#565 - Are We Ready For Pie?!

Summary

The Basement Yard | Ep. #565 – "Are We Ready For Pie?!"

Podcast: The Basement Yard
Hosts: Joe Santagato, Frank Alvarez, and Special Guest (unnamed third mic)
Release: July 27, 2026
Time Marks: Provided in (MM:SS) format
Tone: Loose, comedic, banter-heavy, playful

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Basement Yard launches with playful debates and personal stories about shyness, brags about the podcast’s recent I Heart Podcast award, and then pivots hard into hilarious, food-driven detours. Expect philosophical tangents about the word “shy,” travel anecdotes from Turks and Caicos, an in-depth (and often absurd) look at gelato, spritz cocktails, and pies—including much double entendre. Nostalgia for scary kids' movies, candy bars, and even Hannah Montana wraps things up. It’s an off-the-rails, food-fueled hour plus where no opinion is too strong and “the cream pie” innuendos never stop.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding "Shy" — Can You Really Define It?

• Opening bit: Hosts joke about how people act when they're shy—internal squeals (01:01), piggy noises, body language.
• Meta moment: Joe notes: "Shy is one of those words that...I struggle being able to accurately define it." (02:15)
• Discussion: Is shyness about feeling unable to put yourself out there, or about an initial hesitancy in new situations?
  • “I can't remember being shy ever.” – Frank (01:47)
  • "I kind of associate shyness with, like, there's an inability to put yourself out there." – Joe (03:46)

2. Celebrating the I Heart Podcast Award

• Hosts reveal: They won Best Duo/Ensemble at the I Heart Podcast Awards (06:02).
• Joking about trophies: They only got "one heavy bitch" (06:01), leading to joking about fighting off intruders with it.
• Frank wants his own trophy: Only one arrived, and he wants next year’s shipped to him (07:13).
• “Queen ant” joke: “Are you the queen ant?” – (06:42)

3. Turks & Caicos Trip – Airplane Rage, Beach Magic, and Barracuda Terrors

• Frank’s family trip: Stuck 45 minutes on the tarmac upon arrival; had to “manifest” getting off the plane (07:50–09:10).
• Ocean experiences: Frank brags that “Daddy got in the ocean” for his kids (09:33).
• Snorkeling: His wife and kids see a barracuda. Frank: “Let’s talk about this on the land” (11:09). Barracudas spark ocean-anxiety.
• Why fish freak him out: “Being among a group of something where it's thousands to my one ... is not cool.” (13:19)
• SeaWorld rant: The gang riffs about freeing captive animals (“SeaWorld, dump them out,” “Let them see the world”—15:01). A+
• Vacation drinks: Frank restarts his “mint mojito” era (17:34), praises the Hugo Spritz, rips on Aperol Spritz (“unbelievably overrated”—21:14).

4. Food & Drink Tangents: Cocktails, Gelato, and Spritzes

• Spritz drinks: After the Hugo Spritz, they deep-dive into unconventional spritzes and cocktail culture (18:07–25:54).
  • “I think the word spritz just—it's like—cuz it's like—you know what I mean? It sounds like it's...refreshing.” – Joe (20:56)
• Artsy bartenders: Frank gripes about performance bartending (“there’s a fine line between being whimsical and being a bit of a dork”—28:02).
• Disputes over drink artistry: Playful debate on whether bartenders are pretentious or just talented (25:05–29:41).
  • “Don’t show me your sausage, just show me the final product.” – Joe (25:05)
  • “You are making poison.” – Frank on drinking (26:03)

5. GELATO: The Deep Dive

• Frank’s gelato ignorance: He admits, “I don't think I've ever had gelato, like, proper.” – (37:22)
• Gelato vs Ice Cream: Group tries to define the difference—more milk, less cream in gelato (40:42). No one’s really sure.
• Top flavors:
  • Joe’s Mount Rushmore: “Salted caramel, cherry, and New York cheesecake.” (42:11)
  • Frank: “Salted caramel, cookie butter, stracciatella” (49:33) but “hazelnut if I’m feeling like a little ho.” (50:01)
  • Pistachio, green tea, and birthday cake flavors are hotly debated/derided (41:05–44:48).
• Pie vs cake throwdown teased for Patreon (52:46 onwards).

6. Pies and Cream: The Pie Try-On

• Pie opinions: Frank hates cooked fruit, especially in pies. Joe wants him to try a full spectrum for Patreon (52:45–53:39):
  • “I don’t like any pie because cooked fruit is disgusting to me, honestly.” – Frank (52:24)
  • “I would have rather eat your ass after a workout than a cherry pie.” – Joe (53:01)
• Cream pie double-entendre runs rampant (58:40–60:24):
  • “Yo all jokes aside, banana cream pie me up.” – Joe (58:58)
  • “Get in the cream pie. Be the cream pie.” – (60:19)
• Future Patreon bit: Pie taste test, “The Pie Try-On”, with every pie imaginable (58:05–60:24).

7. Sweet Nostalgia: Candy, Bars, and Scary Kids’ Movies

• Old-school candy shop nostalgia: Wax-paper wrapped taffy, saltwater taffy, “old guy in a striped shirt” fantasy (69:05–70:11).
• Willy Wonka Netflix contest: They're excited to risk Augustus Gloop fates in a chocolate river (70:06–72:52).
  • “When I die, bury me inside a chocolate river.” – Joe (72:48)
• Scary kids’ movies: Lament that kids’ movies aren’t scary like they used to be, referencing “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure,” and “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” (74:03–76:17).

8. Hannah Montana Interlude and Generational Disney

• Hannah Montana nostalgia: The theme songs and movie had cultural staying power. (“The Climb might be from the Hannah Montana movie?” – 78:09).
• Joe sings the theme: “You get the best of both worlds…” (78:57).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On shyness:
  “Shy is one of those words...I struggle being able to accurately define it.” — Joe (02:15)
• About podcasting awards:
  “If someone came in here was like, ‘Give me all your money and I beat them over the head with this [award], they’re dead.’” — Frank (05:34)
• Regarding unfamiliar drinks:
  “If someone told me, ‘order the Hugo Spritz,’ I’d be like: How stupid do you think I am? That sounds like a drink that came with, like, a cigarette put out in it.” — Frank (18:50)
• On gelato ignorance:
  “I got ice cream because I’m an adult in America.” — Frank (37:25)
• On pistachio flavor:
  “Pistachio flavoring is so middle.” — Joe (41:00)
• Pie opinion fire:
  “I don’t like any pie because cooked fruit is disgusting to me, honestly.” — Frank (52:24) “I had a cherry pie. I would have rather eat your ass after a workout.” — Joe (53:01)
• Cream pie bit escalation:
  “Get in the cream pie. Be the cream pie.” — Joe and the gang (60:19)
• On scary kids’ films:
  “I missed when kids movies tried to scare kids. Now they're just not.” — Frank (74:43)
• Candy nostalgia:
  “I only wanted if the guy has a shirt with stripes....His name’s like Elgin Stewart or something.” — Joe (69:40)
• Chocolate bar love:
  “Unraveling a chocolate bar, especially if you could do it neatly…and then you get to the foil, which is the underwear, obviously…” — Joe (71:01)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:01 – The "Shy" debate begins
• 06:02 – I Heart Podcast award/duo jokes
• 07:50 – Turks & Caicos trip, tarmac meltdown
• 09:33 – Frank conquers ocean fears; barracuda fear
• 15:01 – "SeaWorld, dump them out" mini-campaign
• 17:34 – Mint mojito resurgence; Spritz drinks
• 25:05 – Bartender artistry rant (“Don’t show me your sausage…”)
• 37:22 – Frank: “I don’t think I’ve ever had gelato, like, proper.”
• 41:00 – Pistachio vs. other flavors
• 49:33 – Gelato top flavor picks (full rankings)
• 52:24 – Frank’s pie-despising confession
• 58:40 – "Cream pie" triple-entendre
• 69:05 – Old-fashioned candy shops/nostalgia
• 70:06 – Netflix’s Wonka contest
• 74:43 – Why we need scary kids’ movies again
• 78:09 – Hannah Montana nostalgia
• 79:29 – End credits, plugs, thanks

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a classic Basement Yard blend of ridiculous food hot takes, personal confessions, high energy—and food innuendos that will scandalize your grandma. You’ll learn who’s never had gelato, why pies offend certain sensibilities, and which kinds of kids’ movies they think need to come back. If you’ve ever debated what deserves to be on the Mount Rushmore of ice cream flavors—or just think “dump them out” is a solid slogan—this episode’s for you.

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Where To Find The Hosts:

• Joe Santagato (@joesantagato)
• Frank Alvarez (TheFrankAlvar)
• The Basement Yard on TikTok & Instagram
• Patreon for early and extra episodes
• Merch
• Live shows

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TL;DR:
Did they get ready for pie? Emotionally, spiritually, and perhaps even physically—yes.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the baby. Falling in love with you

[B]

we were live. You can bring us right in from

[C]

that welcome back to the basement yard.

[A]

Hello. That's pretty good. That was pretty good. We sang. Are we putting that in there?

[B]

We should.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. Do you. I mean, I could do it again. Actually, I probably can't. The lights are on.

[C]

What could that be?

[A]

It's. Whatever I wanted.

[C]

Was that you do when you're shy.

[A]

I guess it was a little. You don't act normal when you're shy. I guess, like, you're just. Like. Something's just like, what are you.

[B]

No.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Don't look at me like I'm an idiot.

[C]

I'm taking it in, I guess.

[B]

Well, how would. How would you do. Shy.

[A]

Quiet air. Yeah.

[C]

Making a squealing noise.

[B]

You don't got, like, a.

[A]

Well, what was this? Why'd you go rizzler there?

[C]

Also, were you making over there, Piggy?

[B]

That was. That wasn't my noise.

[A]

That's not. I'm not necessarily with the pig.

[C]

You squealed.

[A]

But, like, that's not necessarily a noise I'm making. That might be the noise I'm hearing in my head.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like, leave me alone.

[C]

You know what I mean? You are making the noise, though.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm doing it to convey it to you.

[C]

Oh, you're saying that in your head

[A]

in real life, like, ask me to be shy.

[C]

You want me to just ask you?

[A]

I mean, that's what I'm doing.

[C]

Be shy.

[A]

In my head. It's the squeal.

[C]

Is that physically what happens when you're shy, though?

[A]

I'll be honest with you. I don't. I. I don't. I can't remember being shy ever.

[C]

I think when I'm shy, I rock back and forth on my.

[B]

My feet.

[C]

Like, I go from the tips to the heels a lot.

[A]

Like, when's the last time you were shy?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

When I'm shy, I really. I'm just like. Just don't look at me like. I don't want anyone to look at me. I don't want to be bothered.

[A]

I'm gonna ask a really weird question, and. And I hope you guys will follow me here.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Shy is one of those words. Welcome back to basement. Shy is one of those words that, like, we've used it so much, but I struggle being able to accurately define it.

[C]

Shy.

