1: Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, February 11 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, February 11 [Vault]

Date: February 11, 2026
Cast: Bert, Jeff, Jessica, Debbie, Angela
Podcast Theme: Authentic, funny morning radio with genuinely personal stories, real-life dilemmas, and listener calls.

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Overview:

Main Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show features two major topics: a hilarious (and surprisingly in-depth) exploration of World of Warcraft addiction and interventions, followed by a candid and sympathetic discussion about debt, commitment, and relationship boundaries. As always, the team combines humor with heart, letting listeners in on their own banter while tackling real audience dilemmas.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. World of Warcraft: Pantless Gnomes, Griefing, and Digital Dramas

[01:24 – 15:21]

A. WoW Addiction and Relationship Impact

• The hosts riff on the addictive nature of World of Warcraft (WoW), joking about Bert’s inability to properly gear his gnome character (“couldn’t get pants on his gnome”).
• They reference a listener, Holly, whose boyfriend is so “consumed” by WoW that it’s affecting their relationship.
  • Jeff: “This girl Holly called us up and she said that her relationship is deteriorating because of this game. Her boyfriend is on it all the time. Everything else in their life is fine. But he's just consumed.” (04:03)

B. The Griefing Mission Conundrum

• The show brainstorms pranking Holly’s boyfriend by sending a “WoW assassin” to harass him in-game in hopes he’ll quit and pay more attention to his relationship.
• A listener/gamer (“Allison” a.k.a. Debbie’s husband) calls in, schooling the team on “griefing” — repeatedly killing or harassing a player so they quit out of frustration.
  • Debbie: “You can pretty much make their life really, really difficult and really, really annoying...He and a group of friends...group together and kill them over and over and over until the guys get so angry they don't want to play anymore.” (05:03)
  • Bert: “It's called griefing.” (05:40)
• Key insights into WoW culture:
  • Griefing is most effective with a large group.
  • If the target switches characters or servers, you need “inside information” (from the girlfriend) to track his alts.
  • Success requires persistence and a big enough group to maintain constant pressure.

C. Funny, Memorable Moments

• Pants & Gnome Jokes:
  • “You couldn't get pants on your nose.” – Jessica (01:45)
  • “Can your husband loan me some pants?” – Bert (08:50)
• Geeking Out:
  • “I like use of the word cross server. Yeah, I can handle a cross server assassination no problem.” – Bert (10:05)
• Name Game (Assassin Alias Brainstorming):
  • “And I'm not exactly sure what that is yet. I'm sure you and your—no, it's World of Warcraft.” – Jeff (10:57)
  • “There's no better assassin than Boris.” – Bert (10:32)
• Real Life WoW Fallout:
  • Debbie reveals, “My brother's wife is leaving him this morning because of his game.” (13:10)

D. Notable Quotes

• Bert: “If they're looking for something to do, there's no integrity. Perhaps they could go outside and enjoy this ball of fire in the sky called the sun.” (14:24)

---

2. Listener Dilemma: Debt, Commitment, and Marriage

[16:51 – 28:17]

A. Caller Story: Mixing Money, Love, and Legal Ties

• Angela (Caller): Has been in a five-year relationship, has a child with her partner, but isn’t married as her partner doesn’t want to commit. He is in debt ($30,000) and expects her to help pay it, considering it “their” debt—they both contributed at different times.
• The cast challenges and unpacks the tension between financial responsibility and relationship commitment.
  • Jessica: “I'm fascinated by people who live a lifestyle in which they are committed...but yet, because you have not signed a legal document, then all of a sudden, you're really not committed.” (18:29)
  • Jeff: “This is the one thing that I just love where people say they're afraid to commit, but then they have a baby.” (18:48)

B. The Trust and Leverage Debate

• Is financial (or marriage) leverage healthy in a relationship? The cast unanimously advises against “guilting” someone into marriage using money or debt.
  • Angela: “He can't make demands of you that you can't make of him.” (20:52)
  • Bert: “Like, what woman is going to be happy with that marriage ever?” (20:45)

