter or something.
Frank Alvarez
Easter. And I'm sure there were other holidays too. They would just do straight full on parades. But they would walk like a block
Joe Santagado
and it was like in the middle of the street.
Frank Alvarez
I remember middle of the street.
Joe Santagado
I was at a bar one time and I turned around, I was like, what's going on? I thought it was a culture. Yeah, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
They were coming for you. Yeah.
Joe Santagado
I was like, there's people with candles
Frank Alvarez
in the street, but they were also short. They were like two or three blocks.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And you would walk and like if you were a part of the Greek church, they'd be like. And they'd give you a candle and you'd walk the streets with this candle for like St. Catherine or St. Demetrius.
Joe Santagado
Definitely wasn't Catherine.
Frank Alvarez
No. They got St. Catherine churches. Do they?
Joe Santagado
Yeah, I know. St. Dimitri. Us.
Frank Alvarez
Demetrius, Demetrio. Thank Katarina.
Joe Santagado
I mean, Catherine isn't.
Frank Alvarez
It's Katarina. Yeah, I guess. Saint Yus, Saint Gyro.
Joe Santagado
Stavros.
Frank Alvarez
Stavros. Dimitri, Dimitri, Stavros. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagado
But yeah, that was naming people.
Frank Alvarez
I just, I. I'm not even kidding. Where I did not. I had like 10 minutes where I was like, where in God's name does wax come from? Because everything comes from somewhere.
Joe Santagado
I think it's like oils, but it's like there's probably other stuff mixed in with it.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but how did they know that back in Medieval times, they were mixing
Joe Santagado
all types of shit. I mean they figured out how much stuff they made. Wine. How the fuck do you figure that out? I just left this thing here.
Frank Alvarez
Left grape juice for a couple days. They were like whoa ways again.
Joe Santagado
But why would they leave it?
Frank Alvarez
Because they forgotten because they're drunk.
Joe Santagado
And then they, they also made mead.
Frank Alvarez
I want to have Meadow.
Joe Santagado
It sounds disgusting.
Frank Alvarez
It just sounds like a sweeter wine.
Joe Santagado
It sounds like it's like earthy.
Antonio Prisco
My friend tried to make meat in his closet once.
Frank Alvarez
There's this guy.
Joe Santagado
Who do you hang out with?
Frank Alvarez
There's this guy, it happens. There's this guy on TikTok that makes mead but out of different like he'll make like a Mountain Dew mead or a like grape juice wine like using like store bought juices and sodas.
Joe Santagado
I bet the Mountain Dew meat is good.
Frank Alvarez
I can't, I can't imagine it's bad.
Joe Santagado
It's probably extremely alcoholic.
Frank Alvarez
I haven't, I haven't had a Mountain Dew and like sit down, buy a Mountain Dew, have the whole thing in like 20 years. What other places you have like a sip. Like if someone has a Mountain Dew and I'm just like, oh, let me have a sip of Mountain Dew. But that Mountain Dew that I had, that 20 years ago made quite the impact on me.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Because I to this day now forgotten it.
Joe Santagado
Any sort of drink that has like an electric color, like a, an electric green or electric blue. I'm like, God, that's probably fantastic.
Frank Alvarez
Do you remember mellow yellow?
Joe Santagado
What's that?
Frank Alvarez
It was like the other, it was like the other brand drink or what was the ex Explode or something like that. There was like the. Because you know how it's like Pepsi and Coke.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
The like other brand Mountain Dew was
Joe Santagado
called like somewhat an X.
Frank Alvarez
Something with an X. I remember seeing the bottle and there was just a big black X on it.
Joe Santagado
I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Are you looking that up? Trying extreme. Yeah. And they would like give it out with like Xbox, you know at like Gamestop. You're like here, take this copy of Blinks the time sweeper and have an explode
Joe Santagado
Blinks the time sweeper.
Frank Alvarez
That was a great game.
Antonio Prisco
It's an explode energy drink.
Frank Alvarez
No, Maybe it was a surge. Surge. It might have been. No, it wasn't Surge.
Joe Santagado
Wasn't surge like a 7Up.
Frank Alvarez
Look up. Mid 2000s Mountain Dew knockoff brand drink from the mid 2000s.
Antonio Prisco
Mountain Lightning?
Frank Alvarez
No, Mountain Lightning.
Joe Santagado
Honestly, they should sue them. Mountain lighting.
Frank Alvarez
Close enough. But like if you got the. Do you you're not. If you got the lightning, you got to do. You got the do. You might not have the lightning.
Joe Santagado
I don't even know what that means. But we do have some sponsors. Speaking of, we have Squarespace. Okay. Squarespace is a website where you're going to build your website. All right? If you have an E commerce business or a retail or whatever it is, you need a professional looking website. We use Squarespace for all of our stuff because we think that they make the best looking websites and it's very easy because they have templates. Okay, I can just go on to this website and I pick it out and I say, okay, that's the one I want it to kind of look like. I switch out all the text and pictures to make sure it has all the stuff that I need on there and then you upload the website and you're good to go. But it's very important to have a good looking website. And like I said, I've used Squarespace numerous times and it's very easy. I like that they have a lot of tools to let me know where the traffic's coming from and how many people this and that. There's a lot of metrics and analytics that you get also with Squarespace as well. So they're kind of an all in one. If you're running a website or you have a business, you're going to want to use them. So you can head to squarespace.com basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain when you use that code basement. So build your website, head on over to squarespace.com basement save 10% off your purchase of a website or domain when you use that code basement. All right, so enjoy that. This podcast is also sponsored by Better Help. Better Help is online therapy. So if you want to see a therapist and you want to be onboarded pretty quickly, they have a pretty quick turnaround for getting onboarded with them. And yeah, it is, I will say, more affordable than a lot of in person therapy, which can be really expensive, like hundreds of dollars per session. But yeah, so this is like more affordable than that. And there's a lot of access as well. They have over 30,000 therapists. I'm a bit big advocate for therapy. I think that everyone should be in it. I've been in it for years now and I think it's great. But yeah, so go check them out. BetterHelp and you can sign up and get 10 off@betterhelp.com Basemanyard that is betterhelp.com Basemyard Save 10 off. So go do it. All right? Go get some help. Go talk to a therapist.
Frank Alvarez
Betterhelp.combaseMyard and if you're working on yourself, you want to have things around you that are making you happy and smile and you know what might help with that? If you're listening to this show, you know my help. More vase. The basement Yard Basement yard started. Joey not gonna do it. Listen, go to patreon.com the basementyard and you get more of us. And you had extra of us too. Some of us you got a couple extra inches like ant
Joe Santagado
Jesus.
