#567 - Making Out In Public

Summary

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The Basement Yard #567 – Making Out In Public

Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (with Ant Prisco)
Date: August 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Joe, Frank, and Ant tackle the highly debated topic of "making out in public," dissecting a recent viral video of a couple heavily making out in a New York City park. But, true to style, the conversation dives deep into everything from dog behavior (and dog pee etiquette) to bodily functions, societal norms, ancient history, sword preferences, and a passionate movie debate. Expect friendly arguments, wild tangents, and some classic Basement Yard absurdity, all delivered in their signature, no-holds-barred tone.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Dog Behavior, Dominance, and Pee Etiquette

• Frank wakes up tired and debates caffeine intake...only to get derailed by Joe's story of almost being peed on by a dog in his elevator.

  • [00:36]–[01:21]
  • "I obviously almost got pissed on this morning by an animal in my elevator, which is not where you're supposed to get pissed on by animals." – Joe

• Comedic banter about dog humping, dominance, and whether being humped by a dog is a compliment.

  • [02:24]–[06:29]
  • Frank theorizes: "If a dog starts to hump you, you kind of pumped no part of...Because they're doing it out of respect."
  • Joe and Ant push back, leading to Google searches on dog humping: "Excitement, rough play, or stress. It's not sexual tension." – Joe reading
  • Frank doubles down: "They know that dominating me puts them at a higher status and respect level." – Frank

• Pissable legs: the odd logic of receiving canine affection/humiliation

  • [07:30]–[08:44]
  • Frank: "If I. I think that the pissing is where it comes into, like, oh, I'm. Us have like really pissable legs."

• Canine pee rituals – "It's like their newspaper."

  • [09:45]–[10:25]
  • Joe reflects: "Apparently someone explained it once...dogs smelling pee is like their newspaper. It's like they get all their information from the pee."
  • Ant: "Charlie has to go to that piss. Be like, the Knicks won."
  • Frank: "It's like, wow, good for the stock market..."

• What if your dog pees on someone in an elevator? The etiquette role-play

  • [12:31]–[15:00]
  • Joe and Frank act it out, with Frank progressively demanding more (e.g., "can you spit on the piss on my shoe?").
  • Frank, joking: "These are from Anthropologie. They're for some reason, 400 bucks."
  • Joe: "I'm not really comfortable doing this. All right."

• Dog urine and lawns: why does pee kill grass?

  • [15:16]–[17:59]
  • Ant: "It causes chemical burns. Actually, it's highly concentrated in nitrogen and mineral salts. Just too much for the grass."
  • Frank proposes a business: "You could start a lawn care business where people send in their dog piss..."
  • Ant: "You still don't want your lawn to smell like dog piss."

• Switzerland starts fining people for not "cleaning up" dog pee

  • [18:19]–[23:39]
  • Joe: "I heard recently that, like, in Switzerland, they're, like, gonna start fining people because...if you don't pick up your dog's piss, which I don't even know how you go about doing that."
  • Frank: "If my dog pissed on a chain link fence and I got fined 120 bucks, I'm burning the city down."
  • Ant: "If you walk far enough, like people are just pissing on the street. We're expecting dogs to piss in..."

2. Human Bodily Functions & TMI Tangents

• Public urination – is there a double standard?

  • [23:31]–[26:52]
  • Joe: "Do you think that if we're okay with dog pee, we should be okay with people pee?"
  • Frank: "If I'm just like, drunk and having the time of my life and decide to do it, then I. I understand."

• Frank's emergency car-pee stories

  • [25:20]–[26:52]
  • Frank claims he pulls over; Joe and Ant, skeptical, joke about logistics and legality.

• Peeing the pants curse

  • [27:47]–[28:33]
  • Frank: "You're gonna piss your pants soon. I'm putting a curse on you."

• Why is it harder to pee your pants than (ahem) poop them?

  • [28:40]–[29:02]
  • Joe: "I feel like it's so much easier to crap your pants and pee your pants because my butt, I barely have control over."

• Salt intake, sunflower seeds, and Frank's 'pee placebo'

  • [29:17]–[30:41]
  • Ant corrects Frank's theory: "No, eating sodium does not stop the need from peeing. Actually, the kidney response...results in more urine production over time."
  • Joe: "You've successfully placeboed your body to do the reverse, which is impressive, honestly."

• Are humans just 'meat machines'?

  • [30:51]–[33:27]
  • The trio wax philosophical on the human body, mechanical metaphors, and "self-cleaning units":
    • Joe: "When I think about that, my heart is just beating. Like, it's just beating all the time."
    • Frank: "Vaginas. Self-cleaning."

3. Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Banter

• Ant's "touch" riddle game
  • [40:23]–[46:37]
  • The group struggles to discern the hidden pattern in Ant’s challenge ("apples touch, oranges do not..."), eventually deducing it's about words you say with your lips touching.

4. Making Out In Public: The Viral Incident & Debate

Main Themed Segment

• A Central (or Madison Square) Park couple is filmed making out intensely – is this normal, or crossing a line?

  • [46:57]–[50:59]
  • Joe: "Filming people making out, very weird."
  • Frank: "Thank God middle school Frankie, that there weren't these social media sites like this because I was, I was kissing in public."
  • General consensus: PDA is normal – to a point; full-intensity makeout, especially at strange locations (e.g. train, café, zoo), crosses a threshold.
  • Playful hypothetical: "Name the appropriate spots for making out" – nightclubs, OK; the zoo, Central Park under a bridge, etc.? More questionable or context-dependent.

• Consent, privacy, social norms

  • [53:01]–[56:01]
  • Frank: "If I was a bystander and I saw someone do that to another couple and they get into it, I'd go up to the person that was recording them, be like, you're fucking weird."
  • Joe: "I don't feel like I would. Like, I wouldn't see people making out and be like, those people are disgusting. I'd be like, I would never do that."

• When is PDA appropriate? Does age, alcohol, or location affect perception?

  • [51:07]–[56:01]
  • Frank: "I have no issue with PDA to a degree. Looking at the hand placement here. It's bananas."
  • Joe (on ‘makeout hand’): "That the dude's hand. Like, that's the most intense spot you can get besides, like, grabbing a boom or something."

• Final consensus:

  • Don't film strangers for clout.
  • Making out in public is more about context, intensity, and consideration for surroundings.
  • "A kiss is nice. A hand-behind-the-head makeout is a heavy move." – Joe

5. Lightning Round Topics, Offbeat Banter & Closers

• Musings on bread, cheese, and 'pumpernickel'

  • [62:19]–[63:57]
  • Joe: "Yo, bread's so good, dude. I love bread, dude."

• Did the Greeks invent anal sex? (And other ancient history)

  • [64:49]–[67:23]
  • Joe, half-joking: "Did Greeks invent anal?"
  • Ant reads: "No single culture or person invented that practice."
  • The group reflects on how "history" is written, and who claims credit for what.

• Calendar months and Julius Caesar trivia

  • [70:10]–[72:15]
  • Frank: "Julius Caesar was just like, give me two months... That's why July and August."

• Wikipedia speedrun challenge

  • [72:56]–[74:13]
  • They attempt (and fail) to jump from "Assassination of Julius Caesar" to "hot dogs" as few clicks as possible.

• Discussion: swords, pirates, and favorite weapons

  • [74:27]–[78:40]
  • Frank: "I'm not opposed to having a squid face if I'm a pirate."

• Classic movie catch-up and "dad movies"

  • [80:29]–[87:59]
  • The trio reviews which popular movies they've (shamefully) not seen, comparing "dad movies" they watched too young, and “must see” entries.
  • Joe hasn't seen Indiana Jones until now, leading to Frank's mock outrage.

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Notable Quotes

• [07:05] Joe: "You know what? You can have it. If you are getting humped by a dog and you're going, thanks, it's completely on..."
• [10:25] Frank: "It's like, wow, good for the stock market."
• [22:00] Joe (on Swiss fines for dog pee): "If my dog pissed on a chain link fence and I got fined 120 bucks, I'm burning the city down."
• [44:48] Joe: "Speaking of horny, did you guys see the video of two people getting caught making out super hard like Madison Square Park or something?"
• [52:34] Joe (on public makeouts): "For me personally...just making out, especially with the hand behind the head, is like...Once the hands get around the ear, just go."
• [55:07] Joe: "Really, that the dude's hand. Like, that's the most intense spot you can get besides, like, grabbing a boom or something."
• [85:26] Joe: "WALL-E's up here at 57...What a fucking great movie."
• [88:56] Joe: "We started with me, respectfully getting pissed on, and then now we're ending with movies. It's never ending."

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Segment Timestamps

• Dog pee, dominance, and elevator story: 00:36–12:00
• Dog humping, respect, and roleplay: 03:11–15:00
• Swiss fines for dog pee: 18:19–23:39
• Public urination and social standards: 23:31–26:52
• Makeout-in-public viral video intro: 46:57–50:59
• PDA debate & societal norms: 51:07–56:01
• Movie lightning round: 80:29–88:45

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Episode Conclusion

After laughing their way through public animal behavior, bodily control, hypotheticals on social etiquette, philosophical diversions about human anatomy, historical trivia, and ultimately, debating the appropriate contexts for making out in public, the crew wraps up with a chaotic but relatable look at pop culture blind spots and the movies they've missed. All the while, the tone remains light, irreverent, and conversational – a perfect encapsulation of why Basement Yard fans keep tuning in.

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Where to Find More

• Patreon: patreon.com/thebasementyard
• Merch & Shows: SantagatoStudios.com and thebasementyard.com/submit
• Follow: @TheBasementYard on TikTok & Instagram
• Hosts: @JoeSantagato, @TheFrankAlvarez, @AntPrisco

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Summary by: The Basement Yard AI Recapper
(For fans, by fans. Skip the ads, skip the chaos – but not the fun.)

Transcript

[Frank Alvarez]

Plan B is a backup birth control

[Joe Santagato]

option that's there for you when things

[Frank Alvarez]

don't go according to plan.

[Joe Santagato]

It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation.

[Frank Alvarez]

Plan B is available nationwide at all

[Joe Santagato]

major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash, no ID, prescription or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's freedom to be use as directed. Welcome back to the basement.

[Joe Santagato]

Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank. Hi.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm a little tired and I was thinking about if I should have some caffeine, but it's late in the day and I don't want to mess up my sleep.

[Joe Santagato]

It's four o'. Clock.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's before four, brother. If I have one of those, I'll be fucking doing backflips until.

[Joe Santagato]

Really? Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, he is like about to be 34, so.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Careful.

[Joe Santagato]

What time do you go to bed?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like 10:25, 10:15.

[Joe Santagato]

That's a normal time.

[Ant Prisco]

Really?

[Frank Alvarez]

You think I could do it?

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, it's too late now. You can't do it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not? Why not? I'll crack it open now and I'll see what happens.

[Ant Prisco]

No, you shouldn't shotgun it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Way to go.

[Joe Santagato]

Everything is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm obviously 34 and you're obviously 19. Right.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, and I obviously almost got pissed on this morning by an animal in my elevator, which is not where you're supposed to get pissed on by animals. Not that you're supposed to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hold on. Back up, back up, back up. First of all, why is it obvious that you almost got pissed on?

[Joe Santagato]

It's not obvious. I'm fitting it into the joke. I was fitting it into the conversation.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're just trying to fit in your pissing fetish.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, not that I have a fetish. I don't know where you got that, but I. I got into the elevator this morning with Charlie and there was another dog in there and the dog was like sniffing my legs while. Which is like typical because I have a dog. So dogs, when they see me, they sniff me pretty good.

[Frank Alvarez]

You have the legs of a like a pissable leg, which is kind of nice.

[Joe Santagato]

That's not what I'm saying.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, legs. They normally piss on trees and trees like, those are like, those are good looking trunks.

[Joe Santagato]

But dogs smell my legs. What I'm saying is dogs smell my legs because I have a dog and they're like, oh, there's a dog here, whatever. And then this dog, like, started turning. Cause once they start turning and giving you the butt, they either want you to scratch, or they're about to lift that thing and let it go.

[Frank Alvarez]

If it's a boy dog, girl dogs,

[Joe Santagato]

they get down right there.

[Frank Alvarez]

They get down. They get down and they. I don't know what.

[Joe Santagato]

Been around a dog that had a foot fetish once. Whose dog was that? And it would just sit on your foot and, like, rub its o.

[Frank Alvarez]

It would scoot your foot.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. And I. Whose dog was that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, this thing was fully using your foot to get off. Who was that?

[Joe Santagato]

You know, different dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Honestly, you're kind of like. I kind of vaguely remember what you're talking about too.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now that you're thinking about his dog.

