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Frank Alvarez
Plan B is a backup birth control
Joe Santagato
option that's there for you when things
Frank Alvarez
don't go according to plan.
Joe Santagato
It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation.
Frank Alvarez
Plan B is available nationwide at all
Joe Santagato
major retailers and through delivery apps like DoorDash, no ID, prescription or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception and it won't impact your future fertility.
Frank Alvarez
That's freedom to be use as directed. Welcome back to the basement.
Joe Santagato
Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank. Hi.
Frank Alvarez
I'm a little tired and I was thinking about if I should have some caffeine, but it's late in the day and I don't want to mess up my sleep.
Joe Santagato
It's four o'. Clock.
Frank Alvarez
It's before four, brother. If I have one of those, I'll be fucking doing backflips until.
Joe Santagato
Really? Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Well, he is like about to be 34, so.
Joe Santagato
Wow.
Frank Alvarez
Careful.
Joe Santagato
What time do you go to bed?
Frank Alvarez
Like 10:25, 10:15.
Joe Santagato
That's a normal time.
Ant Prisco
Really?
Frank Alvarez
You think I could do it?
Joe Santagato
I mean, it's too late now. You can't do it.
Frank Alvarez
Why not? Why not? I'll crack it open now and I'll see what happens.
Ant Prisco
No, you shouldn't shotgun it.
Frank Alvarez
Way to go.
Joe Santagato
Everything is.
Frank Alvarez
I'm obviously 34 and you're obviously 19. Right.
Joe Santagato
You know, and I obviously almost got pissed on this morning by an animal in my elevator, which is not where you're supposed to get pissed on by animals. Not that you're supposed to.
Frank Alvarez
Hold on. Back up, back up, back up. First of all, why is it obvious that you almost got pissed on?
Joe Santagato
It's not obvious. I'm fitting it into the joke. I was fitting it into the conversation.
Frank Alvarez
You're just trying to fit in your pissing fetish.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, not that I have a fetish. I don't know where you got that, but I. I got into the elevator this morning with Charlie and there was another dog in there and the dog was like sniffing my legs while. Which is like typical because I have a dog. So dogs, when they see me, they sniff me pretty good.
Frank Alvarez
You have the legs of a like a pissable leg, which is kind of nice.
Joe Santagato
That's not what I'm saying.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, legs. They normally piss on trees and trees like, those are like, those are good looking trunks.
Joe Santagato
But dogs smell my legs. What I'm saying is dogs smell my legs because I have a dog and they're like, oh, there's a dog here, whatever. And then this dog, like, started turning. Cause once they start turning and giving you the butt, they either want you to scratch, or they're about to lift that thing and let it go.
Frank Alvarez
If it's a boy dog, girl dogs,
Joe Santagato
they get down right there.
Frank Alvarez
They get down. They get down and they. I don't know what.
Joe Santagato
Been around a dog that had a foot fetish once. Whose dog was that? And it would just sit on your foot and, like, rub its o.
Frank Alvarez
It would scoot your foot.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. And I. Whose dog was that?
Frank Alvarez
Dude, this thing was fully using your foot to get off. Who was that?
Joe Santagato
You know, different dog.
Frank Alvarez
Honestly, you're kind of like. I kind of vaguely remember what you're talking about too.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Now that you're thinking about his dog.
Joe Santagato
That was, like, on my foot back in the day.
Ant Prisco
But anyway.
Joe Santagato
And then this dog went to go
Frank Alvarez
pee a little bit, and I had to move out of the way real
Joe Santagato
quick, and it peed in the elevator.
Frank Alvarez
Be honest about something really quick. If a dog starts to hump you, you kind of pumped no part of. Why would I just, like. Because they're doing it out of respect. Like, they're doing it as like, I'm trying to be more of a. Of a fucking male than you, more of a man than you are. So I'm gonna hump you and show you. But I'm think you're sitting there and you're just like, yo. Like, you think I'm that powerful that you want to hump me, Frank, I
Joe Santagato
don't think that's what's going on.
Frank Alvarez
What isn't it?
Joe Santagato
Like, I don't think dogs are humping because of a respect thing.
Frank Alvarez
I think it's like a domination thing.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, exactly.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, but they don't.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, like, they feel so. Like, they feel like they can dominate.
Joe Santagato
They feel like they could have to
Frank Alvarez
dominate you because they have to. Because you're the powerful being. So, like, going on, I need to go and hump this thing.
Joe Santagato
But what happens when they hump female dogs?
Frank Alvarez
It's a powerful power thing.
Joe Santagato
They're like, oh, I'm. I'm so intimidated by this woman that I have to have sex with her.
Frank Alvarez
Well, no, they have to. Like, they have to overcome the circumstances, and, like, they have to show and assert their dominance. So if a male dog is asserting its dominance over you, you're like, that
Joe Santagato
means it thinks that, like, I can dominate you.
Frank Alvarez
No, but then. Or it means that, like, I better get on top of this guy first. Not that any dogs are humping me like that.
Joe Santagato
Well, this is why. This is. I don't really follow the line of thinking.
Frank Alvarez
Really.
Ant Prisco
I'm starting to be confused about what you think respect is.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, like, how do you show respect to people? You think that dogs. If a dog humped you, you take that as a compliment because you think this dog is thinking, oh, this guy's an alpha male. I better fuck him. Is that what your line of thinking is? Yeah, I'm more so thinking it was like, I can dominate, that I'm gonna dominate.
Frank Alvarez
I think it's just, like, I have to prove my worth here. So I need to. You know how they say, like to the world, you know how they say, like, you know. You know, when you go to prison, find the biggest, tallest guy and hit them first?
Joe Santagato
I don't think do are doing that.
Frank Alvarez
I think it's a thing in the animal kingdom that, like, they have to, like, if there is a rival male, they need to immediately assert their dominance.
Joe Santagato
Can you look that up? I don't.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know if that's true. Why do male dogs hump other male dogs?
Ant Prisco
But we know this isn't true. Oh, okay.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I mean, we don't know. Why are you saying that like it's common knowledge?
Joe Santagato
It's not my line of thinking. I don't know if it's true or not, but I assumed it wasn't. But I haven't read it in a book.
Ant Prisco
What answer are we looking for? Before I hit search, I guess we're
Joe Santagato
gonna find out what we see here. Excitement, rough play, or stress. It's not sexual tension.
Ant Prisco
It's not sexual. So can be stress or anxiety.
Frank Alvarez
Social status.
Joe Santagato
Dogs may mount another male to show power. So that's what I mean. They're dominating you to show you that they're the powerful one.
Ant Prisco
They're actually trying to disrespect you as well.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. They're like, you're not the powerful one. I'm the one. I'm gonna hump you.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. But then I kick them off and I'm like, you're not humping me. Like, I. I am more powerful than you, dog.
Joe Santagato
Now you're in a fight with a dog.
Frank Alvarez
I'm not in a fight with a dog. I would never do that. The fact that they feel like the. But the point I'm making is, like, the fact that they feel like they have to try to dominate you. Shows like, yo, they. They know that dominating me puts them at a higher status and respect level.
Ant Prisco
It's a better point.
Joe Santagato
But I don't think that's what that means.
Ant Prisco
I also do not think that's what that.
Joe Santagato
I think it's like they want to be like, I'm. I'm the baddest one here. I'm going to hump everyone. You know what I mean?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. And they're just like, oh, well, here's Joey. He's clearly the other alpha male. He'll let. Here, let me dominate, let me hump him. So everyone else goes, whoa, he fucking humped Joey, dude.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I don't.
Frank Alvarez
I think I know that Google just gave us an answer, but it's. Who knows what fucking Google is pulling from? They're idiots.
Joe Santagato
Probably all the information.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, they're sometimes idiots, you know, and that was. I saw that was AI answer. So it's probably nonsense. So I think that's how that works.
Ant Prisco
Well, I think the point was you were looking like, oh, it's a sign of respect. I think that's the answer you were looking for.
Frank Alvarez
I think we all, you know, like, what movie was it where they're like, Kiss the Ring. Like, there's. There's like weird signs of respect. I wonder. There's like a sense of if a dog is trying to hump you, it's like it knows that you're the.
Joe Santagato
But don't you think, like in high school, right, like the bully bullies kids. Do you think that they're bullying the kids? That they're like, I'm bullying this kid because he's the other alpha male? Or they just bullying them because they know they can different.
Frank Alvarez
Now we're trying to equate human interaction with dog interaction.
Joe Santagato
We've been doing that the whole time.
Frank Alvarez
I think that male human bullies are different from dog bullying. I think that dog bullying is more of an animalistic thing where there's different social structures and understandings with humans.
Joe Santagato
You know what? You can have it. I. If you are getting humped by a dog and you're going, thanks, it's completely on.
Frank Alvarez
You know, like, getting humped by a
Joe Santagato
dog is a sign of respect. Honestly, where I thought you were going to go with that was like, you
Frank Alvarez
feel like, oh, they'd hump me. Flattered.
Joe Santagato
And you're like, oh, I must have, like, I mean, legs today.
Frank Alvarez
They're doing it. I mean, if I. I think that the pissing is where it comes into, like, oh, I'm. Us have like really pissable legs. I think, like, that's pretty cool because dogs love to piss every. All over everything.
Joe Santagato
I mean, they like to piss on, like, fire hydrants I want legs like that.
Ant Prisco
I have. I have a genuine question. But because the dog tried to piss on your leg, does that mean that it was trying to, like, one up Charlie?
Joe Santagato
Technically, I think so.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Joe Santagato
Like, dogs are always doing that, bro. My dog, if, like, I have him off a leash and a dog pees, he'll walk over immediately, piss on the same spot. I'm like, yo, this is probably. This is, like, gang.
Frank Alvarez
I'm, like, impressed by, like, how much pee. They can just pee on command. Like, I can't pee all the time.
Joe Santagato
My dog pees. The first time he pees is, like, done.
Frank Alvarez
Really?
Joe Santagato
The second time is also, like, a normal pee for me.
Frank Alvarez
Is he hydrated? Is that work for dogs too? Or is it. He's always yellow. It's always yellow.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Okay.
Joe Santagato
And then sometimes he'll like, if the. You know, he's like, peeing a bunch, at a certain point, he just lifts his leg. Nothing happens. And I'm like, what are you getting out of?
Frank Alvarez
Well, I think that. I think all it takes is like a little. A little squirt to get the idea across.
Joe Santagato
But there's no squirt.
Frank Alvarez
I piss also stinks.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Wonder what happens if you feed. Do me a favor. Go home. First of all, make sure this is safe. I'm sure it is. Feed asparagus to Charlie. Tell me what happens. Does his piss stink or do dogs not have that same thing?
Joe Santagato
Even if I did that, what do you get?
Frank Alvarez
I get nothing.
Joe Santagato
Because you know that it makes your piss stink.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
And you just want to know if dogs.
Frank Alvarez
I just wonder if it's a universal experience. If the consumption of asparagus is for
Joe Santagato
stinky piss, I'm unsure if they can asparagus.
Frank Alvarez
So did. Wait, so is this also confirming that Charlie is pissed on your leg?
Joe Santagato
Why would that confirm that?
Frank Alvarez
If this other dog was pissing on your leg, going to piss on your leg, then that means that he had to out piss Charlie. So has Charlie pissed?
Joe Santagato
No. I think that maybe he just smelled Charlie on me and it was kind of like, I'm gonna pee on this dog smell. I think that's why dogs pee on pee.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. I think it's just like, they're gonna know that I was here. Like, they're gonna know that I was. That I walked by.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Apparently someone explained it once. I saw this, like, video, and they said that dogs smelling pee is like their newspaper. It's like they get all their information from the pee. So they're smelling pee and they're like, so I stopped dragging him away from smelling pee as much because sometimes it's like, all right, you're here all day.
Frank Alvarez
You let him experience, like, just like, yeah, he's getting his fix.
Joe Santagato
Sometimes he's. He's in the same puddle of piss for a while.
Frank Alvarez
I'm like, okay, let's find out what sprinkles is up to today.
Ant Prisco
It's kind of funny to think that Charlie has to go to that piss. Be like, the Knicks won. You know, it's like.
Frank Alvarez
It's like, wow, good for the stock market.
Joe Santagato
Took a dive today. But, yeah, basically, it's like that for them. But the dog almost tried to pee on me, and I was like, oh. And I moved out of the way because I have the reflexes of a cat.
Frank Alvarez
And did it piss in the elevator?
Joe Santagato
Yeah, a little bit.
Ant Prisco
Oh, really?
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, it, like, gave a little pee, and I was like, bro, what
Frank Alvarez
is, like, the proper. Like, let's say you're in an elevator. Let's say, like, you were the dog owner and Charlie pissed on someone else's legs.
