#557 - An Interesting Love Story

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard #557 – An Interesting Love Story
Released June 1, 2026
Hosts: Frank Alvarez, Joe Santagato, and Ant Prisco
Presented by Santagato Studios

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic, freewheeling Basement Yard conversation, featuring the trio’s signature blend of childhood nostalgia, ridiculous hypotheticals, pop culture tangents, and irreverent humor. The episode's main throughline is a hilariously botched summary of the new "Wuthering Heights" adaptation starring Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie – but expect extended detours into childhood TV, anatomy misunderstandings, bizarre relationship customs, kink shaming (and understanding), and plenty of out-loud laughs.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter & Outfits (00:00–05:00)

• The hosts rib each other over their wardrobe choices:
  • Frank is decked in a Hawaiian shirt, Ant in all blue ("Cookie Monster"), and Joe brings up matched “tones.”
  • Frank gets teased for looking like Cookie Monster, kicking off a debate about what constitutes "matching" in outfits.
  • This leads to a playful but heated discussion: “If Big Bird walked in here, I'd be scared, bro. A big ass bird." (Frank, 02:24)

2. Childhood TV Nostalgia (05:00–14:00)

• The guys reminisce about their childhood educational TV:
  • "Sesame Street," "The Magic School Bus," "Osmosis Jones," "Monster House," "Big Comfy Couch," and "Lamb Chop."
  • Frank admits he didn’t really watch "Sesame Street," but the characters “went further than the show.”
  • Memorable moment: “When you see her (Molly from Big Comfy Couch) doing splits like that in kindergarten, it's waking you up.” (Frank, 13:44)

3. Anatomy Class Fails: What is a Vulva? (07:23–11:32)

• The trio attempts—disastrously—to define anatomical terms (vulva, labia).
  • Frank fumbles: “It's in the vaginal. Like in... at the house. I don't know what room it is but it's on the property." (Frank, 07:37)
  • Ant (the fact checker) finally Googles and clarifies: “External genitalia, encompassing all visible parts... mons pubis, labia majora, labia minora, clitoris...” (Ant, 10:14)
  • Extended wordplay about menorahs vs. labia minora.

4. Puppet Shows, Olden Days, and Hygiene Hypotheticals (14:00–17:00)

• The conversation takes a wild left turn into puppet show history: “You know how trash life must've been? The puppet show is coming to town!” (Joe, 15:36)
• Leads to musing about sex and hygiene in historical times: “You got a buckle on your head... let me undo this and let my hair down... and it's just a white wig.” (Frank, 16:48)

5. Botched Movie Review: "Wuthering Heights" 2026 Edition (17:00–30:00)

• Joe attempts to summarize the new film; the others interrupt, riff, and wildly misinterpret Victorian romance tropes.
  • Joe’s understanding: Poor, stinky Jacob Elordi falls for Margot Robbie, gets rejected, becomes rich and “hot,” exacts petty revenge.
  • Notable moment: “He says to the new girl: ‘I'm gonna marry you. And I'm gonna be rough with you. That type of thing. And we're gonna, like, demons.’” (Joe, 23:25)
  • Hilarious confusion over plot points: chain-up scenes, barking like a dog, and pregnancy drama.
  • Frank’s summary: “They never matched their stink up to go full stink together. They never sent the stink.” (Frank, 48:00)

6. Relationship Kinks & Social Etiquette (35:40–47:38)

• A lengthy, comedic digression about encountering “pup play” or other bedroom kinks as a houseguest.
  • “If your wife and she's a dog... that's what you do in your own time, that's fine. It's just not for me.” (Frank, 37:25)
  • Hypotheticals: what if a guest pees on a wee wee pad? Is cat play “worse" than pup play?
  • Joe and Ant are mostly curious and accepting; Frank is good-naturedly judgemental.
  • Callback: “If you’re gonna pup, go full pup.” (Joe, 47:36)

7. Fashion Tangent: Fishnet Shirts & Nipple Science (60:48–64:53)

• Frank teases Joe for his “fishnet” shirt at the I Heart Podcast Awards.
  • “If you were really wearing a fishnet shirt, I'd see your nipples, brother.” (Frank, 62:18)
  • Ant demonstrates a dubious “center chest, drop hand = nipple” trick.
  • Friendly ribbing about body image and wardrobe choices.

8. Feel-Good TikTok Tearjerkers (66:51–73:05)

• The trio discuss TikToks and online videos that recently made them unreasonably weepy:
  • Elderly folks in retirement homes, lost loved ones, kids meeting Disney princesses.
  • “He, he's going like, 'And now, the end is near.' Well, yeah, that's kind of fucked up to sing that to a bunch of old people!” (Joe, 67:18)
  • They reflect on the emotional weight of parenthood and childhood innocence, praising Disney for their in-park experiences.

9. Video Game Nostalgia: Tony Hawk, Madden, MVP Baseball (73:16–76:18)

• Triggered by talk of “Dragula” and Goldfinger, the group shares favorite sports and skate game soundtracks.
  • “All of MVP baseball 2005. Tessie!” (Frank, 75:29)
  • Brief callback to Tony Hawk and NFL/MVP baseball classics.

10. Closing Out: Mario Kart and Miscellaneous Farewells (76:18–77:31)

• Ant plugs his upcoming "Kartathon" (implied Mario Kart tournament).
• Gentle ribbing: “What's gonna happen if I just stomp out your controller?” (Joe, 76:38)

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Notable Quotes & Time-Stamps

• “If Big Bird walked in here, I'd be scared, bro... that's a big ass bird.” (Frank, 02:24)
• “You got a buckle on your head... let me undo this and let my hair down... and it's just a white wig.” (Frank, 16:48)
• “They never matched their stink up to go full stink together. They never sent the stink.” (Frank, 48:00)
• “If you’re gonna pup, go full pup.” (Joe, 47:36)
• “If she was like, ‘I wasn't the OG pup, my partner at the time was really into it, so I indulged’—I’d be like, that's fire.” (Joe, 46:32)
• “If you go over to someone’s house and... they wear a diaper, ‘I gotta go change them, I'll be right back.’” (Frank, 36:31)
• “That would [make] me a bad guest? I'm fine with that.” (Frank, 39:34)
• “All of MVP baseball 2005. Tessie!” (Frank, 75:29)
• “You don't need to like it. It's there.” (Frank, 55:21 – on his Diplo joke)
• “How did we get there? We were talking about your fishnet obsession.” (Frank, 64:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment Description | |---------|------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Outfit banter; "Cookie Monster" teasing | | 02:24 | Big Bird & kids show nostalgia | | 07:23 | "What is a vulva?" anatomy rabbit hole | | 14:00 | Puppet show history & olden times stench | | 17:00 | Wuthering Heights comedic recap | | 23:25 | BDSM and dog play in the movie, outrageously described| | 35:40 | Social etiquette and kink in relationships | | 47:36 | "If you’re gonna pup, go full pup." | | 60:48 | Fishnet shirts & nipple placement game | | 66:51 | Sad TikTok & parenthood reflection | | 73:16 | Video game soundtrack nostalgia | | 76:18 | Mario Kart streamer plug | | 77:24 | Plugs & outro |

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Casual, raunchy, and affectionate: The hosts let their inside jokes and references fly, but always double back to clarify. The humor is self-aware, occasionally crude, but never mean-spirited.
• Pop culture through a personal lens: Even discussion of a prestige film devolves into riffing about hygiene, jealousy, and weird relationship dynamics.
• Self-deprecating and honest: No one claims authority, and cluelessness (whether on anatomy or literary classics) is played for laughs, not shame.
• Vividly nostalgic: Kids TV and childhood experiences fill the conversation – and the episode’s emotional closing segment is unexpectedly moving.

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Perfect For:

• Fans of comedy podcasts with ADHD energy and zero filter.
• '90s/2000s kids who love a heavy dose of nostalgia.
• Listeners who enjoy movie reviews that go completely off the rails.
• Anyone who appreciates honest talk about weird social situations (with a lot of jokes).

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Listen for:

• A botched “Wuthering Heights” summary that becomes a metaphor for “right stink, wrong time” love.
• A surprisingly thoughtful debate about kink etiquette in social settings.
• A playful but heartfelt reflection on childhood joy, nostalgia, and the fleeting nature of time.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the base.

[B]

Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Your first Hawaiian of the year.

[A]

I think literally not. I think I've worn other ones.

[B]

Ah, not paying attention.

[A]

Yeah, it's all right. It's me, Frank Alvarez, here with Ant. Ant Prisco. How are you? And Cookie Monster.

[B]

Oh, I was like. I thought you were calling him Cookie Monster.

[A]

No, that would be you. Cuz I'm wearing the color blue. You're blue Abadi Abadai.

[B]

I'm just wearing a blue sweater, you bastard.

[A]

And the blue hat. It's very blue.

[B]

You're wearing a matching hat as well.

[A]

Yeah, but first of all, if we're getting specific, you're not matching. If you really want to do it.

[B]

It's called different tones.

[A]

I don't care. It doesn't adhere to what I believe. Matching is correct. So it doesn't. It's not real correct, but I am matching quite nicely. And Ant said it's cause I complimented him. Ant said right before we started recording, he looked at me and he goes, very aesthetically pleasing outfit you're wearing. Nice. Yeah, it was nice. You're a Cookie Monster.

[B]

So, okay, when you get a compliment,

[A]

what's wrong with being Cookie Monster? When you get, he's a great member of the Sesame street game.

[B]

You're trying to make fun of me. Let's get that out of the way too. I'm not.

[A]

I'm trying to acknowledge that you are.

[B]

Gives you a compliment. And instead of paying that forward, the good energy, you're like, I'm gonna take a big steamy, corny poop on Joe's head.

[A]

See, why did you do that? You knew what you were doing by bringing up the corn fecal matter. Oh, need it be so fucking abhorrent and disgusting.

[B]

Listen, I don't. I'm not the one who doesn't digest corn. Actually, I am, but we all know the world is. I didn't decide that as my point. That was.

[A]

God, the issue is not with the corn digestion part of it.

[B]

Whatever. God.

[A]

Yeah, I love how you did that. That was very nice.

[B]

Every God.

[A]

Cookie Monster, though. There's no issue like you're tying something negative to being called Cookie Monster. What's wrong with that?

[B]

I was paying attention to the tone. We don't have to.

[A]

I'll try it again. Here's what I said, I'm here with Cookie Monster. I didn't go, I'm here with Cookie Monster.

[B]

I mean, we know. We know you.

[A]

I'm here with Cookie Monster.

[B]

Okay, that would be even weirder Why? I don't know. That was terrifying.

[A]

Fuck you. You wouldn't get excited to see Cookie monster?

[B]

I am 34.