C. How Much of the Debt is ‘Hers’?

• Angela feels about half is hers, due to periods where she wasn’t working (e.g., maternity leave).
  • Caller: “I feel like I owe probably some of it...just not all of it.” (17:23)
• The hosts and callers agree: Only pay “your” share until there's a true legal partnership.
  • Jessica: “Find out what your debt is, pay it, and then save the rest.” (27:45)
  • Bert: “I wouldn't spend any money on bailing him out of the debt. I would maybe put a token toward it.” (28:04)

D. Financial Windfall & Ethical Dilemmas

• It’s revealed Angela got a $50,000 settlement (from a car accident injury); her partner expects her to use it to clear the entire family debt.
  • Caller: “I mean, it was close to 50,000.” (23:45)
  • Jeff: “So he's looking at it and he's saying, now, finally, we as a family unit, can get out of all of this debt. If you apply your 50 grand...” (24:46)

E. Fear of Commitment vs. Greed:

• Angela’s partner refuses marriage due to fear she’ll “take all his stuff”, yet expects her to risk her money.
  • Caller: “He won't make any kind of commitment with me because his fear is that I'm going to take all his stuff... But yet you want me to put myself out there and say, well, you can take mine.” (25:01)

F. Memorable Moments

• Bert’s nose surgery settlement joke:
  • “Did your nose damage significantly hurt your appearance? Because that's worth money, Jeff.” (26:32)
  • “You got $50,000 settlement for a broken nose?” – Jeff (25:31)

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jessica, on marriage and commitment:
  “I'm fascinated by people who live a lifestyle in which they are committed...but yet, because you have not signed a legal document, then all of a sudden, you're really not committed.” (18:29)

• Debbie, on griefing:
  “You can pretty much make their life really, really difficult and really, really annoying... group together and kill them over and over and over until the guys get so angry they don't want to play anymore.” (05:03)

• Bert, on gaming culture:
  “If they're looking for something to do, there's no integrity. Perhaps they could go outside and enjoy this ball of fire in the sky called the sun.” (14:24)

• Angela (Caller), on trust:
  “I don't trust him because he's not trusting me.” (25:06)

---

Important Timestamps

• [01:24] — WoW intro, jokes about pantless gnomes
• [04:03] — Listener Holly’s dilemma; boyfriend addicted to WoW
• [05:03] — “Griefing” explained as a strategy
• [13:10] — Real-life consequences: Debbie’s brother’s marriage ends due to WoW
• [16:51] — Shift to caller Angela’s relationship and debt issues
• [23:45] — Angela’s $50,000 settlement revealed
• [25:06] — Trust and fairness in financial matters
• [28:04] — Final advice: only pay your share, save or invest the rest

---

Tone & Style

The conversation is irreverently funny, often poking fun at themselves, but turns warm and empathetic when discussing real-life problems. The hosts use relatable language and encourage listeners to consider both emotional and practical aspects of relationships and life’s dilemmas.

---

Summary

In this episode, The Bert Show dives into both absurd and deeply real territory: From orchestrating a digital “hit squad” to break a listener’s boyfriend free from World of Warcraft addiction (complete with gnome jokes and “griefing” tutorials), to talking through the sticky entanglements of love, debt, trust, and when—or if—helping your partner financially makes sense. The hosts balance sarcasm and compassion, offering both good-natured ribbing for each other and sound (if tough) advice for listeners caught in complicated situations. Whether you’re giggling at gaming culture or grappling with relationship choices, this is morning radio at its sharp, heartfelt best.

Transcript

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[Jeff]

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[Jeff]

The Birch show so we got to talking about this video game World of Warcraft a while ago and this thing, I mean it sure sounds like from the outside looking in this can get pretty addictive pretty quickly.

[Bert]

Yeah, if you're simple minded.

[Jeff]

Jeff has been.

[Jessica]

He's just jealous because he couldn't get pants on his gnome.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Or a gun.

[Jessica]

Or a gun.

[Bert]

It sounds so creepy.

[Jessica]

You couldn't get pants on your nose.