Joe Santagato
Oh, my gosh.
Frank Alvarez
What is like. Like, what do you. How do you extend an olive branch to them? Like, what do you do?
Joe Santagato
Like, I would ask. I'd be like, I'm so sorry. Like, how can I make this? Because what do you do? What am I gonna do? Like, how do I. I'm gonna, like, dab her jeans or something. You know what I mean? Like, what am I gonna do? I can't really. Like, my dog peed on you.
Frank Alvarez
Would you go as far as to be like, I'll replace your shoes or something like that?
Joe Santagato
If they. It would depend how upset they were getting, and then I would probably eventually get there, but I. My dog has peed on another dog before.
Frank Alvarez
That's just. That's. That's the. That's kind of par for the course of having a dog.
Joe Santagato
I imagine that's a wild thing to imagine, really, that your dog is out in the world just getting pissed on and that's normal.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I think that it's just kind of baked into, like, the risk of having a dog.
Joe Santagato
It getting peed on to some degree.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
It's like you're gonna get pissed on or thrown up on.
Joe Santagato
No, no.
Frank Alvarez
If you have a baby. So, like, it's just baked into, like, sometimes you're gonna get your dogs to get a little piss on it, like,
Joe Santagato
on its back and head, like, by another dog. Is that what you're saying?
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I thought you were meaning, like, paws or Something like that.
Joe Santagato
Like peeing on its own paws?
Frank Alvarez
No, like another dog, like, coming by and pissing on, like, it's paw. Charlie's paw.
Joe Santagato
I would not say that's par for the course. That's never happened to my dog.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, why would you think that? I would. I would just make the assumption, but
Joe Santagato
there was that my dog lifted his leg and was peeing. Like, I think he was peeing, and a dog came over and was, like, sniffing and just got, you know, too crazy. And he hit the stream, and I felt bad, and that was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. She's like, it's okay. Like, immediately the woman was like, it's all right. Like, it was his fault.
Frank Alvarez
It's all right. It's par for the course. Would have a dog.
Joe Santagato
Well, I don't know that she said that.
Frank Alvarez
All right, let's do this. We haven't done it in a while. You be you.
Joe Santagato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
You have Charlie. We're in an elevator. You and Charlie pisses on my. My leg.
Joe Santagato
Okay. Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Can you call action, please?
Ant Prisco
I can. Action.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, my God.
Joe Santagato
I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.
Frank Alvarez
It's okay. It's not. It's.
Ant Prisco
It's.
Frank Alvarez
It's fine. It's not a big deal.
Joe Santagato
I am so sorry, Charlie.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, my God. It's everywhere.
Joe Santagato
He literally has never done that before. I'm so sorry.
Frank Alvarez
Stinks. You give him asparagus?
Joe Santagato
I did not give him. No, that's it. I'm sorry.
Frank Alvarez
It. These are new shoes.
Joe Santagato
I mean, is there something I could do? Do you want me.
Frank Alvarez
Do. I'm getting on my shoes. Do you have. Do you have a wipe on you or something that I could use?
Joe Santagato
I don't have a wipe.
Frank Alvarez
Like a wet wipe or.
Joe Santagato
I don't have a wet wipe. Can I get your information? I'll give a Venmo.
Frank Alvarez
Or do you. What. What floor are you going to?
Joe Santagato
I'm going outside to take my dog outside.
Frank Alvarez
What. What apartment is yours?
Joe Santagato
Why do you want to know that?
Frank Alvarez
Can I come by and you just wipe it off?
Joe Santagato
I could come to you. I'm not really comfortable with you with giving.
Frank Alvarez
I'll just follow you.
Joe Santagato
Definitely not comfortable with that.
Frank Alvarez
I just. I need. I need to. I need you to wipe this off.
Joe Santagato
Why don't we go down to the front and we'll ask the doorman for something.
Frank Alvarez
Good idea.
Joe Santagato
I'm happy to clean your shoes.
Frank Alvarez
Good idea. All right. Yes. Okay, let's go. Let's go right now. But in the meantime, can you, like, Just like, spit on it.
Joe Santagato
Spit on what? You want me to spit on your shoes?
Frank Alvarez
Like the piss?
Joe Santagato
Yeah. You want me to spit?
Frank Alvarez
Just like, if it smells too much like piss, it's too pissy. So, like, just spit on it just to make it smell like anything else.
Joe Santagato
To be clear, you want me to spit on your sneaker right now?
Frank Alvarez
Spit on. Spit on the piss on my shoe.
Joe Santagato
You want me to get on a knee.
Frank Alvarez
I can lift my leg up really high.
Joe Santagato
So you're gonna lift your leg up. I'm going to spit on your shoe. And that somehow is going to be. Yeah, I can spit right here. I can see how you can get it pretty high.
Frank Alvarez
Can you spit?
Joe Santagato
No. You're very.
Frank Alvarez
Just spit.
Joe Santagato
You want me to spit on the
Frank Alvarez
bottom of it right here?
Joe Santagato
I'm not really comfortable doing this. All right.
Frank Alvarez
Can you just buy me new jeans?
Joe Santagato
What happened to the shoes?
Frank Alvarez
These are from Anthropologie. They're for some reason, 400 bucks.
Joe Santagato
The jeans?
Frank Alvarez
Yep.
Joe Santagato
I thought he got on your shoes. Why am I spitting on your shoe?
Frank Alvarez
They also got on my underwear. Can you replace these?
Ant Prisco
I'll probably call cut.
Joe Santagato
Probably call cut.
Ant Prisco
He was fumbling with that for a while.
Joe Santagato
Probably call cut.
Frank Alvarez
I imagine. Like, if. Seriously, though, like, if they were just like, they just ruined my brand new shoes, I would.
Joe Santagato
I would offer to, like, you know he peed on someone's shoes. Yeah, I know that. Dog pee, like, not.
Frank Alvarez
It destroys stuff.
Joe Santagato
Not good. It's like, radioactive.
Frank Alvarez
Is it?
Joe Santagato
He's peed on. We had a white rug. I guess that's my fault for being a dumbass, but why are you a
Frank Alvarez
dumbass here for having a white rug?
Joe Santagato
I have a dog. Shouldn't have a white rug if you have a dog.
Ant Prisco
Like, a yellow rug.
Joe Santagato
It was like, more of like a cream, but again, you can see the.
Frank Alvarez
Any of those, like, light, easily stainable. Colors are.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, it's just rough when you have a dog. But he peed on it. And, like, getting that out is like.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I've seen. I remember, like, I've seen things that apparently it can, like, kill a lawn. Like if you see, like, a bare spot in a lawn.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
It, like, is from dog piss, apparently. Which I always thought it was just, like, waste. That was, like, good for the environment.
Joe Santagato
Piss? No. The ship.
Frank Alvarez
Why not the pimps?
Joe Santagato
I don't know. What, like, ruined something with the grass?
Frank Alvarez
What is in piss that makes it not good for the earth?
Joe Santagato
The piss, the whole piss. But what, what, what element?
Frank Alvarez
I guess any of it.
Joe Santagato
I don't know. And why would. Why would make this grow double time.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, exactly. Like, if aren't we consuming all of the nutrients?
Joe Santagato
That's a dichotomy right there. It's, it's. It's. It's. This will make you grow, and this will make you die, and we have to meet in the middle.
Frank Alvarez
Duality of man.
Joe Santagato
Exactly. The dichotomy of stuff.
Ant Prisco
It causes chemical burns. Actually, it's highly concentrated in nitrogen and mineral salts. Just too much for the grass.
Frank Alvarez
Nitrogen is good for grass, though.
Ant Prisco
It does say that. So it's.
Joe Santagato
So. It's so pissed.
Ant Prisco
It says while nitrogen is a key nutrient, dumping it in one spot causes chemical burns, draws out the moisture of the grass.
Joe Santagato
So we're burning this thing. We're burning the lawn with dog piss. Like a fight club scene.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, so hold on. So what if you just dump a cup of piss into water and then it dilutes it? So then now it's nutrient, more nutrient compatible with the grass. So you could start a lawn care business where people send in their dog piss and you mix it in with enough water and they send it back to you. You could spray your lawn. Beautiful lawn.
Joe Santagato
Gonna spray my lawn with dog piss. It's gonna smell like.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, it'll be so, like, dissipated and not as, you know.
Ant Prisco
You still don't want your lawn to smell like dog piss.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but it's not like if it
Joe Santagato
could just water it.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, or like chia seeds, whatever it is. Chia pets, Whatever. Huh? What's a chia pet thing?
Frank Alvarez
That's just water and chia seeds.
Ant Prisco
That's why I said chia seeds.
Frank Alvarez
So you want to mix urine and chia seeds?
Ant Prisco
No, no, we're getting rid of the urine, I think.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I think so as well.
Ant Prisco
You're in.
Joe Santagato
Just gonna water it.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, my God. That. I know. If they ever make another Jackass movie, that's gonna be their morning. You chia seed pudding. It's just gonna be piss and chia seeds.
Joe Santagato
Oh, come on.
Frank Alvarez
Thick. You know what you guys should do?
Joe Santagato
No.
Ant Prisco
Who?
Frank Alvarez
You should do thickening agent in urine and see what happens.
Joe Santagato
It's like, disgusting even think about it. Also, I heard recently that, like, in Switzerland, they're, like, gonna start fining people because it, like, if you don't pick up your dog's piss, which I don't even know how you go about doing that.
Frank Alvarez
How do you pick? Wait, hold on.
Joe Santagato
Like, I have to walk around.
Frank Alvarez
So wait, do. When you. When Charlie goes out to pee, he pees and then it's just. It's part of the ground.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, it's. It's just for the earth. It's not for me.
Frank Alvarez
How would you clean up your dog's piss?
Joe Santagato
Unless I had a hose on me, I don't know how I would do that.
Frank Alvarez
Lord knows you don't got a hose
Joe Santagato
on you or, like, a turkey baster and I suck it up. Did I ever tell you about the time that I. Someone yelled at me for that?
Frank Alvarez
For having a turkey baster?
Joe Santagato
No, for my dog pissing on the ground. And I. I was like. This is when I lived in a story in my last apartment. Are you crying?
Frank Alvarez
I started to gag for some reason when he said turkey baster.
Joe Santagato
But I. I was walking my dog in. In Astoria around, like, Astoria boulevard and, like, 30 Summer street and it was at night, it was, like, real dark, and Charlie's peeing on a tree, and this woman, like, appeared out of nowhere. And I swear to God, she looked like she was made out of brick. Like, she looked, like, really old and crackly and, like. You know what I mean?
Frank Alvarez
Or.
Joe Santagato
What's the shit outside of, like, Italian homes?
Frank Alvarez
What's that?
Ant Prisco
Stucco?
Joe Santagato
She looked like she was made of stucco. And she had a cigarette and just, like, lit up her face, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then she was like, you're gonna pick that up. And I was like, oh, she thinks it's poop. So I was like, oh, it's. He's just peeing. And she's like, I don't care what his name is. That's what she said to me. She said, I don't care what his name is.
Frank Alvarez
And I'm like. So she.
Joe Santagato
My dog passes you. I'm like. I'm like, he's peeing. First of all, I said, he's peeing. And she's like, I don't care what his name is. I don't know if she was with me, but I was like, pit. I'm like, he's. No, he's peeing. And she's like, you gotta pick that up. And I was like, get out of here.
Frank Alvarez
Wait. I'm so confused by that. Like, is the expectation is. And I'm legitimately asking dog owners, is the expectation that your dog should. You should clean up your dog's piss with, like, what, a squirt bottle or something?
Joe Santagato
I think that if. If I was walking by someone's house and he, like, pissed onto their, like, gate or something and it. I don't know, then maybe and if I had water on me, then maybe I would, like, dilute a little bit. But what do you want me to do?
Frank Alvarez
I just. I guess I don't understand. Like, I think that's a part of, like, being a part of a society. If you're gonna allow dogs. Yeah, if you're gonna allow dogs, you need piss. It's the circle of life.
Ant Prisco
I think old crackly Stucco woman probably just thought he was taking a flump.
Joe Santagato
It's possible.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I was trying to be very clear.
Frank Alvarez
She went home and she was just like, this fucking young kid named his dog Peeing.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And be like, pee. No, don't worry, ma', am, his name is Peeing. Yeah, like, as if the name was gonna make any of it better.
Joe Santagato
Right? I don't care. His name is. I'm like.
Frank Alvarez
Like, no, this is Balto. Like, unless it was a famous dog of some sort.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Like, oh, well, it's Balta or Clifford.
