27: Full Show PT 1: Friday, May 15 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show, Episode 27: Full Show PT 1 - Friday, May 15 [Vault]

Podcast Date: May 15, 2026
Host and Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others

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Episode Overview

This episode maintains The Bert Show’s signature blend of humor, real-life drama, and lively debate. The team discusses viral local news about TV chef Paula Deen getting hit in the face with a ham, erupts into debate about adults crushing on teen celebrities (Taylor Lautner/Twilight fandom), follows up with a relationship report card for a listener stuck in love limbo, and explores student-pigeon showdowns at Georgia State University. The cast’s playful banter, listener calls, and candid opinions make for an engaging morning drive.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. Paula Deen Gets Hit by a Ham – “We Just Want to Laugh With You!”

[01:01 - 06:43]

Summary:
The cast recounts a now-viral incident where TV chef Paula Deen, during a food charity event in Atlanta, was accidentally struck in the face by a flying ham tossed by an attendee. While the moment is played for laughs, there’s genuine relief that Deen wasn’t injured. The cast notes the media frenzy over the viral video and expresses curiosity about the anonymous ham-thrower (“We’re not trying to embarrass this dude…”).

Key Discussion Points:

• Retelling the story of Paula Deen tossing and receiving hams at a charity event.
• The comical and cringe-worthy moment of Deen getting hit: “She went looking and knocked her right in the face. She wasn’t even paying attention.” (Ellis, [02:23])
• Paula Deen is heard laughing off the incident: “I thought he was just saying, back at you. Well, he really meant back at you. He threw the ham back and I was unexpecting the pig. And it just hit me full on. About knocked me full loop.” (Paula Deen audio, [05:05])
• Playful jabs about how embarrassing it would be to go down in history as “the guy who hit Paula Deen in the face with a ham.”
• The show muses about re-enacting the incident with their own “Paula Deen ham toss.”

Notable Quotes:

• “It did not break her nose. That’s what I would—the first thing I thought is, oh my God, her nose is shattered.” (Ellis, [03:03])
• “We want to laugh with you, but…” (Ellis, [01:41])
• “She hugged the guy after!” (Ellis, [04:18])

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2. The Taylor Lautner / Twilight Fandom Debate – “Women Are Just as Pervy as Men”

[07:04 - 16:07]

Summary:
A teenage listener calls in seeking an update on Wendy’s attempt to meet Twilight star Taylor Lautner. This sparks a confessional and sometimes edgy debate about adult women obsessing over Lautner (then 17 yrs old), paralleling male fandoms’ crushes on teenage stars like Britney Spears. The cast teases one another about “pervy” celebrity crushes and challenges double standards along gender lines.

Key Discussion Points:

• Wendy recounts her attempt to meet Taylor Lautner: “I couldn’t get a question from him. But I was literally probably 10ft from Taylor Lautner, and he was right there looking hot.” (Wendy, [07:35])
• A 15-year-old listener gushes about Lautner, prompting good-natured teasing.
• Jeff and Bert highlight the rise of “Cougar” fandoms, women in their 30s-50s openly crushing on Lautner (“he is so hot”), reading out Facebook posts and poking fun at the trend.
• The team debates: Is it creepier for older women to “crush” on underage male celebs, or is there a double standard compared to men?
• Attempts to identify female analogs (i.e., guys behaving toward Britney Spears or Miley Cyrus the way women are to Lautner).
• Listener Laura weighs in: “It grosses me out, all these women lusting after him. Because that’s all I see him as, Shark Boy. He’s so nerdy and he’s 17.” ([15:43])

Notable Quotes:

• “Women are just as pervy as men. We just want you all to admit it, that’s all.” (Jeff, [10:06])
• “If this was a 40-year-old man writing about Miley Cyrus, there would be some kind of GBI agent knocking on his door today.” (Jeff, [11:22])
• “See, the difference is it would be up to Taylor…he’s not a man. He’s a boy. He’s Shark Boy.” (Jeff/Ellis, [13:57])
• “To keep it in perspective, we refer to him only as Shark Boy.” (Bert, [16:07])

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3. Amanda’s Relationship ‘Report Card’ – “Do You Really Want a Relationship?”

[16:34 - 28:18]

Summary:
Amanda, a 33-year-old listener, returns to recap a week where her ex-boyfriends each gave honest feedback about why their relationships with her ended. The cast tries to piece together patterns from Amanda’s past, debating concepts like “self-sabotage,” miscommunication, and the societal pressure for women to couple up. Amanda’s defensiveness and the team's persistent questioning explore what’s holding her back from relationship success.

Key Discussion Points:

• Amanda's relationship history: “I've never had a relationship last more than a year…usually six months, it starts to go downhill…” (Amanda, [16:40])
• Ex-boyfriends report Amanda pulls away or ends things when they appear to be going well, with miscommunication around the concept of a “break” vs a “breakup.”
• Live caller (Raven) relates to Amanda’s pattern of “testing” partners to see if they’ll fight for her.
• The cast encourages Amanda to consider whether she actually wants a relationship right now or is just feeling societal pressure.
• Listeners offer tough love: “They sabotage everything that they touch. Why? …Maybe you're way overanalyzing these relationships.” (Listener Brandon, [26:17])
• Amanda admits maybe she needs to reflect more: “Maybe I’m not [ready], maybe I need to look at myself more. Maybe you guys are right.” ([27:30])
• The segment wraps with Amanda sounding exhausted by the self-examination project.

