#563 - Choking Is Embarassing

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Basement Yard – Episode #563: "Choking Is Embarrassing"

Podcast: The Basement Yard
Episode: #563 – Choking Is Embarrassing
Date: July 13, 2026
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (Presented by Santagato Studios)

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Joe and Frank—without their usual third chair, Ant—dive into a range of absurd, relatable, and nostalgic topics. From Frank’s public choking mishap to debates about carnival games and the merits of participation trophies, the episode delivers a blend of personal stories, candid opinions, and classic friendly banter. The lack of internet and AC in the studio adds a retro vibe as the hosts riff freely, covering everything from embarrassing elevator moments to cultural quirks and kid sports.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ant’s Absence and Show Opener (00:30–02:14)

• Ant is away on vacation in Aruba, prompting a series of jokes about him “blowing us” (a running inside gag).
• Joe and Frank playfully speculate on what Ant is doing and riff about video games on vacation.

2. Santagato Studios Merch (02:14–03:15)

• Announcement of limited edition “Studios FC” soccer jerseys dropping July 13th.
• Excitement about new merchandise and a playful aside about dubious domain names.

3. Choking Stories & Embarrassing Moments (04:24–12:33)

• Frank recounts choking on water in a crowded elevator and spitting it out "organized" into the corner, then awkwardly documenting the incident (“It’s just a puddle in my shoes.” [05:50]).
• Discussion of how choking is universally embarrassing, with Joe noting:

  "Choking is one of those that, it’s just like, I'm the problem if I'm choking." [07:41]

• References to the “I Think You Should Leave” sketch about choking in public.
• Debate over the current state of the Heimlich maneuver and whether they'd intervene in a “real” choking situation.
• Goofy tangent about gag reflexes, brushing teeth, and removing popcorn kernels from the throat.

4. Diarrhea Parasites & Food Mishaps (13:12–16:22)

• Conversation about a “parasite going around that gives you diarrhea,” dubbed by Frank as “the ass bug.”
• Both recount recent stomach issues, initially blaming bad food (particularly bratwurst at a pop-up World Cup bar), before potentially attributing it to the bug.
• Frank:

  "I don’t need this parasite. I could do that all on my own." [14:09]

5. Culinary Tangents: Portugal, Lemon Pastries & Meringues (17:04–22:34)

• Frank shares his experiences in Portugal, including a baking class making pastel de nata (Portuguese custard tarts). He expresses mixed feelings about lemon desserts and the process of making custard.
• The two debate the merits and origins of meringue and pavlova desserts, poking fun at French culinary attitudes.
• Extended riff on the sensuality of kitchen utensils and memories of licking the cake batter off rubber spatulas as kids.

6. Viral Pastry & Chocolate Makers (23:00–24:46)

• Admiration for TikTok pastry and chocolate makers who make unexpectedly provocative-looking confections.
• Frank teases the idea of chocolate molds of one’s genitals; both playfully debate if eating a chocolate mold of your own penis would be “gay.”
  • Joe:

    “If you were to get a chocolate mold of your penis and you eat it… are you gay?” [26:39]

7. Language Learning Frustrations & Travel (35:40–48:00)

• Frank shares frustration about not being fluent in another language after every trip to Europe, especially after struggling with Portuguese.
• Discussion on the importance of learning Spanish and how it helps in NYC, including personal anecdotes of being treated better when speaking Spanish.
• Joe notes:

  "Learning a different language... boosts your brain activity and keeps you fresh." [36:24]

• They discuss dogs and babies absorbing local languages, with Frank marveling that "the dog knows Portuguese." [47:43]

8. Drone Shows and Paranoia (48:00–50:09)

• Frank describes seeing a spectacular but slightly unnerving drone show in Portugal, reflecting on how easily one could be at the mercy of such technology.
• Jokes about defending oneself with nets and general anxiety over drones.

9. Lassoing & Booby Traps (50:10–54:29)

• Playful debate about whether they'd be able to "juke" or dodge a lasso thrown by a cowboy; Frank is skeptical and wants to try being caught in fun booby traps.
• Joe pitches an amusement park attraction where patrons get trapped in various classic adventure/booby trap scenarios.

10. Carnival Games, Competition & Participation Trophies (60:05–69:32)

• Disappointment in finding out that local fairs now sell prizes directly, removing the skill/game element—Frank calls it “bad for a child.”
• Discussion about the role and value of participation trophies in kids’ sports, drawing the line between encouraging participation versus rewarding actual achievement:
  • Joe:

    "If everyone gets the exact same trophy, I don't know if I agree with that." [66:05]

  • Both hosts agree: Rewarding completion is fine, but winning should get “the big fucking trophy.” [66:10]

11. Nostalgia: Little League, Kids’ Baseball, and Umping Stories (69:40–77:31)

• Fond reminiscing about childhood sports: the joy of jerseys, Little League teams named after real MLB teams, and wearing mismatched gear.
• Detailed story from Joe about umpiring a game, tossing a friend’s younger brother for cursing at him, full of humor and the heightened seriousness of childhood baseball.
  • Joe:

    "I got a 9-year-old telling me to suck their nuts on the left." [77:17]

12. Wrapping up and Final Thoughts (77:37–79:15)

• Closing thoughts on missing the simplicity of playing catch and the strong urge to revisit youthful pastimes.
• Episode ends with both hosts nearly succumbing to heat exhaustion due to the broken AC.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Choking in Public:

  "Choking is so embarrassing to choke." – Frank [07:59]

• On Foodborne Parasites:

  "I just want to say to this parasite, I don't need you to show me how to shit like that. I could do that all on my own." – Frank [14:09]

• On Chocolate Molds & Identity:

  "If you were to get a chocolate mold of your penis and you eat it… are you gay?" – Joe [26:39] "No, I agree. … I mean, I just wouldn’t—you know, I don’t think it’s gay unless I take this chocolate thing and I like, you know, make love to it all the time and I marry it and I am in a relationship with it now. Then I’d be gay." – Frank [27:14]

• On American Stereotypes (World Cup discussions):

  "We are insane, but we are mostly good people, but a lot of us are also really stupid." – Joe [39:00]

• On Participation Trophies:

  "I think you can honor someone... but you also need to establish a hierarchy of what the competitive aspect is getting you." – Joe [65:24] "I don't think there's anything wrong with like, someone winning and someone losing. … That's still, like, a good thing." – Frank [66:50]

• On Language Learning:

  "...every Single time that I go to Europe and I come back home, I'm like, I hate the fact that I can't speak another language. It drives me insane." – Frank [36:03]

• On Little League umpiring:

  "[He] turned around and was like, 'Suck my fucking balls.' … So I threw him out of the game." – Joe [75:51]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:30–02:14: Ant’s absence and intro riffing
• 02:14–03:15: Studios FC soccer jersey announcement
• 04:24–12:33: Choking in elevator story & related embarrassing moments
• 13:12–16:22: Parasite/diarrhea contagion and food poisoning debate
• 17:04–22:34: Pastel de nata, custard, lemon desserts and meringue stories
• 23:00–24:46: TikTok pastry/chocolate viral video discussion
• 35:40–48:00: Language learning frustrations, speaking Spanish in NYC, and travel reflections
• 48:00–50:09: Drone show stories, tech anxiety
• 50:10–54:29: Lassoing/cowboy debate, booby trap amusement idea
• 60:05–69:32: Carnival games, removing skill from competition & discussion of participation trophies
• 69:40–77:31: Little League baseball memories and umpire tales

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Tone & Style

• Raw, candid, and unfailingly self-deprecating.
• Laced with bro-humor, inside jokes, and playful ribbing.
• Nostalgic storytelling mixed with current cultural observations and (occasional) sincere reflection.
• Seamless blend of immaturity and wit—classic Basement Yard.

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For fans of the show or newcomers alike, this episode showcases Joe and Frank’s ability to turn the mundane and embarrassing into comedy, nostalgia, and—occasionally—earnest insight.

Transcript

[Christy]

Hey, it's Christy from Lululemon and I'm here at the office checking out the Shake it out shorts. These have been my go tos and I kind of think of them as a middle ground between a true run short and a more playful, athletic, sporty short. They have all the performance you want for running, so a comfy liner, our lightweight swift fabric, even a pocket for your keys. But what I really like is the flowy fit and layered hem. It gives it a little bit of volume, a little bit of fun, so they feel as good on a run as they do just at coffee afterwards. You can find the Shake it out shorts in store now or [e-mail] welcome

[Frank Alvarez]

back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank?

[Joe Sanigato]

Very nice. I like that a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ant's not here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ant's not here. He's.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's with us in spirit.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is what he left.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't make him suck your wiener, okay? Don't make him suck your wiener.

[Joe Sanigato]

He.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's on vacation.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's on vacation. He's in Aruba.

[Frank Alvarez]

He's having a good time.

[Joe Sanigato]

Maybe. I mean, he did post yesterday because the Piggy boys, I don't know if it's going on when this comes out. They're fucking Mario Kart Subathon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And he's like training, brother. You're in Aruba.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Just go outside. Yeah. You'll be alright.

[Joe Sanigato]

There is. If you had asked me for 20 things to do on vacation, how many of them do you think would involve a video game? You.

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like it's not that high for you, but.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, but he's. He's. He gave us these, which.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which we're gonna need because the AC broke. Duh.

[Joe Sanigato]

Duh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, Sci Fi's down.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's blowing us.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ant's blowing us.

[Joe Sanigato]

Ant's blowing us. This episode.

[Frank Alvarez]

Ant's blowing.

[Joe Sanigato]

He can't do anything. Well, all right. You be Ant, I'll be me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. Hey, Ant, you're. You're blowing us.

[Christy]

All right?

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, that's not absolutely.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, also take a look at this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Look at that.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is. Listen, for the World cup limited edition, we made soccer jerseys, okay?