Joe Santagato
So what does it say the town is. They're going to.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, this. They. They adopted it in June 2026. So it was recent.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
And I don't know their currency, but a hundred of it would be the fine for repeat offend.
Frank Alvarez
Frank.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Those are Swiss francs.
Ant Prisco
Swiss francs.
Joe Santagato
First of all, 100 Swiss Swiss francs is a lot of money.
Frank Alvarez
Is it?
Joe Santagato
Yes.
Frank Alvarez
How much is it?
Joe Santagato
It's. It's better than the dollar.
Frank Alvarez
If I'm like 200 bucks.
Joe Santagato
I don't know if it's that.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, if my dog pissed on 120 bucks, 122, it's still a lot of money.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
So if my dog pissed on a chain link fence and I got fined
Joe Santagato
120 bucks, I'm burning the city down.
Frank Alvarez
I'm letting you know. You might as well find me for whatever it costs to rip up the fucking lawn, because that's what I'm doing.
Joe Santagato
I may kidnap a congressman joker style if I'm getting this ticket for dog pee.
Frank Alvarez
Just have them, like, read a message. Like, you know, like they've been fucking abducted, taped up, and like you're forcing them to read something.
Ant Prisco
So high temperatures.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know where I got that. I'm sorry. I'm tired.
Ant Prisco
So high temperatures and drought made the urine smell much worse in public areas, so they decided to take it down.
Joe Santagato
I will say that's tough because the building that I live in, like, there's a lot of dog owners. And sometimes you get outside and you're like, oh, my God, it's on me. Because it's like stinky. But the, the building, like does a good job of like, they just like spray the front of the building.
Frank Alvarez
So then why don't they? It's Switzerland. They seem to have a good sense of what they're doing over there. What they could do is take all the money that they get from this and make like on each corner like a piss station.
Joe Santagato
What is that? What would that mean?
Frank Alvarez
It would be like a little piss station and then there's like a little like, you know, a little like spout that like they piss there and then you open the spout and it washes it away or something.
Joe Santagato
Like, I mean, you're at the mercy of a dog.
Frank Alvarez
Like, I mean. Yeah, that's the thing is like, I also don't, I just don't get, I'm telling you right now, if I ever were to get fined for something like that, it's gonna be a big old fat all problem.
Joe Santagato
I'd be really pissed.
Ant Prisco
Also, if you walk far, if you walk far enough, like people are just pissing on the street. We're expecting dogs to piss him.
Joe Santagato
Yo, I can't tell you how many times I've like gotten home from a night out. And then I'll take my dog out and he's peeing and I'm like, there's no one around. I would just love to rip a piss outside right now.
Ant Prisco
It's like, that looks so good.
Joe Santagato
I've never done it, but I am so tempted.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I mean, 2014, Frank has pissed probably. There was probably a good summer where I pissed more outside than I did inside.
Joe Santagato
I mean, hey, later than 2014, you said you used to rip pisses in your own backyard.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, not like that. There was like three or four or five. Five times.
Joe Santagato
Thousand times. Yeah. No, yeah, no, I mean, I do get it. Like when it's hot, like a hot smelling piss.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, yeah. Not great. I, I, I agree. But also, like, they're dogs. They're not doing it to like the authority, you know, like, they're not doing it like middle finger to society.
Joe Santagato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
They're doing it because they physically can't go anywhere.
Joe Santagato
Do you think that if we're okay with dog pee, we should be okay with people pee?
Frank Alvarez
I know, I think there's more people. So just because of the just sheer amount of numbers. No.
Joe Santagato
Right.
Ant Prisco
But like, are they peeing on all fours as well?
Frank Alvarez
I think there needs to be context if I am going to the bathroom in public. You need to like talk to me about why if I'm having, like, if I'm going to the bathroom in public, it's out of an emergency situation. Like, don't slap me with a fine to make it 10 times worse. But, like, if I'm just like, drunk and having the time of my life and decide to do it, then I. I understand.
Joe Santagato
When's the last time you peed outside? And it was like, yo, this is illegal, but I'm peeing.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, that's a great question.
Joe Santagato
I can't even remember.
Frank Alvarez
I can't either, honestly.
Joe Santagato
Actually, I think I do remember. And it was years ago.
Frank Alvarez
I think. I mean, do we count my car as outside?
Joe Santagato
It's a completely different category that I think you're in by yourself.
Ant Prisco
I don't think you're allowed to have it out in the car. So, yeah, I would say yeah.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. That is illegal. You can't have your wiener out.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I'm not like, hey, guys, take a look.
Joe Santagato
It doesn't. That's not the point. How would you even be? It's below the surface of the. Like, you're. You're dick is out in your car. Yeah, but you know, you don't do that.
Frank Alvarez
Yes, I do.
Joe Santagato
So you pee inside of your shirt.
Frank Alvarez
I like, cover everything with my shirt.
Ant Prisco
Get the Yo.
Joe Santagato
No one believes us.
Frank Alvarez
You and who's driving? How many arms you got? First of all, Mr. Octopus, first of all, I haven't done it in my current car.
Joe Santagato
He. Frank.
Frank Alvarez
Outside of once you're going like this.
Joe Santagato
With one hand holding the bottle with the other. And then what?
Frank Alvarez
Driving with your forehead. Like, how is this car moving? I pull over. No, you don't. No. Yes, I do. I. I really, really do. I. I'm serious. I have not pissed in. I could tell you the one time I have pissed in my current car.
Ant Prisco
I'm. You just said you never did.
Frank Alvarez
No, no, I said outside of one time. And it was like an intense emergency.
Joe Santagato
The story is changing like a mood ring.
Frank Alvarez
It's absolutely not changing. Like I told you from the New Haven show was the one time I had to piss in the car.
Ant Prisco
You pulled over.
Frank Alvarez
You're thinking, yes, yes, I did. Yes, I did.
Joe Santagato
Why are you thinking? Because the times you weren't.
Frank Alvarez
Because I. I'm trying to remember. Because I had 103 fever and was then spent the next four days in the hospital.
Joe Santagato
But the why you think is because there were these times where, I mean, you definitely piss while continue to drive.
Frank Alvarez
Let's check the statute of limitation on that, and then I can tell you what no, it's a joke.
Ant Prisco
You did it in Minecraft. But continue the.
Frank Alvarez
In Minecraft.
Joe Santagato
In Minecraft is a Lyme criminal, and you are a flasher. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's way worse.
Frank Alvarez
No, no.
Ant Prisco
Way worse.
Frank Alvarez
No, no, no. That's. Do that.
Ant Prisco
That's way worse.
Frank Alvarez
That's way worse.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
No contributing to this. My dad steals one line. Christ, you better get to these ads, because we need a way out of this. I am not a flasher. Cut that the fuck out.
Ant Prisco
Oh, that's not that bad.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, it is.
Ant Prisco
Well, you're not actually one. That's why. Allegedly.
Frank Alvarez
No,
Joe Santagato
Don't do that in my.
Frank Alvarez
All you guys. How about that?
Joe Santagato
All of us?
Frank Alvarez
How about both of you? You.
Joe Santagato
Why?
Frank Alvarez
I. You're gonna piss your pants soon. I'm putting a curse on you.
Joe Santagato
You gotta hex me.
Ant Prisco
You gotta do that.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Do I have to do that?
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I pee my pants. That's fine.
Frank Alvarez
I, like, recently, like.
Joe Santagato
No, I would do it soon.
Frank Alvarez
You're gonna piss your pants.
Ant Prisco
Oh, shitty. Got it.
Joe Santagato
What Soon?
Frank Alvarez
Within the next calendar year.
Joe Santagato
365 days. I'm gonna let her rip. Piss what? Piss.
Ant Prisco
Rip. All right.
Frank Alvarez
It's not the biggest problem, brother. It would not be sick. I piss a lot. I'm not like. It wouldn't be like a cute little. Like a little tinkle if I'm. If I'm pissing in my pants. The day is done. I need to change.
Joe Santagato
Are you, like, cursing while it's happening?
Frank Alvarez
Oh, no, it's like one of those.
Ant Prisco
Just like.
Frank Alvarez
Oh,
Joe Santagato
I don't know that I can piss your pants. Like, you know, like, I could definitely.
Frank Alvarez
I think you could, but you'd have to actively do it. That's the thing is we've tricked our brain into not peeing on command. Like, to. Into peeing on command.
Joe Santagato
I feel like it's so much easier to crap your pants and pee your pants because my butt, I barely have control over. Like, in a moment of crisis, my butt is like, you're on your own. Like, he doesn't listen.
Frank Alvarez
It leaves you out to dry.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, like, my butt does not listen to me. When he. When he really has to go. He's like, I'm not even. I'm not even gonna. Don't even talk to me.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, don't get him even. Don't. Don't get me started on stomach stuff. We're talking strictly pissness here.
Joe Santagato
Well, that's what I'm saying. But, like, my wiener is, like, always in tune where he listens he's like, you know, whatever. And even I put him through hell sometimes because I'm on like I can't get to a bathroom and he'll hold on. Then like my, my up my like bottom of my stomach starts to get it like hard.
Frank Alvarez
You know what I do? It does. Yo. I swear to God, same thing. But you know what I do? Sometimes I'll leave here and have to pee. I'll be like early into the drive and have to pee and then I'll just eat sunflower seeds and I'll just not have to pee. I think like the sodium will like reabsorb the piss into my body.
Joe Santagato
Jamie, would you go look that up?
Ant Prisco
He, he. I must have a harder job.
Joe Santagato
Works it. There's. There's something going on.
Frank Alvarez
Whether it be. I think like if, like if you have to look up, if you have to pee and you introduce sodium into your body, does that make you not have to pee anymore?
Joe Santagato
I feel like no.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
I mean that would make sense though, right? Because your body retains. As you have salt, your body retains more fluids.
Joe Santagato
But urine a waste. If waste was sucked up into your body, I mean that would be like separate.
Frank Alvarez
But urine is mostly water, so maybe it just like takes the water parts out of it and then there's just more concentrated urine.
Joe Santagato
I don't think you can sunflower your seed out of pissing.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know. What does it say?
Ant Prisco
So off the rip. No, eating sodium does not stop the knee from peeing. Actually, the kidney response to more sodium actually results into more urine production over time.
Joe Santagato
You've successfully placeboed your body to do the reverse, which is impressive, honestly. It's the power of thought and of manifestation.
Frank Alvarez
And we have manifested being able to piss less when having more salt.
Joe Santagato
Well, I'm eating something salty. It's sucking up all the piss and so I don't have to piss anymore. Hey man, whatever works.
Frank Alvarez
What are we if not walking science experiments.
Ant Prisco
That's fair.
Joe Santagato
That is true. I suppose. Yeah.
Ant Prisco
If you think about it, you're just a meat suit walking around. Isn't that weird?
Frank Alvarez
Not even your meat straw. Remember Dr. Mike told us we're kind
Ant Prisco
of like, nevermind, like it's a machine, but it's flesh. Weird.
Frank Alvarez
I like that.
Joe Santagato
I don't know that it's a machine. A machine, I mean, is metal.
Ant Prisco
I mean a machine of flesh.
Frank Alvarez
There is a. There is a mechanical component.
Joe Santagato
Huh? There's a mechanical component. You said like a baby.
Frank Alvarez
There is. There is like mechanical like parts to us, right?
Ant Prisco
We have joints. We have.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, we have electricity joints. We have a. We have a literal battery. Yeah, two. I guess it's called the ticker. It is called the ticker, right?
Ant Prisco
That's all I got.
Joe Santagato
When I think about that, my heart is just beating. Yeah. Like, it's just beating all the time.
Frank Alvarez
It freaks me out when I think about breathing, dude.
Joe Santagato
Me, I'm like, it don't get tired.
Frank Alvarez
Just like. And it's just going all the time.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Like, it's just always beating. And like, at no point, the heart's just like, nah, we'll go, dude.
Ant Prisco
You know, that's the thing.
Frank Alvarez
When I'm with. When I'm hanging out with the kids, like, we'll be like laying in bed watching something. I'll listen to their heartbeat and I'm just like, this is crazy, dude.
Joe Santagato
Yo. It's a beating heart.
Frank Alvarez
It's a beating heart and it don't stop ever. It's just always. What is that?
Joe Santagato
And we're just like, trusting that it's gonna keep going to work.
Frank Alvarez
I know it's scary, dude.
Joe Santagato
And then when we get tired, it actually works more.
Frank Alvarez
It actually, I think not more, but more efficiently because we have a slower heart rate, faster. Oh, but you mean tired like.
Joe Santagato
Like when you're exasperated. Yeah, when your body's tired.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I thought you meant like sleeping.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Oh, no, sleeping. It comes down sleeping.