Notable Quotes:

• “Maybe I haven’t met the right person yet and maybe when I do, maybe then I'll— settle down and nothing will be wrong and I won't, you know, mind all the little things.” (Amanda, [24:07])
• “Is it possible you’ve sort of been brainwashed by society to think you should be in a relationship when…you really don’t want to be in one right now?” (Jeff, [25:30])
• “Just get me off the phone. Stay away from you guys.” (Amanda, [28:04])

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4. The Pigeon Menace at Georgia State – “It’s Like ‘The Birds’ Out Here”

[28:32 - 35:39]

Summary:
Listeners share comedic (and slightly horrifying) anecdotes about aggressive pigeons attacking students on Georgia State’s campus. The cast riffs about city wildlife, “branding” by pigeons, and wonders if there’s an epidemic of bird-on-human violence. It’s revealed that the campus’s pigeons are bold enough to eat chicken wings and to treat students as fair game.

Key Discussion Points:

• Multiple callers report repeated run-ins with pigeons—one listener’s sister is “attacked” three separate times, including a pigeon getting stuck in her afro.
• Another student describes a “swarm of pigeons” attacking crowds on Broad Street: “People were running, dodging, trying to get out of the hallway…” (Sophia, [34:03])
• The hosts share urban legends and compare Georgia State’s pigeons to the aggressive squirrels at Disney World.
• Playful brainstorming about “pigeon perfume” or “pigeon-themed shampoo.”
• Conclude that Georgia State’s pigeons have a “hit” out on certain students.

Notable Quotes:

• “Her hair kind of looks like a nest…so that could be what like attracts them to her hair.” (Reshma, [31:45])
• “The pigeons at Georgia State sound like the squirrels at Disney World…The difference would be if that squirrel went up and punched Scott in the face.” (Bert, [35:23]/Ellis, [35:34])
• “Welcome to Georgia State, where the pigeons are pissed.” (Ellis, [34:32])

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On viral moments: “Paula Deen hit by ham. Video, exclusive video…It’s almost a joke.” (Bert, [06:13])
• On fandom obsession: “It’s only illegal if someone tells.” (Catherine Arundale Facebook comment, Jeff quoting, [11:22])
• On relationships: “We’re learning guys are lazy.” (Christine, [21:58])
• On urban wildlife: “They need to have, like, open season on pigeons at Georgia State…it’s like deer hunting, you know?” (Christine, [33:34])

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:01 - 06:43] — Paula Deen & the Flying Ham Story
• [07:04 - 16:07] — Taylor Lautner / Twilight Fandom & Double Standards Debate
• [16:34 - 28:18] — Amanda’s Relationship Report Card
• [28:32 - 35:39] — Georgia State Pigeon Attacks

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Tone & Style:
The episode is lively, unfiltered, and comedic, balancing playful mockery with genuine listener empathy and self-reflection. The Bert Show’s cast invites both laughter and connection—poking fun at themselves and pop culture, but also encouraging candid conversation about relationships and everyday mishaps.

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For Listeners New to The Bert Show

This episode is a perfect snapshot of The Bert Show’s voice: the hosts juggle Atlanta’s oddball news, relationship confessions, pop culture debates, and relatable listener stories, all with relentless humor and a willingness to take calls or poke fun at each other. Expect laughs, rolling debates, and a few honest takeaways about love, life…and maybe, pigeons.

Transcript

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The Birch Show.

[D]

People are really protecting this guy, man. And I understand why. We're not trying to embarrass this dude. I just would really love for him to come on and give us the play by play of everything that happened yesterday. Because I think your worst nightmare is being in front of a celebrity for the first time and doing something so stupid that they actually remember you. And unfortunately, this guy's gonna be branded. Like he'll always be the dude in Atlanta that threw a ham at Paula Dean and hit her in the face.

[E]

Because there's a big.

[D]

We're trying to find this guy. So if you know who he is or if it's you, we're not going to come down on you, dude. But we would like to talk to you. 404,741Q100.

[E]

We want to laugh with you. But it was, yeah, Smithfield. It was huge story about how Paula Deen and Smithfield were donating a bunch of food to Hosea feed the hungry. And of course, Hosea feed the hungry and the homeless. They do a huge event on Thanksgiving day. That's I believe Thanksgiving was the first day that they did this and now it's extended to other holidays, but it's here in Atlanta and it's a great organization. So Paula Deen came down to Atlanta or up from Savannah to Atlanta. I don't know where she came from. And she was here to personally donate these hams and the food to Jose.

[A]

Feed them like $25,000 worth of stuff.

[E]

Yes. And so they are in the facility there in which they are unloading the truck of the Smithfield hams.

[F]

And.

[E]

And it's almost like this assembly line. Like you've seen if there's flooding, how People with bags, you know, will hand the bag one to the other, to the other to, you know, keep the flooding from happening. Well, this is how they were doing with the hams. They were in this line and Paula Deen was part of the people in this line and they were passing it along. Well, Paula Deen decides, and the camera's there. So she's hamming it up and she takes the ham and she tosses it, like, throws it like a football to this guy. And then there's another guy that was like, right back at you, Paula, and then threw the ham and she went and looking and knocked her right in the face. She wasn't even paying attention.

[A]

She wasn't looking like you threw it. Then she turned around to get the other hand and that's when he threw it. And you hit her in the face with it, bro.

