#558 - FRANK FIRES JOE!! + New Tour Dates

Summary

The Basement Yard #558 – FRANK FIRES JOE!! + New Tour Dates

Release Date: June 8, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez
Guest: Ant Prisco
Studio: Santagato Studios
Episode Theme: Announcing the next Basement Yard live tour, the evolving experience of fan culture and celebrations, and an extended comedic role-play in which Frank “fires” Joe.

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Overview

In this episode, lifelong friends Joe Santagato and Frank Alvarez deliver a classic, high-energy Basement Yard experience with their signature blend of banter, wild hypotheticals, and personal stories. This week’s main attractions are the official announcement of their new tour dates for 2026–2027, a comedic deep-dive into fan behavior at sporting events, and a hilarious improv segment where Frank plays a boss firing Joe for “stealing” hot dogs. The chemistry is as chaotic as ever, with Ant Prisco on hand as both instigator and foil.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrations, Fan Rituals, and "Tarps Off" (00:30–16:00)

• Frank opens by joking about flashing his chest, sparking a run of banter about "Girls Gone Wild," celebrations, and how sports fans pop their tops (“tarps off”) at baseball games.
• The crew debates the legitimacy of celebration rituals in sports:
  • Frank: Dislikes excessive celebrations if a team’s fate is decided by another team (“If you win under those pretenses, I’m like, you don’t deserve to pop champagne for that.” – [02:25])
  • Joe: Pushes back, emphasizing the grind of a long season.
  • They discuss over-the-top fan behaviors like body painting and going shirtless at games—and whether they'd participate.
  • Frank: “I’m seriously not confident enough to allow that to happen. The price would need to be, like… a plus confidence rate." (15:00)

Quotes & Highlights

• Frank, on "tarps off": “It's a rally thing… they’re just taking their shirts off. Mascots are doing it now!” ([04:16])
• On sex dice & board games: Quick detour into the oddities of grown-up party games and dice, leading to an extended riff about growing up with fuzzy handcuffs and switchblades.
• Ant, dry as always: “You didn’t get any. It tastes like Frankie.” ([46:07])

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2. Tour Announcement: Dates, Locations, Presale Details (17:09–33:44)

• The centerpiece of the episode is the announcement of the new Basement Yard live shows, with a long-awaited list of tour dates running from September 2026 through March 2027.
• Presale details: Starts Wednesday, June 17th at 12pm ET; presale code is "basement" at thebasementyard.com.
• Frank and Joe emphasize these will be brand new shows with interactive elements and audience participation.

Quotes & Highlights

• Frank, hyping the tour: “It's going to be a lot more fun. Oh, it's gonna be interactive. We're gonna get some people on stage… We're gonna interact with you guys in the crowd.” ([22:14])
• Joe, on gratitude: “We really appreciate being able to do this… There just has been a lot of growth and we're having a lot of discussions internally about like, we really want to see how far we can push this…” ([32:27])
• Timestamps for Announcements:
  • Tour Presale/Instructions: [17:09–20:18]
  • Full Date/City Rundown: [21:15–29:47] & [43:41–43:53]
  • Tour Philosophy/New Show Promise: [30:06–33:44]

Tour Cities & Dates (2026–27):

• Sep 10: Durham, NC
• Sep 12: Charlotte, NC
• Sep 24: Minneapolis, MN
• Sep 26: Indianapolis, IN
• Oct 2: Charleston, SC
• Oct 3: Atlanta, GA
• Oct 16: Bethlehem, PA
• Nov 7: Buffalo, NY
• Dec 5: Baltimore, MD
• Dec 10: Austin, TX
• Dec 11: Dallas, TX
• Dec 13: Houston, TX
• Jan 15 (2027): Newark, NJ
• Feb 5: Red Bank, NJ
• Feb 23–24: Vancouver, BC
• Feb 26: Los Angeles, CA
• Mar 12: Chicago, IL

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3. Absurd Improv: Frank Fires Joe Over Hot Dogs (52:05–59:13)

• In a signature Basement Yard sketch, Frank role-plays a sports venue boss firing Joe for eating three hot dogs he was meant to sell to customers.
• Joe defends himself (“My job requires me to eat!”) while Frank insists it’s theft and fires him in escalating dramatic fashion.
• The gag spirals into commentary on company culture, legal threats, and whether Joe is a martyr for the “common man.”
• Frank: “If you were honest… now it’s no longer about the theft, it’s about the character.” ([57:53])
• Joe: “I work at this ballpark—this big bowl of shit... I ate one hot dog and now you in a senior position are not only firing me but stepping on my head on the way out the door.” ([57:28])

Memorable Quotes

• Frank: “And guess what? We’re going to murder you in front of your coworkers.” ([53:49])
• Joe: “If you could smell his breath from there, big trouble.” ([49:14])
• Frank: “You’ll die before me, ‘cause you ate three hot dogs in a ten minute span.” ([55:18])
• Meta conclusion: “Christopher Nolan. Stanley Kubrick. Joe and Frank from the basement.” ([59:43])

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4. Side Tangents & Running Jokes

Novelty Cologne Taste Test ([41:28–47:05])

• The trio samples “hot dog cologne” (Eau de Wiener).
• Frank, disappointed: “It smells more like the burnt pretzels at the dog stand. But old.” ([45:10])
• The bit evolves into a debate over what it actually smells like (not hot dogs, more “city street pretzel") and if it’s an effective gag gift.

Dad Legs, Cruises, and Hotel/Travel Stories ([64:07–79:56])

• Ant relates that his dad once won a “Mr. Sexy Legs” contest on a cruise; the hosts launch into a hyper-serious comparison of “dad legs” and what makes a leg sexy.
• Joe and Frank riff on cruise life, all-inclusive policies, and whether they’d ever want to go; riff on hotel room snacks, Airbnbs, and questionable room setups.
• The group discusses edible “Zen gardens” at hotels—a graham-cracker-and-cream cheese dessert that fooled Joe.

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5. Meta Jokes & Showmanship

• Regular pauses to detail the inner workings of presale codes and ticket access for confused fans.
• Ongoing references to past episodes and running callbacks to notorious Basement Yard bits (celebrations, sexual innuendo, legal technicalities).
• Repeat reminders: “It’s not going to be the same show—brand new, more interactive, more fun!”

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-------------------| | 02:25 | “If you win under those pretenses, I’m like, you don’t deserve to pop champagne for that.” | Frank Alvarez | | 15:00 | "The price would need to be, like, a plus confidence rate. You know what I mean?" | Frank Alvarez | | 22:14 | "It's gonna be a lot more fun...We're gonna interact with you guys in the crowd." | Frank Alvarez | | 32:27 | “We really appreciate being able to do this… There just has been a lot of growth…” | Joe Santagato | | 45:10 | “It smells more like...burnt pretzels...but old.” | Frank Alvarez | | 53:49 | “And guess what? We're going to murder you in front of your coworkers.” | Frank Alvarez | | 57:28 | "I work at this ballpark—this big bowl of shit...I ate one hot dog and now you...fire me" | Joe Santagato | | 59:43 | "Christopher Nolan. Stanley Kubrick. Joe and Frank from the basement." | Frank Alvarez |

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Fan/Celebration Discussion: 00:30–16:00
• Tour Announcement & Presale Instructions: 17:09–29:47
• Absurd Improv: Frank Fires Joe: 52:05–59:13
• Sampled Hot Dog Cologne: 41:28–47:12
• Dad Legs & Cruise Stories: 64:07–77:07

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Energy, Tone, & Originality

• The episode is loose, irreverent, and full of quick detours—as expected from the Basement Yard.
• Frank and Joe maintain a “buddies roasting each other” vibe throughout, only cranking it up further in improv bits.
• Regular self-awareness about their own inside jokes, with calls-to-action aimed at die-hard fans ("get tickets fast!").
• Tone alternates between mock serious (the “firing”) and playful absurdism (debates over cologne bottle design, sexy legs, edible hotel sand gardens).

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Summary for New Listeners

If you’ve never listened to The Basement Yard, this episode is a perfect encapsulation: ridiculous, honest, and occasionally a little gross. Joe and Frank move seamlessly from half-sincere debates about sports culture, to giving their fans what they want—a major tour announcement, plus total nonsense. Expect a firehose of inside jokes, roleplay, heartfelt gratitude, and jokes about bodily functions.

Tip: If you want tickets, hit up thebasementyard.com on June 17th at noon ET with code "basement"—they weren’t lying about previous shows selling out quickly.

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Transcript

[Joe Santagato]

Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things

[Frank Alvarez]

don't go according to plan.

[Joe Santagato]

It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash, no ID, prescription or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's freedom to be use as directed.

[Frank Alvarez]

Welcome back to the basement.

[Joe Santagato]

Welcome back to the basement yard. You're flashing.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was flashing my titties.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. You want to flash your tits?

[Ant Prisco]

That'd be cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

You want to flash your fucking tits?

[Joe Santagato]

Why are you getting mad at me?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. That's a good question. That is a good question. You remember those?

[Joe Santagato]

Fuck.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, well, welcome back, basement. Remember those? Like. Oh, I don't know if I can bring it up, actually, because I think they got in trouble. Remember those commercials, like, Girls Gone Wild years ago?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, we talked about this.

[Frank Alvarez]

They got in trouble, right?

[Joe Santagato]

The dudes who. Yeah, of course.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, because I think, like, they had someone underage in one of their videos.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah. Well, I just thought they got trouble because it's like. It's kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, yeah, Douchebags. They're pieces of shit.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, it's Mardi Gras.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. It's like, welcome Girls Gone Wild. Like, you're a loser, dude. You've never seen. That's the act.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, you've seen a boob. Exactly. But they're great.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm never gonna argue against that. Yeah, but, like, you know. You know how, like, they say, like, you know when it. When. When an athlete wins a championship and they're just like, act like you've been here before?

[Joe Santagato]

Well, it's the championship. If you're gonna win a regular season, you're gonna pop champagne, then you gotta act like you've been there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I do. Honestly, like, I do sometimes feel away about that. I know that there's so much hard work that goes into, like, winning the division or winning the conference or something like that.

[Joe Santagato]

You don't like champagne? I meant, like, champagne at celebrations.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I am the New York Yankees, okay. Not a player. If I'm, like, in the front office and they, like, win because they, like, got in because another team lost, not because, like, they, like, won the division. You know what I mean? Like, remember a couple of years ago where, like, I think it was last year the Mets lost because the Reds won a game like, across the fucking country or something like that. If you win under those pretenses, I'm like, you don't deserve to pop champagne for that.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, you play the whole year. They play 180 games.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but if your hand, like, your fate is in the hands of another team's success or failure, for me, that is like.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, that's always the case, though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not necessarily.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, you could win 80 games, and in that last game.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that is the exact situation where I'm saying, I don't know if that is pop champagne worthy.

[Joe Santagato]

I. I mean, I understand what you're saying. If it's like, you, like, if you win the first round of the playoffs, popping champagne is probably a little crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not even saying the first round of the playoffs. I honestly almost. I believe. I think it's fine. The deeper you get into the playoffs, especially the first round, I think it's

[Joe Santagato]

fine if you win the thing, the whole thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, like, you don't think, like, if you win the championship, like, the division series, that, like, popping champagne is, like, cool.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. I don't know. Like, it can't mirror. Like, it can't mirror the finals or the world Series. You know what I'm saying? Like, if it looks the same, then what. Why we do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great point. Honestly, you're more now on my side.