Frank Alvarez
You can go over to patreon.com the basement yard check out the service. All right, we got different tiers and each of those tiers have different things that you'll get if you join those tiers that first here you get these weekly episodes one week in advance, the seven whole days. So when you know, when you scroll on social media and you're like, oh my God, this is a new clip. Frankie looks more like Jason Momoa every single day. And he looks the most like him in this episode. Well, what is that? That's the new episode that the Patreon members get access to for that tier one subscription seven whole days before anybody else. And that tier two subscription you'll also get the seven whole days thing. But then on Fridays you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with the basement yard and then you got Santa gotta studios videos in between there. We're all over you. We're everywhere for you. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard thank you guys for the overwhelming amount of love and support it is keeping the lights on here and is helping us get the opportunity to, to, to plan and do some cool things for you. It helps out a lot. So thank you. And if you want to sign up, go to patreon.com the basement yard on a web browser if you use a smart app. Well, the tech overlords are going to, you know, have to take extra money from us to feed their lizard mouths. I don't know what they do with it, but you could save yourself a couple extra bucks if you go to patreon.com the basement yard on a web browser and sign up that way. It's kind of a no brainer. Thank you guys. We are so appreciated, so appreciative of the love and all the support. So appreciative. That doesn't sound right. We really appreciate it. How's that Sound. Thank you so much for all the love and all the support. Go check it out. Patreon.com the Basemanyard Back to you. My every bone in my body cracked.
Joe Santagado
I heard the crack.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, it was vault soda. I looked it up when you were reading the ads. Do you remember that one? It had big V on it and it was like, vault.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, open the vault.
Antonio Prisco
I have something.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, chocolate milk, is it? Yeah, A Yoo Hoo. That. You pull it out of your bag. You were the kid. You. I think I've said this before. You probably had the coolest school lunches as a kid because your family is loaded and you have giant balls.
Antonio Prisco
Not back.
Joe Santagado
Not.
Antonio Prisco
Not. Not. When I was little, I didn't have good lunches. I traded up for good lunches. I was a good little, like, trader.
Frank Alvarez
Were you that kid that was just like, I'm gonna trade this paperclip for this high fee?
Antonio Prisco
Paperclips weren't high commodity. But, yeah, something like that. Either way, I have a question. Have you ever looked at a couple and went, are they siblings or are they dating?
Joe Santagado
Of course.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I guess if you're asking if I'm looking at a couple and I know they're a couple, then I know that they're dating. So I've never done that.
Joe Santagado
I can't even follow the logic. What he just said.
Antonio Prisco
You invite him to parties. There's this Instagram page that posts pictures of couples.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, my God.
Antonio Prisco
Or siblings. And I want you to decipher if these pairings are siblings or dating.
Joe Santagado
Okay?
Antonio Prisco
For example, these two. Are these siblings or are they dating?
Joe Santagado
Why does that guy look so familiar?
Frank Alvarez
Also, why does he look like he's AI Created?
Joe Santagado
Wait, that guy looks mad familiar.
Frank Alvarez
He actually does look very.
Joe Santagado
That's Lance Stroll. Is it?
Antonio Prisco
Who's. Who's that?
Joe Santagado
An F1 driver.
Antonio Prisco
Really?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. There's a comment that says, lance, what are you doing here? I was like, what the hell? Am I going nuts? Who's. Well, hold on. Oh, my God. Yes. Lance Stroll, the driver. That's. I. I knew. I knew for. Sorry, hold on. That's Lance Stroll.
Antonio Prisco
Do you know.
Joe Santagado
And he drives for.
Frank Alvarez
You know who he drives for? Joey, you don't want me to do this. And do you know who he drives for?
Antonio Prisco
Murr.
Frank Alvarez
Come on. Burr.
Antonio Prisco
Murr.
Frank Alvarez
Murr.
Antonio Prisco
Murr.
Frank Alvarez
Nice try, idiot. Tell him we're gonna say that. Same time. I mean, come on. Classic. It's a car brand.
Joe Santagado
What color?
Frank Alvarez
I mean, who sees color nowadays?
Joe Santagado
Well, okay,
Frank Alvarez
can we say it together just so I know that you know, I know my fandom is concrete.
Joe Santagado
I'm done.
Frank Alvarez
Three, two, one.
Joe Santagado
Burr.
Frank Alvarez
Nice try, Burr. Nice try.
Joe Santagado
I believe he's Canadian.
Antonio Prisco
That helps.
Frank Alvarez
That does. If he was from. I'm not going to do that.
Joe Santagado
Well, I don't even know what you're saying, but, like, I believe he's Canadian. So her wearing a giant's hat.
Frank Alvarez
Canadians can drive. That's a little joke. I don't know why I did that. There's nothing about Canadians about them not.
Antonio Prisco
I'll get it down.
Joe Santagado
So I'm thinking that these people are dating because she might be from New York, but I believe he's Canadian.
Antonio Prisco
What do you think, Frankie?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I mean, again, Joey's using context clues here, and I am very appreciative of it. The New York Giants hat. If he is Canadian, they don't have football up there and. But they are sitting mighty.
Joe Santagado
Like, if this is your sister. That's a crazy pose.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I'm going to say dating.
Joe Santagado
I'm saying dating, too. Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Whoa, dude.
Antonio Prisco
Siblings.
Frank Alvarez
All right. Okay. I love my siblings. I don't know if I love them.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, that's a little wild like that. That's too much for me.
Frank Alvarez
That's a lot.
Antonio Prisco
All right, what about these? These two siblings are dating.
Frank Alvarez
These two look familiar, too. Am I crazy?
Joe Santagado
Yeah, that guy doesn't ring a bell.
Antonio Prisco
Siblings are dating.
Joe Santagado
He looks like a scarecrow to me.
Frank Alvarez
He looks like. He looks like a werewolf as he's about to transform. Look at his hands. Are his hands not as, like, bigger than his head?
Joe Santagado
I'm going to say these people are, I'm hoping, dating. But, you know, I was thrown off
Frank Alvarez
by the last one.
Antonio Prisco
Why are you hoping again, that.
Joe Santagado
That's like a weird pose. I would never sit with my sister like this. Yeah, that is a.
Frank Alvarez
Hands kind of on the side don't really look alike.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, they don't look alike at all.
Frank Alvarez
Like, normally you could see people and you say like. Okay, I could see the relation there. Like, the features are significantly different.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, I'm gonna say that they're.
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna say dating.
Joe Santagado
Dating, Dating. Dating.
Antonio Prisco
Siblings.
Frank Alvarez
That's a. That's.
Joe Santagado
I'm noticing a pattern.
Antonio Prisco
Over two. Over two.