[A]

Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean by that? By, like. There are some words that, like, I. We use. We know. It's like we know what they mean. But, like, if you were to ask me to define it, I don't think I could because I think that the

[C]

word is, like, what it is. It's kind of like shy is the word for that act. Like, you're like,

[A]

yeah, but uncomfortable still. It's just like, I can't define it. I know it. You know what I mean?

[C]

Because it's the word. I think that's why it's cuz, like, shy.

[A]

Definition is the word itself.

[C]

Yeah. But it's like an uncomfortable, unfamiliar.

[A]

So your reservation.

[C]

Yeah, you're like, being more conservative.

[B]

Like, you close. You start closing a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. I guess it's just one of those things. But like, I can't remember the last time I was shy. I think the first time I met Becca, I was a little shy, but after that, I can't.

[B]

I feel like. You're not a shy guy.

[A]

I'm not a shy guy.

[B]

Not a shy guy.

[A]

Not a shy guy. Like, I remember feeling a little shy the first time and I met. But like, I had to play it up like I wasn't. You know what I mean?

[C]

Like, you haven't been shy since then. I find that hard to believe.

[A]

I can't think of when I.

[B]

It probably happens in moments

[A]

like, not

[C]

like a year of your life. Yeah, I was shy back in 2008.

[A]

If we're thinking of shy in terms of like.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like, you are like, I. I kind of associate shyness with, like, there's an un. An inability to put yourself out there. Like, I don't recall ever.

[C]

You've never been in a room where it's like, I don't really know anyone in here. It's kind of like. So there's like a shyness there. I guess I don't.

[A]

Because I guess in that regard, I feel more compelled to want to. To like. Instead of being like, I don't know anyone here, I'm going to kind of go on my shell. I feel more of a. Like, all right, I guess I should probably meet people.

[C]

Open up. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Open wide, you know?

[C]

But there's a shyness in the beginning. It's kind of like, oh, I don't know anyone here. And you're like, huh? But then you gotta like, yeah, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, you get in, you don't know anybody. Like, hi. You know, hi. And then you're like, hi. Yeah, hi. Hi.

[A]

I'm Joel.

[B]

I'm Frank.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's a very, like, 90s way of putting shy. Like, hi, I'm back here.

[C]

Frank, you just went like this and squealed like a little pig.

[A]

The squeal was internal. I don't know why squeal was out.

[C]

Turnal.

[A]

We heard it. You heard it because I was doing it for you. And our audio listeners.

[C]

Do it one more time.

[A]

Oh, like with the external. With the. Yeah, let's get it with the shriek.

[B]

Those weren't shy eyes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're like, no way.

[B]

A little bit. A little bit.

[A]

No way. I don't think you guys have ever seen my horny eyes. When would you ever have seen those?

[C]

I mean, I have. I. I've been at a restaurant with you when the creme brulee comes out.

[A]

Honestly, that's a really, really great point. But that's a different horny. That's like a food horn. That's a food horny.

[C]

Right?

[A]

But like, shy is like a.

[C]

Now that we got that.

[A]

Okay, I'll tell you, it might not be shy, but it's shining. Look at that little thing you got back there. Look at the award that came, baby.

[C]

This is a big bachelor. I could kill someone with that.

[A]

Brother, you have. Why have you immediately thought of that, though? Why? Because of the weight of it. It is super heavy.

[C]

Like, if someone came in here was like, give me all your money, and I beat them over the head with this, they're dead.

[A]

Be really honest with me about something. Would you have liked it less if it came and you're like, this is kind of light.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I would too, because it would feel, like, cheap. Yeah, exactly. But she's a heavy bitch.

[B]

She.

[A]

She's got some. Some weight and girth.

[C]

She's robust.

[A]

That. For those of you guys that may for some reason not know, we received an award at the I Heart Podcast Awards for the best duo and podcasting.

[C]

Well, it says ensemble.

[A]

I know it does, but we have to make sure it's duo.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

I'll scratch it out. I'll scratch that out.

[C]

Frank doesn't want you involved.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

I love that you're involved, and I'm very appreciative, and I tell you that often. I gotta cover my ground because I made one joke about this kid and you.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

It's over.

[A]

I got Joey and Greg calling me, like, hey, man, you want. That? Never happens. You might want to be nicer and colony.

[B]

You know, they'll. They'll come. They'll come scurrying.

[A]

Step on.

[C]

Are you the queen ant?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You are. You know and you should be proud of that because you've earned that. What's it?

[B]

They did say they were going to send multiple. I only saw one.

[C]

Yeah, I did not say that.

[A]

Yes, I did.

[C]

No, did they?

[A]

I specifically asked and they said, yeah, of course we'll send multiple. A bunch, I believe.

[C]

Oh, well, only got that one.

[A]

Yeah, they only got one and sent to Joey. It's in its rifle spot.

[C]

Well, I. I sent it to my apartment so that it wouldn't get sent here because sometimes it's a little funky with the mail fair.

[A]

I mean, you could have had it. If we win another one, can you have it sent to me and then I'll bring it in. I promise, I swear.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

If we are so lucky to get nominated and. And awarded next year or the year after, however many times.

[C]

Humble of you.

[A]

Yeah, I said if we get so lucky. I know.

[C]

That's what I said.

[A]

That is humble. That's why I said that. I want to make sure.

[C]

Okay. But anyway, you just got back from a lovely vacation. Yes, I did. You were in first family vacation. Turks and Caicos. Both of them.

[A]

I was in Turks and Caicos. I will tell you this. You know how I am with. With travel still there.

[C]

You want to.

[A]

At one point I said out loud, I need to get off this fucking plane right now. Oh, wow. Yeah. I apologize to my daughters who might have heard it.

[C]

Why were you so.

[A]

Cuz we landed 20 minutes early and then they said, there's no gate for us. We have to wait. And we ended up waiting on the tarmac for 45 minutes.

[C]

I heard no gay for us.

[A]

No gate.

[C]

Oh, you said gate.

[A]

Oh, no. Yeah, gates.

[C]

Oh, yeah. It sounded like you said, there's no gay for us.

[A]

I was like, I demanded three. I needed more gay. Got to the resort. No gay for us. I mean, to my knowledge, there were no gays either. Oh, for that.

[C]

That were made statistically there was gays, of course, but there was no gate. So how long were you waiting?

[A]

So we waited on the tarmac for 40 minutes and I called the person I didn't say, I didn't say.

[C]

You called over the flight attendant.

[A]

Yeah. And I said, did you press the button? Of course I did.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

How else am I getting them over?

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

Yeah. And I said, any update? And they go, we'll tell them to make it. And they made an update that there's no update. They made an announcement, there's no update.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it was another 10 minutes. And I said, I need to get off this plane right the. Now.

[C]

You said that to the flight attendant?

[A]

No, no, no. I said it out loud.

[C]

To your.

[A]

To myself. I said. I put. I put the thoughts.

[C]

Yeah. Speak to the universe, and it will speak back.

[A]

Exactly. I manifested. And did it work?

[B]

Fair.

[A]

We were off there in another 10 minutes.

[C]

Not bad.

[A]

So it worked kind of, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah. It was our first trip with the kids, and I. I went in the ocean.

[B]

Whoa. Very proud.

[A]

You clapped, too, right now. Thank you so much. Keep going.

[C]

You don't really. You don't really do that.

[A]

Well.

[C]

Are you changing?

[A]

I think I have. I have a reason to go into the ocean and Turks and Caicos, because, yo, jokes aside, I know people say this. Yo, that beach is crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I've never seen white sand.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, it's been, like, beige or a dark brown or something.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yo, and that water.

[C]

Blue, brother.

[A]

Blue. Abadi Abadai, let me tell you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because that was, like, blinding blue.

[C]

So you were like, I'm gonna go check this out.

[A]

Yeah. I didn't go past. Like, if I stood up, it was at my waist, but I sat. I, like, sat on my butt, and I just kind of, like, played around. Like, I hung out, like, with the kids because I didn't want them going that farther. Like, Miles and Becca went out a little farther, and. And then they come back. Yo, did I tell you this? They get. They rented snorkel equipment because.

[C]

Hell, yeah, they.

[A]

And they snorkeled, brother.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I will say this. I don't think I've done many things to give my wife the ick. If she heard me with the snorkel in my mouth, she would have not been sexually attracted.

[C]

Would you? You were snorkeling as well.

[A]

They, like, went snorkeling, and they were like, oh, my God. Like, it's so beautiful. It's so peaceful. Like, the. The. Like, there's like, a sense of just, like, release from what Becca was explaining to me. They saw a bunch of fish, first of all, she comes over and she goes, oh, my God, it was so cool. We saw a barracuda. I go, let's. Let's talk about this on the land, though.

[C]

Oh, you don't like barracudas?

[A]

First of all, the only barracuda I've ever liked is the team of Blue Barracudas and Legends of the Hidden Temple.

[C]

I also wouldn't know what a barracuda is. I know it kind of looks like an eel, and it's got teeth, but Are they like. They'll.

[A]

They'll come. They'll get you. They will get you.

[C]

Can it. It can't hurt me, right?

[A]

It'll take a chunk out of your thumped, but can it?

[C]

I'll. But I.

[A]

It's not a. I'll survive. You'll survive, but you won't be happy with the damage it hath done.

[C]

Right?

[A]

You know, like, pull up a picture of a barracuda. These are not the smallest. And they've got teeth on them.

[C]

Are they quick?

[A]

They're in the ocean. They're in the ocean. So, like, that's like.

[C]

Oh, fuck. That's way different than what I was picturing.

[B]

I feel like this is a good.

[C]

That's a big barracuda, brother.

[B]

It's good reference.

[C]

It's only got, like, seven teeth, though.

[B]

No, bro.

[A]

Ooh, Barracuda gum.

[B]

Did you see what it did to Nemo's mom?

[A]

Was that a barracuda? Yeah, it was Nemo's mom. What was her name? I don't even care. I don't even care. Why am I asking that? Like, that's the thing that I have,

[B]

Joe, this is messing you up, dude.

[C]

Yeah, big time.

[A]

But they go, oh, Barracuda. We saw Barracuda. It was so cool. I was like, let's go talk about this on the land.

[C]

You got scared?

[A]

Of course I got scared, bro.

[C]

What? But then when did you put on the snorkel gear?

[A]

Oh, they were like, oh. Miles was like, please come with me. And I was like, all right. I gotta be a man. I gotta be tough daddy now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so tough daddy had to show up. But my breathing was okay. If you. I'm telling you right now, I said to Becca, I was like, if you had heard that, you would have.

[C]

What did it sound like? Oh, so, like, when. When Darth Vader had, like, half his mask blown off?

[A]

Well, dude, like, I don't. It's not. I'm not used to breathing out of

[C]

my mouth, out of the tube.

[A]

You know what I mean? So, like. And I'm like, swimming, and I'm in an uncomfortable position because I'm in the ocean. So I'm like,

[C]

did you see anything cool?

[A]

Yeah, there was a school of fish.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

But I thought it was not cool. So I was like, we should go back. I'm hungry.