Frank Alvarez
That's what I'm saying. But it's apparent efficient. Like, that's when your body heals the most. When you're sleeping.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, something like your brain literally cleans itself too, bro.
Joe Santagato
My heart.
Frank Alvarez
So your eyes. Your eyes heal themselves.
Joe Santagato
Body's nuts.
Frank Alvarez
Vaginas.
Joe Santagato
Vaginas.
Frank Alvarez
Self cleaning.
Joe Santagato
Self cleaning.
Ant Prisco
Sometimes. Sometimes.
Frank Alvarez
What do you mean sometimes?
Ant Prisco
Like, sometimes it gets out of whack. It happens.
Frank Alvarez
What the are you talking about?
Ant Prisco
I'm saying sometimes they know, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there's something wrong.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, yeah, but no, no, I get that. I generally though they're known as self cleaning body parts.
Joe Santagato
There's a joke in there about gender roles and cleaning and vaginas and women.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, we're not. We're not. We don't. We're not those guys.
Joe Santagato
I don't quite know what it is.
Frank Alvarez
We're not those. We're not those comedians to try to find.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
You know, women are always cleaning.
Frank Alvarez
You know what? Work that out for the shows and see how that goes.
Joe Santagato
I'm sure it'll go stupendously.
Ant Prisco
Speaking of the shows.
Frank Alvarez
That's right. We got some submission stuff that we should. Why don't you do the ads first and then I'll talk about them.
Joe Santagato
We have some ads here. The first one being this lovely box of Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon, if you guys don't know. It's a high protein, zero sugar cereal and it's amazing. Okay. This one is their fruity flavor. It is awesome. I love it. But not only does it taste good, but each serving packs 12 to 14 grams of protein. So that's high protein, 0 to 2 grams of sugar, and it tastes really good even though it's only 0 to 2 grams of sugar. 4 to 5 net carbs certified gluten free. So it actually keeps you fueled for the day. So this is a great substitute or honestly just a great meal to have in the morning. And it's great. It's keto friendly, gluten free, grain free, soy free, wheat free, naturally flavored. It's delicious. And it's, you know, it's, it's amazing. So go try it out. They also have these treats, which I always keep my house, and they're amazing as well. But they're crispy, airy, protein packed snack bars. 12 grams of protein, 7 grams of fiber, and 0 grams of added sugar. Okay. And they're great. It's like a little bar like this. Bang, bang, boom. I've had all of the flavors, all of them are good and they're great. And with these, there's a bunch of different ones too. There's like frosted, there's cocoa, there's Cinnamon crunch. That's my favorite. But yeah, they have that as well. But they have a bunch of stuff at Magic Spoon. It's kind of all centered around being high protein, low sugar. And yeah, it's great. So go check it out. You can look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or at your grocery store, the grocery store nearest to you. And you can get $5 off your next order at magazpoon.com basement. Okay, so go to magicspoon.com basement to grab yourself a box of this or some of the, the, the treats. And yeah, that is magicspoon.com basement. Go get that and get $5 off your next order. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so in just under 48 hours with better help. They are going to help you pair. They're going to help you get paired with a therapist and help you out. And I've been in therapy for years. Now I think that everyone should be in it. I think it's very important and it's great to, to have like a non biased person in your life that you can talk to and get advice from or they can help you work through some of your own issues or, or whatever. Even nothing traumatic, just, just anything. And I think that it's helpful for everyone. So I would definitely recommend it. And yeah, you can definitely go check them out. BetterHelp visit betterhelp.com basemyard that is betterhelp.com basementyard okay, more than 6 million people have used BetterHelp globally. So definitely go check it out. Betterhelp.com basement yard and while you're sitting
Frank Alvarez
there and you're perusing the Internet, why don't I give you a couple extra places that you can go and check out. The first of which being Patreon. Patreon.com the Basementyard is the super subscription service we use here to give you guys more of us and a little bit of us a little bit extra a little early. You know, it's a lot of fun. You guys have been so incredibly supportive and wildly just making our dreams come True over here. Over 51. Close to 52. Over 52, 000 of you guys are supporting us over on Patreon and we want to thank you guys and try to entice the people that haven't come on over a little come on over, come hang out and have a little fun with us. Check out those tiers. That first tier, you get these episodes one whole week in advance. And then that second tier, well, guess what? You got exclusive episodes.
Joe Santagato
What the.
Frank Alvarez
Every single Friday. So you could start your week with an episode, a new episode of the Basement Yard and end your week with a new episode of the Basement Yard. And then you got the, the Santa Gatta Studios in the middle there. There's so much, there's so much going on here and we want you to be a part of it. So go check it out@patreon.com the basement yard thank you so much. And, and guess what? If you join, by the way, you get everything. If you're brand new, you get everything that had come before. So you have hours and hours and hours of episodes on there for you to peruse and take a gander under the skirt. So go check it out. Patreon.com TheBasement Yard and then we got a new store. SantagadoStudios.com you're going to see some new merch options up there. They're Fun. They're a lot of fun. You're definitely going to go on and check it out and see what we got there. We had the studios FC jerseys that you guys seem to really like and there's new stuff being made all the time. So go to SantagottoStudios.com and take a little look over there because there might be something over there that you like. And you know what? I got one more for you. Thebasementyard.com what are you gonna find there? That's a great question there, Jack. You're gonna find information on our live shows because we're going back on the road and doing more live shows. We are very excited. We have been figuring out exactly what run a show is gonna look like and we want it to be interactive because you guys have been so supportive and it's been so fun getting to talk and interact with you guys during these shows. So we're doing it again. So during those first two rounds of shows we did those cards where people submit cards and we're like, oh my God, what are. These are crazy stories. And we talk about them sometimes to the person and what have you. Or sometimes they're endearing. Now this time you're doing something similar. You're going to the basementyard.com submit and you're submitting an out of context photo from your camera roll. It could be anything that you want it to be. It be could. It could be funny, it could be silly, it could be endearing, it could be crazy, it could be kooky, it could be who knows what. But you are going to go, you're going to tell us which show that you're attending. You're going to upload a photo. I'm sorry I sneezed. And then you're going to tell us the story behind that photo. So you can include your name if you want, but it's a lot of fun and we're excited to have that to be a part of the show. So go check it out. Thebasementyard.com Submit we're excited to get back on the road. We're excited for everything and we hope you're excited too. I apologize for sneezing, guys. I do. I couldn't help it. Do you stop sneezes? I know people do like the whole like pineapple thing which I've tried but like, can you stop your own sneezes?
Joe Santagato
I think if I try to, if I swallow a lot, like, and I try to like, like if I feel like a sneeze coming on I just swallow a lot, but I don't think anything helps.
Frank Alvarez
Mr. Swallows a lot. Get him chat. I did what aunt does.
Ant Prisco
He chatted you.
Frank Alvarez
I did what aunt does.
Ant Prisco
Hit you with a chat.
Frank Alvarez
I hit you with a chat. I did what he did.
Joe Santagato
That was homophobic.
Frank Alvarez
Was it?
Ant Prisco
I don't know. I missed it.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, no. I apologize. That was not my intent.
Joe Santagato
Well, now you did it.
Ant Prisco
Mangoes.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
You hit him with a chat. I could hit you guys with a
Frank Alvarez
riddle if you want me. God damn it.
Ant Prisco
I got one. Me.
Frank Alvarez
Let me drink my water before I start.
Joe Santagato
It's just like a Johnny whoop thing, sort of.
Ant Prisco
It's a verbal one. So you're just gonna tell me what can touch and what cannot touch. Simple as that.
Frank Alvarez
Tips.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. Right. So I'm gonna go. Apples touch. Lemons touch. Oranges do not touch.
Frank Alvarez
Not cool with oranges.
Ant Prisco
So you need to tell me one more time. Apples touch. Lemons touch. Oranges do not touch.
Frank Alvarez
Not one bit.
Ant Prisco
So you need to give me things that you can put in a category of touches and cannot touch.
Frank Alvarez
So apples touch. And lemons definitely touch.
Ant Prisco
Lemons definitely touch.
Joe Santagato
Apples always touch.
Ant Prisco
Apples always touch.
Frank Alvarez
Lemons always touch.
Ant Prisco
Lemons always touch.
Frank Alvarez
Oranges never fucking touch.
Ant Prisco
Never touch.
Frank Alvarez
Grapes touch.
Ant Prisco
Grapes do touch.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Blueberries don't touch.
Ant Prisco
Blueberries do touch.
Frank Alvarez
They do.
Joe Santagato
Xbox controllers touch.
Ant Prisco
Xbox controllers do touch.
Joe Santagato
Got nothing. I have no idea why they do.
Frank Alvarez
Friends touch.
Ant Prisco
Friends do touch. I believe, for another example. So like here, tables touch. Chairs do not touch.
Frank Alvarez
They don't.
Ant Prisco
Don't.
Frank Alvarez
Tables touch. Ladders, Chairs.
Joe Santagato
Wait.
Ant Prisco
Okay. Ladders, do those touch those?
Joe Santagato
Do touch those.
Frank Alvarez
I don't think that. No, I don't think those do not letters touch. Because I thought it was a syllables
Joe Santagato
thing, like ladders, tables. Is it because chairs. Chairs don't.
Frank Alvarez
Apples, apple, two. Lemon, two. What was the other four ranges? That's three. So maybe to be clear, an orange
Ant Prisco
also does not touch orange.
Frank Alvarez
That's two. Oh, damn. Because that's too like apple and lemon.
Joe Santagato
What the hell?
Ant Prisco
Plants touch.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, they do.
Ant Prisco
Trees do not touch.
Frank Alvarez
Now I'm getting angry. God damn it. Is it like the generality of it, like the category touches, but the actuality, like this specific thing. So, like, it'll be touch. It'll be like trees, planes touch. But a 747 Dreamliner doesn't touch.
Ant Prisco
A dreamliner does touch a dreamliner. Planes touch.
Joe Santagato
Do bats touch?
Ant Prisco
Bats touch.
Frank Alvarez
What the fuck?
Joe Santagato
What about an ass?
Ant Prisco
Ass does not touch. Balls touch.
Frank Alvarez
Yo, I'm an idiot.
Ant Prisco
I wonder if anyone at home has it yet.
Joe Santagato
Oh, wait.
Frank Alvarez
Apples touch.
Ant Prisco
Apples touch.
Joe Santagato
Why are you saying it?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. You're saying it like, why?
Joe Santagato
I thought it was a silver.
Frank Alvarez
This is why he's doing apple.
Joe Santagato
You know, like, apples touch.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, all right, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Feet touch.
Ant Prisco
Feet touch.
Joe Santagato
Feet.
Ant Prisco
I believe feet do touch feet. Cars do not touch.
Frank Alvarez
No, they don't. Cocks touch.
Ant Prisco
Cocks do not touch.
Joe Santagato
Fuck. God damn it.
Frank Alvarez
Now I just look like an idiot for saying cocks.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. Yeah. Bikes touch.
Frank Alvarez
Bikes.
Joe Santagato
God damn it. Bears touch.
Ant Prisco
Bears touch. Coyotes do not touch coyotes.
Frank Alvarez
A reclining chair does not touch.
Ant Prisco
A reclining chair does not touch.
Frank Alvarez
I got it.
Ant Prisco
I don't think he has it.
Frank Alvarez
I don't have it one bit. Do you think it's, like, something to do with the. Like, it's got to be the spelling or the letters and the words or something like that.
Joe Santagato
Always is.
Ant Prisco
Okay, what about this? America does touch, right? Australia does not touch.
Frank Alvarez
That doesn't help at all.
Ant Prisco
I promise. It does help. Promises touch. Secrets don't touch.
Frank Alvarez
You're just saying words like. You're just saying words like, we're gonna fucking get it.
Ant Prisco
Joe's trying really hard.
Joe Santagato
I'm like, right there.
Frank Alvarez
Promises.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, they do.
Frank Alvarez
Oh.
Joe Santagato
Oh, I got it.
Ant Prisco
Do you?
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I do.
Ant Prisco
I don't think he does.
Joe Santagato
I haven't.
Frank Alvarez
Hands touch.
Ant Prisco
Hands.
Joe Santagato
No, do.
Ant Prisco
Oh, maybe it does have it. Do not touch.
Joe Santagato
Oh, no, but. I know it.
Ant Prisco
But thumbs.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I know.
Frank Alvarez
See, this is where. This is how these.
Ant Prisco
This is my favorite part, when Joe does.
Frank Alvarez
This is your favorite part where I'm angry because you guys have ganged up on me.
Joe Santagato
Well, it's like, you have to think very, like, abstract about. Like, obviously it has nothing to do with the words. Well, I mean, like, the definitions of the words.
Ant Prisco
Got it.