[Joe Santagato]

Well. Well, yeah, I'm like. I'm thinking, like, if you're gonna celebrate, how the fuck are we talking about this? Why are we being sub? I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cause I was showing you my tits.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh.

[Joe Santagato]

And when does that come into the celebration?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, have you seen the, like, the thing that people are doing at baseball games now? The tarps off?

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

You haven't seen tarps off?

[Joe Santagato]

No. I mean, I. I know what tarps off is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, two and two together, baby. Just put them together.

[Joe Santagato]

Tarp get off of me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it because it's really hot out?

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, I don't know. The. The reason they started doing it, but, like, ant. Pull up a.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait. People are dumping their boobs out at baseball games.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think it's tits. It's like, may the male fans.

[Joe Santagato]

Male nipple.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are going to games, and, like, it's. Maybe it's a rally thing.

[Joe Santagato]

They're popping top.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're just taking their shirts off to the point where, like, mascots are doing it now.

[Joe Santagato]

Mascots got their tits out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Like, I saw one for the White Sox that, like. The White Sox I forgot what their mascot is, but it's taken its tarps off.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

And, like, mascot tits are out.

[Joe Santagato]

It's got anything good under there.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's, like, just hair. It's, like, fuzzy, like Elmo. You know what I mean? Like, it's nothing to.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I'm not against that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're not against Elmo's tits?

[Joe Santagato]

No, I meant, like, furry. Well, not like fur. Not like a fur.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not back up.

[Joe Santagato]

Not like fuzzy, but, like. You know what I'm saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

Do they have, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you ever have a pair of fuzzy handcuffs growing up? That's such a Frankie thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Shut the up. You definitely did. I don't think so. I don't think around in a string

[Joe Santagato]

backpack with your ax body spray. Say it.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I. I remember. I. Back up. Okay. I definitely had the string backpack with, like, things in it that I guarded with my life. Axe body spray was definitely in there.

[Joe Santagato]

Obviously. A Swiss army knife.

[Frank Alvarez]

A Swiss army knife. It wasn't a switch. It was just a switchblade knife. Like, switchblade. Like, I was fucking like, yeah, who are you, a greaser? It was just like, one of those, like, knives that, like, you go like this, and it just, like, opens up.

[Joe Santagato]

I believe that's called a switchblade.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it? No, because switchblade is, like, spring loaded, which.

[Joe Santagato]

Those are illegal because it's spring loaded.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. But I don't think I ever had. I. Maybe I have.

[Joe Santagato]

And I don't remember fuzzy handcuffs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember I was once gifted, like, gummy handcuffs, and I was like, the.

[Joe Santagato]

These are gonna get eaten.

[Frank Alvarez]

So antithetical to what they're supposed to be. Yeah, like, you think, I can't break out of gummies?

[Joe Santagato]

You're gonna eat these things? But also, I've gotten fuzzy handcuffs. I don't know if I've used them. Maybe as like a. As like a. You know, because you get them as a gift.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember we had a.

[Joe Santagato]

Remember the dice? You get dice.

[Frank Alvarez]

The dice are like, yeah. Suck nipple. Yeah, yeah. Rub neck, pinch, inner thigh, sex.

[Joe Santagato]

Dice are the dumbest things on the planet. It's like, they have a couple of dice. The first one says, like, suck, lick, tickle, rub or whatever. And then the next one's like, neck, knees, thighs. But it's never like the.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's never like, the things that you want to suck. Suck, sip, nipple tuck, tug.

[Joe Santagato]

Exactly.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, it's none of the things

[Joe Santagato]

you want to nibble on.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's always like, rub knee.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm like, what are we doing here?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I Think the idea is, like, it's supposed to, like, walk you to the front door of the party. It's like, oh, four. It grabs your hand, and it's just like, here's the front door. Walk on in, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

If you're a person out there and you and your significant other are getting in the heat of the moment because Dice.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't. But like Dice, you know? Hold on. Back up. I am going to play in Yahtzee. First of all, fuck Yahtzee. Second of all, I love Yahtzee.

[Joe Santagato]

What the hell are you talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

You don't like Yahtzee? Do me a favor. You need me to change your diaper, you geriatric old bastard? You love Yahtzee. What is also your next favorite game? Parcheesi. Fuck you, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

You love, like, Trouble or Risk?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who doesn't love Trouble? And I've never played Trouble Trouble. There's no trouble. There is trouble when you get into trouble because it's like, oops, you're going back. That's every game. Trouble and Sorry are basically the same thing, but one of them has a super cool, poppy, dicey thing in the middle. Don't talk shit on Trouble. I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't hate Trouble.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hear me out. Because how. Board games are all, like, rebranding and stuff. There's, like, 40 different versions of Uno out there. I know if it's like Trouble, but it's with sex Dice. Worse. Now that I'm saying it. It sucks. You're gonna pop this thing. It's gonna be like, suck teeth. Suck teeth. Go four spaces. Yeah, you know, but what was I gonna say? Yeah, Yahtzee sucks. I. I think that.

[Joe Santagato]

Have you ever hit a Yahtzee? Like, a real Yahtzee?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I haven't played Yahtzee or Boggle in not even a joke. 25 years. Is Boggle. The words boggle is the one where it's just like, let's get a word in this cup.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

[Frank Alvarez]

So stupid.

[Joe Santagato]

Yacht's cool, though, because, yo, five dice landing on one thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

The. The idea of, like, rattling together five dice. Sounds cool. I wish I could do it in my mouth, though.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, the idea of, like, you want to bounce around five dice in your mouth. Kind of Time to grow up, Peter Pan. What the hell is that? Fantasy?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Yeah. What are you talking about? I don't know. It's. It's just like. Like, the idea of, like, you want

[Joe Santagato]

a bunch of marbles in your mouth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I do want marbles in my Mouth. I'm not that too. I'm not gonna lie about that.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like it would definitely fuck up your teeth, but I would do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I understand sex, Dice. Not everyone is so confident in, like, being able to, like, engage in, like, foreplay. So, like, maybe it helps them. Maybe. Maybe it, like. I think it's more of a crutch than it is, like, a tool.

[Joe Santagato]

What about the other things where it's like, here's this lube and it tastes like strawberry lemonade. I'm like, who needs that?

[Frank Alvarez]

We did a full episode trying stuff like that. Do you remember?

[Joe Santagato]

Didn't we like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You chewed on a condom I broke. I don't remember doing that. I remember breaking a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, though. Like, I was. Yeah, you blasted, like, first of all,

[Joe Santagato]

they were fuzzy, but they were also like leather. And you blasted them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo. I fucking absolutely like Superman through those things.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it was like the Hulk and horny.

[Frank Alvarez]

Quite impressive. I'm also on a streak. I mean, I don't want to spoil it. Maybe we'll get into it. I, I, I, I showed my, my strength.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yesterday. I Shady strong guy.

[Joe Santagato]

We'll say this. Frank Limber.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Joe Santagato]

And also there's. There's a lot of power in the legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Show the tarps off. Going back. Show the tarps off. Before I argue about how fucking dog. What's it called? Yahtzee is. But, like, I'm not gonna do it because I'm definitely not that confident in my body. I. But if I went to a game and I saw this, I would be hype. Dude. Dude, that's a weird thing to say. Oh, hold on, let me back up.

[Joe Santagato]

All those kids are.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I was that age.

[Joe Santagato]

18, 19.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I was that age.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Hold on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can you pick up the phone for a sec?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Clarify that. The idea of 19 year old boys doesn't get with their shirts off. Gets me excited.

[Joe Santagato]

I didn't mean.

[Ant Prisco]

But I already wrote that down.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, never mind.

[Ant Prisco]

It's already written down.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, fuck. If I was like, if us and all of our friends went to a game and this was like a trend, I would be pumped.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, it was a thing that you would, like, paint your chest.

[Frank Alvarez]

I never did that. I mean, I go to a school that was in a 1990s, like, romcom. Teen romcom movie.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, it's not like a thing anymore. But like, back in the day, people would go to games and all the big fans, I mean, they still do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like Oakland.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, they'll have. Well, not rip, but The Raiders, they like Las Vegas. Las Vegas. They like paint their faces.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. That is a level outrageous. That's a level of fandom that I am not.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

For like my biggest fandom, I am not there.

[Joe Santagato]

But if you were in the mlb, like, I think I would show up with like a couple of our friends and I would paint like a big F and then like, get an rna, you know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they're. They're like.

[Joe Santagato]

It'd be funny. For a time there were people in

[Frank Alvarez]

my college, they did that. But I was like at the time because they recently have gone D1. Guess it's a cool plug for a school I'm no longer at. But they were D3 at the time. And I remember being like, this does not match the level of skill this team has.

[Joe Santagato]

What, painting your chest?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they were. They called themselves like the Big Blue Wrecking Crew. And I was like, this is a D3 football stadium. Yeah, but you stadium. It was some bleachers.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that if you're in college and there's enough beer involved, go nuts, paint your face.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. Yeah, you know, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna either. Definitely not confident. Good for the people that are to do that. Not me.

[Joe Santagato]

Like you would have. You've painted your face before.

[Ant Prisco]

Such a Frankie thing. I mean, what do we do?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, have I painted my face face for like birthday parties? I can't think of like outside of a birthday party, painting my face, but

[Joe Santagato]

above the age of 14, painting your.

[Frank Alvarez]

I used eye black in a non racially insensitive way. Like a single line or like that? Yeah. You didn't. When you played rugby, you didn't use eye black?

[Ant Prisco]

No, I never used eye black. Honestly, I did. It didn't look like it did anything. Oh, I used it once and. And then I sweat and it came down my whole face.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, that's the best part, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I use it for football. I remember doing it and then being like, you do like the fake rub down and it just looked fucking mean, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that shit was cool. That's the whole point of it. It's not because of the sun. Who cares about the sun? This is for looking cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, Joe looked like the guy

[Ant Prisco]

that put like a cross on it or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I know exactly what Joey would do. He would do the cross on one side and then his number on the other. Like, because he was, by the way, you know what his fucking numbers were? Do you know this? I know you know this. One of them was 22, which is a legitimate number. Why? Because he liked Clyde the Glide. Clyde Drexler. No, it's my brother's number also. You like Clyde Drexler? You openly used to say that.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which I can guarantee your dad liked Clyde Drexler and you had no idea who this person was? And he was like, I like Clyde Drexler.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And two, you know what his football number was, brother? Well, first of all, when you played for your school, I believe Your number was 92.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no, no.

[Ant Prisco]

But it's not a tight end.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no.

[Joe Santagato]

So my. My sophomore year, I joined the team, like, late. Like, I didn't do camp, but I joined late. And I was given 92 because there was no more numbers left. But then I got 18.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Which is a fine number. What do you think his, like, I can pick my number. Football number wise, dude. It is the most, like, attention seeking number on the planet.

[Ant Prisco]

Attention seeking number. Well, it can't be 69, right? No, it's not that kind of guy.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Ant Prisco]

So depending on the. What, it's just one number? One?

[Joe Santagato]

No, no, it was zero.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, that's the second. That's the second worst.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he would call himself Agent Zero

[Joe Santagato]

because Gilbert Arenas was Gilbert Arena.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, that sucks.