[C]

Why does fish scare you?

[A]

The idea of being amongst a thing, like, amongst a group of something where it's like, potentially thousands to my one, no matter the. The size of them, is not cool.

[C]

What about when we go on tour and there's thousands of people.

[A]

If you were to put, like, I'm in the environment of people, like, there. I have a sense of control there, like.

[C]

But you're saying you. We. You'd be uncomfortable if we went on tour and everyone in the stands.

[A]

Put it like this. Put it like, yeah. Yes, I would.

[C]

Barracudas.

[A]

If we did a show for an aquarium.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I would be like, world show. If I. I would be like, this is cool. But, like, there is something here that's scary, bro.

[C]

By the way, you know, SeaWorld is putting on concerts nowadays, bro. Ones that you would go to.

[A]

I saw it was like the Yin Yang Twins. And, like, I saw that should look. I saw Drock and Kane, and I was like, yo, honestly, I would be there. Although we don't support SeaWorld.

[C]

No concerts, though.

[A]

The artists that they hire, I'm pumped about. Yeah, but the way. The way in which they make the money.

[C]

Fuck that.

[A]

How about that Sea World?

[C]

You gotta let those fish out, bro. Let the whales be a whale. Let the fucking whales out. Let them swim around.

[A]

I have. If there are any, like, anti Sea World companies looking for a slogan, I got one for you. Hey, Sea World, Dump them out.

[C]

I was gonna say, hey, Sea World. Let them see the world.

[B]

That's way better.

[A]

SeaWorld, dump them out so bad. Dump Them out is kind of playful and shit, too. Like, yo, SeaWorld, dump them out.

[C]

Yeah, dump the fucking dolphins out.

[A]

Dump. Like, let them fuck with dolphins. Oh, yeah, I fuck with dolphins. But, like. Yeah, So I was in the ocean and it was like. It was cool where I was. But going out further, I was like, not. They had, like, people, like, vendors, like, bringing people parasailing, like, out.

[C]

I'm good on parasailing also.

[A]

Just like, they're like. You could sign up for, like, excursions where we bring you, like, an hour off land and you swim around for an hour. No.

[C]

Do you see anything cool?

[A]

I imagine they do it because there's cool things about.

[C]

Oh, my God, if I can go out there and see, like, a whale.

[A]

Have you ever been to the Caribbean? Caribbean? I don't know which is, like, Right?

[C]

No, I haven't.

[A]

I'm surprised. Like, that seems like your trip. I know you've been a big beach.

[C]

I mean, I would do it for sure.

[A]

But, like, they also, like, we stayed at a resort. They had stuff on the resort for the kids and for us. That was pretty cool.

[C]

Yeah, but, like, those vacations always struck me as more of, like, a family thing.

[A]

Yeah. But they have like. And I'm not saying, I'm not trying to be insulting and saying this, but, like, they have like a Ritz Carlton and like. No, I know. Like, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way. You know, I'll jump at the opportunity to call you rich billionaire Joe. But like, things that are more tailored for a non family trip.

[B]

So Frankie got there, he had to, you know, chill out. Vacation packages.

[A]

Did I. No, I didn't.

[C]

Wait, what?

[A]

I don't get it.

[B]

What? You're trying to get them to go and you get a piece and that's how you got free to go there. It was a. Nevermind.

[A]

No, I. Let me be very clear about something. This trip costs dollars, okay?

[B]

Like timeshares.

[A]

It was. It was a couple bucks. And did you.

[C]

Did you have a day where you're like, I'm getting everything on the menu

[A]

a day, all day, every day.

[C]

Did you have any, like, cool drinks? Did you get a pina colada? Don't fucking piss me off.

[A]

Damn right I got a peanut colada.

[C]

Fucking talking.

[A]

I'm fucking right, baby.

[C]

Yeah. More frozen. Frozen shit every day.

[A]

Not every day because honestly, like, sugary. It was. It was too much. It was too much. And everything there. It's so consistently hot that like, you get something frozen, it's melted in 10 minutes.

[C]

But you got to. You got to crush a penis colada.

[A]

There was a penis colada. There was. They had a brewery there. Whoa. That like, the, like, resort had, like, their beer. Very good. I enjoyed it.

[C]

Oh, what's. What's, what's better than an ice cold beer on a hot day on a beach?

[A]

I'll tell you this, though. Daddy re found his love for mint mojitos.

[C]

Yo, mojitos are up there. Dude loves them.

[A]

Dude, I am so, like, I remember being such a. For a mint mojito and then it went away. It, like disappeared. It, like, went off to college and then now I'm fully, like, ingrained in the life of a mint mojito. I am so bad.

[C]

Is there a reason why you're saying mint mojito?

[A]

You can do, like, berry mojitos.

[C]

Oh, I thought they were all.

[A]

No, I think the mojito is kind of like a blanket term that could be used for some different, like different flavors. I'm good with just straight mint lime mojito.

[C]

I saw this video the other day. I'm curious to get your. Probably not yours, because you have a disgusting alcohol palette. But

[A]

I enjoy, you know, you Said

[C]

like a Jameson and water or whatever.

[A]

Jameson and tap water, please. What would you like, sir? Oh, I'll have Jameson and just rub the floor with a sponge.

[C]

No, but I. I saw this video where it was like the espresso martini had had its moment, then the Aperol Spritz, like, what. What's going to be next? Or whatever. And I don't know if you guys ever had one of these, but you ever have a Hugo Spritz?

[A]

Not only have I not had that, if someone told. I've not heard of that. And if someone told me, order the Hugo Spritz, I'd be like, how stupid do you think I am? Because that sounds like a drink that came with, like a cigarette put out in it. No, it's delicious.

[C]

Look at the Hugo Spritz.

[A]

Hugo, like an old Croatian man. The Hugo Spritz. It says it is two parts vodka. It is. Is three parts put out.

[C]

Say, half ounce elderflower liqueur.

[A]

Oh, I don't hate that.

[C]

Prosecco, sparkling water, fresh mint leaves.

[A]

Oh, I'm in. And then I'm so in when I saw Mint, bro. It's good.

[C]

It's like. Is that. What is St. Germaine? Is that a gin?

[A]

It's a liqueur.

[C]

Yeah. So, like, that is good, bro. I had one when I was in Portugal and I'm like, I really gotta

[A]

do this more, dude. I've never. I've never heard of one. I've never had one. I'll tell you this. I. The name is basically. What are you picturing when you say Hugo? First of all, what am I picturing? That weird movie that Martin Scorsese made years ago where it was like, just like a bold. It was like a white kid running through a clock or some stupid. I have no idea what you're talking about. Look at the movie Hugo. No, look up Hugo.

[B]

Hugo.

[C]

Hugo.

[A]

Movie. Fuck this shit.

[C]

There is a kid with a clock.

[B]

Looks Peter Panish.

[A]

You know what I'm talking about? I think, isn't that the kid that. Isn't that Asa Butterfield? The kid that was in sex education? Is that him and Chloe Grace Moretz and Ben Kingsley and Sacha Baron Cohen. Do you see why the drink sounds like shit?

[C]

Well, you're.

[B]

You're.

[A]

Oh, here's a drink made by Ben Kingsley.

[C]

Well, that's not how drinks work.

[A]

I know. Here's a drink made by a fucking bellhop and a hat, and it's Sacha Baron Cohen.

[C]

Just try the Hugo Spritz and shut it.

[A]

Honestly, that does sound really, really refreshing.

[C]

It was really nice.

[B]

I've had one.

[C]

Yeah. Did you like it now?

[B]

Yes, I did.

[A]

I will say spritz on a hot day, dude.

[C]

Love that.

[A]

Yeah. I think the word spritz just. It's like. Cuz it's like. You know what I mean? Like, it sounds like it's a good. Like it's. It's refreshing because when you want to. You want to be spritted. Well, spread on me to be sprat. Spread on me.

[C]

I. I like. I like getting a spritz. Starting off with a spritz.

[A]

Apparel spritz. Unbelievably overrated. I like them so overrated. I. This could. I could see this jumping to the top. Look up other spritzes because apparel.

[C]

There's a spritz at a bar near here. It's watermelon and rhubarb.

[A]

Rhubarb. You know, you see, I'm. I don't like rhubarb. I don't like rhubarb because it's. It's literal poison if not prepared and given to you the right way.

[C]

Excuse.

[A]

Rhubarb is poison, but, like, it. You need to have it in, like, a certain way or a cooked or prepared in a certain way or in some capacity that it doesn't kill you.

[C]

Let's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Figure out if that's right, because.

[A]

Is rhubarb poison? It's rh. He spelled rebarb. Like rhubarba. Rhubarb. Rhubarb poison.

[C]

What am I saying?

[A]

Is rhubarb poisonous?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Partially poisonous. While the stocks are perfectly safe and edible, the large green leaves contain high levels of some acid.

[B]

I actually thought you guys were talking about the concrete thing.

[A]

Rebar. No.

[C]

Asphalt.

[A]

No. Iron. Rebar or steel. Whatever it is composed of is not poisonous because it's a metal.

[C]

Yeah, I never. I've never heard of this.

[B]

Like, would you eat the. Would you eat the puffer fish?

[C]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

That's a really good question. I honestly, I don't know if I went and it was like, this is one of the three Japanese chefs that can make this.

[B]

I might.

[A]

I might.

[C]

It depends where I am.

[A]

I'm adventurous with food. Honestly adventurous with food. I am the biggest. With everything else.

[C]

I am, too. But I just, you know, putting me down via puffer fish would be insane.

[B]

If Joe. If Joe came back or we found out, oh, Joe went down because he had pufferfish would be like, well, you

[C]

just know he's so mad right now. He's so bad. Which I would be so pissed off.

[A]

Dude. That would be the part. I'd be sad. But, like, also I'd be like, damn, he's not happy. He's dead, right?

[C]

No, dude, I'd be so pissed off. I'd be at God's HR. Does be.

[A]

Wait, so what are the other spritz? So aperol. Spritz Sounds great. Overrated. Hugo Spritz sounds awful name wise. But the drink composition looks like it would be amazing.

[C]

It's great. I mean, you can make anything a spritz. Really?

[A]

What makes it a spritz? Is it the inclusion? Prosecco?

[C]

Yeah, it's like Prosecco.

[A]

Like sparkling water, club soda from a Negroni spritz. What was that the thing from the.

[B]

The Spagliato. Yes, with Prosecco.

[A]

The actors that were in House of the Dragon.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is that a spritz technically, because of the addition of Prosecco. Campari Spritz. Look at this. Shoot your. Shoot your face. Campari.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I am just not a big Campari guy. Limoncello spritz.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Vermouth bisicleta.

[C]

Oh, a classic Italian variation. Dry white wine.

[A]

Okay. Campari's there again, though.

[C]

Spritzes.

[A]

Spritzes.

[C]

I'm in.

[A]

Hold on. Saynar Spritz. This sounds like a robot from Mortal Kombat. I'm in an earthy, complex option made with Cynar. Don't know what that is.

