16: Vault: Are women just as creepy as men?

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode 16: Vault: Are Women Just as Creepy as Men?

Date: May 15, 2026
Theme: A candid, humorous, and at times provocative look at whether women can be "just as creepy" (or "pervy") as men, focusing on reactions to young heartthrob Taylor Lautner, the culture of celebrity crushes, and societal double standards.

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Main Theme Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show hosts and their listeners dive into the question of whether women engage in the same kind of “creepy” or overly enthusiastic behaviors toward teen celebrities that men are often criticized for. Using Taylor Lautner as the focal point—whose popularity among women of all ages skyrocketed during the Twilight phenomenon—the hosts debate cultural perceptions, share candid social media reactions, and frequently test the boundaries of humor around "double standards."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Taylor Lautner Crush Phenomenon

• Listener Call-in (01:17): A young fan, a sophomore, calls in to express her love for Taylor and asks for an update on the show's Quest to Meet Taylor Lautner.
  • “I am so in love with Taylor Lautner. Oh, my goodness.” – (Caller, 02:10)
  • She believes it's destiny because she and Taylor share the same birthday (02:26).
• Update on Meet-and-Greet (01:48): Wendy (reporter/contributor) relays she got close but Taylor skipped press interactions, leaving her unfulfilled.
  • “I was literally probably 10ft from Taylor Lautner and he was right there looking hot.” – Wendy (01:48)
• Light mocking and encouragement from the hosts about the young fan’s romantic aspirations.

2. "Cougars" and Double Standards: Social Media Reactions

• Viral Video Talk (03:33): Bert posted a video tribute made by 40-year-old women (“cougars”) about Taylor Lautner—shirtless clips, flirtatious text overlays, etc., sparking a debate:
  • “Look, we’re 40 year old women but we don’t care. He’s so hot.” – Bert (03:42)
• Comments from Women (05:00): Bert reads Facebook comments from older women openly expressing their lust for Lautner:
  • “He is awesome, gorgeous and sexy.” – Judy Dickinson Murdoch, age 50 (05:00)
  • “Don’t care… it’s only illegal if someone tells.” – Katherine Arundale (05:35)
  • “Jacob is hot.” – Leanne Hamilton Lipinski (36) (08:22)
  • “Should be illegal for a 17 year old to look that hot.” – Loretta Ledford (08:24)

3. Comparing Male and Female ‘Perviness’

• Hosts Call Out Double Standards:
  • Bert: “If this was again a 40 year old man writing about Miley Cyrus, there would be some kind of like GBI agent knocking on his door today.” (05:35)
  • Consensus & Push Back:
    • Males argue that women’s "crushes" would be seen as predatory if genders were reversed.
    • Females on the panel contend men would “actually do it” while women just talk about it (04:51).
  • Kimmery: “Just admit that y’all are just as creepy as men and we can move on.” (08:49)

4. Testing Morality & Humor: Hypotheticals and Justifications

• Wendy’s Red Carpet Hypothetical (06:23):
  • “Wendy, in all honesty, you’re at the red carpet, Taylor Lautner spots you and says... meet me right here afterwards. Do you meet him?”
    • Wendy: “Oh, absolutely.” (06:33)
    • Kimmery: “And then he says… so you and I are gonna hop in the car, we’ll go back to the hotel and have a conversation.”
      • Wendy (uneasy laughter): “Yes.” (06:42)
  • Male Host/Contributor: “He’s 17 years old… a junior in high school.” (06:49)

5. Referencing Other Cases: Britney, Teachers, and Pop Culture Context

• Male/Female Celebrity Crushed by Adults:
  • Britney Spears—men in their 20s and 40s found her attractive when she was under 18, which is now seen as creepy (07:26, 07:48).
  • Comparison to real-life cases of female teachers involved with students (05:58).
• Perspectives on "Creepiness":
  • Male Contributor: “Women are nicer about it.” (04:47)
  • “Guys would actually do it. Women just talk about it.” (04:51)

