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Frank Alvarez
Welcome back to the basement.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Hello.
Frank Alvarez
Hello.
Joe Sanigato
Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, what are you doing?
Frank Alvarez
You know that was. Was it dribbling? That was me dribbling one more time.
Joe Sanigato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
But I'm.
Ant Prisco
Wow.
Frank Alvarez
That was poor dribbling on my part.
Joe Sanigato
Correct.
Frank Alvarez
I, you know, feeling good. Dribble wise. Nice dribbling. Dribbling and shooting.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
How are you? I'm good, Ant.
Frank Alvarez
You got a brand new shirt.
Joe Sanigato
So how are you doing?
Ant Prisco
I'm good. I'm feeling good.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Is that your. Is this the first wear?
Ant Prisco
It's not the first wear you wear.
Frank Alvarez
I will say this, you picked the hottest day of the year so far to wear the thickest knit shirt of. No, it's like you can kind of see.
Ant Prisco
You could see me.
Frank Alvarez
I could see you a little bit.
Ant Prisco
You could see me.
Frank Alvarez
I could see you too though. But I also know, I know thread counts and I know it's crazy. What?
Joe Sanigato
I've never seen his nipples.
Ant Prisco
Have you never seen my nipples?
Joe Sanigato
I've never seen your nipples.
Frank Alvarez
I don't think I've seen your nipples.
Ant Prisco
It's summer. Well, I'll nipple it up with you.
Joe Sanigato
I've never seen his nipples.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you've seen my nipples.
Ant Prisco
I've seen your nipples. I've seen nipples quite a bit.
Frank Alvarez
I hate my nipples.
Joe Sanigato
I know. I mean, you gotta more self help
Frank Alvarez
when you see my nipples. Do you also hate them with me? Like, is it a form of support?
Joe Sanigato
No.
Frank Alvarez
So actually this is a good question. I hate my nipples.
Joe Sanigato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
Do you hate my nipples with me as support for my mental approach and outlook on my nipples? Or do you like my nipples in order to pull me out of the hatred of my own nipples?
Joe Sanigato
I'm not gonna admit this self hate you have for your nose.
Frank Alvarez
It's not self hate. I love every other part of me this rectangular, you know. Oh, you're including all of it?
Joe Sanigato
I thought it was just the nipples.
Frank Alvarez
This area I hate. So like, what would we say this is what, like 13 inches by 3 inches? So what is that? 13 times 3 is.
Ant Prisco
You got it.
Frank Alvarez
39. 39 square inches of my body are my least favorite.
Joe Sanigato
Okay. Okay.
Frank Alvarez
So do you also dislike it with me?
Joe Sanigato
No.
Frank Alvarez
So you're all right, this is good to know because I've, you know, obviously I've made fun of you for a lot of things. So if you also don't like something about yourself, you want me to pull you out of it and reassure you that you shouldn't be upset about it instead of being like, yeah, also, yeah, Fuck that shit. Fuck your fucking stupid ass. You.
Joe Sanigato
A question? When your wife, if ever, has said something to you, like, hey, I'm feeling insecure about this thing. I don't really like this part about my body. What's your reaction?
Frank Alvarez
Because what you're expecting from me is probably not what you should be doing. I remind her that she is sculpted out of marble. She's a goddess among women and humans and however you choose to identify.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
So that's what I'm doing.
Frank Alvarez
But this is different.
Joe Sanigato
That's what I'm doing for you.
Frank Alvarez
This is different, though.
Joe Sanigato
How could but be.
Frank Alvarez
Because we're not a partner. We're not partners.
Joe Sanigato
And can we get a fact check on that?
Ant Prisco
Look that up.
Joe Sanigato
If we look up the Internet, they
Frank Alvarez
might tell us the opposite.
Ant Prisco
Are we counting areola or just the points?
Frank Alvarez
Nipple. Nipple counting areola.
Joe Sanigato
That's the whole.
Frank Alvarez
All right, so it's like the term vagina. It's everything that's going on in the wallet.
Ant Prisco
Got it.
Frank Alvarez
So you got the cards, you got the ice.
Joe Sanigato
The nipple and the areola are boys.
Frank Alvarez
They go together.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
But sometimes, like waba. Lava. Living belong. That's all. That's.
Joe Sanigato
That was Greece, wasn't it?
Ant Prisco
I'm gonna. Yep. Yeah. In a second. Yeah, but you know how, like, sometimes if your nipple's not hard, it's, like, all areola?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. That's my. That's why I'm.
Joe Sanigato
That's why I'm like.
Ant Prisco
That's why you're touching up.
Joe Sanigato
I'll give them a little.
Frank Alvarez
If you. I'm not kidding. When my shit's not hard, it's like Milk Dud. And I get pissed off because I love Milk Duds and I hate my nipples.
Joe Sanigato
Milk Duds are dark. Your shits aren't dark.
Frank Alvarez
Not that dark. But I'm just referencing in the kind of like molded. Rounded. Like rounded. Molded, you know.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, you're saying molded, like.
Frank Alvarez
Yes. Yeah. Like malleable. Malleable. I'm thinking. No. No, I don't have moldy tits. That's what I thought you said. No, I don't think. I don't have moldy. I don't think I have moldy titties.
Joe Sanigato
I hope not.
Ant Prisco
You got hair. You got hair around the nipple. Do you?
Frank Alvarez
I think I have weird, yo. My chest hair, first of all. God, as if this guy needed anything else. He's rich, he's good looking, he's athletic. You got good chest hair, dude.
Ant Prisco
I got.
Joe Sanigato
No, I actually do think I have a decent chest hair.
Frank Alvarez
I'M not kidding. I can count my chest hairs, like, by number, like, that's how little there are.
Joe Sanigato
That's him, Boo. His whole body.
Ant Prisco
Me too, but my whole thing. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, my leg hairs. Danny La Priori always used to tell me, always is a crazy thing to
Joe Sanigato
say every day of my life, that
Frank Alvarez
he would be astonished at how hairless I was. But. But, like, do you have hairless legs? No, the legs are hairy and the thigh, too.
Ant Prisco
But, like, you see my leg.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, your leg is insane, bro.
Ant Prisco
I don't. I can't.
Frank Alvarez
No, you got hair on your legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, as you. You got ashy knees, dude. What are you doing?
Ant Prisco
He needs.
Joe Sanigato
He needs lotion on those.
Frank Alvarez
You got to throw on. Where are you going? Oh, he's going to keep. Yo, it is crazy. What is that?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I got nothing.
Frank Alvarez
Also, am I seeing.
Joe Sanigato
I could see your pores from here, I think, bro.
Ant Prisco
I know. I got nothing.
Joe Sanigato
That's crazy.
Frank Alvarez
Good for you, man. Honestly, though, are you excited about that? That's why you were able to tread water for so long hair. You're like Phelps. You're hairless and you're a rat.
Ant Prisco
Well, it was more because Joe bet me I could do if you.
Frank Alvarez
No, but you're built for the water.
Ant Prisco
I am built for the water.
Joe Sanigato
Absolutely.
Ant Prisco
A little amphibious.
Frank Alvarez
Can you dive? Well, sure.
Joe Sanigato
That doesn't say it's not. Yes.
Frank Alvarez
Off a diving board.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Where.
Frank Alvarez
Where else are you?
Ant Prisco
Because you can. You could dive off a cliff. I've done that. You could dive off.
Frank Alvarez
I think if you're able to dive off of a cliff, you could dive off and just dive.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, I'm good at diving.
Frank Alvarez
You. I remember watching you dive and you would, like, frog leg it sometimes.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And you would frog leg it, but you made it look good. Again with your chest hair, you fuck, no.
Joe Sanigato
But one time I dove and Nicole took a video and I was like, yo, that's the best dive I've ever seen. I mean, for me, not in my life, but.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, yeah.
Joe Sanigato
But a lot of time not like a really good diver, to be honest.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I'm not brave. Well, give me your best three jumps in the water. Like that. Possibly you could do that. Your best. Like, if someone was like, yo, we're doing a jumping in the water contest. Oh, which things would I bring? Your three, you're on the podium. Jumps in the water.
Joe Sanigato
Okay. I would attempt a dive because when I can get it right, I just got to be like, mentally.
Frank Alvarez
So you're playing that you're taking the gambler.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, I'm going to gamble that well. I don't have a lot of big arsenal here.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you got a good amount.
Joe Sanigato
I don't think so. I would do that. Then I'd probably do. I think I could do, like, a decent front flip.
Frank Alvarez
That's a tough one, because high risk, high reward. Again, because you land straight on your back. That's going to hurt so bad.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, usually you land on kind of your butt.
Joe Sanigato
Yo, I wish I could do a gainer. I think that's the fucking coolest thing in the world, dude.
Frank Alvarez
Our friend Dennis used to do a gainer, and it was. I'm not kidding what I imagined, like. Like deep impact would have been like, he would hit the water, and it was like, yeah, some people are good at that.
Joe Sanigato
Yo, Keith can hit a jackknife hard body.
Ant Prisco
Wait, wait, wait.
Frank Alvarez
Which one? Now, see, because different jumps have different names across you, like, jump, and, like, it's hold the knee spin.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, you, like, hold your one knee.
Frank Alvarez
I thought that was gainer. Which one is Gator's?
Joe Sanigato
When you're running and you flip back.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you're doing a shooting star press.
Ant Prisco
Yes.
Frank Alvarez
Like you're Evan Bourne. Yes. Jesus. Billy Kidman.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, dude. Like, those are sick.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I didn't. I didn't realize that's what you meant by gainer. Dude, if I could do a gainer, I wouldn't shut up about it, bro.
Joe Sanigato
If I could backflip, I would. I. I mean, this is when we get into Benson Boone territory. I get it. Because if I was that, I'd be. I'd be doubling.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. But you know what, though? It's gotten to the point, like, he got so famous so fast that he needs to chill, because if he keeps doing the backflip, it's just gonna take one person to see him fall. They get the ick because he'll be singing and backflip, and then he'll like,
Joe Sanigato
what the hell was that?
Ant Prisco
Is that a ribbit?
Joe Sanigato
Like, what was that?
Frank Alvarez
He'll make, like, a weird yelping. Oh, I'll be like, yo, like, this guy.
Joe Sanigato
Nah, bro.