[A]

Some parts of life.

[B]

I'll tell you this with you, Cookie Monster, whatever. I'm telling you this right now. If Big Bird walked in here, I'd be scared, bro.

[A]

A legitimately big bird.

[B]

Huge biggest bird.

[A]

A big ass bird. And I think what makes big Bird look bigger because it might be one of those things where like it's he, she, he, she. I'm not quite sure what big birds pronouns are is so big. But it looks bigger because the fucking. What's it called, bro? That's huge.

[B]

A fucking big ass bird, dude.

[A]

Huge dude.

[B]

Let's get the height.

[A]

Can we get the height?

[B]

Can we get the measurements?

[A]

Actual measurements of big.

[B]

What's his 40?

[A]

I mean gotta be like seven feet tall. Eight two, dude.

[C]

Eight two.

[B]

Big Bird is eight two to see what I'm saying.

[A]

Big Bird is crazy. That's a big ass bird, dude.

[B]

Couldn't stop Big Bird.

[A]

Oh, probably could.

[C]

He probably could.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

We don't know.

[A]

You know not why you're speaking of God. You're speaking of his God. You are the biggest rider for wemby, bro.

[B]

Big Bird is back in webanyama down, flying through the air and dunking on his French head. If you.

[A]

Is he French?

[B]

Yeah, God,

[C]

quite French.

[A]

Okay, yeah. I'm taking Big Bird in a basketball game. Obviously isn't going to beat an actual basketball star, but like beat me probably has a jump, a jumper. Wait, he's got crazy eyes. Dude. Go back to the Big Bird. Like the anatomy of Big Bird.

[C]

Big Bird do be playing basketball.

[A]

Is Big Bird balling up?

[B]

What could you possibly have looked up at that moment?

[C]

Big Bird playing basketball. He was. He was dunking with Elmo.

[A]

See, see Elmo's like a little bit Elmo. Oh, like that. I don't like that.

[B]

Isn't he small?

[A]

I definitely is small. But I was that how Big Bird works? But also how. Because of the arms. Like he moves another arm.

[B]

Yo, bro,

[A]

first of all, this is off Reddit, so take it with a fucking, I think dumb trunk of salt.

[C]

I think it's pretty accurate.

[B]

Could be. I mean, is it?

[A]

Is Big Bird's right arm not moving ever?

[C]

I guess. Well, it looks like it's on a dual swing here.

[B]

There's a pulley system of sorts going on inside this Big Bird.

[C]

I think it has to work like this. The person in the custom is not eight foot.

[B]

Yeah, duh.

[A]

Yeah. But I imagine it would be something. Don't you dare point your fingers at me. I didn't point.

[C]

I kind of did one of those.

[A]

I assumed it was gonna be hands, hands, feet, feet, feet. And then the mouth is on, like a jaw system. Like a jaw system. So it talks with me.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

That would make the most sense. Or I thought that this dude would

[B]

just be on stilts in there, but. Yo, go back to the Google.

[A]

Okay, well, the other the one up, Big Bird. Yeah. Dude.

[B]

There was a picture of him standing next to a man. If you exit out of that.

[C]

Exit out of what?

[B]

Of the picture. Like, click the X. There's a picture of him standing next to a man. Where is it?

[A]

Down to the right.

[C]

Where was it?

[B]

No, nevermind, nevermind. I can't find it. I don't know. Fucking disappeared.

[A]

Big Bird is a giant ass bird. I love. I love Elmo, though. Why do you call Elmo a bitch?

[B]

He's small. He's not 8 foot 2.

[A]

Yeah, that. In that regard. Little.

[B]

I never really got into Sesame Street. It was not something that was ever on in my house, to be honest.

[A]

It wasn't on, but, like, it was one of those brands that just, like, went further than the show. I'm sure I watched it as a little kid, but, like, I feel like I saw more of Sesame street characters and never watched the actual, like, program.

[B]

Did you learn from TV at all? Like, you know how that's, like, it's. It's meant to teach you stuff, brother.

[A]

There was. I took from Magic School Bucks.

[B]

Magic School bucks.

[A]

A good 100 magic school bucks. We all had some Magic School Bucks.

[B]

I. I knew what blood vessels were because of that.

[A]

Yeah, I remember when they, like, in the vessels.

[B]

What's the thing?

[A]

No, white blood. Like, white blood cells.

[B]

Oh, blood cells.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, white blood cell. Red blood cell episode I learned from Osmosis Jones.

[B]

That's a good one, too.

[A]

Good one. But also that movie's filthy. Disgusting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bill Murray's, like, sneezing up a store. Is it Bill Murray or Chris Elliott?

[B]

It's Bill Murray. Okay.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

What was he dying from?

[A]

All the fucking sneezing.

[B]

And also there I remember specifically. The only reason why I know what this thing is called is because of Osmosis. Osmosis Jones, where it's like, oh, you gotta head to the uvula. And he's like, what's that? And he's like. It's a little dangly thing. And he goes in his boxer shorts and he turns the car to go towards the cock. And then he's like, no, it's in its throat.

[A]

Oh, I prefer the.

[B]

That's the story.

[A]

The mid-2000s masterpiece Monster House. The joke that they made, it's Monster House. It was like a haunted house movie with, like, animated kids that look. They had, like, the issue where, like, they look like they're from the Polar Express. It's terrifying. But he was like, oh, it's the house is uvula. And he's like, I thought it was a boy.

[B]

He's thinking Volvo.

[A]

I mean, a very common mistake, that.

[B]

What's the Volva? Frank, tell me what a volva is.

[A]

A German car.

[B]

Volvo. Is that German even?

[A]

Are they German?

[B]

But what's a vulva? Tell us.

[A]

It's in the vaginal. Like in. It's in the. It's at the house. I don't know what room it is, but it's in. It's on the property.

[B]

If you had to. Let's all guess what the vulva is.

[A]

You know what's funny is one of the first episodes we did, let's guess

[B]

what the vulva is. Let's get on track.

[C]

Here's a good try.

[A]

Yeah, it's one of the, like.

[C]

Here we go.

[A]

Well, why don't you start?

[B]

Well, I'm hosting.

[A]

Do you know? Honestly, do you know?

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Mm.

[A]

So then tell us.

[C]

Everyone knows what that is, Frankie. You have to say it.

[A]

Yeah, nice try. I will be 100% honest if I knew it or not. Tell us what it is.

[B]

No, that's not what we're doing.

[A]

We do it.

[B]

Do it. We're all gonna say what we think it is.

[A]

All right? At the same time, we're all gonna say it.

[B]

No, we're not.

[A]

Yes, we are.

[C]

Frankie.

[A]

Hot seat.

[C]

Hot seat. Hot seat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why am I put on the hot seat here? I'm the co host.

[B]

Exactly. And I'm asking the question. Who else is gonna answer?

[A]

He owns the company. He's pulling that card on me. You saw that.

[B]

Not how that works.

[A]

I think. I think that's exactly how it works.

[B]

If you don't want to answer, you don't have to.

[A]

I think I will answer, but I'm not going to answer because.

[B]

Okay, moving on to talk about.

[A]

Well, what do you think the Volvo is?

[B]

Frank, we're asking you now.

[C]

I don't think you actually know what it is.

[B]

If you had to guess. I'm just asking you to guess.

[A]

I think. I'm not. You know what? I'm not quite sure. I Am not.

[B]

And it is that he's right here. You know what? Actually, evidently, I am not quite there.

[A]

I am not there. I would. I know it's.

[B]

What do you know about it?

[A]

I know the general area down, down in the, like, I can give you the. I could, I could narrow it down

[B]

to like a square meter.

[A]

A square.

[C]

That's big.

[A]

A big meter. Yeah. A square foot.

[C]

He's already saying words like inside and in, so.

[A]

Well, I think that there is an opening on a woman.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we know that. Duh. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

These, like, these specific.

[C]

Just point. Point.

[B]

Yeah. Dead center or. Yeah, I mean, Right.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Okay, good. You have a guess. No, no, no.

[A]

Oh, my God. You're doing a hook.

[B]

You're Do a hooking thing.

[C]

No, I was, I was trying to, like, mimic.

[A]

You were trying to make it mimic.

[B]

So, vulva.

[A]

Yeah, it's up.

[C]

Might be thinking labia.

[B]

Right. Okay.

[A]

What's the labia?

[C]

That's the outside thing, I think.

[B]

The outside thing, I think.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is something.

[A]

He's looking up. He's looking up.

[C]

He's looking up. He's cheating.

[B]

He's cheating.

[A]

He's cheating. He's cheating. He's looking it up. He's cheating. I'm absolutely not. Look up the external genitalia, encompassing all visible parts between the legs, including the mons pubis, labia, majora, labia, menorah, clitoris, vaginal opening, urethral opening. You think I would look that up? I knew all that.

[B]

That's the vulva.

[A]

That's the whole thing.

[B]

Did you say menorah back there?

[A]

Yeah, I think just menorah and, like,

[B]

majora, majora, Menorah, like, but the menorah, the, the Jewish.

[A]

Not, not in the, the.

[B]

How is that not. How is there not a comparable.

[A]

Like, I think there's a different spelling and a. Just different thing.

[B]

Well, yeah, I didn't, I didn't think there was eight candles down there.

[A]

Yep. I, I, I don't think there is, but I knew all that. I just wanted to make sure that the verbiage I was putting out was 100% accurate. It's, I don't like.

[B]

So, again, it is.

[A]

I don't like to say things here unless I'm, like, really confident.

[B]

Right. So is it inside or outside?

[A]

It's the collection. It's. It's the binder of Pokemon cards. You get what I'm saying? Like, yeah, you might have a lugia. You might have an entei. You might have a, you know, a reshiram. In there. But the first gen, the whole binder, okay. Is the vulva.

[C]

Frankie doesn't know vulva.

[B]

I mean, you don't know vulva.

[A]

Stop writing stuff down like you're trying to play Gotcha. And the.

[B]

And the labia, you didn't really give a good one.

[C]

I mean, I knew it was kind of the external. He kept saying inside.

[A]

I mean, what is? What is? That's not right.

[C]

That's not right.

[A]

If not an inside from outside. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

He's got a point with that. I'm gonna have a noseble thinking about how that sounds.

[A]

Get here from Sesame Street.

[C]

Mr. Mr. Anatomy Boy. Mr. Anatomy Boy.

[A]

I don't get it. You have an issue with Elmo. You have an issue with Cookie Monster. I guess you're only cool with Big Bird.

[B]

No, I'm saying I didn't really watch that.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't watch it much either. I did love Snuffleupagus, though.

[B]

There was a VHS tape that me and my siblings used to watch that. It was called, like, We Sing or something. And it was one of those things where it was like. Like, head, shoulders, knees and toes. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Vibe. But it was like, almost animatronic or something.