[C]

Flavor with artichoke leaves. Yeah, get the.

[B]

Yo.

[A]

That's. I like artichoke.

[C]

I do, too, but, like, not to drink.

[A]

How do you feel about, like, cocktails that throw, like, food in there?

[C]

Like that. Only the Bloody Mary does that.

[A]

I mean, we just saw a version flavored with it.

[C]

I don't think there's, like, in the cup.

[A]

I mean, I imagine they do that, like, look like that with tomatoes.

[C]

I enjoy tomato spritz.

[A]

I cannot hate that.

[C]

That sounds disgusting. I do enjoy garnish. I like when a drink feels like a little piece of art. You know what I mean?

[A]

I like that as well. But there is a level to it. Like, I want to see the art. I don't want to see it made like that. That's one of those situations, like, don't show me your sausage, just show me.

[C]

I love when a bartender pulls out the mint and he's just like,

[A]

no. Because I get so. Like, we've talked about this. I get so grossed out by bartenders, like, touching everything. But, like, they'll just like, You like. And they're like, why does that Gross you out. It's just weird. Like, I, I. I know that I'm gonna mix it a drink. I know, but like, this, like, you suck. You know what I mean? Like, how else are you gonna mix it? I know, but, like, know that what you're doing is ridiculous. We just had a conversation about we're fucking. What is it, self awareness?

[C]

I don't know, man. I'm not on the same day. The thing that I find a little bit gross is like, oh, they're touching all my, My garnishes. Just, like, their hand and they're, like, expressing it and then just putting their.

[A]

Yeah, but like, you're making a drink and, like, there's a certain playfulness yous need to have to it when you take it. Like, when it's too artistic for me, I'm like, dude, it's alcohol. You're making poison. You are like, you are like that. You know, it's like, oh, wow. The artistry behind this crystal meth is incredible.

[C]

There absolutely is an artistry to making drinks.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

It's like saying you don't care about

[A]

your food and how that's. But like, the person themselves need to have. So what about food? You also need to just realize, like, you need to have.

[C]

Frank wants his dinner. Just throw it up.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I am saying. You know what he would like?

[C]

Less effort.

[A]

How about the bartender stop doing their jobs. See, what you're doing right now is you're putting words in my mouth. If you just for 10 seconds, for once in your life, shut your mouth and listen to me. You'll hear what I'm saying. I am saying they can have the artistry behind it, but when they don't have the wherewithal to realize, like, this is ridiculous. I'm making a drink.

[C]

Why is that ridiculous? I don't even think they're doing anything outrageous.

[A]

Certain ridicule to it.

[C]

What are they doing that's ridiculous.

[A]

Shaking it. But just like, you need to. Like, when they take the spoon and they, like, swirl it, like, in between their fingers like they're.

[C]

I have never seen a bowl.

[A]

Oh, there are people that do, like, there's TikTok accounts that I've seen. You know what I'm talking about? Maybe not because you exclude exclusively drink at places that have failed their health writing. I'm just saying when they get, like, too into. Just like I said, I was like, dude, you know, like, just be playful. Know what you're doing is that's being playful. No, but, like, there's a. Oh, no. By you.

[C]

Something that you enjoy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What I enjoy is crafted by me, not you. Step outside of.

[C]

Of yourself, buddy. Step outside of yourself right now.

[A]

And I think the word that I'm looking for, it's like, it's such a fine line between, like, being whimsical and being, like, a bit of a dork.

[B]

This is personally bad.

[C]

Take personally. It's a bad take, right? I personally feel like I know that there are people, There's a sect of people that feel like bartenders are going over the top because. Yes. When people are like, I can I get a drink? And they start throwing the bottle and catching it and doing this.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Like, me personally, I'm in.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

This is a bonus for me. Cool. I mean, if it's a 10 minute

[A]

show, let's wrap it up here.

[C]

But, like, if you're doing it and it's kind of like, whatever. Cool. I have no problem with that. I definitely don't have a problem with shaking my drink.

[B]

Just.

[A]

I see. I see the shaking. And you'd like them to be like, you know what? You know what? This is ridiculous. No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. But, like, the. The, like, the idea that they're giving me something, and they're like, you should be honored that I'm giving it to you. Like, how could you possibly feel that way? It's on their menu. You order it, they make it, they give it to you. I know, I know, I know. Listen, I'm aware in this moment that I might be being a little insane, but for the sake of the conversation, like, I think that there's, like, there's almost like a certain. I've been to bars where the bartenders have a certain, like, arrogance to them. And, like, it's like, dude, you're just like, I value and respect what you're doing, but, like, don't believe that because you're doing something. You're now the most, like, tortured soul artist in the world.

[C]

I'm so confused by this tape. Cause, like, I've never seen a bartender actor.

[A]

Oh, forgive me. That I guess I am. I am of a. What places are you going to? I'm not. And going now in my life have

[C]

been to places like that I have never seen. I feel like.

[B]

I feel like Frankie, if he came in literally tomorrow and you ask him the same question, he might be on the other side, honestly.

[A]

But that's the beauty. Zoom in tight. That's the beauty of this country, in this world.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We get the opportunity to one day, with our current experiences, have one opinion, and the next day experience something that brings us elsewhere on that opinionated spectrum. And that is a beautiful place to live in. And that is a beautiful place. Now, if you want me to just be spanked by the opinion gods over here, then so be it. But I like that my opinions on life could be fluid. So, yes, maybe tomorrow I come in with something different.

[C]

So now that we know that you are fully spanked, we do have some

[A]

sponsors for today's episode.

[C]

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you need to get some therapy, better help has you covered. They can get you onboarded in just under 48 hours and also help you find the right fit for you. Okay. So you can transfer from therapist to therapist to make sure you're finding the right person that vibes with you and your situation and help you out. I've been in therapy for years now. I think that it's very important that people do it. I think anyone can benefit from it and not just people that are maybe going through something traumatic. I think that it's just going to the gym for your mind. It's really good. I love it. So I had therapy today, but anyway, you can go check out BetterHelp. They have over 30,000 therapists. It's the number one largest therapy platform in the world. And yeah, you can sign up and save some money. Get 10% off at betterhelp.com basementyard that is betterhelp.com basement yard to get 10% off of your therapy. All right, so enjoy that, folks. And we also have hims. Okay? HIMS offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including chews, oral medication, serums and sprays. Okay. Prescription strength ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil can help prevent further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. All right, so they have a bunch of different things you want to go on. Find out what's best for you. They have once a day stuff that you can use to help you with your hair loss or, or regrowing your hair in as little as three to six months. But yeah, it's all about finding the right treatment for you. It's straightforward and transparent and designed to make, you know, getting the care feel easy. And for simple online access to personal, personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss and more, visit hims.combasement that is hims.com/basement for your free online visit. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. Individual results may vary. See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information.

[A]

Well, him, hers, they, thems, however you choose to identify. You know what you're gonna love the base vineyard patreon baby patreon.com the base vineyard is the service that we use where we give you guys a little bit of us a little sooner and a little bit extra. It's honestly a little fun and you can go check it out. Patreon.com the Basementyard Take a gander at the different tiers that we got there because that first tier, that's going to get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance, seven whole days ahead of people that are non patrons. And then that second tier, well, that's where you get to get exclusive episodes every single Friday. That I will tell you transparently and candidly often get off the rails. And if you think that there's somehow that this show can get more off the rails than what it is on the weekly episode, well, boy, you have not seen any of the Patreon stuff. And guess what? If you go to patreon.com and you sign up for that second tier and you get those exclusive videos every single Friday, you're also going to get the backlog of everything that has come before it. So it's not like it's like, oh, I signed up today. I get everything from here on out, hundreds of hours of content that you're going to be able to consume with those beautiful windows of the soul, as I call them, aka your eyes. So go to patreon.com the basementyard check it out and maybe you'll want to join. I think it's worth it. And if you want to save yourself a couple extra buckaroos while you're doing it, you know, go to patreon.com the Basement Yard on a web browser. If you use the smart app, it's going to take a couple extra bucks from you. Why? Because they got to pay our tech overlords. Those lizard people. Allegedly. So. Patreon.com the Basement Yard thank you to the over 51,000 of you guys that are paid patrons. It's honestly amazing and we want to make sure we are tailoring what we are giving you as to what you like. So go check it out. Patreon.com the Basement Yard Also, there's merch options available new Merch options available. The Santa got a studio. Studios [e-mail]. why don't you go over there, take a gander at whatever's over there. You might like something, maybe give it to the Santa Gado Studios fan in your life as a gift. The holidays are only six months away, which is a crazy thing to say. It's never too early to get a jump on the holiday season, so go check it out. Santagotostudios.com and the boys are back on the road. Bing, bang, bing, bang, boom. Doing live shows again. Maybe we're coming to a city near you. Maybe the tickets are still available at a city near you. We did add some second shows in some places. You're going to want to check them out, but if you go to the basebanyard.com you'll be able to look down at that list. So go check it out. Maybe you want to make a trip out of it. I don't know. But you could find all information on the live shows@the basementyard.com. so we got three websites. That's not a lot. We got patreon.com the basement yard for the subscription service. We got sanadostudios.com for some merch options and. And then we got the basement yard.com for some live show options. So go check it out. We love you, we thank you, we appreciate you. Back to Joey. I did that. Well, that was pretty good.

[C]

You should do commercials.

[B]

I always love when the links are the name of the thing makes it so easy.

[C]

What does that mean?

[B]

Like where? The Basement Yard. The Basement Yard dot com. Boom.

[A]

Yeah, because you know there's some old boomer out there that's just like, I like the Basement yard. Let me go to the basementyard.com and just. And then it's like, wow, this is streamlined and easy for me, an old person who's an idiot.

[B]

I meant for everybody, but yeah, no, yes.

[A]

It works for the other people that are.

[C]

We still have to go for lobster rolls and a bottle of white wine.

[A]

Oh, fucking. Oh, spritz. Honestly, Hugo, whatever that dumb asshole name

[B]

is, I genuinely don't think I've ever gotten mad at Joe. If he brings it up one more time and we don't do it, I'm going to.

[C]

How is this on me?

[B]

I'll just start getting there.

[A]

Forgive.

[B]

Well, it's on one. It's on somebody. On somebody.

[A]

Forgive. For our schedule collectively has been crazy. All of us as a. As a trio.

[B]

That's actually true.

[A]

As an ensemble. Ish. So like. So like, it's like a thing. But we will get there. Don't you worry. You're sweet head of yours.

[C]

We will. I think that we should commit to sometime in the next two weeks.

[B]

Monday.

[A]

Well, you got.

[C]

You got Monday.

[A]

As of recording, you guys are doing the card a thon. So you guys got a lot going on.

[B]

I do.

[C]

So he's trying to make an excuse for you.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, like, I. I don't want to. I don't know if you're, like, looking to escape that or if, like, you feel compelled to get back and win.

[B]

Winning?

[A]

Already Already winning.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

He doesn't know. Anything could happen.