Joe Santagato
You know what I mean? Like, it's never that. No, see, that.
Frank Alvarez
That. That's literal.
Joe Santagato
Like, it's about the words, but it's not about the definition of the words. That's not helpful.
Ant Prisco
Like, hats don't touch. Caps.
Frank Alvarez
So.
Joe Santagato
So the reason why I was paying attention, because he was. He was saying it weird, right? One of the word.
Ant Prisco
What were you saying? Like, apples or something?
Joe Santagato
He was going, apples, Right. Yeah. When he was doing that, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, like, paying attention to that. Like, why would he enunciate apples, right?
Frank Alvarez
Is it like something that, like, it starts with a vowel? No, because lemons.
Joe Santagato
No, no.
Frank Alvarez
Lemons Touch.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. App.
Frank Alvarez
Apples.
Joe Santagato
Lemons.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I got it. I got it.
Ant Prisco
I got it.
Frank Alvarez
All right.
Joe Santagato
Hit the word.
Frank Alvarez
I got it. Coke doesn't touch.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Coke doesn't touch.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
Pepsi touches.
Ant Prisco
Yes, but Pepsi touches.
Frank Alvarez
Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's so, so, so. Cat doesn't touch.
Ant Prisco
Does not touch.
Frank Alvarez
Puppy touches. Yeah. The touching is the lip.
Joe Santagato
The lips. The lips.
Frank Alvarez
I got it.
Ant Prisco
There we go. Not bad. Not a bad one.
Joe Santagato
That wasn't.
Frank Alvarez
That was. That sucked all the way. I fucking hate those.
Ant Prisco
Got it, got it, got it.
Frank Alvarez
I hate those things because I know part of what makes me hate them is I am. I know that you sit there like, I know and they don't.
Ant Prisco
Well, that's exactly part of that. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, you sit there like you're a horny little bastard. Like, you're just like, I have it.
Joe Santagato
Horny. Oh, okay.
Ant Prisco
I feel like that went.
Joe Santagato
Speaking of horny, did you guys see the video of two people getting caught making out super hard? Like Madison Square park or something?
Frank Alvarez
I think it was Central Park.
Ant Prisco
I don't know if I could play a video. No, I'm not. I didn't say I was gonna.
Joe Santagato
I'm just saying. Okay, that is the photo. And like, I will say this. They're going for it. They're going for it.
Ant Prisco
It looks like it.
Frank Alvarez
You know, it's like he's like, hunched. He's like leaning.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, we are.
Joe Santagato
We are like minutes away from a full blown.
Frank Alvarez
Really, like, just go and just fully.
Joe Santagato
I'll tell you this. I. I don't know if there's been a time in my life where I've had a back of the head makeout that hasn't resulted in full on coitus and. Yeah, in. Full on.
Frank Alvarez
In fumpting.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Insertion of the things in the back.
Frank Alvarez
The back.
Ant Prisco
Good for you.
Joe Santagato
The bag.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you heard back, brother.
Joe Santagato
The bag.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
When I'm like, in the back and I'm like, we're learning things about Joey today. Okay. No, no, no.
Joe Santagato
In the bag.
Frank Alvarez
The bag.
Joe Santagato
Not saying the bag is any helpful.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
You know what I mean? But, yeah, I mean, I will say this. Filming people making out, very weird.
Frank Alvarez
I just, I don't.
Joe Santagato
Making out in public, though. That's weird too.
Frank Alvarez
Yes, I, I. Because, because the Internet was kind of like divided where people were saying, like, they're weird, they should stop making out in public. And then someone's saying like, also, why are you recording them doing this and also pulling up? I'll tell you this. Thank God middle school Frankie, that there weren't these social media sites like this because I was, I was kissing in public.
Joe Santagato
Oh, you know What?
Frank Alvarez
You were gonna say I was kissing in public.
Joe Santagato
Were you? You were a makeout, like, on the train in front of people?
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Really? Yeah, I was never like that.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?
Joe Santagato
You, like, you were making out with girls on the train?
Frank Alvarez
I'm not saying it was like. Like. I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but it happened.
Joe Santagato
I would. I would, like, make out with my middle school girlfriends in the hallway. But.
Frank Alvarez
But how is that better than. Yeah, hold on, Joey. How is that better than a park bench?
Joe Santagato
No, no, I'm in the hot, like, between class. Like, not between. Not.
Ant Prisco
Not.
Joe Santagato
Like, when everyone's in the hallway, Like.
Frank Alvarez
Like, while classes is in session with less people in the hallway beforehand.
Joe Santagato
And I'd be like, just like, wait, like, five minutes and then maybe in the stair.
Frank Alvarez
I think that's more of a stairwell thing.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, okay. Hallway is different from Stairway.
Joe Santagato
Not in the hallway where everyone's there.
Frank Alvarez
Hallway is like, they look out the window and they're just like. There's Joey and No, you know, no Dominicana princess.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
So middle school hallway and bus.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, like, park. You know, I'm not sitting there. Like, it was like we were just. For the whole time.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I would make out in a park, but it would be at
Ant Prisco
night in an alley or something.
Joe Santagato
For sure. Alleyways.
Frank Alvarez
Yes.
Ant Prisco
Alleyways was big. I remember that.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, Alleyways is a big one.
Frank Alvarez
I just. I. I see both arguments here where people are just like, hey, if you're going this intense, pull it back a little. I think that's crazy, the intensity of the kiss. Because people kiss in public. I kiss in public. I have no issue with pda to a degree. Looking at the hand placement here.
Joe Santagato
It's bananas.
Frank Alvarez
This is. This is getting close.
Joe Santagato
I don't know how I feel about people, like, making out. That feels very intimate.
Frank Alvarez
But also, like, as a society that we have been like, I'm just gonna open my phone and record and walk up to these people.
Joe Santagato
That's crazy.
Frank Alvarez
That's bananas.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, that's weird.
Frank Alvarez
Like, allow me to help you off of that high horse that you've been riding.
Joe Santagato
I think that if you're gonna be making out, you either have to be in, like, a dark bar slash cocktail lounge or, like, a club. But if you're just, like, making out,
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna name some places at, like,
Joe Santagato
a rush, like a. Like a cafe. I'd be like, this is nuts.
Frank Alvarez
I'm gonna name some places. You give Me, your thumbs up, thumbs down on if make out is appropriate.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Okay. Let's start here. Nightclub, of course.
Joe Santagato
What else are we there for?
Frank Alvarez
That's a great point. I mean, to dance.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Enjoy yourself.
Joe Santagato
Not at. Not at 21.
Frank Alvarez
The zoo.
Joe Santagato
Making out at the zoo is nuts.
Ant Prisco
What animal are we by?
Frank Alvarez
That's a great. See, this is why. That is a great question. Flamingos.
Ant Prisco
Okay. It's a little better. How kind of a pretty bird.
Joe Santagato
What's the line of thinking pretty bird?
Frank Alvarez
Gorillas.
Joe Santagato
But you're still in public around a place where children frequent and you're making out.
Frank Alvarez
I would do it if it were around the gorillas because I'd be like, I'm gonna show them, like, what making out is.
Ant Prisco
You want to show animals a lot.
Joe Santagato
Just show them what's going on.
Frank Alvarez
What, Central Park?
Joe Santagato
No, I personally would not under a
Frank Alvarez
bridge in Central Park.
Joe Santagato
I'll get engaged there.
Ant Prisco
Which arguably, even more intimate. No, you're right. I don't know. That just came out. Well, not.
Frank Alvarez
Mr. Things are about to happen in the back.
Ant Prisco
That's true.
Frank Alvarez
It's the bag.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I don't know for me personally, like, and maybe. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and people feel differently, but like, just making out, especially with the hand behind the head, is like, once.
Frank Alvarez
Once the hands get around the ear, just go. I mean, not always as easy for people there. I mean, I. They appear to be at the beginning, middle, or end of a workday.
Ant Prisco
Clearly something went like. I don't know the situation between these two, but clearly something went well because they're in suits, like, work, like they're doing something. Something went well.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, aren't they lawyers?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, I think they're lawyers. I don't know the situation of, like, if this is like a not good thing, but.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, you think it's like a Coldplay concert where they're like, they got caught in the act.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. I don't know.
Joe Santagato
I mean, that has nothing to do with me, but I just think that making out in the park, regardless of your, you know, status, is a heavy move.
Frank Alvarez
Yes, I. Yes, I agree.
Ant Prisco
I.
Frank Alvarez
To, to, to a degree, I think that the intensity of the make out, like, I guess maybe even just making out. Like, I think we're at. We're at passionate kiss level now.
Joe Santagato
I even that, like, I think that, like, just given a kiss is like, like, is very nice and like, like appropriate. But for me, I just. It feels so intimate to be like, we're gonna make out and there's Gonna be, like, straight. I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I get it. I. I think I honestly have more issue with the person that felt like I'm gonna film. Wait until. Wait until the Internet sees this.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And it's just like, dude, you suck.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like, you. We have become just like, the, the idea of getting a tweet or a post to go viral has.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Become more powerful than, like, invasion of privacy.
Ant Prisco
Is it. Is it weird to say, like, I'd be fine with this? I think as long as they're not making noises. Noises like, like, you know, how do you make out? You know what I'm saying?
Frank Alvarez
It's like, make out with your hand
Joe Santagato
right now and explain.
Ant Prisco
You know what I'm saying? Like, making, like, a moaning kind of noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, as long as you're not doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I got you. Yeah.
Ant Prisco
As long as they're not doing that. I'd be like, oh, that's.
Joe Santagato
I mean, you have to. That's how you make out, right?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Joe Santagato
I don't make out silently.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, it's.
Frank Alvarez
We're learning a lot about Joey today, I guess.
Joe Santagato
What if you're gonna make out?
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I'm not sitting here. I'm not saying you're wrong, but, like,
Joe Santagato
you gotta throw some passion into behind a makeout.
Frank Alvarez
You can't just be like,
Joe Santagato
yeah, especially if my hands go in the back.
Frank Alvarez
If the hands in the back like that.
Joe Santagato
Like, yeah, I'm not even, like, wolf.
Frank Alvarez
It's not even like you're not even kissing at that point. You've just lined your mouths up to create the most intense amount of suction between two humans.
Ant Prisco
Respectful hand placement.
Joe Santagato
Me.
Ant Prisco
Like, these hands could be much, much worse spots for a public bench.
Joe Santagato
Really? That the dude's hand. Like, that's the most intense spot you can get besides, like, grabbing a boom or something.
Frank Alvarez
No, I think there are way more
Ant Prisco
intense you could get down there.
Joe Santagato
Oh, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
I just, I, I, I get, I get. And I don't want to drag these poor people. Like, I don't like that. The, the. I'm telling you right now, if I was a bystander and I saw someone do that to another couple and they get into it, I'd go up to the person that was recording of them, be like, you're fucking weird.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Like, why would you.
Frank Alvarez
Why? Like, who do you think you are that, like, you're the moral authority on this? And, like, you're going to. What? Like, what's the End goal with this, you're going to be proven right.
Joe Santagato
I honestly don't think there's a moral issue. I don't feel like I would. Like, I wouldn't see people making out and be like, those people are disgusting. I'd be like, I would never do that. Yeah, that's pretty much where my. The extent of my. Like, I'd be like, well, I wouldn't do that, but got like, you know, clearly they're horned and ready to go.
Frank Alvarez
I also think that there is, like, a lot more context needed. Like, if this is at a playground where there is, like, a bunch of young children playing.
Joe Santagato
I mean, they're in a park.
Frank Alvarez
I know, but, like, there's different. Especially with, like, New York parks. Like, they're not all, like, geared toward, like, young kids.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, they're not. If they're sitting on the top of a slide, then I'd be like, guys,
Frank Alvarez
they're on the monkey bars.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Yeah. That would be a little weird.
Ant Prisco
Kids waiting to go down. It's like, hey, hey.
Joe Santagato
You guys done?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
If they were doing this in a McDonald's ball pit, then I'd probably have a problem with it, honestly. But, yeah, it's fair. Like, do your thing. I told you. By the time that I saw a couple making out at a bar, super hard, and then the dude pulled back and he said, wait, who'd you vote for? And he left.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, just booked it.
Ant Prisco
How do you get that information? Via kissing. I.
Frank Alvarez
It must have been part of it before because they were making out for a while. It must have been part of it before.
Joe Santagato
And it was a darker bar, but they were at the bar, which I think is a wild place to be making out. Like. Like sitting at the bar.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. I'm not justifying it, but I think once you add alcohol into it, there is obviously less decision making there. Release your inhibition Feel the rain on your skin.
Joe Santagato
That's what it is. It lets you down a little bit. It was also a whiskey bar. So two drinks there.