[A]

Was it with Yo, I am going to.

[B]

I think it was a movie, though.

[A]

I don't know. There was like, one of those tapes that we had to a similar thing, but it was about, like, littering in the ocean. And it was like an animatronic starfish and fish and otters and like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, it's so, like, ingrained in my mind that I had. They had all those tapes back then where it was just like, cleaning up and using the potty for kids.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And like, clean up time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's the lady on the couch?

[A]

Big comfy couch.

[B]

Big comfy couch.

[A]

What was her big comfy couch?

[B]

I just remember her body was the clock.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With that.

[A]

She got up there, dude.

[B]

She was limber.

[A]

She was like, It's 6 o'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

Or no, she'd be like, It's 5 o'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

One leg was over here, one leg was over there. Yeah, dude. And like, it went around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To get there, she's, like, making a return. Big what? Big comfy couch is, like, on its way back.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Did you watch Big Comfy Couch?

[C]

I gotta see. I was trying to keep up with

[B]

what you guys listen to the name. If you don't know it, you definitely don't.

[A]

You definitely.

[B]

It was a Giant comfy couch.

[A]

And she sat on it and she would, like. Like, dust bunnies would pop out of it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Dust bunny, you're here. Yeah.

[C]

With the nose.

[A]

Y. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I think I've seen a little of it.

[B]

I had a crush on her in, like, kindergarten.

[A]

Well, when you see her doing splits like that in kindergarten, it's waking you up.

[B]

I wasn't thinking about.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think any girl, if I'm not me.

[A]

But I could see why someone would have that.

[B]

I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I probably had a crush on, like, everyone.

[A]

Big comfy couch was a big one. That was like our generation's lamb chop.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because lamb chop was, I think, the 80s. And it was, like, with the curly redheaded woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was lamb chop.

[C]

We talked about this a little bit before, and I didn't bring it up. But you. You know the puppet alf?

[B]

Yeah, of course ALF scared the out of me.

[C]

What is. I was, like, terrified.

[A]

No, alien life form is what it's short for. It's the one with the nose. They made, like, shows about it in the 80s and.

[B]

Oh, I've seen it, but I never watched this at all.

[A]

Why does that scare you?

[C]

Yeah. What are you talking about? Look at it. Look at this.

[B]

I don't really like it. It looks like a hairy pig.

[A]

Puppets and animatronics from the 80s and 90s are fucking rad.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Like, remember that show Dinosaurs?

[B]

Are puppets a thing anymore? Like, do people have puppets? Like, you got puppets for your kids?

[A]

Puppets?

[C]

We do have puppets.

[A]

We got puppets.

[B]

Yeah, I got.

[A]

I have some. I have Lamb Chop, Hush Puppy, and whatever the other one's name is. Like, I have them. Why does it bother you that much? But, like, puppets are still a thing. Like, there are books now that have, like, puppets built into them and shit like that.

[B]

Books with puppets?

[A]

Yeah. And they're not, like, super and, like, crazy ones, but you can go. You know how, like, Christmas Village around Bryant park during. During the holiday season, they got puppets. There's one stand that you can go and just buy puppets.

[B]

Dude, speaking of puppets, how funny is it that, like, when we watch movies or TV shows about the olden days, the entire town would gather around a little shack and someone would put on a show with puppets, and everyone's like, this is fire.

[A]

You know how trash life must have been? Like, you're excited. Like, the puppet show is coming to town. Yeah, that's crazy. And I'm gonna watch a little wooden puppet walk across a plank.

[B]

Yeah. And it's like, oh, and there would be like, the king is like a puppet and then he gets embarrassed and then the person who, who wrote the play gets killed.

[A]

Well, it's because all this time they were going back to their house and dying by scurvy. Yeah. You know, like, this wasn't cool.

[B]

Dude, think about what was sex like back then? Because we're not showering.

[A]

I mean, they're staying. They were bathing. Joey.

[B]

They were bathing. I think they're bathing and like they're, they're getting like a three day old bucket of water and they're being like. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I, I imagine that it

[B]

was like Game of Thrones. They're banging.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, that's what, you know, that's a good.

[A]

Because isn't there that the, like, where did we go that one time? The Museum of Sex or something like that? Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they went through, like, wasn't there a portion of it that like went through like old timey sex? Like, not like showing you, like, this is how the pilgrims were banging.

[B]

Old timey sex.

[A]

It must have sucked, dude.

[B]

Oh, my God. Pilgrims banging each other is gross to think about.

[A]

I mean, because I've taken an hour

[B]

to get all that.

[A]

All the buckles.

[B]

You got a buckle on your head.

[A]

All the buckles. Let me undo this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And let my hair down.

[B]

You know, like it.

[A]

And it's just a white wig.

[B]

You imagine like with, you know, like in movies where it's like you take your pants off and the girl like unbuckles your pants. Like, imagine like, let me take your hat off and just unbuckling your hat and you're getting horny because you're.

[A]

Well, do they have any movies or anything like, about like love in those times? I guess, like, love withering heights.

[B]

Which, by the way, have you seen it?

[A]

No, I haven't seen it.

[B]

I saw it.

[A]

The One with Margot Robbie. Speaking of Big Bird. Jacob Elordi.

[B]

Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie. I watched it. I get the overall, like, love and the thing, however, there's a curveball in there out of nowhere, and I'm like, is that necessary?

[A]

Which was.

[B]

Do you want to know? I'll just, I'll just spoil spoiler.

[A]

I mean, I am, I am not going to be anytime soon watching it.

[B]

I will spoil Wuthering Heights for you guys. Whatever. But it's a love story, right? Margot Robbie and Jacob.

[A]

I think I know the general, the gist of it.

[B]

Like, what's your understanding?

[A]

Like, they were like, he was like, adopted and, like, they were raised by the same family.

[B]

He was, like, a poor kid. Yeah, they, like, found him.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. And they were just like, come on, come live with us. And it's like his transit just to, like, live amongst the royals or something like that. And then they, like, fall in love because he's the scrappy little street rat. So it's Aladdin, is it?

[B]

Aladdin?

[C]

No.

[A]

No. So.

[B]

So, yeah, he's just, like, a poor kid or whatever. And then he, like, finds his family, so he's staying with them. But in the beginning of the movie, it's Jacob Elordi, but he's all up. He's got long hair, his beard's all. And he's, like, sweaty and. And whatever. And him and the girl clearly have some sort of rapport, but whatever.

[A]

He.

[B]

They secretly. They're both kind of in love with each other, but they don't really know. And whatever. The girl is gonna marry some royal guy who's in town now. Gotcha. It helps at that.

[A]

Like a snobby British guy.

[B]

He might have been British.

[A]

I think they are all British in the movie, aren't they?

[B]

Could be.

[A]

He's just not. No, it's got to be. I'm a Marian. He was.

[B]

He didn't sound like that, but there was a lot of rain in this movie.

[A]

The posters had a lot of liquid. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. It was raining like hell.

[A]

It was a lot of moisture on the posters.

[B]

They kissed each other a couple times. But it's like, she needs to marry this guy because they need to level up. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can't. You're poor, bro.

[A]

And you.

[B]

And you smell like the. The horses. So that was kind of like the vibe.

[A]

You let me know what side you're on, I guess.

[B]

No, no, I'm just saying, like, this is. This is the. The. The.

[A]

That, like, yo, I don't want you. You stinky.

[B]

Basically. She's not saying, you stinky. She's. She's being like, bro, I gotta, like, live my life, you know, Like. And he's. So. He overhears that she's gonna marry this guy. Gets tight bounces.

[A]

He does. Yeah. He's just like, yo, I'm out.

[B]

He's like, I'm dipping.

[A]

Where's he going? Final.

[B]

He go. He disappears into the mist.

[A]

You watch.

[B]

That was the other thing. Mad mist in this movie.

[A]

Misty.

[B]

Mad, Misty.

[A]

Misty Movie rides off into the mist.

[B]

Now she's pissed. Where's my guy? Question.

[A]

Any lanterns?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And candles. And, okay. And like, ruins. There's, like, ruins around.

[A]

Still don't understand how they had candles.

[C]

Currently her. The person she was pursuing ran off. Not Jacob.

[B]

She wasn't pursuing him. No.

[A]

I'm gonna get married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're gonna get married and not marry me because I just stink a little. Yeah.

[B]

And then. And then he rides off because he's like, yo, whatever. I stink for sure. But, like. But love.

[A]

But like, when they found him, he didn't, like, start to smell better because he was, like, living with a rich family now.

[B]

He was.

[A]

He was.

[B]

He was. But they're.

[A]

They're like, you can't ever watch this stink of. Of, like, life off. You know what I mean? But he certain stinks. Follow you.

[B]

He worked, I guess, in there, like, stable or something. I'm getting details wrong here.

[C]

Stable boy.

[B]

So then he.

[A]

Well, it's horse stank.

[B]

He dips, right? So she marries this guy. Blah, blah, blah. She's having a good time or whatever. She's pissed because she's like, I can't believe this guy left me. And, you know, by myself. He's going to come back. At first, she was distraught. She was sitting on the edge of a moun. And she's like, no, he's gonna come back. Delusional.

[A]

Wait. Waiting for him. He disappears into the mist. She thinks that she's gonna wait on a mountain for him.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

She's like, famously, no mist on top of mountains. Snow. Right.

[B]

It's like a cliff.

[A]

Oh, so you should have specified a

[C]

cloud could get up there.

[B]

But he. She's up there on the. On the. On the side of this cliff. And she. And she's telling, like, the other mage. She's like, he's gonna come back. He's just fucking with me. Like, he'll be back. Don't worry. He's a little dramatic. Doesn't come back.

[A]

Doesn't come back.

[B]

Years.

[A]

How long years does he come back? Still stinking.

[B]

Let me come. Let me get to that.

[C]

That's not how the story would go, I don't think.

[B]

Dude pulls up rich and hot.

[C]

Yeah, right. Sounds like he found a genie.

[B]

So he pulls up rich and hot. He disappeared. He got his life together. I don't know what the. He did. He probably, like, you know, whatever, but he came back. Now he's rich and hot.

[A]

Y' all be honest. This really does sound like Aladdin. Say it like, he comes back to Prince Ali. Fabulous. He Ali a Bob.

[C]

Is there a pet? Is there a cat?

[B]

There's no cat.

[A]

Any animals?

[B]

No animals. So hold on, hold on. Kind of an animal. I'll let you know. I'll get there.

[A]

Is he an animal? Stinky animal.

[B]

Gonna talk. So he gets back, right? And now he's rich. And she's like, oh, wow, you look so good. Or whatever. And then obviously they have some certain conversations.