[Joe Santagato]

What are you writing down?

[Ant Prisco]

I'm gonna.

[Joe Santagato]

Piece of.

[Ant Prisco]

Don't worry about it.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't write it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't write it down.

[Ant Prisco]

They're gonna see it.

[Joe Santagato]

Don't do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it was. I forgot how we got there. Oh, the tarp thing. The tarps off thing. You wouldn't. You wouldn't partake.

[Joe Santagato]

I'd pop it if it was hot enough, bro. When I went to the baseball game with him, it was scorching. I could have used a pop of the top of the tarp and the bottom.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like anything that would do you more harm than good.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I would have burnt this body if you covered myself in screen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, you wouldn't. And I wouldn't allow you to honestly, to pop. If I was with you at a baseball game and you were like, I'm taking my shirt off, I would say, please don't.

[Joe Santagato]

What if I was painted?

[Frank Alvarez]

That makes it somehow worse. Cause you're a grown man.

[Joe Santagato]

But what if you got free tickets for being painted?

[Frank Alvarez]

Where are the tickets?

[Joe Santagato]

Wherever you want.

[Frank Alvarez]

Anywhere I want.

[Joe Santagato]

Not anywhere, but like within re. No, they're anywhere but. There have to be a seat. Like, you can't sit.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not. Again, I just. I don't like if you got the tickets. Cause you Painted and I can keep my shirt on. I'll be fine.

[Joe Santagato]

No, what if it was, like, there was, like, a brand deal came in. It's like, yo, you can go to, you know, the Knicks finals game, but you guys got to. You're going to be on tv and you're going to be popped, and you're going to be painted for the T. I mean, dude, the tickets are. Are.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't care. I'm not comfortable taking my shirt off and putting that on the Internet

[Joe Santagato]

for the finals. What if it was game seven?

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, Frankie.

[Frank Alvarez]

But here's the thing. I would do it for game seven. I'll pop game seven. I'm not there. I would do it for game five. They're up 3:1. Because if it's game seven and they

[Joe Santagato]

lose, okay, now you're just going home.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm going home with a painted Fucking good point. You know what I mean? Like, if it's game five, they're up 3:1, then. Then for the right price, maybe. Okay, maybe. But, like, I'm seriously not confident enough to allow that to happen. So, like, the price would need to be, like. There has to be, like, a plus confidence rate. You know what I mean?

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, game seven is tough because if they lose, that's winner take all, you know?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You can't go home a loser covered in paint. That sucks.

[Ant Prisco]

Aren't you a good, like, price per value guy? A game 7 ticket is worth so much more.

[Frank Alvarez]

But the price of me to, like, the price that I would have to. It would cost me more if they lost than it would for me to go to the game.

[Joe Santagato]

Because now they lost. Now they lost being painted.

[Frank Alvarez]

I look like this. And now the image of me like this is all over and you gotta

[Joe Santagato]

go home and wash it off. And. And you're a loser.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, and, like, with, like, a loofah.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, yeah, like, yo, we just lost in the finals, and now I'm covered in blue and arms.

[Frank Alvarez]

That would be tough.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that would be rough.

[Ant Prisco]

That would be really, really lost mental units that day, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

Also, not for not speaking of tickets. Sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

People are certainly deaf at the moment. I'm so sorry.

[Joe Santagato]

Being one of them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can I scream again for you?

[Ant Prisco]

We want people to know what's about to happen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, well, the scream is gonna get them. They'll see the spike in the audio, and they'd be like, what happened there? That's.

[Joe Santagato]

That's why now you're thinking. Now I don't know that people see the audio levels.

[Frank Alvarez]

They don't see that the audio only listeners scan through and they're just like, we need a check for any spice going on here. Well, listen, the boys are coming back on the road. I don't know what that was. I didn't want to scream. The Farts. I didn't want to scream. I think whoever edits this, can you put like. No, no, no, no. Keep whatever you have. Really. The Farts are staying. Oh, well, we have been talking about it. We announced when we did Late Late Night with Seth Meers and we said we were going to be doing shows toward the end of the year and we got them.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, listen, we, we, we did at

[Frank Alvarez]

a certain point say that we were

[Joe Santagato]

going to do shows this year after msg. We were like, ooh, shouldn't have said that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Shouldn't have said that.

[Joe Santagato]

But yeah, it's. We're. We're going to be heading out on the road, Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

And also the return of Greg printouts. Yeah, we haven't had a Greg printout in quite a while. I'm going to read this word for

[Joe Santagato]

word so I don't get in trouble. Because there is parentheses that says, don't fuck this up. Exclamation point. Yeah. And it's bolded and underlined.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he doesn't get the opportunity to do printouts like this. So, you know, he was pumped and I don't blame him, honestly. It's pretty fun.

[Joe Santagato]

Listen, this is coming up. All right, so we have the presale starts one Wednesday, June 17th at 12pm Eastern. That's noon through June 18th midnight.

[Frank Alvarez]

There is one person you had to specify that for. The only person we know that didn't know that noon was 12:00pm Ahmed. Yes.

[Joe Santagato]

There you go.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, just again, Wednesday, June 17th at 12:00pm Eastern. So if you are anywhere that is outside of the eastern time zone in the United States, do the conversion. You need to do the conversion. Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

Pre sale code. The basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

Easy. Gonna be simple where, you know it's been the same pre sale code for every other fucking show we've did. Idiots. Also, sorry, that was too much.

[Joe Santagato]

Also, it's at the basement yard dot com, as always. So the basement yard dot com. The pre sale starts Wednesday, June 17th at noon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

Eastern. And it's gonna run through June 18th

[Frank Alvarez]

midnight, by the way, technically through 11:59pm Greg, you fuck this up.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, it's a little confused.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever.

[Joe Santagato]

But the pre sale, just for everyone who like. Because I know that people are like, what the fuck is going on here? The pre sale is when you want to buy tickets. Okay. So we put these things up. There's a pre sale called basement. You have the first dibs on the tickets you're gonna buy. For those, you go to the basementyard.com youm'll have all the links there to each show in every city. And we're gonna go through that right after this. But you go to the basement yard, you put in, you know, you click on the show you want and then you put in the code basement. Then you could buy your tickets. The general sale is whatever's left after the presale basically. And sometimes there's a. They release a lot. Little bit more tickets on the general sale. Cuz so if you couldn't get a ticket on the general on the pre sale, sometimes there will be tickets, but those are much harder to get because there's not a lot left there usually.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let me just say this too. We don't control that. Yeah, we don't. It's just so everyone is clear, like I, I, I, I the misconception that it's just like you could do whatever you want with the tickets. Yeah, no, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And also if it was up to us, we would just release the tickets and that would be that. But pre sale, this is why we push everyone to go to the pre sale and get the tickets. Our shows have sold out a lot in the past, so I would be quick with it, but.

[Frank Alvarez]

Quick with it. Sorry, Completely unnecessary. Completely unnecessary question.

[Ant Prisco]

Pre code, basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

All caps. Doesn't matter.

[Joe Santagato]

Just put in basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is not case sensitive. Perfect.

[Joe Santagato]

Wednesday, June 17th at noon Eastern. That's when the pre sale starts.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, basement is one word for those of you that may not know that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes, it is the basement. Yard dot com. Okay, let's go to the shows.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. This is what the people want. Okay. September 10th. Whoa, wait, hold on. We should also specify this is the first batch of shows.

[Joe Santagato]

I was getting there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I got there first.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, okay. Yeah, so there's gonna be like more to come. We're probably gonna space them out a lot more and just kind of keep a trickle of stuff. But we have a decent amount here going into 2027. But these are in 2026. So September 10, 2026. We're starting in Durham, North Carolina.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why are you pointing at me?

[Joe Santagato]

Do Durham.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do Durham. Do it. Oh, like an acc. I feel like North Carolina is like here like, like a North North Carolina.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, we're going to have to show up and do that show because. So that Frank can learn how the people sound. Because I'M sure that's not it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, wait, before we even get to the Right. But like the people right now in Durham are just like, oh, got one.

[Joe Santagato]

This is a brand new show. Also, we're getting rid of a bunch of the. Like, this is not even going to be similar to the other shows. It's going to be a lot more fun. Oh, it's gonna be interactive. We're gonna get some people on stage. Probs. We're gonna interact with you guys in the crowd.

[Frank Alvarez]

Point your finger if you're gonna do nudity.

[Joe Santagato]

Point my finger. No, I'm not doing nudity.

[Frank Alvarez]

So there will have fucking tarps off basement out

[Ant Prisco]

that one.

[Joe Santagato]

I can't base it.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no.

[Joe Santagato]

But yeah, it's gonna be a brand new show. We have obviously now two years of experience of being on stage. We're a lot more comfortable doing it. So it's going to be a lot more fun and we just want this, this round to be super, like interactive and just like a great time. So we're very excited to do this. And like I said, You.

[Frank Alvarez]

September 10th, Durham. We're Durham. We're starting off with Durham.

[Joe Santagato]

Have you ever been to Durham?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Let me answer that for you. September 12th.

[Joe Santagato]

Where are we, Frank?

[Frank Alvarez]

Charlotte, North Carolina. Two shows in North Carolina.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never even been to North Carolina.

[Frank Alvarez]

Charlotte, the city's so nice that they gave it a name with two T's in it.

[Joe Santagato]

Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never been. I think I've driven through it. That should be fun, you know, and then, oh, after that, couple weeks later. September 24th, Minneapolis, Minnesota. We're back. We're back. We did Minneapolis last year. Mall of America. What's up?

[Joe Santagato]

Gonna go back to that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You think so?

[Joe Santagato]

Why not?

[Ant Prisco]

They have a Rainforest Cafe there.

[Frank Alvarez]

They do. You went there?

[Joe Santagato]

We should go. Just so I can see it and see what you love.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would go there so I could piss in the corner.

[Ant Prisco]

They probably got kicked out.

[Frank Alvarez]

September 26th, from Minneapolis. Over to the other police. We're going to Indianapolis. Indianapolis. Two appolises.

[Joe Santagato]

I know. I mean, I thought one was going to be too much. Now we have two.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now we have two. Annapolis says Minneapolis. The Minnesota. Minnesota. They're here, right? Oh, Minnesota.

[Joe Santagato]

Why are you saying Minnesota?

[Frank Alvarez]

Minnesota. Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[Joe Santagato]

But you said Indianapolis.

[Frank Alvarez]

I said Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Indianapolis in Indiana. I don't know. I have no idea.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, let's go over the dates we

[Frank Alvarez]

have so far because I feel like

[Joe Santagato]

we're a lot of time in between. September 10th, Durham, North Carolina. September 12th, Charlotte North Carolina. September 24th, Minneapolis. September 26th, Indianapolis. October 2nd, we're going to Charleston, South Carolina.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's where I'm so. I'm so sorry.

[Joe Santagato]

It's okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm so sorry. I mean, Charleston, South Carolina, that's where we're getting into the, like, the, you know, Babel bill. Minneapolis, like, it's Mel.

[Joe Santagato]

Molasses.