[Joe Santagato]

That was, like, on my foot back in the day.

[Ant Prisco]

But anyway.

[Joe Santagato]

And then this dog went to go

[Frank Alvarez]

pee a little bit, and I had to move out of the way real

[Joe Santagato]

quick, and it peed in the elevator.

[Frank Alvarez]

Be honest about something really quick. If a dog starts to hump you, you kind of pumped no part of. Why would I just, like. Because they're doing it out of respect. Like, they're doing it as like, I'm trying to be more of a. Of a fucking male than you, more of a man than you are. So I'm gonna hump you and show you. But I'm think you're sitting there and you're just like, yo. Like, you think I'm that powerful that you want to hump me, Frank, I

[Joe Santagato]

don't think that's what's going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

What isn't it?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I don't think dogs are humping because of a respect thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's like a domination thing.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, exactly.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but they don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like, they feel so. Like, they feel like they can dominate.

[Joe Santagato]

They feel like they could have to

[Frank Alvarez]

dominate you because they have to. Because you're the powerful being. So, like, going on, I need to go and hump this thing.

[Joe Santagato]

But what happens when they hump female dogs?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a powerful power thing.

[Joe Santagato]

They're like, oh, I'm. I'm so intimidated by this woman that I have to have sex with her.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, they have to. Like, they have to overcome the circumstances, and, like, they have to show and assert their dominance. So if a male dog is asserting its dominance over you, you're like, that

[Joe Santagato]

means it thinks that, like, I can dominate you.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but then. Or it means that, like, I better get on top of this guy first. Not that any dogs are humping me like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, this is why. This is. I don't really follow the line of thinking.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm starting to be confused about what you think respect is.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, like, how do you show respect to people? You think that dogs. If a dog humped you, you take that as a compliment because you think this dog is thinking, oh, this guy's an alpha male. I better fuck him. Is that what your line of thinking is? Yeah, I'm more so thinking it was like, I can dominate, that I'm gonna dominate.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's just, like, I have to prove my worth here. So I need to. You know how they say, like to the world, you know how they say, like, you know. You know, when you go to prison, find the biggest, tallest guy and hit them first?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think do are doing that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's a thing in the animal kingdom that, like, they have to, like, if there is a rival male, they need to immediately assert their dominance.

[Joe Santagato]

Can you look that up? I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if that's true. Why do male dogs hump other male dogs?

[Ant Prisco]

But we know this isn't true. Oh, okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I mean, we don't know. Why are you saying that like it's common knowledge?

[Joe Santagato]

It's not my line of thinking. I don't know if it's true or not, but I assumed it wasn't. But I haven't read it in a book.

[Ant Prisco]

What answer are we looking for? Before I hit search, I guess we're

[Joe Santagato]

gonna find out what we see here. Excitement, rough play, or stress. It's not sexual tension.

[Ant Prisco]

It's not sexual. So can be stress or anxiety.

[Frank Alvarez]

Social status.

[Joe Santagato]

Dogs may mount another male to show power. So that's what I mean. They're dominating you to show you that they're the powerful one.

[Ant Prisco]

They're actually trying to disrespect you as well.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. They're like, you're not the powerful one. I'm the one. I'm gonna hump you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. But then I kick them off and I'm like, you're not humping me. Like, I. I am more powerful than you, dog.

[Joe Santagato]

Now you're in a fight with a dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not in a fight with a dog. I would never do that. The fact that they feel like the. But the point I'm making is, like, the fact that they feel like they have to try to dominate you. Shows like, yo, they. They know that dominating me puts them at a higher status and respect level.

[Ant Prisco]

It's a better point.

[Joe Santagato]

But I don't think that's what that means.

[Ant Prisco]

I also do not think that's what that.

[Joe Santagato]

I think it's like they want to be like, I'm. I'm the baddest one here. I'm going to hump everyone. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. And they're just like, oh, well, here's Joey. He's clearly the other alpha male. He'll let. Here, let me dominate, let me hump him. So everyone else goes, whoa, he fucking humped Joey, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think I know that Google just gave us an answer, but it's. Who knows what fucking Google is pulling from? They're idiots.

[Joe Santagato]

Probably all the information.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they're sometimes idiots, you know, and that was. I saw that was AI answer. So it's probably nonsense. So I think that's how that works.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, I think the point was you were looking like, oh, it's a sign of respect. I think that's the answer you were looking for.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think we all, you know, like, what movie was it where they're like, Kiss the Ring. Like, there's. There's like weird signs of respect. I wonder. There's like a sense of if a dog is trying to hump you, it's like it knows that you're the.

[Joe Santagato]

But don't you think, like in high school, right, like the bully bullies kids. Do you think that they're bullying the kids? That they're like, I'm bullying this kid because he's the other alpha male? Or they just bullying them because they know they can different.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now we're trying to equate human interaction with dog interaction.

[Joe Santagato]

We've been doing that the whole time.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that male human bullies are different from dog bullying. I think that dog bullying is more of an animalistic thing where there's different social structures and understandings with humans.

[Joe Santagato]

You know what? You can have it. I. If you are getting humped by a dog and you're going, thanks, it's completely on.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, like, getting humped by a

[Joe Santagato]

dog is a sign of respect. Honestly, where I thought you were going to go with that was like, you

[Frank Alvarez]

feel like, oh, they'd hump me. Flattered.

[Joe Santagato]

And you're like, oh, I must have, like, I mean, legs today.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're doing it. I mean, if I. I think that the pissing is where it comes into, like, oh, I'm. Us have like really pissable legs. I think, like, that's pretty cool because dogs love to piss every. All over everything.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, they like to piss on, like, fire hydrants I want legs like that.

[Ant Prisco]

I have. I have a genuine question. But because the dog tried to piss on your leg, does that mean that it was trying to, like, one up Charlie?

[Joe Santagato]

Technically, I think so.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, dogs are always doing that, bro. My dog, if, like, I have him off a leash and a dog pees, he'll walk over immediately, piss on the same spot. I'm like, yo, this is probably. This is, like, gang.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm, like, impressed by, like, how much pee. They can just pee on command. Like, I can't pee all the time.

[Joe Santagato]

My dog pees. The first time he pees is, like, done.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Santagato]

The second time is also, like, a normal pee for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is he hydrated? Is that work for dogs too? Or is it. He's always yellow. It's always yellow.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

And then sometimes he'll like, if the. You know, he's like, peeing a bunch, at a certain point, he just lifts his leg. Nothing happens. And I'm like, what are you getting out of?

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think that. I think all it takes is like a little. A little squirt to get the idea across.

[Joe Santagato]

But there's no squirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

I piss also stinks.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wonder what happens if you feed. Do me a favor. Go home. First of all, make sure this is safe. I'm sure it is. Feed asparagus to Charlie. Tell me what happens. Does his piss stink or do dogs not have that same thing?

[Joe Santagato]

Even if I did that, what do you get?

[Frank Alvarez]

I get nothing.

[Joe Santagato]

Because you know that it makes your piss stink.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

And you just want to know if dogs.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just wonder if it's a universal experience. If the consumption of asparagus is for

[Joe Santagato]

stinky piss, I'm unsure if they can asparagus.

[Frank Alvarez]

So did. Wait, so is this also confirming that Charlie is pissed on your leg?

[Joe Santagato]

Why would that confirm that?

[Frank Alvarez]

If this other dog was pissing on your leg, going to piss on your leg, then that means that he had to out piss Charlie. So has Charlie pissed?

[Joe Santagato]

No. I think that maybe he just smelled Charlie on me and it was kind of like, I'm gonna pee on this dog smell. I think that's why dogs pee on pee.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I think it's just like, they're gonna know that I was here. Like, they're gonna know that I was. That I walked by.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Apparently someone explained it once. I saw this, like, video, and they said that dogs smelling pee is like their newspaper. It's like they get all their information from the pee. So they're smelling pee and they're like, so I stopped dragging him away from smelling pee as much because sometimes it's like, all right, you're here all day.

[Frank Alvarez]

You let him experience, like, just like, yeah, he's getting his fix.

[Joe Santagato]

Sometimes he's. He's in the same puddle of piss for a while.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm like, okay, let's find out what sprinkles is up to today.

[Ant Prisco]

It's kind of funny to think that Charlie has to go to that piss. Be like, the Knicks won. You know, it's like.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like, wow, good for the stock market.

[Joe Santagato]

Took a dive today. But, yeah, basically, it's like that for them. But the dog almost tried to pee on me, and I was like, oh. And I moved out of the way because I have the reflexes of a cat.

[Frank Alvarez]

And did it piss in the elevator?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, really?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I mean, it, like, gave a little pee, and I was like, bro, what

[Frank Alvarez]

is, like, the proper. Like, let's say you're in an elevator. Let's say, like, you were the dog owner and Charlie pissed on someone else's legs.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, my gosh.

[Frank Alvarez]

What is like. Like, what do you. How do you extend an olive branch to them? Like, what do you do?

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I would ask. I'd be like, I'm so sorry. Like, how can I make this? Because what do you do? What am I gonna do? Like, how do I. I'm gonna, like, dab her jeans or something. You know what I mean? Like, what am I gonna do? I can't really. Like, my dog peed on you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Would you go as far as to be like, I'll replace your shoes or something like that?

[Joe Santagato]

If they. It would depend how upset they were getting, and then I would probably eventually get there, but I. My dog has peed on another dog before.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's just. That's. That's the. That's kind of par for the course of having a dog.

[Joe Santagato]

I imagine that's a wild thing to imagine, really, that your dog is out in the world just getting pissed on and that's normal.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I think that it's just kind of baked into, like, the risk of having a dog.

[Joe Santagato]

It getting peed on to some degree.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like you're gonna get pissed on or thrown up on.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you have a baby. So, like, it's just baked into, like, sometimes you're gonna get your dogs to get a little piss on it, like,

[Joe Santagato]

on its back and head, like, by another dog. Is that what you're saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I thought you were meaning, like, paws or Something like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Like peeing on its own paws?

[Frank Alvarez]

No, like another dog, like, coming by and pissing on, like, it's paw. Charlie's paw.

[Joe Santagato]

I would not say that's par for the course. That's never happened to my dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, why would you think that? I would. I would just make the assumption, but

[Joe Santagato]

there was that my dog lifted his leg and was peeing. Like, I think he was peeing, and a dog came over and was, like, sniffing and just got, you know, too crazy. And he hit the stream, and I felt bad, and that was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. She's like, it's okay. Like, immediately the woman was like, it's all right. Like, it was his fault.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's all right. It's par for the course. Would have a dog.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I don't know that she said that.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, let's do this. We haven't done it in a while. You be you.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You have Charlie. We're in an elevator. You and Charlie pisses on my. My leg.

[Joe Santagato]

Okay. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can you call action, please?

[Ant Prisco]

I can. Action.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's okay. It's not. It's.

[Ant Prisco]

It's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's fine. It's not a big deal.

[Joe Santagato]

I am so sorry, Charlie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. It's everywhere.

[Joe Santagato]

He literally has never done that before. I'm so sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

Stinks. You give him asparagus?

[Joe Santagato]

I did not give him. No, that's it. I'm sorry.

[Frank Alvarez]

It. These are new shoes.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, is there something I could do? Do you want me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do. I'm getting on my shoes. Do you have. Do you have a wipe on you or something that I could use?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't have a wipe.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like a wet wipe or.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't have a wet wipe. Can I get your information? I'll give a Venmo.

[Frank Alvarez]

Or do you. What. What floor are you going to?

[Joe Santagato]

I'm going outside to take my dog outside.

[Frank Alvarez]

What. What apartment is yours?

[Joe Santagato]

Why do you want to know that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Can I come by and you just wipe it off?

[Joe Santagato]

I could come to you. I'm not really comfortable with you with giving.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll just follow you.

[Joe Santagato]

Definitely not comfortable with that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I need. I need to. I need you to wipe this off.

[Joe Santagato]

Why don't we go down to the front and we'll ask the doorman for something.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good idea.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm happy to clean your shoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good idea. All right. Yes. Okay, let's go. Let's go right now. But in the meantime, can you, like, Just like, spit on it.

[Joe Santagato]

Spit on what? You want me to spit on your shoes?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like the piss?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. You want me to spit?

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like, if it smells too much like piss, it's too pissy. So, like, just spit on it just to make it smell like anything else.

[Joe Santagato]

To be clear, you want me to spit on your sneaker right now?

[Frank Alvarez]

Spit on. Spit on the piss on my shoe.

[Joe Santagato]

You want me to get on a knee.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can lift my leg up really high.