Frank Alvarez
All right.
Joe Santagado
Jesus Christ.
Antonio Prisco
All right, what about these two?
Frank Alvarez
I don't know what they are dating or siblings wise, but they're fucking staring at me and I feel a hole being burnt in my forehead.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, this is kind of wild.
Frank Alvarez
This is like. What. When you look out and you. Like when you look out of your window and you Hear an owl. This is what you expect to see. Those eyes.
Joe Santagado
I will say. I'm gonna say they're siblings, but if they are dating, they shouldn't, because clearly they are related.
Frank Alvarez
Got it. I will tell you this. If they.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, they look.
Frank Alvarez
They look very similar. Like, look at the. Like, the lips. Yeah.
Joe Santagado
Like, they have the same face shape.
Frank Alvarez
Their nose. Their nose is kind of similar in its build.
Joe Santagado
Listen, man, I think again, if they are dating, then I think they should both do, like, a 23andMe, and then they will find out that there's something.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I'm going to say siblings here,
Joe Santagado
guys going to end up like Frank's family or something.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, why is my family catching strays?
Joe Santagado
I mean, you're one uncle or whatever.
Frank Alvarez
There was one cousin that did marry another cousin, but he's distant enough that it has no blood bearing on me.
Antonio Prisco
These two are dating.
Joe Santagado
Wow. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, now I'm gonna go with
Joe Santagado
the opposite of what I think.
Antonio Prisco
The opposite of what you think?
Joe Santagado
Yeah. That's crazy. Wow.
Antonio Prisco
All right, so let's go. Why not here? What do you think? Siblings are dating, but now you two are locking in.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, now that we've been wrong about every single one, this is, like,
Joe Santagado
a less uncomfortable pose if you're siblings, but still not great.
Frank Alvarez
There's. Have you ever heard of this thing that people do where it's, like the. The like, lean challenge in a picture or something like that?
Joe Santagado
What is that?
Frank Alvarez
Where it's like, they draw a line with the person's, like, posture, and it's like the person that's leaning cares for the person more or something like that. I don't. Dark magic, Obviously I don't know it well enough to be able to describe
Antonio Prisco
it, but it actually looks like they might have multiple pictures. You want to go to the next one? Do they? It might not have the answer. Okay. This help hurt.
Frank Alvarez
Dad does look a little dating, though. Like, it looks a little like we're dating. You know, hey, we're dating. Like, hey, it's us. You know, us. We're dating.
Joe Santagado
Okay. Is there another one or.
Antonio Prisco
No, There might be one more. I don't. There we go.
Joe Santagado
Nope,
Frank Alvarez
I was right.
Antonio Prisco
There was a sneaky four down here. But I don't know what that last one's for. Oh, they voted.
Frank Alvarez
Got it. Interesting.
Joe Santagado
All right.
Frank Alvarez
Have you ever had, like, a.
Joe Santagado
Like a.
Frank Alvarez
A weird, like, oh, no, that's my sister moment or something like that?
Joe Santagado
No.
Frank Alvarez
I think I've told you the story where my sister and I were doing Karaoke. And we were singing paradise by the Dashboard Light. And then midway through the song, had the realization of what the song's about and stopped and just walked off the stage. Yeah, we. It was like, okay, this is.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, we're like, ugh.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Time to. Time to go.
Antonio Prisco
All right, what about here? Siblings are dating.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, that kind of strikes me as siblings.
Joe Santagado
I'm gonna say siblings because.
Antonio Prisco
Wait, there's no way to. What the.
Frank Alvarez
There's no way to tell.
Antonio Prisco
Let's keep that one.
Joe Santagado
Why?
Antonio Prisco
There's no, like, answer.
Joe Santagado
Oh, okay.
Antonio Prisco
For some reason, I was gonna say
Joe Santagado
he kind of looked like Kid Rock.
Antonio Prisco
Oh, all right, let's go here. Siblings are dating.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, that's a tough one.
Joe Santagado
Is that a mullet?
Antonio Prisco
It's a little mullet.
Joe Santagado
Who.
Frank Alvarez
That makes me lean one way a little more. That makes me think that there's a possible Venn diagram situation going here. You said freckled. Like, it's a.
Joe Santagado
They're very freckled.
Frank Alvarez
They're freckled.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, they are. I'm gonna say dating.
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna say siblings because they do look very similar. I'm looking at, like teeth structure. I'm looking at all, like, even the smile, there's similarities. The bone, the cheeks, they look similar.
Joe Santagado
They're under an umbrella. So that makes me feel like they're dating. Dating.
Frank Alvarez
What, an under the umbrella every time. How would that even. How did you even get to that?
Joe Santagado
I don't know, man.
Antonio Prisco
What about.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, man, I'm finding I'm awful at this.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah. Not very good at.
Joe Santagado
Some people just take photos together that are like, nuts.
Antonio Prisco
What about here? Siblings are dating.
Frank Alvarez
Well,
Joe Santagado
That's.
Frank Alvarez
That's really tough. I kind of want to say they're.
Joe Santagado
I'm going to say they're siblings again.
Frank Alvarez
They do look similar. Yeah. Their eyes, I think, because I want to say dating, I'm going to go siblings.
Joe Santagado
I want to say siblings. This is like my sister and siblings
Antonio Prisco
dating.
Joe Santagado
I.
Frank Alvarez
How. How am I this consistently bad?
Joe Santagado
How can we not get one?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I think I got one and you got one. We both single handedly got one. Have you ever seen like a couple in public and like be like, oh, they must be siblings and then they kiss or something like that? We recently spoke about, like, you will see like people on first dates and you'll like, imagine like what they're talking about and stuff.
Joe Santagado
These people are siblings.
Antonio Prisco
Siblings.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. I can just tell the eyes. The eye, like the structure of the forehead and the eyes.
Frank Alvarez
I do nothing. I. I win nothing by being Contrarian here. So I will.
Joe Santagado
I will agree with Joey.
Antonio Prisco
Siblings.
Joe Santagado
Siblings.
Antonio Prisco
Siblings.
Frank Alvarez
Great job.
Joe Santagado
Got one really good job.
Frank Alvarez
That never happened to me.
Joe Santagado
But what did happen to me was the opposite. So one time I was at a wedding, and there was this girl there, and I was with MP and we were, like, dancing at this wedding, and we. We. We know this girl. You know who she is, too? And first and last. Nope. And initials. If I gave you her initials, you wouldn't know who it was. But we were noticing. We thought that she was, like, fighting with her boyfriend or husband or something, and we were like, damn. Like, they're, like, clearly, like, unhappy people or, like, whatever's going on. And then we saw them in the airport, and it was like, their whole family is like, oh, this is her brother. So, like, they didn't look that alike. But I thought they were dating for some reason because they were, like, fighting or something, and I was like. I thought they were, like, I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Interesting. There was, like. There was like, a.