Frank Alvarez
A whiskey bar, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Good night.
Frank Alvarez
Where?
Joe Santagato
Long Island City.
Frank Alvarez
Is that not the drunkest place on the planet where you can't get a beer, can you?
Joe Santagato
I don't know, but it's, like, supposed to be, like, it's a whiskey first.
Frank Alvarez
I understand. I get the concept, but, like, I'm not sure.
Joe Santagato
I don't think you can.
Frank Alvarez
If you see two people intensely making out at a whiskey bar. Yeah, that is a. That might be the. I don't even know how to explain it. Like, that is so intense. It's just. Am I not crazy for that? Like, that's. That seems like that's like a tequila bar. Like, whoa, these people are drunk.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I mean, they didn't seem like sloppy drunk or anything. They just seemed like super making out with each other. And then he was.
Frank Alvarez
I just feel like whiskey is one of those alcohols that gets you quickly there.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. It could definitely catch up to you and get you going for sure.
Frank Alvarez
You know what I mean? Like, so, like, it's not like you're going to be like a moderate buzz. Like you're either not drunk or you're drunk.
Joe Santagato
You're turned up. Yeah.
Ant Prisco
You know, well, I'm glad this kind of passion exists in the world.
Frank Alvarez
I fully agree.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I'm all about people making out with their. Their people super hard. I just personally wouldn't do it in pub for reasons like this too. I wouldn't want someone running up on me with a camera. That would be weird.
Frank Alvarez
I was like Joe Santigato spotted in the park making out.
Ant Prisco
It's. It's also unfair that you can't just like smash their phone on the ground.
Joe Santagato
You probably could.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
But I mean, you guess what? That video doesn't get out there.
Ant Prisco
If I take it, you get in trouble for that. But it's like, it's. I feel like you should be able to.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, like, that's the thing. If that guy should be able to
Joe Santagato
stood up, spike it.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
And this video never. If this guy stood up and took the phone, that video is never getting out.
Joe Santagato
I don't know.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, but then you get in trouble. It's just. You get in trouble.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I agree. I'm not going to, you know, encourage criminality. You know how I love to not be a cr. Criminal.
Joe Santagato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
I love it.
Ant Prisco
Well, that's good.
Frank Alvarez
Not like some people's dads here stealing limes.
Joe Santagato
You're guilty of your own crime.
Ant Prisco
Hey, man, I'm not gonna bring up your crimes. But.
Joe Santagato
But before we get to the rest
Frank Alvarez
of these crimes, I commit no crimes.
Joe Santagato
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Frank Alvarez
I do love a good meal. I love a meal. Love a good one.
Joe Santagato
You love a meal?
Frank Alvarez
I love a good meal. Oh, I made a good meal. You don't like a good meal?
Joe Santagato
Are you getting attached to the word meal?
Frank Alvarez
It's one of those things. If I say, like, five more times, I'm gonna be like, that's the weirdest word on the planet.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I haven't done that in a while. Where I got a word, I'm like, is this right?
Frank Alvarez
I. I love the word pumpernickel. Just a good word.
Joe Santagato
What even is it? It's. I know it's.
Frank Alvarez
I think it's a grain.
Joe Santagato
Like, it's like a.
Frank Alvarez
Isn't it?
Joe Santagato
I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
I think it's a grain, but pumpernickel. Just a great. I also. I'm not a big fan of the. The taste. It, like, is, like, super fine.
Joe Santagato
Oh, it's. It's like, gray.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, it's the name of, like, the type of bread. Yeah. I thought it was a grain.
Ant Prisco
Probably ground whole rye grain.
Joe Santagato
Yo, bread's so good, dude. I love bread, dude. I love bread, dude. Bread's so good.
Frank Alvarez
I'm such a little, like, if. If. Because. Because I've gone through different, like, dietary restriction phases and stuff like that. The two things that are the most difficult for me to not have or limit bread.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, cheese, I can. I can probably limit cheese.
Frank Alvarez
Really.
Joe Santagato
But, like, bread, I can't. I love bread.
Frank Alvarez
And if I'm gonna limit cheese, I'm doing. No, I'm not doing. Like, this is peanut shredded mozzarella.
Joe Santagato
I could do that if I'm desperate.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Really?
Joe Santagato
Yeah. I'd rather have the.
Frank Alvarez
I'd rather have nothing than not something I don't enjoy. And I'm trying to make work.
Joe Santagato
I mean, I would enjoy it.
Frank Alvarez
How do you know?
Joe Santagato
I've done it. I've had it before. Like, some of those cheeses.
Frank Alvarez
I just. I know what it is, and I know it's not cheese, and I'm like, man. But this just makes me miss more. It just, like, further highlights how good ch. Cheeses.
Joe Santagato
Cheese is really good. And it's, like, nasty, isn't it?
Frank Alvarez
It is kind of stinky and filthy.
Joe Santagato
It's, like, spoiled.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know if it's always spoiled. Like, some are like, blue cheese is mold.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. What the hell?
Frank Alvarez
Gorgonzola. Talk about good word.
Joe Santagato
I haven't had gorgon.
Frank Alvarez
That is a great word, dude. Espo's mom makes the best gorgonzola salad I've ever had in my life.
Joe Santagato
Gorgonzola just sounds like the name of a 10 foot, 500 pound man with one eye.
Frank Alvarez
It's. It sounds like if there was like an. A Greek version of the Power Rangers, what their Megazord would be called. Gorgonza. Gorgonzola. Come on.
Ant Prisco
Right?
Joe Santagato
I can't picture the Greeks doing that.
Frank Alvarez
Speaking of the back. Oh, they apparently invented butts.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Is that true?
Joe Santagato
Look that up, Google. So did Greeks invent analogue.
Ant Prisco
I believe the Greeks invented sex. But. But the Italians introduced it to women. I believe is what the thing was.
Frank Alvarez
Is that the joke?
Joe Santagato
Yo, hold on.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, is that the joke?
Joe Santagato
That was a crazy thing.
Ant Prisco
You just.
Frank Alvarez
Is that the joke?
Ant Prisco
That's the. That's what? That's the joke.
Frank Alvarez
That's what your dad. That's a joke your dad told.
Ant Prisco
That's the class.
Frank Alvarez
Your dad seems like he'd be pumped to tell that one.
Joe Santagato
But Italians did. Did Greeks invent anal.
Frank Alvarez
Did the Greeks invent anal sex?
Ant Prisco
We want to search this on this. Yes. Okay.
Frank Alvarez
This is his computer. No, you're trusting AI.
Ant Prisco
No single culture or person invented that practice.
Joe Santagato
This is.
Ant Prisco
Which would make a little more sense if you think about it. Actually.
Frank Alvarez
The Greeks invented Chex.
Joe Santagato
It's funny.
Frank Alvarez
Italians didn't do it. Gail.
Joe Santagato
It's funny to imagine the Greeks, like, inventing anal sex and then traveling on ships and getting to other countries and being like, you have to try.
Frank Alvarez
They show up in their togas with their grapes and wine and they're just like, wait, we got a couple things that we're showing you here. Democracy and anal sex and the Olympics. The Olympics. Democracy. Putting that thing in that butt. Right.
Joe Santagato
You know, I. I fully went my whole life believing that was true. I don't see.
Frank Alvarez
Like, that's all.
Joe Santagato
Maybe they perfected it.
Frank Alvarez
Like, this is an example of like a harmless thing to just continue to believe. Like, there does. It doesn't do anyone any bad if we just continue to believe the Greeks invented anal. Right? Like, you think someone's gonna come out and just be like, wait a second. It feels like the Mesopotamians actually did it.
Joe Santagato
It feels like a natural. Like you would think that the first people that are like, oh, we do this. It's like it's right there. You know what I mean?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Once you try the one, you'd be like, oh, maybe these other.
Frank Alvarez
You got another one apparently too.
Joe Santagato
Like, that one's got to be cool too.
Frank Alvarez
Wait, so how many do you have?
Ant Prisco
Have.
Joe Santagato
Right? And then. And then you or if it's, if
Frank Alvarez
it's guy on guy, they're just like, well, you only got one.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, what else am I gonna, what
Frank Alvarez
else am I gonna. Well, I mean, there's a couple, you know, there's, there's.
Ant Prisco
You always have two.
Frank Alvarez
The book ending, you know.
Joe Santagato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
But like, they're just like.
Joe Santagato
So it feels like how could the Greeks be the one that like, you know what I'm saying?
Frank Alvarez
Like, how could we go.
Joe Santagato
So much time.
Frank Alvarez
I think, Wait a minute. I think most history is traced back to the ancient Greece. Like ancient Greeks or the ancient Egyptians. Who came first?
Joe Santagato
Oh, I. Egyptian. I was of the full belief that the world was, to my understanding, like it started in Africa.
Frank Alvarez
Well, that's my understanding as well. So it's probably the Egyptians.
Ant Prisco
Oh, this is a common question.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
Egypt. Yeah. So it is Africa.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. I think they say that Africa is the cradle of human civilization.
Ant Prisco
Oh, by, by a lot.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Dude, I think that Africa is like the beginning of everything.
Frank Alvarez
I, I believe. Yeah, that's, that's what I have heard as well. So then, so you think Pana, you
Ant Prisco
think in all those years.
Frank Alvarez
Well that was before Pangea was before humans, brother. I think Pangea was like dinosaurs.
Joe Santagato
Well, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm saying like, they're saying like. Never mind.
Ant Prisco
Cuz they were like the center of Pangea. You're saying that's what. Yeah, it. So in all those years, was it the center of.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, yeah.
Ant Prisco
You thought that no one else decided to be like, what about the other one?
Joe Santagato
Wait, how, how long was it?
Frank Alvarez
It's like 30, 30, 100 BC compared.
Joe Santagato
What's BCE even mean?
Frank Alvarez
That's before.
Joe Santagato
Before Christ.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I think BC used to be before Christ, but BCE I think starts. Yeah, I think it's, it's something different now.
Joe Santagato
It's still bce. So neither of you have an answer? Great.
Frank Alvarez
It means something different. It used to mean before Christ and then anno Domini was ad but like BCE now means something different. Different.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. My question is, what does it mean?
Frank Alvarez
I gotcha.
Ant Prisco
Before Common era.
Joe Santagato
What's common era?
Ant Prisco
I believe that's just like the way
Frank Alvarez
you say it without, without being religious.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, some people, but I still don't know like numerically what it means.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, so BCE works. So if it goes from 3,000, it goes up down to zero and then from zero up to 20, 26. So we are in the common era now.
Joe Santagato
From zero to now. Yeah, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Zero to now is the common era. And before that it was BC so before. So 3000 wasn't the year 3000. It was 3000 before year zero.
Ant Prisco
Wait a minute.
Joe Santagato
I think you're making that up.
Frank Alvarez
No, I'm not.
Joe Santagato
I don't know what's going on.
Frank Alvarez
It was counting down.
Ant Prisco
The term BC itself appeared.
Frank Alvarez
We should probably talk on this podcast of ours.
Ant Prisco
No, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joe Santagato
See, this is something that, like, you know, I went to ccd, so it was all like, before Christ and after Christ. And I was like, well, I'm not gonna ask about years. It's like, what?
Ant Prisco
Okay, this is the answer. So BCE is the same as bc. It corresponds directly to bc.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Frank Alvarez
This is what's tough. When I say something that is right, you guys, like, you have to look it up.
Joe Santagato
Frank, you're right.
Ant Prisco
10%.
Joe Santagato
And I wasn't disagreeing with you. I'm saying, I don't know. I was asking questions. But bc. So they say that, like.
Ant Prisco
So.
Joe Santagato
So what? Then the. The Christians believe that Christ was born.
Frank Alvarez
They start to year zero. Well, they. I think that's when they start, like, figure it, like, now this is like our linchpin nexus event. Like, we're gonna start counting everything after this nexus event.
Joe Santagato
And everyone goes by that.
Frank Alvarez
Well, I think that it was established with the whole, like, Christmas thing in mind. And then other people have been like, you know what? We're just gonna call it something different, but we'll keep.
Joe Santagato
Like, other religions. Is my. Is my point. Like, they acknowledge the fact that it's 2020.
Frank Alvarez
You know, that's a great question. I'm not. I'm not as well versed with other religions. Like, record keeping or like, how they acknowledge years.
Joe Santagato
Where'd you type?
Ant Prisco
Do other religion. Do other religions go off B.C. also?
Frank Alvarez
No.
Joe Santagato
I have no idea. Man, oh, man. We're getting really.
Ant Prisco
I'm sure it all lines up in their own way.
Frank Alvarez
You know what? Something I learned that is cool. And I might have brought this up before, but There were originally 10 months to the year. That's why our last month is December and Dec. Deca is the prefix for 10.
