28: Full Show PT 2: Friday, May 15 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Episode 28 (PT 2): Friday, May 15 [Vault]

Date: May 15, 2026
Podcast Theme:
A classic “Best Of” full-show compilation where Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Bert Show cast deliver their signature blend of laughs, candid stories, listener drama, and real-life moments. The episode’s centerpiece is a lengthy, dynamic John Mayer interview, followed by candid listener vents, relationship dilemmas, and snapshots of the cast’s lives.

---

Episode Overview

This episode spotlights a lively and honest discussion around a John Mayer interview, listener feedback about his personality and music, followed by a batch of listener-submitted “Vent Line” calls capturing the high school and college experience, holiday family drama, and personal challenges. The show closes with a candid look at marathon anxieties and rekindled connections from the past.

---

1. John Mayer Interview & Postmortem (00:46–15:03)

Main Discussion:

• The Bert Show team (Bart, Jen Hobby, Melissa, Jeff, Emily) discuss their reactions to John Mayer after interviewing him, debating his charm, public persona, and the perception that he is verbose or self-important.
• Jen recounts her previous one-on-one John Mayer interview and calls him charming but questions his motivations in dating famous women.
• The team sets up and airs an edited version of the John Mayer interview, with Bart noting:

  "We were supposed to spend eight minutes with the dude, and we ended up on the phone with him for 26 minutes, so we couldn’t run the whole interview." (14:41)

Key Interview Topics with John Mayer:

• On Social Media & Atlanta:
  Mayer jokes about being asked to help “ban” the term “Hotlanta,” sharing thoughts on labels people attach to artists and cities:

  "Neither does the reference ‘sensitive singer-songwriter’ do my music justice. But…sometimes there’s just handles that other people use..." (05:30, John Mayer)

• Celebrity vs. Music:

  "It has been the single most harrowing thing in my life for the last two years… sometimes I feel like I would hate myself. Like, I feel like I’m abusing... offending people’s sensibilities." (07:00, John Mayer)

• Dating & Public Scrutiny:
  Mayer denies being into one-night stands, jokes about fame-related paranoia, and playfully claims:

  "I’m actually wearing a condom right now." (09:06, John Mayer)

• Late-Night Television Ambitions:

  "I still think I could do something with a late night variety situation… it’s in development, but it’s held indefinitely because I had to make the record." (09:45, John Mayer)

• Songwriting & Set Lists:
  On getting tired of his own songs:

  "That’s why I’ll write more...if you’re going to take a big hit off the set list, you better put another big hit on." (11:56, John Mayer)
  Discusses putting songs "on the DL" rather than banning them:
  "Wonderland pulled a hammy...But Daughters just returned and is now wearing a brace." (12:14, John Mayer)

• Self-Assessment & Fame:
  On the media tour:

  "No, I’m not more proud of this work than Continuum, but I’m not less proud of it either." (12:59, John Mayer)

• Notable Moment:
  John Mayer pretending to be his own publicist (04:15) and bantering with hosts about Twitter activism.

Notable Quotes & Banter:

• Bart on Mayer’s charm:

  "He just charmed the panties right off of me." (00:59, Bart)

• Jen Hobby’s take:

  "Do I think that he dates famous girls on purpose and won’t admit it? Yes." (02:15, Jen Hobby)

• Listener feedback:

  "I completely agree with Melissa. This dude just loves to hear himself talk...if he was not a talented musician…he would just be a regular guy. He would not be getting all these hot chicks..." (15:22, Listener)

---

2. Student Vent Line: Real-Life Rants from Listeners (18:11–23:03)

Segment Theme:

A dedicated line for students (and later, teachers) to vent about school, life, stress, and social issues. The hosts interject with empathetic (and funny) commentary.