[A]

How long is this movie? This is all happening in two hours.

[B]

Yeah, dude, if you watch a movie, there's a plot. My g. So then they start having conversations, and then he's like, you know, he wants her. He wants to be with her type thing, and she doesn't want to. Now, I gotta remember, if I remember this correctly, then he's. He decides. So let's just fast forward through some mishmash here. He decides, okay, there's another girl, right, who's like, I think that dude's sister or some. But she, like, lives in the house that that dude lives in or something. So he's like that, I'm gonna. I'm gonna marry her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just to piss off this girl. Just piss off Margot Robbie. So now it's this type of thing, right? However, this is where the wrench comes into the movie and I'm like, kind of a nest. Tells her the girl, right? He go, not Margot Robbie. He tells her. He goes, I'm gonna marry you. And all of this is just to piss her off. It's just to get her mad, okay? And by the way, I'm gonna. We're gonna. But we're gonna like demons.

[A]

Like, I'm gonna be loud. Stinky.

[B]

Yeah, he's not stinky anymore.

[A]

I mean, again, certain stinks of life stay with you forever. If you're still a stinky Astoria alleyway boy, I'll take it for the rest of your life, no matter how many blue sweaters you wear. Sorry, that was unnecessary. That was. That. Would that fair? I'm sorry. So anyway, so he says this to demon.

[B]

No, he says to the girl, he's like, yo, we're gonna get married. I'm just. Just getting, like, her pissed off. And we're gonna. I'm gonna be rough with you. That type of thing, right?

[A]

And what does she say?

[B]

She's like. It's. She's kind of like, under the spell. She's like, whatever you say. Jacob Elordi. Now you're rich.

[A]

I mean, and he's also tall as hell. Yeah, yeah. You never. It's like, tall, stinky and rich. Crazy combination. I mean, wait, how does he get rich? Did they ever specify how? He no longer Became.

[B]

They may have. I was kind of in and out. They do breeze over that, though, where

[A]

he's just like, oh, shipping or something

[B]

like that, probably, yeah. Import, export.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Logistics? Private equity. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Social media.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So. So then they start showing. They start showing stuff.

[A]

What do you mean showing stuff? Like sex?

[B]

Yeah. Like sometimes it would be like he would sprawl her out on the table, and then the maid would go walk in. He'd be like, it's okay. You can stay and watch. I'm like, yeah, what? He would, like, chain her up. He would like this type of shit.

[A]

I thought Withering Heights was not bro. 50 shades of gray. I thought raise like a romance. This just sounds like chain fucking demons.

[B]

Then at one point, in the mist. Shut up, Frank. Shut the hell up.

[C]

Get him.

[B]

Then at one point, Margot Robbie gets sick. The maid over there comes back because she's like, I gotta let this guy know. She walks in the door. He's sitting over here with an apple.

[A]

Like, you with the knife, with the apple. Oh, I think that was a private conversation or a Patreon conversation, whatever.

[B]

So he's like, eating an apple with a knife. That type of shit. The girl who he, like, married or. I don't even know if they got married.

[A]

Demon fucked. Yeah.

[B]

She's in a. In a. She's got, like, a chain and she's chained up to, like, the fireplace. And she's on all fours like a dog. And she's, like, barking.

[A]

And the lady's like, what the is going on in here? Why are you so pumped?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

But, like, it's like. I'm like, what the is. So Margot Robbie walks in, sees Jake Robbie.

[B]

It's her maid.

[A]

But I thought you said his maid walked in and she was. He was just like, yo, you can watch. This is cool.

[B]

Different maid, I think.

[A]

How many made do these people have?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It was back then, 1800s.

[C]

Many a maid.

[B]

So she's. So then she's on all fours, barking

[A]

like a dog, and he's like a legit. Barking like a dog.

[B]

And like, that was the whole point of that. It was like. Because it was like a, you know, I've got her under the spell type of thing. Whatever. He finds out Margot Robbie's sick, so now he's like, what the. She's dying.

[A]

And, like, he lets her off the leash.

[B]

She had. I think she was pregnant at one point. I'm. This all the way up. Oh, she was pregnant. She got sick oh, and the baby is. This dudes is Jacob Elordi's.

[A]

Wait, they did sex?

[B]

They. Each other.

[A]

They did stinky sex?

[B]

Yeah, they did. They did. And I think it was his baby.

[A]

Oh, no, it wasn't his baby. Yo, you gotta figure this. Hold on.

[B]

I got it, I got it. It wasn't his baby. He thought it wasn't. She's like, it's not yours. He was tight.

[A]

How do they know that back then?

[B]

How well she knew that? Like the timing.

[A]

That's fair. Yeah. So she checked her vulva.

[B]

She did. She got a pap smear. I don't know. Yeah, I know. But then he's. So then she's like, yo. She tells him, like, yo, she's dying. Like, you know, like, whatever. Oh, that's when he like was like, I'm gonna get back at this girl. Because he found out she was pregnant with that dude and he was like, it's not mine. You for life.

[A]

I'm gonna have my girl bark like a dog. Exactly.

[B]

That was the payback.

[A]

Natural payback.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If anyone ever gets your. The love of your life ever gets pregnant, you just find someone adjacent to her and turn into her dog.

[A]

For the record, I haven't watched this movie. I imagine that there's points to all this that you are just completely skipping.

[B]

I don't know that that's true.

[A]

I can.

[B]

I really think I'm nailing it.

[A]

I believe it was directed by emerald fennel.

[B]

And like Emerald fennel sounds like an herb.

[A]

Well, fennel is.

[B]

It's a plant and it's green and.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think there's any dogs in Aladdin.

[B]

No, no, no, but hold on, hold on.

[A]

There's birds, There's a tiger.

[B]

So the. So the ending is the beautiful part where she's dying from like sepsis. This is green. Or like white. She's like laying.

[A]

So now the irony. Now she stinks.

[B]

She's dying in her bed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he. He's trying to get there to see her before she dies. And spoiler. Doesn't.

[A]

And she doesn't die.

[B]

She. No, he doesn't make it. She dies.

[A]

Ah, well, you. You just. You crazy. You're spoiling it. Like four month old movie.

[B]

I said spoiler.

[C]

No, he's doing fine. He's doing fine.

[A]

So I'm fully.

[B]

I said spoiler.

[A]

Spoiler.

[B]

Spoiler. We're talking about it.

[A]

Yeah, but you don't want people to stop watching.

[C]

It's far too late.

[B]

I'm fully so then. So then he doesn't make it. And then he like gets in her face. Her dead face. She's so dead at this point.

[A]

How dead?

[B]

Dead, like white.

[A]

So she really stinks?

[B]

Yeah, probably, I assume. Oh, she's not decomposing. She like, just died.

[A]

I mean, in theory, she is decomposing the minute she dies.

[B]

You're obsessed with stink a little bit. And then he says something like, like he wants her to come back. And like, just like, you know, because they were like. It was very tumultuous the entire time. And it's like, I want you to like, piss me off or whatever.

[A]

Like stink for me. No,

[B]

whatever. But that was the whole love story, but the whole wrench. And then, and then whatever. That movie kind of ends like there. Like there's not like a was.

[C]

The was.

[B]

The girl stole a dog back at the house.

[A]

She's still. She's still on her leash. And then in front of the fire,

[B]

love, his life just dies. And she was pregnant, I believe, miscarried at the same time. The guy who, who she married is like, outside. And he was actually outside when Jacob Laurie pulled up and he was like, you don't want to go in there. She's dead. He was like, yo, she's dead in there. And he's like, I'm going in.

[A]

Who? I need to know the other actors in this movie.

[B]

Like, those are the two. I know. Owen Cooper's in it for a bit. He's like the young.

[A]

The young kid.

[B]

Yeah, the young kid.

[A]

Oh, he plays like the young stinky kid.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Young, stinky Jacob Elordi.

[B]

That's the credit. Young, stinky Jacob Elordi, Owen Cooper. Congratulations.

[A]

All right. I mean, I know that you've butchered that to the point where people that are fans of the actual content are going to fucking smoke you or they're gonna love it. Like, I feel like I did it kind of like, honestly, I don't see why we can't have. Here's what we should do. We should have an episode where we just watch crazy out there movies and just try to our best of our ability to review them. Or like, not even review, summarize them. That's what you just did. I'm saying, like, we did a whole, like Patreon episode doing that or something

[B]

like that because of one of those movies.

[A]

Because, like, if I were to sit you in front of like Requiem for a Dream and just be like, what's that movie about? And just see what you say, or like Eraserhead Just like the weirder movies

[B]

that are out there.

[A]

Yeah. Not that Requiem's weird, it's a little more dark, but. Okay, so here I'm going to re respond. I'm going to just kind of repeat back to you what you told me after these messages from our sponsors.

[B]

We do have some sponsors, the first one being ZocDoc. Zoc Doc is a free website that you can go on, free app or website that you can go on and it helps you find and book high quality doctors that are in your area, take your insurance and their next available appointments. Okay. I was using ZocDoc way before, before they were even on this show. And I definitely use them now because I honestly don't even know how to do it otherwise. But zocdoc, you go onto this website or the app, you put in your insurance and you put the doctor that you want to see, if you want to see a primary care physician, you want to see a dermatologist or whatever you need. When I went to the dermatologist recently, I was using Zocdoc because I was like, how am I going to find a dermatologist? I have no idea. This is how you do it. But you put in your insurance and they show you all the people in your area that take your insurance and their next available appointments, which is usually within like two days. The longest I've waited is like two days. Honestly, the dermatologist I got same day. Okay. So I found this thing on my head. I was like, I need to go to the dermatologist. That was at like 11am I was in the doctors by 5. So it's possible to do that as well. So yeah, so that's what it helps for and it's very useful. But you can stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com basement to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's z o c doc.com basement. And yeah, thank you for sponsoring this show. And we also have Rocket Money. Rocket Money is an all in one personal finance app that is going to make you more financially sound. Okay. They're going to put money back in your pocket because they're going to find and cancel unwanted subscriptions that you may or may not have signed up for. They're going to help you budget. You can set a budget and make sure, you know, you're not going over that. Let's be more. Let's put that money back in our pocket and you can even upload a picture of your bill and if they can help you lower that, they will help you do that. It's all about putting money back in your pocket. They have the tools to help you with that. And like I said, a lot of people are signing up for things. Free trials that kick in and they don't realize or things that they've been paying for that they don't really use anymore. When you see all of your expenses in one shot in one place, you can be like, you know what? I'm going to save that. I'm save them to save that. And before you know it, you could be saving hundreds of dollars every single year from things like that. So that's what Rocket Money is for. I definitely recommend it to people to try it out. But yeah, that is, you can go get started [e-mail] basement. All right. There's a bunch of premium features as well. Those are going to help you save the most money, help you the most. Okay, so that is Rocketmoney.com to get Rocketmoney.com basement to get started. Enjoy that.