[Joe Santagato]

So you're gonna lift your leg up. I'm going to spit on your shoe. And that somehow is going to be. Yeah, I can spit right here. I can see how you can get it pretty high.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can you spit?

[Joe Santagato]

No. You're very.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just spit.

[Joe Santagato]

You want me to spit on the

[Frank Alvarez]

bottom of it right here?

[Joe Santagato]

I'm not really comfortable doing this. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

Can you just buy me new jeans?

[Joe Santagato]

What happened to the shoes?

[Frank Alvarez]

These are from Anthropologie. They're for some reason, 400 bucks.

[Joe Santagato]

The jeans?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yep.

[Joe Santagato]

I thought he got on your shoes. Why am I spitting on your shoe?

[Frank Alvarez]

They also got on my underwear. Can you replace these?

[Ant Prisco]

I'll probably call cut.

[Joe Santagato]

Probably call cut.

[Ant Prisco]

He was fumbling with that for a while.

[Joe Santagato]

Probably call cut.

[Frank Alvarez]

I imagine. Like, if. Seriously, though, like, if they were just like, they just ruined my brand new shoes, I would.

[Joe Santagato]

I would offer to, like, you know he peed on someone's shoes. Yeah, I know that. Dog pee, like, not.

[Frank Alvarez]

It destroys stuff.

[Joe Santagato]

Not good. It's like, radioactive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it?

[Joe Santagato]

He's peed on. We had a white rug. I guess that's my fault for being a dumbass, but why are you a

[Frank Alvarez]

dumbass here for having a white rug?

[Joe Santagato]

I have a dog. Shouldn't have a white rug if you have a dog.

[Ant Prisco]

Like, a yellow rug.

[Joe Santagato]

It was like, more of like a cream, but again, you can see the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Any of those, like, light, easily stainable. Colors are.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's just rough when you have a dog. But he peed on it. And, like, getting that out is like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I've seen. I remember, like, I've seen things that apparently it can, like, kill a lawn. Like if you see, like, a bare spot in a lawn.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

It, like, is from dog piss, apparently. Which I always thought it was just, like, waste. That was, like, good for the environment.

[Joe Santagato]

Piss? No. The ship.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not the pimps?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. What, like, ruined something with the grass?

[Frank Alvarez]

What is in piss that makes it not good for the earth?

[Joe Santagato]

The piss, the whole piss. But what, what, what element?

[Frank Alvarez]

I guess any of it.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know. And why would. Why would make this grow double time.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, exactly. Like, if aren't we consuming all of the nutrients?

[Joe Santagato]

That's a dichotomy right there. It's, it's. It's. It's. This will make you grow, and this will make you die, and we have to meet in the middle.

[Frank Alvarez]

Duality of man.

[Joe Santagato]

Exactly. The dichotomy of stuff.

[Ant Prisco]

It causes chemical burns. Actually, it's highly concentrated in nitrogen and mineral salts. Just too much for the grass.

[Frank Alvarez]

Nitrogen is good for grass, though.

[Ant Prisco]

It does say that. So it's.

[Joe Santagato]

So. It's so pissed.

[Ant Prisco]

It says while nitrogen is a key nutrient, dumping it in one spot causes chemical burns, draws out the moisture of the grass.

[Joe Santagato]

So we're burning this thing. We're burning the lawn with dog piss. Like a fight club scene.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, so hold on. So what if you just dump a cup of piss into water and then it dilutes it? So then now it's nutrient, more nutrient compatible with the grass. So you could start a lawn care business where people send in their dog piss and you mix it in with enough water and they send it back to you. You could spray your lawn. Beautiful lawn.

[Joe Santagato]

Gonna spray my lawn with dog piss. It's gonna smell like.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, it'll be so, like, dissipated and not as, you know.

[Ant Prisco]

You still don't want your lawn to smell like dog piss.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but it's not like if it

[Joe Santagato]

could just water it.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, or like chia seeds, whatever it is. Chia pets, Whatever. Huh? What's a chia pet thing?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's just water and chia seeds.

[Ant Prisco]

That's why I said chia seeds.

[Frank Alvarez]

So you want to mix urine and chia seeds?

[Ant Prisco]

No, no, we're getting rid of the urine, I think.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I think so as well.

[Ant Prisco]

You're in.

[Joe Santagato]

Just gonna water it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, my God. That. I know. If they ever make another Jackass movie, that's gonna be their morning. You chia seed pudding. It's just gonna be piss and chia seeds.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, come on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thick. You know what you guys should do?

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Ant Prisco]

Who?

[Frank Alvarez]

You should do thickening agent in urine and see what happens.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like, disgusting even think about it. Also, I heard recently that, like, in Switzerland, they're, like, gonna start fining people because it, like, if you don't pick up your dog's piss, which I don't even know how you go about doing that.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you pick? Wait, hold on.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I have to walk around.

[Frank Alvarez]

So wait, do. When you. When Charlie goes out to pee, he pees and then it's just. It's part of the ground.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I mean, it's. It's just for the earth. It's not for me.

[Frank Alvarez]

How would you clean up your dog's piss?

[Joe Santagato]

Unless I had a hose on me, I don't know how I would do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Lord knows you don't got a hose

[Joe Santagato]

on you or, like, a turkey baster and I suck it up. Did I ever tell you about the time that I. Someone yelled at me for that?

[Frank Alvarez]

For having a turkey baster?

[Joe Santagato]

No, for my dog pissing on the ground. And I. I was like. This is when I lived in a story in my last apartment. Are you crying?

[Frank Alvarez]

I started to gag for some reason when he said turkey baster.

[Joe Santagato]

But I. I was walking my dog in. In Astoria around, like, Astoria boulevard and, like, 30 Summer street and it was at night, it was, like, real dark, and Charlie's peeing on a tree, and this woman, like, appeared out of nowhere. And I swear to God, she looked like she was made out of brick. Like, she looked, like, really old and crackly and, like. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Or.

[Joe Santagato]

What's the shit outside of, like, Italian homes?

[Frank Alvarez]

What's that?

[Ant Prisco]

Stucco?

[Joe Santagato]

She looked like she was made of stucco. And she had a cigarette and just, like, lit up her face, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then she was like, you're gonna pick that up. And I was like, oh, she thinks it's poop. So I was like, oh, it's. He's just peeing. And she's like, I don't care what his name is. That's what she said to me. She said, I don't care what his name is.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I'm like. So she.

[Joe Santagato]

My dog passes you. I'm like. I'm like, he's peeing. First of all, I said, he's peeing. And she's like, I don't care what his name is. I don't know if she was with me, but I was like, pit. I'm like, he's. No, he's peeing. And she's like, you gotta pick that up. And I was like, get out of here.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait. I'm so confused by that. Like, is the expectation is. And I'm legitimately asking dog owners, is the expectation that your dog should. You should clean up your dog's piss with, like, what, a squirt bottle or something?

[Joe Santagato]

I think that if. If I was walking by someone's house and he, like, pissed onto their, like, gate or something and it. I don't know, then maybe and if I had water on me, then maybe I would, like, dilute a little bit. But what do you want me to do?

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I guess I don't understand. Like, I think that's a part of, like, being a part of a society. If you're gonna allow dogs. Yeah, if you're gonna allow dogs, you need piss. It's the circle of life.

[Ant Prisco]

I think old crackly Stucco woman probably just thought he was taking a flump.

[Joe Santagato]

It's possible.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I was trying to be very clear.

[Frank Alvarez]

She went home and she was just like, this fucking young kid named his dog Peeing.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And be like, pee. No, don't worry, ma', am, his name is Peeing. Yeah, like, as if the name was gonna make any of it better.

[Joe Santagato]

Right? I don't care. His name is. I'm like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, no, this is Balto. Like, unless it was a famous dog of some sort.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, oh, well, it's Balta or Clifford.

[Joe Santagato]

So what does it say the town is. They're going to.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, this. They. They adopted it in June 2026. So it was recent.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

And I don't know their currency, but a hundred of it would be the fine for repeat offend.

[Frank Alvarez]

Frank.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Those are Swiss francs.

[Ant Prisco]

Swiss francs.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, 100 Swiss Swiss francs is a lot of money.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it?

[Joe Santagato]

Yes.

[Frank Alvarez]

How much is it?

[Joe Santagato]

It's. It's better than the dollar.

[Frank Alvarez]

If I'm like 200 bucks.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know if it's that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, if my dog pissed on 120 bucks, 122, it's still a lot of money.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

So if my dog pissed on a chain link fence and I got fined

[Joe Santagato]

120 bucks, I'm burning the city down.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm letting you know. You might as well find me for whatever it costs to rip up the fucking lawn, because that's what I'm doing.

[Joe Santagato]

I may kidnap a congressman joker style if I'm getting this ticket for dog pee.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just have them, like, read a message. Like, you know, like they've been fucking abducted, taped up, and like you're forcing them to read something.

[Ant Prisco]

So high temperatures.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know where I got that. I'm sorry. I'm tired.

[Ant Prisco]

So high temperatures and drought made the urine smell much worse in public areas, so they decided to take it down.

[Joe Santagato]

I will say that's tough because the building that I live in, like, there's a lot of dog owners. And sometimes you get outside and you're like, oh, my God, it's on me. Because it's like stinky. But the, the building, like does a good job of like, they just like spray the front of the building.

[Frank Alvarez]

So then why don't they? It's Switzerland. They seem to have a good sense of what they're doing over there. What they could do is take all the money that they get from this and make like on each corner like a piss station.

[Joe Santagato]

What is that? What would that mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

It would be like a little piss station and then there's like a little like, you know, a little like spout that like they piss there and then you open the spout and it washes it away or something.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, I mean, you're at the mercy of a dog.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, I mean. Yeah, that's the thing is like, I also don't, I just don't get, I'm telling you right now, if I ever were to get fined for something like that, it's gonna be a big old fat all problem.

[Joe Santagato]

I'd be really pissed.

[Ant Prisco]

Also, if you walk far, if you walk far enough, like people are just pissing on the street. We're expecting dogs to piss him.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, I can't tell you how many times I've like gotten home from a night out. And then I'll take my dog out and he's peeing and I'm like, there's no one around. I would just love to rip a piss outside right now.

[Ant Prisco]

It's like, that looks so good.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never done it, but I am so tempted.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I mean, 2014, Frank has pissed probably. There was probably a good summer where I pissed more outside than I did inside.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, hey, later than 2014, you said you used to rip pisses in your own backyard.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, not like that. There was like three or four or five. Five times.

[Joe Santagato]

Thousand times. Yeah. No, yeah, no, I mean, I do get it. Like when it's hot, like a hot smelling piss.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. Not great. I, I, I agree. But also, like, they're dogs. They're not doing it to like the authority, you know, like, they're not doing it like middle finger to society.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

They're doing it because they physically can't go anywhere.

[Joe Santagato]

Do you think that if we're okay with dog pee, we should be okay with people pee?

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, I think there's more people. So just because of the just sheer amount of numbers. No.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Ant Prisco]

But like, are they peeing on all fours as well?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think there needs to be context if I am going to the bathroom in public. You need to like talk to me about why if I'm having, like, if I'm going to the bathroom in public, it's out of an emergency situation. Like, don't slap me with a fine to make it 10 times worse. But, like, if I'm just like, drunk and having the time of my life and decide to do it, then I. I understand.

[Joe Santagato]

When's the last time you peed outside? And it was like, yo, this is illegal, but I'm peeing.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that's a great question.

[Joe Santagato]

I can't even remember.

[Frank Alvarez]

I can't either, honestly.

[Joe Santagato]

Actually, I think I do remember. And it was years ago.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think. I mean, do we count my car as outside?

[Joe Santagato]

It's a completely different category that I think you're in by yourself.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't think you're allowed to have it out in the car. So, yeah, I would say yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. That is illegal. You can't have your wiener out.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm not like, hey, guys, take a look.

[Joe Santagato]

It doesn't. That's not the point. How would you even be? It's below the surface of the. Like, you're. You're dick is out in your car. Yeah, but you know, you don't do that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, I do.

[Joe Santagato]

So you pee inside of your shirt.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like, cover everything with my shirt.

[Ant Prisco]

Get the Yo.

[Joe Santagato]

No one believes us.

[Frank Alvarez]

You and who's driving? How many arms you got? First of all, Mr. Octopus, first of all, I haven't done it in my current car.

[Joe Santagato]

He. Frank.

[Frank Alvarez]

Outside of once you're going like this.

[Joe Santagato]

With one hand holding the bottle with the other. And then what?

[Frank Alvarez]

Driving with your forehead. Like, how is this car moving? I pull over. No, you don't. No. Yes, I do. I. I really, really do. I. I'm serious. I have not pissed in. I could tell you the one time I have pissed in my current car.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm. You just said you never did.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, I said outside of one time. And it was like an intense emergency.