Frank Alvarez
I think that no one ever made a noise. No one of the opposite sex ever made a noise. And you're just, like, ill. Like a.
Joe Sanigato
Like a girl made a noise.
Frank Alvarez
Like a grunt or something. Was that. Yeah, you never see.
Joe Sanigato
Nothing stands out at the moment.
Frank Alvarez
But I think that, like, if I'm
Joe Sanigato
Benson Boone and someone's like, oh, my God, backflip. Ick. I'd Be like, hey, man, super successful, athletic, and I got a great voice. I'm chilling.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. You know what? Benson Moon has never done so that msg, has he? Actually,
Joe Sanigato
by the way, if he hasn't easily Good.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, probably. But all right, so no, no pencil dive in there. Oh, pencil. That was. That was another one pencil. I could pencil dive.
Joe Sanigato
I'm good at it.
Frank Alvarez
Like dropping an actual pencil into water.
Joe Sanigato
You can.
Frank Alvarez
I'm very, very good.
Joe Sanigato
Point your toes down.
Frank Alvarez
You have to.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, okay. So that's where I make a mistake because.
Frank Alvarez
But also, a good pencil dive doesn't go straight down. It. It curves. Like, you need to curve with it because it's. You just cut through the water better.
Joe Sanigato
I like that. But I have jumped from a distance and I hit my feet on the water so hard that I got like a belly flop on the bottom of my feet.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
And I just got stinging feet.
Frank Alvarez
I struggle with if I should include belly flop in my top 10 water jumps. You're good at that, dude. I am so. Because you know how I am. I commit to the bit. So, like, belly flops and just let it go. Like, let it go. Like, I'm just Scott St. You know what I mean? Like, off the building.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
You're gonna go elsa or something. Did you ever jump into a pool and your trunks came off?
Frank Alvarez
A bunch of times.
Ant Prisco
Really?
Joe Sanigato
Oh, the beach has. Has taken my trunks. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Beaches sucked your.
Joe Sanigato
That's a. Yeah, a wave just like, sucked my pants off.
Frank Alvarez
We used to. You know, when we would tube at
Joe Sanigato
the lake, we had my pants came up, bro. My dick was dragging against the surface of that water.
Frank Alvarez
I'm not kidding.
Joe Sanigato
And his dad was driving the boat and I'm hanging off the back and my pants just, like, immediately shot to my ankles.
Frank Alvarez
And my raw dick is getting beat up, by the way. Yo, I have spent more time raw dicking that lake during tubing than I've been ever inside of a woman.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I've spent more time, bro. We would go, like, anytime we would tube because we were nuts with it. You remember? We would go. We would go three tubes at once jump. And it was the most fun when someone would miss and their pants would fly off. But we had a. The big banana boat. You remember the banana boat, too?
Joe Sanigato
I do, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And what we would do is we would kneel. There would be six of us at a time. Three would kneel on the sides and one person on the back and. And yo, water is powerful, dude.
Joe Sanigato
It's so hard.
Frank Alvarez
It fucking. It will take your shit and send it to fucking China.
Joe Sanigato
Dude, honestly, I'm not kidding. There was one time I fell off the back of this tube and I'm holding on my pants shot to my ankles and it felt like my dick was being stretched all the way back
Frank Alvarez
to my feet like a tail. Because like you look at the wake of a, of a, of a boat when you're in, when you're tubing and when you get to that, like you're about to go outside the wake, there's like the gobbles and bubbles like going like this. So like when you're on that edge of the wake and your dick is just getting beat like it is.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, and money, it's cutting your dick down the hole.
Frank Alvarez
Like, yo, like, imagine being dragged so weekly. It's been a lot of dick.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, bro, we're going to get more of it too.
Frank Alvarez
We don't, we don't. This is very real to us, bro. Like, I'm not kidding. My balls have gotten mashed too. I've often, I've spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to get dragged by horse. And I know because I've been dragged by boat and tube.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah, I've been dragged by your Colombian father.
Frank Alvarez
Also, a lot of people when they're
Joe Sanigato
driving, especially children, drive the boat like this, right?
Frank Alvarez
Like the boat goes this way and you're hitting like waves and people go like this. Yo, my dad was driving his like this. It's just, it's just like you're all
Joe Sanigato
over the place also, like, oh my God, bro, I get so scared, dude.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, honestly, my dad was a. About driving. It was Espo's dad and his grandfather that like. Yeah, I mean, you know what Espo's dad looks like? The dude is tatted, both arms. He's got a thick mustache. He's got a, a spider web, a spider web, spider web.
Joe Sanigato
This guy's taking children tubing. I'm getting launched in the air, my balls are mashed.
Frank Alvarez
And he's going what felt like 500 miles per hour.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Chomping on a cigar, looking like, looking back every five minutes to realize someone has fallen. Yeah. And like you when you would get fucking, you're hanging on like this and it's. You're crying, laughing because you see the person hanging on and like just let go. Yeah, like you just let go, but holding on to their shorts and their dick. Dude, imagine if you just skull fucked a fucking bowl of marbles. Like it. Shit is just getting beat to fucking death.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, it's really insane. And I'm. I have like a bunch of cuts. One time I fell off and I headbutt someone so hard that I like, hit whatever. And then as they went to come pick me up, the boat drove by and Espo's dad, like, called me a. Or something and I was like, damn near died in your lake.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy, but it's
Joe Sanigato
a lovely upbringing, to be honest.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. So I'm also going cannonball. Cannonball is a classic that I'm pretty confident at this point.
Joe Sanigato
When you go cannonball, right? When you jump into water and you do a cannonball, are you like one of those people that like, crosses their legs and like, faces forward or do you lean?
Frank Alvarez
No, I. I kind of. Honestly, like, I go up and I like, you know, like, I like, kind of go on my back.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
And I feel like I'm. You could push it down. I can push it.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Which I know I can't, so.
Joe Sanigato
Your asshole.
Frank Alvarez
You know, if you put it like that. Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Cuz I've done that. I'm. All jokes aside, I don't know why you got your guy done a cannonball so hard. And I don't know if it was the gravity that day, but it legitimately hurt the rim of my asshole.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, I'm not kidding. When I was younger, I don't know why my asshole would just suck in water randomly. Do you remember that shit? It'd be like. Just randomly, like.
Joe Sanigato
Okay, what do you mean? How would I remember your asshole movement?
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you did it.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, my butt was getting water. Oh, of course.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, bro, you jump into water or stay in water long enough, you're fucking. It's gonna get in your. It's like. It's actually kind of a good day.
Joe Sanigato
I think my butt kind of probably talks with excitement. Like when I get really hyped, it's like.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah,
Ant Prisco
that's the thing. If you jump high enough. High enough with a cannonball, water will
Frank Alvarez
shoot up, which, I mean, like, it's not filling me off, but you are kind of like animanizing your butt a little bit. Like, if anything, you're cleaning your out a little bit.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. It's probably a net positive.
Frank Alvarez
And one of the few things I Learned from meeting Dr. Mike is there's so many sphincters that, like, it's not gonna be dangerous, dude.
Joe Sanigato
No, no, no.
Frank Alvarez
You're not like pressure washing your. But you're getting in there and you're Cleaning the walls.
Joe Sanigato
No tubing. You're pressure washing.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, I can't even begin to express how much time we've spent tubing your gets. Like. Like, I imagine, like if you took someone's dick and, like, put it on those old timey washboards that they used in, like, the Oregon Trail.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. And it's. It's just. Honestly, it's just not funny, to be honest.
Frank Alvarez
I'll tell you this, though. We beat monetization into a bloody pulpit.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
It's over. At this point, just gonna let it run.
Frank Alvarez
There is no way that we're getting it, dude.
Joe Sanigato
But what a good time. But, yeah, man. I remember jumping in and I got. Keith always makes fun of me because I didn't even think about what I was saying. But I jumped into our pool and I came out of the water. I was like, yo, that hurt my so bad.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, dude.
Joe Sanigato
You know? Or like, if you jump off. One time I jumped off a boat and landed in water, but I like. I like, landed like, I was like, sitting on the ground or something, bro. Clapped my whole ass. Clapped my balls.
Frank Alvarez
My hands, yo. Your was clapped a hundred.
Joe Sanigato
My whole. Was like, beat to hell.
Frank Alvarez
Was anyone around when your shit was getting clapped?
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, dude, I was in Connecticut.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, wow.
Joe Sanigato
I was jumping off Espos boat.
Frank Alvarez
People watching you get your shit. Like we used to do.
Joe Sanigato
Dude.
Frank Alvarez
We used to do something called the drop off, where. Oh, I've done this. You remember that shit? So we all.
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Frank Alvarez
Oh, you've never been to the lake house. We all. Everyone had docks. And what Espo's dad would do when he would take a stupid. Because, bro, big boat, big wake. Went fast.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And what he would do is it would be sometimes a little difficult to him to pull into the dock by himself to grab the whips and everything to, like, you know, kind of tie up on the cleats. He would just. So he would come if this was the dock, he would drive and just turn right here and it would whip the tubes. So we knew it was coming. So we would let go and you would skate off the bro. Skip off the water like a rock. Yeah, and, like, there were times that, like, if you got a bad angle, you rolled over with it and, like, your butt was getting blasted.
Ant Prisco
When I used to fall off tubes. And it's like pretending that you got hit really hard by, like, a character and you're, like, bouncing off the wall, like.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Do you want to hear something that is so me coded?
Joe Sanigato
Oh, God, I'm gonna be so happy about this.
Ant Prisco
That almost went through the table.
Frank Alvarez
When we were, like, 12 years old, bro, we would go tubing three times a day. Which now. If I went tubing now, one time a day, I'm done for three days. Yeah, we would go tubing three times a day, and at the end of every tubing session, I'd be like, good ride, boys.
Joe Sanigato
Yo, you suck.
Frank Alvarez
Good ride, boys.
Joe Sanigato
See, before Vin Diesel, there was him. You know what I'm saying? He's like, yo, we're family.
Frank Alvarez
There was never me. I've never existed in the world before Vin Diesel. You kidding me? Although I've never seen a fast movie.
Joe Sanigato
You've never seen any of the Fast and Furious movies?
Ant Prisco
Never. What?
Joe Sanigato
How did you even. How did you.
Frank Alvarez
I've never seen a minute of a single one of them. Unless, like, there's, like, a clip of something even.