Joe Santagado
Those people are siblings.
Frank Alvarez
Right in the middle.
Joe Santagado
Those white bastards here. Nope, nope. Dead center here. Yep. Those white bastards. Those are siblings. Siblings, Absolutely.
Antonio Prisco
Frankie.
Joe Santagado
They have to be this.
Frank Alvarez
There's.
Joe Santagado
The bone structure is so niche and unique. They have to be siblings.
Frank Alvarez
Man, that's so tough. I don't know. The eyes. The eyes are so different, though.
Joe Santagado
But the jaws.
Frank Alvarez
The eyes are so different.
Joe Santagado
There's no way. Siblings.
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna go dating.
Antonio Prisco
Dating.
Frank Alvarez
Get out of here. How did you find your job match? That's unbelievable. There was a growing up. I'm not gonna. Not even growing up. It was later into, like, my, like, teenage years. There was, like, a family that was, like, tangentially around, like, the friend group and stuff like that. And I'm not obviously not gonna say who they are, but, like, the joke was that the brother and sister were, like, really close.
Joe Santagado
Whoa.
Frank Alvarez
Like. Like.
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Joe Santagado
You know these people?
Frank Alvarez
Um, yes. You've met. Not. I wouldn't say know them. Like, if I told you their name, you'd be like, uh, like, if I. Not.
Joe Santagado
Well, it was around you, not me.
Frank Alvarez
No, no. Like, they had come around, like, once or twice.
Joe Santagado
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, did they? No, maybe they didn't. But, like, the. The point of it was just like, they were very like, ew, I'm leaving the room. I'm coming with you.
Joe Santagado
You know, like a brother and sister.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. And like, just people just being like, okay.
Antonio Prisco
No, it was weird, but okay.
Frank Alvarez
What?
Antonio Prisco
No, no. Is it like, friends were making fun or was it like, family was like,
Frank Alvarez
you know, I don't know who was making fun on their end. I can only tell you that the people that I heard from, everyone was just, like, interesting.
Antonio Prisco
There was once I saw, like, oh, they're siblings. I was like, oh.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, there. There's definitely, like, ugh. Yeah, there's like, weird lines like that. That. Yeah, you can't.
Joe Santagado
But also, like, if I was, like, at a thing, right. And I saw, like, if I was at your house and your sister was there and she was sitting on your lap on a love seat and had her arm around you, I'd be like, what do you do?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I get that. I'd be like, oh, like, I get
Joe Santagado
that for a second. But, like, come on.
Frank Alvarez
I think. Listen, I'm not gonna sit there and say that you're wrong completely. I think that there is, like, a weird. Like, there. There is an age, and I don't know what it is where like, that becomes from. Like, it's just like, siblings to, like, weird.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, into it. Seemingly all the people we're seeing here are into their adulthood.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
That's when it gets a little weird. But, like, if it's like, you know, 12 and your older sibling is, like, 14, like, you could. You could kind of chalk it up a little more.
Joe Santagado
Well, I also can see how an older sibling that has a very sibling would be more affectionate.
Frank Alvarez
Like, if.
Joe Santagado
If the older sibling was, like, 18
Frank Alvarez
and their younger, like, siblings, like, five
Joe Santagado
or, like 10 or something.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, like, that's like.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, that's. That's.
Joe Santagado
You know what I mean? Like, that's. That's different, but, like, close in age. Like, you guys are two years apart and you're both, like, in your mid-20s and sitting on each other's laps is a little wild to me.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I agree.
Joe Santagado
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Antonio Prisco
I like them.
Frank Alvarez
They're good. I forgot to pee. Pee again.
Joe Santagado
Again?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, like I Was supposed to go pee but I forgot again.
Joe Santagado
Don't say pee.
Frank Alvarez
Pee. Why not?
Joe Santagado
34 Whiz. Is that not 1998?
Frank Alvarez
Is that better? I'm gonna go whiz.
Joe Santagado
I gotta go. I hate when people say, I gotta go take a leak. I'm like, ew.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, take a leak. I. I'm fine with. I hate the one where they like tell me about their penis. Where they go like, I'm gonna go drain the main vein.
Joe Santagado
It's like, definitely not your main vein.
Frank Alvarez
Definitely not.
Joe Santagado
Jugular. Are you telling me you're gonna go slit your throat back there?
Frank Alvarez
Jugular is an artery. Well, you know that.
Joe Santagado
It's a vein though.
Frank Alvarez
Name one other artery.
Joe Santagado
Your Cartered. Whatever that is. All right, good. There you go.
Antonio Prisco
No, you got it. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Carotid.
Joe Santagado
Carotid.
Frank Alvarez
And the femoral. Right. I know that one because a Dexter.
Joe Santagado
And it's in the leg. The femoral.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagado
Next to your femur.
Frank Alvarez
There you go.
Joe Santagado
I honestly just did that with context clues. It's just something I like to do.
Frank Alvarez
I'm surprised you knew the femur was a bone.
Joe Santagado
You don't respect me.
Frank Alvarez
I do respect you.
Joe Santagado
You don't respect me as a human.
Frank Alvarez
First of all. Absolutely. I don't think. First of all.
Joe Santagado
206. 206.
Frank Alvarez
I talk about how smart you are all the time. I think that you are incredibly smart.
Antonio Prisco
Okay.
Joe Santagado
You think I don't know what a femur is? It's the most famous bone. No, who's the most famous bone?
Frank Alvarez
Humorous. It's kind of funny.
Antonio Prisco
I got it.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. Write that down. That's got to be like a hundred dollar fine or something.
Frank Alvarez
Why am I getting fined?
Antonio Prisco
I vote for the tailbone.
Frank Alvarez
Tailbone is not.
Joe Santagado
Tailbone's not the most famous bone.
Frank Alvarez
The worst. Name one. Is the coccyx. I'll tell you that.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Definitely not by your cock. And there's only one of them.
Joe Santagado
Mark them down again. Yeah, I got. What?
Frank Alvarez
Come on. Why am I getting marked there? That's fucked up.
Joe Santagado
What is the most famous bone? Collar.
Frank Alvarez
Collar's a good bone.
Antonio Prisco
Skull.
Frank Alvarez
Skull. Is the skull a bone or a collection of bones?
Joe Santagado
It's a skull. You know, it's a skull.
Frank Alvarez
But is. But isn't. Aren't there Bones are teeth. Bones. No, those are enamel.
Joe Santagado
What is that?