[Bert]

You can't put pants on your gnome. I can put pants on my gnome if I wanted. Have a panid gnome.

[Jeff]

Seven time on Worlds of Warcraft It's a little bit too advanced for him. We saw him get killed by some boorish looking thing after you tried to put your sword in his butt.

[Bert]

I didn't.

[Jeff]

He did.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

I didn't poke his.

[Bert]

That's how you killed him.

[Jessica]

Well, what I thought was funny is watching him because we did off air see him fight this boar with his little pantless gnome and then I love the words given in Jim's mouth. I don't know how to swing my sword.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

I don't know how to Swing my sword.

[Bert]

Which should be easy considering I'm not wearing pants.

[Jeff]

In this World of Warcraft game. And again, we are just. We are simply amateurs talking about this. But people are spending hours and hours and hours a day on it. And you build a character and you try to get to different levels, you can actually pay to get to different levels. Also can actually hire people to play for you.

[Jessica]

Well, I think the little stuff like finding the pants and things that could get boring to a player that, you know, wants to do something more advanced, like the fighting, or know, searching on a quest for something specific. They. Yeah, they either have a family member. We've heard of people using their children to level up their characters, they call it. Or like Bert said, hire somebody to do it.

[Jeff]

So the idea was if you're, you know, if you. If you don't play World of Warcraft and you're not aware of the rules of the game, you know, back in the day when you played a video game, when your character died, you were done and you had to start the game over again, Right? Yeah. Those days are over.

[Bert]

And you had. Remember when you had three lives?

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And there would. As you become better and better at a game, there'd always be a point where you would have to get with your first life or else you would reset and start over. You know what I mean? Like if a Super Mario. If you don't get through level 4, 4 on your first Mario, screw that. Reset.

[Jessica]

Right.

[Jeff]

Those days are over. Now if you're in World of Warcraft and you're building up this character for years at a time and you get killed. I don't know, they have like this little ceremony for you where your little gnome type creature sort of fades out. Then you go to a cemetery. And then you start basically from where you were right before you died.

[Jessica]

You gotta resurrect. You have to go find your body.

[Bert]

Yeah. It's just like real life. You just gotta walk from the cemetery. You just walk from the cemetery to your corpse and you stare at your little dead pantless self and you're whole again. Yeah. And you push accept on the computer. And there you are. Hey, what's up? No pants. But I'm alive. Come on, boars.

[Jeff]

Which absolutely killed what I thought was gonna be a really, really fun storyline that we could have had on the show for weeks and weeks and weeks. And this girl Holly called us up and she said that her relationship is deteriorating because of this game. Her boyfriend is on it all the time. Everything else in their life is Fine. But he's just consumed. So the idea was find a World of Warcraft assassin in our listening audience, just send him up to level 42, kill dude, be done with him. And then Holly would have her boyfriend back. Well, we got a ton of emails from people going, it just doesn't work that way. It's never going to work. But I believe it's. Is it? Ashley. Allison.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Allison.

[Jeff]

Allison. Hi.

[Angela (Caller)]

Hi.

[Jessica]

Hello, Allison. How are you? Close enough.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

I'm good. Good. How are you?

[Jessica]

Good. I'm glad I didn't jump out of a plane today, but I'm good.

[Jeff]

Alison was one of the few that emailed us and said, you know what, I think there is something that might work.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

All right, Allison, let's hear what you have, because I would really, really like to pull the trigger on this.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Okay. Well, yeah, you can't kill somebody forever, but you can pretty much make their life really, really difficult and really, really annoying. And I got the idea because my husband actually does this to acquaintances of his. Basically, he and a group of friends have two targets that anytime that they see them online, they all group together and kill them over and over and over until the guys get so angry they don't want to play anymore. And that's basically. I mean, it's funny. Basically, it's funny.

[Bert]

It's called griefing.

[Jeff]

It's called what?

[Bert]

Griefing is called griefing.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

And in order for it to work to its fullest expense, you have to be pretty dedicated to do it often enough so that it becomes pretty much pointless for them to even log on because they can't do anything they want to do. And then sometimes when you die, you have to run a really long way to your corpse. And that gets really annoying. And so eventually they'll just be like, screaming, and I'm not gonna do it anymore.