Ant Prisco
Tokyo Drift.
Frank Alvarez
None. Zero.
Joe Sanigato
Wow.
Frank Alvarez
That seems like the one I'd watch because of Bow Wow. But I didn't watch that one. Yeah, I didn't watch any of them. Pretty sure it's Bow Wow. No, I didn't. I didn't see that one.
Joe Sanigato
What song?
Frank Alvarez
Which is that?
Ant Prisco
Drift? I'll have to say. I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, no, but I. I refused. I refused because we had known someone that got hit by a drag racer. So it was like my standing up for what was right to not watch any of those movies.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, damn. I saw, like, five of them.
Frank Alvarez
So you're a piece of shit. To his family in his memory.
Ant Prisco
Okay. Those movies made billions of dollars.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, obviously. I mean, I think, like, the. They have jumped the shark at this point in time to my understanding, where it's like Ludacris is driving a car in space.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. Like, it's like, let's. How do we get this Pontiac gt? Is that a good car? That's a piece of shit.
Frank Alvarez
That's an old. I don't think Pontiac even exists anymore. I don't know. It's like, we got a Dodge Charger, you know.
Joe Sanigato
Gotta land it.
Ant Prisco
It's A space car.
Frank Alvarez
We're gonna drive this Dodge Charger into a rocket and it's gonna attach with the rubber. That's my Vin Diesel.
Ant Prisco
That was Sylvester Stallone.
Frank Alvarez
I think that is also him too. I feel like. Yeah, that was.
Joe Sanigato
That also sounded like you. But mid burp.
Frank Alvarez
Was the vessel stall always here. That's my Sylvester Stallone.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Do an impression of anyone. Don't sit there and just be critical of mine.
Joe Sanigato
I don't. I don't.
Ant Prisco
I have any.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
You're.
Ant Prisco
You're. Yeah, you get him.
Frank Alvarez
No, you get him.
Ant Prisco
Now, you could do Godfrey pretty good. Who?
Frank Alvarez
Gilbert Gottfried.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, you do Godfrey pretty good.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, what do I say?
Frank Alvarez
You don't remember.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, I do, but I can't.
Frank Alvarez
Something wrong with. Is something.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah. What is he. I need a line.
Frank Alvarez
Line. He's got no lines.
Ant Prisco
Oh, I thought you were.
Frank Alvarez
You're the computer guy. What does that just make something look up. Famous Gilbert Godfrey lines.
Joe Sanigato
No, it's fine. Don't worry.
Frank Alvarez
Although he had some.
Ant Prisco
Never mind.
Frank Alvarez
I'm not even gonna do that.
Joe Sanigato
You know what we do have? We have some sponsors for today.
Frank Alvarez
Sponsors for today.
Joe Sanigato
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Not bad. The first one.
Joe Sanigato
The first one that we have here
Frank Alvarez
is read the whole ad as Gilbert Godfrey.
Ant Prisco
Don't.
Frank Alvarez
No, I'm not.
Ant Prisco
No, no, don't do that, please.
Joe Sanigato
Squarespace, though,
Frank Alvarez
make it a website. A space that square. Squarespace. It is a website where you can build your website.
Joe Sanigato
So if you make content or you have some sort of, you know, e commerce business or something like that, you can get started on Squarespace. They're going to help you build your website and also help you run a very functional website. They have all the data and all these tools that are going to help you optimize the traffic and everything else you need to run a successful website. The best part about it, in my opinion, is that they have templates that will populate a professional looking website literally with the click of a button. You just have to swap out all the text and whatnot. All the information, obviously, and you can get that up and running in a very quick amount of time. I think they're the best platform that does this type of thing. So I would definitely recommend them to you guys. We've used them so many times before in the past, and we still continue to use Squarespace for stuff. So right now you can head to squarespace.com basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code Basement. Okay, again, that is squarespace.com basement. And you will get 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code. Basement. All right. And we also have this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. They're the biggest therapy platform in the world. They have over 30,000 licensed therapists. It's like I said, it's the world's largest online therapy platform. Average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars. I think that everyone should be in therapy. I myself have been in therapy for a long time now. I don't even know how long. And I think it's lovely.
Ant Prisco
I do it every week.
Joe Sanigato
It's amazing. And you don't need to do it every week. You can kind of do it, you know, bi weekly or sporadically, whenever you feel like you do. But I do think it's. It's beneficial to everyone, not just people who are going through some traumatic thing or whatever. It's just. It's like going to the gym for your mind. But if you want to get started with therapy, you can do so and you can save some money. You could save 10% off@betterhelp.com basemeyard okay? That is B E T T E R h e l p.com basementyard to. Yeah, get that 10% off. So go sign up. Go enjoy it.
Frank Alvarez
Betterhelp.com basementyard I have another website for you. Actually, I have plenty.
Ant Prisco
What's your.
Frank Alvarez
You like the Lemon Party one, right? Not going to do that. But I have a really good one for patreon.com/the basement yard. Oh, my God. What? The best way to support us. One of my favorite things to do and one of our ways. Or you can get more of us and sooner of us. What? Patreon.com Basement Yards the subscription service on Patreon where you can go, you can take a look, you can gander, and you can be like, oh, what's that right there? Oh, that's that first tier. That's where you get those weekly episodes in advance. That's cool. That second tier.
Joe Sanigato
Oh.
Frank Alvarez
Not only do we get those two weekly episodes one week in advance, we also get exclusive episodes every single Friday. That's beautiful. That's crazy. And if you don't love it, blame Ann. Okay. Patreon.com yard Seriously, you guys have been so unbelievably supportive. I think last we saw that, we were like fifth in the world for overall patrons or podcasts or something like that. That's because of the love and support that you guys have. Showed us. So if you took. If you've never been a patron and you want to check it out, go to patreon.com the basement yard or if you want to come back, you can give it a, a gift, whatever you want to do. Patreon.com the Basementyard we love you guys. We thank you guys so much. And while you're doing, if you want to save yourself a couple extra bucks, do it on a web browser. If you go on an app, you'd have to pay a little extra because of like fees and smart pod app stuff and all that nonsense. I don't even know. So. Patreon.com the basementyard and if you're seeing this on Patreon a week early on Patreon, which is what we tell you, you could do if you got that first tier or that second tier or any other tier after the first, you'll know that on June 17th. Yeah, the pre sale for the new basement yard shows is going up. Pre sale code basement. Go to the basementyard.com and take a look. We might be coming to a city near you. There's a bunch of cities on here. North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas shows. You're going to want to check it out. So on June 17th at 12pm Eastern through June 18th at midnight using the pre sale code basement. You can get your tickets now if you're seeing this the week after that. This has gone public on YouTube and is no longer exclusive just to Patreon. There might be some tickets still available. So still go to the basementyard.com and check it out. We're really excited. We're putting together a show that is going to be so fun and it's gonna be a good time. So. Patreon.com thebasemanyard and the basement yard.com for those pre sale tickets with the pre sale code Basement. If I keep talking, Ant can't crack his drink.
Ant Prisco
I know.
Frank Alvarez
So I'm just gonna keep talking. I'm just gonna keep going.
Ant Prisco
I've been, I've been waiting. I didn't want to interrupt because I got yelled at last time.
Frank Alvarez
What's the longest you think you can talk uninterrupted, like filibuster style? Also great name for something.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Like,
Joe Sanigato
yeah, that was loud as hell.
Ant Prisco
So loud.
Joe Sanigato
How long could I talk straight?
Frank Alvarez
Like because we, we were talking before about cameo and Cameo. It's a lot of times it could only be like 30 sec. It has to be like 30 seconds or it could be longer than that and stuff like that. How Long. Do you think you can go? Like, if you really wanted to talk
Ant Prisco
non stop bringing up we both have Cameo is crazy.
Frank Alvarez
I said I had a plug. I didn't say anything about your camera. Way to plug it.
Ant Prisco
You plug her.
Joe Sanigato
That feels like a slur.
Frank Alvarez
Definitely hard R after two. That was crazy. Could we call.
Ant Prisco
Can we call someone?
Joe Sanigato
Josh, leave that in.
Frank Alvarez
Leave it in.
Joe Sanigato
Destroy him.
Frank Alvarez
Get someone else in here. Get someone else in here.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, no, that was crazy. A hard R right there is wild. What are we talking about? Oh, how long can I talk?
Frank Alvarez
You know what's funny? If that was me, I'd be like, guys, seriously, should we take that out? You'd both be like, no, you're fine. How long can you talk filibuster style until you have fully filled your bust?
Joe Sanigato
Those are two separate questions. I think, like, if I'm going for it and it's like, I have to. I'm trying to go for as long as I possibly can. Yeah. And what's a. What constitutes as, like, a break? Like, can I stop and, like, think of what I'm gonna say if you
Frank Alvarez
stop for more than 10 seconds?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
No.
Frank Alvarez
If you stop for more than. Let's go five seconds. That's a break.
Ant Prisco
That.
Frank Alvarez
What are the rules? Can you do me a favor? Look up. Because there are actual rules to. How long is there. Yeah, filibuster is a real thing.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, they just read Dr. Seuss sometimes.
Frank Alvarez
What? Yeah, they always read Dr. Seuss or
Ant Prisco
books up there just to, what, buy time?
Frank Alvarez
Did you ever see the. What's it called? The. The Parks and Rec.
Joe Sanigato
Hold on. I. I'm gonna need an explanation.
Frank Alvarez
So in the United States, I don't know if it's Congress or the Senate or what have you. If they want to basically prolong a vote, they will do something called a filibuster where they will not relinquish their time, and they'll literally stop. They'll talk unbroken until people finally give it and are basically like, whatever. Let's just table the whole conversation to another time. Because they don't want it to be like the vote's gonna go against them. I think. Didn't Cory Booker just do, like, a legendary one?
Ant Prisco
I'll look that up. But just further explanation. It's because the Senate allows for an unlimited debate. Like, there's no cap. Right. So people just go up there to extend the voting, like you said, by just reading books or just talking forever.
Joe Sanigato
What a stupid and childish thing.
Ant Prisco
Yes, Yes.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you're. Now we're talking American politics. That's a whole other thing. But yeah, yeah, it was ridiculous.
Joe Sanigato
So it's like, well, then I'll just annoy you.