Frank Alvarez
It's teeth. I think it's like what our nails are also made out of. Or is that. You know what?
Joe Santagado
Watch.
Frank Alvarez
I don't like this. You know what? I don't really know.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Antonio Prisco
I can't accept the answer of skull, because it's 22 separate bones.
Frank Alvarez
There we go. See, I told you.
Joe Santagado
Nose.
Frank Alvarez
Nose bone. There is no nose bone. Your nose is cartilage.
Antonio Prisco
There's no bone.
Frank Alvarez
Are you serious?
Joe Santagado
So hold on.
Antonio Prisco
That's bad.
Frank Alvarez
So hold on. See, now you think. I think you're an idiot because I'm surprised that, you know the femur is a bone, but there you are spewing out, you got a nose bone.
Joe Santagado
There's no bone whatsoever.
Antonio Prisco
So what do people break still their nose?
Frank Alvarez
They break the cartilage.
Antonio Prisco
You ever see a skull? It has. It's not. There's nothing there.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, you know, we can break. Wait a sec. What do we. Now hold on.
Joe Santagado
You better hope there ain't a bone.
Frank Alvarez
You better hope, too. Giggles in trouble.
Joe Santagado
Is there a nose in your bone?
Frank Alvarez
But, yeah, that's backwards.
Joe Santagado
Is there a bone in your nose? No, no, no, don't.
Frank Alvarez
No, no.
Antonio Prisco
It's cartilage. It's cartilage.
Frank Alvarez
This is the hardest cartilage on the planet.
Antonio Prisco
It's cartilage. Cartilage.
Frank Alvarez
Damn. So I was right. See, I knew it. You're an idiot.
Joe Santagado
There are bones in your nose.
Antonio Prisco
Don't. Don't read that part.
Joe Santagado
They only.
Frank Alvarez
That's the answer.
Joe Santagado
They only make up the top part. Specifically the upper third. Yeah, the bridge, bro. This is hard bone.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, but it's not a nose bone.
Frank Alvarez
He's kind of. All right, now. I'm back on.
Joe Santagado
He's jutting out. This is your nose here, buddy.
Frank Alvarez
I'm back on. Joey's smart. Nance an idiot.
Joe Santagado
The two lower thirds are made of cartilage, which is why the tip of your nose is flexible. Yeah, like this part. I didn't think this was a bone, obviously, but this is a bone. Yeah. And.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, see? I'm so sorry. Do you see what. Do you see what he made me do?
Antonio Prisco
That was.
Frank Alvarez
He gave me incorrect information to gas me up here. I am a gas. Well, I think that it was a
Antonio Prisco
trap just to see if Frankie would jump ship. And he jumped ship right away.
Frank Alvarez
I did jump ship, but now I'm back swimming on your ship. All right. Swimming over. Back to your ship.
Joe Santagado
Swimming.
Frank Alvarez
I left my ship of calling you an idiot, and now I believe that you're smart again.
Antonio Prisco
The problem is that bone isn't considered your nose.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, but it makes up your.
Joe Santagado
I mean, this is what I'm referring to.
Frank Alvarez
It makes up the structure of your nose.
Joe Santagado
Breaks their nose. I'm assuming they're talking about the bone. And you can't break cartilage.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, you can.
Frank Alvarez
No, I think that's the whole point of it being cartilage is that it won't break.
Joe Santagado
You can't, like, break this. You break the, like, the bone.
Antonio Prisco
I got it.
Frank Alvarez
See, I'm sorry. I'm here to apologize, admit my wrongdoing.
Joe Santagado
That's why you're here.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Not because I get paid. I want to. I will bow to you if you need me to.
Joe Santagado
Ew. Oh, actually, no, that's.
Antonio Prisco
Let him bow. Make a bow.
Joe Santagado
I would like to. I think we should. We should take that from the Japanese. We should bow. I'd be cool, like, saying hello.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I think we've taken a lot from the Japanese over the last century. I think we should, you know.
Joe Santagado
Are you referring to the technology or the lives?
Frank Alvarez
I'm referring to a. An all encompassing.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
View of it. I do like bowing, and I'll do you one better. I want to, like, if I ever go to Japan, I want to be told what to do. Like, I want. So, like, I saw recently that there's a minor league baseball team where Hideki Matsui was there, and I was like, oh, this would be so cool if I went and got to meet him. But would I shake his hand or would I bow? Because I wouldn't want to be disrespectful. You know, I want to make sure I'm being responsible and, you know, respectful. But I want someone to say, like, hey, by the way, you're meeting Hideki Matsui. You can. You can bow or you can shake his hand. I want to be.
Joe Santagado
I just want to be told his nickname was. What?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I'm not.
Joe Santagado
Was Godzilla. Right.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. I, I. Looking back, it was 2003 when he made his nickname was Godzilla.
Joe Santagado
I can imagine you being a little
Frank Alvarez
drunk off, like, go. I know, I know. Godzilla. Hindsight. Hindsight it was. Why give him that nickname? You know, like that. That was bad.
Joe Santagado
Shout out to Hideki manu, World Series MVP. Right?
Frank Alvarez
In 2009. Yeah. If you look at those numbers. Boy, oh, boy, did he put on a clinic.
Joe Santagado
Slapping the thing.
Frank Alvarez
He put on a clinic.
Joe Santagado
How did we get here? What are we talking about?
Antonio Prisco
I thought the nose didn't. I can't believe.
Joe Santagado
Oh.
Frank Alvarez
What I was saying. I am sorry.
Joe Santagado
Oh, we're back. Frank.
Antonio Prisco
Bow.
Joe Santagado
I don't really know how to accept.
Frank Alvarez
I am. Can I.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I'm sorry.
Joe Santagado
Okay. It's okay. What more do you.
Frank Alvarez
Let me finish. Oh, so you know what I'm sorry for? What's so funny?
Joe Santagado
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, no. Wait.
Joe Santagado
What?
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna apologize. No, no, no. I'm gonna apologize. You stop. No, I'm not stopping, Frank.
Joe Santagado
You have your hands under the desk.
Frank Alvarez
No, no, no. I'm sorry. I was just playing with the loop of my. What do you think I was going to do?
Joe Santagado
Loading up something or. The last time you did this, you had a fake wiener, so I don't know. I did.
Frank Alvarez
I did. I did. I'm not doing either of those things. I was just playing with the loop of my drawstring. I am sorry. Yeah. I incorrectly assumed the status of surprised thinking that you knew what a femur was, and that was diminishing your intellect. I will never question you again. Please don't let this be the end of us.
Joe Santagado
I can't even begin to explain how uncomfortable that is to sit through.
Antonio Prisco
I'm not apologizing for the nose thing. I don't think it's the nose.