6. Proposing a Social Experiment (09:04):

• Host Suggestion:
  • Female Co-host: “Create a video just like the video of Taylor Lautner. Just post it anonymously up there about some girl, the same age of guys and see the feedback …. call out the contradiction.” (09:04)
  • Bert: "I'll have Rhett work on it today ... like Miley Cyrus, those sort of seductive pictures..." (09:12)

7. Listener Reactions (09:56):

• Mid-20s Listener:
  • “I have two small kids and it grosses me out, all these women lusting after him. Because that's all I see him as, a Shark Boy." (09:56)
• Panel’s Solution: To keep perspective, only refer to Taylor Lautner as "Shark Boy" on the show henceforth (10:22).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I am so in love with Taylor Lautner. Oh, my goodness.” – Caller, Young Fan (02:10)
• “Look, we’re 40 year old women but we don’t care. He’s so hot.” – Bert (03:42)
• “If this was a 40 year old man writing about Miley Cyrus, there’d be a GBI agent knocking on his door today.” – Bert (05:35)
• “It grosses me out, all these women lusting after him. Because that's all I see him as, a Shark Boy.” – Caller, mid-20s mom (09:56)
• “Just admit that y’all are just as creepy as men and we can move on.” – Kimmery (08:49)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• 01:17–03:19 – Young fan calls in about Taylor Lautner; update on the Wendy meet-and-greet quest
• 03:33–05:35 – Discussion of viral “cougar” video and reading of Facebook comments from female fans
• 06:23–07:03 – Hypotheticals: would an adult woman go with teen Taylor if he invited her backstage?
• 07:26–07:51 – Comparing male fans' crushes on Britney Spears in the 2000s
• 08:49–09:04 – "Just admit that y’all are just as creepy as men and we can move on.” + suggestion for gender-reversed viral video
• 09:56–10:25 – Caller perspective: only seeing Taylor as Shark Boy; panel agreement to refer to him as that for perspective

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Summary Takeaways

• The show humorously but pointedly investigates society’s gender-based double standards regarding sexualization and “crushing” on underage celebrities.
• Both listeners and hosts admit to the existence of female “creepiness/purviness,” but debate whether it is equivalent to men’s, citing action versus talk, intent, and cultural stigmas.
• The Bert Show uses real listener input, social media reactions, and playful hypotheticals to explore the boundaries of acceptability, poke fun at current norms, and challenge their own audience to reflect on the contradictions.
• The episode concludes with a broader call for self-awareness about how celebrity adoration is filtered by gender, age, and culture.

Transcript

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[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

n the bird show.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Good morning, Kimmery. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

Hi, guys. I want to say that I love your show.

[Female Co-host]

Thank you.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

I'm a sophomore, but I've been listening since, like, seventh grade, so I'm one of your younger fans. But I was wondering, because I was sick last week, if you could give me an update on Wendy and the whole Taylor Lautner thing, because I'm a big fan of him.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Okay.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

We're engaged.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Where did you drop off? You knew that she was going up to Knoxville to try to meet with him, right?

[Caller (Young Fan)]

Yeah, I heard that she was gonna go, and then I didn't hear after that, so I didn't know if she got questions or.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Yep, drove up there, was all set, was on the red carpet really, really close to the stars. And they got out of the car so excited. But, yeah, he went right by and didn't do very much press, but was at the station right next to me. I yelled as much as I could, but couldn't get a question from, but I was literally probably 10ft from Taylor Lautner and he was right there looking hot.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

I am so in love with Taylor Lautner. Oh, my goodness.

[Female Co-host]

What'd you think about New Moon?

[Caller (Young Fan)]

I thought it was amazing. It's the best movie I've ever seen. And I had to warn all the

[Caller (Mid-20s Listener)]

people around me that I'm a screamer

[Caller (Young Fan)]

whenever I see him.

[Female Co-host]

And you saw a lot of him.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

Taylor Lautner and I have the same birthday, so I just think it's a Sign from God that we're meant to be together.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Destiny.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

And how. How old are you?

[Caller (Young Fan)]

I'm 15.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

That's right there. And he's 17.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

I love acting. So I'm planning to do a movie with him and it's all just gonna go uphill from there.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

That's using that secret right there. This just may have. I'd pull for you.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Without a doubt.