[Joe Sanigato]

Studios fc. See, it says Studios Football Club. Got a little thing here. We have two of these, which means

[Frank Alvarez]

we won two World Cups.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, is that what that means? The stars?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I didn't know that. We've won. We have won some stuff.

[Frank Alvarez]

We've. We've. We. I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, we're sexiest podcasters of 2024.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what that. That's what that signifies. And the other one was best ensemble.

[Joe Sanigato]

So we. Two World Cups of. That's what. Very specific niche topics. But we made these soccer jerseys.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're fucking awesome. They are limited. And we have a whole new merch operation coming also. That's going to be a lot of fun, a lot of cool stuff. You can go to Santa Gata Studios right now. Santagott Calm right now. There'll be a thing at the bottom where you can put your email in. Put that in and you'll let you know when all the merch is coming out. But these are coming out July 13th at noon. All right. Oh, get your hands.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's, like, soon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. Oh, I'm excited.

[Frank Alvarez]

I need them for the World Cup.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm not only excited. I had one of those drinks that you got, and I'm like, ah,

[Frank Alvarez]

you got some caffeine?

[Joe Sanigato]

I got a little bit. Ants. Not here. Those are really nice. It's santagotto Studios. Dot com. Yeah, make sure you specify the dot com, because people might go to, like, dot, cock or penis.

[Frank Alvarez]

No one's gonna do that because those aren't websites.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, they may be. Is that a website? Dot cock, dot penis. Look up if there are any.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do you want me to do that? I'll do it. What do you want me to do?

[Joe Sanigato]

All right. What, do you want me to die? What do you want me to type? Look up. This is what happens when ants. Not here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right? Look up something.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dot, penis, whatever you think. But it's the dot at the end because there's.org.gov.com co, which.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever. The Wi Fi's down. I forgot till right now. We can't look anything up. By the way. The WI fi's down. Something's going on, I guess.

[Joe Sanigato]

Back to our roots of being able to just make an assumption about something and be confident that it's the truth.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it is the truth. Because no one can say it's not. Cause there's no one in the room.

[Joe Sanigato]

Schrodinger's cat, Right? You know, it's both the truth and fake at the exact same time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Exactly.

[Joe Sanigato]

So who cares? We're back. This is the OG basement yard now. Yeah. Let's go back to your roots. Start speaking like you're Hispanic.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't say that. Start speaking like you're Hispanic.

[Joe Sanigato]

So, like, slices. Like they'd be wild with them titties. Okay, we're moving on now, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will Tell you this. Something embarrassing. More embarrassing than that. Recently. This was yesterday. I got in the elevator and I had a water bottle and there was like a couple of people in the elevator with me, and I went to go drink it. And I like, aspirated. And you know when you do that so like, you're like basically coughing in your mouth and you have something in your mouth, you're like choking on it. Like, goes down the wrong pipe type of thing. Yeah. You kind of have that moment where you're like, am I just gonna spit this out or am I gonna try and hold it together? Yeah. I'm around a bunch of people. I should have been like, gonna just hold it together. I ditched.

[Joe Sanigato]

You spit.

[Frank Alvarez]

I spit. I. But I spit. I spit organized. I spit like, in the corner, because I was standing in the corner and I was like. And then, oh, those are the worst, yo. It was because it's like, also my eyes are going, because I'm tearing and my face is turning red.

[Joe Sanigato]

Who are you in the elevator with?

[Frank Alvarez]

Strange human.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but like, age like that. That does make a difference if you're in there with like an old broad.

[Frank Alvarez]

There wasn't old bags with me, but there were people that I don't. I mean, there was like, for the most part, everyone in my building is around the age of like 30 to 55.

[Joe Sanigato]

Tough, honestly, because those are the people that are gonna make fun of you. They're gonna be like, I saw that guy from the basement yard in there, and he was choking and he couldn't swallow.

[Frank Alvarez]

I spit it all over the ground. And I took a picture of it too. Let me see. You want to see it?

[Joe Sanigato]

I kind of do.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it's just. It's just a puddle in my shoes.

[Joe Sanigato]

But you're. But you're with the people next to you, and they're like, not only.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't take a picture of them.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know. But I'm saying, like, not only is this guy choking and just organizationally spitting his own shoes, but they always taking a picture of it.

[Frank Alvarez]

They all were like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, wrong pipe. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I hate when that happens when, like, you drink like something super like with the very specific powering. Yeah, dude.

[Christy]

That.

[Joe Sanigato]

It looks like the water.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not like a small amount of water.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good amount.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cuz I was in the middle of drinking, so it was like the third gulp and then the third gulp was just kind of like hit me in the back of the throat.

[Joe Sanigato]

I hate when it does that with like a Super flavorful liquid. And then you taste that liquid, like a hyper concentrated form of it. That ever happened to you?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, that's happened to me when I've had like, orange juice. Like, I'll like, it'll go down the wrong pipe and then my throat just tastes of orange juice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. It's like, oh, yo, this is orange juice, though.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, exactly like, it's like it's orange juice. The orange juice.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. It's like it's in your bloodstream now or something.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's tough. But. But you were okay? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, physically, yes. Emotionally damaged and embarrassed.

[Joe Sanigato]

Is it people that you had seen before or since?

[Frank Alvarez]

Honestly, like, don't know. I kind of like, in elevators, I'm not like a. Take a look at everyone. I could very well get in the elevator with someone that I know and I wouldn't say anything.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I wouldn't know that they're there. I'm kind of just.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, you're just in your own zone.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I imagine that at that point everyone around is just like, what a fucking piece of shit this.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think they were thinking that and a part of me was debating on, like, do I like, kick this around like a dog? You know what I mean? Like, when a dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

When a dog, like, moves the dirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I'm like, do I like, move this out of the way?

[Joe Sanigato]

Fucking. You know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I didn't know what to do.

[Joe Sanigato]

Choking is one of those things that, like, I have the approach of, like, people are kind of victimized by mental. Not mental, but, like, health issues. Like, something will happen to them. Like, they. They get. They get the cold or something like that. Choking is one of those that. It's just like, I'm the problem if I'm choking.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's so embarrassing to choke.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's why that. I think you should leave. Sketch that they did was so funny where he's choking in front of the, like, celebrity.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like, it's one of those where, like, if someone like falls or bangs their head or scrapes their knee or. Or gets sick or something like that, I'm like, oh, I feel bad for that person when I see them choke. I'm like, figure it out quickly. Or I'm hoping I'm rooting for the choke.

[Frank Alvarez]

Unless. Unless it's like a real choke. Like, it's like a. Then that's terrifying. I don't want to be around.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't want to be around because I.

[Frank Alvarez]

Part of me wants to run away.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'll be Honest, if I don't think I've ever seen someone choking like that. But, like, I would like to think that I would be heroic, but I just don't know if I have it. I'd be too afraid of doing the wrong thing because apparently the Heimlich's not a thing anymore.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no, dude. I'd be fucking beating this person's backup.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, if. If someone else is there, then I'm like, oh, my God, I want to get away from this. If they're like. If I. They need me to help, I'm going over there, obviously, and I'm trying everything, dude. I'm like, heimlich, and I'm slamming their head. I'm.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I'm giving them, like, just put them in, like, a abdominal stretch and just punch their stuff in a full Nelson.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just start kneeing his spine. And, like, I'd be terrified, man.

[Joe Sanigato]

I just. I don't know, because I would be fighting my nature where, like, I want to help and I want to make sure this person's okay. But, like, ew, you freak. You're choking.

[Frank Alvarez]

The only choking that I. That I don't like is.

[Joe Sanigato]

What's that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like when people are like, they. They, like, clear your throat, it's like. And it's just that. And it's like you can't get rid of it, which I'm. I sympathize with the fact that you may have that. I think I told you on the show that someone at dinner. I'm not frank. Not an exaggeration. Not be. Not me being whatever. Nicole was there 45 minutes, and I want to be like, step out.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, step outside and figure this out on the street.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sidewalk.

[Joe Sanigato]

Choking is one of those experiences that it's not. You're not the only person experiencing that medical situation. It's everyone around you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, restaurant. Like, there's food. People are eating. You're coughing. Step out. Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, if you're in, like, a. Like a booth or, like, something like, I don't think it's that bad. But if you're in, like, a crowded restaurant where the tables are, like, the people that are sitting, like, right here, I'll say this. If someone coughs and they're sitting it right there, to me, I'm asking for a new dish. They've coughed on my food.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tiny. It's a small restaurant, but also, we were all sitting at the bar. So he was sitting at the bar, face with the bartender.

[Joe Sanigato]

He was.

[Frank Alvarez]

He was two people down.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, that's That's. That's too close.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Oh. Oh. Figure this out. Yeah. Drink something.

[Joe Sanigato]

But even that sometimes, like, I've had it where it's like, it's not working. So I'll just shove my finger down my throat and, like, try to break up whatever it is. Just in case. I can do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let me ask you a question. Do you think that I'm five years old and I'll just believe everything you say? I don't believe that for a second.

[Joe Sanigato]

You need not believe it for it be the truth.

[Frank Alvarez]

Who is this?

[Joe Sanigato]

It's true. This you've never had. I've had popcorn recently.

[Frank Alvarez]

You shove your fingers down your throat and you mix it up. You're snake in a toilet.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, there have been times, you know, like the, like, shell that is on the kernel of popcorn sometimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

The kernel.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no. But it's like. It's like the outer layer. It's like a. It's like a film that goes around it. I have gotten a piece of that stuck in my throat and I'll go down and I'll just break it off and pull it out. Sometimes, like, you're.

[Frank Alvarez]

First of all, can I say something without you getting offended?

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're a whore.

[Joe Sanigato]

What?

[Frank Alvarez]

No gag reflex whatsoever goes down there. Just fiddles around and gets things out.

[Joe Sanigato]

Honestly, I don't know what it has been lately. I have been gagging lately. I should.

[Frank Alvarez]

In the gay way or.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean in the brushing my teeth way.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you're not gagging, you're, like, gagging?