[Joe Santagato]

The story is changing like a mood ring.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's absolutely not changing. Like I told you from the New Haven show was the one time I had to piss in the car.

[Ant Prisco]

You pulled over.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're thinking, yes, yes, I did. Yes, I did.

[Joe Santagato]

Why are you thinking? Because the times you weren't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because I. I'm trying to remember. Because I had 103 fever and was then spent the next four days in the hospital.

[Joe Santagato]

But the why you think is because there were these times where, I mean, you definitely piss while continue to drive.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let's check the statute of limitation on that, and then I can tell you what no, it's a joke.

[Ant Prisco]

You did it in Minecraft. But continue the.

[Frank Alvarez]

In Minecraft.

[Joe Santagato]

In Minecraft is a Lyme criminal, and you are a flasher. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's way worse.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no.

[Ant Prisco]

Way worse.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, no, no. That's. Do that.

[Ant Prisco]

That's way worse.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's way worse.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

No contributing to this. My dad steals one line. Christ, you better get to these ads, because we need a way out of this. I am not a flasher. Cut that the fuck out.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, that's not that bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it is.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, you're not actually one. That's why. Allegedly.

[Frank Alvarez]

No,

[Joe Santagato]

Don't do that in my.

[Frank Alvarez]

All you guys. How about that?

[Joe Santagato]

All of us?

[Frank Alvarez]

How about both of you? You.

[Joe Santagato]

Why?

[Frank Alvarez]

I. You're gonna piss your pants soon. I'm putting a curse on you.

[Joe Santagato]

You gotta hex me.

[Ant Prisco]

You gotta do that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Do I have to do that?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I pee my pants. That's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, like, recently, like.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I would do it soon.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're gonna piss your pants.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, shitty. Got it.

[Joe Santagato]

What Soon?

[Frank Alvarez]

Within the next calendar year.

[Joe Santagato]

365 days. I'm gonna let her rip. Piss what? Piss.

[Ant Prisco]

Rip. All right.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not the biggest problem, brother. It would not be sick. I piss a lot. I'm not like. It wouldn't be like a cute little. Like a little tinkle if I'm. If I'm pissing in my pants. The day is done. I need to change.

[Joe Santagato]

Are you, like, cursing while it's happening?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no, it's like one of those.

[Ant Prisco]

Just like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh,

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know that I can piss your pants. Like, you know, like, I could definitely.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think you could, but you'd have to actively do it. That's the thing is we've tricked our brain into not peeing on command. Like, to. Into peeing on command.

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like it's so much easier to crap your pants and pee your pants because my butt, I barely have control over. Like, in a moment of crisis, my butt is like, you're on your own. Like, he doesn't listen.

[Frank Alvarez]

It leaves you out to dry.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, like, my butt does not listen to me. When he. When he really has to go. He's like, I'm not even. I'm not even gonna. Don't even talk to me.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, don't get him even. Don't. Don't get me started on stomach stuff. We're talking strictly pissness here.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, that's what I'm saying. But, like, my wiener is, like, always in tune where he listens he's like, you know, whatever. And even I put him through hell sometimes because I'm on like I can't get to a bathroom and he'll hold on. Then like my, my up my like bottom of my stomach starts to get it like hard.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I do? It does. Yo. I swear to God, same thing. But you know what I do? Sometimes I'll leave here and have to pee. I'll be like early into the drive and have to pee and then I'll just eat sunflower seeds and I'll just not have to pee. I think like the sodium will like reabsorb the piss into my body.

[Joe Santagato]

Jamie, would you go look that up?

[Ant Prisco]

He, he. I must have a harder job.

[Joe Santagato]

Works it. There's. There's something going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Whether it be. I think like if, like if you have to look up, if you have to pee and you introduce sodium into your body, does that make you not have to pee anymore?

[Joe Santagato]

I feel like no.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean that would make sense though, right? Because your body retains. As you have salt, your body retains more fluids.

[Joe Santagato]

But urine a waste. If waste was sucked up into your body, I mean that would be like separate.

[Frank Alvarez]

But urine is mostly water, so maybe it just like takes the water parts out of it and then there's just more concentrated urine.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think you can sunflower your seed out of pissing.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know. What does it say?

[Ant Prisco]

So off the rip. No, eating sodium does not stop the knee from peeing. Actually, the kidney response to more sodium actually results into more urine production over time.

[Joe Santagato]

You've successfully placeboed your body to do the reverse, which is impressive, honestly. It's the power of thought and of manifestation.

[Frank Alvarez]

And we have manifested being able to piss less when having more salt.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I'm eating something salty. It's sucking up all the piss and so I don't have to piss anymore. Hey man, whatever works.

[Frank Alvarez]

What are we if not walking science experiments.

[Ant Prisco]

That's fair.

[Joe Santagato]

That is true. I suppose. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

If you think about it, you're just a meat suit walking around. Isn't that weird?

[Frank Alvarez]

Not even your meat straw. Remember Dr. Mike told us we're kind

[Ant Prisco]

of like, nevermind, like it's a machine, but it's flesh. Weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

I like that.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know that it's a machine. A machine, I mean, is metal.

[Ant Prisco]

I mean a machine of flesh.

[Frank Alvarez]

There is a. There is a mechanical component.

[Joe Santagato]

Huh? There's a mechanical component. You said like a baby.

[Frank Alvarez]

There is. There is like mechanical like parts to us, right?

[Ant Prisco]

We have joints. We have.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, we have electricity joints. We have a. We have a literal battery. Yeah, two. I guess it's called the ticker. It is called the ticker, right?

[Ant Prisco]

That's all I got.

[Joe Santagato]

When I think about that, my heart is just beating. Yeah. Like, it's just beating all the time.

[Frank Alvarez]

It freaks me out when I think about breathing, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Me, I'm like, it don't get tired.

[Frank Alvarez]

Just like. And it's just going all the time.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Like, it's just always beating. And like, at no point, the heart's just like, nah, we'll go, dude.

[Ant Prisco]

You know, that's the thing.

[Frank Alvarez]

When I'm with. When I'm hanging out with the kids, like, we'll be like laying in bed watching something. I'll listen to their heartbeat and I'm just like, this is crazy, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo. It's a beating heart.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a beating heart and it don't stop ever. It's just always. What is that?

[Joe Santagato]

And we're just like, trusting that it's gonna keep going to work.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know it's scary, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

And then when we get tired, it actually works more.

[Frank Alvarez]

It actually, I think not more, but more efficiently because we have a slower heart rate, faster. Oh, but you mean tired like.

[Joe Santagato]

Like when you're exasperated. Yeah, when your body's tired.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I thought you meant like sleeping.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, no, sleeping. It comes down sleeping.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what I'm saying. But it's apparent efficient. Like, that's when your body heals the most. When you're sleeping.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, something like your brain literally cleans itself too, bro.

[Joe Santagato]

My heart.

[Frank Alvarez]

So your eyes. Your eyes heal themselves.

[Joe Santagato]

Body's nuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

Vaginas.

[Joe Santagato]

Vaginas.

[Frank Alvarez]

Self cleaning.

[Joe Santagato]

Self cleaning.

[Ant Prisco]

Sometimes. Sometimes.

[Frank Alvarez]

What do you mean sometimes?

[Ant Prisco]

Like, sometimes it gets out of whack. It happens.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the are you talking about?

[Ant Prisco]

I'm saying sometimes they know, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's something wrong.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah, but no, no, I get that. I generally though they're known as self cleaning body parts.

[Joe Santagato]

There's a joke in there about gender roles and cleaning and vaginas and women.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, we're not. We're not. We don't. We're not those guys.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't quite know what it is.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're not those. We're not those comedians to try to find.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, women are always cleaning.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? Work that out for the shows and see how that goes.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm sure it'll go stupendously.

[Ant Prisco]

Speaking of the shows.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's right. We got some submission stuff that we should. Why don't you do the ads first and then I'll talk about them.

[Joe Santagato]

We have some ads here. The first one being this lovely box of Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon, if you guys don't know. It's a high protein, zero sugar cereal and it's amazing. Okay. This one is their fruity flavor. It is awesome. I love it. But not only does it taste good, but each serving packs 12 to 14 grams of protein. So that's high protein, 0 to 2 grams of sugar, and it tastes really good even though it's only 0 to 2 grams of sugar. 4 to 5 net carbs certified gluten free. So it actually keeps you fueled for the day. So this is a great substitute or honestly just a great meal to have in the morning. And it's great. It's keto friendly, gluten free, grain free, soy free, wheat free, naturally flavored. It's delicious. And it's, you know, it's, it's amazing. So go try it out. They also have these treats, which I always keep my house, and they're amazing as well. But they're crispy, airy, protein packed snack bars. 12 grams of protein, 7 grams of fiber, and 0 grams of added sugar. Okay. And they're great. It's like a little bar like this. Bang, bang, boom. I've had all of the flavors, all of them are good and they're great. And with these, there's a bunch of different ones too. There's like frosted, there's cocoa, there's Cinnamon crunch. That's my favorite. But yeah, they have that as well. But they have a bunch of stuff at Magic Spoon. It's kind of all centered around being high protein, low sugar. And yeah, it's great. So go check it out. You can look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or at your grocery store, the grocery store nearest to you. And you can get $5 off your next order at magazpoon.com basement. Okay, so go to magicspoon.com basement to grab yourself a box of this or some of the, the, the treats. And yeah, that is magicspoon.com basement. Go get that and get $5 off your next order. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so in just under 48 hours with better help. They are going to help you pair. They're going to help you get paired with a therapist and help you out. And I've been in therapy for years. Now I think that everyone should be in it. I think it's very important and it's great to, to have like a non biased person in your life that you can talk to and get advice from or they can help you work through some of your own issues or, or whatever. Even nothing traumatic, just, just anything. And I think that it's helpful for everyone. So I would definitely recommend it. And yeah, you can definitely go check them out. BetterHelp visit betterhelp.com basemyard that is betterhelp.com basementyard okay, more than 6 million people have used BetterHelp globally. So definitely go check it out. Betterhelp.com basement yard and while you're sitting

[Frank Alvarez]

there and you're perusing the Internet, why don't I give you a couple extra places that you can go and check out. The first of which being Patreon. Patreon.com the Basementyard is the super subscription service we use here to give you guys more of us and a little bit of us a little bit extra a little early. You know, it's a lot of fun. You guys have been so incredibly supportive and wildly just making our dreams come True over here. Over 51. Close to 52. Over 52, 000 of you guys are supporting us over on Patreon and we want to thank you guys and try to entice the people that haven't come on over a little come on over, come hang out and have a little fun with us. Check out those tiers. That first tier, you get these episodes one whole week in advance. And then that second tier, well, guess what? You got exclusive episodes.

[Joe Santagato]

What the.

[Frank Alvarez]

Every single Friday. So you could start your week with an episode, a new episode of the Basement Yard and end your week with a new episode of the Basement Yard. And then you got the, the Santa Gatta Studios in the middle there. There's so much, there's so much going on here and we want you to be a part of it. So go check it [e-mail] the basement yard thank you so much. And, and guess what? If you join, by the way, you get everything. If you're brand new, you get everything that had come before. So you have hours and hours and hours of episodes on there for you to peruse and take a gander under the skirt. So go check it out. Patreon.com TheBasement Yard and then we got a new store. SantagadoStudios.com you're going to see some new merch options up there. They're Fun. They're a lot of fun. You're definitely going to go on and check it out and see what we got there. We had the studios FC jerseys that you guys seem to really like and there's new stuff being made all the time. So go to SantagottoStudios.com and take a little look over there because there might be something over there that you like. And you know what? I got one more for you. Thebasementyard.com what are you gonna find there? That's a great question there, Jack. You're gonna find information on our live shows because we're going back on the road and doing more live shows. We are very excited. We have been figuring out exactly what run a show is gonna look like and we want it to be interactive because you guys have been so supportive and it's been so fun getting to talk and interact with you guys during these shows. So we're doing it again. So during those first two rounds of shows we did those cards where people submit cards and we're like, oh my God, what are. These are crazy stories. And we talk about them sometimes to the person and what have you. Or sometimes they're endearing. Now this time you're doing something similar. You're going to the basementyard.com submit and you're submitting an out of context photo from your camera roll. It could be anything that you want it to be. It be could. It could be funny, it could be silly, it could be endearing, it could be crazy, it could be kooky, it could be who knows what. But you are going to go, you're going to tell us which show that you're attending. You're going to upload a photo. I'm sorry I sneezed. And then you're going to tell us the story behind that photo. So you can include your name if you want, but it's a lot of fun and we're excited to have that to be a part of the show. So go check it out. Thebasementyard.com Submit we're excited to get back on the road. We're excited for everything and we hope you're excited too. I apologize for sneezing, guys. I do. I couldn't help it. Do you stop sneezes? I know people do like the whole like pineapple thing which I've tried but like, can you stop your own sneezes?