[Frank Alvarez]

Molasses spewing out your mouth. The office. But yeah. So. October 2nd, Charleston, South Carolina. October 3rd, ATL JoJo. What it do fo ya? Coming back, baby. Back in day. The boys are back in Atlanta, Georgia. And maybe the ATL JoJo line will hit this time.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm sure it will. Now, October 16th, we're going to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. There's a. Yeah, Bethlehem.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Bethlehem. Bethlehem. I believe it's Wind Creek.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is the casino in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania?

[Joe Santagato]

And then November 7th.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, this was. This.

[Joe Santagato]

And I'm kind of excited about.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is one that people have asked for. Buffalo, New York, listen. No one moves the herd circles the wagon. No one circles the wagon like the Buffalo basement yard fans. What did you say? No one moves the herd.

[Joe Santagato]

No one moves the herd in Buffalo.

[Frank Alvarez]

Buffalo, New York. November 7th. We're one that we haven't done.

[Joe Santagato]

We have to jump through a table at some point.

[Ant Prisco]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Holy shit.

[Joe Santagato]

We have to.

[Frank Alvarez]

We have. Do we officially join the Bills mafia? I'm a Jet fan, though. I feel like that's, like, sacrilege.

[Joe Santagato]

That is pretty bad. But they're not even there that weekend. I'm so fucking angry.

[Frank Alvarez]

So. And then another, the next show after November 7th. Buffalo, New York. December 5th. Fifth, Baltimore, Maryland. Going down for some crab cakes, some oysters. How you doing? And then a couple days after that, we're doing a leg back in Texas. This is Texas, or this ain't Texas. I'm just gonna.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's. But it is Texas.

[Frank Alvarez]

December 10th, we're getting weird again over in Austin. December 11th, Dallas, Texas. And then December 13th. Ending in quite possibly. I'm not gonna offend them because I want you guys to buy tickets.

[Joe Santagato]

Houston, Texas. We're going back to Houston, Texas. That's all we're doing for 20, 26.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Cause the holidays grow up, guys.

[Joe Santagato]

But we're not done. Also, January 15th, we're going to Frank's backyard. Not really.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's still close enough. It's closer.

[Joe Santagato]

Newark, New Jersey.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. We'll be in Newark now.

[Joe Santagato]

Our first ever show was in New Jersey. We're coming back and doing Newark.

[Frank Alvarez]

And guess what? We love New Jersey so much that after the January 15th show, the next show we have February 5th. That's my backyard, baby.

[Joe Santagato]

There it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Red Bank, New Jersey. Count Basie Theater. I'm excited for you guys to see Red Bank.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it Count Basie Theater? I don't even know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I believe so, but it's a crazy thing to say. And we don't know. I'm pretty sure you will love Red Bank. It's fucking awesome.

[Joe Santagato]

We're going to check it out then. Now, this is my birthday trip that we're going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

February 23rd and February 24th, Vancouver. We're coming back. We did Just for laughs out there. We had two amazing shows there that kicked off our last tour. So we are coming back for that and we're coming back for my birthday. So those are gonna be my birthday shows. My birthday is February 25th, so February 23rd and February 24th in Vancouver. And then February 26th, we're going to be in Los Angeles.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ooh, L.A. california.

[Ant Prisco]

Love. Right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly. Just give me that.

[Joe Santagato]

And then March 12th, coming back to Chicago theater.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you know, what a time. What a theater. Back to the Bean. Back to the Bean. Joe's going to flick it if he could ever find it.

[Joe Santagato]

Bastard. But yeah. So those are the shows that we have booked for now. Just to run through them again. September 10th, Durham, North Carolina. September 12th, Charlotte, North Carolina. September 24th, Minneapolis, Minnesota. September 26th, Indianapolis. October 2nd, Charleston. October 3rd, Atlanta. October 16th, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. November 7th, Buffalo. December 5th, Baltimore. December 10th, Austin. December 11th, Dallas. December 13th, Houston. January 15th, Newark. February 5th, Red Bank, New Jersey. February 23rd and 24th in Vancouver, the 26th in LA and March 12th in Chicago. Okay. Like Frank said earlier, these are just the beginning. We're going to be spreading this out over the course of the next year, too, in 2027. So there will be more shows booked. I can't guarantee where those are going to be or when they're going to be, but, you know, we also, you know, there will be more shows at it.

[Ant Prisco]

It's just.

[Joe Santagato]

It's just.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is what it is. I don't know why I kept laughing when you were saying my birthday, because I was thinking of that tick tock, where he's just like, it's my birthday and I want to show you my girlfriend. You remember that? And like a bunch of people kept quoting it and it was like showing the dude's hand and it looked like the girls, like, tied up or something, like, you know.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're very, very excited. We have done a lot of, you know, kind of conversations on our end on what we can do to make this show entirely new and entirely fresh and like, give people something. So like, there is not the feeling of like, oh, I just saw them. Like, this will be new. This will be tailored to make it the most interactive, fun, borderline crazy experience that it could be. And I'm excited. I know you're excited and don't care how you feel about it, but, you know, you guys were so incredibly supportive and fucking unbelievably, like, passionate during our first round of shows that we are. We're just beyond elated at what this could be.

[Joe Santagato]

I do want to say that truly every time, like, because of your support, we are able to kind of like, brag in some sort of way of like, yeah, we've like done these places and all these people show up for us and it's like this awesome thing. So you guys have like literally blown this out of proportion. And now we have a legitimate, like, touring career because of all you guys. And we, we truly didn't think that we were going to do shows this year because we didn't know. We thought that like, ah, they're going to be like, kind of sick of it. But the support has only gotten more and more crazy and yeah, we could

[Frank Alvarez]

we talk that shit, baby. Well, I'm just saying, like, that shit, baby.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like we got, we got nervous of being like, you know, we, we've done it for two years. We've. People have already seen us. Like, I think they get it or

[Frank Alvarez]

kind of that thing. But I'll tell you this, I don't know if this is like too baby girl of me though, but like, the feeling of like, maybe people won't come is still there. You know what I mean? Like, I'm panicking, but like, it's just like we, it is such an honor. I know that's a weird, like, I hope that doesn't sound like dramatic to say that but like, it is such a privilege and honor to get to do this stuff that like, it's not lost on me that like, people may not show up. You know what I mean? So like, when, you know, I can speak for myself here and I think I could speak for Joey, but like, every show that we've done, the day that the tickets have went on sale, it's a. I don't mind. I scared, like, it is, it is crazy. So you guys have put us in the position to get that opportunity to explore a talent and a skill and the opportunity to try to make you

[Joe Santagato]

guys happy and laugh and this is so fun too. And you know, I. I think, you know, we just, we just really appreciate being able to do this. And, and like I said, we. We told ourselves we weren't going to do any shows this year, but there just has been like a lot of growth and we're having a lot of discussions internally about like, we really want to see how far we can push this and see, you know, if we can create another show, like a brand new show from scratch that is like even better than the last one. So we can create an experience for people that have been to shows before that they're like, holy shit. That was like so much better. We'd like to believe that the first round of shows and the second year of shows were very different as far as like how good we. We felt about them. So this one is going to be definitely like, obviously the best work that we could possibly put out. But again, Wednesday, June 17th at noon Eastern. Go to the basementyard dot com. The pre sale code is basement. Get those tickets. I would be ready for them because like I said, you know, last time, like a lot of people were buying tickets immediately at that time. So that is the pre sale. The general sale starts on Friday, June 19th. But again, I would get to the pre sale. But we're going back on the road. Please God, help us. Two appises.

[Frank Alvarez]

You never two app bro. We're doing back to back appis. Back to back ellipse. That's got to be sure. That's got to be a shirt, right? It's the back to back ellipse. The back to back ellipse. The appolis. It's not acolytes. It's the apple apocalypse. No, it's the back to back a. Less appolis. Back to back a Lips. No, not lips. Police.

[Joe Santagato]

It's the back of lap. No appolis.

[Frank Alvarez]

Back to back to back. No, back to backalis. Back to Bapolis.

[Joe Santagato]

It's got to be a p. Ooh,

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm going to have a heart attack.

[Joe Santagato]

Back to back. Oh, back to Bapolis.

[Frank Alvarez]

Back to Bapolis.

[Joe Santagato]

That. No, it's got to be the K.

[Frank Alvarez]

Back to back Mini. Maybe don't put indie. Is that like a bad thing?

[Joe Santagato]

That's a whole genre of music, Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, cool. I don't know. You know, I'm not as chronically online indie music. I don't know. It's a music but like it could be like appolis. Just. Just do me a favor.

[Joe Santagato]

Move on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Take Your fist and ball it up. Hit me repeatedly in this fucking square inch of my face. Do the ads. And then I have a question for you, A legitimate question for you, not compared to a fake question.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, most of this show is fake questions. Thank you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sorry.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. We do have ads. The first one being how you doing, Cachava. All right. This is a lovely product that I was using way before they were a sponsor on this show. But they are great. They're. They're like a protein. So it provides clean nutrition to fuel wherever your day takes you. No fillers, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners. But it has all of these things. They have things that have boost your energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, immunity, things like that. But all the nutrition your body craves in one deliciously simple shake pack to go, by the way. Very delicious.

[Frank Alvarez]

Very.

[Joe Santagato]

And I'm not saying that lightly, especially the chocolate one. They would have to stop me from drinking it. Honestly, it's amazing. But one packet provides complete nutrition ready for life on the go with protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals, greens, probiotics, omegas, electrolytes, and more. The feature, six fan favorite flavors. Chocolate, amazing. Vanilla, also very good.

[Ant Prisco]

Chai.

[Joe Santagato]

Haven't had that one. Matcha. Haven't had that one either. What's going on? Coconut, acai, which is good. And strawberry also love.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo. The chai one is bananas.

[Joe Santagato]

You like it? I haven't had it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is so good.

[Joe Santagato]

I got to try it. But yeah, right now you can go try them out. Take your daily ritual with ritual with you. Go to kachava.com and use the code BASEMENT for 15% off of your first order. Okay? That is 15% of your first order. The website is Kachava K A C H a v a.com and the code is basement. All right, so go to kachava.com. use the code BASEMENT to get 15% off your first order, folks. And we also have skims. Okay?

[Frank Alvarez]

Skims.

[Joe Santagato]

They make lovely underwear for boys and girls. They just started making a men's line not to. I mean, I think they like launched with just womenswear, but now they have men's for those who don't know. And they're very comfortable. They sent us a bunch of pairs and like I said, they're very comfortable. It's breathable. It doesn't hug you too hard, you know, it doesn't like. It doesn't make you sweat. Sometimes you. You buy a pair of underwear and it's like, oh, I kind of like these. And then you get out there in the world and it's like, well, okay, I'm sweating through these things. It's. It's kind of gross. But these are nice and breathable. They're very comfortable. There's a lot of cool colors and stuff, but you can go check that out. It's also a really good gift, maybe for your loved one, but like I said, they have for men and women. So you can go check them [e-mail] basement and, yeah, let them know that we sent you. Again, that is skims.com basement to get that for you. But let me send you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that falls.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let them know. And while you're browsing the Internet, while you're hot on the web, go over to patreon.com the basement yard and what will you see? Us and what will you get? More of us. That's crazy. That's what you want, I hope. And if you do great, then it's there for you. If not, whatever. This isn't for you. Patreon.com the Basementyard is the service that we use to give you guys more of us, and it's one of the best ways to directly support us. So go check it out. There's different tiers, and you get different things with different tiers. Okay, that first tier, you get these weekly episodes seven whole days in advance. Okay, that second tier, well, you got exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you go, really only four days without seeing new, new, new episodes by us? That's kind of sick. That's kind of rad. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard. You guys have helped us break unbelievable amounts of records. I think we are somewhere like fifth in the world in podcasts. It's because of your support, and we do not take it for granted. So thank you. Go to patreon.com the basement yard. Check it out. Give it as a gift for family, for friends, for whomever you want to give it to. And if you want to do that and save yourself a couple extra bucks while doing it, do it on the web. Do it on a web browser. If you use the smart app, they're gonna take some extra money for it from you. Okay?