Joe Santagato
Right.
Frank Alvarez
November, 9, October, 8. And then Julius Caesar was just like, give me two months in the best time of the year, and they're mine. That's why. Julius, Augustus, July and August.
Joe Santagato
That's fire. That's kind of crazy that we just let him get away with that.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, I think Brutus had something to say about that.
Joe Santagato
He was just like, you did what, dude?
Ant Prisco
And the 13 and the 32 other people probably had something to say about
Joe Santagato
it as well feels like what other 30, too?
Ant Prisco
I think he got stabbed 32 times right by. By the whole council.
Frank Alvarez
Did he? I thought it was Brutus. I thought this guy was just like, yo.
Ant Prisco
He was stabbed like Jon Snow.
Frank Alvarez
Really?
Joe Santagato
Just everyone in a line. This is.
Frank Alvarez
This is for so and so. This is. You think there was one guy who's just like, this is for those random two fucking months. Douchebag.
Joe Santagato
He was stabbed 23 times, 44 BC by different people on March 15th. This is so insane to me that, like, we know it. Do this.
Ant Prisco
This, like, learn anything.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I mean, this is AI. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt.
Ant Prisco
This is pretty. Like, it was. Yeah, it was 60.
Joe Santagato
What would a grain of salt that.
Frank Alvarez
It's AI.
Ant Prisco
This is pretty common.
Joe Santagato
Like, this is, you know, AI is not making it up. It's like pulling information.
Frank Alvarez
I know, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's pulling accurate information.
Joe Santagato
I mean, it's pulling it from, like, Wikipedia.
Ant Prisco
Only one of the wounds was fatal.
Frank Alvarez
Not helping yourself.
Joe Santagato
Wikipedia is good now, is it? Yeah, they, like, keep on top of it, apparently.
Frank Alvarez
You know what I like to do? I like to go to a random Wikipedia page and then try to think of another Wikipedia page and try to get there in the least amount of clicks.
Joe Santagato
I've seen that, you know, Wikipedia.
Ant Prisco
Speedrun.
Frank Alvarez
Is that what it's called?
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I like to do that. So, like, go to that one. The Assassination of Julius Caesar. See if you can get to.
Ant Prisco
Where do we want to get to?
Joe Santagato
Oh, where can we get hot dogs? Perfect.
Ant Prisco
So help me. Tell me if you see something.
Frank Alvarez
So we got to scroll down. I mean, there's got to be something about him. Go to the Julius Caesar page. And then adding the months.
Ant Prisco
Oh, and we get the 4th of
Frank Alvarez
July, and we can get to 4th of July, and then we can fucking. Definitely.
Ant Prisco
You made us. You made us waste a click because we were already on Julius Caesar page.
Frank Alvarez
Well, no, that was the death of Julius Caesar.
Ant Prisco
Okay, so now we got to get to July.
Frank Alvarez
This might include something about his fucking, like, putting the months and shit like that earlier life.
Ant Prisco
We don't care. This might take a little longer than I thought.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, it's a lot of reading, which is also not really good for.
Joe Santagato
First of all, this is the longest Wikipedia page I've ever seen in my entire life.
Ant Prisco
Where are the months, bro?
Frank Alvarez
I mean, on the left, there's like a. Like a table of contents.
Joe Santagato
This guy Julius Caesars did a couple of takes, didn't he?
Ant Prisco
Yeah, he did everything.
Joe Santagato
He seems pretty important.
Ant Prisco
Well, all right.
Joe Santagato
Well, this problem feels like this game's over.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Thing.
Ant Prisco
All right, you guys go. I got it. I'll figure it out. Yeah.
Joe Santagato
It's okay.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Joe Santagato
It's fine.
Frank Alvarez
God, I wish I could find old timey coins.
Joe Santagato
Probably could. Where just at an antique shop or something.
Frank Alvarez
No, but like that. I'm talking like an ancient Greek coin.
Joe Santagato
Like a shilling. Is that what they were called? No, I don't think so. Pirate money doubloons. I'm not versed. Have no idea.
Frank Alvarez
But it's still. You still. Haven't we self and played the new Assassin's Creed. We can go be fucking pirates again.
Joe Santagato
Is that out?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, baby, it's out. Might need to pop that bitch on props. If there's a. If there's a thing where we could both be pirates on a ship together. You want to do one?
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
I love being pirates on a video game.
Frank Alvarez
I know they were like, really actually not good people in history. But like, I'm cool with like the version of pirates that we have come to, like where they're just like rum drinking, like partiers.
Joe Santagato
So I think if you paid attention to any of those movies, you would see that they're also bad people in those two. Yeah, they're like pillaging.
Frank Alvarez
No, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I'm saying like walking the plank. Listen, I understand the atrocities of the pirates. You don't need to try to like, you know, bring me back down to reality. What I'm saying though is that like, I like the version of a pirate that is not a bad person.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
You know, was he. Was he a pirate? Technically, he was kind of like boys with the British.
Joe Santagato
He was a mate. He was. He was on the ship and fighting with a sword and stuff.
Ant Prisco
He's Davy Jones.
Frank Alvarez
He did become Davy Jones eventually.
Joe Santagato
Oh, did he?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, you didn't see Spoiler alert.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, my bad.
Frank Alvarez
Because he rescued his dad.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, his dad was Davy Jones.
Frank Alvarez
No, his dad was taken by Davy Jones's people. Who's the guy with the squid face?
Ant Prisco
It's Davy Jones.
Frank Alvarez
That was Davy Jones.
Joe Santagato
And then someone else can be him.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. If you stab him in the heart, then you.
Frank Alvarez
But like the heart is in the thing.
Joe Santagato
Oh, it's like in a box.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, it's not in him.
Joe Santagato
And then I get the squid face. Why the would I want that?
Frank Alvarez
I mean, you don't get the squid face, but you just go get to be like a up barnacle face looking.
Ant Prisco
No, I think the squid face was only if you neglected, like, your duties
Joe Santagato
or something, then they'd give you a squid face.
Frank Alvarez
I'm not opposed to having a squid face if I'm a pirate.
Joe Santagato
I'm opposed. Really. I mean, not that I want to be the other guys either.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, to be honest, if you're trying to be a pirate, you're going to be taken way more seriously if you got a squid face.
Joe Santagato
Just give me the peg leg and like a gun that shoots a lot of smoke out when I shoot it.
Frank Alvarez
It like a powder rifle.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I'd be cool.
Frank Alvarez
I. I just.
Joe Santagato
Man, I would love a musket right now.
Frank Alvarez
No, I don't think you would.
Joe Santagato
Pack it up.
Frank Alvarez
First of all, wildly inaccurate. Second of all, I'm not trying to
Joe Santagato
kill anyone with it.
Frank Alvarez
I mean, if you're going to have a musket, the point. Like, just as like a wall art, a piece of wall decoration, fire that.
Joe Santagato
I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
I mean.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, I guess that would be fun. Just a pack of.
Frank Alvarez
I'd rather have a real pirate's sword. Like the ones that are like curved, like Shakira.
Joe Santagato
What's that called? Shakira. Like, it's like, it's.
Frank Alvarez
It's got like Shakira, like an hourglass. You know what I'm talking about?
Joe Santagato
It doesn't have an. It's. It's. It's one way.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, but you. You know what I mean, though? What?
Joe Santagato
I would like a sword like Shakira.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, well, like any sword that has like a bend in it, you're gonna tell me that's not cool.
Joe Santagato
Like, what are they called?
Frank Alvarez
Sickle.
Ant Prisco
Same.
Frank Alvarez
Scimitar.
Joe Santagato
Scimitar, yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Like what they had in the mummy where it's like that and then it's just a. Like a half. Yeah, yeah, that would be cool.
Joe Santagato
I kind of like that. I like when people like scimitar with s. Yeah, I got it.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, that's not what I was thinking.
Ant Prisco
Maybe sword.
Joe Santagato
It's like the ones from Aladdin.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, I don't know that one. That one. That first one.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, that's the one, brother.
Frank Alvarez
That's terrifying. Could you imagine seeing someone riding, running, anything at you with that in hand?
Joe Santagato
That's an Arabian sword.
Frank Alvarez
What was the sword that, like, they used in the mummy where it was like a. It. Was it a sickle? Is that the one that. I'm thinking.
Joe Santagato
I don't know.
Ant Prisco
It's not a sickle, is it?
Joe Santagato
Not that one.
Frank Alvarez
No. The guys. The. What are Their names? The guys that were on the horseback that were, like, protecting the tomb.
Ant Prisco
The Magi.
Frank Alvarez
The Magi? Yes.
Joe Santagato
God.
Ant Prisco
Universal. The Mummy.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, yeah. That's why he knows that's a great ride. Is it?
Joe Santagato
It is.
Frank Alvarez
I don't think I've ever been. It's kind of like that. Like the fourth one.
Ant Prisco
This one?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, kind of like that.
Joe Santagato
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Ant Prisco
Looks like one. Oh, a little more.
Joe Santagato
What the hell is that?
Frank Alvarez
Dude, swords are fucking rad, dude.
Joe Santagato
Swords are cool.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, there it is.
Joe Santagato
Oh, those things.
Ant Prisco
This?
Joe Santagato
Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.
Frank Alvarez
Cool as hell.
Joe Santagato
I will say it doesn't look like Shakira.
Frank Alvarez
You know what I mean? That's the curvature to it. It was a joke.
Ant Prisco
If you like, this way kind of does.
Frank Alvarez
All right. Those are cool. That's a cool sword.
Ant Prisco
Dude, it doesn't look very effective.
Frank Alvarez
Why not?
Joe Santagato
What do you mean?
Ant Prisco
Because I feel like it's just.
Joe Santagato
I mean, not against someone with a gun.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. You ever see Indiana Jones?
Frank Alvarez
Jones. Love Indiana Jones. He has not seen Indiana.
Joe Santagato
I've never seen Indiana.
Frank Alvarez
We've gone over this ant.
Ant Prisco
Sorry.
Joe Santagato
What's, like, the best one?
Frank Alvarez
Raiders of Lost.
Ant Prisco
First one.
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
And then the third one.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, yeah.
Joe Santagato
Does it hold up? Or am I gonna be like, bro,
Ant Prisco
I have no idea.
Frank Alvarez
Raiders Lost Ark is incredible. It holds up forever. Because it's set in the 40s, so it's not like. It's like. Like the 80s where it's like. This is kind of aged out.
Joe Santagato
Right, Right.
Frank Alvarez
You know, it's set in the 40s or the 30s. Before the Nazis. I think it's right before the 30s.
Joe Santagato
Huh?
Frank Alvarez
There are Nazis in the movie. That's why.
Joe Santagato
No, I figured. I forgot about that.
Ant Prisco
They find an ark. There's a book. I think there's a cool book in it, so.
Joe Santagato
Love a good book.
Frank Alvarez
The Ark of the Covenant. Dude, just. Just go home and watch it. Like, you're being kind of like a prick at this point for not watching it.
Joe Santagato
What have I done?
Frank Alvarez
Oh, oh, oh.
Joe Santagato
I just haven't seen it.
Frank Alvarez
I know, but, like, you, like, haven't seen stuff. Yeah, but, like, at this point, we've talked about it enough that, like, just do it.
Joe Santagato
Yeah. That's not convincing.
Frank Alvarez
It's a great movie. It's.
Joe Santagato
I would.
Frank Alvarez
Piece of American Pat. I'm. I'll text Nicole and be like, get this guy to fucking watch.
Joe Santagato
You know what?
Frank Alvarez
That's. That's.
Joe Santagato
You know, that's a better route. I'm sure you can convince Nicole to watch.
Frank Alvarez
I'M sure. I guarantee. I guarantee she has seen Indiana Jones.
Joe Santagato
She may have. I don't know.
Frank Alvarez
I'll watch one of these movies that you like that I've never seen, and then you watch a movie that I like that you've never seen.
Joe Santagato
I don't even need you to do that. I want you to just watch what you want to. And I also don't even. Can't even think of a movie that would be like that because I. I'm
Frank Alvarez
well versed in movies.
Joe Santagato
That is true. You have seen everything.
Frank Alvarez
That's not true.
Joe Santagato
What have you not seen? That's, like, a popular movie.
Ant Prisco
Recommend a book for him. He has to read.
Frank Alvarez
No, you got a better chance of hell freezing over. That's not. That's not true. I'm reading right now.
Joe Santagato
What are you reading?
Frank Alvarez
Comic books. And I'm reading a book on, like, Marvel stuff, but it's not comic books. It's a. I'm not getting into this. Trying to think of a popular movie that I haven't seen that people just been like, what the hell?