[Jeff]

So we've had people suggest this idea before, but they did it in a way where they were only gonna recruit like one or two people that would go online. So what you're saying is the more in the grieving guild or whatever you want to call it, right. The better off we'd be. So if we got 30 people that were interested in being part time assassins at any time, their. Their assignment at any time is as soon as dude signs on and we already know his screen name and all that stuff, as soon as he signs on, it would be their job to find him out and then just harass the crap out of them.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Exactly that. That's exactly it. And if you have a large enough group of people. That means that there's literally no time that he can be on where somebody's not gonna annoy him.

[Bert]

It's a good point.

[Jeff]

Pretty much.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

So how I think it can work, I really do.

[Jeff]

How many people would I have to recruit for this to be a successful mission?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

I don't know. I mean, you can do it with as little as like six people that are just like hardcore gamers that are there all the time. But the more people, the better. I say just as many as you could possibly get. Because chances are this guy's in a guild. And so after a while he's going to want his friends to come defend him. So you got to be able to.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Like put up a fight.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

You know what I mean?

[Jeff]

See, that's exactly what I'm hoping happens. Because I mean, the way I'm hearing this happen is dude goes online and we have some of our assassins call up and say, look, it was an all out assault yesterday. The dude just ended up signing off. And then a couple of days later we check in with them and then they tell us that he got all of his guild fellows in on it. And then we create a war within some level of World of Warcraft to kill this guy off.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

That will totally happen. And you know what, you can also actually like record it so you can watch it later.

[Angela (Caller)]

Really?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Loved it.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yes.

[Bert]

Now what? What happens if he's not on that level that allows player to player combat?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

You can kill anybody no matter what level they are. I'm pretty sure that this guy is level 70.

[Bert]

No, I mean not level, but there's different.

[Jeff]

There's player versus player. There's player.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Yeah, well, that's definitely consideration. If he's not on a player versus player server, the only thing you can do is throw harsh words at him.

[Jeff]

He is basically. He is.

[Bert]

Throw harsh words at him. You're not wearing pants. Stupid gnome. He is gnome man.

[Jeff]

In fact, what I would like to do is can I send you the information about his character that I know?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And then you'll be able to tell me if it's possible to do this or not. But I do know he's on one of those pv.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Do you know the name of the server? Because that's a big factor too.

[Jeff]

I do. I just don't have it in front of me right now. But it has been sent to me.

[Bert]

Can your husband loan me some pants?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Well, that's basically all the information you need. If you know the name of the server he's on, anyone that's on that server can contact you or people that are really hardcore and really want to help you out can transfer from whatever server they're on. It's just. That's not free. So, you know, they'd have to be really hardcore.

[Jeff]

Becky was calling up, but her phone went out. Let me throw a question at you that I have zero knowledge on. She says won't work unless assassins know all his characters. What does that mean?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Well, that means that if he's got different alt characters, like several different characters, he could, like, easily log off of the one you keep killing him on, and then log on to one of the others. So basically, his girlfriend would need to tell us every. Every character name he's got, and then they can put all of them on their list and basically kill all of them, and then they'll really irritate us.

[Jeff]

Search them all out. I love it.

[Bert]

And what if he has multiple characters on multiple server things?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Well, then that's more of a chance for people in your listening audience to be able to be on that server and go kill him. I mean, especially this cross server. This guy won't know what to think.

[Jessica]

I like this woman's attitude.

[Bert]

I like use of the word cross server. Yeah, I can handle a cross server assassination no problem.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

[Jeff]

Alison, can we use you as our chief assassin?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

You can, but I no longer play, so it would be my husband who would be doing it. But I can talk to you because he won't talk to you. He's nervous.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Jeff]

We are going to need to assign you a better assassin name than Allison.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And I'm not exactly sure what that is yet. I'm sure you and your. No, it's World of Warcraft.

[Bert]

It's Boris. Boris is our assassin.

[Jessica]

Boris?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Bert]

There's no better assassin than Boris.