[B]

It's true. It's a lot of time.

[A]

Okay, well, back to me.

[C]

Oh, we're done with you. We saw you. Can you pull up the. The gelato thing?

[B]

I could pull up.

[C]

We've had this for, like, weeks, and we never brought it up, but I'm so in the mood for gelato.

[A]

Cares about gelato, dude.

[C]

You don't care about gelato?

[A]

I don't think I've ever had gelato, like, proper.

[C]

What?

[A]

I got ice cream because I'm an adult in America.

[C]

You've got a lot of hard takes.

[A]

I know.

[C]

I.

[A]

Honestly, that one felt pretty charged, and I'm gonna stand behind it. Okay.

[C]

You've never had gelato in your life?

[A]

I don't think I have.

[C]

You never had, like, a. Like a hazelnut gelato?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Can I ask a serious question? And I know I'm not the only person that. That wonders this difference. What's the difference between gelato and ice cream?

[C]

You know, for me, it's just one of those things that I don't want to know.

[A]

You don't need to know.

[C]

I'm assuming it's something.

[A]

It's one of those things. Like, if I went to a super artsy bar, I'd be like, what's your favorite dessert bartender that just shook my. You know, my. My vodka tonic for 12 minutes. What's your favorite D. Gelato. That's what I expect. So are these people that have gelato just fucking.

[C]

I'm starting to think that you've never been outside in your life.

[A]

That's what I'm trying. I absolutely have.

[C]

You're.

[A]

And I love the outside. I just told you I was in the ocean.

[C]

I feel like you're picturing the guy who's the food critic in Ratatouille, and

[A]

you're Like, Anton Ego, the guy.

[C]

That's the guy who makes your cocktails for you, and you're like, oh, my God.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. He's too Anton Ego. I believe that's his name. Fact check the name of that. Because that.

[C]

That movie Ratatouille being the food is outrageous.

[A]

Not the name.

[C]

How could that be? No, no, no, I meant, like, that's the dish that got him Ratatouille.

[A]

I. If you want. That movie is so beautiful. I love that movie. It makes. I'm not kidding. There are there. I think it was like Anthony Bourdain, RIP Said that, like this. That is the best movie about simulating the restaurant to, like, critic experience. Because, like, that's what they're all trying to do is like, they're all trying to bring a dish that's not elevated. Elevated to a point that it elicits that response from people. That movie is on my list of what I believe are perfect movies.

[C]

I think that after I watched that movie, I wanted to just be friends with a rat for like, a little bit.

[A]

I'm gonna ask you a serious question.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's the name of the rat?

[C]

Rat.

[B]

You don't know the name?

[A]

So that's what a lot of people name is. A lot of people thinking his first letter are. A lot of people think it's Rufus.

[C]

Nope, that's. What's his name. From fucking Kim. Yeah, that's a mole rat. His name is Rodolfo.

[A]

Good job. So, like, what is it? It's not Rodolfo.

[C]

I'm aware.

[A]

That's a good guess. I'm not gonna tell you.

[C]

What's the second letter?

[A]

No, I'm not telling you.

[C]

E. What do you get out of that?

[A]

You feel good? Do you feel good? I think it bothers you that you don't know.

[C]

It doesn't.

[A]

Okay, so live the rest of your life never knowing Frank. I could look it up at any point in my life and get it, but don't.

[C]

Why not?

[A]

Because if you cared that.

[C]

What game are you playing in your head? What do you get out of this?

[A]

I'm shaking my cocktail back here. You're worse. His name is Remy.

[C]

That's right. I did know that.

[A]

His name is Remy. Remy, not Rodolfo.

[C]

Rodolfo is someone's name.

[B]

I'm not sure that's.

[A]

I don't think there's any of the rats.

[C]

No, there's a Rodolfo, I don't think.

[A]

Good name.

[C]

I don't know if it's a Rat's name.

[B]

But gelato uses more milk, less cream. Also, if I brought in gelato, pistachio gelato, and gelato ice cream and I put it in front of you, you'd be like, the difference is astounding.

[A]

I'm going to go one step further. Pistachio flavoring is so middle.

[C]

Oh, I don't think so. I think pistachio and like a croissant. Love that.

[A]

Cool. Without it, it goes.

[C]

I'd like it better than, like a chocolate stuffed thing.

[A]

I just don't like pistachio. I was talking with Dylan, of all

[C]

people about this about pistachio.

[A]

Pistachio. Because he. I think he called himself Pistachio Aura. And I said, like, such a mid flavoring.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think so. I like it. But if you walk into a gelato spot. If you walked into a gelato spot and you saw all these, which, like, three are you considering you want all.

[A]

Okay, all right. I'm gonna go off of not just the name of the. The flavor, but just the appeal of the. Like, that is. Some of those are beautiful. Immediately top. Easiest answer I've ever given in my entire life. Salted caramel.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Holy shit.

[C]

Anything that salted caramel. I'm good.

[A]

It like, and. And not like, I'll be cool around it. I'll be shy around salted caramel. I'll be like, I like.

[C]

I love salted caramel. Anything.

[B]

It's.

[C]

I think it's probably one of the best flavors ever. Also, I'm looking at right below her. Brown sugar.

[A]

Also always good. So my 3 off rip. I'm going salted caramel, cherry, and New York cheese cherry. Dude, I don't know. Listen. I know, I know. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. For like, just give me a minute of your time.

[C]

You've talked this entire time. Give me a minute of your time.

[A]

Watch. I'm shutting up now. I'll never talk ever again.

[C]

Oh, no. We're all hurting now.

[A]

What the is taro is like a berry. It's like a root.

[C]

Oh, right.

[A]

Am I. Am I wrong? Like tarot root behind that taro root.

[C]

What about cotton candy with two guns?

[A]

I'm shooting this thing. I honestly wouldn't even consider that. I don't. I like cotton candy. Cotton candy flavored things is one of those things that, like, I just. I can't ever get behind.

[C]

I think there was a time in my life, though, that I would not have passed up cotton candy.

[A]

I mean, the kids Are there? I can tell you that right now. Like, there have been several times where I've gone to the ice cream shop. They get cotton candy and they'll get cotton candy and they just won't like it because it's just like the blue.

[C]

Let me ask you a question. Where are you? I don't think it's up here. No, but where are you on like birthday cake flavoring and shit?

[A]

It's got to be like. It can't just be like. There's just sprinkles in it. It needs to have a bit of that, like raw batter taste. It's got like.

[B]

But it's.

[C]

There's the little colors.

[A]

If it's just the colors, then don't call it birthday cake. Call it confetti.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, to my understanding, like, if you're gonna do like cake batter flavored things, it needs to taste like you're licking the spoon of cake batter.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

I do. Too bad for you. But what the point I was making about cherry. I have had a. You know how I was with my ice cream? I was a briars nasher. Vanilla. Yeah, cherry vanilla.

[C]

Lately cherry vanilla.

[A]

Cherry vanilla. It's vanilla with like cherry infused and then like giant chunks of cherry. I love cherries.

[B]

No.

[C]

What the fuck is unicorn?

[B]

I feel like that's like a birthday cake.

[A]

Yeah, that's one of those where it's just like the colors are in there.

[C]

Chunky monkey cookie butter might come home with me.

[B]

Surprise. Joe doesn't like chocolate therapy.

[C]

Is that. Oh, I don't even know what that is.

[B]

I don't know what that is.

[C]

I'm not a big chocolate.

[A]

That's a real. I'm not gonna kid. That's a great joke that you made. I like that a lot.

[C]

Some people like also green tea. I'd rather be shot by a horse.

[A]

I've never had green tea flavor. Like, that's one of those things. Like, I love green tea, but the flavor of green tea and ice cream, I can't imagine liking it.

[C]

I think I've been in a gelato place before and they had a one that was Earl Grey.

[A]

I'm like, what is that? I mean, no, it's. I know what Earl Gray.

[C]

I've had an Earl Grey. But like,

[B]

yo.

[C]

Also overrated. Cookies and cream.

[A]

It's overrated.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

That is. It's overrated. Cookies and cream. Anything is overrated. You know what? I don't feel passionately enough the other way to do anything but defend you here. So I'm with you on.

[C]

But that's what I'm saying. Like the cookies and cream, they like to put it up there with like the vanillas or the chocolates or like these heavy hitters. Cookies and cream is not. Not that guy.

[A]

I don't. It's not cookies.

[C]

It's not.

[A]

All right, cookie dough. All right, all right. Give me your Mount Rushmore of cookie flavors.

[C]

Cookie.

[A]

I mean, sorry, what?

[C]

Of ice cream.

[A]

Give me your Mount Rushmore of ice cream flavors.

[C]

Vanilla, Duh. Cookie dough.

[A]

Cookie dough.

[B]

No, it's not your favorite. It's about Mt. Rushmore.

[A]

It's about Mt. Rushmore. The four that you would put as the representation.

[C]

I would. I mean, so, okay, whatever. I mean, vanilla, Absolutely.

[A]

I think it's vanilla, chocolate, strawberry.

[C]

They're the Neapolitan. And then what? There's a fourth one. What the hell would you even put there then? If you guys want to play these rules.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

That's a great question. It's like, what would be the fourth, though?

[C]

Is there a fourth?

[A]

It's like the argument, like, what's the third major city?

[C]

Unfortunately, you want to do this. Unfortunately. The fourth would probably be like mint chocolate chip or some shit.

[A]

I will tell you three guns for that one.

[C]

I would put every gun that exists.

[A]

I think. I think the obvious, the easiest answer would just be just plain old chocolate chip.

[C]

Boring. I mean, for me, my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough.

[A]

Oh, mine. Mine right now is cherry vanilla. If not regular ass vanilla.

[C]

America's top ten ice cream flavors.

[B]

I thought it'd be bigger.

[C]

Nope, it ain't.

[A]

Just zoom in. Zoom in command.

[C]

Give us a zoom. Yeah. So we got vanilla, chocolate, cookies and cream. There's no possible way.

[A]

This is overrated. Chocolate chip cookie dough. I guess that makes sense. Chocolate chip cookie dough. You know what's better?

[C]

You know what's better than cookies and cream? Oreo. It's different.

[A]

Is it, brother?

[B]

Is it different?

[A]

Is it. Is that not. Is that not feels? I think cookies and cream was birthed through the anus of Oreo.

[C]

It's. That's probably fair. I just don't think it's. It's like one of the heavy hitters is that mocha.

[A]

Moose tracks. What the fuck is that?

[C]

Moose tracks is like there's like chunks of chocolate in or something. But isn't tracks poop?

[A]

No, that's the hooves. No, he means like, like bear tracks. Skid marks. You're talking like marks?

[C]

No, track.

[A]

Don't they say, like bear tracks? No, that's Bear scat and moose scat.

[C]

I swore tracks was like.

[B]

Tracks is like the. The paw print. Like, oh, bear around.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. Where have you heard of tracks being fecal matter?

[B]

Joe might be right, actually.

[C]

I have no idea.

[A]

So, strawberry, Yo.