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, no. Isn't that like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or gagging?

[Joe Sanigato]

Here's the. What's the gag?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no.

[Joe Sanigato]

Isn't that like a Wendy Williams Kiki Palmer thing? Was not the clip. She was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

The gag is right.

[Joe Sanigato]

You weren't there. I've seen those.

[Frank Alvarez]

So it wasn't gay gagging?

[Joe Sanigato]

It was not. It was like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which is different than sexual gagging.

[Joe Sanigato]

Duh, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, duh. Which one were you doing?

[Joe Sanigato]

I was brushing my tongue. Lately, I. I have like 10 seconds, and then if I go even a second over that, it's a. Yeah. So. But lately it has been a little bad. But seriously, if there's something, like, on, like, the, like in there, I'll. If I could break it up, I'll try to break it up. Because sometimes you could, like, feel it right there and you do that thing where, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Does that even try to, like, inch

[Joe Sanigato]

it up the back of your tongue and stuff like that? There was a kid.

[Frank Alvarez]

I Used to know he would stick his pinky in his ear and then like his tongue would be like, it looked like on this side of his mouth and then would make a weird sound and I'd be like, what is that?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think the fucking in the mask. Jim Carrey does that when he like

[Frank Alvarez]

can't hear and he's like, oh, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, I don't, I don't understand people's like horniness with itching their ears or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do get that sometimes because sometimes it feels like a piece of earwax kind of like falls into my canal a little bit. And then my ears get kind of itchy because I'm like, is my voice vibrating and it's like itching my ears So I start smacking right here. I do that because I'm like, I gotta get this thing out of there.

[Joe Sanigato]

This hurts, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, no, no, no, it's back here. Oh, it's like right behind my ear because that's what it feels like, bro. The AC is broken here. I'm gonna be a puddle by the end of this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, we'll be good.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I, I literally just start smacking

[Joe Sanigato]

smack your gills just so I kind of loosen it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I smack my jowls. It's getting hot.

[Joe Sanigato]

It is getting a little toasty in here. Alright. I didn't know. I'll have to try that next time because I've gotten like itches in my ear where it feels like it's like my brain that's needs a scratch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like I normally I do some stuff. Like I do like, like I'm on fucking pcp, you know what I mean? Like I got an ear itch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I start doing that too, but then I start convincing myself that it's a bug and I get real scared

[Joe Sanigato]

that that has happened. Speaking of bug, you hear about this fucking explosive butt bug that's going around?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's other ways to say it for sure. But yes, I do know you're talking about where's a parasite going around that gives you diarrhea? And I just want to say to this parasite, I don't need you to show me how to shit like that.

[Christy]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could do that all on my own. I don't need this parasite.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a, it's a chivalrous parasite. Just like, let me help you out here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Like it's nice to have an excuse as to why there's diarrhea, but like,

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't need you dingle dangle cha cha cha family Says, well, there was a day that we recorded and we got lunch, and the next day I was like, I must have gotten food poisoning. I think I texted you, like that day or a couple days after. I was like, yo, I think I got food poisoning. Because, like, I've been in shambles all morning and like, for the whole day, like, I just. I felt like shit. Like, I felt sick and like.

[Frank Alvarez]

You were in ruin.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was in ruin. I was. I was basically a rubble of a man.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like Athens, Frankie Rubble?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, like. Like Athens. Parts of it, yeah. The Parthenon, but. And then a couple days later, you had. You said, like, I must have been the bratwurst I had at this bar I went to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which was, in hindsight, a mistake.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, did it taste good? It was room temperature, so it wasn't even a hot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, the thing is, like, I went to this place that's like a pop up. It's for the World Cup. They show like the games there. So it's not typically a place where they have food. Yeah, it's like where they have food or like drinks even. Like they set up bars and stuff. So I went there the line for the drink. I literally got there for the USA game. I forgot where they're playing, but they. I got on the line with like seven minutes into the game. I didn't get my drinks until halftime. So I ordered food. When I did that, and then when

[Joe Sanigato]

the food came eventually warm, it was

[Frank Alvarez]

already, like, it was kind of room temperature. That's. So I was like, I'm gonna.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I mean, already it's a cooked hot dog. Like you're. It's bratwurst. Like you're. You're fine. But it turned me up. You thought it was the brat. It wasn't. It's this fucking ass bug.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, we don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think there is a. We can now say with comfort and security that it might have been that.

[Frank Alvarez]

We can say with comfort and security that it may have that it meant we could say with the utmost confidence that it might have been that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, is that not science being able to say, like, I am confident that it might be this answ maybe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

But it's like going around like, and it started at like the beginning of May, and people are like, just reporting it now. It's called like chlorisus propitis or something like that.

[Christy]

Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

I knew a kid in high school named Greek Guy.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, yeah, Cronus. It's like Stan Popolist, something like that. Chloris or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that dude's dad owns a diner.

[Joe Sanigato]

Owns a diner. He also owns three Burberry shirts that he wears on rotation.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And he calls himself a Greek God and he has an omega symbol tattooed. I can keep going.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you can.

[Joe Sanigato]

I should I.

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right. But you were gone. You were in Portugal.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was in Portugal. I. I will say, when you do that. I know you're kind of joking, but it.

[Joe Sanigato]

You are saying words I think is like. I remember our old friend used to say that, I think, to his dad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are we sure we know what it means?

[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, dad. Oh, maybe. I don't know. I mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, did they have a good relationship? Because maybe.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, they had a good relationship with their dad.

[Christy]

Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Remember Manny? Yeah, yeah. He was Portuguese and he would be like. Oh, yeah, you know, he's still Portuguese. I spoke to him, like, a couple of months ago.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. He's got, like, kids and he's doing all right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Look at that.

[Joe Sanigato]

We went to. There was this kid that we knew in high school named Manny who was Portuguese, and he was the only person that we knew that was Portuguese. So naturally, we know everyone that is Portuguese now.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, but. Yeah. So you were crushing it over there. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Had a couple of wines. Had a couple of Pastelinada.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pastelinade. Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

We went to a class.

[Christy]

Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan. It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash. No ID, prescription or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility. That's freedom to be use as directed.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's where you make them o. What was that?

[Joe Sanigato]

That's what they say. Oh, that's a. Wait, so you were making food and shit like that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I just went to a class

[Joe Sanigato]

and we made those pasteli dados.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And we. We've, like, made the custard and. Which, by the way, the process of making custard is kind of gross, isn't it?

[Joe Sanigato]

Just like cold cream that's, like, beaten and to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was beaten cream for sure.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. And, like, you do it over, like, ice, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, you do it over heat and then you take it off the heat eventually. And then you're like, you know, it's.

[Joe Sanigato]

What kind of custard Was it vanilla?

[Frank Alvarez]

Whatever the yellow one is, it was, like, kind of lemon. That was. We put lemon. We put a cinnamon in it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you starting to go back and you're liking lemon pastries now?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, like, they're not my favorite. I don't like. I don't like. Like, key lime pie. I'm like.

[Joe Sanigato]

I had legit key lime pie when we were in Key west, and it was, like, good. It's not like what you expect, like, where it's just like, that's lime, but it's cold. Like, it's. It tastes. It's more. There's more depth to it than that.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's the shit called? The thing that used to look like my old hair. What's that called?

[Joe Sanigato]

A meringue.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, that meringue. Why do they do so much of that? Let's get more cake in this.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, the French are. I know you weren't in France, and I know we're not talking about the French. I'm gonna bring them up, though, because they came up with meringues, I think.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did they?

[Joe Sanigato]

They're so up their own butt about food.

[Christy]

Dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

About meringue. Dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

They love meringues out there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm good.

[Joe Sanigato]

And they're like, we're going to taste it. A mooring. I don't know who that was.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was literally not an accent that exists in the world.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, we are going to test this. Meringue. That's better.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's better.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a little bit better.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

But I don't know. Do you ever see the, like, paste? They're like desserts, but they're like hard meringue. And you like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't that called something?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't that a. Who's the shit that you spit all over the table? Fuck.

[Joe Sanigato]

What was that called?

[Frank Alvarez]

Pavlova.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pavlova.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. No, that's. That's like a cake. That's like a cream and fruit.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it?

[Christy]

Because that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought that was, like, hot. It's like, it feels like a. What's that called? Silicone.

[Joe Sanigato]

Silicone? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like pavlova.

[Joe Sanigato]

Pavlova. I think it's like a. It's like a dessert dish. It's not like, the thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, whatever is part of that. That's the thing that you spit all over the table.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't like how you're saying that. I know, I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't like how you did it with your actions, because I was sitting across from you getting hit with debris.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right, can you. Can I talk now, please.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Now we got to get off it.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is from Sally's Baking Addiction.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is that, a website?

[Joe Sanigato]

Website I refuse to use, like, Gemini. AI Answers. Is a dessert popular in New Zealand and Australia? Give me an accent.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it? What?

[Joe Sanigato]

A dessert popular in New Zealand and Australia. All right. It's not as common here as in the States. Made from egg whites that are slowly baked into a relatively cool oven. Egg whites.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just a lot of egg whites.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's mainly fresh whipped cream and piles of fresh fruit in, like, a cake.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, that's a pavlova.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. So I don't even know what I'm talking about that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, I think meringue is in there somewhere. That's what the egg whites are. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Have you ever made one in, like, a.

[Frank Alvarez]

In, like, a really fast mixer?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, they're cool, and they're like. They're good when they're peaking.

[Frank Alvarez]

What does that mean?

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, if it comes to a peak, Like. Oh, kind of like shaving cream.

[Christy]

Oh.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm saying, like, they're edging. Have, like, meringues to be, like. They're good when they're right there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Don't go too far. What are the. When you're cooking and they got the white.

[Joe Sanigato]

When they folding. Yeah, but the.

[Frank Alvarez]

The tool. I'm talking about the utensil. Like, the white rubber.

[Joe Sanigato]

Where you're like, rubber spatula.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, they're. They're. I've seen them. Rubber spatulas.