[E]

And it did not break her nose. That's what I would. The first thing I thought is, oh, my God, her nose is shattered.

[D]

Or I thought maybe split her lip or something because she. She hunches over afterwards and she starts to sort of walk away from the crowd and she's being escorted by a couple of other people just to make sure she's okay. Here's some of the audio on it right here. And you can hear, like, everybody's all excited. Ham goes in the air. And you could hear everybody.

[B]

Oh, just probably. Do they just gasp? I can't believe it.

[D]

You can hear the attitude change in like a second. It's like.

[E]

Doc Behring there.

[B]

Did you hear that?

[E]

Play it again, play it again, play it again. You can hear the ham on her face.

[D]

So everybody's all excited, just throwing this ham down the line. And then this dude throws it back. Oh,

[A]

That is the ham hitting her. Because, you know, she was. Mike.

[D]

I didn't know it was being thrown. And then she says at the end, I didn't know it was being thrown.

[A]

But like, she's wearing the mic, so you see her laugh when she throws it.

[E]

Now we're only laughing because she's fine.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

And that she hugged the guy after,

[B]

but that was loud.

[D]

I'm more laughing because truly, I mean, anytime you meet a big time celebrity, you're so nervous anyway, and really just what you want to do is get through it. And this poor guy has this his whole life.

[B]

It's like a big hit in football. But she got hit in the face of a hand.

[E]

I am shocked she didn't punch him.

[D]

I mean, because she doesn't have that in her.

[B]

It Was because there's cameras there. There's cameras.

[E]

She's a Southern woman.

[G]

Yes.

[E]

She does have it in her shit. Yeah. It would have taken everything I had back in the day.

[A]

It's going to give her that disease again where she won't leave the house. She's gonna go back home and be scared of flying hams.

[D]

Forgot she had that. Here's Paula Deen, I think, on CBS Atlanta talking about what happened to her in that line.

[C]

And I saw him lift the ham, but I was turned around to get another ham and I thought he was just saying, back at you. Well, he really meant back at you. He threw the hand back and I was unexpecting the pig. And it just hit me full on. About knocked me full loop.

[D]

Are you okay?

[C]

I'm okay. I'm okay.

[A]

Listen to the reporter. Oh, man.

[B]

She's never cooking another ham again. That was it.

[A]

Hey, if we're radio people, good radio people, shouldn't we be having like a Paula Deen ham toss or something today out in the parking lot?

[G]

I didn't know it was being thrown.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Little thing just kind of walks away.

[E]

I mean, his heart just all hunched over.

[D]

Nobody is calling with a lead on who that guy is. Everybody's trying to protect him. I understand it. Yeah. Because he has to live with this.

[E]

Yeah. No reports have his name. Nobody released his name.

[D]

No TV stations have his name. Nothing in the AJC about his name. Nothing.

[A]

I love the headlines, though. Like, I first saw it on Twitter, but. And I didn't realize it had happened in Atlanta until I got to my computer. But, like, Paula Deen hit by ham. Video, exclusive video. Paula Deen hit in the face by ham. Thrown Ham hits Paula Deen in the face. We have video.

[G]

All the.

[A]

Like, CBS Atlanta, 11 Alive, WSB. Everybody's like, Paula Deen. Ham hit the face. We have video. It's almost a joke. The Birch Show.

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subject to credit approval. The Bird Show. Good morning, Kimmery. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

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Hi, guys. That I love your show.

[E]

Thank you.

[G]

I'm a sophomore, but I've been listening since like seventh grade. So I'm one of your younger fans. But I was wondering, because I was sick last week, if you could give me an update on Wendy and the whole Taylor Lautner thing.

[A]

Okay, we're engaged.

[D]

Where did you drop off? You knew that she was going up to Knoxville to try to meet with him, right?

[G]

Yeah, I heard that she was gonna go, and then I didn't hear after that, so I didn't know if she got questions or.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

Drove up there, was all set, was on the red carpet, really, really close to the stars. And they got out of the car so excited. But, yeah, he went right by and didn't do very much press, but was at the station right next to me. I yelled as much as I could, but couldn't get a question from him. But I was literally probably 10ft from Taylor Lautner, and he was right there looking hot.

[G]

I am so in love with Taylor Lautner. Oh, my goodness.

[E]

What'd you think about New Moon?

[G]

I thought it was amazing. It's the best movie I've ever seen. And I had to warn all the people around me that I'm a screamer whenever I see him.

[E]

And you saw a lot of them.

[G]

Taylor Lautner and I have the same birthday, so I just think it's a sign from God that we're meant to be together.

[D]

Of course. It is your destiny.

[A]

And how old are you?

[G]

I'm 15.

[A]

That's right there. And he's 17.

[G]

I love acting, so I'm planning to do a movie with him, and it's all just gonna go uphill from there.

[D]

That's using the secret right there. This just may have. I'd pull for you, without a doubt.

[E]

Yeah. Don't forget us when you become a famous actress, though. Okay.

[G]

Okay, thanks. I'll keep you guys in mind.

[A]

And I'm sorry that there's an old woman like Wendy trying to get in on your action.

[E]

So old.

[D]

Well, you see, it's your destiny to be with him. So when Wendy went up there to try to get your man, it was never gonna happen because he's your destiny.

[B]

Right?

[G]

I know.

[E]

Don't worry about it.

[G]

That's. Make sure that he was doing okay. So I had to check in with Wendy.

