2: Vault: She Plans On Getting Married For All The Wrong Reasons

Summary

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The Bert Show Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title:

Vault: She Plans On Getting Married For All The Wrong Reasons

Date:

February 10, 2026

Main Theme / Purpose:

This lively episode explores the unique dilemma of a listener, Erin, who considered getting married purely to access a $100,000 inheritance specified in her grandfather’s will—which required her to be married by her 21st birthday. The cast debates motives for marriage, shares listener responses, and uncovers the surprising legal truth about the inheritance clause, while offering a blend of real talk and humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Erin’s Inheritance Dilemma

• Background: Erin reveals her grandfather left a clause in his will offering $100,000 to any grandchild married by their 21st birthday.
  • Erin (01:05): "My grandfather... put something in his will that all the grandkids... if they're married [by 21]... receive $100,000."
• Erin was considering marrying a friend—or even a stranger—for a $5,000 cut so she wouldn't miss out.
  • Erin (01:42): "I'll give them like $5,000... because we don't have to stay married a particularly long time."

2. Reactions from the Bert Show Team & Listeners

• The show is both shocked and amused by the idea.
  • Bert (01:49): "What guy in his right mind would... go for five grand? Sure, let’s go."
• The hosts are surprised at how many men reached out wanting Erin’s number.
  • Bert (01:49): "I got so many emails over the weekend from guys wanting her phone number."
• Team members admit they might have considered it too if they were younger.
  • D (02:19): "Yeah, I would have done that if I was younger and single."
• Friends and even parents were trying to volunteer themselves or their sons as candidates.
  • D (02:45): "No personal friends who are nominating their sons."
  • Bert (02:47): "Nominating their sons. Yep."

3. Listener Responses: Competition and Motivation

• Listeners not only volunteered, but marketed themselves as the ideal marriage candidate.
  • F (03:02): "Guys... were giving all the stats on why they should be the one she picks."
• The team debates whether this is about the money, the story, or just the chance for easy cash.
  • Bert (03:18): "I think it was straight up the five grand."
  • E (03:32): "Would you do it though, Wendy?"
  • F (03:35): "Yeah, right?"
  • E (03:37): "You would go marry a guy for $5,000 and then have it annulled a month later?"
  • F (03:45): "Yeah."
  • E (03:45): "It's not causing any harm."
  • Bert (03:47): "That's what most of these guys are saying. Give me the five grand."

4. Legal Insight & The Reality Check

• Erin is back with new information after speaking to a family lawyer.
  • Erin (04:16): "I talked to my cousin... his father's a lawyer... turns out there was a lot of stuff I didn't know."
• Key revelation: She won't lose the inheritance if she doesn't marry by 21—it’s just delayed until she turns 25 (or when she marries before then).
  • Erin (04:56): "If I'm not married by the time I'm 25, I still get the full amount. And if I get married between now and 25, then I still get that amount before I turn 25."
• The hosts clarify: It’s more like an "advance" for marrying young.
  • D (05:16): "So, it's like an advance on your inheritance when you get married."
  • F (05:34): "So instead of encouraging you to get married, it's like... if you need the money early, here's something to help you out."

5. Resolution and Reflection

• Erin decides not to rush into a sham marriage now that she knows she won’t lose the money.
  • Erin (06:05): "To halt the plan for the time being."
• The team encourages Erin to read legal fine print about her future inheritance just in case.
  • D (07:01): "If I were you, Erin, I would just review with your cousin's father... the parameters of your age 25 inheritance."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (01:49): "I got so many emails over the weekend from guys wanting her phone number."
• D (02:22): "$5,000 cash, tax-free, money in the bank."
• F (03:02): "Paragraph after paragraph of these guys explaining every single detail about themselves."
• E (03:37): "You would go marry a guy for $5,000 and then have it annulled a month later?"
• Erin (04:56): "If I'm not married by the time I'm 25, I still get the full amount... just that I'll wait a little longer to get it..."

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:05 – Erin explains the inheritance/marriage clause
• 01:49 – The Bert Show reacts and discusses listener responses
• 03:02 – Discussion of listener (and parent) nominations, competition, and motivations
• 04:06 – Erin returns and describes advice from a family lawyer
• 04:56 – Revealing the actual inheritance clause (no loss, just delayed payment)
• 05:16 – Team clarifies the "advance" concept
• 06:05 – Erin calls off her search for a quick marriage
• 07:01 – Final advice: review all inheritance details for age 25

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains The Bert Show’s signature blend of humor, candor, and real-life advice. The team approaches Erin’s wild plan with a mix of shock, amusement, and genuine concern, while offering practical advice in their relatable, conversational tone.

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Final Thoughts

In a story that starts as a sitcom-style marriage-for-money caper, the episode ends with clarity and a responsible choice, highlighting the importance of legal advice and not making major life choices just for quick financial gain. Erin’s journey sparked both on-air and off-air debates, showcasing The Bert Show's knack for real-life drama with a comedic twist.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Show previously on the Burch Show. You're getting married this weekend.

[C]

I hope so. Well, I don't know who it's going to be yet. I turned 21 on Wednesday, and my grandfather, who is a really, really successful businessman, put something in his will that all the grandkids, when they turn 21 or by their 21st birthday, if they're married, then we receive $100,000. Yeah. And the thing is, I've always done really well and I've been taken care of. And we get another payout when we're 25. So it never really was on my mind. And I guess that's why I didn't explore serious relationships and all that. So I've decided that, I don't know, like, ask a friend or find somebody and go to Vegas and I'll give them a payment. I think I'll give them like $5,000, and I think that's a decent amount because we don't have to stay married a particularly long time.