Frank Alvarez
That's literally like, okay, well, being a little, little, little.
Joe Sanigato
I guess we'll just talk forever.
Frank Alvarez
Catty little bitch.
Joe Sanigato
Wow. Not very long. What's long? Like, I could probably do, like, 40 minutes.
Ant Prisco
That's.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, that is long.
Joe Sanigato
I've done it before, like I said.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, we are in a world where we do podcasting, so especially if
Joe Sanigato
I can, like, prepare stuff that I could. I could go way longer than 40 minutes.
Frank Alvarez
I don't think preparing. I think the whole point of it is that it's not prepped. I think the idea is that, like, they're just going and going and going and going. It needs. I imagine there needs to be some form of coherence. Like, you can't just be up there and just be like,
Joe Sanigato
Right. I think that it's like, I could think about it for a little bit before then. I could probably do it because I used to do podcasts by myself, and those were like, 35, 40 minutes.
Frank Alvarez
I did. I remember one time I did a podcast by myself, and I had you help me, like, edit it.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And we were both like. That was nonsensical. Like, it was just like, it was about a thing.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, it was just, like. It got point where, like, you just go down tangents and paths and you lose it. Which is ironic because that's kind of what we do now.
Joe Sanigato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
But at the time, I was just like, oof. That wasn't good.
Ant Prisco
Booker's speech. The longest filibuster was 25 hours and five minutes.
Joe Sanigato
He talked for that long?
Ant Prisco
Yeah. Of 200 plus pages of prepared material. Nope, I lied. 1164 pages of prepared material. But 200 stories about stuff. It was just, like, long, fun fact.
Frank Alvarez
Could you talk? No shots for 25 hours?
Joe Sanigato
No way. I don't care about anything that much.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, that's not true. You care about your family.
Joe Sanigato
You care about your job to a degree.
Frank Alvarez
I. I think 25 hours is crazy.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. I don't. I, like, I. I don't even know how that's possible.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you just talk at points. It just goes off on tangents. Like, you'll start talking about politics, and you'll be in there about, like, Smokey the Bear or something.
Joe Sanigato
But.
Frank Alvarez
But
Joe Sanigato
physically, I don't even know that's possible, because sometimes we come in here and we have to record two episodes, and then we record videos, and by the time I get home, my voice is like, horse. Course. Horse.
Frank Alvarez
Horse.
Joe Sanigato
It's horse.
Frank Alvarez
Horse.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
You got a horse in your throat.
Joe Sanigato
What's coarse?
Frank Alvarez
Coarse is like when something is, like, fine. No, that's more. When it's more like, course is the opposite of fine.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Horse.
Ant Prisco
Sand. Right.
Frank Alvarez
Course gets everywhere.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
If you could tell me where that's from, I will give you.
Joe Sanigato
Say it how the character says it.
Ant Prisco
Exactly. Give them the location. No, not the location.
Frank Alvarez
I hate sand. It's dry. I'm butchering it here to some degree. I hate sand. It's dry, it's coarse, and it gets everywhere.
Joe Sanigato
That sounds so familiar.
Frank Alvarez
It is quite. I know it's from something you have seen.
Ant Prisco
You've definitely animated. Nope.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Face.
Joe Sanigato
Okay. I hate sand. It's coarse. It's sandy.
Frank Alvarez
And it gets something. It's coarse, and it gets everywhere.
Ant Prisco
It's popular as being a bad line
Frank Alvarez
in this movie and in an arguably bad movie, but people have since come around and said, like, no, it's actually really good.
Joe Sanigato
Is it the movie where the guy's like, I cannot.
Frank Alvarez
The room.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
No, that.
Frank Alvarez
That has some bad line delivery, though.
Joe Sanigato
Okay. What is it?
Frank Alvarez
You're my favorite customer. Hello, puppy. Star Wars Episode 2, Attack of the Clones.
Joe Sanigato
I would have never gotten that.
Frank Alvarez
Why? I was astonished. And I would have offered you a lot at all. But so you. What's the longest, you think? Because you just did the Modern wisdom.
Joe Sanigato
I did.
Frank Alvarez
You guys talked for a while?
Joe Sanigato
We did talk. We talked for 2 hours and 45 minutes, and I talked a lot there. And then after that, I was so tired. Me and Greg went to, like, a nice dinner, and the. The waitress was, like, trying to be nice, and she was like, oh, so you guys, like, into, like, are you guys from around here? Like, oh, no, we're from New York. And, like, oh, you in town, like, doing, like, going to any comedy shows? Because I guess, like, the comedy scene there is, like, why everyone's there. And I was like, just. I didn't say this, but in my head, I'm like, just the bread. Just the bread. Because I was so tired.
Frank Alvarez
What about you? What's the longest you think you have, like, done podcasting?
Ant Prisco
I think I could go. I go for a place.
Frank Alvarez
Mario Kart for a week.
Ant Prisco
The subathons.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but a lot of it's this. Yeah, but I'm gonna beat you, bitch.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. At night when, like, everything's winding down, we have, like, slumber parties and, like, no. Like, usually now.
Frank Alvarez
Who's the Plugger. I didn't, I didn't say the name.
Ant Prisco
Hit him. Hit him with him. Something.
Frank Alvarez
No, we need him. Hang up. We need me. Thank you.
Ant Prisco
So, like, I could go for hours.
Frank Alvarez
What the hell?
Ant Prisco
Wow. I didn't plug anything, I think because
Frank Alvarez
I've done a 24 hour stream and I talked.
Joe Sanigato
Oh my God.
Frank Alvarez
The whole. I've done two 24 hour streams and I talked, brother. Yeah, I'm sure there were parts where I was just like. But for the most part I remained animated, bro.
Joe Sanigato
A 24 hour stream with you now would be bonkers.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
It's.
Ant Prisco
It's actually easier because you usually have people bringing stuff up and talking to you.
Frank Alvarez
Well, yeah, to the chat. And like, honestly, at times, like the times where I thought it was going to be the hardest is when the most activity was happening. Like 4am like there was like a thousand people in there or something.
Joe Sanigato
Really?
Frank Alvarez
I think I peaked at like 1100 people.
Joe Sanigato
Well, I guess at that time it's like, if you're up, there's. There's like only a few things you can do.
Frank Alvarez
I also had a lot of tea. Like, I remember like ripping pisses. I mean, I. There was a. Like those mornings I was like. I took like bathroom breaks and stuff like that. Because yeah, you have to.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
You.
Frank Alvarez
There's physically. No way.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah.
Joe Sanigato
You got a crap and peep.
Frank Alvarez
You got pimping.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
But yeah, man. Oh my God. I. I guess I haven't realized that.
Joe Sanigato
What does that feel like? Like when you're. When you're at hour 24 and you're like ending. Are you like.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I did it straight 24 hours. The way that you guys do it is crazy where it's just like every donation will do an extra 10 minutes and then people are sending donations. So it lasts a week long.
Ant Prisco
Thirteen days was the last one.
Joe Sanigato
That is sickening.
Frank Alvarez
And you didn't you say that like it had to end because you guys had a wedding.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. But they decided to gather together and go, we're gonna make them miss the wedding. So we had to, we had to stop it.
Frank Alvarez
I love that. Yeah, I love that. It was. I remember very clearly I did it to like pay back the money that was fronted for me to get the equipment. And I said like, if we get to that financial goal, then I'll do a 24 hour stream. The first I really believe I broke it up into my feeling was like eight hours. Those first eight hours I was just like gung ho so about it. I was fun, I was happy. I Was playing video games. Those middle eight hours, it was like, holy shit. And then those last eight hours, it was like. It kind of worked back toward it.
Joe Sanigato
And then, because you're, like, getting used to the. Yo, it's almost over.
Frank Alvarez
And then I. I remember. I don't know if it was the first one or the second one, but the Yankees were playing in game one of the ALCS against the Astros. So, like, I, like, went out after we finished. I, like, had champagne and I started drinking.
Joe Sanigato
After being awake for 24 hours?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I started drinking and Becca found me, like, passed out, but, like, not the passed out. Like, I remember falling asleep. Like, I was, like, watching. And then I remember her waking me up.
Joe Sanigato
Right. You're probably so tired.
Frank Alvarez
I. I'll have to find it. I had taken a picture of my eyes.
Joe Sanigato
Why?
Frank Alvarez
Because you were all fucked up.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, dude, there's nothing worse than that. I mean, even in la, like, I had. When we were just in la, I had trouble sleeping there because of, like, the time difference, I guess. And, like, I always get up at the same time. So out there, I'm three hours early. So I'm, like, wired at like 5am or 4am and then it's just like, the effect that not sleeping has on you is, like, insane. Because I. I usually get, you know, seven and a half hours at least.
Frank Alvarez
I know it's probably not a great thing, but I'm. I operate really well off, like, five and a half to six hours.
Joe Sanigato
I used to rip four hours when I was younger all the time and
Frank Alvarez
be chilling beginning of the year when I was, like, pretty aggressively, like, going to the gym and stuff. I was going to sleep at 11, 10, 30, 11, and I was waking up at 4.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
You know, which is like, I think is not good.
Joe Sanigato
I mean, you probably, like. I do appreciate how, like, that puts you down earlier.
Frank Alvarez
Yes.
Joe Sanigato
But, dude, when I was younger, though, dude, and just like, we would be up all night playing Xbox. I would be up till like 3am, go to school. Same shit, dude.
Frank Alvarez
I used. We used to stay up till like 4 or 5. And I remember in college, very specifically, having an 8am class and being like, sun's out.
Joe Sanigato
This is crazy, bro. It was so good. Or sometimes I'd be like. Like, I think maybe that's why I'm such a good sleeper. Because when I was younger, I would be in. Me and Keith shared a room. And, like, I would go to sleep and Keith would be up telling people to suck his dick on Halo.
Frank Alvarez
So I, like, through that boy was He.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, he was going crazy. My mom sometimes would come in there. That was my favorite when my. When it woke my mom up, which I don't know how it didn't. Every night. Because he was mad about something. Yo, my mom used to come in there and lose it.
Frank Alvarez
It was. It was hysterical because you would just hear Keith, oh, motherfucker.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
He says shit. And then you would hear your mom because it was before, like, it was before the technology where it was, like, you really only heard the person speaking into them.