[Frank Alvarez]

So that thing, right, that it looks like kind of like a dolphin's face, you know, not a beluga whale's face. Kind of. You know what I mean?

[Joe Sanigato]

Kind of.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean?

[Joe Sanigato]

Kinda.

[Frank Alvarez]

For some reason, when I see those, I'm like, those are delicious. Because I always, like. I'm talking about the utensil I find delicious. I chewed on one. But I find those amazing because when I was. Not amazing, but, like, when I was younger and my mom would make cake, she would always just, like, hand it to me and I would lick it. Yeah. Because it would have, like, which, in hindsight, I'm not supposed to be eating raw egg, Mom. But now whenever I see one, I'm like, whatever's on that I want to lick.

[Joe Sanigato]

There's a guy on TikTok that makes, like, pastries, but he'll make them out of, like, He'll. He'll make, like, his own, like, jellies and fruit syrups and stuff like that. And he has that thing where he just fucking scrapes and folds and it just fucking shits on itself and stuff like that. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah, that's just nice. Or the guy that makes his chocolate, he basically, he'll be like, I'm gonna make a chocolate baseball bat, but he'll make it look like a butthole.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yo, that guy's incredible.

[Joe Sanigato]

What? He does mad good.

[Frank Alvarez]

But also he's a chocolatier.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's. He definitely is. But also very horny, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah. Well, he's not. He like. Yeah, he started throwing that horny thing in like later on.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, at first he was like, yo, I'm just about to chocolate. But now it's like, we're gonna make it look like a dong before we get it to look like Super Mario.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's the exact one. Because I was scrolling one day and like, Ruby saw like the guy, like melting chocolate and this caption said like, for the Super Mario Galaxy movie. And I was like, all right, let's watch this. And he's making like a full asshole and like fingering the splattering it. And I'm trying to show Ruby a chocolate Super Mario.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm like, yo, dude, take an. Ari, take it easy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I will say, I think that it does add to the retention of the video because a part of it, it's like two videos in one. Because at the end you're going to get something like, you know, it's like a train set, but in the beginning you're like, is this a squid getting sucked off or something? And then he. Then he starts painting and you're like, oh, okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I didn't. I didn't get that at all. I thought, I thought. I think he's trying to like, lean into. Like, I can make some cool stuff with chocolate, but I'm going to make you. I'm going to peek you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, while I'm doing it, it's

[Frank Alvarez]

like I'm going to clickbait you a little bit with like some. Some potentially vagina looking stuff.

[Joe Sanigato]

Definitely. Would you ever, like, get like a chocolate, like, mold of your face or something? There's also company. You could do like chocolate molds of your asshole and your penis.

[Frank Alvarez]

I saw that. I mean, you could definitely mold your, your. Your ding dong for sure. Yeah, I've seen those. I've never done that though.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've never have either. But like, how I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just afraid that when it's done and I just like, put it down. I'm gonna go now.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let me ask you the Age old question. Here's the age old question.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know that I want to see it detach from me.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's fair.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean?

[Joe Sanigato]

That is super fair. Like I. I've gotten to know my pen of me. I seeing it like over there, I'll be like, yeah, you know. Yeah, exactly.

[Frank Alvarez]

Huh?

[Joe Sanigato]

Exactly.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like I can look down at it, but the second we're eye level I'm

[Joe Sanigato]

gonna be like, well, why are you getting down to it's. You mean like it's on your plate, on your table? Like. Like here?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like closer to my eye level, but I'm looking like I'm looking down?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I. I guess. But here's the age old question. And this is a serious.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have you ever looked up at your penis? Have you ever looked up at it?

[Joe Sanigato]

How would I do that? Like I'm hanging upside down like a. What? Why would I be in that position?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just saying. Have you?

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think so.

[Frank Alvarez]

Should we do that? Not together.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, go into the other room. I'll close my eyes and just give me an idea. Of what?

[Frank Alvarez]

The other room that he's pointing to isn't a room. This is one room.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, there's a wall there. A wall here. There's curtains over there where you guys film opl. You can go behind the curtain. I guess I'll see it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not gonna do that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Why not?

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I don't know that I want to. I was just asking if you have.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think I have. I think for dexterity purposes. By the way, this is a weekly episode.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're fine.

[Joe Sanigato]

We're all right. Ant can't stop us.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's fine. Make them blow me again.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think you should. I think you should go behind this wall, lay on the concrete ground and just look up. And just look up at your wing.

[Frank Alvarez]

My wing?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think you should. I mean you're not gonna.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not gonna know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay. The question I was going to ask the age old question.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

If you were to get a chocolate mold of your penis.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And you eat it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are you gay?

[Frank Alvarez]

Hell no. First of all, I ate my. My flesh. Real penis. In my dream.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but that was a dream that wasn't like actually happening.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gay because I'm eating my own chocolate dick. No, I agree.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, I don't think. I think if it's chocolate and you can try it. But like, remember, like Spencer's would have like gummy penises or like, you know, bachelorette parties.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would eat those. I don't care.

[Joe Sanigato]

They'll be like, woo, we got pasta and it's shaped like a cock.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I would eat that. I don't care.

[Joe Sanigato]

You don't care?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I just wouldn't. You know, I don't think it's gay unless I take this chocolate thing and I like, you know, make love to it all the time and I marry it and I am in a relationship with it now. Then I'd be gay.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay, that's not where I thought it was gonna go.

[Frank Alvarez]

What'd you think I was gonna say?

[Joe Sanigato]

I thought you were just gonna stop at the eating it, but then you went on with the full on relationship.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean. Yeah, that's what it is.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I, I, I mean I probably love.

[Frank Alvarez]

Baby.

[Joe Sanigato]

It absolutely is. Love is gay. Gay is love. We all be loving gay.

[Frank Alvarez]

How about that?

[Joe Sanigato]

Gay is my love.

[Frank Alvarez]

It absolutely is. Snapped right into.

[Joe Sanigato]

I got called out by a gay guy. Just stop there, okay? No, I, I, I, I don't wanna. Eric Sedano, he does the web podcast and he posted a clip of us talking on the show. And he's like, you did the thing where it was like word association years ago and you said gay. And I said me? And I was like, yeah, all right. You know, but he called you out on that. He was, it was a joke. We were like, it's like gotcha journalism. But the Internet kind of ships us as like gay icons.

[Frank Alvarez]

Icons. I don't think we're gay icons. I think that we're galleys.

[Joe Sanigato]

A big galley, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, just take the G out of it. I'm an ally all the way. Because if you just say this is the G, you're forgetting the lesbians, the B, the T, the Q's, the I's, the A's.

[Frank Alvarez]

Are lesbians not gay? They're gay.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think they are by act gay, but they wouldn't by act. Yeah. What makes you gay is going through with it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. I was thinking by act. I was thinking of a play. No, like which?

[Joe Sanigato]

Act two.

[Frank Alvarez]

Act two lesbians.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like, would you act as this?

[Joe Sanigato]

I, I have, I can ask, I have a lesbian friend. I can ask her if she considers.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get that lesbian on the horn.

[Joe Sanigato]

We're gonna figure this thing out.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're gonna miss bust this thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Miss bust it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that what I said?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I think that like all lesbians are gay, but not all gays are lesbians. Just like frogs and toads.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm really gonna stop you before that starts again. Honestly, we do have some sponsors for today. This one right here. How you doing? What a lovely sound.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'll try it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm getting creamed here. Don't say anything. We have a new sponsor on the podcast, which is Olipop. Olipop is amazing. Okay. This stuff, I have a fridge separate from my actual fridge in my apartment. It's stocked with Olipop Rich guy.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's stocked with Olipop. I love it, but it is great. You know, instead of having, like, other sodas that are, like, super high in sugar and all these calories, you have these. This one in particular, 40 calories. The biggest thing about it. And this is why I'm a big fan of Olipop. This one has 6 grams of dietary fiber. Okay. Need your fiber. There was, like, a study that came out that not a lot of people are getting their fiber intake. So right here, ladies and gentlemen. Okay, get that. But Olipop, it's amazing. It is full of flavor and digestive health support. So it'll support you. It says right here on the thing, supports digestive health. That fiber, it's going to help you out. And it tastes really good. This is cream soda. Nostalgic for me. Love cream soda. Frank's got a root beer over there. Brilliant. Big fan of that as well. These are two. These are probably my faves. I'll be honest. When they're like, we'll send you a pack. Which ones you want? I'm like, send my favorites here. Root beer and cream. They're the best.

[Joe Sanigato]

Didn't ask about my favorites.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're high fiber, less sugar than traditional soda. Functional ingredients, real ingredients. All right, so. But, yeah, they are great. But you can get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one. Okay. But you can go to drinkolipop.com basement right now. It's also available in stores, so if you want to go to any of the aisles where they have, like, the drinks and whatnot, you'll see Olipop there. Pull it off the shelf. Okay. I'm an Olipop truther. When other people were jumping ship and trying to go to other ones. No, I was here all day. Olipop is the one. It's got the fiber in it. It's good for you. Having the fiber is good for you. Get that. Get in your body.