[B]

He was doing fantastic. That's all I've got to say in that hot gray suit of his. Yeah, he looked awesome. Better in person. So you go get your man.

[A]

She's like, okay, I've heard enough, Wendy. Thank you. It's great.

[E]

I would love for her. I would love for that story to turn out. I would love for her to.

[D]

You know, she called us back, and for years. Oh, my God. I was Moving with them.

[B]

Yeah, you always do that as a teenager.

[D]

While we're on the subject of Taylor Lautner and Twilight, you know. So I posted that video last week, right?

[E]

Oh, you better online of what?

[D]

Yes, this was the Cougars tribute to Taylor Lauter. So a bunch of 40 year old women put together this video and it basically says, look, we're 40 year old women but we don't care. He's so hot. And then as this video is rolling and it's all these different clips of Taylor without his shirt on and in different ads when he's looking all sexy and stuff like that and different shots of him in the movie without any shirt on at all. And then there's text over the pictures that says like mmm or can't wait to Christmas to open this.

[E]

Are you legal yet or is it legal yet or something like that.

[D]

He's 17 years old.

[B]

Appreciating the hard work that you put in.

[D]

And Jeff and I have maintained this that women are just as pervy as men are. We just want you all to admit it, that's all. That's all we're looking for.

[C]

I want you guys to identify your, you know, deep seated jealousy in this issue.

[D]

It doesn't have to do with Jesse.

[A]

That's irrelevant. But the jealousy is irrelevant all we

[C]

want because I think that's really where it's coming from.

[A]

It doesn't matter where it's coming from. Doesn't matter. It's just the fact that women are pervy about Taylor Lautner.

[B]

Well, guys are creepy about it, that's fine.

[D]

Women are nicer about it, I can admit to that.

[C]

No, because guys would actually do it. Women just talk about it.

[D]

I don't know that women would do it. Let me read from my Facebook page some of the comments from these cougars that left Facebook page messages. Oh, cougs over the weekend. All right. Judy Dickinson Murdoch says what? He is awesome, gorgeous and sexy. Now according to her Facebook page, she's 50 and she has two kids who

[A]

are probably in their 20s.

[H]

50.

[D]

She graduated from North Clayton High School in 1977.

[B]

Again, appreciating.

[A]

It is possible that one of her children could have babysat Taylor Lautner.

[G]

Yes.

[A]

Like if you. Depending on how young she had her kids, that's mathematically possible.

[D]

Catherine Arundale writes, don't care, don't care, don't care. It's only illegal if someone tells. Oh, okay, if this is again a 40 year old man writing again about Miley Cyrus, there would be some kind of like GBI agent knocking on his door today.

[C]

It would be more threatening because the guy would actually do it.

[A]

But a woman would do it too.

[C]

I don't think so.

[G]

Look at all the women in the

[D]

news the last couple of months. Like these teachers that have been hooking up with their.

[G]

Kidding.

[A]

They're going to jail for it.

[C]

Facebook fans at first talking about it,

[D]

but you're saying women aren't capable of it. I'm saying, watch the news, Wendy.

[C]

Well, those teachers were in love.

[A]

Wendy, answer this question.

[C]

That was a joke. That was a total joke.

[H]

Don't email me.

[A]

Wendy, in all honesty, you're at the red carpet. Taylor Lautner spots you and says, look, I can't talk to you now because I'm only allowed to do two interviews, but meet me right here afterwards. Do you meet him?

[B]

Oh, absolutely.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

And then he says, listen, I don't want to talk to you in front of everybody. So you and I are gonna hop in the car, we'll go back to the hotel and have a conversation.

[E]

He's not dirty.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do you go?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

And then you go back to the hotel and he says, look, why don't you and I just go?

[E]

It's creepy for Wendy. Why?

[A]

He's 17.

[D]

17 years old we're talking about. He's a junior in high school.

[E]

By comparison, the people that you're talking about, Bert and Wendy, don't compare the two don't clump together.

[A]

They're still illegal.

[E]

Don't be so mad.

[C]

Not in Georgia.

[D]

Not in Georgia.

[G]

Yeah, listen,

[D]

hear all the excuses.

[C]

Erroneous argument, Jeff.

[E]

$erroneous.

[D]

Women are incapable of calling themselves perv.

[E]

Well, you were in. You guys won't call yourselves perving.

[A]

Yes, we will. We say it. We acknowledge.

[E]

Jeff, I want you to say my name is Jeff. I'm a man and I'm perving.

[A]

You got to give me the girl. Give me a girl who's under here.

[D]

Because Lisa writes a really? She makes a good point. She says that truth is, 40 year old guys were like this over Britney back in 2000 when she was like 17 years old.

[C]

Yes, that's true.

[B]

That is true.

[D]

True.

[A]

And not even 40 year old guys. I was 2000, so I was nine years younger. So I was in my mid 20s. And when Britney Spears did the, you know, schoolgirl video. Hit me, baby one more time Hit me, baby one more time. She was hot in that same scenario. Right? And it's creepy.

[B]

What if she asked you to go back? Like, hey, let's get in the car, meet later.

[D]

No, you would Say no. Whereas you would say yes.

[B]

Jeff would not say no. Jeff would not say no.

[A]

I think I would. See, No. I think I would say no.

[E]

See, the difference is it would be up to Taylor. It'd be up to Taylor if something happened between him and Wendy because the man would have to take control. But see, you're perfect.

[D]

He's not a man. He's a boy. He's Shark Boy.