Joe Sanigato
Hear the whole room.
Frank Alvarez
You could hear the whole house. And I remember hearing your mom coming down the stairs, like, are you fucking kidding, bro?
Joe Sanigato
He used to do this in our room. Was next to my mom's room. Yeah. And then sometimes she would come in and she would be. Because there's other people sleeping.
Frank Alvarez
Are you crazy?
Joe Sanigato
And I'm laying a bit like, he is crazy. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, he got. He got after with some of that. But, like, all of us were at some point. And then also, like, we would be in a party chat to, like, with the other person. We would just kick them. So, like, they're in the middle of, like, a Death Match or Slayer, and then, like, they have to, like, stop what they're doing to rejoin, and then they die and stuff.
Joe Sanigato
Bro, do you know what? Like, it blew my mind that that was like, a universal thing that happened on Xbox, like, because I would see memes of it, and people be like, like, what's the shape of Italy? Like, I didn't know other people did that to their friends.
Frank Alvarez
Let me ask you a question. Does that make it more special for you or less special?
Joe Sanigato
I think more. It's like you. You participated in something that, like, was just the, like.
Frank Alvarez
But I was gonna say, like, didn't it feel more special when you would talk with your friends about it and be like, yo, me and my friends do this, and it's crazy. It's hysterical. And you felt like it was yours.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
May.
Joe Sanigato
I don't. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I kind of go back and forth with that type of thing, because I do have. Well, I think I've said this on an episode before where, like, with COVID as horrible it was. It was horrible. I thought that there was something interesting about, like, everyone's going through this at the same time on the whole planet.
Frank Alvarez
So, like, it is kind of cool
Joe Sanigato
when you find out that, like, oh, the thing that we, like, you know, like, little things. Like I used to say, olly olly oxen free. Then you think that's the only thing that you and your friends know, but it becomes a thing that in other countries they even know. And it's like, oh, wow.
Ant Prisco
What?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. So I guess I know we were just talking about getting your dick and balls dragged by water, but definitely something
Joe Sanigato
that's a shared experience.
Frank Alvarez
But, like, at what point does an experience lose its luster by how shared it is? Like, for me, I'm thinking in terms of, like, what you're saying, like, the whole Xbox, because it is now become a thing. Like, the. Like, the world is, like, genuinely obsessed with nostalgia. I mean, Jesus, if you go on TikTok, there's so much of just like, you know, like, Xbox parties and old snacks and games like that. And, you know, that that cuts me at my core.
Joe Sanigato
Do you see the videos where they're. They're like, AI videos of, like, here's Christmas in 1994. Yeah. And I'm like, a part that must
Frank Alvarez
fuck you up, because I've seen them, but you know how I am with AI. I swipe the fuck away from them.
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Frank Alvarez
I'm like, oh, I'm not supporting this. I'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Joe Sanigato
I watch it and I'm like. Like, there was one with a woman, like, pushing a cart in Blockbuster, and I'm like. And it just, like, unlocks, like, thoughts that you haven't had in so long. I'm like, oh, my God.
Frank Alvarez
It's weird because I remember as a kid having the difficulty explaining what are now considered shared experiences. And in a way, it, like. It both, like, calcifies how special it was to me, but also, like, I don't want to hear about it. Anyone else experiencing it. Like, I want it to remain my thing, but it is also cool that it was something that other people engaged in. It's a weird. There's a really fine line to ride there, bro.
Joe Sanigato
There was nothing better than that. Like, being, like, 16 and just. It was like you were with your friends all day and, like, especially in the summer, and then you would get home and it's like, I am literally on Xbox until 4am every night.
Frank Alvarez
And, like, there was a sense of, like, it was the, like, Even the Internet back then was not the Internet that it was. Now I feel like the Internet now is more of a representation of like Xbox game chats than they were what the Internet was then. Like no one is going on the Internet to play flash games anymore. Like they're. They want that mini clip fucking new grounds. You remember new grounds.
Joe Sanigato
What was the one that had candy stand, bro? Kandistan had a, a golf game. Like a mini golf game.
Frank Alvarez
Oh that like you pulled it back to like for like the, the power and like that.
Joe Sanigato
But like it was like candy on each level, bro. I loved that game. I used to play it in school all the time.
Frank Alvarez
Games.com. that one, that one was a good one. There was a bunch on there. But I also was like going to like Cartoon Network and I was like playing the like Dexter's Laboratory mazes and like that.
Joe Sanigato
Didn't even know that was a thing.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I do know what you're talking about, dude. There was some fucking Nickelodeon and Disney and Cartoon Network had the best flash games in the world.
Joe Sanigato
Flash games, dude.
Frank Alvarez
But like no one goes online. I guess they do it on their phone. But like phone games are such bullshit.
Joe Sanigato
It's so different.
Frank Alvarez
It's so bullshit.
Joe Sanigato
It doesn't, it doesn't hit like a fucking fat ass computer.
Frank Alvarez
Just fucking click clack and like, you know like the game where it's like you have to like judge how far to shoot an arrow at another stick. Stick figure.
Joe Sanigato
I love that.
Frank Alvarez
Like now it's like oh, Marvel Contest of Champions. Which is cool and I love and I play awful but like it ain't over produced. Like when you get a lot of hands, when there's money in it, more hands get on top of it and it's like you.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, I just want to pull back this thing and shoot an arrow into a stick figure's head and watch him bleed out.
Frank Alvarez
And he would bleed out and then like. Or I want to do the one where I put just sandwiches on this Kim Possible, Rufus the Rat, you know, taco. Put ingredients on this taco and Rufus could go send it out.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, stuff like that.
Ant Prisco
I don't mean to rain on any parade here. You guys sound a little boomery.
Frank Alvarez
If anything, by definition, it's not boomery.
Ant Prisco
The point is like the mentality of like, oh, is better back when.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I don't know if I. I don't want to sit there and say better.
Joe Sanigato
You don't get it because you don't like anything.
Frank Alvarez
You don't like, don't do that so true.
Joe Sanigato
You're afraid to like stuff.
Ant Prisco
I like. I like.
Frank Alvarez
You're getting. Goes as far as. Can you watch it? That's it.
Ant Prisco
I like.
Frank Alvarez
I could watch it. I'm gonna like it.
Ant Prisco
Okay, that's not all the way true.
Joe Sanigato
You don't like anything.
Ant Prisco
What does that have to do.
Joe Sanigato
You don't like anything that you can't. That I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
I acknowledge. I acknowledge, like, how that can come off sounding boomery. I'm not gonna be one of those people that's like, everything was better back then because there was a lot of blind spots that. That our society had and things that were exploited and, like, the way that people were treated. Gay marriage wasn't legal in our lifetime. That's hilarious, dude. Yes. Hilarious is the wrong word. I mean, it's insane. We know what you're saying. In our lives,
Joe Sanigato
in our lifetime, like,
Frank Alvarez
that was a thing, bro. Like, I'm not sitting there and saying because there are a lot of things that we could be critical about and are legitimately better now, but, like, in the ways at which people, like, enjoyed themselves, like, the simplicity had a lot more enjoyment in it, where now everything is monetized. And, like, yes, we are one of the. We are kind of part of that problem, I guess, in a sense. But, like, there was a lot more of a feeling of, like, it just was less evil.
Joe Sanigato
There was more community. I would say they're absolutely.
Ant Prisco
I feel like there's more community now.
Frank Alvarez
Really. There's. I. But. But the irony is that in the accessibility to that community, there is less.
Ant Prisco
Well, what scale are we talking? Because Frankie's skating around a grand scale. And I'm talking about, like. Like, there's. There's. There's also more opportunities to. For many communities everywhere now on the Internet.
Joe Sanigato
I agree. No, in that way, I meant, like, you know, there's a lot of people, especially the younger generation, that, like, don't socialize in the way that we were forced to when we were younger.
Ant Prisco
That's fair, but there's also more people that do, too. You know, there's two sides.
Frank Alvarez
I think that there is definitely more accessibility to those forms of socialization, but with that accessibility and the need to place an identity in those groups, there just naturally becomes more separation. Like. Like. Like, for instance, Star wars has always been a thing, but now Star wars and its fandom is more divided than it has ever been. And that's because.
Ant Prisco
It just sounds so traumatic.
Frank Alvarez
But, like, I mean, bro, there. There. People have been bullied out of the dude that played young Anakin Skywalker, Jake Lloyd, like, his life was fucking ruined because of the division of Star wars fans.
Joe Sanigato
Like, the little kid, what they don't fuck with him, bro.
Frank Alvarez
He, like, went and had, like, severe mental health issues as a result of the online bullying. The kid was like, 8 years old.
Joe Sanigato
That is so crazy.
Frank Alvarez
Kelly Marie Tran was, like, in the most recent Star wars trilogy. She was basically bullied into, like.
Joe Sanigato
Can I just say also, people who get on the Internet and say random things to celebrities because they're like, they'll never read it, bro. They're gonna see it. Especially if a lot of you are saying that. And it's a psychotic thing to do, in my opinion. Yeah. And also people being like, this is the job you signed up for. What?
Frank Alvarez
No, it isn't. You. You sign up for eyes on you. You don't sign up for the pieces of shit that just feel like now because you're in that position, they could say whatever they want.
Joe Sanigato
I don't know. It's like, you're especially people that are, like, in it for, like, you know, people who want to be actors or something. It's like, I enjoy this art form, and I was always into theater and stuff. And then it starts working out, and it's supposed to be a great thing, but then, you know, the. The. The necessary evil that we're choosing to accept exists is like, well, you signed up for the fact that everyone's gonna. You know, paparazzi is going to take pictures of you when you look the worst. And, you know, you don't get to be insecure and cry about that and it doesn't matter or whatever. Like, you signed up for it. It's like, well, I just really enjoyed acting. And now you're taking pictures of me. Pictures of me, and I'm completely insecure about myself.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. So thanks.
Ant Prisco
Or they. Or they zoom in a thousand time lens on a. On your wiener while you're on a boat.
Joe Sanigato
Yo, that. Honestly, they did that Bieber.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Years ago. They were like, on a boat. And they, like, zoomed in crazy. And, like, got a picture of him with his, like, dick out. And then he talked about on Ellen, which is bananas, by the way.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, there's a lot of those Ellen clips that the writing was on the wall. She was not very nice. You know, there's a lot of shit
Joe Sanigato
like that, but you can tell by the eyes. But, yo, I'm not kidding. Something like that happening to me would. I mean, it's just your penis. Yeah, but I would end up in jail.