[C]

Low key. As I'm getting older.

[A]

Strawberry.

[C]

Strawberry is good.

[A]

It's making it up. I fully agree. Fully agree. It's making its way up.

[C]

Cookie dough is just a flavor. I didn't know that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's. It's basically just like a vanilla with cookie dough chunks without the chocolate chip

[C]

buttered pecan being number six. That is mind blowing.

[A]

My guy, my guy, my guy. The south, they love. They love it as they specify it down there.

[C]

Mint chocolate chip is the biggest fraud in the world.

[A]

I. I don't. I'm not even kidding you.

[C]

Disgusting.

[A]

I've had it, and I still can't imagine how people like it.

[C]

I don't get it.

[A]

Because there are certain things I could try and be like.

[C]

I get it.

[A]

There's people that. Like, that mint chocolate chip is the. Like, they just clash.

[C]

Also, like, peppermint patties. Like, that sort of thing where you get, like, minty chocolate. Like, this is a very.

[A]

Doesn't. Doesn't make sense. I'm with you.

[C]

Like, I don't know. I'm just.

[A]

Wait, so go back to the gelato thing. So my top three, I went New York cheesecake. I went. Oh, did you? I went, new York cheesecake. That's a good cherry and salted caramel. Give me your top three. I see you said brown sugar. What are the other two on there?

[C]

Well, I said salted caramel for sure, because anything caramel, I usually. Oh, man. See, I don't want to get all the same type of, though, because I would do, like, cookie butter, brown sugar, and salted caramel, but I'm gonna switch it up. Oh, can I. No. I'm changing the rules here. I was gonna say, can I get two? I would order two. Like, you get one in one of different scoops. Yeah. Like, you get two scoops in one cup, and you get. My guy.

[A]

My guy, my guy. Just pick three flavors. Yeah, you could get one of each in the same cup. It doesn't matter.

[B]

That's Frankie's eighth. My guy.

[C]

Yeah, I'm gonna go salted caramel.

[A]

Yes. Welcome to the club.

[C]

I'm actually gonna go cookie butter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And then I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll go stracciatella.

[B]

Can I ask.

[A]

I was gonna ask.

[C]

What is that it's just like chocolate and.

[A]

But why did not just call it.

[C]

It's like chocolate hardened chocolate syrup and like vanilla.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

I think that's it. Actually. It was on a TikTok account.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I might get the hazelnut if I'm feeling like a little ho.

[A]

I love how hazelnut is just almost chocolate, but there's that nuttiness to it. I kind of like that.

[C]

You know what I like when shit has a little chunk in there and I'm not really expecting it.

[A]

See, I. I like a chocolate chip. I don't like a chocolate chunk. I feel like I need some. I need some rules and order to this. I can't have chunks. Give me uniform. Uniform chips. Don't just like a cowboy in the wild west, just throw different sized chunks in there?

[C]

Yeah, there's.

[A]

Yeah, it's like that scene in Casino where he has the blueberry muffin and there's like two blueberries in it and the other guy has one and it's like 15 blueberries.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Uniform the chips.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I mean, I like a chunk if I'm expecting a chunk, but if I'm not expecting a chunk, what are we doing here?

[A]

Is this. I. I don't know if I could go out and speak for you outside of the flavors that we don't understand. Like taro.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know what that is.

[A]

I think I can imagine that you hate the following flavors.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I could see you hating lemon.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't like lemon flavored pastries. I think you're in the same boat. Like, I go back and forth with

[C]

it, but this would be too much for me.

[A]

Me, I can imagine you hate mint brownie. Cuz not only have they disrespected mint and chocolate, but then they put it in brownie form, which I. I think you're a fan of.

[C]

That's a. Yeah, but this is an abomination.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. It's like when like two hillbilly cousins have a kid and it's like, what is this?

[B]

You know,

[A]

I forgot this was a Patreon.

[B]

Well, not a Patreon.

[C]

Not at all. Actually.

[A]

I forgot, I forgot, I forgot also. We could do without raspberry, right?

[C]

I like it.

[A]

I like raspberries.

[C]

I think raspberry is actually really good. I would throw green tea on the ground.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

Unicorn I'm throwing on the ground.

[A]

Also, blueberry, like, not. Doesn't deserve its own flavor.

[C]

It looks too chunky.

[A]

It doesn't deserve its own flavor.

[C]

Like, she Looks too chunky.

[A]

You have not earned a leading role yet. Blueberry.

[C]

Although they are the leaders in pies, blueberry pie is a fantastic pie.

[A]

Gone on record. I'll continue to be on this record. I don't like any pie because cooked fruit is disgusting to me, honestly.

[C]

You got to come back around on that.

[B]

They have the best muffins.

[C]

Have you ever had a cobbler?

[A]

No.

[C]

Fucking cobbler I just don't like.

[A]

I just watched some dude on TikTok make a peach cobbler and, like, it looked fun, fun for him, but I'm not in.

[C]

It's good.

[A]

Can you do me a favor?

[B]

Yes, Sir.

[A]

Get like 12 pies one day and let's do a pie taste.

[C]

I did this years ago, pie versus cake, and I hated all the pies. I had a cherry pie. I would have rather eat your ass after a workout.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. But also disrespectful to my ass because I know how much you hate cherries.

[C]

Yeah, well, I don't like hate cherries. Like, cherries are fine. I just. Gary Vee. I don't like cherries. No, it's not the cherry. It's the cherry pie. It was too much cherry. Didn't like it.

[A]

Get hit up your people from the bakery? Yeah, get the bakery and have them make a cherry, a blueberry, an apple, a peach cobbler. Poor. Use the crumpety credit card on this, okay?

[C]

The crumpety.

[A]

The crumple.

[C]

And also, we're gonna need a lot of vanilla ice cream on top of these.

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Bakery. That's called the Crumpany.

[C]

Yeah, unfortunately, it's gonna need more than that.

[A]

Don't.

[C]

Just a name.

[B]

Billion dollars.

[C]

Hold on while you.

[A]

While you think about that, let's get

[C]

to the rest of these sponsors. I just remembered. That is a thing. Listen, we have here Door Dash. Okay? Doordash. You guys know Doordash. You can go onto their platform and you can order pretty much, you know, anything you need to your apartment, whether it be, you know, food or something from a convenience store or anything like that. But also, I think a way that people don't think about Doordash is in the way that you can, like, connect and help with other people as well. You know, we actually, me and Frank a while ago did this thing with DoorDash, where for mother's Day, we sent our mom's flowers with Doordash. So you can connect with people in that sort of way as well. If it's Mother's Day or whatever it is. You could send flowers to people via doordash. And, you know, just for your friends, you want to make your friend feel happy or you're thinking about them, send them a little doordash. You know, they like ice cream. Boom, they want some gelato.

[A]

We're talking about gelato.

[C]

Send your friend a gelato. She's studying for her a quiz. Or your friend is, you know, going through something. Send them a little something, maybe their favorite snack or something like that. It's a nice way to connect via doordash. Okay, don't just buy everything for yourself, even though you could use it in that way as well. You want to make yourself happy as well. But you can use doordash to connect with the people that you love, sending them flowers or sending them their favorite treat or whatever the case is. You can help them out. I've also used doordash in the past. You know, Nicole wasn't feeling well before we were living together, and I sent her a little care package with some, like, what's just a couple of things, you know what I mean? So it's like that. But go check out Door Dash. Go give it a go. Go give it a check. And yeah, don't be afraid to connect. You know, Door Dash makes showing up for the people you love easy. All right, delivered Door Dash. Order now. And lastly, here we have little spoon. Okay. Little spoon supports babies from the very first feed. It starts with organic infant formula for those first bottles, then moves into baby cereal and baby blends when solids begin, first bites, first spoons, all of it. And yeah, they have pretty much everything. It's everything is designed for the stage that babies are in. It's made with simple ingredients, and it's tested for 500 contaminants, including heavy metals, so that you know that your babies and toddlers are not eating those contaminants and including, like, heavy metals, like I said. But they have a bunch of stuff they have beyond smoothies and yoga snap pouches. I know Frank's big on the little spoon.

[A]

Oh, our kids went through those smoothies quick. They're very good. I'm tasting a little myself. How you doing? Also feels good to give them something that I don't have to worry about where it's coming from.

[C]

Exactly. They have over 100 plus ingredients banned across the board. I don't. You don't have to overthink any of the labels or anything like that. So it's good. And feeding the kids doesn't have to be complicated. It makes it easy with real Nutritionally balanced meals and snacks designed for every stage. It shows up ready to go. It takes the pressure off and yeah it's great. So get 30% off of your first order online order@little spoon.com basement with the code basement that is L I T T L E S P o o n.com basement with the code basement for 30% off of your first order. Okay so that is little spoon.com basement with that code basement. Enjoy that 30% off and I don't

[A]

so a bakery crump called the Crumpany and the slogan is. It's about the crumpany you keep. Yeah and it's just a good business that will work because it's just off of name and concept alone. Cool.

[C]

We can we get some pies. We'll do it on patreon. We'll have a pie eating.

[B]

We'll.

[A]

They might not cuz they're an Italian bakery you might need.

[B]

No we're just this I'm just have to just go to a store and.

[A]

No no no don't don't go get.

[C]

No no no. We're going to a bakery.

[A]

I know where you go honestly.

[C]

Martha's.

[A]

Martha's Bakery in Historia Queens.

[C]

There's one in Brooklyn too.

[A]

Just don't no no go to Historia Queens. Say hi.

[B]

Yeah no I, I I go there.

[A]

I'll give you my old address. You can wave to my old house.

[B]

Sure. Company credit card for that one. Martha's Bakery.

[C]

Yeah, she goes up there.

[B]

She goes up there.

[A]

How many what are so there's there's pie trion a pie tryon. Oh that's a great one. Or Petra pie. We'll go with the first one. So we have blueberry pie.

[C]

Blueberry pie. We'll do I'll retry the cherry pie

[A]

but cherry pie types of pies. This is a great point.

[C]

We need an apple pie.

[A]

Cream pies. None that we need to try.

[C]

Oh yeah. Let's get a cream pie in here.

[A]

Who doesn't like that Aunt seemed very excited for everybody like well everybody loves the cream pie. So we have fruit pies.

[C]

I've never had a banana cream pie. I might be into that.

[A]

I might be into the cream pie. I'll be honest with you. Yeah.

[C]

Yo. Honestly, cream pies may be the the ultimate pies. Cream pies.

[B]

His this too many Frank. It's not fair.

[C]

Coconut cream pie.

[A]

I don't.

[C]

Hold on.

[A]

What's better than a cream pie?

[C]

A little bit of coconut in it or a little banana in your cream pie?

[B]

Banana.

[C]

Yo all jokes aside, banana cream pie me up. Custard pie, blasting that.

[A]

Yeah, yo, by the way, I will

[C]

say I had a pumpkin pie once and I fingered it. It's an unbelievable feeling on your hands.

[B]

It's not fair.