[A]

Yeah, don't tell us what to enjoy. Don't tell anyone what to enjoy. It's on them to enjoy. Why don't you bring them? Why don't you allow them the opportunity to figure out what they're going to enjoy? You know where they could do that? Patreon.com the Basementyard. Take a gander. Take a gander over at Patreon. Maybe you'll enjoy something there, maybe you won't. You'll never know if you don't try it and sign up. You can go and you can check out this. The tiers that we got on Patreon. You could do it. Do it. There's that first tier. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance on patreon.com the Basementyard. And that second tier, you got exclusive episodes every single Friday. They're fun. They're fun episodes. They're crazy. You won't do it. You won't go check it out. You should go check it out. It's fun. We love it. We're so appreciative of all of our patrons who are consistently helping us set new standards and new benchmarks for the support and the love that you guys give us. We recently crossed over 48, 000 paid patrons. Thank you guys so much. Jokes aside, we. We try to give you guys more of what you want, which, from what you tell us, is us. So you get the episodes sooner. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday. And if you've never Been a patron and you join, you get the full back catalog of everything that's there. Hundreds of hours ready for you to watch at your leisure. So go check it out. Patreon.com the basement yard. And if you want to sign up and save yourself a couple extra bucks, go do it on a web browser. If you do it through the smart apps, whether on the Google Play store, whether on the Apple App Store, whatever, they might take some extra money from you because there's. They got to pay. So if you just go do it directly on the website. The browser. Yeah, we're talking, you know, Netscape talk like it's frickin 1999. You can go. Half our audience doesn't even know what Netscape is. Just go on a web browser. Okay. What, I gotta spell it out for you? Patreon.com the Basemanyard thank you so much. We love you. We appreciate you. Back to it. I'm going to summarize the movie and you just tell me if I'm right or if I'm wrong. Margot Robbie lives with a rich family. She found. She finds a stinky little British boy.

[B]

Oh, she's not rich. She's like middle class.

[C]

That's why she's trying to level up.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Oh, by the way, a detail I forgot to mention. Dad hammered 24 7.

[A]

All the, all the drunk, all the time.

[B]

Mad Hammer.

[A]

Who plays the dad?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

A good drunk. Acting is hard to do. Yeah, so like, I can imagine. Like that would, that would be impressive.

[B]

You know, played a great drunk. Nick Nolte killed me in Warrior. Oh my God.

[A]

Yeah, he also, like, I think he might actually just be drunk.

[B]

Nick Nolte.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know, Mr. Nolte, if you're alive. Well, if you're not alive, I hope everything's all right. I don't know where I'm going at.

[C]

If, if you walked into, like your friend invited you over and you walk into their house and their partner is just on a leash, be like, like they invited you for dinner and they're just.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that would be. I, I think I would.

[B]

I mean, I would just say something, right?

[A]

You have to address it. I'd be like, what the fuck is this? Like, if it was like a. Haha. We're just joking around. Okay, but if it's like a no, like, this is seriously what I'm into. I might need to remove myself. Like, just be like, all right, I'm out. I'm not. I'm not. That's how they got the diddy people. Because the diddy people didn't say anything.

[C]

I see.

[B]

I would. I would have some questions, I think.

[A]

Oh, what's that about? You would want to know the ins and outs of their leash play.

[B]

Well, I. I also think that it's a little disrespectful if you're going to do that. If you're gonna do some kink stuff in front of company that doesn't know, I think that's kind of fucked.

[A]

So let's do one. One in the same vein, if you go over to someone's house and them and their couple, like, it's just like, oh, they. They wear a diaper. I gotta go change them. I'll be right back.

[C]

Oh, man.

[B]

Just go, like, don't tell me. Yeah, like, I personally, from what I've learned from doing opl, is that people that are in the king communities think that it's a bad thing if you're just going to, like, do stuff like that in front of people that have no idea what's going on. Like, you shouldn't do that. I mean, I mean that.

[A]

That invites the. The side sideways looks, you know, Like. Well, yeah, that's why I'd be like,

[B]

what is she doing?

[A]

Yeah, we don't need. We don't need all this. Yeah, we don't need all this on the. Like, you could do this in your own time. Like, or just don't. I don't have to come over.

[C]

Let's go upright.

[B]

Or just, like, give me a precursor here. Just be like, you know, my wife and she's a dog. And I'll be like, okay.

[A]

Is that like a. Yeah, I would, I would. I would kindly. If that were the case, I would just be like, all right, I don't need to come over. I don't. I'm okay. You can't turn off the dog for an hour and a half. That. I can come over and hang out for dinner or something.

[B]

I can hang out with the dog. With your wife?

[A]

Dog. Brother, you cannot.

[B]

Why?

[A]

You will not be able to.

[B]

Why? What am I going to do?

[A]

You will be very uncomfortable.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I'll be fine.

[C]

Yes. As long as they don't ask me to pet her or him. Petter. Yeah, Like a dog. And it depends what. What's happening at dinner. Like, if. If a food bowl comes out. That's when I be like, oh, man,

[A]

brother, the leash is out. What do you mean if a food bowl comes out? They're there. They're at the you know, they're at the park.

[B]

I mean, I'm not gonna leave. What am I. That's.

[A]

Respectfully, I don't feel comfortable with this. You guys kind of doing this on display. If it's what you do in your own time, that's fine. It's just not for me to be around.

[B]

Sure. I would. I would just have questions. It's like, all right, if you're gonna put it out here, I'm gonna ask.

[C]

Yeah, let's. Let's go.

[A]

I mean, but that's what they want. They want it to be like. Then they get back and it was just like, you left. You are a bad doggy.

[C]

Yeah, right?

[A]

And they were like, that's what they. That you're playing into their game. You're fucking helping with the kink. Because then they're gonna be like, joey thought I was a bad doggy.

[B]

Well, I didn't say that. I. I was just asking, like, oh, what's going on? Like, is this a joke or whatever? And if it's real, and they're like, oh, yeah, this is. You know, this is my wife. She likes to be a dog.

[A]

What would he do if they then full on pissed on the carpet?

[B]

If she ripped a pee?

[A]

Like, on a wee wee ped.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I would mean, what

[A]

is she naked in their pants?

[B]

She peed her pants?

[A]

Yeah. I feel like you're there, brother. Ask your questions.

[C]

Like a skirt scenario probably make more sense or.

[B]

Oh, I don't. I mean, I feel like nudity is definitely crossing a line.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's crazy.

[A]

That's why I said pants on.

[B]

But they're like. They, like.

[A]

They make an oopsie on and they make an oopsie.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I would doggy went in the house.

[B]

I would definitely just be like, yeah, this is like, very. There's a lot going on here, sir.

[C]

Like, this is inconsiderate. Guess is what you sound like, Frankie.

[A]

I would say, brother, if that makes me an inconsiderate guest, no problem.

[B]

I do think it's a little inconsiderate of the host to not give someone

[A]

a precursor of, like, if I went over to your house and then your fucking partners, they're just like, tied up, and it's just like, yeah, it's just what we do. I'd be like, why would you even ask me to come over?

[B]

Yes. It's not the time.

[A]

Like, why? Like, the. Exactly. Like.

[C]

Like.

[A]

Like, that would be like, you wanted me to see this. Weird.

[C]

It'd be Such a funny prank, too, to pull. Like, invite you guys for dinner and just one of your friends is doing that. It's like, it's a whole. It's all a bit. Would be great.

[B]

I mean, at this point, it would. If it was one of my friends, I would certainly speak up.

[A]

I. I honestly, like, it would need to be someone I know so well that, like, if they told me it was a joke, I'd be like, yeah, I know it's a joke. Because, like, if it was someone that I was, like, teetering on, like, I don't know if this could be a joke or not. That's way worse.

[B]

How would you feel if I told you that, like, I'm actually into it? Like, we do it.

[A]

Good for you. I would be so supportive of you and your king.

[C]

Who's on the leash?

[A]

Who do you think?

[C]

It's him, right?

[A]

It's him. 100. It's Dom Play.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's okay.

[A]

We. I mean, no, seriously, like, I would. I would make it a point to be, like, over the top supportive. So, like, there was no room for, like, he's judging me. I would legitimately be supportive of whatever that would be for you.

[B]

But if you came.

[A]

But if I came over and it was in the room, I would have to talk with you and just be like, it crazy.

[B]

That's my fucking life.

[A]

Talking about, like, it being the display.

[B]

Okay. Like, you'd be like, chill.

[A]

I would just be like, dude, you didn't need to.

[B]

So if I told you that, right? If I told you that, I'm like, yeah, turn into this thing, whatever. And then one time you came over and, like, it was dog time.

[A]

I mean, I would hope that you would be able to schedule dog time around your fucking visitors.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, it's not nap time for a child. You're consenting adults. You can move dog time.

[C]

Sometimes you just got a bark, man.

[B]

Yeah, sometimes it's like, it just takes over you.

[A]

It's just, you know, the bark is bigger than the bite, you know?

[B]

Yeah. The bark is in you forever.

[A]

It's. That's one of those things you can't get rid of.

[C]

Yeah. It feels like my fault. My bed.

[A]

What would you do if, like, another universe, you're going on dates with people and they're like, I'm a reformed doggy.

[B]

Reformed.

[A]

Like, I used to be into, like, Doggy King play. I don't do that anymore.

[B]

I mean, first of all, is this a first date? Yeah, this is an electric first date.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is what I'm looking for. Yeah, I, I mean, we would have tons of questions. I'd be like, yo, what are about here?

[A]

That wouldn't be like an immediate, like, all right, respectfully, I'm bowing out.

[C]

Oh, God, come on.

[A]

Personally, I'm imagining this person is on the sidewalk and stuff like that.

[B]

You go right to defecation. There's a lot, a lot more. The pup is like, you jump over stuff. You like to wear a collar.

[A]

I, I, I think it just Remember girls wear chokers. What's the difference? Yeah, I remember. I remember. I, I very much so remember Julia Stiles. Trust me, chokers were the thing. She had hundreds of those, dude. Any premiere she was.

[B]

Do you remember the black ones that were, like, kind of like lace?

[A]

It looked like it was like this. Yeah. Julia Stock, bro. Pull up any picture of Julia stiles from the mid 2000s, and I can almost guarantee she had one of those on.

[B]

I like, I liked them.

[A]

I remember they made them for, like, ankles too.

[B]

Did they? Yeah. Whenever girls wore those in, like, middle school, I was like, I kind of like this. All pictures of. Not in a single one.

[C]

I mean, there's a necklace.