[Joe Santagato]

So.

[Frank Alvarez]

Patreon.com TheBasementyard thank you. We love you. We appreciate you. Go check it out. Yes, I had a question. Since we're hot on the tails, off the tails. Hot on the trail, off the tails. Since we're Hot off the heels. Off the heels. On the heels. It doesn't matter.

[Ant Prisco]

Wearing heels.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure.

[Joe Santagato]

Hot wearing heels.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you could go and re. Watch a video of our very first show, would you?

[Joe Santagato]

You know, I can do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

How?

[Joe Santagato]

The episode exists. What are you talking about? No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, our first live show. Live show.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh.

[Joe Santagato]

I was like, bro, it exists.

[Frank Alvarez]

Live show. Live show.

[Joe Santagato]

Would I watch it? Yeah, I'd attempt to.

[Frank Alvarez]

And hell yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think it would be, like, uncomfortable for you.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, all of that is uncomfortable for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

It is. I don't watch any of this stuff back. It's uncomfortable youe don't you hear actors

[Joe Santagato]

and interviews and they're like, yeah, I never watch any of my movies. Like, part of me thinks that weird. That's weird. But then at the same time, I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I get it completely.

[Joe Santagato]

I wouldn't want to watch that either

[Frank Alvarez]

because I. I have parts, I have bit. I see clips, and I'll like. I'll be like, if I see a clip and I don't remember the context or what it is or what's coming next, then I'll see. I'll be like, oh, yeah. But I get the thing of, like, I see it. I'm like, who's that? That's not me. I don't. I don't. You know what I mean? Like, that, I guess.

[Joe Santagato]

But I think, like, the first show is. It would be tough because I just know how fucking nervous I was. Like, I just know how, like, I wasn't fully comfortable yet with that, so I was just kind of, like, trying really hard.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I think I. I don't want to bury us, but, like, I just think that we were just not good at what we were trying to first try. We were not good at what we were trying to do yet. Yeah. And then that's why it's so exciting

[Joe Santagato]

to do these shows, because now it feels like, okay, we've gotten to a place where we're a lot more comfortable on stage. So now it feels like we could really just have fun doing it. Like, now I'm just, like, looking forward to doing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also. Couldn't hear you during that first bit. That first one.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I couldn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could. It was, like, very difficult.

[Joe Santagato]

I think I came out. The first thing I said is, like, oh, my God, you guys are so close to the stage, I could pee on you. I was so nervous.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's all right. We accepted an award. And I said I was gonna piss my pants. What's what's up. What's with us in urine?

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, it's just one of the things that happens to a body.

[Frank Alvarez]

It does. It doesn't happen to a body. It happens because.

[Joe Santagato]

Through a body, because of a body.

[Frank Alvarez]

True, but I see you got something there, and I'm afraid because it's a box with a hot dog on it. Yes, but it doesn't look like a hot dog's in it.

[Ant Prisco]

I have a box here that says you, the wiener. Is that how you say that?

[Joe Santagato]

Can you pronounce it one more time?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's like O. O, the wiener. It's so French. Like E, A, U first of all, all vowels.

[Ant Prisco]

So how does that work?

[Frank Alvarez]

Or is it like, ooh, the wiener?

[Joe Santagato]

Frank, It's. I can almost guarantee it's not that.

[Ant Prisco]

You doing pronunciation?

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you spell it?

[Ant Prisco]

E, A, U.

[Joe Santagato]

It's pronounced exactly like the weather.

[Frank Alvarez]

The letter O. O, O, O, O, the wiener. Oh, de wiener. Oh, the wiener.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, the wiener.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Those stupid French people.

[Joe Santagato]

This, I think it's eh.

[Frank Alvarez]

O. No, it just said. It's pronounced like. Well, like, phonetically, like, oh, oh, oh, de winner. Oh, de wino. Is that how you say oh, de winner?

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, de winner.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Frank wants. What do you want? All the way.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, stop it.

[Joe Santagato]

That's what I heard. I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you remember. Remember that, like, mid-2000s Pink Panther movie? The clip of Steve Martin? Like Daboga?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly French. Wait, what the.

[Ant Prisco]

Is that right? So this is hot dog cologne.

[Frank Alvarez]

Shut the up. All right.

[Joe Santagato]

You gotta.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I get. I gather you smelled it. Stink it. I've.

[Ant Prisco]

I've stunked a little bit of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You stinked it.

[Ant Prisco]

So it's for you. Ready?

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, for me?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you'd be fine. Don't throw it over the camera, dude. The camera's like 40,000 million dollars.

[Joe Santagato]

It certainly is not.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, that was a perfect throw.

[Frank Alvarez]

But that was.

[Joe Santagato]

I love the box.

[Ant Prisco]

Frankie. I want Frankie to just, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, first of all, you know, I'm not doing that.

[Joe Santagato]

It's got to be a cool bottle. If it's not a cool bottle, I'll be so pissed off if it's not a cool bottle. It's not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sucks.

[Joe Santagato]

I'll tell you what. It looks like dehydrated pee.

[Frank Alvarez]

It does look like pee. It does. I've pissed that before.

[Joe Santagato]

Am I gonna vom? Am I gonna vom? My little.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you need to. You need to. You need to.

[Ant Prisco]

I'll do this. I Think you'll be surprised in a good.

[Joe Santagato]

That's up to you, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Go.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not gonna spray it on my body.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, I'm gonna spray it in the air.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that's worse than the mist will get on your body. Direct the spray at your. At your. At your arm.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I'm gonna go in the air.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's gonna get on you, brother.

[Joe Santagato]

I know that's bad. You're. Yeah, you're saying, put it on me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but, like, that's gonna get more on you than that if I. If I limit it to there.

[Joe Santagato]

Your brain is an interesting place. Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the.

[Joe Santagato]

Santa Claus fuck was that really? Why is it burnt?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's burnt. Oh, I love burnt dogs.

[Ant Prisco]

How's it feel?

[Frank Alvarez]

Toss that. I feel, too. Toss that here. That was the most dangerous way because look at how it landed.

[Joe Santagato]

I could have hit you right.

[Frank Alvarez]

If that would have hit me in the funch.

[Joe Santagato]

That could have hit you right in the teeth.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do it the way I said you should.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, wow.

[Joe Santagato]

That's supposed to rub cologne, this guy. How weird is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

What is that?

[Joe Santagato]

It stinks like suck.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo. It's not off. Look at how he's smelling this thing. Can you go back to smell? It's like a smell vortex, yo. It smells like. Honestly, it smells more like the. Like, burnt. The burnt pretzels that they have at the dog stand, but old.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not getting wiener.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm getting. I'm getting more like. Like, City street pretzel.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Burnt pretzel.

[Joe Santagato]

Than I am dog and dirty shoe. I'm getting dirty shoe.

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like. But there's a scent of, like in there.

[Ant Prisco]

It was a little sweet, wasn't it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't it? Yeah, it is a little sweet.

[Ant Prisco]

I think after a little bit, it starts to smell like dog.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like you doing that is completely unnecessary to the. To smelling.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, no, it doesn't smell like hot dog at all.

[Ant Prisco]

Maybe you didn't put enough.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's by Shynesti. Shy Nasty Shines. Shynessy.

[Joe Santagato]

I have a question.

[Ant Prisco]

I have a question.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

What if it tastes like hot dog?

[Frank Alvarez]

Nice try.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, not gonna be doing that. Yeah. Double dog dare him, though. How about that? No.

[Frank Alvarez]

How about you do it double dog there.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

How about you do it. No.

[Ant Prisco]

To spray a little and then go ahead.

[Joe Santagato]

You didn't get any.

[Ant Prisco]

You didn't get any. It tastes like Frankie.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, no. You faked that.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was fake. It was Pranked.

[Joe Santagato]

I know we're old. You can't prank us. We're not jailoroon.

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't taste like any. It tastes like my skin.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, I think you didn't get any. That's why.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nice try.

[Ant Prisco]

So you just taste.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fucking try.

[Joe Santagato]

It does say warning to be sniffed and spritzed, not sipped. Which is fair.

[Ant Prisco]

Damn it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I'm glad they specified that because you know that there's someone that did that. A good novelty. A novelty thing does not smell more taste like a hot dog in any capacity really. And they also up by not making this hot dog shaped.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Make it a glizzy shape.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm sure that costs a lot. And for a novelty thing like this, like they need to think of.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, you getting the stink coming over here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now you get a burnt. Watch this.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I can smell it on its way.

[Ant Prisco]

I think it's passing you.

[Joe Santagato]

Its way to you.

[Ant Prisco]

Here it comes. Big bad Frankie over there.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Jesus.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Blows house down.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, there it is.

[Joe Santagato]

Got it. Wow.

[Ant Prisco]

It took a little pass.

[Frank Alvarez]

It doesn't smell like, doesn't. It doesn't smell like sweet wood. It's not like bad. It's just something I think you expected us to be gag boys. Frank, really sorry, I didn't mean to. That was a. That was a legitimate.

[Joe Santagato]

My mom watches this show.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a legitimate like mistake.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here, you could take this back. I. I've never. I wanna. I wanna get one of those, like. Have you smelled the ones that are like farts?

[Ant Prisco]

Do you remember?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah. Fart sprays.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember fart bags.

[Ant Prisco]

Do you remember when. The first time you came to my home.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was right after I did it on an episode. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, you threw a fart bag one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it was like three.

[Ant Prisco]

I think he threw three at once. So by the time you gathered to. One of them's gonna go off.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I. I mean they're. They. They just stink like a butt. Like it's just.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's the part that sucks.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember I did it in the

[Joe Santagato]

studio and then I broke a mug on my fucking wall.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was a crazy episode.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, the studio at that time, my apartment. So you fart bagged my apartment.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it was one room that was far enough away from like the rest of your apartment.

[Joe Santagato]

Let me ask you, do you know how wind works? How you work? You know, air, how things spread via air?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't think that was like a big concern.

[Joe Santagato]

It was a small room. The place stunk like a. I honestly

[Frank Alvarez]

don't remember it was at the beginning

[Joe Santagato]

of the episode as well.

[Frank Alvarez]

I remember doing it. Yeah. And I remember throwing. And we like fucking, like threw it back and forth and then it popped on the floor. Yeah, those things are. They smell and they pop. They smell. Have you ever seen the glass ones?

[Joe Santagato]

Glass?

[Frank Alvarez]

The glass stink bombs. No, they come in like a little glass vial. I had one in middle school and I broke it on the ground and boy, that smells.

[Joe Santagato]

Smell like a big poop of shit.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is a rough one. Like a tough one. Oh, it's starting to get you.