[Jessica]

There has to be a female assassin name like Boris Lena, Nikita, or, I don't know, something.

[Bert]

But our killers Russian?

[Jessica]

I don't know. They always are. In the bad movies.

[Jeff]

She sort of are Lara Croft, but you don't want to get your video games all mixed up.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

That's true.

[Jeff]

You don't have to come up with. I'm sure your husband, who's really into World of Warcraft, will come up with some. How many that will turn him on.

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[Bert]

How about Lucy?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Lucy.

[Bert]

Doesn't that seem violent?

[Jeff]

I got one. Abigail. How mean is that?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Abigail?

[Jessica]

I wonder if, like, people in Russia or. Because I was thinking of, like, some other, like, Anthony. Do they use American names as their assassination?

[Bert]

How about Melissa.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Melissa. That's an evil name.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it is. Don't we know it.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

All right, so let me do this. Let me find out more of the information on Dude's character, and I'll email it to you today.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And then we will start recruiting assassins to grieve him every time he comes online. And then Holly will eventually have her boyfriend back.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Sounds great.

[Bert]

It's not grieve. It's grief. Grief, grief.

[Jeff]

Grief him.

[Bert]

So just give him grief.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Exactly.

[Bert]

Hey, you Warcraft man gonna throw this ball of fire at you at your pantless nose? You got grief from me and all my guild.

[Jeff]

All right, Debbie, throw one at us. Why isn't this gonna work?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer here.

[Bert]

But that's your name.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Yeah. No, he. I mean, if he gets set up with it, he can go to Blizzard, record him. He can change his name again.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

You know, he can go to it.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

He can change his character over to a new server. And I mean, my guild, we have almost 300 people, so we. And most of them are. We wanted to turn around and gang up. We could take them out easily. You know, it's not about, like, you know, being the winner. It's about giving them a hard time. And the good thing about it is that we have somebody on the inside, his girlfriend, who can tell us if he changes his name or move server.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Or whatever. We can find him no matter where he is.

[Bert]

I don't know if you heard our assassin, our chief assassin, Beth, but we can go cross server and take him out. It's not about winning. It's about going cross server.

[Jessica]

These girls rock.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

You're never gonna get rid of them. A true dedicated WoW player is not gonna leave. I mean, my brother's wife is leaving him this morning because of the game.

[Bert]

Hold on a minute. What's that?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

My brother's wife is leaving him this morning because of his game.

[Jeff]

Really?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

It's ridiculous. I mean, she begged and begged him, and I had to chill out. I mean, you know, my husband was getting kind of, you know, mad at me, so I have been on it for like a month. But, I mean, my family's all on it. Like I said, we formed two guilds together. Serves over 300 members. And, Jeff, I even sent you an email and said if you were serious about wow that I would walk you through it and I'd help you get your pants.

[Bert]

I have an issue. I have an issue because in the part, you know, because obviously I'm married to Jessica. Jessica shops and they wanted 12 boar pelts for one pair of pants. And she explained to me that I can go to a different server and go to tv, DJ bore pants and get the same pair of boar pants.

[Jessica]

House o Boar.

[Bert]

Yeah, House of Boar pants. I could get the same ones for only four pelts.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Sweetie, I can make you some pants. Get in contact with me.

[Jeff]

Debbie, will all 300 of your guild family, would they be willing to help?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Oh, I'm sure they would. They're always looking for something to do.

[Jeff]

Because some I know are going to be so hardcore it's going to go against their World of Warcraft craft integrity.

[Bert]

If they're looking for something to do, there's no integrity. Perhaps they could go outside and enjoy this ball of fire in the sky called the sun. I mean like the real sun.

[Jeff]

Jeff, just don't be ridiculous. Now you're just being ridiculous.

[Jessica]

Don't be stupid.

[Bert]

Perhaps they could hop on that two wheeled vehicle called a bicycle and enjoy some good family time with those who love them in the real world.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Well, Jeff, I don't know if you kept it or not, but you do have my email.

[Bert]

All right, I'll look for it.