Ant Prisco
Ah, I see.
Joe Sanigato
I wouldn't do anything, but I would definitely make phone calls.
Frank Alvarez
What is that?
Joe Sanigato
I want the person who took that picture to get their ass whooped.
Ant Prisco
Got it?
Joe Sanigato
Like, what is wrong with you? Like, it's like psychotic.
Frank Alvarez
And also the people who buy it
Joe Sanigato
are like, yes, you're nuts.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
You're crazy. These are peeps. Yeah, these are peeps.
Ant Prisco
These are human peeps also, you know, unwanted. Taking pictures of a peeps, it's crazy.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. And like, we're. I didn't know. Yo. The story of, like, when he's like, older, the full story of looking at his life through, like a benefit of hindsight lens is gonna be insane because there is so much like. That is the. That is the first and most intense example of like that parasocial relationship that the world has had with a celebrity that's not even in our lifetime.
Ant Prisco
It's not even that bad. Probably like the. The. The. That one spot. His documentary is going to be great, bro.
Joe Sanigato
He's a legend. I with the beeps hard.
Frank Alvarez
We also with.
Joe Sanigato
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Frank Alvarez
You know why? Because they're putting money back in your
Joe Sanigato
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Joe Sanigato
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Frank Alvarez
And you will love it.
Joe Sanigato
Especially the chocolate one, low key. That's my favorite. It's delicious. And they have a bunch of stuff in there that, like I said, it's all for your nutrition. All right, they have one packet. It provides complete nutrition, protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals, greens, probiotics, omegas, electrolytes and more. So it's got kind of a one stop shop there. But yeah, big fan of cachava before they were even a sponsor on this show. Love them. Keith loves them like crazy. So go check them out. But you can go to cachava.com and use the code basin for 15% off your first order. Okay. That is spelled K A C-H-A-V A.com basement to save 15% off of your first order. Enjoy that. Get the chocolate. Trust me, Try also. I wanted to talk about this. Frank, you brought this up, but you said that scientists turn turned yeast from the stomach of an old mummy into Bread. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
So they went into like a 5000. It was like 5400 year old mummy. They took.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Yeast. The yeast is in the stomach after that long. What is yeast?
Frank Alvarez
It might have been the kerfumfalf.
Joe Sanigato
Is that the.
Frank Alvarez
No, yeast In a bun.
Joe Sanigato
In a. Why am I saying that?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Vagina.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, I'm saying it like. What am I doing porn right now?
Ant Prisco
This is. This is.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, they took it and they made. You know what's funny is like the article I read was like, they made good bread and it was like. They specified good, not like.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, not like, whoa, dude.
Frank Alvarez
How is it good? Dude? Is that a violation of the mummy?
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, that's my yeast.
Frank Alvarez
That's your.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, don't fucking take your. Do we have yeast, I hope, or is that just. I don't think a boy's got yeast. I think it's just.
Joe Sanigato
What do we have then?
Frank Alvarez
Butts.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And piss.
Joe Sanigato
No, I don't think.
Ant Prisco
Yep. Men have yeast. You can.
Frank Alvarez
Where's our yeast? Where's our shit at?
Ant Prisco
You get yeast infections?
Frank Alvarez
No, we got. I know, I know. Men can get yeast infections. I've never gotten one. We know someone that has gotten a yeast infection. What?
Ant Prisco
The head of the penis?
Joe Sanigato
The head of the penis What?
Frank Alvarez
The head of the piece has a yeast.
Ant Prisco
It can.
Frank Alvarez
No, men can get yeast infection.
Ant Prisco
Belantis. What's that?
Joe Sanigato
Who's that?
Ant Prisco
What? It's called Balantis.
Frank Alvarez
Honestly, that sounds like a crazy city. Like, awesome. Like, it's been gone for years, but welcome back to Belantis.
Joe Sanigato
So wait, I have a city of yeast on the tip of my wiener?
Ant Prisco
I don't know if you have right now. I haven't seen, but you can.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, is that. It's bad if I have it.
Ant Prisco
Yes. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Infection is not good.
Joe Sanigato
No, but do you just have it?
Frank Alvarez
I don't think guys have it. I think. I think women.
Ant Prisco
You can. It can form.
Frank Alvarez
It can form and that's not a good. But I think that, like, there is a natural.
Ant Prisco
Because girls don't just have it with.
Frank Alvarez
Don't they?
Ant Prisco
Yeast. No, it's bacteria that they get after.
Joe Sanigato
I thought women have yeast just like.
Frank Alvarez
I think they got that shit locked, loaded, ready in the chamber just in case. Yeah, I think they have, like, good yeast because, like, remember there was years ago, there was like some streamer that made like beer with her yeast.
Ant Prisco
Oh, Amaranth. She does everything. Yeah, you're right.
Frank Alvarez
Wait, why do you know exactly who it is?
Ant Prisco
Because it didn't taste that great. Candida, hold Up.
Joe Sanigato
You had yeast beer.
Ant Prisco
No, I'm kidding.
Frank Alvarez
Well, all beer has. No, no, no, no. I mean, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no.
Ant Prisco
It's a joke. It's a joke.
Frank Alvarez
Joke.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll see.
Ant Prisco
Whoa. Six percent women naturally have yeast. It's called Canada.
Frank Alvarez
Canada. Shit. Canadian yeast. Oh, Canada. Your fucking shit is yeasty. Yeasty in your.
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Frank Alvarez
That is fire. This might be the drink of the summer. Okay, I like this one too. I'm rocking with it.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
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Frank Alvarez
Clam.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, that was pretty good.
Frank Alvarez
Honestly, that was.
Joe Sanigato
I didn't like that. You didn't like clam?
Ant Prisco
No, it was good phonetically. But, like, physically it hurt.
Joe Sanigato
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
There was like, what movie was it where they referred to a vagina as a clam? And I was just like, oh, I
Joe Sanigato
don't like when dudes say shit like that.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, they'll be like, oh, the clam box.
Joe Sanigato
Like, three words I'll accept. Outside of that, I'm not into it.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, we have Canada, too.
Frank Alvarez
We do. Canada.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, we do. Where is it?
Joe Sanigato
Where's.
Frank Alvarez
Where's our naturally occurring.
Ant Prisco
It just says on the skin and in their body on me.
Frank Alvarez
So, like, you could take scrapes of your skin and you could make sourdough bread.
Ant Prisco
It seems more penile.
Frank Alvarez
Pee pee. So dip your dick in, like, bread dough, right? And you might go nuts on some bread. You know that people would buy your dick bread.
Joe Sanigato
I would. I'll try it.
Frank Alvarez
You try your own dick bread.
Joe Sanigato
Is that. Was that gay or something?
Frank Alvarez
I mean, it's right there.
Joe Sanigato
You're eating your dick.
Frank Alvarez
You're knocking on the door, brother.
Joe Sanigato
I mean, I had a dream about my. My eating my penis. Remember that? That's right.
Frank Alvarez
You were chewing on it like a chicken wing. Yo, I crazy that you went chicken wing and you didn't go like footlong hero or something.
Joe Sanigato
Not only was I chewing on my penis in my dream like a chicken wing, but it was the most tender meat.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, you have often it was just spoken about falling off. I gotta be honest. You speak about. You spoke about this and have bringing it up again to the point where, like, you seem like you kind of wish you could try it. Like you want a slow roasted smoked dick. No, I do not. I do not want a slow roasted smoke dick.
Joe Sanigato
I can imagine you're now getting crazy with all the adjectives, with the cooking adjectives. So I know you're sitting there and
Frank Alvarez
you're talking about the. How tender and juicy.
Joe Sanigato
I said my. First of all, I said my own was tender. In my dream, you're over there like, oh, I would throw it on the Blackstone.
Frank Alvarez
I never said that. I never said I was doing that. I never in any point in time said that.
Joe Sanigato
You tell me a Guy Fieri made a penis for you and ate it.
Frank Alvarez
No, I don't know how to. No. No. Diners drive ins and dicks. Oh, Slap some of this gangster sauce on this, and it's fucking delicious. Sauce bombs. Oh, man. This is donkey. Oh, my God.
Joe Sanigato
This dick is gangster, brother. You gotta eat something.
Frank Alvarez
Today we're in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and we
Joe Sanigato
stopped at at Rudy's to get some stick.
Frank Alvarez
We're in Louisiana, home of the smoke cock. And today we're in Jacksonville, Florida, and we're trying to get our hands on some big balls and dicks. Oh, my God. All right, I'm here with chef Roman. Chef, tell me how you absolutely just pulverized this beef into mouth watering, tendery goodness. A breaded dick.
Ant Prisco
He's got.
Frank Alvarez
He got two rings on each finger. Let me taste that. That's gangster. It's savory, it's sweet, and it's dick for sure. Welcome to Guy Fieri's dumpster restaurant. Today we're putting in a garbage can over nachos. Yo, let me tell you something. If there's another level of demonetization we have just discovered, I don't.
Joe Sanigato
We might owe them money.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, man. Who's the CEO of YouTube? He's just gonna hit us up, be like, guys, come on. What was his name? We looked him up. Yeah. Paul.
Ant Prisco
No. Neil.
Joe Sanigato
Right?
Frank Alvarez
Neil. Neil.
Joe Sanigato
Neil.
Frank Alvarez
It's good fun. Come on, Neil. This is all good fun, dude.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, man. Welcome to Triple G. You can only shop in the aisles that have.
Ant Prisco
We got no chance.
Frank Alvarez
We've enlisted the best chefs, James Beard award winning chefs to cook peanuts. These chefs are gonna work for 24 hours. Every hour, one is gonna get eliminated. But every hour, we're as judges are gonna eat it. And every dollar that we win is gonna be a proceed to feeding people in America. Chef, you have three Michelin stars. What does it feel like to be in the Triple G house cooking this penis? How did this happen? Oh, my. Gordon Ramsay goes to a restaurant. He's like, this is off awful. This tastes like dick.
Ant Prisco
Yo.
Frank Alvarez
We just did 10 minutes on dick.
Ant Prisco
I don't even know what's at work.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, what an episode. Oh, I hate to see the thumbnail that's made for this one.