Memorable Vents:

• Cliques at School:

  "It’s really annoying how just one look can make you go into, like, social suicide." (18:48, Listener)

• Hard-Working vs. Partying Students:

  "I work my butt off in school and she thinks it’s a joke, and it really, really upsets me." (19:15, Listener)
  Bart and Jeff swap stories about “slacker” roommates who skated through academics thanks to smarts, not effort.

• Spanish Midterm Stress:

  "...She’s not even Spanish, so I don’t understand how she’s teaching it." (20:32, Listener)
  Melissa and Jen commiserate about teachers judging students’ accents, offering jokes on the grading process.

• Disturbing Caller:
  A listener vents, somewhat aggressively, about her boyfriend’s ex:

  "My boyfriend has this stupid ex girlfriend that looks like Shamu...I swear, I want to go rip her weave out..." (21:39, Listener)
  The cast is taken aback but keep it light, stressing the vent line as a “safe space” for catharsis, not action.

Notable Quote:

• Bart: "We’ve said it’s just for venting, you know?" (22:18)

Transition:

A listener suggests a ‘teacher vent line’, which the hosts enthusiastically support for the upcoming school year when teachers are at their wits’ end.

---

3. Thanksgiving Family Drama – The “Jewish Lie” Dilemma (23:31–34:48)

Story Setup (Val’s Call):

• Val, via voice disguiser, seeks advice. In a moment of improvisation at a charity event, she told her boyfriend she was Jewish. Six months later, she’s invited to his family’s Thanksgiving—his first time introducing a “Jewish” girlfriend to his excited mom.
• Now, with a fractured family of her own, Val faces the prospect of pulling off the charade.

Cast & Caller Reactions:

• The hosts tease out the “Jew-dar” of parents and potential pitfalls, referencing cultural customs and the risks of cultural faux pas.
• Callers and John Mayer (!) weigh in:

  "As soon as she finds out you’re a gentile... that woman will make sure the relationship is completely done." (28:05, Caller)
  "Your only defense is to say my parents are Jewish, but they never made me go to Hebrew school." (32:44, Bart)

• Suggestions range from bailing on Thanksgiving altogether to “owning” her casual knowledge and hoping the family is not strict.
• Melissa’s advice:

  "If this is really a serious relationship...you need to be as charming so that [his mother] doesn’t want to lose you...when you end up having to fess up." (34:27, Melissa)

• Bart:

  "I say bail. I say bail. And don’t even deal with it, man." (34:54, Bart)

Notable Quotes:

• Val: "I just didn’t think…this was going to be…anyway, we just—ever since then, it’s been like, kind of a…we haven’t really discussed it..." (24:18, Val)
• Bart: "You can’t pull this off." (30:44)

---

4. Personal Challenges & Listeners’ Real-Life Moments

4a. Running a Marathon for Love (35:10–41:40)

• Topic: Val is prepping for her first half-marathon alongside boyfriend Jason, who’s running the full.
• Anecdotes:
  Val's not a runner, finds training tedious, and dreads 13 miles.
• Emphasis on the “runner’s high” myth:

  "One guy said it and the other guy didn’t want to feel left out…now it’s this big conspiracy…" (37:30, Val)

• Listener calls in:

  "...I did put on mascara, so I understand. People-watch will get you through it, I promise." (39:28, Listener)

---

4b. Reconnecting with an Old Crush (42:49–47:01)

• Topic: Jen Hobby shares that an old high school friend (a guy) reached out via email, and they might meet up. The cast prods (and teases) her about checking him out online.
• Key Moments:
  Jen realizes he’s still “so good looking” via a photo, and they all joke about pre-meetup nerves and the etiquette of adding someone on Facebook before (or after) such a meeting.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen: "I can’t remember how to spell his last name...oh he is cute." (45:08, Jen Hobby)
• Jeff: "After you’ve seen him naked, then you can add him." (46:47, Jeff)