Joe Santagado
I know that. You don't.
Frank Alvarez
You're only doing that to be contrarian. Has anyone ever told you you're contrarian?
Antonio Prisco
King Conch over there.
Frank Alvarez
King Conch? Yeah. Whatever I got. Fine. Triple it and fucking swallow it.
Joe Santagado
Triple it and fucking swallow it.
Frank Alvarez
That was bad.
Joe Santagado
King Conch.
Antonio Prisco
All right, I'll write it. Sorry.
Frank Alvarez
You.
Joe Santagado
I feel like you don't even write stuff over there.
Antonio Prisco
There's a bunch of stuff. Should I start posting what I write?
Joe Santagado
No. Yeah, that would be funny.
Antonio Prisco
I'll start posting your hat, by the way.
Joe Santagado
You've worn it a bunch of times. What does it mean?
Antonio Prisco
Vroom.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
It's the sound of car. Bates.
Antonio Prisco
This is this.
Frank Alvarez
I'm back to thinking you're a fucking idiot.
Joe Santagado
I know that.
Frank Alvarez
I'm so sorry.
Antonio Prisco
This is a. This is from the Cartathon.
Joe Santagado
Oh, okay. It's from Cargo. Vroom.
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, it's coming up. July,
Joe Santagado
you plug another thing. Your head off. Come over there.
Frank Alvarez
Can I ask you a serious question, and this is like a legit question.
Joe Santagado
Wait, wait. Be careful.
Frank Alvarez
Don't set me up.
Joe Santagado
Buckle in.
Antonio Prisco
Don't. Don't set me up here, because.
Joe Santagado
Do you.
Frank Alvarez
Do you, like. Please. Do you, like, specifically wear picky boy stuff to come here and record?
Antonio Prisco
No, it's just all you. I have.
Joe Santagado
That's all I got. That's all I got is literally all I have. Just all I got.
Antonio Prisco
That's all I have.
Frank Alvarez
All right. I was wondering just a little.
Antonio Prisco
I threw out more clothes to make space for more.
Frank Alvarez
More picky boy stuff.
Antonio Prisco
I did.
Frank Alvarez
I'm with you. I love The Santa Gatta Studios merch and, like, the show merch and all the stuff that we did. I'm dead serious. I'm not, like, trying to be like a. Go buy it at Shop Santa.
Joe Santagado
Gotta Studios.
Frank Alvarez
I like. We make legitimately good quality shirts and stuff. Like, those tour shirts were unbelievable. They were. They were so good. Oh, like, how they feel. I'm tactile, you know that.
Joe Santagado
Do you just pull stuff out and you touch it?
Frank Alvarez
If I'm gonna buy a shirt, I need to feel it. Make sure I like it first.
Joe Santagado
Are you a fidgety guy? Did you get really into fidget spinners when they came out?
Frank Alvarez
No, I, I, I, I, I don't know if I had one or if someone I knew had one and I played with it, but I, I'm sure I fidget.
Joe Santagado
I love a fidget spinner.
Frank Alvarez
Fidget spinners. Like, I like the ones that were like. It was like a cube and it had, like, a button or a.
Joe Santagado
My sister got me one of those.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. That I. That I like.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. Because it's got buttons, then the other one's like a joystick.
Frank Alvarez
Yes.
Joe Santagado
And then there's one's like a switch.
Antonio Prisco
You get.
Frank Alvarez
Yes, that one's.
Antonio Prisco
And I'm like.
Joe Santagado
Oh, I like that.
Frank Alvarez
I do. Like, I pick at my fingers, which, you know, is an issue that I have.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. See defense there.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. I mean. Hey, man.
Antonio Prisco
Sorry.
Joe Santagado
That was good.
Antonio Prisco
I didn't expect. Because of the. Because of the band aid to stop
Joe Santagado
yourself from chewing at the. You didn't notice that he wears bandit.
Frank Alvarez
Are you crying?
Antonio Prisco
Yeah, a little bit.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you laugh at alcoholics, too, you freak.
Joe Santagado
He's, He's.
Frank Alvarez
You heartless. What are you talking about?
Joe Santagado
Oh, that. You're an addict for this.
Frank Alvarez
I'm not an addict, but it's just, it's how I cope,
Joe Santagado
you know why he has to cope? Tell him. I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Well, they could get infected, and I don't want that to happen.
Joe Santagado
Right.
Antonio Prisco
Are there any teeth marks in the band aid because you forget sometimes?
Frank Alvarez
No,
Joe Santagado
that was a good question.
Frank Alvarez
I gotta say. I gotta say, me, I don't like what he's doing, and you're kind of fucking gently patting him on the back and pushing him in that fucking direction
Joe Santagado
the last 10 minutes. I feel like it's. This is not my show. You guys have been. And I'm Switzerland.
Frank Alvarez
You gotta bow again. He needs it.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, all right.
Frank Alvarez
Sorry. What? Not. You bow, too. Thank you so much. This is not. This is not my show. You heard him say that mine. And then he looked at us. I'm so sorry.
Joe Santagado
No, I'm saying that you guys are going back and forth with each other. First of all, that thing put you in a good mood. If that's not selling you on angry. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Jesus Christ. You went from fucking. He. He's an aha's. To Giggles McGee over there.
Joe Santagado
Accurate acriot. Gosh.
Antonio Prisco
My bad.
Joe Santagado
Gosh.
Frank Alvarez
Gosh. Gosh.
Joe Santagado
What's.
Frank Alvarez
What are you laughing about now? You got a gig now what are you doing? What the hell is funny with you? I think you said that, bro. I don't even know why I'm laughing Now.
Joe Santagado
Now.
Frank Alvarez
This is no longer my show. How's that bow to me? That's not even what I meant by that. Bow to me. Oh, well, how am I gonna. The deeper the bow, the more respectful the respect.
Antonio Prisco
Oh, that was good bow.
Frank Alvarez
That was a good bow. Now he's breaking shit. This episode is getting off the rails. You're drunk. You're an idiot.
Joe Santagado
You don't know bones.
Frank Alvarez
You don't know bones.
Joe Santagado
I know bones.
Frank Alvarez
Can you name. How many bones can you name?
Joe Santagado
206.
Frank Alvarez
No.
Joe Santagado
Oh, I can't name that.
Frank Alvarez
I asked you.
Joe Santagado
Collarbone. Femur. I almost said Lima, Peru.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, that is in Peru.
Joe Santagado
Nose. Skull.
Frank Alvarez
Well, the skull's a collection. The skull's a collection of bones. All right.
Antonio Prisco
It's 22 bones, actually, so he named 22.
Frank Alvarez
If you just say skull, that's like if I say baseball. And I named all the players.