[B]

Just type in choker.

[A]

I don't know if that's what we should be putting out there.

[B]

Aren't this what those called chokers?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

[C]

We don't gotta put it in. That's all right. Joshua's not.

[B]

Yeah, something like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Honestly, even when the search is specific. Still not there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I don't know.

[A]

I've seen, so I feel like I've seen so many. I'm sorry, I'm wrong. You can't get that.

[B]

You can't get the Julia Stiles choker out of your brain.

[A]

I guess so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I saw her in that one movie and I was just like, that's every last dance. Save the last dance. There was a movie she did that was called. I think it was called, like, Was it Misery?

[B]

Things I Hate about you.

[A]

No, there was another one where she, like, played like a bad kid. Like, it was.

[B]

I think it was 10 things I hate about you. No.

[A]

Heath Ledger. No, there was another one.

[B]

Fuck.

[A]

I think it was called Misery. Not to confuse it with the Kathy Bates Misery. I mean, I'm not going to ask you to look up Julia Stiles Filmography, but, like, I remember it was always on, like, RCN at the time.

[B]

No, we're past that. But. So you go on a date and someone's like, oh, I used to be into pub play. Not that they are currently. But they're.

[A]

But like, if they're do. If. If it got to the point where they're like, I had to back out of it, I'd be like, it got bad, dude.

[B]

I mean, they're just not into it anymore. Maybe the pup left. The pup ran off.

[A]

What happened? Like, I feel like if you're committing to pup play.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you're in for the whole shebang.

[B]

You think?

[A]

It's a lifelong thing, I imagine. Like, I'm sure you could grow out of it. Sure. But, like, what happened at that person's life at the end, that person's life that made them go, I'm wiping my paws with this one. I'm out.

[C]

Well, dogs age faster, so maybe, you know, just get out of it faster.

[B]

You get too big for the yard.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that maybe it was like some maybe. What if she was just indulging in what her partner at the time was into? Like, he was really into pup play. So she was like, all right, I'll pop it up.

[A]

It's just, it's. It's. It's a very strange thing to me.

[B]

I would respect that.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

If she was like, I wasn't really the OG pup.

[A]

I respect people having their thing wholeheartedly. I think, like, there's a level for it that personally, I would not be able to look past. It would just be too. It's too weird of a thing for me and weird and not a non disrespectful sense that, like, it would just be hard for me to not like, I'm an overthinker, you know, I'm an overthinker. It would be hard for me to not look pat. But look past that. Excuse me.

[B]

Does it matter if she was a cat instead of a pup?

[C]

Oh, good question.

[A]

That's a really great question. It would almost be worse if she's a cat, I think, because cats have more like licking of themselves and hairball things and litter boxes.

[C]

You say, wait, you're saying the cat's worse?

[A]

I think it's a little deeper in there, you know?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It would be a wonderful conversation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you guys talked to a former puppy on the. On opl?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And?

[B]

Oh, no, they were current.

[A]

They were barking it up.

[B]

No, it's. It's more of like there's masks. We looked them up.

[C]

Oh, yeah, we looked them up once. Yeah, I remember.

[A]

I remember the masks. Yes, I remember. I remember when we looked up those masks.

[B]

So you wear the mask.

[A]

Not cheap.

[B]

No, bro, it's Leather.

[A]

It's artisan artwork.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's tough.

[A]

Artisan crafted doggy mask.

[B]

There's a market for sure.

[A]

Good. Listen, all the power to.

[B]

I also will say, like, look, what I was going to say is, like, if she was like, I wasn't the. The OG Pup. My partner at the time was really into it, so I indulged. I'd be like, that's fire.

[C]

It's cool.

[A]

I. I hear what you're saying. Yes, sure, fine. But if they were to say, like, I bowed out, my question, hung up the pause, I would be like, why?

[B]

Why did she hang up the paw?

[A]

Why? Why? Why are you no longer.

[B]

Oh. She's like, I just wasn't that into it. Like, I was, like, into it for him. Yeah.

[C]

And then they broke up, and now you're not into it.

[B]

But like.

[A]

Like, that gets to a breaking point. Does that. Like, am I making sense by saying that?

[B]

Like, what gets to a breaking point?

[A]

If you get to the point where it's like, I'm just. I wasn't that into it. It's like, all right, something happened or almost happened to put you into that breakup.

[B]

It was like, I'm no longer with the pup guy, and I don't. I don't need the puppy. I got the mask just in case.

[C]

Just because she nibbled a little bit in the pub doesn't mean she went full pup.

[B]

I mean, maybe she went full puff.

[C]

Maybe she did.

[B]

First of all, I would respect that. I actually wouldn't respect just. Just being just one foot out of the pub. Yeah, you're gonna, puppy. You're gonna knock it up.

[A]

Yeah, Go pup. Go full pop.

[B]

Go full pup. If you're gonna. If you're gonna pop, pop.

[A]

The point that I was trying to make is I was trying to review the Withering Heights movie and summarize it. How the did we get the pup play?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

All right, here we go. From what you said, here we go. Stinky Jacob Elordi gets found by middle class fucking Margot Robbie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's raining, raining mist everywhere. Always someone is wet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then she's like. He's like, oh, you know what? Fuck this. I'm out. Because you like fucking rich guy, and you only want to be with him for status. And then he comes back, he's like, guess what? Now I'm the status.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And fudge you. So I'm going to take his fucking sister and I'm gonna make her bark like a puppy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'll show you Margot Robbie. I'm no longer that stinky little sad boy that soiled his pants all the time.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Now I'm prim and proper and probably wearing an ascot, maybe if there's not an ascot in that movie. There's lanterns.

[B]

Oh, there's ascots. Okay.

[A]

And then it's like, you know what? You stayed a piece of for too long. I'm Margot Robbie. I'm dying. I'm dead. Now I stink. And you're now rich and miserable because you didn't. You didn't decide to be a good guy,

[B]

essentially. But they all.

[A]

They.

[B]

They loved each other throughout.

[A]

Crazy. But they smelled like. They never smelled like at the same time. That's what I'm getting here is that at different points, different people had different stinks. They never matched their stink up to go full stink together. They never sent the stink. It's like he's like, oh, I'm a little kid. I smell like. And she's just like, all right, I don't. And then I smell like. But you smell better because now you use hot baths and stuff because you're rich and British now.

[C]

You're not listening. But he's actually. He's actually speaking.

[A]

Thank you. So, like, it's like, right, right. The message of this story, the moral of the story is match the stink. If love is more powerful than stink,

[B]

love is more powerful.

[A]

Yeah. Well, love overpowers. The stench of love is better than the stench of dog.

[C]

Now your point is reversed, I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You were building to the.

[A]

Well, no, they were fighting their love when. And then because of doing that, they both have different stinks.

[C]

You did have something.

[A]

I still got it.

[C]

It's like, right. Right, people. Wrong time is what he was getting at, I think.

[A]

Right stink, wrong time. No, wrong stink. Wrong time.

[C]

I tried.

[B]

It's not about to stink at all.

[C]

Tried my best.

[A]

I mean, when you got a little smelly, like dog shit. Jacob Elordi. I can't even do.

[B]

What could you possibly be writing over there?

[C]

Right stink, wrong time.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

I imagine that. Mr. Elordi, first of all, don't beat me up, because you're, like, 612 and probably could wipe the floor with me.

[B]

That would just be 7 foot.

[A]

I'm not saying you stink. Your character probably smell like dog.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Was this the interviews where Margot Robbie was essentially saying, like, oh, I. I yearned for him still or something?

[B]

Yeah. I think that's like a whole marketing thing that they do now in Hollywood where it's like, oh, if you make it seem like the. The actors are in love, then people will go see the movie.

[C]

Like, will they Will not they.

[B]

Yeah, that type of.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

I didn't love that, but I know, like, there. There were some. All other. There were some other awkward, like, inner, like, press junkets and stuff like that, too. Like, the famous one was the one last year with Pedro Pascal and Vanessa Kirby for Fantastic Four where, like, she's, like, stroking his back and, like, he's like, well, no, it's all right, guys, because I have anxiety and she's helping me.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I haven't. I, like, I don't know. Like, if that. If that isn't a marketing thing, like, that would be so weird because she's married. You know what I mean? I'm like.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

This is a weird comment. Yeah.

[A]

And I'm sure he was lurching around with someone at that time, too.

[B]

Lurching?

[A]

Lurch. Like tall?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know, lurch.

[B]

Adam's family.

[A]

Good job, dude.

[B]

I know. Snapping songs.

[A]

You crushed that. You absolutely crushed that.

[B]

Snapping.

[A]

No, the knowing that it's from the Addams Family.

[B]

Oh, yeah. There's only one lurch in the world.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Is that an actual verb?

[A]

Lurch. Lurk. But I was lurch. Lurching in reference to the fact that he's giant and jury's out on if he actually does stink.

[B]

He looks like he smells good. Not in the movie.

[A]

While he's always soaking wet, wearing old timey English clothes. There's no chance he smelled good.

[B]

I know. And he was chopping a lot of wood. When he gets angry, he chops wood. In that movie, he gets pissed and he starts chopping wood.

[C]

Okay, When's the last time you chopped wood, Frankie?

[A]

Not that long ago.

[B]

He has a fireplace.

[A]

Oh, well, no, my fireplace now is gas. But, like, at the lake, like, five years ago, I was chopping wood. If that. Maybe even sooner.

[B]

I can't. I don't even know the last time I chopped wood.

[C]

I would chop wood at my friend's Long island house. And it's just one of those friends where his dad would trick me into doing manual labor.

[B]

His dad.

[A]

My dad. That was my dad. Big time, dude. Big time.

[B]

His dad. His dad's, like, masterful at it. His dad will just ask you.

[A]

Like, when he says masterful, it's really disrespectful.

[B]

No, no, it's masterful. You don't know it's coming. And you know it's coming, but you don't know that it's right now.

[A]

Well, because you would think that he had the wherewithal to know that the kids that stayed up until 4am drinking don't want to be up at 9am to flip a dock. Whoa, brother.

[C]

Whoa, brother.

[A]

Dude, not an exaggeration either. Like one time, 30 by 30 square pressure treated wooden docks with barrels tied underneath them.

[B]

And then it's like, let's make a bunch of 11 year olds flip this.

[A]

Well, we were like 20 at the time. And then it's like the best way to flip it is to get it straight up and then walk it down. Yo, this thing weighed like 5, 000 pounds. And there's 20, 20 year olds like trying to figure it all out. It was tough, dude.