[Jeff]

Do you have it? Because if not.

[Bert]

I saved all the emails from people who wanted to give me my pants in case I emailed them.

[Jeff]

Debbie, will you resend one today? Because I want to send this guy's information out to both you and Allison.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Okay, I'll email you. No problem.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Yeah, we've been playing this game for like two years now. I've got all different kind of characters. I've got Horde characters. I got one named Dreadster. That's really wicked. I like playing the Horde too.

[Bert]

That's cool. We didn't ask.

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[Jeff]

Hey, Angela, you're on the voice disguiser. Good morning. How are you today?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

I'm good.

[Jeff]

Hold on. Voice disguiser's not on, dude. Unless her regular voice sounds really like a voice.

[Bert]

Really low page counter.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Can you count to five?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Either way it would be okay.

[Jeff]

Okay. I'd rather go without.

[Bert]

No voice disguiser is cool.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yeah, no voices, guys are fine.

[Jeff]

Okay, cool. All right, go ahead.

[Bert]

Bless you, child.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yeah, right. Basically, I've been together with the same guy for almost five years. We do have a child together.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

We're not married.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Marriage was brought up the first two years in our relationship. And then he kind of bailed out on the idea recently. But yet he is in debt and it's considered our debt to him. So I got this settlement and of course it's up in the air for me to pay it off. I feel like I do owe probably some of it because some of it's probably my debt. Just because at one point in time in our relationship, I didn't have a job for about eight months. And he did take care of me, even though I have no debt, I have no bills, but, you know, spending money. He took care of all that for me. And then of course, maternity leave I was out for too. So I'm thinking I owe him something, just not all of it.

[Jessica]

Okay, so I want to. I'm curious about why you guys had decided not to get married. What was the reason you said, yeah.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

That was not my decision because, I mean, recently, I definitely. I want some kind of commitment because, you know, I've been in this relationship for five years now and we have a child, even if it's buying a house together, something like that, some kind of major commitment and everything. He's pretty much skipped out on two brothers, too, and none of them are married.

[Angela (Caller)]

You would prefer to get married.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yes.

[Angela (Caller)]

Okay.

[Jessica]

I think where I'm getting at, I'm fascinated by people who live a lifestyle in which they are committed. They together for five years, they have a child together, they help. You know, he. Like you said, he helped you out while you weren't working, but yet, because you have not signed a legal document, then all of a sudden, you're really not committed.

[Jeff]

Yeah. This is the one thing that I just love where people say they're afraid to commit, but then they have a baby.

[Jessica]

Yeah, you're committed.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

You're committed.

[Angela (Caller)]

Sometimes that part's not planned.

[Jessica]

But they're together five years and have a child, so they're obviously committed to one another through the point.

[Angela (Caller)]

Yeah, I mean, there's definitely some commitment there, but that might not have been, like, the intention. The intention. And then you do your best after that.

[Jeff]

They certainly have.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

There's nothing binding. He could bail out at any moment, and then I would be the single mother struggling.

[Jeff]

Hold on one sec. Why the voice guys are just kicking? I don't know. You want to turn it off?

[Bert]

I don't control it.

[Jeff]

Are you there?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Yep.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Jessica]

Okay. Yeah. So. Okay, so you think because you're not married and not legally bound that you shouldn't have to pay any of this debt?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

No, I mean, I feel like I'm obligated to pay some of it since. Sure. Some of it is mine.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

All of it. Now.

[Jeff]

404741Q100. So how much of this $20,000 debt is yours?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Well, it's a little more than $20,000, but I'm thinking maybe around 15.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

But it's moving.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

We just moved out here, too, from a different state.

[Jeff]

Hold on. How much debt are we talking about total here?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Close to 30.

[Jeff]

30.

[Jessica]

Now, because I'm confused. What's going on? So is he asking you to pay all $30,000 in the debt?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

I mean, he.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

He considered it as being our debt. I consider maybe 15 being that, our debt.

[Jeff]

All right, so he's saying, look, here we are a family unit, and we're in this together, even though we're not married. We don't. They don't have a commitment. But he wants everything that married people share together. Financial responsibilities and everything. Yet he hasn't proposed to you.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Right.