[Joe Santagato]

I think if I try to, if I swallow a lot, like, and I try to like, like if I feel like a sneeze coming on I just swallow a lot, but I don't think anything helps.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mr. Swallows a lot. Get him chat. I did what aunt does.

[Ant Prisco]

He chatted you.

[Frank Alvarez]

I did what aunt does.

[Ant Prisco]

Hit you with a chat.

[Frank Alvarez]

I hit you with a chat. I did what he did.

[Joe Santagato]

That was homophobic.

[Frank Alvarez]

Was it?

[Ant Prisco]

I don't know. I missed it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, no. I apologize. That was not my intent.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, now you did it.

[Ant Prisco]

Mangoes.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

You hit him with a chat. I could hit you guys with a

[Frank Alvarez]

riddle if you want me. God damn it.

[Ant Prisco]

I got one. Me.

[Frank Alvarez]

Let me drink my water before I start.

[Joe Santagato]

It's just like a Johnny whoop thing, sort of.

[Ant Prisco]

It's a verbal one. So you're just gonna tell me what can touch and what cannot touch. Simple as that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tips.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. Right. So I'm gonna go. Apples touch. Lemons touch. Oranges do not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not cool with oranges.

[Ant Prisco]

So you need to tell me one more time. Apples touch. Lemons touch. Oranges do not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not one bit.

[Ant Prisco]

So you need to give me things that you can put in a category of touches and cannot touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

So apples touch. And lemons definitely touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Lemons definitely touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Apples always touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Apples always touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Lemons always touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Lemons always touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oranges never fucking touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Never touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Grapes touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Grapes do touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Blueberries don't touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Blueberries do touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

They do.

[Joe Santagato]

Xbox controllers touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Xbox controllers do touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Got nothing. I have no idea why they do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Friends touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Friends do touch. I believe, for another example. So like here, tables touch. Chairs do not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

They don't.

[Ant Prisco]

Don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Tables touch. Ladders, Chairs.

[Joe Santagato]

Wait.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay. Ladders, do those touch those?

[Joe Santagato]

Do touch those.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think that. No, I don't think those do not letters touch. Because I thought it was a syllables

[Joe Santagato]

thing, like ladders, tables. Is it because chairs. Chairs don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Apples, apple, two. Lemon, two. What was the other four ranges? That's three. So maybe to be clear, an orange

[Ant Prisco]

also does not touch orange.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's two. Oh, damn. Because that's too like apple and lemon.

[Joe Santagato]

What the hell?

[Ant Prisco]

Plants touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they do.

[Ant Prisco]

Trees do not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now I'm getting angry. God damn it. Is it like the generality of it, like the category touches, but the actuality, like this specific thing. So, like, it'll be touch. It'll be like trees, planes touch. But a 747 Dreamliner doesn't touch.

[Ant Prisco]

A dreamliner does touch a dreamliner. Planes touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Do bats touch?

[Ant Prisco]

Bats touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

What the fuck?

[Joe Santagato]

What about an ass?

[Ant Prisco]

Ass does not touch. Balls touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yo, I'm an idiot.

[Ant Prisco]

I wonder if anyone at home has it yet.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, wait.

[Frank Alvarez]

Apples touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Apples touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Why are you saying it?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. You're saying it like, why?

[Joe Santagato]

I thought it was a silver.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is why he's doing apple.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, like, apples touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, all right, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Feet touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Feet touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Feet.

[Ant Prisco]

I believe feet do touch feet. Cars do not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, they don't. Cocks touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Cocks do not touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Fuck. God damn it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Now I just look like an idiot for saying cocks.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. Yeah. Bikes touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Bikes.

[Joe Santagato]

God damn it. Bears touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Bears touch. Coyotes do not touch coyotes.

[Frank Alvarez]

A reclining chair does not touch.

[Ant Prisco]

A reclining chair does not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got it.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't think he has it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't have it one bit. Do you think it's, like, something to do with the. Like, it's got to be the spelling or the letters and the words or something like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Always is.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay, what about this? America does touch, right? Australia does not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

That doesn't help at all.

[Ant Prisco]

I promise. It does help. Promises touch. Secrets don't touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

You're just saying words like. You're just saying words like, we're gonna fucking get it.

[Ant Prisco]

Joe's trying really hard.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm like, right there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Promises.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, they do.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I got it.

[Ant Prisco]

Do you?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I do.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't think he does.

[Joe Santagato]

I haven't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hands touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Hands.

[Joe Santagato]

No, do.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, maybe it does have it. Do not touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, no, but. I know it.

[Ant Prisco]

But thumbs.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I know.

[Frank Alvarez]

See, this is where. This is how these.

[Ant Prisco]

This is my favorite part, when Joe does.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is your favorite part where I'm angry because you guys have ganged up on me.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, it's like, you have to think very, like, abstract about. Like, obviously it has nothing to do with the words. Well, I mean, like, the definitions of the words.

[Ant Prisco]

Got it.

[Joe Santagato]

You know what I mean? Like, it's never that. No, see, that.

[Frank Alvarez]

That. That's literal.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, it's about the words, but it's not about the definition of the words. That's not helpful.

[Ant Prisco]

Like, hats don't touch. Caps.

[Frank Alvarez]

So.

[Joe Santagato]

So the reason why I was paying attention, because he was. He was saying it weird, right? One of the word.

[Ant Prisco]

What were you saying? Like, apples or something?

[Joe Santagato]

He was going, apples, Right. Yeah. When he was doing that, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, like, paying attention to that. Like, why would he enunciate apples, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Is it like something that, like, it starts with a vowel? No, because lemons.

[Joe Santagato]

No, no.

[Frank Alvarez]

Lemons Touch.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. App.

[Frank Alvarez]

Apples.

[Joe Santagato]

Lemons.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I got it. I got it.

[Ant Prisco]

I got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right.

[Joe Santagato]

Hit the word.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got it. Coke doesn't touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Coke doesn't touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

Pepsi touches.

[Ant Prisco]

Yes, but Pepsi touches.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's so, so, so. Cat doesn't touch.

[Ant Prisco]

Does not touch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Puppy touches. Yeah. The touching is the lip.

[Joe Santagato]

The lips. The lips.

[Frank Alvarez]

I got it.

[Ant Prisco]

There we go. Not bad. Not a bad one.

[Joe Santagato]

That wasn't.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was. That sucked all the way. I fucking hate those.

[Ant Prisco]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I hate those things because I know part of what makes me hate them is I am. I know that you sit there like, I know and they don't.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, that's exactly part of that. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you sit there like you're a horny little bastard. Like, you're just like, I have it.

[Joe Santagato]

Horny. Oh, okay.

[Ant Prisco]

I feel like that went.

[Joe Santagato]

Speaking of horny, did you guys see the video of two people getting caught making out super hard? Like Madison Square park or something?

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it was Central Park.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't know if I could play a video. No, I'm not. I didn't say I was gonna.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm just saying. Okay, that is the photo. And like, I will say this. They're going for it. They're going for it.

[Ant Prisco]

It looks like it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, it's like he's like, hunched. He's like leaning.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, we are.

[Joe Santagato]

We are like minutes away from a full blown.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really, like, just go and just fully.

[Joe Santagato]

I'll tell you this. I. I don't know if there's been a time in my life where I've had a back of the head makeout that hasn't resulted in full on coitus and. Yeah, in. Full on.

[Frank Alvarez]

In fumpting.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Insertion of the things in the back.

[Frank Alvarez]

The back.

[Ant Prisco]

Good for you.

[Joe Santagato]

The bag.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you heard back, brother.

[Joe Santagato]

The bag.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

When I'm like, in the back and I'm like, we're learning things about Joey today. Okay. No, no, no.

[Joe Santagato]

In the bag.

[Frank Alvarez]

The bag.

[Joe Santagato]

Not saying the bag is any helpful.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

You know what I mean? But, yeah, I mean, I will say this. Filming people making out, very weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just, I don't.

[Joe Santagato]

Making out in public, though. That's weird too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, I, I. Because, because the Internet was kind of like divided where people were saying, like, they're weird, they should stop making out in public. And then someone's saying like, also, why are you recording them doing this and also pulling up? I'll tell you this. Thank God middle school Frankie, that there weren't these social media sites like this because I was, I was kissing in public.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, you know What?

[Frank Alvarez]

You were gonna say I was kissing in public.

[Joe Santagato]

Were you? You were a makeout, like, on the train in front of people?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Really? Yeah, I was never like that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

[Joe Santagato]

You, like, you were making out with girls on the train?

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not saying it was like. Like. I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but it happened.

[Joe Santagato]

I would. I would, like, make out with my middle school girlfriends in the hallway. But.

[Frank Alvarez]

But how is that better than. Yeah, hold on, Joey. How is that better than a park bench?

[Joe Santagato]

No, no, I'm in the hot, like, between class. Like, not between. Not.

[Ant Prisco]

Not.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, when everyone's in the hallway, Like.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, while classes is in session with less people in the hallway beforehand.

[Joe Santagato]

And I'd be like, just like, wait, like, five minutes and then maybe in the stair.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think that's more of a stairwell thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, okay. Hallway is different from Stairway.

[Joe Santagato]

Not in the hallway where everyone's there.

[Frank Alvarez]

Hallway is like, they look out the window and they're just like. There's Joey and No, you know, no Dominicana princess.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

So middle school hallway and bus.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, like, park. You know, I'm not sitting there. Like, it was like we were just. For the whole time.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I would make out in a park, but it would be at

[Ant Prisco]

night in an alley or something.

[Joe Santagato]

For sure. Alleyways.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes.

[Ant Prisco]

Alleyways was big. I remember that.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, Alleyways is a big one.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I. I see both arguments here where people are just like, hey, if you're going this intense, pull it back a little. I think that's crazy, the intensity of the kiss. Because people kiss in public. I kiss in public. I have no issue with pda to a degree. Looking at the hand placement here.

[Joe Santagato]

It's bananas.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is. This is getting close.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know how I feel about people, like, making out. That feels very intimate.

[Frank Alvarez]

But also, like, as a society that we have been like, I'm just gonna open my phone and record and walk up to these people.

[Joe Santagato]

That's crazy.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's bananas.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, allow me to help you off of that high horse that you've been riding.

[Joe Santagato]

I think that if you're gonna be making out, you either have to be in, like, a dark bar slash cocktail lounge or, like, a club. But if you're just, like, making out,

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna name some places at, like,

[Joe Santagato]

a rush, like a. Like a cafe. I'd be like, this is nuts.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm gonna name some places. You give Me, your thumbs up, thumbs down on if make out is appropriate.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Okay. Let's start here. Nightclub, of course.

[Joe Santagato]

What else are we there for?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great point. I mean, to dance.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Enjoy yourself.

[Joe Santagato]

Not at. Not at 21.

[Frank Alvarez]

The zoo.

[Joe Santagato]

Making out at the zoo is nuts.

[Ant Prisco]

What animal are we by?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a great. See, this is why. That is a great question. Flamingos.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay. It's a little better. How kind of a pretty bird.

[Joe Santagato]

What's the line of thinking pretty bird?

[Frank Alvarez]

Gorillas.

[Joe Santagato]

But you're still in public around a place where children frequent and you're making out.

[Frank Alvarez]

I would do it if it were around the gorillas because I'd be like, I'm gonna show them, like, what making out is.

[Ant Prisco]

You want to show animals a lot.

[Joe Santagato]

Just show them what's going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

What, Central Park?

[Joe Santagato]

No, I personally would not under a

[Frank Alvarez]

bridge in Central Park.

[Joe Santagato]

I'll get engaged there.

[Ant Prisco]

Which arguably, even more intimate. No, you're right. I don't know. That just came out. Well, not.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mr. Things are about to happen in the back.

[Ant Prisco]

That's true.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's the bag.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I don't know for me personally, like, and maybe. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and people feel differently, but like, just making out, especially with the hand behind the head, is like, once.

[Frank Alvarez]

Once the hands get around the ear, just go. I mean, not always as easy for people there. I mean, I. They appear to be at the beginning, middle, or end of a workday.