[B]

He's grown up from that movie.

[E]

He's got more hair on his chest.

[H]

He's a werewolf.

[B]

He's got facial hair. Look at the pictures.

[D]

Leanne Hamilton Lipinski writes, I don't care. Jacob is hot. She's 36, 27 years old. Loretta Ledford writes, okay, so it should be illegal for a 17 year old to look that hot. The boy is hot. Oh, my God. Luckily, my kids like to watch Shark Boy and Lava Girl. It helps remind me he's just a boy.

[E]

Oh, Lava Girl.

[B]

She's not gonna do anything because it's always a little boy. So girl. Women don't do anything.

[D]

Just admit that y' all are just as creepy as men and we can move on.

[E]

I tell you what you need to do, but I know you're about to take a call, but I have an idea on what you need to do. I think you need to create a video just like the video of Taylor Lautner.

[D]

You're right.

[E]

Don't say it's. You just post it anonymously up there about some girl the same age.

[D]

I think it's a great idea of

[E]

guys and see the feedback on it and then call out the contradiction.

[D]

You know, I think it's a great idea. I'll have Rhett work on it today. Yeah, and it'll be like Miley Cyrus, those sort of like seductive pictures she was doing a couple of years ago.

[A]

You gotta find older.

[C]

Miley Cyrus isn't hot.

[B]

That's Disney.

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[D]

Doesn't matter. The fact, the fact is that it's a 17 year old girl.

[C]

Yeah, it does matter. You gotta find a girl who actually is hot to get the right results.

[A]

Dakota Fanning, I don't know who you

[C]

know, she's not hot either. I'll find one for you.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But yeah, the girls are being, she's

[E]

not hot, but we're trying to help the video. I mean, so I think do this, just throw it out there and see what the reaction is.

[D]

Wait till you see the message boards. I mean, from around the country, it will be with women so upset by pervy 40 year old guys. Hey, Laura, good morning. You're on Q100.

[G]

I was just going to say thank you, Bert, for calling him Shark Boy, because that's all I see him as. I'm in my mid-20s, I have two small kids, and it grosses me out, all these women lusting after him. Because that's all I see him as, a Shark Boy. He's so nerdy and he's 17.

[D]

Wendy turned the negative into a positive. She had the picture of Shark Boy on her computer for the last week.

[B]

I didn't put that up there.

[A]

You know what?

[E]

She didn't put that up there.

[A]

Shady. To keep it in perspective, we refer to him only as Shark Boy. From this point on, the bird show

[B]

VRBO makes it easy to claim your dream summer spot with early booking deals from homes with pools to poolside loungers. When you book a vrbo, you don't have to reserve any loungers. They're all yours. All you have to do is book early book with vrbo,

[A]

the bird show.

[D]

All right, let's go back to a week ago now. This is Amanda calling up for the very first time.

[G]

Well, I'm 33 now, and I've never had a relationship last more than a year, you know, usually six months. It starts to go downhill, and it's just like, you start thinking at a certain age, I want to get married one day. And it's like, what am I doing wrong? You know, once or twice I dumped someone or they dumped me. You know what I mean? It was never like a crazy breakup. Really.

[C]

What is your type of guy?

[G]

You know, I mean, I try, you know, to find someone, you know, that has a job and, you know, I think has good morals. You never know, though, you know what I mean?

[D]

All right, so our idea was this, and we've done relationship report card before, is nobody has better perspective on what happened in that relationship than one of the ex boyfriends.

[C]

Yeah. Because they are gonna be able to come on and be honest and say, this is why it didn't work out. And we did that every single day without her being on the phone so that we could get some honesty. And then after a while, you figure out if there's a pattern that's formed or, you know, get some sort of insight in, you know, the way you are in a relationship that you wouldn't get otherwise.

[D]

So one of two things is gonna happen here is she's been listening and she's been analyzing what they said, and she's really, really gotten an education or she's gonna be so defensive that she just shut down.

[E]

Well, what happened last week is Thursday we were supposed to talk to a boyfriend. She called up and said, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done. And she was defensive on Thursday. Then we talked her into just one more boyfriend. One more boyfriend. And then Friday, Alex came on, and then we realized, wait a second. Alex did not know that he was an ex boyfriend until we contacted him to be on this panel. And so I feel like was she was defensive on Thursday, now she knows that we're going to ask her, why didn't Alex know that you were not broken up, even though you're on a break? But whatever. And so I have a feeling that she's going to be a little more, I don't know, harsh with us today.

[D]

All right, we have much ground to cover here. There were four boyfriends that we had on John, Nathan, Eric, and Alex. Hey, Amanda. Good morning.

[G]

Good morning, guys.

[D]

How are you?

[G]

I'm okay. How are you guys?

[D]

Good. You want to. You want to take the last one and work our way backwards, or would you like to start with John and work our way up to the ex boyfriend who didn't know he was an ex boyfriend?

[G]

I guess we'll start with John and we'll move our way out from the beginning.

[F]

Yes.

[D]

All right. This was John initially, I think, first and foremost.

[G]

You know, it was a long time ago.

[F]

We were kind of young. I'd say about half a year into being together. To me, as a 21 year old, she just got really homebodyish and felt like we were in our 30s all of a sudden. And her excuse for all this was like, well, you know, we should. We should stay in because we have tests next week. And I don't know, I was more into, you know, partying.

[D]

So the gist there is, you guys are young, he still wants to party, and you want to get serious about your career and graduating.