[Angela (Caller)]

Well, if you really want to get married, why isn't this leverage? See, we get married, I pay the debt. We don't. I don't.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Well, I don't want to put that on somebody. I don't want to guilt them into it, because then it's going to just be an awful relationship at that point.

[Bert]

Yeah, that's not cool, is it? Like, what woman is going to be happy with that marriage ever?

[Jeff]

Like, knowing that he said yes.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

If you don't do this, you know.

[Jeff]

Only because you paid him.

[Angela (Caller)]

I'm just saying, like, I mean, he can't make demands of you that you can't make of him.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

He's not demanding that I pay it.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

You know, it's just strongly debt, you know.

[Jessica]

Well, I mean, I just, I'm still confused. So part of it is so you say $15,000 is. So have you told him, look, okay, I'll pay half. Half is ours. So let's work on that. The rest is yours.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

I have said I'll pay, I'll pay 15 and we'll see, you know, where things go after that point.

[Jeff]

So you're saying I'm willing to pay my part, but why should I be responsible for paying your part if we're not in a partnership together officially?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Right, but I haven't officially said that in those words because I don't want to put pressure on him to actually get engaged. I just said I'll pay 15 now and we'll wait to see what goes on before that. Because I mean, it's a good chunk of money that I have and I'm thinking about investing it other ways as well.

[Jeff]

It's the down payment on commitment. $15,000 now and I'll get the other 15,000 to you later. Hey, Jennifer, you're on Q100. You have some advice?

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Hey there. I'm pretty much in the same situation as far as not being married, having, you know, debt out there and pretty much he signed on everything, so legally it's his responsibility. But because I'm in the relationship and I'm committed, I feel like, you know, I'm there every day. It's just as much my responsibility to contribute as it is his. And I feel that it's really sad that she's putting money as a reason of commitment or non commitment. I mean, that's pretty sad as far as a five year relationship.

[Jeff]

Jana's looking at you shaking her head now.

[Angela (Caller)]

I don't know, I think she's warranted in being concerned about it because he hasn't committed to her. And like she said, I mean, she could take care of his debt and then he could take off.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

I'd be left a single mother.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

You know, struggling.

[Jeff]

I would not pay it.

[Angela (Caller)]

I wouldn't.

[Bert]

Maybe you take the big settlement or whatever that big Chunk of money. And you invest it smartly for your future and your child's future. But then you could contribute on a monthly basis a few hundred or $1,000 or whatever you can spare toward that debt as long as he does the same. And maybe you reverse. Well, maybe you reverse it. Maybe you say, I'll tell you what. If for the next 15 months, we can pay down 15,000 of this, I'll bring 500 to the table. You bring 500 to the table every month. Then I'll use some of these investments to pay off the rest of it. Make him. Make him, you know, do something first.

[Jessica]

Have we made it? I mean, because I still am. It's a little vague. Did we make it clear? Did you get a chunk of money now? And that's why this has come up?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Well, I mean, the whole marriage, as you came up before, I got the chunk of money, but the bills have.

[Jessica]

Because I think we've breezed over the fact that she got this huge chunk of money, and that's why this decision has to be made.

[Jeff]

We did breeze over that. I didn't realize that. So there. How much money can you say was. Was. Was given to you recently in whatever form?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

I mean, it was. It was close to 50,000.

[Jeff]

Okay, so you could wipe. What he's saying is you could wipe out the debt.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Of the family if you want. Right now. Okay, now it makes more sense. Kevin, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Kevin (Caller)]

Yeah, I wouldn't use the. I wouldn't use the thing to leverage him into marrying you. That's just a bad idea. And also, if you got 30,000 worth of credit debt, you need to hack that card in half. I mean, that's just ridiculous. Maybe, you know, like the guy said, make some monthly payments together or something. If you feel some of that debt is yours, that would be a great thing. But first thing, cut that card up. Get rid of that crap.

[Jeff]

I would absolutely not pay for his debt. There's just no way.