[Ant Prisco]

Clearly something went like. I don't know the situation between these two, but clearly something went well because they're in suits, like, work, like they're doing something. Something went well.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, aren't they lawyers?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, I think they're lawyers. I don't know the situation of, like, if this is like a not good thing, but.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, you think it's like a Coldplay concert where they're like, they got caught in the act.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, that has nothing to do with me, but I just think that making out in the park, regardless of your, you know, status, is a heavy move.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yes, I. Yes, I agree.

[Ant Prisco]

I.

[Frank Alvarez]

To, to, to a degree, I think that the intensity of the make out, like, I guess maybe even just making out. Like, I think we're at. We're at passionate kiss level now.

[Joe Santagato]

I even that, like, I think that, like, just given a kiss is like, like, is very nice and like, like appropriate. But for me, I just. It feels so intimate to be like, we're gonna make out and there's Gonna be, like, straight. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I get it. I. I think I honestly have more issue with the person that felt like I'm gonna film. Wait until. Wait until the Internet sees this.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And it's just like, dude, you suck.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, you. We have become just like, the, the idea of getting a tweet or a post to go viral has.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Become more powerful than, like, invasion of privacy.

[Ant Prisco]

Is it. Is it weird to say, like, I'd be fine with this? I think as long as they're not making noises. Noises like, like, you know, how do you make out? You know what I'm saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like, make out with your hand

[Joe Santagato]

right now and explain.

[Ant Prisco]

You know what I'm saying? Like, making, like, a moaning kind of noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, as long as you're not doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I got you. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

As long as they're not doing that. I'd be like, oh, that's.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, you have to. That's how you make out, right?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't make out silently.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

We're learning a lot about Joey today, I guess.

[Joe Santagato]

What if you're gonna make out?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I'm not sitting here. I'm not saying you're wrong, but, like,

[Joe Santagato]

you gotta throw some passion into behind a makeout.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can't just be like,

[Joe Santagato]

yeah, especially if my hands go in the back.

[Frank Alvarez]

If the hands in the back like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, yeah, I'm not even, like, wolf.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's not even like you're not even kissing at that point. You've just lined your mouths up to create the most intense amount of suction between two humans.

[Ant Prisco]

Respectful hand placement.

[Joe Santagato]

Me.

[Ant Prisco]

Like, these hands could be much, much worse spots for a public bench.

[Joe Santagato]

Really? That the dude's hand. Like, that's the most intense spot you can get besides, like, grabbing a boom or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I think there are way more

[Ant Prisco]

intense you could get down there.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just, I, I, I get, I get. And I don't want to drag these poor people. Like, I don't like that. The, the. I'm telling you right now, if I was a bystander and I saw someone do that to another couple and they get into it, I'd go up to the person that was recording of them, be like, you're fucking weird.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Like, why would you.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why? Like, who do you think you are that, like, you're the moral authority on this? And, like, you're going to. What? Like, what's the End goal with this, you're going to be proven right.

[Joe Santagato]

I honestly don't think there's a moral issue. I don't feel like I would. Like, I wouldn't see people making out and be like, those people are disgusting. I'd be like, I would never do that. Yeah, that's pretty much where my. The extent of my. Like, I'd be like, well, I wouldn't do that, but got like, you know, clearly they're horned and ready to go.

[Frank Alvarez]

I also think that there is, like, a lot more context needed. Like, if this is at a playground where there is, like, a bunch of young children playing.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, they're in a park.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but, like, there's different. Especially with, like, New York parks. Like, they're not all, like, geared toward, like, young kids.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I mean, they're not. If they're sitting on the top of a slide, then I'd be like, guys,

[Frank Alvarez]

they're on the monkey bars.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Yeah. That would be a little weird.

[Ant Prisco]

Kids waiting to go down. It's like, hey, hey.

[Joe Santagato]

You guys done?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

If they were doing this in a McDonald's ball pit, then I'd probably have a problem with it, honestly. But, yeah, it's fair. Like, do your thing. I told you. By the time that I saw a couple making out at a bar, super hard, and then the dude pulled back and he said, wait, who'd you vote for? And he left.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, just booked it.

[Ant Prisco]

How do you get that information? Via kissing. I.

[Frank Alvarez]

It must have been part of it before because they were making out for a while. It must have been part of it before.

[Joe Santagato]

And it was a darker bar, but they were at the bar, which I think is a wild place to be making out. Like. Like sitting at the bar.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I'm not justifying it, but I think once you add alcohol into it, there is obviously less decision making there. Release your inhibition Feel the rain on your skin.

[Joe Santagato]

That's what it is. It lets you down a little bit. It was also a whiskey bar. So two drinks there.

[Frank Alvarez]

A whiskey bar, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Good night.

[Frank Alvarez]

Where?

[Joe Santagato]

Long Island City.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that not the drunkest place on the planet where you can't get a beer, can you?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know, but it's, like, supposed to be, like, it's a whiskey first.

[Frank Alvarez]

I understand. I get the concept, but, like, I'm not sure.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't think you can.

[Frank Alvarez]

If you see two people intensely making out at a whiskey bar. Yeah, that is a. That might be the. I don't even know how to explain it. Like, that is so intense. It's just. Am I not crazy for that? Like, that's. That seems like that's like a tequila bar. Like, whoa, these people are drunk.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I mean, they didn't seem like sloppy drunk or anything. They just seemed like super making out with each other. And then he was.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just feel like whiskey is one of those alcohols that gets you quickly there.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. It could definitely catch up to you and get you going for sure.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean? Like, so, like, it's not like you're going to be like a moderate buzz. Like you're either not drunk or you're drunk.

[Joe Santagato]

You're turned up. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

You know, well, I'm glad this kind of passion exists in the world.

[Frank Alvarez]

I fully agree.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I'm all about people making out with their. Their people super hard. I just personally wouldn't do it in pub for reasons like this too. I wouldn't want someone running up on me with a camera. That would be weird.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was like Joe Santigato spotted in the park making out.

[Ant Prisco]

It's. It's also unfair that you can't just like smash their phone on the ground.

[Joe Santagato]

You probably could.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

But I mean, you guess what? That video doesn't get out there.

[Ant Prisco]

If I take it, you get in trouble for that. But it's like, it's. I feel like you should be able to.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, like, that's the thing. If that guy should be able to

[Joe Santagato]

stood up, spike it.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

And this video never. If this guy stood up and took the phone, that video is never getting out.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, but then you get in trouble. It's just. You get in trouble.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I agree. I'm not going to, you know, encourage criminality. You know how I love to not be a cr. Criminal.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

I love it.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, that's good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not like some people's dads here stealing limes.

[Joe Santagato]

You're guilty of your own crime.

[Ant Prisco]

Hey, man, I'm not gonna bring up your crimes. But.

[Joe Santagato]

But before we get to the rest

[Frank Alvarez]

of these crimes, I commit no crimes.

[Joe Santagato]

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[Frank Alvarez]

I do love a good meal. I love a meal. Love a good one.

[Joe Santagato]

You love a meal?

[Frank Alvarez]

I love a good meal. Oh, I made a good meal. You don't like a good meal?

[Joe Santagato]

Are you getting attached to the word meal?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's one of those things. If I say, like, five more times, I'm gonna be like, that's the weirdest word on the planet.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I haven't done that in a while. Where I got a word, I'm like, is this right?

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I love the word pumpernickel. Just a good word.

[Joe Santagato]

What even is it? It's. I know it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's a grain.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, it's like a.

[Frank Alvarez]

Isn't it?

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think it's a grain, but pumpernickel. Just a great. I also. I'm not a big fan of the. The taste. It, like, is, like, super fine.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, it's. It's like, gray.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, it's the name of, like, the type of bread. Yeah. I thought it was a grain.

[Ant Prisco]

Probably ground whole rye grain.

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, bread's so good, dude. I love bread, dude. I love bread, dude. Bread's so good.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm such a little, like, if. If. Because. Because I've gone through different, like, dietary restriction phases and stuff like that. The two things that are the most difficult for me to not have or limit bread.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, cheese, I can. I can probably limit cheese.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really.

[Joe Santagato]

But, like, bread, I can't. I love bread.

[Frank Alvarez]

And if I'm gonna limit cheese, I'm doing. No, I'm not doing. Like, this is peanut shredded mozzarella.

[Joe Santagato]

I could do that if I'm desperate.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. I'd rather have the.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd rather have nothing than not something I don't enjoy. And I'm trying to make work.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, I would enjoy it.

[Frank Alvarez]

How do you know?

[Joe Santagato]

I've done it. I've had it before. Like, some of those cheeses.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just. I know what it is, and I know it's not cheese, and I'm like, man. But this just makes me miss more. It just, like, further highlights how good ch. Cheeses.

[Joe Santagato]

Cheese is really good. And it's, like, nasty, isn't it?

[Frank Alvarez]

It is kind of stinky and filthy.

[Joe Santagato]

It's, like, spoiled.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know if it's always spoiled. Like, some are like, blue cheese is mold.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. What the hell?

[Frank Alvarez]

Gorgonzola. Talk about good word.

[Joe Santagato]

I haven't had gorgon.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is a great word, dude. Espo's mom makes the best gorgonzola salad I've ever had in my life.

[Joe Santagato]

Gorgonzola just sounds like the name of a 10 foot, 500 pound man with one eye.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. It sounds like if there was like an. A Greek version of the Power Rangers, what their Megazord would be called. Gorgonza. Gorgonzola. Come on.

[Ant Prisco]

Right?

[Joe Santagato]

I can't picture the Greeks doing that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Speaking of the back. Oh, they apparently invented butts.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that true?

[Joe Santagato]

Look that up, Google. So did Greeks invent analogue.

[Ant Prisco]

I believe the Greeks invented sex. But. But the Italians introduced it to women. I believe is what the thing was.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that the joke?

[Joe Santagato]

Yo, hold on.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, is that the joke?

[Joe Santagato]

That was a crazy thing.

[Ant Prisco]

You just.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that the joke?

[Ant Prisco]

That's the. That's what? That's the joke.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's what your dad. That's a joke your dad told.

[Ant Prisco]

That's the class.

[Frank Alvarez]

Your dad seems like he'd be pumped to tell that one.

[Joe Santagato]

But Italians did. Did Greeks invent anal.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did the Greeks invent anal sex?

[Ant Prisco]

We want to search this on this. Yes. Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is his computer. No, you're trusting AI.

[Ant Prisco]

No single culture or person invented that practice.

[Joe Santagato]

This is.

[Ant Prisco]

Which would make a little more sense if you think about it. Actually.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Greeks invented Chex.

[Joe Santagato]

It's funny.

[Frank Alvarez]

Italians didn't do it. Gail.

[Joe Santagato]

It's funny to imagine the Greeks, like, inventing anal sex and then traveling on ships and getting to other countries and being like, you have to try.

[Frank Alvarez]

They show up in their togas with their grapes and wine and they're just like, wait, we got a couple things that we're showing you here. Democracy and anal sex and the Olympics. The Olympics. Democracy. Putting that thing in that butt. Right.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, I. I fully went my whole life believing that was true. I don't see.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, that's all.

[Joe Santagato]

Maybe they perfected it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, this is an example of like a harmless thing to just continue to believe. Like, there does. It doesn't do anyone any bad if we just continue to believe the Greeks invented anal. Right? Like, you think someone's gonna come out and just be like, wait a second. It feels like the Mesopotamians actually did it.

[Joe Santagato]

It feels like a natural. Like you would think that the first people that are like, oh, we do this. It's like it's right there. You know what I mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Once you try the one, you'd be like, oh, maybe these other.

[Frank Alvarez]

You got another one apparently too.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, that one's got to be cool too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Wait, so how many do you have?

[Ant Prisco]

Have.

[Joe Santagato]

Right? And then. And then you or if it's, if

[Frank Alvarez]

it's guy on guy, they're just like, well, you only got one.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, what else am I gonna, what

[Frank Alvarez]

else am I gonna. Well, I mean, there's a couple, you know, there's, there's.

[Ant Prisco]

You always have two.

[Frank Alvarez]

The book ending, you know.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like, they're just like.

[Joe Santagato]

So it feels like how could the Greeks be the one that like, you know what I'm saying?

[Frank Alvarez]

Like, how could we go.

[Joe Santagato]

So much time.

[Frank Alvarez]

I think, Wait a minute. I think most history is traced back to the ancient Greece. Like ancient Greeks or the ancient Egyptians. Who came first?

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I. Egyptian. I was of the full belief that the world was, to my understanding, like it started in Africa.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, that's my understanding as well. So it's probably the Egyptians.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, this is a common question.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Egypt. Yeah. So it is Africa.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I think they say that Africa is the cradle of human civilization.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, by, by a lot.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Dude, I think that Africa is like the beginning of everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

I, I believe. Yeah, that's, that's what I have heard as well. So then, so you think Pana, you

[Ant Prisco]

think in all those years.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well that was before Pangea was before humans, brother. I think Pangea was like dinosaurs.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm saying like, they're saying like. Never mind.