Joe Santagado
Mandible.
Frank Alvarez
Okay, I don't think.
Joe Santagado
Finger.
Frank Alvarez
Those are called the phalanges.
Joe Santagado
Elbow. Forearm.
Frank Alvarez
Is elbow a bone?
Joe Santagado
No, probably not. They probably have, like, crazy Jurassic names, and I don't know them. Do you know bones?
Frank Alvarez
I know some humerus. Tibia. Fibia. Femur.
Joe Santagado
Tibia. Tibia is a good one.
Frank Alvarez
Patella.
Joe Santagado
That's a tendon. No, patella tendon.
Frank Alvarez
This isn't the patella. Your kneecap.
Antonio Prisco
It is your kneecap.
Frank Alvarez
Thank you.
Joe Santagado
What is the patella tendon, then?
Frank Alvarez
I think it's the patellan.
Antonio Prisco
Is that what attaches to the kneecap kind of thing?
Joe Santagado
I thought the patella was the patella tendon.
Antonio Prisco
It says patella.
Frank Alvarez
Maybe it's.
Joe Santagado
It's Cruz broke his.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, no. Years ago. I don't care about Victor Cruz.
Joe Santagado
That's the reason why I know it.
Frank Alvarez
You think I care about that?
Joe Santagado
Should.
Frank Alvarez
Phalanges. Coccyx. Hip.
Joe Santagado
Ribs.
Frank Alvarez
Rib bone.
Joe Santagado
Spine. Dude, spine.
Frank Alvarez
Isn't the spine. Like, there's the thoracic spine, there's the lumbar. Spine. There's, like, different parts of it. Yo. Spine. The spine is crazy, dude.
Joe Santagado
There's fluid in it, bro.
Frank Alvarez
There's fluid. There's little, like, little discs of. In between the bones.
Joe Santagado
What is that?
Frank Alvarez
And then, like, it has, like, it. It looks like a spine, if that makes sense.
Joe Santagado
Yeah, like the fact that there's oil in it. Not oil, like liquid. And you gotta, like, drink. Like, it's, like, mad important, bro.
Frank Alvarez
You take some of that liquid and people will, like, lose feeling in their legs and. Like that. Yeah.
Joe Santagado
What is that? It's like magic liquid.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know what kind of liquid it is, but. Spinal fluid, yo. We're idiots.
Joe Santagado
Ocular. What's this called? Oh, my God. UFC fighters break it all the time.
Frank Alvarez
Ocular.
Joe Santagado
What is this called? Your eye bone?
Frank Alvarez
Optical lens? No. Why is that funny?
Antonio Prisco
Orbital.
Joe Santagado
Orbital.
Frank Alvarez
Orbital bone or roll.
Joe Santagado
We don't know any bones, dude, but
Frank Alvarez
we don't need cheekbones. Yeah, who the are we? We're not doctors, believe it or not.
Joe Santagado
Also, if a doctor. What is a doctor gonna do with knowing a bone? If I broke my bone, I wouldn't be like, name the bone. I'd be like, fix the bone.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I hope they would be able to tell you which bone it was so then they can fix that bone.
Joe Santagado
But forget about knowing the but if I break my arm, I don't even be like, oh, you know what the scientific name for this is? I'd be like, doctors, fix my fucking arm.
Frank Alvarez
Well, it's good that they know it, but you don't need to. They don't need to show off like the waiters that sit there and remember, you know, your fucking order.
Joe Santagado
Full circle.
Frank Alvarez
Is that this episode? I don't even know.
Antonio Prisco
No, that was not.
Frank Alvarez
They all seem to fucking bend together. Meshing, melt together. Oh, completely random, Aunt. It's not your show anymore. You see the trailer for the. Oh, you're bowing to me again.
Antonio Prisco
No, that was a him.
Frank Alvarez
How far down can you get?
Antonio Prisco
Don't.
Frank Alvarez
What trailer for Evil Dead. Burn.
Joe Santagado
Wait, before you answer that, you ever try to suck your own winner way
Frank Alvarez
before you answer that?
Antonio Prisco
Probably.
Frank Alvarez
Are you happy? Probably.
Antonio Prisco
Which one? Which one? To me. Happy? No, same.
Joe Santagado
I'm asking you a question.
Frank Alvarez
I'm asking you a question.
Joe Santagado
I said, have you ever sucked your own wiener? And you said, probably.
Antonio Prisco
No, no, no. Tempted, you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, how? Like, I didn't get close. That was probably the follow up. I kind of jumped that gun.
Joe Santagado
No, I wasn't even thinking that. But I mean, that's a fair question. Have you? I don't think so.
Antonio Prisco
You haven't tried?
Joe Santagado
I think so.
Antonio Prisco
Frankie looks like a trier.
Frank Alvarez
No, I have not tried because I'm flexible enough to believe that if I did try, I would do it.
Joe Santagado
Oh, you think you could get that thing?
Frank Alvarez
I.
Joe Santagado
Not now.
Frank Alvarez
Maybe like 10 years.
Joe Santagado
In your prime.
Frank Alvarez
In prime flexibility. Age.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And I wouldn't want, like. I wouldn't be able. Like, how do you live with that?
Joe Santagado
It's Pandora's box.
Frank Alvarez
You know what I mean? Once you open it, it's what you pop. You can't. Cursed world. Once you pop, you can't stop. Is it actually possible I can guarant, bro. There are people bending the other way. I mean, you could fit.
Antonio Prisco
You could.
Joe Santagado
You know, like, if you see, like, gymnasts, they can, like, fold in half.
Antonio Prisco
That's true.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I don't know, because, like, if you bend someone at the hip, like, just like, the angle of where. If this is.
Antonio Prisco
I'm not gonna use.
Joe Santagado
Can't bend that.
Frank Alvarez
All right. Say this is a person.
Antonio Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Okay. And say this. Not. Not drawn to scale, obviously. And this is their wiener. This is their mouth.
Antonio Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Like, when you bend.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. It's, like, not lining up.
Frank Alvarez
It's not lining up. So, like, you'd have to, like, bent and, like, curl.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
To, like, there was have to be
Joe Santagado
a very, very flexible and very thin person.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I imagine.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
You know, which.
Joe Santagado
No, I wasn't saying. Yeah. Saying me.
Frank Alvarez
He was. You saw that, right? I was saying, like. I saw that. No. Oh, no. Now you're on his side.
Antonio Prisco
I'm always on his head.
Frank Alvarez
You have to be legally.
Antonio Prisco
I signed something a while ago.
Frank Alvarez
Employment wise. You have to be on his head.
Joe Santagado
You have to be legally in the court. The court says you do.