[Joe Sanigato]

What someone call you the alipapa I'm the alipapa. The alipapa is here. Prince Joey, fabulous. He ali a papa.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's good.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's really good.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's great. Wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

I like that a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

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[Joe Sanigato]

Hey, guys, it's me and I want to talk to you about Patreon. I'm sorry, I can't do it, honestly. Patreon, it's me, it's Frank. I want to talk to you about Patreon. Come on over. I'm going to put my arm around you. My proverbial. Actually, it's a literal arm around the proverbial you. Sorry, I've had caffeine. Patreon.com the basement yard. You guys. You little rascals. You got us to over 50, 000 paid patrons. Oh, my God. I could scream right now, but it's very hot in here and I might pass out. Thank you guys so much. That has put us on the leaderboards. I think we're like three in the world on overall. Patreon. You guys are absolutely crushing us. The support is so incredibly amazing and we are seriously, eternally grateful. Thank you guys so much. If you are not a patron, go over to patreon.com take a gander. Go take a look. There's different tiers there. Find the tier that works for you. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. So if you see the clip Circumflex like, oh my God, that must be from a new episode. Where can I find it? You could find it early on patreon.com and then that second tier you find exclusive episodes. Oh, dirty, filthy, rotten exclusive episodes every single Friday. So there's never a week without us. You're going, you're going only a couple days at most three days, four days. And then with Santa got a studios a couple days at OPL. A couple days. Listen, patreon.com is where you can get more of us and more of us quicker, which some people like. I whatever. That's their prerogative. Go to patreon.com the basement yard. Check it out. Thank you guys to getting us to over 50, 000 paid patrons. Seriously, we want to continue to give you guys what you like, which apparently is more of us. So thank you. And if you're going to do it, you want to save yourself a couple bucks, don't use the smart app. Go and do it on a web browser, okay? That way you could save yourself some extra money because the tech overlords are going to want to take some extra money from you if you use the app. So patreon.com the basement yard thank you guys so much. And as Joey mentioned, SantaGadoStudios.com is going to be our new hub for merch. Go check it out. The new soccer jerseys, football jerseys are going to be available there as well as some other stuff that's dropping. We're really excited for it. We hope you guys are too. So. Santagatastudios.com and sorry, there's just so much to get to. I've got work to do. The live shows. We're back. We got some live shows lined up for you. I can't as of recording speak to what is still available, but if you go to the basementyard.com you can click around, see if we're coming to a city near you and see if there are some shows available. There are some places where we added second shows. So go check it out. The Basementyard.com Patreon.com the Basement Yard Senegato Studios. Do your homework. Type away back to it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, buddy. Let me ask you a question about cooking. We're talking about it before because you were making. Yeah, we're making a pastel. De nada. By the way, I yet again, this happens to me every Single time. This is a different topic, by the way. Every single time that I go to Europe and I come back home, I'm like, I hate the fact that I can't speak another language. It drives me insane.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, you could. You could use, like, apps to.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've done that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Kind of learn.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just. I fall off and I don't.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's a lot to keep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, it does help, for sure, but, like. And I. I know, like, a decent amount of Spanish, so I'm like, I just want to. Like, a part of me is like, maybe I'll just, like, hire a tutorial. And I mean, once a week, talk for, like, an hour.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that, like, it can only benefit you. One, because you travel. Two, like, learning a different language. It. It kind of boosts your brain activity and keeps you fresh and stuff like that. It could be pretty cool. Like, would you.

[Christy]

You.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, oh, my God, if I was fluent before you, that would be insane.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, there's. I don't think there's a reality where I'm fluent in anything. I'm barely speaking English properly at this point. I could see if I were you, though, I would do Spanish and Italian, because those seem like more Two. They're very closely related.

[Frank Alvarez]

Sure. I mean, like. Well, the reason why I even brought this up, because while I was in Portugal, my driver, for one of the days, we, like, hired a driver to take us to wineries. Responsible.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good job.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, Hills.

[Joe Sanigato]

Good job.

[Frank Alvarez]

He didn't really speak a lot of English, which everyone there spoke a lot. Like a fala.

[Joe Sanigato]

Portuguese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah. Which is what I. Isn't. That doesn't mean I don't speak Portuguese.

[Joe Sanigato]

That means speak Portuguese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh. Oh, now follow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now follow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Now follow. Portuguese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. That means I don't speak. But he. He was trying, but it was tough, and he was, like, speaking Portuguese, and I was just like, fuck. Because usually, like, if someone's doing that and they're speaking Spanish, I can understand them for the most part. But I was like, damn, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, I got nothing here. Do you ever feel like a filthy American, Frank? All the time.

[Frank Alvarez]

All of the time. I'm embarrassed to talk out loud.

[Joe Sanigato]

I just want you to know this is a byproduct of.

[Frank Alvarez]

And we're live on match day as Doug reaches for a buffalo wing.

[Joe Sanigato]

He's got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, and he's gone for a can of Pepsi, too.

[Joe Sanigato]

What a finish.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi.

[Joe Sanigato]

The. The World cup being here the Rest of the world is seeing that. Yes, our country's insane, but the people are mostly good and kind. Dude, I have been crying so hard at these videos. Did you see the one? The guy from Belgium crying or Germany. I don't remember which is them. Well, I'm not confusing the places. I don't remember if the individual was

[Frank Alvarez]

from Germany or Belgium, but the flags look similar.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. Please don't. Please. I'm not. If anyone get. I don't want to offend anyone over there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I'd like to offend Belgium. First of all, fuck Belgium. We play them.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know we do.

[Frank Alvarez]

So now I'm over it.

[Joe Sanigato]

So they knocked us the last time that we got. Last time, I believe it was with Tim Howard. I saw the picture, like, the graphic the other day. I think it was 20.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that was not the last World Cup.

[Joe Sanigato]

No. Because they didn't make the last.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right, right.

[Joe Sanigato]

It was the one before that, which I was there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was at Rockies when that happened. And there was a. There was a.

[Joe Sanigato]

This is gonna be good. This is gonna be really good. The last time we played Belgium, I think I remember what the story.

[Frank Alvarez]

There was a little person.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yep.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dressed as Uncle Sam.

[Christy]

Huh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Standing on the bar, pouring shots into my mouth. And that was one thing that happened a lot. And then the other thing was there was a girl there, and she said, if the. You. If the US Wins, I'll show everyone in here my tits, titties.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And we lost. She did it anyway.

[Joe Sanigato]

She let it rip anyway.

[Frank Alvarez]

Which I think that the bar appreciated because it was like. It was a somber moment.

[Joe Sanigato]

Let the record show I hated that bar, Rockies. So I was not there, but it

[Frank Alvarez]

was a great vibe for the US Game.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, what has been happening is, like, for those that don't live in America. Let me explain something to you. We are insane, but we are mostly good people, but a lot of us are also really stupid. And people confuse the stupidity with being bad. I guess at certain points you can blame stupidity for being bad, but you're seeing these people at the World cup, traveling here in North America, and it's like they're just. They're having good times because, like, for the most part, people are nice, but there's also a lot of stupid people.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, we just got bad pr. We do.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean. I mean. But the PR has also been put in the position because of some of the stupid people. And I'm not saying all people that vote a certain way are stupid. I just think that they refuse to acknowledge that maybe they're wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm disconnected from the point.

[Joe Sanigato]

The point.

[Frank Alvarez]

I see what you're saying. I'm saying, like, because I've seen people saying that too, where they're like, you know, I think that I had expectations of what the US Is going to be like. And it's like, completely. Everyone's super nice, it's awesome, and blah, blah, blah. People say that about, like, New Yorkers too, where they're like, you think that they're so mean and this and that, but everyone's been pretty accommodating and whatnot.

[Joe Sanigato]

So, yeah, I think the point that I was trying to make is that, like, yes, as a country, we are sometimes often what the caricatures depict us as. Giant hamburgers, a trash can of nachos. You know, beer that is measured by feet.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, not by, you know, volume or ten foot beer. Yeah, let me get a nine foot beer case. But like, we are also, when you get to see some of the people, pretty nice.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, but the point that I was trying to make originally is I think that you could and probably should just. Just pick up a language. I know. I. I don't want to make. I don't want to spend your time for you because I know you're very busy and you work a lot, but, like, in your spare time, if you could just scroll and try to learn something.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do, I do.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, so what is the three languages you'd want to learn? Like, Legit3 is outrageous.

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to learn. I just want to be like, I want to learn Spanish.

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I. Because that's the one that I have experience with. So I'm like, I want to just get better at that to the point where I could be very conversational.

[Joe Sanigato]

So when you. When you yell at Hispanic people in New York, you know what you're yelling at them.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, when I yell at Spanish people, no more than anything, I feel like with the way I look, if. If you go into a place and this actually happened at the. Where I got the bratwurst. But the food was taking forever. And some of the workers there were Spanish dudes. And Daniela was there, Margo's wife, and she's Colombian. And I was like, yo, you should start. And she's like, yeah, because she. She's like, as soon as she went over, she's like, I'm gonna ask him where the food's at. And then she came back. I'm like, did you speak to him in Spanish?

[Joe Sanigato]

She's like, yeah, well, yeah, because, like,

[Frank Alvarez]

Then we got it immediately.

[Joe Sanigato]

If the whitey comes up to the Hispanic workers in the kitchen, and they're like, excuse me. Hola. Donde estami comida? Like, they're just gonna be like, fuck this person.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

But if you go up and you're like, in. You're in the club, and they'll just be like, all right. You know, because there's a shared experience.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, that's why when she walked over and talked to him, I was

[Frank Alvarez]

like, you speak to him in Spanish? She was like, yeah. And then right back with the food, I was like, if I walked over and said that in English, there's no way.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. I try to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like.

[Joe Sanigato]

It depends. I don't get that opportunity a lot, but actually, Miles called me out for it the other day. We're like, you're gonna kill me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. Is this Karen Frank?

[Joe Sanigato]

No, it's not Karen Frank. It's the opposite. It's New York Frank, where we went to the Yankee game, and it was like a Hispanic dude that, like, at the gate of the parking lot, and I pulled up and he's like, you gotta pass. I was like, yeah, no problem, Big Dog. And Miles was like, who is that, Big Dog?

[Frank Alvarez]

No problem, Big Dog.

[Joe Sanigato]

Miles was like, why did you do that? I was like, you don't get it. It's a New York thing, dude. You're from Jersey. You don't get it. So it's like. He's like, you gotta pass, Big Dog. No problem, Big Dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Big Dog is great.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then him and Becca were making fun of me, and they were just like, uh, oh, here's New York Frank. Yeah, but, like, it is like, if you. If you're. If you're from the place and you can be in the. In the club. Be in the club, you might get treated, like, a little bit better because they'll just be like, oh, here's another guy with Jersey plates coming. But it's like, no, I'm from. We're one in the same, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I did twice in a row? I. I don't know why I did this, Honestly. I think that is.