[Ant Prisco]

God damn. It's like it's your breath now.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow. He says your breast stinks.

[Ant Prisco]

No, it's because every time he breathes, more air comes this way and I'm getting it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, wow. I mean, I don't think I have that strong of a breath.

[Joe Santagato]

If you could smell his breath from there, big trouble.

[Ant Prisco]

No, I'm not smelling his breath. It's just the wind.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just the circulation.

[Joe Santagato]

It just smells like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like you're also like, look, that is gonna. They can't see it, but like, that's gonna blow it right at you.

[Joe Santagato]

It smells like a corner in Manhattan right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

It really. It absolutely. It smells like the corner of like thin 34th and 9th Avenue. Yeah, like, it's just like right outside of the Garden and you're getting the like hot dog cart smell.

[Joe Santagato]

Hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, they don't shout at you anymore. Yeah, well, it's the people at stadiums and, and, and arenas that shout out.

[Joe Santagato]

You ever see that one guy at like Cubs games

[Frank Alvarez]

where he goes hot

[Joe Santagato]

dogs and it scares the out of everyone here. Yeah, that's a guy dedicated to his job, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I fuck with that. I mean, that's how. And especially in the like today's world, that's going to go viral, but that's not going to do anything. They're not going to like, give them a boost, like, hey, good job, here's an extra couple bucks. Do you think that maybe those people

[Joe Santagato]

get paid based on how many they sell?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

So what's the incentive to like, go so hard? I guess just like, enjoying your job. I mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's just like, you might as well have fun doing it.

[Ant Prisco]

I think it doesn't look good if they sell none, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean. Yeah, I'm sure. Correct. I'm sure.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I'd just be eating those. Then if I went up a whole section and no one bought, I'd be like, man, I'm popping one.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, but Then you need to pay for it.

[Joe Santagato]

Nah, no shot.

[Frank Alvarez]

So then they'll say you have sold none. But there are three missing.

[Joe Santagato]

They're not gonna count the hot dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. It's food, brother. I can almost guarantee inventory. I can guarantee that they will to some degree.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, there's breakage, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

They count and everything, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

I'll make up another lie then. I was punched in the eye and someone stole a hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's hundreds of cameras in these places.

[Joe Santagato]

This was a silent assassin, but the

[Frank Alvarez]

camera still capturing the video.

[Joe Santagato]

I had to test the fucking hot dog to make sure a lady wouldn't buy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay, why three then?

[Joe Santagato]

Why did I eat three?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, Joe, you know what? This is a great. I'll be the boss.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why are there three missing hot dogs for? From your hot bag?

[Joe Santagato]

There is three missing.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's three. You went. We clocked you at going out there with 20, and there's 17 in here now.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I sold all of them. Maybe there was, like, something with the transaction you sold.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cause your transactions say you've done no transactions.

[Joe Santagato]

Maybe it's something with the reader. I sold all the.

[Frank Alvarez]

What do you think I ate three. Where did you sell them?

[Joe Santagato]

To the people.

[Frank Alvarez]

What section? Cause you were working this section. You're working section 100.

[Joe Santagato]

Which specific section? Yeah, I mean, I'm in 108, 109 and 110. So in there. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Co. Do you mind if we pull up the video?

[Joe Santagato]

Pull up the video.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, let's look at the video. It shows you eating the hot dog.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, yeah, I had a hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had three.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

Here's the video of you having a first hot dog.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

A minute later, having the second one.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm. I'm allowed to eat the hot dog, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Not ours.

[Joe Santagato]

Whose am I allowed to eat? You can take it out of my picture.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. We will be docking your pay. And also you're fired for eating on the job. That's not yours. First of all, that's theft. First of all, that's theft.

[Joe Santagato]

One hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Theft, theft, theft.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm an employee here. I need to eat. I'm starving. I had a headache. I was going to.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's why you have a break.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm walking up and down stairs all day long. I have one hot dog and now you're gonna fire me?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. That is theft.

[Ant Prisco]

Sue Em.

[Joe Santagato]

This is absolutely ridiculous. So what if I. What if I get so hungry that I get a headache and I fall down? Because those things are very heavy. I don't know if you've carried one of those.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you have a medical condition, we hope that you would have medical condition.

[Joe Santagato]

People just get hungry on the job. I'm working hard and it's hot out there.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's why you have an allotted break period where you can eat on your allotted break time. The expectation is that during work time, you are working, not eating.

[Joe Santagato]

Joey, it was a long inning and they told me to go out during the inning. I had to go out in the third inning twice.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you cannot go an inning without eating. Then you're in the wrong line of work, which I am doing you a favor by firing.

[Joe Santagato]

So medically you're fighting. You're following me because now you're my doctor.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I am firing you because what you did is theft.

[Joe Santagato]

Period.

[Frank Alvarez]

End of story. You will be docked and you will dock my pay. It's not theft. But if I dock your pay this time, then the next time you will do it again and just be like, dock my pay. And that's setting a standard that is not good for the company culture.

[Joe Santagato]

Whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

You will be fired. You need to be an example. Whatever. And guess what? We're going to murder you in front of your coworkers.

[Joe Santagato]

If this is the type of company that you're worried about. One hot dog from one of your employees who ate because of a medical condition, you're going to fire me because of that? I don't even want to fucking work here. There's millions of dollars being generated here and. And all of us are working really hard and we don't get paid that much. I eat one hot dog and now you're going to fire me? Wrong. I quit this club.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fine. No severance. Severance? You were getting severance for your hot dog theft. You were being fired with cause. And we would have given you severance now, you idiot.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't need the job.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now you get nothing. Now you get nothing. Now you get. You get nothing. I get another. You get for cheaper off the street. You get nothing out of life. You're worried about hot dogs. It's $12. You put down the P and L sheet, you'll be fine. My job. My job requires me to care about this. It's a baseball requires. Guess what? I have a job. Guess what? You have nothing and a fucking higher cholesterol for it. Now you have nothing. You have nothing to show because you've never. You think that you're gonna start some fucking movement of the masses where you stood up to the big fucking big team because you ate A hot dog. You really stuck it to the man. You're out of a job. You are nothing. You are the lowest of the low now and you're unemployed, you fucking idiot.

[Joe Santagato]

You're going to die early.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'll die before me. Cuz you ate three hot dogs in a 10 minute span.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, it wasn't a 10 minute span. It was the length of the game. And I also didn't eat three hot dogs. Ate one hot dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where'd the other two go?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Logic stands to reason that if you lied initially about eating the first hot dog, you're probably lying about the other two that are missing. What does it say about this company

[Joe Santagato]

that I have to lie about eating a hot dog? I'm so scared of my superiors that I eat a hot dog and I have to lie about it because I can't even eat a hot dog. Just feed us.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you're trying to tackle company culture, do it on your tackle company culture. Do it with a lawyer on your unemployed time. You're not going to do it now. You're done, dude. And you quit. So now we have no reason to give you severance. Who are you calling?

[Joe Santagato]

No, I was recording our conversation. So explain that to the fucking papers, you bitch. I got you and you're going down.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's over.

[Joe Santagato]

You never talk to an employee like that. And I don't give a fuck if you fire me. Because guess What? Fuck the 13 you're taking out of my pay for the hot dog. Which by the way, now it's not theft.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm coming for all of it. Well, guess what?

[Joe Santagato]

You're getting fired.

[Frank Alvarez]

Guess what? I work and live in the state of New York. I understand that you need two party consent in order to record someone. And you didn't inform me that I was being recorded. So that is inadmissible in court. Now that's inadm. Call up the legal eagle. You're fucking done. Idiot. You think you played Perry Mason Gotcha on me? You don't even know. I know about recording. I record people all the time.

[Joe Santagato]

Another admission you're fired.

[Frank Alvarez]

Inadmissible in court.

[Joe Santagato]

But the papers will hear about it and you will be fired.

[Frank Alvarez]

The papers? You think I'm real worried about the fucking New York Times hearing about Joe Santa gotta got fired for eating a hot dog on the fucking job. They're gonna be like, what an idiot. He should have just not ate the hot dog.

[Joe Santagato]

No one's gonna think that way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes they will. Who are you fighting for? The common man.

[Joe Santagato]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're a fraud. You got caught red handed. Red glizzied down your throat. And now you want to try to be some fucking. Some martyr for a movement.

[Joe Santagato]

I work at this ballpark.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not anymore.

[Joe Santagato]

I worked at this ball. This, this big bowl of shit, this place. I did work here. And I got paid minimum wage to sling hot dogs for you guys, which I did. I ate one hot dog. And now you in a senior position are not only firing me, but stepping on my head on the way out the door. And, and. Which means you're stepping on the heads of all the employees who work on the same level as me. And I have you on tape doing that. You're done.

[Frank Alvarez]

But guess what? Guess what? If you were honest, if you have been honest from the jump, this is now no longer about the theft. It is about the character. If you had been honest, sure you care about that? You know what? I ate the hot dog because I was hungry. We would have had a separate conversation. But you, you completely. Absolutely.

[Joe Santagato]

So it's not about.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because if you're lying and no, no, no. It is theft. But if you now on top of it, you're lying about eating the hot dog now it's. It's like, okay, what else is he going to lie? I gave him. You the opportunity to be honest about it and you lied to my face. You're so cold. Look at the video. Look at you eating in that fucking video.

[Joe Santagato]

You're a sick man. You're a sicko.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm sick.

[Joe Santagato]

You're sick.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? I am though? I might be sick, but I'm employed.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, not for long, you jerk. And scene.

[Frank Alvarez]

And scene. Great job, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Great to work with.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really, really nice, really fun job working. I love what you really, really appreciate. Your passion.

[Joe Santagato]

I love your choices.

[Frank Alvarez]

Felt like I was arguing with the movement.

[Joe Santagato]

I was in the ballpark and I felt like you were there. I could see your suit. I could just feel the.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could taste the hot dog on your breath. That's how real it was.

[Joe Santagato]

Smell. I was there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was smelling the 100. Yeah. You actually helped us set the scene. Thank you so much. But really, class act. Really enjoyed working with you. Thank you so much. If you ever want to work together in the future, no hesitation, please.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Really? Yes.

[Ant Prisco]

Joe versus the state of hot dogs.

[Joe Santagato]

Case closed. Well, it's a kind of a cliffhanger. We don't know what's going to happen.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right. We don't know if it actually will be held up.

[Joe Santagato]

It is actually art. So it can be interpreted in any way that anyone wants to interpret it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Blade Runner. You know the ending of Citizen Kane? The ending of this argument? You don't know. There's no clear answer as to what happened.

[Joe Santagato]

You ever see the end of the Inception? We don't know if that thing's going to topple over or not. It's kind of the same deal here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Christopher Nolan. Fucking Stanley Kubrick. Joe and Frank from the basement.

[Joe Santagato]

Exactly. What are you going to do? Someone better fucking hire us. After that.

[Ant Prisco]

After that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, we are really good at. What? Improv. I like just being.

[Joe Santagato]

Involves yelling at each other. Forget about it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah,

[Joe Santagato]

also I have more ads.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should probably get to that.

[Joe Santagato]

I actually have three more here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Three.

[Joe Santagato]

Three.

[Frank Alvarez]

Packed episode. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

All right.

[Joe Santagato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

Love that for us. Honestly. Yeah, love that for us.