[G]

Right? And that's exactly what happened. Like, he was totally, you know, into drinking and partying, and I just wasn't. I wanted to get my, you know, I mean, I was going to law school. I was, you know, trying to work on my grades. I needed, like, that was the issue.

[D]

All right, let me play this, because this was Alex on Friday. He didn't realize he was an ex boyfriend until producer Tracy called him, had

[F]

had no clue until I got a call from your producer. We were taking a break to sort of focus on some personal stuff.

[A]

Whose idea was the break?

[F]

It was hers.

[E]

Her idea.

[F]

I mean, it didn't seem unusual to me or anything like that. I mean, we're. We spent a lot of time with each other. We're very career minded. I didn't think there was anything wrong whatsoever.

[D]

Okay, so Alex comes on and says he had no idea.

[G]

Right. Which is ridiculous because when you tell someone that you want to take a break, I mean, basically you're breaking up with them. I haven't texted him in weeks. I mean, what I don't understand. Well, that was baffling.

[D]

I think we tried to define this on Friday. Like, taking a break and breaking up are really two different things.

[E]

Like I said, you're breaking up.

[D]

I think that taking the break is really limbo for breaking up. But it's not really official just yet. It's like, okay, I'm gonna go do my thing, you do your thing. We'll meet back here in four weeks and we'll see if it works out. There's no, like, nice little breakup.

[G]

Bow down. The nice way of saying we're breaking up. Like, I really.

[A]

The nice way to say that we're breaking up is, hey, we're breaking up, like, taking a break. There are. There are two very, very different things.

[D]

Yeah, here's Raven here. She's got some input. Hey, Raven.

[G]

Hey. I just agree with you guys because I do the same thing. I break up with a boyfriend to see if he's gonna fight for me to come back. You know, I think the most important thing that they have or going on, and I kind of self sabotage the relationship to see if they'll fight for me. And she does the exact same thing.

[A]

That's so, Raven, do they fight for you?

[G]

Yeah, just to see if they care about me or love me enough to fight for me, to want me back. Let me see how much they care about me and see if they'll fight for me.

[B]

I understand.

[C]

I understand what you're saying and why you do it, but do they fight for you? Does it work?

[G]

No, it doesn't. And she's realizing it doesn't work for her either. So we gotta do something about it.

[D]

Theory not working. Christine called us earlier in the morning and she said the same thing, that she's broken up with guys and tested them and they haven't come back. But then she goes back to them, and at that point, you've lost complete control in the relationship.

[C]

You know what we're really learning here is that guys are lazy.

[D]

So what was the reason why you went on the break slash the breakup with Alex then without him knowing?

[G]

Yeah. Without him knowing. Because, I mean, we were just working a lot. We never saw each other. There was. And then when we, when I wasn't working, we were together all the time. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we work and he works a lot as well. But there was stuff I wanted to do. I wanted to, you know, work out more. I wanted to, you know, be with my girlfriends. I wasn't seeing them at all.

[C]

So it sounds like you don't even want a relationship right now in your life at all because it's you.

[G]

I mean, it's just I don't, you know, work.

[E]

Well, I'm confused because it seems like what you wanted with the first guys, for them to be more homebody. Well, here's a guy that was going to be happy to be a homebody with you, and then you didn't want him.

[G]

I mean, that's not that I didn't want him. I was just very, you know, it was very busy.

[D]

Were things going great with Alex before you guys went on the break?

[G]

Yeah, they were going really good.

[D]

Well, if things were going well with Alex and you broke up with him because you didn't have time and that was just last week, then if what you're saying is if anybody comes into your life right now, you don't have time for it because you did, things were fine with Alex.

[G]

I mean, maybe I need to slow down with my, you know, I work a lot.

[C]

Was he a poor performer in any area?

[G]

No, he wasn't at all. I mean, everything was, you know, good.

[B]

I'm even more confused.

[C]

Me too.

[D]

Well, the, the one thing that we do have with the tie in between Eric and Alex is communication problems. Eric didn't know why you broke up and Alex didn't know he was broken up with.

[E]

So I just, it seems to me, and I said this at the beginning of last week and I still think the same thing that a lot of callers are saying is the self sabotage part because things go well and you end it. And I'm not sure if you're trying to find the absolute most 100% perfect man and are unrealistic about what a relationship really is.

[G]

Maybe, I mean, maybe, you know, I haven't met the right person yet and maybe when, you know, I do, maybe then I'll, you know, settle down and nothing will be wrong and I won't, you know, mind all the little things.

[D]

Yeah, and that was my initial point when we first started this whole thing that I do think women put their finger on the panic Button at some point and say, what am I doing wrong in these relationships? When the truth of the matter is there is a good chance you're not doing anything wrong. You just haven't met a guy that fits who you are yet.

[G]

Right. And maybe that's the issue. Maybe that's what it is.

[D]

Hey, Brandon.

[A]

Good morning.

[F]

You're on Q100 Morning Bird Show.

[A]

How y' all doing today?

[D]

All right, thank you.

[G]

These poor women that, you know, what. What perfect person are they waiting for that could have passed? They sabotage everything that they touch. Why?

[D]

Well, I think she just hasn't met the right guy, to be honest with you.

[G]

You know, every time she gets close,

[F]

she jerks the sex, she jerks the partying.

[G]

What's next?

[E]

Yeah, I mean, I think there's a fine line between.