[Christy]

Whatever.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're not moving. But we went and looked at an apartment recently.

[Christy]

Mm.

[Frank Alvarez]

And just. Cause we were like, ah. Like, for fun, whatever. And we. We went and saw this place, and I called the guy when I was outside, and he picked up, and he said, hello. And I said, how's up? Like that. And he said. And I was like, oh, yeah, we're outside, right?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then we're waiting outside. Then he opens the door. I did it again.

[Joe Sanigato]

How's that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't remember. There was, like, two different versions of it, but it was basically that I was trying to combine, like, three different greetings at the same time.

[Joe Sanigato]

I did that the other. And I accidentally. I was gonna say, like, oh, what do you do? You know, like, I was meeting people through, like, the work opportunity thing, and, like, he was like, oh, what do you do? You know, like, for work here, like, what's your role? And how's it going? So I asked, how do you do?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that works.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know. And I stopped, and the guy was just like, I'm good. But, like, how do you do? Is hilarious.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cause it's like, yo, this is mad British, yo.

[Joe Sanigato]

Mad British. And, like, it's people that knew, like, know us. Yeah. So, like, they don't expect to hear, how do you do?

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you do?

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, at that point, I had to fully, like, yeah. Buy into.

[Frank Alvarez]

Get a. Wear a top hat.

[Joe Sanigato]

All right. I think you should learn Spanish.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. You're going further, which it doesn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, like, if you're with Spanish, you kind of can pull off Italian and, like, probably adjacent Portuguese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, I'll tell you this. That language doesn't feel very similar to Spanish at all, really. At least to me, which, like, I. I have a basic understanding of Spanish. So, like, there are certain words that I guess look similar, but there's a lot that's different.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I wonder who are the. The Portuguese, like, conquered by? Because that's what. That's. You could trace the lineage of, like, the language that way. Like, because, like, the Spanish in South America, they were, like, conquered by Spain, you know?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So, like, what is Portugal?

[Frank Alvarez]

Who Are you asking me? Who is Portugal conquering?

[Joe Sanigato]

I do not know that you'd be able to figure. I imagine it was, like, the Italians or the Spanish, and it just kind of moved into its own dialect.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do know a little bit of Italian, and sometimes that messes up the Spanish because, like, they are similar.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So, like, sometimes the words feel the same.

[Joe Sanigato]

But, yeah, from what I remember learning Spanish there, some of the words are, like, the exact same words, just pronounced differently.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I gotta start doing just, like, watching in Spanish and, like, listening to Spanish, like, you gotta just, like, immerse yourself.

[Joe Sanigato]

You can't.

[Frank Alvarez]

You.

[Joe Sanigato]

You won't be able. What are you.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I'm not gonna understand. No. But. Yeah, not that. But, like, I think that would just help to be hearing it all the time. I Don't know. Isn't that what people do? Isn't that how babies learn? They're just around it.

[Joe Sanigato]

They are. That is weird, isn't it? Some babies could just be around. Spanish speaking, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I was thinking about walking around Portugal. I'm like, dog knows Portuguese.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, the dog, the animals. It screws me up, too, because I'm like, it's not a. It's a. It's the same dog that we have over here, but it just hears Portuguese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Like, it. No, but it knows a language. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, yeah, me up. Do you see cool dogs over there?

[Frank Alvarez]

Didn't see a lot of dogs, to be honest.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

No. Birds.

[Joe Sanigato]

Birds, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hella birds.

[Joe Sanigato]

They're flying around and singing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo. One night went to. Because it was. It was like a festival over there that weekend. But I went to dinner, and we were sitting at this table that was kind of like half outside, half inside type of thing. And there was a river right behind us, and there's just like, an area with a lot of people kind of like hang out. Just like shops and shit, like, near the water. Yeah. And in the middle of the dinner, all these fucking drones showed up, and it was like a drone show.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where they started spitting out purple smoke. And I was like, what the fuck? That's kind of cool, bro. I was scared.

[Joe Sanigato]

Drones are scary because there are two lined up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, they're lined up perfectly. And I'm like, a gun on. This is. We're all dead. You know what I'm saying?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, you are at that point, you're at the mercy of those drones, and.

[Frank Alvarez]

And, like, they're so small, and they're just like all. They're just. It's very uniform. Like, they all move together. And I'm like, I don't like that. Like, it feels like.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like, the government's here.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like Stepford Wives. Remember that. That. That movie?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Where, like, they're all. All, like. It's like, something's going on here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I just was like, oh, God, these drones are like, you know, I wouldn't like that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I've seen, like, people do, like. They do, like, drone shows at, like, Disney and stuff now where it'll be like, oh, look, there's, you know, Moana in the sky. And it's like, I don't understand that. It's cool. But, like, well, they can just sync up the drones and I'm sure write a code. So this one goes there, this one goes there, this one goes there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know it's freaky. But then it's like, yo. I don't know. Like, this is like. If they had a lot more of those, what would we do?

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, they have a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

They do.

[Joe Sanigato]

They have a lot.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm sure. And we do use them in a. In a war.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, in war. In war fashion.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I'm just, like. It kind of freaked me out. Like, I'm sitting there and I'm like. I'm just.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm just at the mercy of the drone.

[Joe Sanigato]

You absolutely are. And at least you know that. Where do you. Where do you even hide? I just. From a drone? Just behind a locked door? Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

In the forest, you know, they can't go through those trees.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll just walk around with nets.

[Joe Sanigato]

That's a great idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or like that gun that shoots a net.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, like the big one that, like, it shoots out like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that real?

[Joe Sanigato]

I can't imagine it. If you're like a dumbass deer or something. It's real.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? I don't believe in that. If I'm being chased by a cowboy, they might get. He can lasso me.

[Joe Sanigato]

Get the fuck out of yo.

[Frank Alvarez]

If anything, there's no way.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're probably easier to lasso than a fucking bull or any other animal because you're running your fucking pencil. You're running like this, and they just get it around you and then pull it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would, like, just can't believe. I don't believe in that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'm kind of on board with you, but the minute I take a second to think about it, I would be lassoed very quickly.

[Frank Alvarez]

But do you think that I can't juke a lasso?

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, if we were in, like, a. Well, here's the thing. You're not juking a lasso, is you. You would have to juke the horse that the lasso were. Is on, which you ain't doing that, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

I could juke a horse.

[Joe Sanigato]

You could juke a horse?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think. I mean, they're definitely.

[Joe Sanigato]

Joey, you're not fucking Ladanian Tomlinson. You're not juking a horse.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it hard to juke a horse? I'm not trying to pull a U here, but I like. How hard is it to juke a horse?

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, I imagine because, like, have you ever seen.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're not like, going side aside?

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, I've seen horses when they, like, kick up their back legs, they can kind of like, whip them around a little bit like they're there they don't run like that, brother. I think you, I don't think you're, you're juking a horse and I think if there's a cowboy on it with a long ass rope, they'll, they'll for sure lasso you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd be, I honestly would be like astounded if I'm being chased by a guy on a horse and he was able to put this lasso around me and then hop off the horse and hog tie me. What the fuck?

[Joe Sanigato]

Here's the thing. I am both on your side and off of your side. I am, I believe that. Like, I'm not getting fucking lassoed. But also, like I said, you're, you're a 5 foot 10 individual. Running like you're running straight up. If anything, they just gotta make a rope wider than your shoulders.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess it is about the big circle.

[Joe Sanigato]

It's about the circle and it like falls like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But here's the thing down on you

[Joe Sanigato]

and then they whip it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but they have to get that timing right because with a bull all you got to do is get it around its head and it stays there.

[Joe Sanigato]

But that's, I imagine, harder to do than a human because a bull is running like this. And here's the head. You're running like this, brother. So they just need to get it down like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but once it starts going down. Yeah. I don't know.

[Joe Sanigato]

Would we know any fucking cowboys?

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know any cowboys or cowpersons.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't. I want to make sure I'm being incredibly inclusive there. Yeah, they could be whatever they want to be. I really want to step in one of those traps where it's like rope on the ground and you step on it and it just fucking.

[Frank Alvarez]

I do have a question. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do. I want to be trapped. I love booby traps. I. Dude, like, I'm like, I'm not going to lie. I'm obsessed. When I was younger, I was obsessed with two things. Booby traps and lava.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you got me around a volcano, I was picking it up and playing with it in my head. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bad idea. I am.

[Frank Alvarez]

I want to be trapped. Trap doors.

[Joe Sanigato]

I want to be trapped in some capacity in a cage and. But like, just for the sake of me, just call it a booby trap.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, don't call it like, oh, this is an old timey, like prison trap. I don't know. But like, give me a booby. Call it the booby.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I'm walking through the forest and something catches my leg and hangs me upside down. Scared, but love it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I love when they create. When they like walk over a pile of leaves and it's just a giant net that closes in and brings them up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would pay money to go on that.

[Joe Sanigato]

I kind of would too. We should, we should come up with a business idea for like an amusement park or a section of an amusement park where you're just getting trapped in things like kind of like Legends of the Hidden Temple, but of its traps.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I'm not. No. You know, why not? It's called traps. Yeah. I don't know that you can enjoy anything without trying to turn it into a business.

[Joe Sanigato]

Listen, man, every time you have something

[Frank Alvarez]

that you like, you're like, let's just make money off capitalism.

[Joe Sanigato]

Am I not?

[Frank Alvarez]

You're right about the Americans. Capitalism.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, capitalism is a disease. I, I have been forced fed the thinking that I have to turn anything and every hobby I have into a money making opportunity.

[Frank Alvarez]

Even getting trapped.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, trap doors. You're gonna tell me if there was an experience where they're like, yo, 60 bucks. You walk through a 20 minute like walkthrough, like kind of like Halloween horror nights or something like that. Those like scary mazes.