[B]

Yeah. I remember one time I was. I was staying at Espo's house or. And it was like dinner time and we were out on the lake. So we're like, all right, we're going back. And I. I was like, I'm just gonna swim back. So I swam back and like, there's like a little beach by Frank's house. So that's where I got out because it was like too far to get all the way to esports house. I was like that. As I get out, his dad's like, can you just help me? I think there's a hole in this thing in like one of the things. I'm like, yeah. Hour and a half looking for this hole. And he's like, you put water.

[A]

Water and soap and you see where it bubbles? Yeah, classic.

[B]

It was like an hour and a half. Love Frank to death, though.

[C]

Well, was there a hole?

[B]

Yeah, there's certain. Was that you? Did you hear that?

[A]

Did your balls just drop out of your pants?

[B]

Was there a hole?

[A]

Yeah, I was like. Was that. That was crazy. It was like the start of like a like techno song.

[B]

He doesn't listen to techno?

[A]

No, I don't listen to techno.

[B]

Would you go like if we were like in Berlin, would we go to like a deep house, like fucking.

[A]

Let me tell you where I. The places I don't want to be most on the planet.

[B]

Really? Yeah, just for the experience.

[A]

So I can go listen to fucking Diplo.

[B]

Not to Diplo.

[A]

Why don't you shut up and Diplo to suck these nuts, baby.

[B]

I don't even like that one.

[A]

You don't need to like it. It's there. Ant, would you kindly. Wow.

[C]

Did you start the techno thing?

[A]

Damn right.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You gotta hit him with a. Got him.

[B]

That was pretty.

[A]

Got him so good, baby. Got him so good.

[B]

Dip low and suck these balls.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's not bad.

[C]

That's not bad.

[A]

I think that's a pretty good one. And. And I, like, was calm during it. I didn't. I didn't, like, stumble my way through

[B]

it as I was calm during it,

[A]

as I have done so many other times. Yeah, well, did I get you with that one? Were you, like. Did you see it coming?

[C]

No, there was. It was very fast.

[A]

I'm so.

[C]

He. He fired off because he got a little excited about the techno thing, and then it just. It now it all.

[A]

Yeah, no, I cannot imagine wanting to go to, like, an electronica.

[C]

Are we going or are we. Where he's going, like, are we in the cool area or are we just going? I'm not going. Oh, well.

[A]

Yeah, he's not going. He's not going.

[C]

I'm saying, like, are we, like, are we just going and being in the pit? I don't want to do that.

[A]

I want. I want also, I don't want to, like, hear a dj. He's going like, fucking Joey. Well, come on.

[B]

They're German.

[A]

Oh, so.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

It's like. No,

[B]

the same voice.

[A]

Very, very Euro jazz electronic. No, I. I did it again. I can't find my German.

[C]

We'll start with a different German, then go.

[B]

I can't find my.

[A]

So, like, you want me to. Bleeding floating. Okay, got electronica then. Bring it over now. Fucking coach electronica. No, it wasn't working there. Sorry.

[B]

I can't find my German.

[A]

You would go, yeah, dude.

[B]

I mean, I'm there. Might as well. I don't know how, like, you know,

[A]

that's not, like the lights and the lights and the, like, alone would give me a heart attack.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It would be intense.

[A]

That would be a lot. There'd be a lot of mist there too. Maybe stinky Jacob Elordi is also there. Get to the edge.

[B]

I'd wear, like, a fishnet shirt.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you're trying to introduce fishnets as a normal part of your. Your wardrobe. He is, right. He is.

[B]

How am I doing?

[A]

And it's fair because you do have to build for it, which is. How do I.

[B]

How am I doing that?

[A]

Well, you're. You're. You're experimenting with fishnets. You want to mention that?

[C]

Well, you wore.

[A]

You wore one to the I Heart Podcast Awards.

[B]

That's right. It wasn't really fishnet.

[A]

I mean, brother adjacent. It was adjacent. It was closer to fishnet than anything that either of us. Anything that I've ever worn in my entire life.

[C]

You couldn't give your jacket away, you know.

[B]

Yeah, it was get to these ads.

[A]

We'll talk about your fish dad obsession after this.

[B]

I don't have an obsession. Everything's fine. We do have some more sponsors, this one being Squarespace. Squarespace is the platform where you can build your website. If you want a professional looking website, you can build those with Squarespace, all right? They have a bunch of templates that make it very easy to choose from. You pick one, you swap out the photos and the text and you can have a professional looking website in a short amount of time. I've used other platforms before. Takes forever. Very annoying. Squarespace, it's very easy. I've literally done it in a day to create a landing page and we've used it a bunch here. So I would suggest that to anyone if you make content or if you have an E commerce business or anything like that that you're going to want to use Squarespace, they also have a bunch of tools that are going to help you figure out where your traffic's coming from, how much traffic your site is getting, how you can improve that, those types of things. So it's, it's helpful. It's a one stop shop. So you can head to squarespace.com basement to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement again, that is squarespace.com basement to save 10 off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. We also have a new sponsor here, Nurtrium, which is skin literacy for everyone. Okay, so it's a clinically effective skin care for everyone, everywhere, every day. All right. As I'm getting into my older ages here, skincare has become a more important part of my life. As a kid, never used it, never put moisturizer on my body at all. So I was probably all like dry and cracky and whatnot. But now you need skin care and you want to make sure that you're putting nice stuff on your body. Nurtrium has that their formulas are skin friendly with pH balance ingredients that are gentle and effective enough to be daily use head to toe. And I'm head to toe in this. All right, I'm putting, I'm putting the moisturizers in the skin care all over the skin, the biggest organ of the body as they say. But yeah, so it's affordable luxury you can use every single day. You can even sign up and earn points and redeem awards for their consistency club is what it's called. And it's really good. I've used it before. Frank also just said, oh, yeah.

[A]

Got a big, big, big use at our house.

[B]

Got a big use going on.

[A]

It's big in our house. Absolutely.

[B]

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[A]

All right. All right.

[B]

That's for your skin.

[A]

Back to Joey's fishnet. He's now. Is it getting to the point? Because this is the second time he's brought it up. Well, you wore it the first time and now you're bringing up, like, where a fishnet. When do we label him Fishnet Joe?

[C]

It was more just a lapse of fishnet judgment. I feel for a second.

[A]

I don't think. By the way, the most frustrating part of this is you pulled it off and you look good. If you look bad, I wouldn't be making fun of you for it. Actually, I would, but just not as intensely. Okay, so, like, if you're trying to just soft launch. If you're trying to soft launch fishnets, that's fine. I support you. Just let us know so we don't make fun of you and make you feel bad about what you're wearing.

[B]

I don't believe that about you.

[A]

What. What does that mean?

[B]

I'm wearing blue.

[A]

I said you looked like Cookie Monster twice. Sue me. I made an observation twice.

[B]

With. With intent. With mal intent.

[A]

The intent was to show you that I know Cookie Monster color.

[B]

I don't think that you can hear yourself speak sometimes, buddy.

[A]

Damn right. I don't need to listen to myself speak.

[B]

You love it. No, I don't need to listen.

[A]

You do.

[B]

You, you.

[A]

If you're trying to make fishnets work, I just want you to know you look good when you wore them, and I support it.

[B]

I don't consider that fishnet. It's porous a bit, but it's not like fishnets. Like, you could see through it. It's like Jeff Hardy.

[A]

That was more. I guess he's right, but fishnets are more.

[B]

Because I was wearing a fishnet shirt, you'd see my nipples, brother.

[A]

We. We did not see your nipples. Saw my nipples.

[C]

It was. There was nipples about, like, you know, nipple there.

[B]

What was that? Oh.

[A]

Oh, he knows where your nipples are.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Forget him.

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

Did we know someone who was Like, I'm really good at this. I can tell you where your nipples are. Some girl.

[C]

Yeah, it's like a.

[B]

Wait, what?

[C]

I said an anime move on you, but that's how you do it. Center chest.

[A]

Boop.

[C]

Nipples right there.

[A]

Is that true? Wait, so center chest?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Nipple. No.

[C]

Well, no, no, I mean, you're not really.

[A]

You could see where Ryan is fucking cockeyed.

[C]

That's. Your shirt's almost fishnet like this.

[A]

Oh, it's a white T shirt like this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I would bend my hand. Yeah.

[C]

And then should be right there.

[B]

That is my nipple. No.

[A]

Also no.

[C]

I don't know how center chest you are, but.

[A]

Brother, I know my chest.

[B]

He is center chest.

[C]

Yeah, you drop it.

[B]

I think I am.

[A]

Come here. Try it. All right, because I'm doing it. Let's see and be on it. And don't actually pinch my nipple, please. Cuz I fucking hate my nipples.

[B]

So get in the center of that thing.

[A]

Here's my center chest. That's not my center chest. Brother.

[C]

Brother. It's okay. You drop nipple.

[A]

Oh, he. He got you that one. He got. The other one is lazy eye. It's looking around. That's kind of a crazy. Why do you know that this kid loves nipples?

[B]

Why do you know that this, like this thing.

[C]

Sometimes you just know things.

[A]

Were you breastfed?

[C]

I think so.

[A]

That's how he knows. He's like, mom, just wait there. Yeah, too much. Sorry.

[B]

That's just one of those things that,

[C]

you know, gave everyone an image of that

[A]

I was breastfed. You were breastfed too, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong with that? Now you got someone against breastfed people.

[B]

I honestly don't know if I was, I assume, last child.

[C]

I feel like usually maybe not breastfed.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I was lucky I was fed at all.

[C]

Right.

[A]

At that point, your mom's gonna hear that. She's gonna be like, joey, tell the people that I fed you appropriately.

[B]

No, my mom fed us.

[A]

You were very. You were. You. You were nourished.

[B]

Yeah, you were.

[A]

I got you. Liz. Don't worry. I'm not gonna allow him to drag your name on a fucking podcast.

[B]

How did we get there?

[A]

We were talking about your fishnet obsession.

[B]

Oh, my nipples.

[A]

Fishnet session.

[B]

Right. My nipples were not out. That's the thing.

[A]

They were like there. You know, like when a room is completely dark, your eyes adjust to the light and you can see a little. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

You could probably see like there is some sort of shadow. If I squint and that's where his nipple is. But it's not like, it's like, out.

[A]

I need to see. I don't think pictures will do it justice. I need to see the shirt that you had purchased.

[C]

Easiest solution will just go win another award and he'll just win the. He'll just wear it.

[B]

I could wear it on the show.

[A]

Wear it on the show. I mean. Oh, God. As if you need to look better.

[B]

I'm gonna get. Wear a jacket.

[A]

Yeah, that was someone playing dice dropping.

[B]

Yeah. That scared me. There was a sound that sounded like

[A]

a little dumbbells and then a little girl like.

[B]

Yeah, that's why I don't like it.

[A]

Yeah, that is scary.

[B]

Squeaking and hearing like, a little girl laugh or something Sometimes.