[A]

I can tell you what's not happening,

[E]

you know, there's a fine line between settling down for somebody that you, you know, just because of the time thing and to find the person that's right for you, because I do think it's always worth the wait. I think you should wait it out and not rush into anything. But. Yeah, I just think that Amanda seems to. Things happen when things are going well. That's. That's when every. The problems start.

[D]

Is it possible that you've sort of, like, been brainwashed by society to think that you should be in a relationship when the truth is you really don't want to be in one right now or you don't have the time for one right now?

[G]

Maybe that's the issue. Maybe I don't have the time. Maybe I haven't met the right guy and I don't. I don't have the time. Maybe that is the problem.

[E]

Why are you upset?

[G]

I don't know. It's just, you know, it's difficult to listen to, you know, all of it. And I mean, it was like a very, like, draining week last week.

[D]

That must be very hard to lose.

[G]

Thank God it's a short week.

[F]

Hey, I've been listening to this all week, actually. I love you guys show. By the way, my girlfriend got me turned on to you guys for actually from the regular guys.

[D]

Thanks, man.

[G]

So.

[F]

But I've been listening to all these problems, and, you know, it sounds like you're. You're. You're a great girl. You're nice, but I think you're way over analyzing these deep. These relationships. And the other two previous women, they just called in talking about they want to test these men. I think they're acting like looney bins, to be honest with you. I mean, if you're in a relationship and you like somebody, and especially this last guy who apparently said he didn't know that. That you were broken up, which he should have figured it out. But if you guys were on the verge of getting married and you're looking at rings, don't you think he's. He kind of loves you? I mean, don't you think that's proven enough that he's saying, okay, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with you because we're about to get married?

[A]

But she really. She needed really, really proof. She needed really double proof.

[D]

You had at least in two of these situations. In half of the situations, both guys said that they would have continued the situation, like Eric said, had you not pulled the sex part, you guys would still be going out. Alex says that had you not gone on the break, he'd still be in the relationship with you. So the only thing I can conclude is that you think you're ready for a relationship, but you really aren't.

[G]

Right? And maybe that's the problem. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I need to, you know, look at myself more. Maybe you guys are right.

[D]

I just don't think the time is right for you to settle down with somebody yet. You want that to be you, but it's really not the case. That makes sense.

[G]

Yeah. No, it does.

[C]

I mean, I think it's a good analysis of the whole week and her whole situation.

[E]

I can't tell, though, because I think Amanda just wants it to be over with. I think she's accepting anything we say.

[G]

I'm a little done with it.

[E]

And I can't tell if that's the right read or not, because she. Yeah, I could say that you need to, you know, I don't know, move to Canada. And she'd be like, you know what? You're right.

[C]

You're right.

[H]

Melissa.

[E]

Just get me off the phone. Stay away from you guys.

[D]

The pain is over. It's over.

[C]

Thank you for doing it.

[G]

Yeah, thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

[D]

All right. I hope you got a little bit something out of it.

[G]

Yeah, I know I did.

[D]

You can't wait to get off the phone. Bye.

[G]

Bye.

[E]

She says I got something out of it. I ain't listening to you guys no more.

[A]

Oh, she hates us.

[D]

Another satisfied bird show customer, people.

[A]

Hey. The Birch show. The bird show.

[D]

Hi, Reshma.

[G]

Hi.

[D]

Georgia State students. And we're not entirely sure it's a 100% safe campus.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

I don't.

[D]

I Don't know.

[H]

I mean, we both just transferred to Georgia State, and my sister's a sophomore, and her very first day at Georgia State, she was walking, like. Georgia State's got, like, a midsection amongst all their buildings. And she was walking there past the library, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she sees a bunch of pigeons. And she. I mean, pretty much likes pigeons and thinks they're funny. Animals will kind of stare at them. And she's like that girl that kind of runs into the pigeon pile.

[F]

Yeah.

[H]

So she was just walking by them and saw them and just kind of like, you know, like, excited to be at school and all that. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this pigeon comes and flies straight past her and hits her in the shoulder. Straight up straight into her shoulder.

[D]

So it wasn't, like, on the path somewhere else and just accidentally was flying too slowly and she got in the way? No, it was Beeline.

[A]

Now, just out of curiosity, to be fair, there is a chance that on the pigeon radio station, there's a call right now or somebody on the air saying, a pigeon saying, yeah, she just. My s. Sister pigeon just loves humans. Like, walks right into them or flies right into them when they see them. So basically, the pigeon committed the same crime that your sister, maybe your human sister committed.

[H]

I could see that. I could see that. But the thing is. So that day when she called me, I was laughing at her. Then about two weeks later, she's talking to me, and her and I are walking together this time, and we're walking over to see my dad and grab lunch with him. And we walk through the middle of downtown through Woodruff park, and there's always pigeons around Woodruff Park. So we're walking down, and there's a big old clump of pigeons, and we have to, like, walk through them. So we walk through them, and they all fly up out of nowhere. No one else freaks out. She kind of, like, you know, stumbles a little bit, and all of a sudden, another one flies straight into her and gets stuck in her hair.

[C]

It got stuck in her hair.

[H]

Like, she's got a big old Afro. So, like, it got, like, claws that kind of, like, you know, trampled in

[B]

her hair and then flew.

[E]

Oh, no way.

[A]

Wow.

[G]

Poor.

[C]

Ha.

[H]

I didn't believe her the first time. I thought she was lying. So this time I was like, what is wrong with you?