[Frank Alvarez]

But you'll get fucking trapped. You'll get trapped, but then it's over. The first traps got you.

[Joe Sanigato]

No, no, no. You get trash for like 10 seconds. You're like, whoa. And then you go on to the next trap.

[Christy]

Right?

[Joe Sanigato]

Come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, I don't now. I don't hate it.

[Joe Sanigato]

It'd be a trap door into a slide that'll bring you to the next room.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, would you go on one of those, those water rides where you're kind of like in the thing and they shut it and it's like the floor falls out and you slide it out 1 million percent.

[Joe Sanigato]

I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

That looks so sick.

[Joe Sanigato]

We at Splish Splash, we went on like that really, really tall one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

That is crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

I have not been on that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Were you not with.

[Frank Alvarez]

They had a smaller one that I did. Oh, you were the one that's 150ft in the air. I'm like, good.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes. Loved it. I could only do something like that if I like if there was no line so I didn't have to think about it. And I could just go up and just go, oh.

[Joe Sanigato]

But like, if I have any line

[Frank Alvarez]

waiting, if I'm standing in line waiting and then you're going up slowly and like. Yeah, we're getting higher. We're getting higher like a freak.

[Joe Sanigato]

What doesn't help those rides is the buzzer to like you can send the next person. Just sounds like, you know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like they didn't make it.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, like make it like woohoo, next up. Or something more inviting than. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

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[Joe Sanigato]

I actually saw something that you kind of. You brought up something that made me think of it before. But last week in our county, one of the towns was doing a fair, like a affair like you know, rides and shit like that. Have you ever like done one of those like games where like you have to throw the ring on a bottle or like pop balloons with a dart? Yeah, of course, bro. When's the last time you did that? Oh, when's the last time you went to a fair?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like 10 years ago? Really?

[Joe Sanigato]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I stopped by wanting to get deep fried Oreos.

[Joe Sanigato]

Hell yeah, bro. I face fucked a funnel cake.

[Frank Alvarez]

Fuck yeah, dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

And got oysters which was a crazy thing to get it mixed.

[Frank Alvarez]

You went to a fair and got oysters.

[Joe Sanigato]

I went to a fair, I got hot dog, Mr. Softy and Oysters. And I ate them. In that order.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey, what's going on with your body? How are you even alive today? Does your stomach not look at you and go, what are you doing?

[Joe Sanigato]

Here's the thing. My stomach can't hurt if it always hurts. Is that a baseline of hurting?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's called torture.

[Joe Sanigato]

Damn right it is, baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mr. Softy, a hot dog and oysters.

[Joe Sanigato]

So we went a couple days, which, honestly, one day I had two hot dogs, six oysters, a shrimp cocktail, nachos, empanadas, Mr. Softy, and a funnel cake.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whoa.

[Joe Sanigato]

That is so, like, it doesn't count if you're at a fair because you're walking the whole time.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's an interesting theory that I think is not true.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but, like, it's like, when you're on vacation, calories don't count. On vacation.

[Frank Alvarez]

Right.

[Joe Sanigato]

You're at a fair. Same exact thing exactly. You know what I'm saying? The point that I'm trying to make is they had those, like, carnival games, you know, like the boardwalk games, Whatever they are. Like, spray the water, pop the balloon, yada, yada, yada, bro. You don't win anything anymore. They have signs on them that says, this is a store, and you pay for whatever prize you want, and then you can just play the game. Isn't that insane? The goddamn libs have ruined Boardwalk. No, that's crazy, dude. I like.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's the point of playing?

[Joe Sanigato]

Just to. Just to get the thing. You don't even need to play. You can just say, I want that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't mean to be. This is the most boomer thing that I've probably said in a very long time. Nobody correct me, but isn't that, like,

[Joe Sanigato]

bad for, like, a child? I mean, I think you could just get it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just get it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I get the biggest thing I think it is. And, like, yes, I agree. Like, I was fighting my nature because there's a part of me that's just like, all right, I'm sure this has something to do with gambling. And, like, that's not good for kids at that age to experience.

[Frank Alvarez]

What's gambling?

[Joe Sanigato]

If you're paying to play a game that you might lose, like, to get a stuffed fucking dog or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, that's not gambling. You're competing.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that the justification is that they are probably saying that it's something with gambling. Like, same thing Happened with like, oh,

[Frank Alvarez]

now we don't love gambling this country.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, apparently not New Jersey. Apparently not. But I saw it had a sign on it said, this is a store and each of the things that had like a price. So like, if you want that stuffed animal, it's a $20 instead of 10. So you pay $20 to play. You play the game and you get the stuffed animal.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's outrageous.

[Joe Sanigato]

I kind of agree.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's outrageous.

[Joe Sanigato]

Are we being boomers if we're just like, you kind of need some competition Back into it. Of course.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's the whole point.

[Joe Sanigato]

I was, I could not believe it. I felt like, oh, maybe I'm just old and washed up.

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like, like it's fun to be competitive and to like, earn it.

[Joe Sanigato]

I. I agree.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you're raising. Like, that's like a, you know, people complain about like rich kids or like silver spoon type of thing. It's like, how is that different than that? When it's just like, well, we could just buy the thing and this doesn't matter. Yeah, we're. So you don't have to earn it. We'll just buy it. It's like, what's the fun in that?

[Joe Sanigato]

I completely agree. I could not believe it because it made it cooler. Like, no one's gonna care about this fucking. Like, was that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Was it? So if you won though, you didn't get it for free?

[Joe Sanigato]

No.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is weird. I can see the, the middle ground of being like, they're not like advertising it and they're being like, you know, if the kid wants you to buy the thing. I just like, kids like, cry and you're like, oh, get you the fucking.

[Joe Sanigato]

I could see it being cool for like certain games. Like, we had the girls play a game where it's like you have to pick up rubber duckies or something. And like you win something based off of getting three special rubber duckies. I understand that at that age, but like, If I'm a 15 year old

[Frank Alvarez]

kid, I don't want to buy a stuffed.

[Joe Sanigato]

It kind of sucks, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

The fuck am I gonna do with a stuffed animal?

[Joe Sanigato]

Is this not becoming like, I'm not one of those people that's just like, now everyone gets your partnership Asian trophy. But this is an example of like, you're vilifying competition. Yeah, I don't think that's cool. A little competition, you know, it could get intense.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm wondering how you feel about the participation trophy thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Me?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think that. I think you can honor someone. Like, you can Reward someone for seeing something through and doing something. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Especially when we're talking, like, Little League sports and stuff like that. But you also then within that need to establish a hierarchy of, like, what the comp. The competitive aspect is getting you. So, like, if everyone gets the exact same trophy, even the winners of the league or something like that. I don't know if I agree with that. Yeah, but, like, if it's just like, hey, little Joey, congratulations, you did it. You saw it through, you played in all the games. I'm proud of you. Here's a trophy to show that you completed a task. I think that's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's fine. As long as it's not you won that.

[Joe Sanigato]

Well, that's why I think it should be like, the winners of the league get the big fucking trophies. Yeah, like, if you. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, get something. I guess. Yes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like, you need to reward the.

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess that is a participation trophy. I think. I think we're saying the same thing. Like, I don't. Well, I don't know if we're saying the same thing. I don't think that. I guess this is because how I grew up. I don't think there's anything wrong with, like, someone winning and someone losing. I also don't think there's anything wrong with, like, second place and third place, like, that being rewarded similar to the Olympics. Like, people win bronze medals and they're fucking super excited. I agree.

[Joe Sanigato]

I fully agree.

[Frank Alvarez]

And depending on how many teams are in the league, but, like, that's still, like, a good thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's okay because if we're talking kids, like, if we're talking for, like, Little League sports, I think it's okay for them to commit to something and to be rewarded for that commitment, I. E. Participation trophy, which has become, like, a hot topic word to say nowadays.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think in the way that maybe it gets conflated with everyone gets the same thing.

[Joe Sanigato]

But that's where I disagree.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, me too.

[Joe Sanigato]

And that's where I think that, like, there should be a reward for winning, doing better than somebody else.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I guess also the question that I have now is, like, let's say first place gets a trophy, which when we were growing up, I think that was it. First place would get the trophies, and that was all. I think.

[Joe Sanigato]

I think so. I vaguely remember sometimes where they would give out, like. Remember those little. Like, in plastic cases? Like, they look like little metals on a ribbon.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Give them out. If you were, like, good at English.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

You know, like, great job in language arts class. Here's a little fucking metal.

[Frank Alvarez]

But, like, the kids who, like, what is. Why do they need something physical to be like, you know, like. Because if we're in agreement that, like, if we're all playing in a baseball league and we're all eight years old, you know, or 10, whatever, and the people who win get the trophy because they won, they beat everybody, they should get that. Why would everyone else need one? Like, what is the. What is the positive that we're getting from doing that?

[Joe Sanigato]

I think it's the idea of you're rewarding, like, you're. You're kind of encouraging the participation and, like, for kids to step out and do something like that. So, like.

[Frank Alvarez]

But isn't there isn't. If they got through it already. Like, they've already gotten through.

[Christy]

True.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, but you're. It's. Kids, like, you can't just be like, a pat on the back is the same as a trophy. Like, that's. That's kind of just the world that we live in. It's. It's. Is a. It's a physical good that is going to, like, make them feel better about doing it. I don't. I really don't disagree with that. I think that the reason that this idea of participation trophy has become such a hot topic conversation in the world of sports, specifically, like, Little League, is because people believe they're conflating it with, like, if. If everyone does it, they're all on the same, like, equal playing ground, which is not the case. And I don't think I've ever seen that as the case. And if it has happened again, I don't agree with it, but I think it's okay to, like, have a physical thing, to just be like, good for you. You did this.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I was hyped with the T shirts, first of all. A jersey. Loved that. Dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

If I. I mean, I was good with the jersey. That's why I'm pumped about those jerseys, because it's just like, this is ours.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, there was a. Yeah, these jerseys.