[Female Co-host]

Yeah, don't forget us when you become a famous actress though, okay.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

Okay, thanks. I'll keep you guys in mind.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

And I'm sorry that there's an old woman like Wendy trying to get in on your action.

[Female Co-host]

So old.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Well, you see, it's your destiny to be with him. So when Wendy went up there to try to get your man, it was never gonna happen because he's your destiny.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Right.

[Female Co-host]

Worry about it.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

I just want to make sure that he was doing okay. So I had to check in with Wendy.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

He was doing fantastic. That's all I've got to say in that hot gray suit of his. Yeah, he looked awesome. Better in person. So you go get your man.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

She's like, okay, I've heard enough, Wendy, thank you. It's great.

[Female Co-host]

I would love for her, I would love for that story to turn out. I would love for her to, you

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

know, she called us back and for

[Female Co-host]

years, oh my God, I was moving with them.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Yeah, you always do that as a teenager.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

While we're on the subject of Taylor Lautner and Twilight, you know. So I posted that video last week, right?

[Female Co-host]

Oh, you better online.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Of what?

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Yes, this was the cougars tribute to Taylor Lautner. So a bunch of 40 year old women put together this video and it basically says, look, we're 40 year old women but we don't care. He's so hot. And then as this video is rolling and it's all these different clips of Taylor without his shirt on and in different ads when he's looking all sexy and stuff like that and different shots of him in the movie without any shirt on at all. And then there's text over the pictures that says like mmm or can't wait to Christmas to open this.

[Female Co-host]

Are you legal yet or is it legal yet or something like that?

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

17 years old, appreciating the hard work

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

that you put in.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

And Jeff and I have maintained this that women are just as pervy as men are. We just want you all to admit it, that's all. That's all.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

We're looking for you guys to identify your, you know, deep seated jealousy in this issue.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

It doesn't have to do with jealousy.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

That's irrelevant. But the jealousy is irrelevant.

[Male Contributor]

All we want.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

I think that's really where it's coming from.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

It doesn't matter where it's coming from. Doesn't matter. It's just the fact that women are pervy about Taylor Lautner.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Well, guys are creepy about it.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

That's fine.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Women are nicer about it.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

I can admit to that.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

No, because guys would actually do it. Women just talk about it.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

I don't know that women would do it.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Let me read from my Facebook page some of the comments from these cougars that left Facebook page messages over the weekend. All right, Judy Dickinson Murdoch says what? He is awesome, gorgeous and sexy. Now, according to her Facebook page, she's 50 and she has two kids who

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

are probably in their 20s.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

50.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

She graduated from North Clayton High School in 1977.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Again, appreciating.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

It is possible that one of her children could have babysat Taylor Lautner.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Yes.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Like if you. Depending on how young she had her kids, that's mathematically possible.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Katherine Arundale writes, don't care, don't care, don't care. It's only illegal if someone tells. Oh, okay. If this was again a 40 year old man writing about Miley Cyrus, there would be some kind of like GBI agent knocking on his door today.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

It would be more threatening because the guy would actually do it.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

But a woman would do it too.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

I don't think so.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Look at all the women in the news the last couple of months. Like these teachers, they're hooking up with their.

[Female Co-host]

Kidding.

[Male Contributor]

They're going to jail for it.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Facebook fans at first talking about it,

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

but you're saying women aren't capable of it. I'm saying, watch the news, Wendy.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Well, those teachers were in love.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Wendy, answer this question.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

That was a joke. That was a total joke. Don't email me.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Wendy, in all honesty, you're at the red carpet, Taylor Lanner spots you and says, look, I can't talk to you now because I'm only allowed to do two interviews, but meet me right here afterwards. Do you meet him?

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Oh, absolutely.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Okay.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

And then he says, listen, I don't want to talk to you in front of everybody. So you and I are gonna hop in the car, we'll go back to the hotel and have a conversation.

[Female Co-host]

He's not dirty.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Yes.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Do you go?

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Yes.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

And then you go back to the hotel and he says, look, why don't

[Female Co-host]

you and I just go, it's creepy for Wendy.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Why?

[Male Contributor]

He's 17.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

17 years old.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

We're talking About?

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

He's a junior in high school.