Antonio Prisco
But no. No avail.
Frank Alvarez
No avail.
Antonio Prisco
No avail.
Joe Santagado
Well, maybe if you try real hard,
Frank Alvarez
get someone on OPL who's like, I do this. I do this myself. I found out and I did it forever.
Joe Santagado
I'm sure that maybe will pop up one day.
Antonio Prisco
Yo.
Frank Alvarez
That. That. Could you imagine what a.
Joe Santagado
What a, like, conundrum.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Like. And this is a. This is a serious question here. Yeah. Would you consider that a homosexual encounter?
Antonio Prisco
It's masturbation. Maybe.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. I don't. I don't think so.
Antonio Prisco
If you.
Frank Alvarez
That's masturbation plus. That's a premium account.
Joe Santagado
Yeah. That is. To be fair, I don't know if
Antonio Prisco
I'd pay for it.
Joe Santagado
There's no ads. There is.
Frank Alvarez
There's no Ads.
Antonio Prisco
So what if you had a clone
Frank Alvarez
that's like Mickey 17? I didn't see the movie, but I know that was in the trailer. He was. Robert Pattinson was fucking himself.
Joe Santagado
Well, I fell asleep in that movie. Not because it was bad, but because I was. I was. I was a little tired.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, wait, you actually watched it?
Joe Santagado
It was on.
Frank Alvarez
You didn't get to the part where he had sex with himself?
Joe Santagado
I would have remembered that.
Frank Alvarez
Interesting.
Joe Santagado
I didn't get the whole. I think I got, like, 10 minutes in.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, clearly you missed the whole.
Joe Santagado
Mark that down. I feel like we're getting off the rails here, and maybe we should just. Oh, you know.
Antonio Prisco
Oh, okay. Oh, hello.
Joe Santagado
How do you end a podcast after talking about sucking your own wiener? Yield conversation.
Frank Alvarez
I think you transition into something that's a little more palatable.
Joe Santagado
Let's talk football. Football, Football.
Frank Alvarez
Are you ready for some football?
Joe Santagado
We're not even close to football.
Frank Alvarez
I know, I know. But they're announcing the schedules soon, if they haven't already by the time this comes out. I'm excited. I'm trying to clean it up for the end of the episode. Joey, forgive me here.
Joe Santagado
We went from talking about bones to sucking our own wieners. That was completely my fault, by the way. I want to take full blame.
Frank Alvarez
You should. And you know what? Oh, oh, oh, that's a good one.
Joe Santagado
I'm going to double.
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna.
Joe Santagado
I'm gonna bow to the audience as well, because that one's on me. But we're gonna end that there before this gets any. And then also
Frank Alvarez
you. Yeah, that fucking phone gets me every time. Every. That is one of the best additions to the show. Outside of me. That has ever been made.
Joe Santagado
Yes. Outside of me. I got it.
Frank Alvarez
What is that?
Joe Santagado
Would you write down Boo.
Frank Alvarez
He just does nothing. I'm letting you know. I'm letting you know you and I are going to have a talk solo.
Joe Santagado
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And then you'll disseminate the information to him.
Joe Santagado
Oh, what's that word?
Antonio Prisco
I like it.
Frank Alvarez
Disseminate. Trickle it down to him.
Joe Santagado
Oh, seminate's crazy. That sounds like I'm doing like.
Frank Alvarez
You're doing like you're seminating yourself.
Joe Santagado
Sounds like we're right back into the conversation now. Yeah, again, my fault. Frank, where can they find you?
Frank Alvarez
He looked up to make sure. Disseminate. Actually remember what it is. And it is so he doesn't want to say it because I'm right.
Antonio Prisco
You two. He's right.
Frank Alvarez
The Frank Alvarez all over social media. Go check it out. Check out patreon patreon.com the basement yard and the basement yard at all forms of social media and Aunt Prisco on
Joe Santagado
Instagram and you can go follow me at Joe Santagado. Go follow the show at basemyard on Tick tock and Instagram. That is all. See you guys next time. Beautiful.
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Guest: Antonio Prisco
Date: May 25, 2026
In this lively and irreverent episode, Joe, Frank, and Antonio tackle the hilarious internet phenomenon “Siblings or Dating?”—an Instagram challenge that involves guessing whether pairs in photos are siblings or couples. The episode spirals in typical Basement Yard fashion, veering into sleep habits, nightstand confessions, bodily functions, and bone trivia, all while wrapped in the trio’s signature banter and playful ribbing.
Nighttime Bathroom Strategies:
Partner Dynamics & Bedside Water:
Spilled Drinks, Odd Items, and Cereal Catastrophes:
What’s in Your Nightstand?
Number of Pillows:
Blanket Fort Technique:
What Is Wax, Anyway?
Candle Memories:
Antonio: “Have you ever looked at a couple and went, are they siblings or are they dating?” [34:33]
The trio marvels at how often looks and poses can mislead and the inherent weirdness in sibling intimacy:
Mutual Teasing:
On Bowing:
Fidget Habits:
On Trying to Suck Your Own Wiener:
On Sibling Closeness:
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------| | [03:39] | “When it comes to having to piss in the middle of the night, logic escapes.” | Frank Alvarez | | [04:34] | “When you finally get the chance to pee, your penis is like, ‘we’re gonna let it out slower than normal.’” | Joe Santagado | | [08:57] | “This was like a year ago, bro.” (re: chocolate milk in bed) | Antonio Prisco | | [13:12] | “Spoiled milk smells up there with the worst smell.” | Frank Alvarez | | [22:15] | “If this is the blanket, I like, roll it up and put it in between my legs.” | Frank Alvarez | | [26:20] | “They would give you a candle and you'd walk the streets with this candle for, like, St. Catherine or St. Demetrius.” | Frank Alvarez | | [37:14] | “If this is your sister, that's a crazy pose.” | Joe Santagado | | [44:23] | “I think I got one, and you got one. We both single-handedly got one.” | Frank Alvarez | | [54:03] | “You think I don’t know what a femur is? It’s the most famous bone.” | Joe Santagado | | [61:42] | “I'm back to thinking you're a fucking idiot.” | Frank Alvarez | | [69:41] | “You ever try to suck your own wiener?” | Joe Santagado | | [72:43] | “That's masturbation plus. That's a premium account.” | Antonio Prisco |
The episode is a rollicking mix of gross-out humor, sincere friendship, and unfiltered curiosities. From bathroom shenanigans to deeply silly anatomical discussions, and an endless stream of inside jokes, this week’s Basement Yard feels like hanging out in the back room with your funniest friends—completely unpredictable, a little chaotic, and always entertaining.
And follow the show: @basemyard (TikTok & Instagram)