[C]

Sometimes when you both leave and I'm here, it could get really dark in here, bro.

[B]

It gets mad dark.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Well, because. Yeah, we black everything out.

[A]

Oh, yeah, bro.

[B]

At night when I have left this place and shut all the lights, I'm like, I legitimately can't see a thing.

[C]

I call the elevator first and get that light and then I talk the lights and go in.

[B]

Yes. I get scared.

[A]

Were you the kid that, like, ran up the stairs in the basement?

[C]

Like, I still have to mentally make it a point to be like, I'm a grown. I'm grown.

[A]

Yeah. Like, there's nothing down here. This is my house.

[C]

But then one time something did fall over and that scared me.

[B]

Do you still go up the stairs on your, like, hands sometimes? Yeah, No, I don't have access to that many stairs.

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Like, I live in an apartment with no stairs. You don't do it.

[A]

You know, I, I, I, I'm not like, I used to do it and be like, I'm Pikachu.

[B]

But like.

[A]

Yeah, but like, I, I haven't done that. I can't even tell you last time I did that.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

That's the sad part, dude.

[B]

Speaking of sad, I saw a tick tock recently, and it really sent me down a bad path. And it was like, it was so sweet. It really. I'm so sensitive these days for some reason. But it was a guy who had a lovely voice and he was singing Frank Sinatra My way to a bunch of old ladies in a retirement home.

[A]

Oh, I saw that. And there was that one woman that

[B]

was just like, she was like, mouthing the lyrics. Yeah, this is breaking my heart.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because he, he's going like. And now the end is near.

[A]

Well, yeah, I mean, that's kind of up to sing that to a bunch of old people.

[B]

That's what I mean. Well, hey, guess what?

[A]

You're gonna die soon.

[B]

So I face the final curtain, and she's, like, singing along. I'm like, oh, my God, she knows she's gonna die soon. And, like, that's so sad. The comments, though, he was like, it's because people were saying that.

[A]

And the kid wrote this was a request.

[B]

Someone requested it.

[A]

Someone requested, like, yeah, because he's going

[B]

in there and firing off songs about being close to the end is crazy. But, yeah, it just made me cry. And then I saw a bunch of sad videos, bro.

[A]

I saw one, like, two days ago that was like. And it was like a news story. Someone did. It was like an old man had lost his wife, and he was just, like, grumpy and miserable and pissed. And then he was in a grocery store, and, like, a little girl, like, asked him for a hug, and he was like, I had never. I had. I literally was living to, like, living to die, waiting to die. And then this little girl just asked me for a hug, and, like, they, like, bonded and, like, would, like, spend time together and stuff like that.

[B]

Don't even. I have chills. Oh, he's going. I literally have chills. Also, I saw this other thing, and this. I. I was. I was a mess, bro. I was a mess watching this. I'm not even gonna pull the video because I'm gonna. I'm legitimately gonna cry. I mean, that one I won't talk about. I'll talk about the other. You know what? We're gonna talk about both.

[A]

Just do it, baby.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

This is the tail end of the.

[B]

There's a. There's a. A. A video that. This one got me going. I'll just read it. But because it's just a video of, like, a bunch of kids that are. They look like they're in their early 20s, okay? Hugging this woman. And it says, two years ago on Mother's Day, we said goodbye to my brother after his battle with cancer. Today, for the second year in a row, his friend surprised my mom for Mother's Day. A beautiful reminder that love lives on through the people he touched. Right? Right. So I see this video, and it's like, all the kids are there, and they're hugging the mom, and then they're in her, like, driveway, and they're just playing basketball. The next video is some guy talking about that video, and then, like, he adds in that, oh, it's such a sweet thing, because her mom. Because the mom Gets to watch the kids through the window, playing in the driveway. Playing in the driveway. And it reminds her of, like, her son. And.

[A]

And I'm like, that's beautiful. That is beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, every now, like I said, every, like, month and a half, my. My algorithm just becomes like, we're gonna make you cry and hard and fat, dude. Like, there was one where it was like. And I've seen this sentiment, like, other people have posted it as well. And it's just like, like, you know, like the. The. The music for. Oh, you've never seen Inside Out. The fact that you have not watched Inside out, bro, that first movie is going to ruin you.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

It's going to ruin you. But it's like the. The music from Inside out, and it's like kids playing. And it's like, when I'm 80, this will be what I dream about. And it's like their kids and stuff like that. And, yeah, you know, it's crazy. And you'll get there. When you have kids, you can't have kids. And, like, just be happy about having kids. The Internet needs to consistently remind you of, like, they're not gonna be this young forever. Cherish it now. They're only good. No, you're gonna remember this and miss it one day. And it's like, I fucking know that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Shut up, asshole.

[B]

I saw this other video.

[A]

That's it. That's all I got.

[B]

And it was. It was. It was so nice, but it just, like, enraged me afterwards too. It was this little girl, and she's at Disney or whatever, and it says, watch my daughter, who has recently started to experience body image. She's fucking eight, by the way. Watch my daughter, who has recently started to experience body image issues and questioning if she's pretty, see herself as a Disney princess. And apparently they do like a.

[A]

It's like a. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then they turn her around and she lights up, and I'm very happy. And I'm like, this is so cute. And then I remember the beginning of that, and I'm like, who do we kill?

[A]

Yeah, big time.

[B]

Who's causing the body image issues?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who needs to get run over by a monster truck? What's going on?

[A]

That'd be a good way to get them. Yeah, I am fully those Disney videos. Get me. Because there was one day Ruby was like, can I see videos of Disney princesses? And I was like, sure, yeah, no problem. I like, went on TikTok. I typed like, Disney princess. And it's, you know, little Kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Meeting Disney princesses.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And she is, like, enamored. Because in her head, she's like, they're in movies and they're in real life, and then they're there. And, like, I can maybe one day. And I'm hysterically crying. Yeah. And she's. And all she does is she looks at me and she's like, are you crying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, yeah, I am, dad.

[B]

That crying.

[A]

Big deal. I was talking to my dad because my dad went a couple years ago with my. My nephews, my sister and them, and he said, like, seeing the kids make that connection in real life, like, it melts any of the toughest people in the world.

[B]

No, like, I. I just.

[A]

The toughest people in the world.

[B]

Some of those videos are so, you know, there's a rule that, like, they

[A]

can't break the hug first.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Love that, bro.

[A]

Listen, Disney, we could be critical of. Of so many.

[B]

Monopoly.

[A]

We can be very critical of so many things. The immersion that they want, the. The experience they want to create. I haven't experienced it yet, but from what I understand, the experience they want to create for children going to the parks and stuff like that, you have to tip a cap to that. Yes. Maybe it's because they wanted to come back and spend all their money. Whatever. But it does mean something.

[B]

You know what I mean? It's unbelievable, dude, the videos. There's like, compilations of children meeting, like, Disney characters. And I'm like, oh, my God, dude, I'm not. Never gonna stop crying.

[A]

Never gonna stop. Rob Zombie. Never gonna stop back. Never gonna stop.

[B]

A name I haven't even thought about.

[A]

Dragula. I. I remember Dragula, but I never. Bro, I was thinking of Never gonna stop because it was Edges. Oh, my Durango. Only 95.

[B]

Take me to their own. Dude, bro, you don't know Rob Zombie, do you?

[A]

I know you don't know just because of the horror movie. Yeah, he made some movies.

[B]

Why does he. Why do I know Dragula? Video game or something.

[A]

Like, it probably was. It probably was.

[B]

Dragula is such a good song.

[A]

I know so many songs I never otherwise would have known because of video games, you know? So Dragula's probably there.

[B]

Madden, another one.

[A]

Matt there was scared. Well, no, that was a banger that I knew, period. But, like, I remember, like, Tony hawk, Pro Skater 3, had a bunch of, like, those gold finger. Which one was that?

[B]

Oh, what's the song? What's the Goldfinger song? You'll. You'll remember it because it's from that. The Tony Hoax. Tony Hoax Goldfinger song.

[A]

If it's the one I'm thinking of. I just didn't know the name.

[B]

It's probably that one.

[A]

It's the one that I'm thinking of now.

[B]

Here I am doing everything I can.

[A]

Oh, no, that's another one. That was in Tony, the one that I'm thinking of. It's just, like, note seven. I think it's the cky, like, song where they had it in their videos where it's just, like. You definitely know it. What's cky CKY was the, like, group of, like, skaters, like Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Dico, and all them that, like, made those videos before. They were like, jackass.

[B]

Damn. No, I don't know that one. But, yeah, the Goldfinger song.

[A]

I mean, the famous ones are like, all of MVP baseball 2005.

[B]

Tessie.

[A]

I got a funny little feeling. I listened to that album recently, and someone was like. Becca was just like, what the fuck are you listening to? And I was just like. Because it was on opening day. The day, like a baseball opening day. And I was just like, I'm in the mood. I'm cooking hot dogs. I'm throwing on fucking MVP bravery, you know?

[B]

MVP baseball soundtrack. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's so good.

[B]

Well, here's that 2004.

[A]

2005.

[B]

5.

[A]

Yeah, it was the year after. Because the year before is when the Red Sox won.

[B]

My God, though.

[A]

There you go. Let's go listen to some Tony Hawk pro skater.

[B]

There's probably something.

[A]

You remember that one? You don't know what the hell we're talking about. Go play your Mario Kart, dweeb.

[C]

I have to.

[B]

You have to.

[A]

Oh, the cardathons coming up, right?

[C]

Yes, it is.

[B]

Oh, you got to practice.

[C]

I do. Well, no, but you guys are showing up, right?

[A]

You let me know when and where, baby.

[B]

I'll pull up. Let him know where. Yeah, he knows where it's.

[C]

Yeah, everyone knows.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yes, that's fair. It's at your house. Which. What's the address? One more.

[B]

Also, what's gonna happen if I just stomp out your controller?

[C]

We'll have. We'll have a spare just in case things get a little.

[A]

Yeah, but I might just show up just to ruin the stream. Oh.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

He's gonna kick over your whole streaming setup.

[C]

That would do it that way.

[A]

No, I'll play the voice notes I have of you saying all those Hispanic slurs at me.

[B]

Now you're the victim of this. Yeah, I'm glad it's moved on from me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I'm just. I'm just the blue guy.

[A]

Anything? Any. Any. Anything? Yeah, I'm not

[B]

anything. Any anything.

[A]

Gotta chill.

[B]

Well, I guess that's it for this episode. Thank you guys so much for watching and making this far. Frank. Where can they.

[A]

Frank Alvarez everywhere. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com the basemanyard. And in fact, you can find the basement yard all over social media.

[C]

And find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram.

[B]

And you guys can follow me at Joe Sanigato and go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.