[B]

Now, I will stand corrected on something I said Friday, because I said, what guy in his right mind would. When a woman initially approaches them with a crazy idea like this, maybe you have one drink together. Maybe on the second one she says, look, I gotta tell you something. This was my mission tonight. Will you marry me, and let's go to Vegas. What guy in his right mind is gonna go for five grand? Sure. Let's go. I got so many emails over the weekend from guys wanting her phone number.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, I didn't hear you say that. Cause I would have. Yeah, I would have done that if I was younger and single.

[B]

You're like 22 years old. You'd have done five grand cash, tax.

[D]

Free, money in the bank.

[B]

Bye. Bye. No way. You are out of your mind. You're loco.

[D]

I actually checked. I had personal friends, people that I know. Come on, seriously.

[B]

I'm sure.

[D]

Hit me up and say, no, it wasn't him.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

It wasn't.

[D]

Check away.

[F]

That's who I thought of too.

[D]

No personal friends who are nominating their sons.

[B]

Nominating their sons. Yep.

[D]

Really? Yep.

[B]

Like, I don't know why, but like that.

[D]

Based on that reaction, you'll never find out who it was. But I had. I had a friend of mine and I didn't see the email until last night, but she sent an email and said, send me the girl's number I want to pass along to my son.

[F]

I think the email. I think the emails I got, like, were of guys who were giving all the stats on why they should be the one she picks. And it's just like, guys, oddly, when a competition's in place, they are going to come up and it's like a wild story to tell. And to five, like Jeff said, $5,000 go to Vegas.

[B]

But yeah, I think you're overthinking it. I don't think it was the competition at all. I just think it was straight up to five grand.

[F]

You think?

[B]

I mean, think about it. I mean, Wendy, $5,000 to you right now. I mean, at 22 years old, that's like $250,000 to Donald Trump, I think.

[E]

Would you do it though, Wendy? Maybe.

[F]

Yeah, right?

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[E]

You would go marry a guy for $5,000 and then have it an old, like a month later. Why not? It's free money.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

It's not causing any harm.

[B]

That's what most of these guys are saying. Give me the five grand.

[F]

I guess I was just thinking about the competition because it was like paragraph after paragraph of these guys explaining every single detail about themselves on why they should be picked. I thought they were putting a lot of thought into their email.

[E]

They were hungry.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Aaron is back. Hey, Aaron.

[F]

Hi.

[B]

Hey. What's going on? All right, tell us about the weekend. Because the last time we talked to you, you needed to find a man this last weekend and get married before your birthday on Tuesday.

[C]

Well, remember you guys gave me that advice about legal things? So I did talk to my cousin, and then he actually put me in touch with his father because his father's a lawyer, and he gave me a really. I mean, we had a really great conversation. It turns out there was a lot of stuff I didn't know, and it's all good, and it's really helpful. So I really appreciate you guys kind of putting me in that direction. Basically, I get this really nice inheritance when I'm 25. Okay. And I thought that this amount of money I would lose if I didn't take it when I was 21 and already married. But it turns out. And by the way, it's like a third of the whole total sum. Turns out that if I'm not married by the time I'm 25, I still get the full amount. And if I get married between now and 25, then I still get that amount before I turn 25. Does that make sense?

[D]

So it's like an advance on your inheritance when you get married.

[C]

But I'm not going to lose it, you know, if I'm not married by the time I'm.

[B]

So you get a third of it. So I got this right. You get a third of it when you turn 21.

[C]

Only if I'm married.

[D]

If you're married.

[C]

But I don't lose it if I'm not married. I just don't get it right away.

[F]

So it sounds, instead of encouraging you to get married, it's like, look, if you decide to get married young, here's something to help you out because you may not be able to wait till 25 because you'll need the money early, right?

[C]

I guess so. Good way of putting it. But, I mean, I'm not gonna lose the money. It's just that I'll wait a little longer to get it since I'm not married right now.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

But I'm comfortable, so I'm okay with that.

[F]

You know, it makes a little more sense. Right.

[B]

So the truth of the matter is, though, when you called us up on Friday and you thought you were gonna lose that 100 grand, I mean, this plan would still be in action right now if you were gonna lose that $100,000.

[C]

Absolutely, but I'm not going to. So to halt the plan for the time being.

[F]

Well, that's good. That's good. At least, you know, when you get married, maybe you'll really want to be married.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Did you get to the point where you had sort of determined which guys you were going to ask or where you were going to go to look for guys to ask?

[C]

Well, I mean, I kind of knew where I'd go to look but the point is, after our phone call, like, I got this information late Friday, so I never had to go out and do my search. And Anderson and I had fun this weekend, but I didn't have to actually do this search.

[B]

I would never tell anybody. Like in casual conversation, it was you on the radio. Never, never, never.

[E]

A lot of people didn't believe you.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

This scenario sounds more plausible to me because it did sound like there got to be some legal loopholes in that to make. Although we have talked about inheritances before on the air with these strange clauses in them that if you don't reach every one of these clauses you get zero. Zero.

[D]

I would, if I were you, Aaron. I would just review with your cousin's father. I don't know what that is. Uncle. Review with your uncle the parameters of your age 25 inheritance. Because you strike me as the type of person who's somewhat last minute. So perhaps you should now look into that because maybe if there's some requirement that you are enrolled in college or have gotten a degree or blah, blah, blah, any other condition in there, you probably want to have a heads up now as opposed to trying to get your master's degree. And at age 24 and a half.

[C]

Okay, but I mean, he made it pretty clear, but okay.

[B]

Why not the Birch show?