[A]

We. I wish. I wish we could end the episode there or cut to more ads. Can you just make up more ads?

[C]

I guarantee, you get a pumpkin pie in here, which I guess is considered a cream pie, and you put your finger in it, you tell me that you don't want to blast the thing to hell.

[A]

You tell me, you know what a legitimate thing that we can and will do on Patreon. I do like custards. So, like, I guess that makes sense. And I. And I do like. Like, I know I'm gonna sound like such a boomer here, but I do like Cool Whip. So, like, if that were the cream and the cream. That's such a boomer thing.

[C]

I love Cool Whip.

[A]

Cool Whip, yeah. I. I could see myself enjoying that. Like, I do like custard. Like, one time we made this. You've never been to stomatis, but, like, they have a dessert called. Oh, you've been to kikladas, right?

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, they have. It's like what they give you for free at the end. It's called, like, galacta burico. It's kind of like a custard pie under filo dough.

[C]

A garlic booty hole.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I love a garlic booty

[C]

hole,

[A]

but I can't. I can't get behind a cream pie just because.

[C]

Nah, come on, dudes, bro, don't get behind a cream pie. Get in the green.

[A]

Get in. Be the cream pie.

[C]

Be the.

[A]

Don't. Just don't get behind the cream pie.

[C]

Get into the.

[A]

Live in the cream pie.

[C]

Yeah, you got to get in the cream pie.

[A]

All right, so we are establishing here, Joey wants to be cream pied for Patreon. If there's ever a reason to go on Patreon and sign up, it's because you will see Joey get cream pie. You will.

[C]

I mean, you have to, too. You have to get it, too. You have to get.

[A]

I'm not saying I'm. I'm contributing.

[C]

You're getting a banana cream pie, and you're going to fucking like, oh, see

[A]

how he put the banana in there? Because he's afraid that people aren't going to. They're why they're going to get.

[C]

It's a type of cream pie. You can't just get a crazy cream pie. It's just cream pie.

[A]

I mean, I, I've, I've watched old timey movies from like the 90s. Like a cream pie just looks like it's cool whip in a. What's it called? A

[C]

dish? Pastry.

[A]

Yeah, like that's what.

[C]

Crust?

[A]

Yeah. Yes, that's what I was looking for. A graham cracker crust.

[C]

You don't think that.

[A]

Why you say like a parrot

[C]

you have. You don't think that an apple pie, like, aesthetically you're like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

[A]

Aesthetically even I, I've never seen a pie and been like, that looks ugly. Like it all like the artistry behind the pie. I wish those goddamn bartenders put effort into pies the way they do their vodka tonic.

[C]

Yeah, you know, I, I'm really into pie.

[A]

Like, blueberry pie looks good looking. It just.

[C]

Blueberry pie is fantastic.

[A]

I just don't like cooked fruit. It's a, it's a texture thing for me. Like, slimy fruit is not. I, I just can't.

[C]

I think there's less of that in a blueberry pie.

[A]

But I've had like. This is going to be the worst version of it. I know, but follow me here. I've had like the McDonald's baked apple pies. It's the cooked. It's the texture of a slimy apple.

[C]

You like oysters?

[A]

Yeah, but that's like. I like oysters because I know that that's what they are. I like apples because they're crunchy and crisp.

[C]

I don't know what this apple is.

[A]

No, no, but like I, I know apples to be crunchy and crisp and airy and soft. Not just change your mind, just change. If only it were that easy, Joey. If only. You know what? Oh, I'm so. You're not. You're feeling the blues. Hey, just don't be sad. How about that? I can't just.

[C]

Totally different.

[A]

I can't just change my mind on what I think about apples, so.

[C]

Because the first time you ate an apple, it was crunchy. You're like, I just couldn't possibly imagine this apple in any sort of.

[A]

Not the first time. How about the first 33 years of my life? I had it and I was like, apples, they'd be crisp, they'd be crunchy, they be.

[B]

They.

[A]

They be tart.

[C]

Yes. It's just another way of doing it. Same with you had a little ice cream on it.

[A]

Also, I've said this before. Harry Potter ruined me. Like, like this scene of what Harry

[C]

Potter did what to you?

[A]

He Cream pied us.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This scene of, Of Ron coughing up the bugs when he gets hit with his spell back at him when he has the broken wand. That's what I imagine having an apple or peach pie is like.

[B]

The, The.

[C]

But you don't feel that way about literal oysters.

[A]

No, because I know oysters to be what oysters are.

[C]

Yes, but they are like that.

[A]

No, not to me.

[C]

They're not.

[A]

Slimy oysters. Yeah, but I, I. I was introduced to them as slimy, and I will live.

[C]

But you're saying it's a texture thing and you don't mind the slime.

[A]

Because I got into it knowing it's the slime. I did not get into apples knowing that these could also be slimy.

[C]

They're not really slimy, bro.

[A]

Look up a picture of someone dumping out apple pie filling. It looks like ooze.

[C]

We're gonna. We're gonna turn this guy into a.

[B]

What's that?

[C]

Inside out?

[B]

I didn't say that.

[A]

You can't. Did you say inside out?

[C]

We're gonna turn this guy inside out.

[A]

After Joe's saying he's getting cream pie. We're get some cream pies in here

[C]

and turn this guy inside out.

[A]

Oh, by the way, you demonetize the video by doing that. Not me.

[C]

No, you can say cream pie.

[B]

It's a food we sang in the beginning.

[A]

Neil's not dumb. He knows.

[C]

He's, like, watching.

[A]

I know what they're saying.

[C]

I'm into the, the cream pies, I think.

[B]

Good for you, man. Good for you.

[C]

I've never had a banana cream, but that sounds really good.

[A]

I don't. It sounds.

[C]

You don't do. Is that you? You don't like banana?

[A]

I like bananas. I don't like banana flavoring.

[B]

Me too. I think it's literally might be the worst flavoring and sometimes peach.

[A]

Nothing, nothing worse than green apple flavoring.

[B]

That's fine.

[C]

That's a crazy taste.

[A]

Nothing worse.

[C]

I don't even know what. I guess, like, licorice is nasty.

[A]

That's a good one.

[B]

Yeah, but that's, like. You don't even count those.

[C]

Yeah. Who likes that?

[A]

My mom.

[B]

All right, we could count.

[C]

My mom might like it too, actually.

[A]

I guess we'll count them. My mom used to like.

[C]

Didn't your mom like Good and Plenty?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, what a disgusting candy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And candy she's earned the title of that makes her a disgusting person. What? Also like, they look like they look like pills.

[C]

Yeah. What?

[A]

Like they don't look like candy. They look like paint pills.

[C]

It looks like Diamond Tap.

[A]

It looks like. Oh, like this is a Tylenol.

[C]

Is there even sugar in this? Like, is can we call it can?

[A]

But here's the thing is, I don't like. Not only are they not good, I don't want any to define them as plenty.

[C]

Yeah, one is enough.

[A]

So what of the worst? Name things because they're not good and I don't want a plenty of them.

[B]

It does look just like pills.

[C]

It is.

[A]

It does.

[C]

Dude, how are they still in production?

[A]

Just do me a favor. Google who the hell still has good in plenty.

[B]

What does that mean exactly?

[A]

Nothing's gonna come. Something will come up. It's just gonna come up.

[B]

People like. Or a store.

[C]

People who like licorice.

[A]

Google. Okay, this is an order.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Who the hell still has Good and Plenty's. And let's see.

[C]

Hershey.

[B]

Hershey.

[A]

Yeah. Of course, I was looking more for like, a. What kind of monster?

[C]

What did you.

[B]

It's not a magic book. It's not like, just magic.

[A]

Shut up. Yes, it is.

[B]

Yeah, it is kind of a magic.

[C]

It is kind of magic.

[B]

It is kind of.

[A]

It is absolutely.

[B]

Did I. Yeah, you just like anything. You want to know most things, you just type it in.

[A]

It is like, how did the Choco Taco die before Good and Plenty?

[C]

I think they're back.

[A]

How did tacos.

[C]

Whoever was not on board with that. You're a bitch.

[A]

Those things are. How did. How the hell did. Give me a candy that is gone forever. How the hell did. I can't even think of one.

[C]

There might not be one.

[A]

Yes, there definitely is. Like, discontinued candies or.

[C]

Do you like taffy?

[A]

Like, real. Like saltwater taffy. Yes.

[C]

What's not taffy?

[A]

The. Of the laffy variety.

[C]

Oh, no. I'm thinking of, like, taffy.

[A]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

I like how they package that.

[A]

I like how they package it because it feels rustic, but it's just mass produced. Like everything else.

[C]

But, like, the. The paper that it's in, it's like. What is that?

[A]

Wax paper, I believe.

[C]

No, I know. It just. It feels like. Like it's like deli paper.

[A]

Yeah, it feels. That's what I mean by recipe baloney on this. It feels handmade. Like, I feel like I'm help. I'm supporting a real person by getting this.

[C]

I love going into a shop also, and they have, like, a wall of flavors of shit. I'm like, let's go, dude.

[A]

If the next time I need taffy in my life, I'm Just taffy. Just for me. I mean, didn't fucking. Aren't Hercules candy? Like, didn't they send us stuff because they were fans?

[C]

That is true, Hercules. I am.

[A]

We need you again.

[C]

I am afraid of things in the mail that are food, though.

[A]

That is fair. Honestly. Yeah. I won't accept food from. I won't, I won't. I'm freaked out by it.

[C]

Does anyone get put down like that anymore?

[A]

Brother, it's.

[C]

I ain't gonna be the first.

[A]

I'm not gonna be the. Yeah.

[C]

I can't eat the puffer fish.

[A]

There's a place. There's a place in Asbury park that's like an old time candy shop. And like, it's like dudes wear little hats. Great question. Is there a bar? Yeah.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

You walk in and it's like a circular bar. Then behind that there's another bar and they're like, what do you want?

[C]

And they just have like soda and

[A]

milkshakes, you know, I don't know if they got that. So let me back up. Let me manage your expectations. Oh, you meant like a fit, like an actual bar with alcohol.

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, let's go to that place in Manhattan that like makes like the old timey Coca Cola.

[C]

No, I'm talking about a bar that you sit at. It looks like a bar, but you order like milkshakes and.

[B]

Oh, they have one by. By me.

[C]

A milkshake bar.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

That's fire.

[A]

Dude. Stuff. Old time stuff like that is coming back. It's only a matter of time. It could be called the Crumpy.

[C]

What about. Wait, so the place that you. Dude, that sounds so fire to be like. Imagine like after work, instead of going to the bar, you go to the bar and you get a milk.

[B]

It has. I haven't been there a while, hoping it still has it, but it had like, you know, the booth. The single booth. No. Single stool with like the cushion. Yeah. And you go up and down and like, it's like the Jackson.

[A]

It looks like Jackson Hole, but it has candy.

[B]

Yeah, but. And there's a quality of candy you could get from and all that stuff.

[C]

I think that's.

[A]

I only wanted if the guy has a shirt with stripes.

[B]

Like the stripes. The red white. Yeah.