[Joe Santagato]

What was the thing with the cruise line? You said you brought that up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I saw something that a cruise line I believe in Europe is Is starting to find people that bring food from the like from the cruise back to their rooms. Have you been on a cruise?

[Joe Santagato]

Are you insane?

[Frank Alvarez]

Cruise, Cruise. I'm thinking, I'm thinking Tom Cruise.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never been on a cruise. Not my thing. I don't like being trapped.

[Frank Alvarez]

You seem like you're a big cruise

[Joe Santagato]

guy, like a Disney cruise.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you would. He's like, no, I would hate a cruise.

[Joe Santagato]

You put Mickey Mouse on that bitch though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Goonin for cruisin'. Yeah, he's going in for cruising.

[Joe Santagato]

Have you been on a cruise?

[Ant Prisco]

Just once. It's where my dad won Mr. Sexy Legs. Famously.

[Joe Santagato]

Mr.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sexy Legs. Yes, we've talked about this.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. Your dad's a good looking guy.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never seen his legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if I've seen his legs to confirm that.

[Ant Prisco]

He has to hide his legs because they're so sexy. Exactly.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's got it.

[Joe Santagato]

He's got sexy legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

For real.

[Ant Prisco]

Apparently.

[Joe Santagato]

He's got big calves.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can you pull up your dad's legs?

[Ant Prisco]

Not sure how I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you have a picture of your dad in shorts?

[Joe Santagato]

He's got ankles. Like nice ones.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I love what makes a leg sexy. And obviously talking about male legs because.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, we're talking about male.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you're his Mr. Sexy Legs, right?

[Joe Santagato]

My father, I think like a tanned, muscular leg.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your dad's not tan.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, it was dead of winter when you saw him. But he gets tan.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, he's Italian.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not all Italians get tan.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, is he full Italian? Yeah, they get tan.

[Ant Prisco]

He could, he could, he could.

[Frank Alvarez]

It depends on where they're from in Italy.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, he tans with the best of them.

[Ant Prisco]

He's out there, he can olive it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I guess. What? But like, what, like. So you were on the cruise, you saw him when Mr. Sexy.

[Ant Prisco]

I did indeed.

[Joe Santagato]

How old were you?

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, man, I might have been like seven.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, wow. You know nothing about it.

[Ant Prisco]

I didn't know what was going on. I just know he got a ribbon.

[Joe Santagato]

That's it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Still have it?

[Ant Prisco]

There's no way.

[Joe Santagato]

Did he give him like a margarita or something?

[Ant Prisco]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

What did. Yeah. What did he win for being Mr. Sexy?

[Ant Prisco]

He got like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just a sash. Just a sash.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that's kind of.

[Ant Prisco]

But it was in view of the whole cruise.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would you. Honestly, from what you know about your father, would you say his legs are sexy?

[Ant Prisco]

He's the reigning champ.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I mean, when you were seven, brother. This was 15 years ago. I don't know how old you Are probably.

[Ant Prisco]

He might be out of his sexy legs prime.

[Joe Santagato]

You ever walk around your dad and be like, damn, he's got some fucking good, good legs on him.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, probably.

[Joe Santagato]

That's fire.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just don't know.

[Joe Santagato]

What are your dad's legs? Shit.

[Ant Prisco]

We comparing dad legs?

[Frank Alvarez]

My dad. Well, he got his knees replaced.

[Joe Santagato]

Both?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, my dad walked around like a like. So I made this joke before. It looks like someone took a bat, put it in between his legs and just fucking went like that,

[Joe Santagato]

bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

Knees look like dog.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't really know your dad's knees because I feel like when I. When he does wear shorts, they're below the knee. So I don't really see that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, my dad.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like that generation, it was

[Frank Alvarez]

like, my dad doesn't wear capris. He just wears long shorts.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I feel like I've only seen your dad in sandals. Like literally everywhere.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's either wearing sandals or pumas. Nothing in between. He had like at one point like five pairs of pumas. Like those like pumas that like ralph we used to wear. You know which one?

[Joe Santagato]

Italian, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

The like ones that like, they are meant for athletes. But my dad is not like very famously in 50 years. Very. I very make. I want to make sure I make that very clear.

[Joe Santagato]

Did your dad play sports?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, he said he was soccer and he was big into handball.

[Joe Santagato]

Handball?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like handball.

[Joe Santagato]

Like I know what handball is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just want to make sure not

[Joe Santagato]

everyone that used that it would be handball.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, it's like a very New York City Hispanic kid thing to play.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which he probably could have went pro, but in handball, he was playing handball every day for like 10 hours.

[Joe Santagato]

What is professional handball?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Is it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

There's like pro leagues of handball.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

Our high school was mad good at handball.

[Ant Prisco]

Mad good.

[Joe Santagato]

Mad good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You guys had white preppy kids. Our.

[Joe Santagato]

We had.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was strictly Asian.

[Ant Prisco]

No, there was one.

[Joe Santagato]

There was one.

[Ant Prisco]

There was one star white.

[Joe Santagato]

Our was heavily Asian and they were nasty, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

My high school, it was like the Hispanics, they were good. They were. I think they were like the city champs, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

These Asian kids would have whooped their ass.

[Frank Alvarez]

N. No shot, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

They were like back to back to back champs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your. Your St. Francis Prep, they were handball team wouldn't even fucking sniff a candle. I guarantee against any one of the fucking like, bro, Hispanics, Puerto Ricans that lived in the Ravenswood projects at Bryant High School. Sorry, dude. You guys might have had fucking us beating everything else.

[Joe Santagato]

No, definitely not. Handball, bro. I'm telling you, these Asian kids were savages at handball.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. They're not beating because they're like. They're playing like. They're not beating, like, inner city, public park handball kids.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know, bro. They were good.

[Frank Alvarez]

They might have been good. They're not. They're not.

[Joe Santagato]

I would love to go back in time and really put.

[Frank Alvarez]

You take your. Your best player, put it up against a Bryant High school Puerto Rican.

[Joe Santagato]

Those are your dad's legs, yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

Honestly, at the time. Honestly, I think this is at the

[Ant Prisco]

time he won it. These are my dad's legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I gotta be honest, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

And those are your dad's legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are some, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Your dad's legs are like Pierce Broman.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I'm not even kidding. I was thinking James Bond. Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Dude, your dad's got Mr.

[Ant Prisco]

Sexy Legs right there.

[Joe Santagato]

Damn. What beach is this?

[Ant Prisco]

It's a great question. I have no idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is a nice beach.

[Joe Santagato]

Honestly, the water looks gorgeous.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, those are really good. See?

[Joe Santagato]

And those are tan legs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Those are tan legs also, you know, there's a big pair of balls right up at the top.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, because this guy talks about his giant balls.

[Joe Santagato]

Probably in pain by the time he walked back from the water. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's getting out the ground, getting out the water, and he's just like, he's

[Ant Prisco]

going to hate I did this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm going to hate it. Well, they're not seeing his face, so no one's going to be able to put his alleged legend legs. They're not going to be able to put a name to the legs.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

A face to the legs.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's Mr. Sexy Legs.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, yeah, I'm not a cr. I don't know if I'm a cruise guy. I open. I've been very public in my disdain for the open ocean.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's not great. Also, if I'm on a cruise and you're telling me I can't go back to my room with food, the fuck are you gonna do?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, dude, what are you gonna do?

[Joe Santagato]

Realistic?

[Frank Alvarez]

I also imagine it's like, no, you also have to. I've never been on a cruise. I imagine it's not the greatest quality food. So, like, you're gonna be like, you're not taking this food back to your room. Like, you should be thankful that I'm taking this dog burger.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that cruises probably go out of their way to make sure the food's good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm sure at A certain level. But like.

[Joe Santagato]

Like the restaurants, like, at a certain.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because there are obviously tiers.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, there's no room service on a cruise?

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought it's like a hotel. Oh, that's a good question. Bring food into my home.

[Joe Santagato]

Fucking where?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know. I think they're saying, like, if you take it from the restaurant or the buffet or something and bring it back.

[Ant Prisco]

I guess because it's all inclusive.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's different tiers to, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, all inclusive? You can get room service.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, that would drive me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do me a favor. I mean, look it up right now. Look up all inclusive cruises and see what it includes. If. If it specifies that there' room service, I'm gonna be angry.

[Ant Prisco]

Those are two different services.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, just ask if cruises have room service.

[Frank Alvarez]

If it's all inclusive, everything better be included. It's in the name.

[Joe Santagato]

All incrusive. Shoot me with a gun. What does it say? He's panicking right now. Right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

I saw a video recently of someone taking, like, a bucket of something and dumping it over a cruise ship. And you just see what's around and it's like, terrifying.

[Joe Santagato]

Dude, what does that. What does that mean? Bucket of what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Food chum. I don't know, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

That could have meant anything. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Frank Alvarez]

What do you think I'm talking about? They're dumping a bucket of, like, human hair.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I just didn't know what you meant, but they were dumping stuff to, like, attract.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just showed you, like, what fucking got after it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, that's terrifying.

[Ant Prisco]

It says there's room service, but not. Not all items could be free, even in the all inclusive. It depends per cruise line. I think it's just more how you get charged extra if you have meat. Even on, like, the Korean, like, barbecue spots. Sometimes, you know, you have.

[Joe Santagato]

When you have meat at the Korean barbecue spot, you get charged.

[Ant Prisco]

Like, you get charged extra if you. If you order more meat and. But you didn't eat it because it's like.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Ant Prisco]

I think it's just kind of like that, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I'm going to an all inclusive and I get charged for anything extra. Burning that place to the ground.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Are you, like. When you go to hotels, do you take stuff?

[Frank Alvarez]

Take what? You take stuff?

[Joe Santagato]

I take what? Take what? Like, soaps?

[Frank Alvarez]

It depends. Like, so when we were doing our. Our last two rounds of shows, when we would go from like a hotel to an Airbnb, I would take soap. Because sometimes they're not well stocked. And if it was like a. Or if we were going from a hotel to another hotel, because hotels that give you this much body walks, huh? Body walk. Body walk. Come on. But, like, it depends. Like, when we went to the. In Toronto, the Nobu, they left, like, a thing of chocolate. I took that to bring it home. You know, like, I take. I take little trinkets to hotel chocolate's ass. I don't know if I've ever actually eaten it.

[Joe Santagato]

I've. I've eaten it sometimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like that place in particular gave me a edible Zen garden.

[Joe Santagato]

I. Bro, that was actually delicious.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was eating sand and raking it at the same time.

[Joe Santagato]

So when I went back for the World Series for a day, the Zen garden was there because they. They have. They. Oh. Because Greg was, like, talking to that hotel via email. It was like a new hotel at the time. So that person hit up Greg and was like, we saw Joe's video because I talked about the Zen garden. I thought it was a legit Zen garden. And then I found out in the video, and I was eating it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, they told me because, like, it came with a card that said what it was. You don't read.

[Joe Santagato]

Just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like. I'm not even kidding. It might have taken me seven seconds to figure it out.

[Joe Santagato]

The issue that I have with reading is if there's a picture, I'm just gonna go off of that. And it looked like a rake. Yeah, like, they gave me a rake, so what am I to believe?

[Ant Prisco]

What was it?

[Frank Alvarez]

It was. It was.