Joe Sanigato
I mean, you know, we've.
Ant Prisco
I think I'm just. Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
All right.
Frank Alvarez
I can't wait to see what notes say right now. Yeah, those notes are gonna be crazy.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, God.
Frank Alvarez
So what were we, the mummy?
Joe Sanigato
Mummified.
Frank Alvarez
Mummified Shit.
Joe Sanigato
I would do that. They said they were gonna make. They said they made bread, but they also would make beer. I would drink a mummy's dick beer.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you drank a beer that was made with bear shit.
Joe Sanigato
That's true. And it's like beer.
Frank Alvarez
And it tastes just like beer. So. Like, there's nothing stopping you.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. Like a mummy's.
Frank Alvarez
So be honest. All right, here we are. I know that, like, beer gets very hot when they're making it. When they're making it.
Joe Sanigato
Like.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Oh.
Frank Alvarez
I don't. Even if they sold, like, how they did with, like, Sydney Sweeney's bathwater. Yeah, but it was just like. Oh, we just had a guy swim naked in here for an hour, and then we bottled it, and it's. It's. We're calling it a ball beer.
Joe Sanigato
Who's a guy?
Frank Alvarez
That's a. That makes a difference.
Joe Sanigato
You're saying some guy. So I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Jalen Brunson.
Joe Sanigato
What are you talking about? I'm emptying the keg.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
If it's Jalen Brunson. If it's anyone on the Knicks right now.
Frank Alvarez
Okay. Bryan Cranston.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Will Smith.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Less enthusiastic.
Frank Alvarez
I need to find someone that would be like, wait a sec, Hitler.
Ant Prisco
What are we. We can't.
Joe Sanigato
I didn't think that it could get worse.
Frank Alvarez
And now I was just trying to think of the worst person I could think of, which apparently, according to some places in America, that's not the worst.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. Oh, God.
Frank Alvarez
You would.
Ant Prisco
So I'm pretty sure we said covet at some point, too, in here.
Frank Alvarez
Well, now we definitely didn't.
Joe Sanigato
You just hammered it out.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
We definitely did.
Frank Alvarez
Let's throw out a vaccine while we're at it. All the words, Neil. How about that?
Ant Prisco
Stick it up to the.
Frank Alvarez
That's what. That's for you, Neil.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, man.
Frank Alvarez
Jokes aside. Yep. Jokes aside.
Ant Prisco
I would.
Joe Sanigato
I would eat. I would drink the beer.
Frank Alvarez
If I swam in a vat of beer and sold it to just fry.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I would try it.
Frank Alvarez
You would?
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Interesting.
Joe Sanigato
Because if it was bad, then I
Frank Alvarez
would be like, bro, your beer sucks.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Your ball beer sucks.
Joe Sanigato
The bread, I guess, is tougher. I feel like you'd be able to, like, taste more of the balls and the.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, because I think at a certain point, any of the, like, human taste would just go away in the fermentation process of the alcohol.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah. Which.
Ant Prisco
Which, you know, once you butter the bread. Some buttery balls, I guess.
Frank Alvarez
But, like, how are they able to
Joe Sanigato
extract yeast out of someone who's been dead for that long?
Frank Alvarez
Well, bro, yeast exist, bro. We know this now because Becca's been crushing sourdough. Those starters, like, you can dry them out and put them. Like, literally, you dry out a sourdough starter, and, like, it will stay good forever.
Ant Prisco
The. This was also a frozen mummy.
Frank Alvarez
Does that matter?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, because I think it preserves bacteria.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. But even in the freezer, things have a shelf life. Like, it's not like they're good forever frozen.
Joe Sanigato
I never really thought about that.
Frank Alvarez
Sublimation. Sublimination. Sublimation. I forgot the exact term. But, like, it's the process. It's the process of going from solid to gaseous. So, like, if you ever, like, had a freezer and you left, like, an ice cube in the freezer, and eventually, like, it doesn't melt, but the ice cube shrinks. I guess it's the process of going from a frozen, like, a solid to a gash, a gaseous state.
Joe Sanigato
And what makes. What's the catalyst there? Is it just time?
Frank Alvarez
I don't know. That's a great question. Look up the science behind sublimation. Or sublimation.
Ant Prisco
I'm already on it.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Okay.
Joe Sanigato
We're trying to save this goddamn episode.
Frank Alvarez
Save it from what? This is one of the best episodes we've done.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Oh.
Frank Alvarez
We're trying to balance off the science.
Ant Prisco
A good example is, like, dry ice. You know how.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but that's.
Ant Prisco
That.
Frank Alvarez
That's not. Dry ice is a different chemical, brother. That's not what it's not. It's not frozen carbon.
Ant Prisco
Let me ask you guys what it's telling me here.
Joe Sanigato
You guys like dry ice. Like, if you get, like, if you're
Frank Alvarez
at a cocktail bar and they bring
Joe Sanigato
some out, that's smoking you with that hell, brother.
Frank Alvarez
Yes.
Joe Sanigato
I think that all drinks should be served smoked. Not smoked, but, like, smoking.
Frank Alvarez
Like, with, like, fog. About.
Joe Sanigato
I. I went to this bar, this, like, cocktail bar, and I actually went to a restaurant, and then the owner was like, oh, hey. And then it was like, we opened a cocktail bar downstairs. Did you want to try it? I was like, sure. So I went and all the drinks, like, you order a drink, and they put it in, like, a tray, like, the two cups and then they fill the tray with like the smoke and shit. So they put it in front. It's like there's smoke everywhere.
Frank Alvarez
What was that one place that was huge for a while where they had like candy drinks or sugar drinks? It was it called Sugar Bar, where like. Oh, you know what I'm talking about, right? Freak sugar. Freak sugar. Sugar balls.
Joe Sanigato
Sugar, Sugar.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know. Sugar, Sugar gag.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, it's not that, but like.
Frank Alvarez
And it came with like a bubble and like in the bubble was dry ice. And then they pop it and it would like. Yeah, yeah, you know, like it was the fucking undertaker.
Joe Sanigato
I kind of fuck with desserts when they have like a pretty presentation like that where it's like, oh, we take this.
Frank Alvarez
The only one that I've never gotten is. I'm not a big fan of, of cooked fruit. Is like Bananas Foster.
Joe Sanigato
What's that?
Frank Alvarez
It's where the bananas come on fire. Or like Baked Alaska. I've never gotten that one either. But that one, they. They light that ablaze.
Joe Sanigato
What's that?
Frank Alvarez
I. I think it's like there's like a cream and they light it up.
Joe Sanigato
They just light cream on.
Frank Alvarez
Well, we went to that place, that steakhouse in Austin. They do the fire steak. Remember the salt comes on fire. Yeah, that was sick.
Joe Sanigato
I kind of like when they do that type of too where they like pour fire on and I'm like, this is dope.
Frank Alvarez
I almost bought a kitchen torch the other day.
Joe Sanigato
What do you need that for there?
Frank Alvarez
I'm not kidding you. I would use it for nothing. Yeah, but like I, I was like, this would be cool to have.
Joe Sanigato
Or like lighting a cigar.
Frank Alvarez
That's what my dad does. Yeah, my dad lights his cigars black and miles with a full on plumber's torch, right?
Joe Sanigato
Oh, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And it's like got the tank, it's got the giant tank. And literally he'll be like, I'm gonna light a cigar. And I'm like, so overkill, dad.
Joe Sanigato
Also Dange could be dange.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, here I. I've been plumber 35 years. I don't care a bit.
Joe Sanigato
Plumber.
Frank Alvarez
That's what his defense would be.
Ant Prisco
My friends have a couple of those torches.
Joe Sanigato
I'm into it.
Frank Alvarez
I like Zippo lighters.
Ant Prisco
Not for cooking, dude.
Frank Alvarez
Zippos. I'm a for Zippos.
Joe Sanigato
I don't like how the, the gas dries up.
Frank Alvarez
I mean that's, that's normal. I mean, ugh. I mean, you just fill it with a liquid. You could buy the liquid for like eight bucks. Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
But then it dries. Like if you don't use all of it, like it just goes away.
Frank Alvarez
If it's in the tin, it should stay good for a long, long time.
Joe Sanigato
But like the one that I bought, it's like you stuff it with like a.
Frank Alvarez
It's like a cotton or something. Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
And then you. You pour the whatever in. But like. And then eventually if you don't use it, it just like kind of evaporates.
Frank Alvarez
Dude, I love it because like I feel like I'm gonna drop it on like a trail of gas and blow something up.
Joe Sanigato
I would love to blow things up like that. Like just like so close
Frank Alvarez
and just like walk away.
Joe Sanigato
Like a leather jacket. It is really cool that in movies like that people walk away from the explosion. Because if I'm exploding something, I'm looking, I don't have it in me to like.
Frank Alvarez
Well, those are. Those are well experienced exploders.
Joe Sanigato
They must.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, they're like exploding all the time. Like of course, like Wolverine is walking away because like no one gives a. He's done so many explodings.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. You know, isn't it funny how Hollywood decided that like walking out of an exploded house is fire?
Frank Alvarez
Like, like it is. It is also like the concussive blast of the explosion. Would you up.
Joe Sanigato
Put you down?
Frank Alvarez
Cuz that's like. That will get you.
Joe Sanigato
I don't like explosions, man. They're too loud. I don't like them.
Frank Alvarez
Have you ever seen an explosion like in Percy?
Joe Sanigato
The only explosion that I've seen. I'm not going to make that.
Frank Alvarez
Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Ant Prisco
We.
Frank Alvarez
We're already. We're already there.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
There.
Joe Sanigato
We're already in trouble.
Frank Alvarez
No, no, but I, I did see.
Joe Sanigato
Remember when Universal had that ride?
Ant Prisco
Yeah. Like a stunt show.
Frank Alvarez
Like Water World.
Joe Sanigato
No, they would have like explosions, but it was like hot.
Frank Alvarez
Well, yeah, you didn't see it. You saw more of a like controlled explosion. Not even an explosion. It was just like a shooting of fire.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, they explode some things. Some of the stunt shows.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know. I don't know. I think you're.
Joe Sanigato
I don't know if I've ever seen like an actual explosion.
Frank Alvarez
I'm trying to think. I can't remember, like if I have seen an explosion or not.