Joe Santagato
Is there one you have?
Ant Prisco
I don't think so.
Joe Santagato
You're also, like, a huge movie guy.
Ant Prisco
Yeah, like, I've seen. I've seen movies.
Joe Santagato
Keith's seen everything, too.
Frank Alvarez
Keith is one of those people that I think legitimately has seen most of what has come out.
Joe Santagato
He literally will be like, yo, you got to watch this movie. And it's just like, I have never heard of anyone in it.
Frank Alvarez
I still haven't watched Oppenheimer.
Joe Santagato
Me neither. I haven't seen Barbie.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I watched Barbie. I liked it. I enjoyed it.
Joe Santagato
Haven't seen a lot of popular ones.
Ant Prisco
I haven't seen either of those. I thought we were talking a little more like Indiana Jones.
Joe Santagato
Well, yeah, I am. I'm thinking of, like. Like, if you haven't seen, like, wizard of Oz or the Sandlot.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, I've seen Wizard of Oz. I've seen it. I mean, you're just gonna go over,
Joe Santagato
have you seen the Sound of Music? Yes, I saw it, too. It's. It's whatever. I don't care.
Frank Alvarez
It's. I've not seen Citizen Kane.
Ant Prisco
No, these are too old. These. I didn't mean that.
Joe Santagato
I've seen Citizen Kane. Actually. It's too.
Frank Alvarez
That's one of those things that, like. It's like, you got to go, most pop. Yeah. Most popular movie. Because if you go, like, best movies of all time, like, no, I haven't seen this, like, French new wave movie from 1960.
Joe Santagato
I don't like Shawshank. Duh.
Frank Alvarez
Have you seen any James Bond movies?
Joe Santagato
Yeah, but I don't remember which ones.
Frank Alvarez
I haven't seen the newer ones I started watching.
Joe Santagato
Go Back to the top. Let's see which is the first one we haven't seen.
Ant Prisco
Okay.
Joe Santagato
I've seen all these. Seen Schindler's List I haven't seen.
Ant Prisco
I don't know what that is, but that's one. That one's too old.
Frank Alvarez
I'm 12 angry men. I've seen.
Joe Santagato
That sounds familiar, but I may be confusing with something else.
Frank Alvarez
Good, the Bad, the Ugly. I've not seen all, like those.
Joe Santagato
That's Clint Eastwood, right?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, those, like, spaghetti westerns. I've never seen those.
Joe Santagato
I've seen it, but not, like, in its entirety.
Frank Alvarez
And I was like, I cannot remember it.
Joe Santagato
Damn. I've seen a lot of these, now that I think about it. I don't.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah, they're the most popular movies in the. For a reason 7.
Joe Santagato
It's a Wonderful Life, Silence of the Lambs, Saving Private Ryan. I've never seen the samurai movie.
Frank Alvarez
I've never seen Seven Samurai. But I want Private Ryan I also
Joe Santagato
didn't see until, like, three years ago.
Frank Alvarez
That's a. That's an intense movie. Yeah, that's one of those that, like.
Joe Santagato
Oh, we're getting into ones I have not seen. Life is beautiful. No idea. City of God. No idea what that is.
Frank Alvarez
I don't think I've seen City of God.
Joe Santagato
This is bad. Back to the Future. Haven't seen any of them.
Frank Alvarez
That's a.
Joe Santagato
You can.
Frank Alvarez
You could watch the first and the second. The third. Yeah, you can.
Ant Prisco
Third one's Cowboys. That's cool.
Joe Santagato
Kill Bill.
Frank Alvarez
Love Kill Bill.
Joe Santagato
I've seen it. I haven't seen that.
Frank Alvarez
Spirited Away anime.
Ant Prisco
Second one is.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, that. No. So that's a whole bloody affair.
Joe Santagato
They.
Frank Alvarez
They re released it last year and, like, they made the two movies into one.
Joe Santagato
Oh, yeah.
Ant Prisco
It's the whole thing. You Kill Bill.
Frank Alvarez
One and two are incredible.
Joe Santagato
Parasite is so good. Parasite. I just watched it again recently.
Frank Alvarez
I've not seen the Pianist.
Joe Santagato
Me neither. I'm not into, like, that. Is that a Brody?
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Joe Santagato
No, I'm not.
Frank Alvarez
I've also not seen the. The Brutalist. What's him. And Winning for ist movies.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, he loves Ist. Never seen Whiplash. American History X. You watch that recently? It's crazy. Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
You would like Whiplash. It's. It's fun.
Joe Santagato
It's just.
Frank Alvarez
It's just J.K. simmons scrambling the. Out of Miles Teller.
Joe Santagato
Hell yeah. Nothing I love more than than across
Frank Alvarez
the Spider Verse and Into the Spider Verse are two of my favorite movies.
Joe Santagato
Django. Unbelievable movie.
Frank Alvarez
Usual Suspects is good. A little. Yikes. But good.
Ant Prisco
Oh, you ever see Alien?
Frank Alvarez
Oh, have I seen Alien?
Ant Prisco
I'm always really good.
Frank Alvarez
Alien and Aliens are really good. I haven't seen three. Or Resurrection.
Joe Santagato
Fifteen of those.
Frank Alvarez
No, there's not that many.
Joe Santagato
No.
Ant Prisco
Well, there's a lot of aliens.
Frank Alvarez
You can watch them in a weekend. There's Alien Aliens, Alien three, Resurrection, if you count the Alien versus Predator. And then there's like Prometheus.
Joe Santagato
Wally's up here at 57.
Frank Alvarez
What a fucking great movie.
Joe Santagato
I just watched that recently for the first time. It's good.
Frank Alvarez
Really?
Joe Santagato
Yeah. First time I've ever seen it.
Frank Alvarez
Oh, man, I love it. So, like. And, like, got me pissed off though, at humans.
Joe Santagato
Just like whoever was with Wally was pissing me. It was making me very sad.
Frank Alvarez
Raiders, the Lost Ark. There you go, number 62. I haven't seen the new Dune movies. Dune part one and part two.
Joe Santagato
I saw one.
Frank Alvarez
I just.
Joe Santagato
And it's very Sandy.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah.
Ant Prisco
Too sandy for me.
Joe Santagato
It's very Sandy. It's very sci fi.
Ant Prisco
Oh, for sure.
Joe Santagato
Glorious bastards. Well, it could be my favorite movie.
Frank Alvarez
A lot of. A lot of, like, modern sci fi is built off of Dune and those original books.
Joe Santagato
Wow. Like, that makes sense. I mean, it's like Sandy.
Frank Alvarez
Like everything. Star wars literally, like the same. They call it in Dune spice, and then they call the same thing in Star wars spice. Like, it's like the drug.
Ant Prisco
Have you ever seen the Shining?
Joe Santagato
Yeah, it's great. I've seen it Mad Times. Oh, the Great Dictator. I actually watched that.
Frank Alvarez
You watched the Great Dictator?
Joe Santagato
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
Dude, when the. Did you watch the Great.
Joe Santagato
I saw a clip of it once and then I saw that they had it on hbo. So I was like, I'm gonna watch.
Frank Alvarez
Watch it, Coco.
Joe Santagato
Holy great movie. Good Will Hunting have beat that movie up in the last four years.
Frank Alvarez
Toy Story. I mean, I've seen that more than I can admit.
Joe Santagato
Braveheart. Low key.
Ant Prisco
I might have seen Braveheart because of my dad. Like, I'm not kidding.
Joe Santagato
No, that generation loves Braveheart, brother.
Frank Alvarez
My dad had the. The. The two VHS thing and played that movie a lot. I remember being young and being like. Like, are they showing their dicks? Oh, and at the end, and they were.
Ant Prisco
They were showing their this and the Patriot.
Frank Alvarez
That is such a. Your dad movie.
Joe Santagato
The Patriot, I think was. I can't remember it, but I remember watching it being like, oh, God, that was cool.
Frank Alvarez
We Every family has that one, like, dad movie that they watched way too early.
Joe Santagato
Mine was Independence. Not Independence Day. Armageddon. No, no, no. In Deep Impact.
Frank Alvarez
Mine was Full Metal Jacket. I saw that as, like an 8 year old, and I was just like, huh. Oh. Huh. You know, I was watching that and
Joe Santagato
my mom was in the room, and then when that dude blew his head off, she was like, this is dumb.
Frank Alvarez
Yeah. I mean, and then it gets also bad after that when they go to Vietnam.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, it's not great.
Ant Prisco
Yeah.
Frank Alvarez
All right, well, Joker, Toy Story. Yo. Toy Story 3 might be the best toy story of the all.
Ant Prisco
Lotso hugging bear.
Joe Santagato
I don't know what that is. Oh, oh.
Frank Alvarez
I was about to. Now we're getting. See, like, we're getting like, Lawrence of Arabia, the apartment.
Ant Prisco
Yeah. But then we're back, though. It's like, Heat good.
Frank Alvarez
Scarface is good. Reservoir Dog's good.
Joe Santagato
Up. That tore me to shreds, bro.
Frank Alvarez
There's like a lot of those old Billy Wilder movies like Double Indemnity and stuff that I haven't seen. Just because I. I'm like, it's not my job to watch stuff like that.
Ant Prisco
And no, it.
Frank Alvarez
You know, like. Yeah, I could see, like, people being like, well, I. I'm a movie reviewer for a living, so I need to have seen Amelie.
Joe Santagato
Yeah, well, Clockwork Orange, you've seen that, of course.
Ant Prisco
Fair enough.
Joe Santagato
There we go, folks. I mean, that is all we have for today's episode.
Ant Prisco
I don't know.
Joe Santagato
We just went through a movie list for the last 10 minutes.
Frank Alvarez
I don't know why, but we go crazy. We started with me, respectfully getting pissed on, and then now we're ending with movies.
Joe Santagato
It's never ending.
Frank Alvarez
Never.
Joe Santagato
Where can they find you, Frank?
Frank Alvarez
The Frank Alvarez? All over social media and at the Basement Yard. All over social media. And like we said earlier, if you're coming to any of the shows, the basement yard.com submit, send in your pictures, let us know we're really excited to get back after it. And then patreon.com somebody's been yard.
Ant Prisco
And you find me at Ant Prisco on Instagram.
Joe Santagato
You guys can follow me at Joe Sanigato. You can follow the show on Tick Tock and Instagram at the Basement yard. And that is all. See you guys next time.
Hosts: Joe Santagato & Frank Alvarez (with Ant Prisco)
Date: August 10, 2026
In this episode, Joe, Frank, and Ant tackle the highly debated topic of "making out in public," dissecting a recent viral video of a couple heavily making out in a New York City park. But, true to style, the conversation dives deep into everything from dog behavior (and dog pee etiquette) to bodily functions, societal norms, ancient history, sword preferences, and a passionate movie debate. Expect friendly arguments, wild tangents, and some classic Basement Yard absurdity, all delivered in their signature, no-holds-barred tone.
Frank wakes up tired and debates caffeine intake...only to get derailed by Joe's story of almost being peed on by a dog in his elevator.
Comedic banter about dog humping, dominance, and whether being humped by a dog is a compliment.
Pissable legs: the odd logic of receiving canine affection/humiliation
Canine pee rituals – "It's like their newspaper."
What if your dog pees on someone in an elevator? The etiquette role-play
Dog urine and lawns: why does pee kill grass?
Switzerland starts fining people for not "cleaning up" dog pee
Public urination – is there a double standard?
Frank's emergency car-pee stories
Peeing the pants curse
Why is it harder to pee your pants than (ahem) poop them?
Salt intake, sunflower seeds, and Frank's 'pee placebo'
Are humans just 'meat machines'?
Main Themed Segment
A Central (or Madison Square) Park couple is filmed making out intensely – is this normal, or crossing a line?
Consent, privacy, social norms
When is PDA appropriate? Does age, alcohol, or location affect perception?
Final consensus:
Musings on bread, cheese, and 'pumpernickel'
Did the Greeks invent anal sex? (And other ancient history)
Calendar months and Julius Caesar trivia
Wikipedia speedrun challenge
Discussion: swords, pirates, and favorite weapons
Classic movie catch-up and "dad movies"
After laughing their way through public animal behavior, bodily control, hypotheticals on social etiquette, philosophical diversions about human anatomy, historical trivia, and ultimately, debating the appropriate contexts for making out in public, the crew wraps up with a chaotic but relatable look at pop culture blind spots and the movies they've missed. All the while, the tone remains light, irreverent, and conversational – a perfect encapsulation of why Basement Yard fans keep tuning in.
Summary by: The Basement Yard AI Recapper
(For fans, by fans. Skip the ads, skip the chaos – but not the fun.)