[D]

Okay, now you're completely off of Georgia State campus at that point.

[H]

I mean, it's still a part of the campus.

[D]

Okay.

[H]

Yeah, it's in between like Georg to say, it's kind of spread out. So. And then last week when it started getting cold, she was sitting outside the library, just kind of hanging out. And at this point, her exact words to me were, I was staring at the pigeon just thinking about it. I don't know what she was thinking about, but she was having like a staring contest with the pigeon.

[D]

Oh, you'll lose that every time.

[H]

So the pigeon apparently.

[D]

Did you do that little herky jerky head thing?

[H]

Yeah. So I guess the pigeon lost and flew straight into her, scratched her shoulder and she had to go get a tetanus shot.

[D]

So she had a showdown with a pigeon.

[C]

They had three showdowns with pigeons.

[E]

They have a hit on her. Yeah, that is a pigeon that has a hit on her.

[H]

Exactly. So I mean, three times in a row. And she claimed that time it was cause she took her sweater off and it was like some higher sign for her to put her sweater on so she doesn't get sick. But I was like, you got a tetanus. That's not the same thing.

[D]

Our thought it might be like some kind of Georgia State epidemic where if it's happening to your sister, then it's gotta be happening to other students around campus. Or she's wearing something that is attracting pigeons, maybe to slide right into her.

[B]

Maybe she's the pigeon Whisper.

[A]

Does she have some pigeon themed shampoo or soap that she's using?

[H]

I don't think so. I mean, her hair kind of looks like a nest.

[A]

More pigeon themed shampoo, maybe Corn flavored popcorn scented perfume perhaps.

[C]

You're really hit and miss today, aren't you?

[A]

Just thinking out loud.

[B]

That would attract pigeons.

[E]

And Jeff, Jeff, be like, oh, you smell great.

[D]

That other people from Georgia State would call and say, yeah, there's a patch of like pigeons somewhere on campus that has been known for years to attack others. But I'm not getting any calls. So it may just be your sister's name.

[C]

What's that Alfred Hitchcock movie?

[E]

The Birds.

[H]

Birds.

[D]

Creepy.

[H]

It might just be her. I mean, she does have a big old curly head of hair. So her head kind of looks like a nest. So that could be what like attracts them to her hair.

[B]

So you really love your sister.

[A]

Is this the sister that you convinced her she was adopted for several years?

[H]

This same one? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, they just really like hitting her and they always leave a mark. Like each one of them, she's got like three marks.

[B]

They're branding her.

[E]

Yeah, they're trying to get her in her in their gang.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

See if she's tough enough.

[D]

Christina. Good morning, Christina.

[G]

Hey. I love your show.

[D]

Thank you.

[G]

But I go to Georgia State. Student go to Georgia State. Sorry. And I'm actually a senior. And what you saying about the pigeons? It's completely true. We also. My first day at Georgia State, I saw a pigeon practice cannibalism where pigeon was carrying a chicken wing through our campus squad.

[E]

He was carrying what?

[D]

A chicken wing. Now, we've always. We've always wondered on the show if a turkey will eat turkey for Thanksgiving, but now we know a pigeon will eat a chicken wing.

[E]

I mean, the pigeons are badass at Georgia State.

[A]

How do you know that was a chicken wing? What if it was a pigeon wing? What if the pigeon killed his brethren and then barbecued it?

[C]

They need to have, like, open season on pigeons at Georgia State because it sounds like it's like deer hunting, you

[D]

know, like, you think they have a season on humans? Like, okay, here it is. It's May 19th.

[E]

They're all here, everybody.

[D]

September 3rd. Get em.

[B]

How much did you get today? I got five. How many did you get? I got 10. Meeting after.

[D]

Hey, Sophia. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[G]

Good morning, guys. Love you, by the way.

[D]

Thank you.

[G]

I have been at Georgia State for seven years, bachelor's and master's. And there was a time when I was walking up through Woodruff park, and it was like a swarm of pigeons were actually attacking crowds of people. And we were actually. People were running, dodging, trying to get out of the hallway. It's Broad street because there's so many restaurants, and a lot of people will leave food out for them. And so they just go for anybody at any time.

[E]

Welcome to Georgia State, where the pigeons are pissed.

[H]

Yeah. And they're not afraid of anyone, so they'll, like, eat. Like, even if you, like, start to chase them, they will move out of the way. Like, it's like pigeons right away.

[D]

So it is an epidemic down here at Georgia State. Ellis.

[G]

Hey. Yeah, no, definitely true, because about two years ago, when I was at meeting my best friend up, and we were roommates at the time, and she was walking across the park to come meet me, and I am not lying. And pigeon flew directly in her face.

[D]

Right for beines. Right for.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Well, don't you remember?

[C]

Aren't they, like, the roaches? Like, they're, like, nastier than roaches.

[H]

I mean, the doctor, the nurse, like, literally ordered my sister to have a tetanus. Like another. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Don't you remember?

[D]

Because they'll eat anything, right? So they're probably picking up all sorts of infections.

[C]

They, like, have all kinds of diseases,

[E]

and we can catch stuff from birds.

[G]

Ew.

[A]

The pigeons at Georgia State sound like the squirrels at Disney World. Remember that squirrel climbed into Scott's computer bag and fussed around until it found a half eaten chocolate chip cookie?

[E]

The difference would be if that squirrel went up and punched Scott in the face.

[D]

You're on the Burt Show.