[Ant Prisco]

Cuz they were like the center of Pangea. You're saying that's what. Yeah, it. So in all those years, was it the center of.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

You thought that no one else decided to be like, what about the other one?

[Joe Santagato]

Wait, how, how long was it?

[Frank Alvarez]

It's like 30, 30, 100 BC compared.

[Joe Santagato]

What's BCE even mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's before.

[Joe Santagato]

Before Christ.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I think BC used to be before Christ, but BCE I think starts. Yeah, I think it's, it's something different now.

[Joe Santagato]

It's still bce. So neither of you have an answer? Great.

[Frank Alvarez]

It means something different. It used to mean before Christ and then anno Domini was ad but like BCE now means something different. Different.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. My question is, what does it mean?

[Frank Alvarez]

I gotcha.

[Ant Prisco]

Before Common era.

[Joe Santagato]

What's common era?

[Ant Prisco]

I believe that's just like the way

[Frank Alvarez]

you say it without, without being religious.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, some people, but I still don't know like numerically what it means.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, so BCE works. So if it goes from 3,000, it goes up down to zero and then from zero up to 20, 26. So we are in the common era now.

[Joe Santagato]

From zero to now. Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Zero to now is the common era. And before that it was BC so before. So 3000 wasn't the year 3000. It was 3000 before year zero.

[Ant Prisco]

Wait a minute.

[Joe Santagato]

I think you're making that up.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I'm not.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know what's going on.

[Frank Alvarez]

It was counting down.

[Ant Prisco]

The term BC itself appeared.

[Frank Alvarez]

We should probably talk on this podcast of ours.

[Ant Prisco]

No, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

See, this is something that, like, you know, I went to ccd, so it was all like, before Christ and after Christ. And I was like, well, I'm not gonna ask about years. It's like, what?

[Ant Prisco]

Okay, this is the answer. So BCE is the same as bc. It corresponds directly to bc.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is what's tough. When I say something that is right, you guys, like, you have to look it up.

[Joe Santagato]

Frank, you're right.

[Ant Prisco]

10%.

[Joe Santagato]

And I wasn't disagreeing with you. I'm saying, I don't know. I was asking questions. But bc. So they say that, like.

[Ant Prisco]

So.

[Joe Santagato]

So what? Then the. The Christians believe that Christ was born.

[Frank Alvarez]

They start to year zero. Well, they. I think that's when they start, like, figure it, like, now this is like our linchpin nexus event. Like, we're gonna start counting everything after this nexus event.

[Joe Santagato]

And everyone goes by that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, I think that it was established with the whole, like, Christmas thing in mind. And then other people have been like, you know what? We're just gonna call it something different, but we'll keep.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, other religions. Is my. Is my point. Like, they acknowledge the fact that it's 2020.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, that's a great question. I'm not. I'm not as well versed with other religions. Like, record keeping or like, how they acknowledge years.

[Joe Santagato]

Where'd you type?

[Ant Prisco]

Do other religion. Do other religions go off B.C. also?

[Frank Alvarez]

No.

[Joe Santagato]

I have no idea. Man, oh, man. We're getting really.

[Ant Prisco]

I'm sure it all lines up in their own way.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what? Something I learned that is cool. And I might have brought this up before, but There were originally 10 months to the year. That's why our last month is December and Dec. Deca is the prefix for 10.

[Joe Santagato]

Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

November, 9, October, 8. And then Julius Caesar was just like, give me two months in the best time of the year, and they're mine. That's why. Julius, Augustus, July and August.

[Joe Santagato]

That's fire. That's kind of crazy that we just let him get away with that.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, I think Brutus had something to say about that.

[Joe Santagato]

He was just like, you did what, dude?

[Ant Prisco]

And the 13 and the 32 other people probably had something to say about

[Joe Santagato]

it as well feels like what other 30, too?

[Ant Prisco]

I think he got stabbed 32 times right by. By the whole council.

[Frank Alvarez]

Did he? I thought it was Brutus. I thought this guy was just like, yo.

[Ant Prisco]

He was stabbed like Jon Snow.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Just everyone in a line. This is.

[Frank Alvarez]

This is for so and so. This is. You think there was one guy who's just like, this is for those random two fucking months. Douchebag.

[Joe Santagato]

He was stabbed 23 times, 44 BC by different people on March 15th. This is so insane to me that, like, we know it. Do this.

[Ant Prisco]

This, like, learn anything.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I mean, this is AI. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt.

[Ant Prisco]

This is pretty. Like, it was. Yeah, it was 60.

[Joe Santagato]

What would a grain of salt that.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's AI.

[Ant Prisco]

This is pretty common.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, this is, you know, AI is not making it up. It's like pulling information.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's pulling accurate information.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, it's pulling it from, like, Wikipedia.

[Ant Prisco]

Only one of the wounds was fatal.

[Frank Alvarez]

Not helping yourself.

[Joe Santagato]

Wikipedia is good now, is it? Yeah, they, like, keep on top of it, apparently.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I like to do? I like to go to a random Wikipedia page and then try to think of another Wikipedia page and try to get there in the least amount of clicks.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen that, you know, Wikipedia.

[Ant Prisco]

Speedrun.

[Frank Alvarez]

Is that what it's called?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I like to do that. So, like, go to that one. The Assassination of Julius Caesar. See if you can get to.

[Ant Prisco]

Where do we want to get to?

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, where can we get hot dogs? Perfect.

[Ant Prisco]

So help me. Tell me if you see something.

[Frank Alvarez]

So we got to scroll down. I mean, there's got to be something about him. Go to the Julius Caesar page. And then adding the months.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, and we get the 4th of

[Frank Alvarez]

July, and we can get to 4th of July, and then we can fucking. Definitely.

[Ant Prisco]

You made us. You made us waste a click because we were already on Julius Caesar page.

[Frank Alvarez]

Well, no, that was the death of Julius Caesar.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay, so now we got to get to July.

[Frank Alvarez]

This might include something about his fucking, like, putting the months and shit like that earlier life.

[Ant Prisco]

We don't care. This might take a little longer than I thought.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's a lot of reading, which is also not really good for.

[Joe Santagato]

First of all, this is the longest Wikipedia page I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Ant Prisco]

Where are the months, bro?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, on the left, there's like a. Like a table of contents.

[Joe Santagato]

This guy Julius Caesars did a couple of takes, didn't he?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, he did everything.

[Joe Santagato]

He seems pretty important.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, all right.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, this problem feels like this game's over.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Thing.

[Ant Prisco]

All right, you guys go. I got it. I'll figure it out. Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

It's okay.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

It's fine.

[Frank Alvarez]

God, I wish I could find old timey coins.

[Joe Santagato]

Probably could. Where just at an antique shop or something.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, but like that. I'm talking like an ancient Greek coin.

[Joe Santagato]

Like a shilling. Is that what they were called? No, I don't think so. Pirate money doubloons. I'm not versed. Have no idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

But it's still. You still. Haven't we self and played the new Assassin's Creed. We can go be fucking pirates again.

[Joe Santagato]

Is that out?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, baby, it's out. Might need to pop that bitch on props. If there's a. If there's a thing where we could both be pirates on a ship together. You want to do one?

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

I love being pirates on a video game.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know they were like, really actually not good people in history. But like, I'm cool with like the version of pirates that we have come to, like where they're just like rum drinking, like partiers.

[Joe Santagato]

So I think if you paid attention to any of those movies, you would see that they're also bad people in those two. Yeah, they're like pillaging.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I'm saying like walking the plank. Listen, I understand the atrocities of the pirates. You don't need to try to like, you know, bring me back down to reality. What I'm saying though is that like, I like the version of a pirate that is not a bad person.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, was he. Was he a pirate? Technically, he was kind of like boys with the British.

[Joe Santagato]

He was a mate. He was. He was on the ship and fighting with a sword and stuff.

[Ant Prisco]

He's Davy Jones.

[Frank Alvarez]

He did become Davy Jones eventually.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, did he?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, you didn't see Spoiler alert.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, my bad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Because he rescued his dad.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, his dad was Davy Jones.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, his dad was taken by Davy Jones's people. Who's the guy with the squid face?

[Ant Prisco]

It's Davy Jones.

[Frank Alvarez]

That was Davy Jones.

[Joe Santagato]

And then someone else can be him.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. If you stab him in the heart, then you.

[Frank Alvarez]

But like the heart is in the thing.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, it's like in a box.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, it's not in him.

[Joe Santagato]

And then I get the squid face. Why the would I want that?

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, you don't get the squid face, but you just go get to be like a up barnacle face looking.

[Ant Prisco]

No, I think the squid face was only if you neglected, like, your duties

[Joe Santagato]

or something, then they'd give you a squid face.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm not opposed to having a squid face if I'm a pirate.

[Joe Santagato]

I'm opposed. Really. I mean, not that I want to be the other guys either.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, to be honest, if you're trying to be a pirate, you're going to be taken way more seriously if you got a squid face.

[Joe Santagato]

Just give me the peg leg and like a gun that shoots a lot of smoke out when I shoot it.

[Frank Alvarez]

It like a powder rifle.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I'd be cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

I. I just.

[Joe Santagato]

Man, I would love a musket right now.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, I don't think you would.

[Joe Santagato]

Pack it up.

[Frank Alvarez]

First of all, wildly inaccurate. Second of all, I'm not trying to

[Joe Santagato]

kill anyone with it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean, if you're going to have a musket, the point. Like, just as like a wall art, a piece of wall decoration, fire that.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I mean.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, I guess that would be fun. Just a pack of.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'd rather have a real pirate's sword. Like the ones that are like curved, like Shakira.

[Joe Santagato]

What's that called? Shakira. Like, it's like, it's.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's got like Shakira, like an hourglass. You know what I'm talking about?

[Joe Santagato]

It doesn't have an. It's. It's. It's one way.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, but you. You know what I mean, though? What?

[Joe Santagato]

I would like a sword like Shakira.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, well, like any sword that has like a bend in it, you're gonna tell me that's not cool.

[Joe Santagato]

Like, what are they called?

[Frank Alvarez]

Sickle.

[Ant Prisco]

Same.

[Frank Alvarez]

Scimitar.

[Joe Santagato]

Scimitar, yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like what they had in the mummy where it's like that and then it's just a. Like a half. Yeah, yeah, that would be cool.

[Joe Santagato]

I kind of like that. I like when people like scimitar with s. Yeah, I got it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that's not what I was thinking.

[Ant Prisco]

Maybe sword.

[Joe Santagato]

It's like the ones from Aladdin.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, I don't know that one. That one. That first one.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, that's the one, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's terrifying. Could you imagine seeing someone riding, running, anything at you with that in hand?

[Joe Santagato]

That's an Arabian sword.

[Frank Alvarez]

What was the sword that, like, they used in the mummy where it was like a. It. Was it a sickle? Is that the one that. I'm thinking.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know.

[Ant Prisco]

It's not a sickle, is it?

[Joe Santagato]

Not that one.

[Frank Alvarez]

No. The guys. The. What are Their names? The guys that were on the horseback that were, like, protecting the tomb.

[Ant Prisco]

The Magi.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Magi? Yes.

[Joe Santagato]

God.

[Ant Prisco]

Universal. The Mummy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah. That's why he knows that's a great ride. Is it?

[Joe Santagato]

It is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think I've ever been. It's kind of like that. Like the fourth one.

[Ant Prisco]

This one?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, kind of like that.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Ant Prisco]

Looks like one. Oh, a little more.

[Joe Santagato]

What the hell is that?

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, swords are fucking rad, dude.

[Joe Santagato]

Swords are cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, there it is.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, those things.

[Ant Prisco]

This?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

Cool as hell.

[Joe Santagato]

I will say it doesn't look like Shakira.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know what I mean? That's the curvature to it. It was a joke.

[Ant Prisco]

If you like, this way kind of does.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right. Those are cool. That's a cool sword.

[Ant Prisco]

Dude, it doesn't look very effective.

[Frank Alvarez]

Why not?

[Joe Santagato]

What do you mean?

[Ant Prisco]

Because I feel like it's just.

[Joe Santagato]

I mean, not against someone with a gun.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. You ever see Indiana Jones?

[Frank Alvarez]

Jones. Love Indiana Jones. He has not seen Indiana.

[Joe Santagato]

I've never seen Indiana.

[Frank Alvarez]

We've gone over this ant.

[Ant Prisco]

Sorry.

[Joe Santagato]

What's, like, the best one?