[Joe Santagato]

It was like.

[Ant Prisco]

What was that mean? Like, it was like graham cracker crumbs.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was like graham cracker crumbs. And like, there was like a. Like a thing of, like, you know, like a cream. It was like a cream cheese, but like a creme fraiche almost. And, like, interesting.

[Joe Santagato]

And the rocks look like real rocks, but they were chocolate.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Did it not look any form of edible?

[Joe Santagato]

Bro, it looked mad real.

[Frank Alvarez]

It looked very real. I think I could find a picture of it.

[Joe Santagato]

So they give you it and they give you a little rake, and I tried to rake it, and then I was like, this isn't rakeable. Because I thought it was just gonna be sand. So then I was like, oh, it's edible. Then I started reading. I was like, oh, shit is edible. And then I started eating it because there was a spoon, now that I think about it, And I just kind of ignored that. I was like, that's weird. Maybe they want me to dig a hole in this.

[Ant Prisco]

Someone left a spoon.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought it was because the whole

[Joe Santagato]

place is like very. It's like wood and it's like Nobu. So I thought it was just kind of like a. I don't know, some like over the top, luxurious little thing. And I was like, it's kind of ridiculous that I'm gonna sit here and like play in the sand. But it was edible. It was mad good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Trying to airdrop to you, but it's just waiting slack.

[Ant Prisco]

Why didn't you.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it was good.

[Joe Santagato]

But yeah, whenever I go to a hotel and they like leave a bit of chocolate, unlike your nightstander or your pillow, that chocolate's usually ass. Also chocolate on planes. Disgusting. When I was in Switzerland though. That was good chocolate. That was good chocolate.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is taking too long. The payoff is not actually. It's not going to be worth.

[Ant Prisco]

Honestly, I think you've ruined it.

[Joe Santagato]

I. The Swiss chocolate was good though.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, the Swiss know what they're doing with their chocolate.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And no, not crazy. Swiss cheese isn't my favorite.

[Joe Santagato]

I can't remember the last time I had Swiss cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I had a. I told you this. I told you I had a good day recently that just completely like. It was like aged. I still got some home off a piece. What are you gonna do about it?

[Joe Santagato]

Me? Nothing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Damn right you're not.

[Joe Santagato]

Why am I being threatened?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. If I was on a cruise and they said they were taking extra money because I took food back to my room, I am.

[Joe Santagato]

Now that I think about it. If I'm somewhere on a ship and I'm getting food and I take that back to my room, what am I doing? I mean, like, why? What am I going to bring my plate up there?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, sometimes people will and they'll eat the food. Like, they'll put it in their little fridge and like save it for later,

[Joe Santagato]

but would you do that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Brother, That's a fucking. Look at that.

[Joe Santagato]

I know.

[Ant Prisco]

It doesn't not look tasty, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

It was tasty.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was really good. It was like so like, it's like that crumble and then underneath it was like a cream cheese almost. And that little sign where it says Nobu Hotel. That's edible. Wow.

[Ant Prisco]

That's crazy.

[Joe Santagato]

I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what they're doing.

[Ant Prisco]

Look at that.

[Joe Santagato]

We're really giving a promo shot. If we do.

[Frank Alvarez]

If we do more a little bit.

[Ant Prisco]

Sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

My more Toronto shows. We got to stay there.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I mean, if they hear this, that'd be great. A little discount would be nice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Because some of the people that stayed there with us.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh yeah. The room service there. It is a very nice hotel though. But what are we talking about?

[Frank Alvarez]

Remember that bath Deep Fucker. Dude. It was like a wooden box. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I was slight my ass slit.

[Frank Alvarez]

It took like an hour for the water to fill up. It was. I'm like, not. That is not in the quality of the spout or the water flow, just how big it was.

[Joe Santagato]

Big fucking tub.

[Ant Prisco]

You ever been in those rooms where there's a hot tub kind of just in the middle of it?

[Joe Santagato]

When we were in like a honeymoon suite at a motel.

[Ant Prisco]

Not really, but like sorta the.

[Frank Alvarez]

The. What's it called? The hotel we stayed at when we did the Vegas show. It had. Oh yeah, it had like so like the bed was here. It was like the tv and then it was like a half wall and behind it was a tub.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And. But like it wasn't a tub. It was like a square. Square. But it went down like far. It was like four and a half feet deep.

[Joe Santagato]

It was. It was very horny.

[Ant Prisco]

It was.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was weird.

[Joe Santagato]

It was a very horny setup. Like literally like you're facing the wall and there's a section that's just open and you can see like part of the tub. So it's like, you know, someone could take a bath and you're watching TV and you're watching someone put soap on the boobs.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. It was lovely.

[Joe Santagato]

It's Vegas.

[Ant Prisco]

You do seem like the type that you would get caught in a situation where. Well, the only upgrade is the honeymoon suite.

[Joe Santagato]

Has that ever happened to me?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that happens in like movies in the 80s.

[Ant Prisco]

That's what I'm saying.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, we have left is the honeymoon.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

There. And the whole bed's a heart shaped. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like you look up and it's the. The mirror. The heart shaped mirror.

[Joe Santagato]

I honestly think that if I were to walk into a hotel room and it was like a honeymoon suite, I'd be like, this place is covered in jizz. Like I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Santagato]

I wouldn't want to live there.

[Frank Alvarez]

100. Yes.

[Joe Santagato]

When you really think about hotel rooms,

[Frank Alvarez]

that's why I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

You don't think about them.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think about it.

[Joe Santagato]

But it's like anywhere that's not your place.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That's why I don't think about it.

[Joe Santagato]

It's kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

We've been to Airbnbs and. And like there was one time where I was just like, oh, this is someone's bed.

[Joe Santagato]

Something happened in here when I When I was in London recently,

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't get the stink out of my.

[Joe Santagato]

It smells like burnt hot dog. It's crazy, but when I was in London recently, the. The room that I was staying in, there was like, pictures all over the wall. And it was like this girl who looked like she was 18 years old. And I'm like, am I laying in this girl's bed? Like, this is weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Like I'm in her bedroom.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, an Airbnb. It was an Airbnb, Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But that happened.

[Joe Santagato]

They looked American. Like, I think they were American. And they had. Having a place in London and you're American.

[Frank Alvarez]

Flex.

[Joe Santagato]

These people got money.

[Frank Alvarez]

Flex.

[Joe Santagato]

But I was like, this is so weird. I'm in someone's bed.

[Frank Alvarez]

You'll have it soon enough.

[Joe Santagato]

A place in London.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're a big enough Arsenal fan that you'll have a place in London. You'll have a flat.

[Joe Santagato]

I got a flat.

[Frank Alvarez]

Flat. And then you'll be like, oh, well, now I have to go at least three to four times a year to justify it.

[Joe Santagato]

I really liked it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could see Joey having a place like that. I might fuck it. I won't. I definitely won't. Why not? Why not? Let's do it together. Let's go halvesies on it. Split. Havesies is two.

[Ant Prisco]

I could.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's no three. There's no. There is no word for three people. It's habsies or threesies. No, they're.

[Ant Prisco]

I'll go threesies. I'll go two and a half C's.

[Joe Santagato]

He's gonna take.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's gonna take Mr. Sexy Legs's money. That's what he's gonna do. That's what he's going to.

[Ant Prisco]

It wasn't a cash prize.

[Joe Santagato]

He just said, you're gonna take your dad's money because you're broke. That was crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't say that. I was just. Right. First of all, I didn't say that. Second of all, don't fucking point at me now.

[Ant Prisco]

It's just halfies. He's out.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow. Yeah, do it, do it, do it and see what happens. What's gonna happen? I won't show up to a single one of these live shows that we're doing. And which show? Maybe I won't show up to the September 20th. September 10th, Durham, North Carolina. Maybe I won't show up to the September 12th, Charlotte, North Carolina. Or maybe the September 24th, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Or the September 26th, Indianapolis, Indiana.

[Joe Santagato]

What about the October 2nd show in. In fucking Charleston, South Carolina?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know what other one is next to that.

[Joe Santagato]

October 3rd, I think is Atlanta.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's so tough. But I'm really feeling like I'm in, like, a spiritual mood. So how about maybe I don't show up to the October 16th in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, you can't miss November 7th in Buffalo. What about that one?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I don't know. I think at that time I might be down south a couple weeks later at Balt. December 5th in Baltimore. Mar.

[Joe Santagato]

All right, but then you're gonna. It's gonna be cold down there at that time. Maybe you want to heat it up a little bit and go to Austin, Texas on December 10th.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a good idea. But on the drive, maybe we can hit a Buc EE's. Going to December 11th, Dallas, Texas.

[Joe Santagato]

And then we could also hit another Buc EE's. Two more Buc EE's on the way to Houston on December 13th.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not a bad idea. But you know what? That's a lot of traveling. I don't want to do all that. I'd rather just do January 15th, Newark, New Jersey.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, if you want to get real close to your house, then maybe we can go to February 5th, we go to Red Bank, New Jersey.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not a bad idea. But you know what? I am feeling a little, like, outdoorsy. Yeah. So like February 23rd and 24th in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

[Joe Santagato]

That could be cool. The day after my birthday, though, we're gonna have to go somewhere nice and warm. February 26th, maybe we go to LA.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. But you know what? That's all fun, but what's been really kind to us has been Chicago, Illinois on March 12th.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Theater.

[Joe Santagato]

And if you guys want to come, you guys can just go to the basementyard.com on Wednesday, June 17th at 12pm Noon Eastern. But pre sale code is basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

Joe. So worried that I was going to think that there was no pre sale code, but there isn't. It's base.

[Joe Santagato]

It's basement.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is basement.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay, so Wednesday, June 17th at noon. You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm afraid that it's just gonna be the same old show.

[Joe Santagato]

It's not the same old show, Frank. Actually, it's gonna be a brand new show and a lot more fun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Brand new show?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

The Newark one is my birthday show.

[Frank Alvarez]

What?

[Ant Prisco]

I'm January 16th. That's January 15th.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no one cares. No, that'll be fun. Wow. No, no birthday show for. For one of us.

[Ant Prisco]

Nerd.

[Joe Santagato]

You already had Two birds.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, wait, no, you did.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, you did.

[Frank Alvarez]

You had one. I was saying happy birthday to you at the Vancouver show the second year.

[Ant Prisco]

I wasn't there.

[Joe Santagato]

Did we?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you don't remember? It was a picture of you turning 40. It was like you with a cane and you were an old bastard.

[Joe Santagato]

Got it. I remember that now. Yeah. Well, there you have it, folks. But yeah, we're going back on tour. Really hope to see you guys out there. We're super excited. But like I said, Wednesday, June 17, noon Eastern, thebas.com so awesome. Thank you guys so much for always being supportive through Patreon, through watching this show and, you know, hopefully we'll see out there at our, our live shows. We're really excited to put on a good show for you guys. So thank you so much. Frank?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Where can they find you?

[Frank Alvarez]

Alvarez. No, I was going to say my email. The Frank Alvarez on social media.

[Joe Santagato]

What about you, Ant?

[Ant Prisco]

Do Ant Prisco on Instagram and you

[Joe Santagato]

guys can follow me at Joe Santigato and go follow the show at the basement yard on all forms of social media. That is all. See you out there on tour.