[Female Co-host]

By comparison, the people that you're talking about, Bert and Wendy, don't compare the two. Don't clump together.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

They're still illegal.

[Female Co-host]

Don't be so mad. Not in Georgia. Not in Georgia.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Yeah, listen.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Hear all the excuses.

[Female Co-host]

Erroneous argument, Jeff $erroneous women are incapable

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

of calling themselves perving.

[Female Co-host]

Well, you were in. You guys won't call yourselves perving.

[Male Contributor]

Yes, we will. We say it.

[Female Co-host]

We acknowledge Jeff. I want you to say, my name is Jeff. I'm a man and I'm perving.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

You got to give me the girl. Give me a girl who's under here.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Because Lisa writes a really? She makes a good point. She says that truth is, 40 year old guys were like this over Britney back in 2000 when she was like 17 years old. That is true. True.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

And not even 40 year old guys. I was 2000, so I was nine years younger. So I was in my mid 20s. And when Britney Spears did the, you know, schoolgirl video. Hit me, baby, one more time. Hit me, baby one more time.

[Male Contributor]

She was hot in that same scenario, right? And it's creepy.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

What if she asked you to go back? Like, hey, let's get in the car.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

You would say no. Whereas you would say yes.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

Jeff would not say no. Jeff would not say no.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

I think I would. See, No. I think I would say no.

[Female Co-host]

See, the difference is it would be up to Taylor. It'd be up to Taylor if something happened between him and Wendy, because the man would have to take control. But see, you're perfect.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

He's not a man. He's a boy. He's Shark Boy.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

He's grown up from that movie.

[Female Co-host]

He's got more hair on his chest than he's a werewolf.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

He's got facial hair. Look at the pictures.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Leanne Hamilton Lipinski writes, I don't care. Jacob is hot. She's 36, 7 years old. Loretta Ledford writes, okay, so it should be illegal for a 17 year old to look that hot. The boy is hot.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Oh, my God.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Luckily, my kids like to watch Shark Boy and Lava Girl. That helps. Remind me he's just a boy.

[Female Co-host]

Oh, Lava Girl.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

She's not gonna do anything because it's always a little boy. So girls, women, don't do anything.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Just admit that y' all are just as creepy as men and we can move on.

[Female Co-host]

I tell you what you need to do, but I know you're about to take a call, but I have an idea on what you need to do. I think you need to create a video just like the video of Taylor Lautner.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

You're right.

[Female Co-host]

Don't say it's. You just post it anonymously up there about some girl, the same age of guys and see the feedback on it and then call out the contradiction.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

You know, I think it's a great idea. I'll have Rhett work on it today. Yeah, and it'll be like Miley Cyrus. Those sort of like seductive pictures she was doing a couple of years ago.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

But you gotta find older.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Miley Cyrus isn't hot.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

That's Disney.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Doesn't matter.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Doesn't matter. The fact. The fact is that it's a 17 year old girl.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

Yeah, it does matter. You gotta find a girl who actually is hot to get the right results.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

Dakota Fanning.

[Male Contributor or Caller]

I don't know who you are. No, she's not hot either. I'll find one for you.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Okay.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

But yeah, the girls are being. She's not hot.

[Female Co-host]

But we're trying to help the video. I mean, so I think throw it out there and see what the reaction is.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Wait till you see the message boards. I mean, from around the country it will be with women so upset by pervy 40 year old guys. Hey, Laura, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Mid-20s Listener)]

I was just going to say thank you, Bert, for calling him Shark Boy. Because that's all I see him as. I'm in my mid-20s, I have two small kids and it grosses me out, all these women lusting after him. Because that's all I see him as, a Shark Boy.

[Caller (Young Fan)]

He's so nerdy.

[Caller (Mid-20s Listener)]

He's 17.

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

Wendy turned the negative into a positive. She had the picture of Shark Boy on her computer for the last week.

[Female Reporter or Contributor]

I didn't put that up there.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

You know what?

[Female Co-host]

She didn't put that up there.

[Female Host (possibly Kimmery)]

To keep it in perspective, we refer to him only as Shark Boy from

[Male Host (possibly Bert)]

this point on the bird show.

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