[Frank Alvarez]

Raiders of Lost.

[Ant Prisco]

First one.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

And then the third one.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

Does it hold up? Or am I gonna be like, bro,

[Ant Prisco]

I have no idea.

[Frank Alvarez]

Raiders Lost Ark is incredible. It holds up forever. Because it's set in the 40s, so it's not like. It's like. Like the 80s where it's like. This is kind of aged out.

[Joe Santagato]

Right, Right.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, it's set in the 40s or the 30s. Before the Nazis. I think it's right before the 30s.

[Joe Santagato]

Huh?

[Frank Alvarez]

There are Nazis in the movie. That's why.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I figured. I forgot about that.

[Ant Prisco]

They find an ark. There's a book. I think there's a cool book in it, so.

[Joe Santagato]

Love a good book.

[Frank Alvarez]

The Ark of the Covenant. Dude, just. Just go home and watch it. Like, you're being kind of like a prick at this point for not watching it.

[Joe Santagato]

What have I done?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Joe Santagato]

I just haven't seen it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I know, but, like, you, like, haven't seen stuff. Yeah, but, like, at this point, we've talked about it enough that, like, just do it.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. That's not convincing.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's a great movie. It's.

[Joe Santagato]

I would.

[Frank Alvarez]

Piece of American Pat. I'm. I'll text Nicole and be like, get this guy to fucking watch.

[Joe Santagato]

You know what?

[Frank Alvarez]

That's. That's.

[Joe Santagato]

You know, that's a better route. I'm sure you can convince Nicole to watch.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'M sure. I guarantee. I guarantee she has seen Indiana Jones.

[Joe Santagato]

She may have. I don't know.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'll watch one of these movies that you like that I've never seen, and then you watch a movie that I like that you've never seen.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't even need you to do that. I want you to just watch what you want to. And I also don't even. Can't even think of a movie that would be like that because I. I'm

[Frank Alvarez]

well versed in movies.

[Joe Santagato]

That is true. You have seen everything.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's not true.

[Joe Santagato]

What have you not seen? That's, like, a popular movie.

[Ant Prisco]

Recommend a book for him. He has to read.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, you got a better chance of hell freezing over. That's not. That's not true. I'm reading right now.

[Joe Santagato]

What are you reading?

[Frank Alvarez]

Comic books. And I'm reading a book on, like, Marvel stuff, but it's not comic books. It's a. I'm not getting into this. Trying to think of a popular movie that I haven't seen that people just been like, what the hell?

[Joe Santagato]

Is there one you have?

[Ant Prisco]

I don't think so.

[Joe Santagato]

You're also, like, a huge movie guy.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah, like, I've seen. I've seen movies.

[Joe Santagato]

Keith's seen everything, too.

[Frank Alvarez]

Keith is one of those people that I think legitimately has seen most of what has come out.

[Joe Santagato]

He literally will be like, yo, you got to watch this movie. And it's just like, I have never heard of anyone in it.

[Frank Alvarez]

I still haven't watched Oppenheimer.

[Joe Santagato]

Me neither. I haven't seen Barbie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I watched Barbie. I liked it. I enjoyed it.

[Joe Santagato]

Haven't seen a lot of popular ones.

[Ant Prisco]

I haven't seen either of those. I thought we were talking a little more like Indiana Jones.

[Joe Santagato]

Well, yeah, I am. I'm thinking of, like. Like, if you haven't seen, like, wizard of Oz or the Sandlot.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, I've seen Wizard of Oz. I've seen it. I mean, you're just gonna go over,

[Joe Santagato]

have you seen the Sound of Music? Yes, I saw it, too. It's. It's whatever. I don't care.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's. I've not seen Citizen Kane.

[Ant Prisco]

No, these are too old. These. I didn't mean that.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen Citizen Kane. Actually. It's too.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's one of those things that, like. It's like, you got to go, most pop. Yeah. Most popular movie. Because if you go, like, best movies of all time, like, no, I haven't seen this, like, French new wave movie from 1960.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't like Shawshank. Duh.

[Frank Alvarez]

Have you seen any James Bond movies?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, but I don't remember which ones.

[Frank Alvarez]

I haven't seen the newer ones I started watching.

[Joe Santagato]

Go Back to the top. Let's see which is the first one we haven't seen.

[Ant Prisco]

Okay.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen all these. Seen Schindler's List I haven't seen.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't know what that is, but that's one. That one's too old.

[Frank Alvarez]

I'm 12 angry men. I've seen.

[Joe Santagato]

That sounds familiar, but I may be confusing with something else.

[Frank Alvarez]

Good, the Bad, the Ugly. I've not seen all, like those.

[Joe Santagato]

That's Clint Eastwood, right?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, those, like, spaghetti westerns. I've never seen those.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen it, but not, like, in its entirety.

[Frank Alvarez]

And I was like, I cannot remember it.

[Joe Santagato]

Damn. I've seen a lot of these, now that I think about it. I don't.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah, they're the most popular movies in the. For a reason 7.

[Joe Santagato]

It's a Wonderful Life, Silence of the Lambs, Saving Private Ryan. I've never seen the samurai movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've never seen Seven Samurai. But I want Private Ryan I also

[Joe Santagato]

didn't see until, like, three years ago.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a. That's an intense movie. Yeah, that's one of those that, like.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, we're getting into ones I have not seen. Life is beautiful. No idea. City of God. No idea what that is.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't think I've seen City of God.

[Joe Santagato]

This is bad. Back to the Future. Haven't seen any of them.

[Frank Alvarez]

That's a.

[Joe Santagato]

You can.

[Frank Alvarez]

You could watch the first and the second. The third. Yeah, you can.

[Ant Prisco]

Third one's Cowboys. That's cool.

[Joe Santagato]

Kill Bill.

[Frank Alvarez]

Love Kill Bill.

[Joe Santagato]

I've seen it. I haven't seen that.

[Frank Alvarez]

Spirited Away anime.

[Ant Prisco]

Second one is.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, that. No. So that's a whole bloody affair.

[Joe Santagato]

They.

[Frank Alvarez]

They re released it last year and, like, they made the two movies into one.

[Joe Santagato]

Oh, yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

It's the whole thing. You Kill Bill.

[Frank Alvarez]

One and two are incredible.

[Joe Santagato]

Parasite is so good. Parasite. I just watched it again recently.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've not seen the Pianist.

[Joe Santagato]

Me neither. I'm not into, like, that. Is that a Brody?

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Joe Santagato]

No, I'm not.

[Frank Alvarez]

I've also not seen the. The Brutalist. What's him. And Winning for ist movies.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, he loves Ist. Never seen Whiplash. American History X. You watch that recently? It's crazy. Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

You would like Whiplash. It's. It's fun.

[Joe Santagato]

It's just.

[Frank Alvarez]

It's just J.K. simmons scrambling the. Out of Miles Teller.

[Joe Santagato]

Hell yeah. Nothing I love more than than across

[Frank Alvarez]

the Spider Verse and Into the Spider Verse are two of my favorite movies.

[Joe Santagato]

Django. Unbelievable movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

Usual Suspects is good. A little. Yikes. But good.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, you ever see Alien?

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, have I seen Alien?

[Ant Prisco]

I'm always really good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Alien and Aliens are really good. I haven't seen three. Or Resurrection.

[Joe Santagato]

Fifteen of those.

[Frank Alvarez]

No, there's not that many.

[Joe Santagato]

No.

[Ant Prisco]

Well, there's a lot of aliens.

[Frank Alvarez]

You can watch them in a weekend. There's Alien Aliens, Alien three, Resurrection, if you count the Alien versus Predator. And then there's like Prometheus.

[Joe Santagato]

Wally's up here at 57.

[Frank Alvarez]

What a fucking great movie.

[Joe Santagato]

I just watched that recently for the first time. It's good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Really?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah. First time I've ever seen it.

[Frank Alvarez]

Oh, man, I love it. So, like. And, like, got me pissed off though, at humans.

[Joe Santagato]

Just like whoever was with Wally was pissing me. It was making me very sad.

[Frank Alvarez]

Raiders, the Lost Ark. There you go, number 62. I haven't seen the new Dune movies. Dune part one and part two.

[Joe Santagato]

I saw one.

[Frank Alvarez]

I just.

[Joe Santagato]

And it's very Sandy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Ant Prisco]

Too sandy for me.

[Joe Santagato]

It's very Sandy. It's very sci fi.

[Ant Prisco]

Oh, for sure.

[Joe Santagato]

Glorious bastards. Well, it could be my favorite movie.

[Frank Alvarez]

A lot of. A lot of, like, modern sci fi is built off of Dune and those original books.

[Joe Santagato]

Wow. Like, that makes sense. I mean, it's like Sandy.

[Frank Alvarez]

Like everything. Star wars literally, like the same. They call it in Dune spice, and then they call the same thing in Star wars spice. Like, it's like the drug.

[Ant Prisco]

Have you ever seen the Shining?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's great. I've seen it Mad Times. Oh, the Great Dictator. I actually watched that.

[Frank Alvarez]

You watched the Great Dictator?

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

Dude, when the. Did you watch the Great.

[Joe Santagato]

I saw a clip of it once and then I saw that they had it on hbo. So I was like, I'm gonna watch.

[Frank Alvarez]

Watch it, Coco.

[Joe Santagato]

Holy great movie. Good Will Hunting have beat that movie up in the last four years.

[Frank Alvarez]

Toy Story. I mean, I've seen that more than I can admit.

[Joe Santagato]

Braveheart. Low key.

[Ant Prisco]

I might have seen Braveheart because of my dad. Like, I'm not kidding.

[Joe Santagato]

No, that generation loves Braveheart, brother.

[Frank Alvarez]

My dad had the. The. The two VHS thing and played that movie a lot. I remember being young and being like. Like, are they showing their dicks? Oh, and at the end, and they were.

[Ant Prisco]

They were showing their this and the Patriot.

[Frank Alvarez]

That is such a. Your dad movie.

[Joe Santagato]

The Patriot, I think was. I can't remember it, but I remember watching it being like, oh, God, that was cool.

[Frank Alvarez]

We Every family has that one, like, dad movie that they watched way too early.

[Joe Santagato]

Mine was Independence. Not Independence Day. Armageddon. No, no, no. In Deep Impact.

[Frank Alvarez]

Mine was Full Metal Jacket. I saw that as, like an 8 year old, and I was just like, huh. Oh. Huh. You know, I was watching that and

[Joe Santagato]

my mom was in the room, and then when that dude blew his head off, she was like, this is dumb.

[Frank Alvarez]

Yeah. I mean, and then it gets also bad after that when they go to Vietnam.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, it's not great.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah.

[Frank Alvarez]

All right, well, Joker, Toy Story. Yo. Toy Story 3 might be the best toy story of the all.

[Ant Prisco]

Lotso hugging bear.

[Joe Santagato]

I don't know what that is. Oh, oh.

[Frank Alvarez]

I was about to. Now we're getting. See, like, we're getting like, Lawrence of Arabia, the apartment.

[Ant Prisco]

Yeah. But then we're back, though. It's like, Heat good.

[Frank Alvarez]

Scarface is good. Reservoir Dog's good.

[Joe Santagato]

Up. That tore me to shreds, bro.

[Frank Alvarez]

There's like a lot of those old Billy Wilder movies like Double Indemnity and stuff that I haven't seen. Just because I. I'm like, it's not my job to watch stuff like that.

[Ant Prisco]

And no, it.

[Frank Alvarez]

You know, like. Yeah, I could see, like, people being like, well, I. I'm a movie reviewer for a living, so I need to have seen Amelie.

[Joe Santagato]

Yeah, well, Clockwork Orange, you've seen that, of course.

[Ant Prisco]

Fair enough.

[Joe Santagato]

There we go, folks. I mean, that is all we have for today's episode.

[Ant Prisco]

I don't know.

[Joe Santagato]

We just went through a movie list for the last 10 minutes.

[Frank Alvarez]

I don't know why, but we go crazy. We started with me, respectfully getting pissed on, and then now we're ending with movies.

[Joe Santagato]

It's never ending.

[Frank Alvarez]

Never.

[Joe Santagato]

Where can they find you, Frank?

[Frank Alvarez]

The Frank Alvarez? All over social media and at the Basement Yard. All over social media. And like we said earlier, if you're coming to any of the shows, the basement yard.com submit, send in your pictures, let us know we're really excited to get back after it. And then patreon.com somebody's been yard.

[Ant Prisco]

And you find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram.

[Joe Santagato]

You guys can follow me at Joe Sanigato. You can follow the show on Tick Tock and Instagram at the Basement yard. And that is all. See you guys next time.