[Joe Sanigato]

You like that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I feel like back in the day, I mean, I think I did, like, when you're really young playing sports, at least in my experience, and I consider myself a pretty competitive person. I don't think I really cared about winning as much as I cared about, like, just hanging out.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I cared about winning, but, like, super young. Not super young. Super young. Honestly, I don't even remember caring about Doing it. I just remember doing it.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying. Like, I liked being on a team because it's like I get to see my friends and we're like playing.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So like, that's kind of what I cared about. So, like, I don't, I didn't.

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't think the, the intense competition came about until we were like 12.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Like before that it was just like, oh, sports.

[Frank Alvarez]

Then I cared. Yeah, I, I mean, maybe a little younger than that. Honestly, that I did care about winning, but also, I mean, I was also the type of kid, like, I don't want this fucking second place shit.

[Joe Sanigato]

I mean, I don't remember caring that much. But like, once we became like. Like I said we would play with like football and we had our own jerseys and stuff like that.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

But that's when I care.

[Frank Alvarez]

No one's giving out participation. A 15 year old, right?

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe that's outrageous to me. I mean, I really don't know. But you know what pissed me off though? When they'd be like, oh, your team, you're the Yankees this year. And we're like, cool, we're the Yankees. Then give us our shirt. And it just says Elm Jack. And on the bot. The back it just says Rocco's Pizzeria.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's just a blue jersey.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. And it's not even a jersey. It's just a shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a navy.

[Joe Sanigato]

And like you're like, damn it. God damn it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Give me one with the hat though. Right?

[Joe Sanigato]

You could, you could get a hat. But sometimes they were just like standard

[Frank Alvarez]

blue hats or like, I sponsor a team at icyps.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Studios.

[Joe Sanigato]

I know that's there.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't know that my nephew was playing again this year because my sister was like, maybe we'll play in a different league. So he's not on the Santa Gal Studios team.

[Joe Sanigato]

Really? Oh, shit. So he's going up against Uncle Joey. Yeah, he's on a different team now, so. By us. I've seen that, like, they have more like swag for the kids, you know, like they'll have like the team, actual like team shirt. And then on their back it'll say their name and their number.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, wow.

[Joe Sanigato]

Which was so fucking cool. When we were kids, we didn't have that. Like I said, it was like whoever sponsored it, it would say Senegato Studios, Rocco's Pizzeria, or Astor Pharmacy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Also, I don't think you were allowed to pick a number.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it was Just, like, printed like

[Frank Alvarez]

1 to 10, and you got one.

[Joe Sanigato]

They basically, they were just like, we have an. We have a medium, kids. Medium. And it's number four. You're number four, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Exactly. What size are you? And it was just here. Don't even know what number you are. Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Bring the shirt back. And if you don't, just wear a blue shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

I remember one year I had gotten for Christmas, my mom got me a personalized White Sox jersey of all teams for why I liked Joe Creedy.

[Frank Alvarez]

You like Joe Creedy?

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, he was sick. It was when they won. They had a sick team. It was like, Joe Creedy. And I liked them. And those. The all black with the. You know, the socks on it. Yeah, it's such a sick jersey. And she got me one. And then, like, a year and a half later, my fall ball league was. I think they called it Snowflake, was. We were the White Sox. So, like, I was showing up to my Little League White Sox game wearing a custom White Sox Jersey that said Alvarez 80 on the back.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're playing second base with number 80?

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah. I mean, I was not playing second base. I was not that good. I was a catcher or an outfielder, which means.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, you did play catcher.

[Joe Sanigato]

I played catcher, and then I played it until I stopped playing in, like, high school.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was jealous, dude. I wanted to play catcher.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, catcher is so sick. And I actually got good at it. And then I haven't played.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just thought it was cool to, like, be wearing, like, armor.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, it was cool. I felt special because they'd be like, two outs. I'd get walk to first base, and then I'd steal second, and they'd be like, there's two outs. I'm the catcher. They need to pull me off the field so I can get my gear on. And then I'd fucking waddle out there and shit like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or you'd be. Someone be in the on deck circle, and you'd be. What's that called, by the way? When you're not in the on deck

[Joe Sanigato]

circle, but you're in the hole.

[Frank Alvarez]

In the hole. But you're in the hole. So you're still wearing the knee guards.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, kind of like, you just, like. Cool. And they're like, all right, you're up. And it's like, I got to take the knee guards off.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

She was cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I did.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I thought it was cool. We had. Growing up, our. Our baseball league.

[Joe Sanigato]

Did you play ice VIP as a little. Little kid, and then from like older years. It was Ellen. Jack.

[Frank Alvarez]

So the umpire at the league that I played in, it was allergic to grass. Who? This dude, Frank.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, I remember Frank. He had the eczema. I remember Frank. Frank, how he'd pull his mask off. Yeah. He'd be like, bro, that was, that was outside.

[Frank Alvarez]

And he'd be like. And he pulls mask off. And his eyes.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, dude. I was just so red.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like someone put lemons in.

[Joe Sanigato]

He was in rough shape and it

[Frank Alvarez]

was hard to argue with a guy who's clearly going through it.

[Christy]

Dude.

[Joe Sanigato]

There were at Elm Jack. I remember Frank. That's so funny that you brought that up. There was two umpires at Elm Jack that I remember. One was named Gene. He was like an old white dude and like Jean's a great name to yell at someone. God, Gene, a really good yellowable name.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then there was like a like 16 or 17 year old kid named Kenny.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Sanigato]

And I would catch and he would, he would call, you know, he was the ump.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And I would fucking let this guy have it. I mean like, Kenny, you're an idiot. You're so stupid. Come on, Gene. Yeah. You gotta put it together. No, no, no. Dude, did I ever tell you I umped one game at elmjack? At elmjack? I umped one game in the like, I think it was bantam.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did you hate it?

[Joe Sanigato]

Did I never told you this story? No. I umped one game and I got like $20. Hell no. Because. Hell yeah. And it was like the 9 and 10 year old kids. So I believe that was like the, what we called bantam. And the rule was like you call, call the game how it is. But if someone throws four straight balls, like the count is 30 and they throw a fourth ball, you expand the strike zone and they have to throw two more just to like make it a little more competitive, you know.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a lot of balls. I know.

[Joe Sanigato]

And one of our friend's younger brother. I could say it. I don't give a fuck. Coco was on the team.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

And I, I called him out on a strike. Like I. He got rung up and I was having the time of my life, you know, like, oh man, I was having so much fun. And he turned around and he was like, suck my fucking balls. Fuck you. Yeah, dude. And like by the way, this is a meds brother. Yeah, yeah. A meds brother, Coco. And he's like, bro, Frankie, fuck you. It's a nine year old. Fuck you. Suck my nuts. So I'm like, yo, dude, you Got a chill. And he's. He going off. Tell me, suck my balls. Fuck you, you dick licker. You know, like, he's going off on me. So I'm like, oh, I got it. I got to throw this kid out of the game.

[Frank Alvarez]

You did.

[Joe Sanigato]

So I threw him out of the game.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you're out.

[Joe Sanigato]

And then, like, remember it was the field that was all the way on the other side.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So me walking back to, like, after the game to, like, tell the fucking people that work there. Like, this kid got. He's gonna get. He got thrown out of the game because of this. And he. You have to suspend him one game. And Ahmed's mom is following me like, like, please don't tell them. He's so sorry. And Coco's on the other side. Suck my nuts, you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

Because that's how serious we took it. It's like, yo, that was legit.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Sanigato]

So, like, I. I got his mom being like, I'm so sorry. You're your family. Like, please don't. And I'm, like, walking. And then I got a nine year old telling me to suck their nuts on the left. That's hilarious. I'm, like 14 or 15 years old. I'm not much older.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. So hearing suck my nuts at that age is, Is. That's like war.

[Joe Sanigato]

Yeah, it was. It was crazy. But I, I, I. That was such a good time. I want to play baseball with our friends soon.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's really funny. I want to play baseball with our friends soon.

[Joe Sanigato]

Dude, you don't want to just play baseball, dude?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I want.

[Joe Sanigato]

You want to play catch, Dude, I played catch in my backyard a couple weeks ago, my brother, and it was so fun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Catch is great.

[Joe Sanigato]

It was so fun because, like, it's just catch, dude.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love. I love the smell of a mitt.

[Joe Sanigato]

Oh, it's coming in.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hey.

[Joe Sanigato]

I'll find myself randomly walking through the house, taking grounders. Like, I'll, like, come into the kitchen, and I'll just be like. And Becca's like, get your hand on top. What are you doing?

[Frank Alvarez]

Get your hand on top.

[Joe Sanigato]

She's like, what are you doing? And I'm just like, I'm popping up.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. No, it's amazing. Well, listen. Holy fuck, it's hot. It's a billion degrees in here, and we are going to. To pass out and have a heat stroke. But thank you guys so much for sticking around for this episode and appreciate all the blowing.

[Joe Sanigato]

And where could they find you? And Briscoe don't actually give him. He decided that he wanted. Oh, he. By the way, he's not here because Joey fired him.

[Frank Alvarez]

I didn't fire him yet. But this, this actually feels really good.

[Joe Sanigato]

I heard this makes you hotter, though, because you're burning energy doing this. And then when you stop, your hearts, like, going up.

[Frank Alvarez]

How much energy could I possibly be burning doing this?

[Joe Sanigato]

I don't know. But thank you guys so much. You can find us at the Frank Alvarez and Joe Sanigato all over social media at the basement yard. All over social media. Check out patreon patreon.com the Basement Yard, the new merch store, santagadostudios.com and the basementyard.com if we're coming to a city near you, there might be some tickets still available or there might be tickets available in cities that you might want to go and check out. You never know. Go check it out at thebasementyard. Com. Thank you. We love you. And we're going to go take a cold shower together.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. See you next time.