[Angela (Caller)]

It's a trust issue. I mean, at the bottom of this whole thing, it's a trust issue. You don't trust him to stay.

[Jessica]

And money, you know, the last caller talked about how money. Why would you put money in? Well, money is one of the biggest issues in any relationship. So it is a very important issue.

[Jeff]

And that money came to you, right? That didn't come to the both of you?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Oh, no, it came straight to me.

[Jeff]

So he's looking at it and he's saying, now, finally, we as a family unit, can get out of all of this debt. If you apply your 50 grand. Can.

[Bert]

Can we.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

But yet he won't.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

He won't make any kind of commitment with me because his fear is that I'm going to take all his stuff.

[Bert]

Can we ask how you.

[Jessica]

But he wants to take yours.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Can we ask how you.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

That's what I'm saying.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

But yet you want me to put myself out there and say, well, you can take mine. So now I'm like. Now I'm up in the air. So that's why you find that we don't trust each other. I don't trust him because he's not trusting me.

[Bert]

Can we ask how, like, did you come across this money through work? Like, is this a work related bonus or did you pretend to hurt your back when you fell down at a buffet or.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Right after I had my son, I was in a car accident and it broke my nose.

[Jeff]

Okay, you got a $50,000 settlement for a broken nose?

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yeah, I had to have surgery for a deviated septum.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna go out there and wreck my car today for a couple weeks.

[Bert]

You got $150,000.

[Jeff]

Get this thing all fixed and stuff and get money for it.

[Bert]

And I'm guessing yours is gonna pay a little more than 50 grand.

[Jeff]

I'll buy a new house.

[Bert]

That guy will marry you in a minute, Bert.

[Jeff]

Hey, Elizabeth, you're on Q100.

[Debbie (Guild Member)]

Hi. Yeah, if you have $50,000, I get where he would maybe want you to use some of. Let me tell you something. I've been in a similar situation, except I'm going through a divorce right now because of it. And he took on the responsibility while you were pregnant to be the provider, and then in that time where he needed his help to be the provider. Yeah, if you're making money and you're bringing in money. Yeah, but, man.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

It was for three months. In fact, when I was actually out on maternity leave, it wasn't while I was pregnant. I worked until, you know, the last month before I went into labor.

[Bert]

Did your nose damage significantly hurt your appearance? Because that's worth money, Jeff.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Yeah. Yeah, I do have a scar. See, it is a little crooked and kind of looking. I don't want to get into that.

[Jeff]

No, no, don't even respond.

[Jessica]

Don't you understand that he's being silly?

[Bert]

But that's fair because she's a different person. But anyway, then he started dating.

[Jeff]

Let me take one more call here. Good morning, Q100.

[Kevin (Caller)]

Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Jeff]

All right. How are you?

[Kevin (Caller)]

Hey, Man, I love the show. I listen to you guys every morning. I think you got to listen to you guys. I think for like, three years now, straight. 5:30. I don't think she should take. Because the credit basically is between them two. If she can determine how much she owe or how much, you know, she's in debt with him, he should pay maybe that much and leave it. But as far as paying his half of the debt, no, because I believe that he's gonna dip on her.

[Jeff]

And if he bails, then you got zero left. I mean, you can't have all the benefits of a married couple if you're not married.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I mean, I know it's gonna.

[Angela (Caller)]

Be hard to sit down and have that conversation with him, but you just gotta.

[Caller (Woman with Debt Issue)]

Just gotta do it.

[Jessica]

Yeah, it's an agree. I mean, that is what the number one reason a lot of couples get divorced is, because of money. And I think that if there's not an agreement or a system in place for you guys, obviously there's not. Then all of a sudden, you shouldn't just bail him out. So, yeah, I totally agree. Find out what your debt is, pay it, and then save the rest.

[Bert]

I wouldn't spend any money on bailing him out of the debt. I would maybe put a token toward it. 2,500 maybe, something like that. And then say, let's work on this together. And if we can get half of it gone in a year, then I'll consider paying the rest of it.

[Jeff]

The Burt Show.