Ant Prisco
What are we counting as? Explosion?
Frank Alvarez
Like boom.
Joe Sanigato
Like an explosion. What are we talking about here? We know. An explosion.
Frank Alvarez
What an awesome name for it too.
Joe Sanigato
Explosion.
Frank Alvarez
Explosion. Congrats to the word, people.
Joe Sanigato
It's almost like.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, whoever yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, you're right.
Frank Alvarez
The Latin people.
Joe Sanigato
I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
I don't even know. Yeah. Where does the term explode come from? It's probably like Greek. And it was like, expliation.
Joe Sanigato
Explosion. Like, if I. I feel like you can meet, like a Baltic dude and that's like his name.
Frank Alvarez
I feel like that's something your brother would name another child if they had another boy. I love you, Tom.
Joe Sanigato
We're thinking Explosion.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, honestly, like peak. Need for speed, Underground 2. Frankie might have named his child Explosion.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. If I had to live by the decisions that I was making at that age, it would be a completely different world.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Your kids names would BE explos, Steve McNair and fucking, you know, Simple Plan. Yeah. What, I'd have weird tattoos or NBA Inside drive.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, Jesus.
Frank Alvarez
What a game. Yeah, what a game. That is a good one. Anything on the origins of the word explosion?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, there's a couple things. Rome, it's a. Well, first. Let's go.
Frank Alvarez
No way.
Ant Prisco
Let's go Latin first. It's a explode. The air.
Frank Alvarez
That's French.
Ant Prisco
Explodeer. I don't know how you.
Joe Sanigato
How do you spell it?
Ant Prisco
E, X, P, L, O, D, E, R, E. Explodere.
Frank Alvarez
Explodere. That's probably it, because they love to do that essay, Quam videre, and it
Ant Prisco
actually means to drive out by clapping or to clap someone off stage. Similar to the word applause. Honestly, it's like clapping.
Frank Alvarez
Whoa. Applause. Explosion. Not close enough. Honestly.
Ant Prisco
What was that? I meant more the meaning, not the phonetics.
Frank Alvarez
So, like, when we were done at msg, they explained. They exploded us off the stage. I think.
Ant Prisco
I think it's more negative, but technically, you guys were exploded on the MSG stage. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Damn.
Joe Sanigato
I mean, I was about to cool
Frank Alvarez
with that, honestly, because I don't think I've ever exploded.
Joe Sanigato
I've exploded.
Frank Alvarez
I. Neil, he's still going. Neil, he's still going.
Ant Prisco
Horns up. It's fine.
Frank Alvarez
Huh?
Joe Sanigato
What'd you say?
Frank Alvarez
What?
Joe Sanigato
It's just a Horns up.
Ant Prisco
That's fine.
Joe Sanigato
Is that like a Texas thing?
Ant Prisco
No, it's like a horny thing. Oh, it is a Texas thing, you're right.
Joe Sanigato
Horns up.
Frank Alvarez
Where are you, brother?
Ant Prisco
Horns up. At school.
Frank Alvarez
Where are you?
Joe Sanigato
Is that like a motto you live by?
Ant Prisco
Sure.
Frank Alvarez
So
Ant Prisco
you want more? I feel like I gave a lot there.
Frank Alvarez
No, I'm more concerned with how horny you are during this recording.
Ant Prisco
I'm not. Right now, you two seem way more horny than me.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, I do.
Frank Alvarez
I definitely don't.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. I mean, you Got the fishnet shirt on. So you're pretty. Like.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you are. You're taking a page out of the Joe Sanigato book for shirts. I need way more shirts. Way more nipples. Yeah, not me. I'm buttoned up. I'm like, you're never catching me nipples out. Even when I have. I have shirts that are more, like, knitted.
Joe Sanigato
I mean, we've seen your nipples on the Internet that you wore a tape
Ant Prisco
suit taped up, brother.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but that was like, Damn, that was crazy that I did that. You remember how bad I broke out in a rash, bro?
Joe Sanigato
Yes, I remember that stuff coming off of you, and it was insane, dude.
Frank Alvarez
I broke out in a really bad rash right here because it, like, clogged my pores, bro.
Joe Sanigato
Also, if you want to humble yourself, tape up your body a little bit,
Frank Alvarez
and look at it.
Joe Sanigato
It's disgusting.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, it was. Well, hold on. It literally is. I was the one that got taped up. You want to be humbled? Look at him. This filthy pig. No, I've done it too, though. Not taped fully up, but I have. You.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And then when you get, like, tape
Joe Sanigato
on you and then you pull it
Frank Alvarez
off, you're like, yo, why is this, like, cloudy? I think. Well, yeah, because it's pulling the natural oils off of your skin.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, all the. All the Canada on me.
Frank Alvarez
All that Canada is filthy Canada yeast. Great callback, dude. Absolutely great callback.
Joe Sanigato
It's all in here, baby.
Frank Alvarez
I think we should do another Patreon. Goal. That Joe, this time has to do the tape suit. First of all, we got to do our.
Ant Prisco
Oh, yeah, that's what's coming.
Joe Sanigato
We should probably say.
Ant Prisco
You should probably say that next week.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Oh, yeah, Next. Well, actually, no shit. This is a week. If you're on Patreon and seeing it, it'll be this Friday. This has been so off the rails. I forget that this is a weekly episode.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joe Sanigato
But we are doing it on Patreon.
Frank Alvarez
Double.
Joe Sanigato
What was it?
Frank Alvarez
Edward forty Hands?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Joe Sanigato
Why did I. I was gonna call it something.
Ant Prisco
Well, you could also tell them that it's. It's already up if they want to sign up for Patreon.
Joe Sanigato
Oh, yeah. You're on the show, too.
Frank Alvarez
So you just said it. Yeah. Why don't you. This is fucking.
Ant Prisco
You're right. Go sign up.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, it's.
Joe Sanigato
It's on. It's on. It's on Patreon right now.
Frank Alvarez
Where.
Joe Sanigato
I mean, I'm assuming that me and Frank are gonna be, like, a little toasty that day for sure.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. If all goes well, it's up because you know we could run into something.
Frank Alvarez
I'm figuring I don't know how. Like I know how I'm gonna get home because you're gonna send a car. But like I'm going to have to bring bottles in the car with me for piss and like I'm not even kidding. I'm worried.
Ant Prisco
Gatorade bottles about peeing.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Wouldn't you like think about it like this? You like. We might want to record that first and let that kind of be like set the tone and tenor for the rest of the day.
Joe Sanigato
That's scary.
Frank Alvarez
Why?
Joe Sanigato
Because then we're going like drunk into a full episode.
Frank Alvarez
We could do. We could do Patreon. Do we have a Santa gotta studios video to do that day?
Ant Prisco
We always do.
Frank Alvarez
So then we can do that and then hopefully be sober up a little bit by the time the weekly girls over.
Joe Sanigato
We could try it. We can try it.
Ant Prisco
Okay, well the old college try.
Frank Alvarez
Figure it out.
Joe Sanigato
Yeah. But listen, thank you guys so much for.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, what an episode. I'm not kidding.
Joe Sanigato
Oh man.
Frank Alvarez
This one ain't gonna end up on an airplane.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
No.
Joe Sanigato
Tell you that.
Ant Prisco
No it won't.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
United's gonna be like, no, you did 10 minutes about cooking.
Joe Sanigato
I can't wait to see that on the Internet.
Frank Alvarez
But yeah. Thank you guys so much. Frank regularly the Frank Alvarez all over the place. Go check out patreon.com the basementyard again if you're seeing this on patreon this week, June 17th at 12pm Eastern. The shows pre sale code for the shows presale of Sorry presale availability for the shows. Find it@the basementyard.com and the pre sale code is basement. Very easy to remember. It's literally our name. Go check it out.
Joe Sanigato
Ant.
Ant Prisco
Find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram.
Joe Sanigato
You guys go follow me at Joe Sanigato. Go follow the show at the Basement on Tick Tock and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.
Ant Prisco
Bye.
Release Date: June 22, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez | Guest: Ant Prisco
This riotous episode of The Basement Yard dives deep—sometimes literally—into memories of reckless childhood water adventures, body insecurities, and the chaos of nostalgia. Joe, Frank, and Ant reminisce about the perils and humor of being dragged behind boats, debate nipple-related self-esteem, touch on communal internet experiences, and spiral into wild tangents about yeast, bread, and improbable food experiments. It’s classic Basement Yard, blending crude hilarity, vulnerable friendship, and off-the-wall bits.
“39 square inches of my body are my least favorite.” – Frank (01:49)
“My dick was dragging against the surface of that water.” – Joe (09:33) “I have spent more time raw dicking that lake during tubing than I’ve ever been inside of a woman.” – Frank (09:42)
“If something like that happened to me… I would end up in jail.” – Joe (49:09)
On tubing pain:
“Imagine being dragged so weakly. It’s been a lot of dick.” – Frank (11:05)
“My balls have gotten mashed too… I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to get dragged by a horse, and I know because I’ve been dragged by boat and tube.” – Frank (11:13)
On the chaos of community nostalgia:
“There was nothing better than that: being, like, 16 and… literally on Xbox until 4am every night.” – Joe (41:57)
On celebrity and privacy:
“You don’t sign up for the pieces of shit that just feel like now because you’re in that position, they could say whatever they want.” – Frank (47:48)
On science gone wild:
“So they went into, like, a 5,400-year-old mummy. They took… yeast. The yeast is in the stomach after that long?” – Joe (53:39)
“A breaded dick.” – Frank (59:44)
On eating 'dick bread':
“Would you try your own dick bread?” – Frank (57:30)
“You’re eating your dick.” – Frank (57:38)
Irreverent, high-energy, and packed with laughs, this episode is a blend of crude physical humor, wild digressions, and genuine friendship. Frank, Joe, and Ant are unafraid to poke fun at each other or themselves—whether discussing body insecurities, embarrassing water mishaps, or existential questions about nostalgia and fame. They balance raucous bits and impressions with sincere commentary about privacy and the pitfalls of modern celebrity.
A quintessential Basement Yard: absurd, honest, and uproariously funny. From stories about getting pantsed by lake water to musings on eating “dick bread,” with stops for nostalgia and serious commentary on fame, it’s a wild, welcoming ride for old fans and new listeners alike.