[A]

And his name's like Elgin Stewart or. Yeah, Elgin. Yeah, his name's like Eustace.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He has to sing. His name is Eugene. I'm not accepting candy from a place like that unless the person sings it.

[C]

He's got to be a lanky white. What a stupid Haircut.

[A]

Did you see that? Netflix is coming out with like a contest. It's like a Willy Wonka contest. They like built the candy factory.

[C]

That's so sick.

[A]

It's a show where.

[C]

It's like a real place.

[A]

Look at. Yeah, look it up. It's. It's. I think it's called like the Wonka contest or something.

[C]

You can like eat the walls.

[A]

I haven't watched it because it hasn't come out yet. I am going to say there's Gene Wilder's AI voice, which I'm not pumped about, but like, yeah, Wonko's the golden ticket.

[C]

Wait, so people build like, I think.

[A]

I mean, we'll have to wait and see. I saw just the trailer, cuz the trailer came out.

[C]

That is so fire. Dude.

[B]

I would.

[A]

But like they had like the Everlasting Gobstopper under the glass and like that. Here's the. Don't show this, Josh. Cuz we don't want Netflix to.

[B]

Yeah, we can't really show this Honestly face.

[C]

Honestly, it looks.

[A]

Wait till you see the inside.

[C]

No, no, no, no. They got the chocolate river, dude. Also, there's something about a chocolate bar that I'm just really horny by.

[A]

I'm right there, brother.

[C]

You know, like unraveling a chocolate bar, especially if you could do it neatly. And then you get to the foil, which is the underwear obviously. And then you take the underwear off and you're like, here you are. And I love when chocolate is. Is kind of engraved on top. And also I love when it's kind of got like.

[A]

Here's where the pieces. Yes, yes, yes. It like it's like perforated. Like it's like you're gonna break it right here and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

[C]

You break it. It's like a clean break. And I'm like, this is like a.

[A]

It Also as a father, like with young kids, like, it helps with like portioning out for the kids.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we've had like one year for Father's Day. The kids got me like a s' mores kit and. And it comes with like thing like the Hershey bars in it. It's so easy to be like half for you, half for you.

[B]

Did you know it's also a production thing to stop the bars from cracking and crumbling.

[C]

It helps.

[B]

Yeah. Genius.

[A]

I mean, win, win, genius chocolate bars. In my old age coming back, I'm into chocolate bars.

[C]

Haven't had a bar. You know what? I haven't in a while. Like a, like A Snickers.

[A]

Like a. Yeah, like the fun.

[C]

Like the fucking cigar bar. Like. Yeah, like a Milky Way Or a Twix. I haven't had one in so long.

[A]

Go out. Live a little.

[C]

All right. I just meant, like, I just. It's been a while. I'm not avoiding them.

[A]

I'm just saying if Netflix hears this, if they do a season two of that Netflix Wonka show.

[C]

And if you guys need someone to

[A]

show up and just eat.

[C]

Could do that.

[A]

Be honest with me for one fucking second. Are you doing the Augusta like everyone talked about him? I would do the Augustus Gloop with the river of Chocolate.

[B]

He wouldn't do it.

[C]

I would not do that. I would do a front flip into that fucking bitch.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

And fucking get in there. And also shoot me up the tube. I don't care if I die in this thing.

[A]

You want to. When I die, bury me inside a chocolate river.

[C]

Yeah, shoot me up the fucking. Whatever the fuck happens. Or I'll be like the other one. What's her name? Virginia.

[A]

Who gets all blue.

[C]

No violence.

[A]

You're turning pilot violet.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. That one.

[B]

That one kind of.

[C]

You'd be Mike. Tv.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I do love chewing gum, though I have to admit, he's kind of right.

[C]

He's.

[A]

When he's right, I give him his flowers.

[C]

Oh, actually, no. You'd be the other one.

[A]

Don't do this, don't do that. I forget her name.

[C]

Oh, she's the worst.

[A]

Which one?

[C]

The girl who's like, I want my.

[A]

My teddy bought me ten golden bars. Yeah, exactly. What's her name?

[C]

I forget. Veronica. That can't be right.

[A]

Virus? Verus Verusa. Bulk Verusa.

[C]

Salt. Arthur. Slugworth is such a good name.

[A]

Such a good name. And looks like a fucking slug, too. Yeah, he always reminded me of fucking. What's his name from who Framed Roger Rabbit?

[C]

Isn't that him?

[A]

No, that's not Slugworth.

[C]

He's in that movie, I think.

[A]

No, he is not. That's Christopher Lloyd.

[C]

That is Christopher Lloyd.

[A]

That's Christopher Lloyd. Dude, when's the last time you watch you frame Roger Rabbit?

[C]

The first time I watched it.

[A]

It is an incredible movie. Watch it with your current adult eyes. Terrifying, dude.

[C]

It's scary.

[A]

Well, that guy, when his eyes. And he's like. And he talks like this.

[C]

I was terrified of that scene.

[A]

Dude, pull up Judge Doom. Is that his name? Yeah. First of all, name is Judge Doom. What are you doing? Such a good movie.

[C]

Such a good movie, dude.

[A]

Like, worth watching it Again, I actually am gonna be getting it.

[C]

Yeah. See that scene? It scared, though.

[A]

I'll be getting it soon on vhs. Dude, that's terrifying.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't like that.

[B]

That's not great.

[C]

I was scared for way less.

[A]

I missed when kids movies tried to scare kids. Now they're just not. You know what I mean? Like, this was a kids movie and it's like, let's just put something absolutely fucking terrifying in here. Yeah, let's.

[C]

Let's put on. Instead of Blippi just being all nice, let him, like, cut someone's head off.

[A]

Well, no, no, no, no.

[C]

That.

[A]

That doesn't make it like, just put something in there that is just so out of left field it's going to scare the shit out of people. Like, what was the girl in fucking. Oh, man. The woman in the Exorcist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, that's not a kids movie. And Peewee's Big Adventure. Remember the fucking. What was the bus driver or something like that?

[B]

I don't know. I trust.

[A]

I've never seen Big Bertha. I think was her name.

[C]

Big Bertha.

[A]

Peewee's Big Adventure. Big Bertha. Or just put Scary Woman.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I've never seen Peewee's Big Adventure.

[A]

It's like one of those, like, cult classics that's like, what the fuck? Yeah, dude.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that'll do it.

[C]

Oh, yeah. This lady. I actually remember this.

[B]

Does it turn into this in the movie?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, geez. Yeah.

[C]

I don't get you.

[B]

Oh, I just.

[A]

I love when kids movies used to be like, you know what? Something completely out of pocket is gonna scare the shit out Large March.

[B]

That's what I meant. Large March. It's very beetle Juicy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I believe this was made by Tim Burton, so.

[B]

Oh, then, yeah, I mean, that looks

[C]

like a Tim Burton thing.

[B]

But

[A]

watch. Watch.

[B]

Scare your kids, Frankie.

[C]

Watch. Terrify your kids.

[B]

Terrify your kids, Frankie. I'm gonna.

[C]

They deserve it.

[A]

But like, it was bet. Like, like, are you afraid of the dark? Was good because it was kind of also scary.

[C]

Do we know that there's not scary stuff for that age range right now?

[A]

I mean, you have, like, sure there

[B]

is, but, you know, you're not getting anymore.

[A]

You have like five nights at Freddy's.

[B]

So I guess, you know, Monster House, you're not getting that stuff no more.

[C]

What's Monster House?

[A]

It's a movie from, like 2006. It was like an animated, like, scary movie for kids, but it was like. It also had some adult jokes in there.

[C]

2006, I think so I.

[B]

That might also been Tim Burton, Monster House.

[A]

I don't think that was Tim Burton.

[B]

Tim Burton.

[A]

Ask look up who directed Monster house right now, 2006. I'm on point.

[B]

He really is.

[C]

Is it Timmy B?

[B]

Steve Buscemi.

[A]

Oh, that just says that he's the voice actor. This is just for us, by the way.

[B]

It is just for us.

[A]

Gil Keenan.

[B]

Don't know. Yeah, don't know that.

[C]

Who's Gil Keenan?

[A]

Exactly. No offense, Gil.

[B]

Oh, he did Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire. Did he? Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And the. Oh, well, good. Cool. I mean, I wasn't a big fan of Frozen Empire. I thought it was aggressively. Okay.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Nnc. Yep.

[A]

Mitchell Musso from fucking Hannah Montana.

[C]

I've never seen an episode of Hannah Montana.

[A]

What? Swear to God.

[C]

I knew the songs. I remember Josh was, like, obsessed with the songs.

[B]

Oh, Josh just put on screen. Were you.

[C]

He was. Put the word.

[A]

Yes. He's, like, talking. Yes. I mean, Hannah Montana was a. It was. It came out when we were like 14 or 15, around that same time. But, like, yeah, it was fun. I watched it. I. I didn't dislike it.

[C]

I was into the Climb. Song was a banger. That was a banger.

[A]

I don't think that was from.

[B]

It's not.

[C]

No, it was. It was from something else.

[B]

It's just from her, I think.

[C]

Yeah, it's just from.

[B]

From her, like, Wrecking Balls. Not from Hannah Montana.

[A]

No, no, no, no. But wait, he might be. He might be right. The Climb might be from the Hannah Montana movie.

[C]

Possibly. I have no idea. But also, when I look at you, that song is crazy. That's from a different movie, but it's a great song.

[A]

She's not done a Super Bowl. I think she has the catalog to pull it off.

[B]

Oh, it is.

[A]

Look at that.

[B]

Hannah Montana movie.

[A]

Look at that. I'm such. I'm. I'm pretty impressed.

[C]

Where was I recently?

[A]

It's the clown.

[C]

Oh, I was at it. I was at, like, a early 2000s themed birthday party, and this was on the TV. The Hannah Montana movie.

[A]

Whose party was that and why the. Wasn't I there?

[C]

It was in Canada. It was one of Cole's friends.

[A]

That sounds like my party. Dude. That sounds like a sick party. I was on the tv.

[B]

I was invited. I just couldn't go.

[A]

We get to live out front.

[C]

What song is that?

[A]

The theme song from Hannah Montana.

[B]

This is Disney now.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're going to us up.

[C]

Disney might get creamputt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just saying, you get the best of both worlds. I knew that song did it take it slow then you rock out this show. It was the choreo. Also Emily Osment who is the sister of Haley Joel. There you go Billy Ray Silas break your heart. Yeah Cyrus I think but yeah Billy Ray Cyrus. Did I not say that?

[C]

Silas. Oh my bad. Neither here nor there. Well there you have it folks. That is our episode for today. Thank you so much for stopping by and hanging out with your boys. Frank. Where can they find you?

[A]

The Frank Alvar is all over patreon.com the Basement Yard santangatostudios.com for the new merch the Basement Yard.com for information on live shows and yep and prisco on

[C]

instagram and you guys go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show at the basement on a tick tock and instagram and go hit up Santa God studios for the merch and that is all. See you guys next time.