---

Time-Stamped Highlights by Segment

| Timestamp | Segment | Key Moment/Quote | |-----------|----------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------| | 00:46–03:44 | Pre-interview John Mayer debate | "He just charmed the panties right off of me." - Bart (00:59) | | 04:15 | John Mayer impersonates publicist | "Hey guys, I'm just coming out of commercial break..." - Mayer | | 05:30–06:26 | Atlanta's "Hotlanta" nickname | "There’s just handles that other people use…" - Mayer | | 07:00–07:26 | Fame & self-perception | "It has been the single most harrowing thing…" - Mayer | | 08:22–09:06 | Dating, jokes about protection & media | "I'm actually wearing a condom right now." - Mayer | | 09:45–10:07 | Late Night ambitions, held "indefinitely" | "I had to make the record..." - Mayer | | 11:56 | Getting tired of his own songs | "That's why I'll write more..." - Mayer | | 12:14 | "DL" for setlist songs | "Wonderland pulled a hammy..." - Mayer | | 12:59 | Album pride | "No, I'm not more proud of this work than Continuum..." - Mayer | | 15:22–16:26 | Listener feedback on Mayer's personality | "This dude just loves to hear himself talk..." - Listener | | 18:48 | Student vent: cliques | "One look can make you go into, like, social suicide..." - Listener | | 19:15 | Student vent: hard worker vs. partier | "She doesn't do anything and gets away with it..." - Listener | | 20:32 | Student vent: Spanish teacher | "She's not even Spanish, so I don't understand how she's teaching..."| | 21:39 | Aggressive ex-girlfriend vent | "Rip her weave out of her hair..." | | 24:18–34:48 | Val’s Thanksgiving dilemma | "You're Jewish, right?...I just didn't think..." - Val | | 35:10–41:40 | Pre-marathon jitters/relationship pressure| "I'm not a runner...this is 13 miles..." - Val | | 42:49–47:01 | Jen’s old friend reaches out | "Oh, he is cute..." - Jen Hobby |

---

Memorable Quotes

• On John Mayer:
  “He just charmed the panties right off of me.” – Bart (00:59)
  “Most people love him…I think I’m in the minority.” – Melissa (03:37)
• On Running:
  “I feel like one guy said it and the other guy didn’t want to feel left out—now it’s this big conspiracy…” – Val (37:30)
• On Thanksgiving/Religion:
  “The only thing that is giving me any sort of feeling of ick is the fact that I lied to him at the very beginning.” – Val (34:07)
• On Relationships:
  “After you’ve seen him naked, then you can add him [on Facebook].” – Jeff (46:47)

---

Overall Tone & Style

The Bert Show's hallmark blend of funny, honest, and slightly irreverent banter is front-and-center. The team mixes genuine empathy with playfully biting commentary, making the show both relatable and entertaining. The language is casual, peppered with candid listener stories and quick-witted retorts.

---

Summary

This episode encapsulates what The Bert Show does best: blending smart, unfiltered conversation around celebrity culture, “hot takes” on real-life situations, listener drama, and the humdrum/hilarity of adulting—all while inviting the audience right into their circle of banter. The John Mayer interview is a microcosm of celebrity, ego, fame, and vulnerability, while the Vent Line calls and cast’s life stories showcase the show's knack for amplifying both the comedy and humanity of everyday struggles.

Transcript

[Bart]

Are you really buying a car online

[Melissa]

on Autotrader right now?

[Jen Hobby]

Really? I can get super specific with dealer

[Melissa]

listings and see cars based on my budget.

[Bart]

You can really have it delivered or pick it up.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Mommy.

[Jen Hobby]

I think kid is walking up the slide.

[Emily]

Really?

[Val]

Autotrader, Buy your car online.

[Jen Hobby]

Really? You're on a GLP1. But now you're wondering, how do I manage my side effects?

[Emily]

What do I eat to stay strong?

[Jen Hobby]

Because reaching your weight loss goals can

[Emily]

take more than meds.

[Jen Hobby]

That's where Weight Watchers Med plus comes in. Get access to trusted experts, food plans

[Emily]

that work with your body, and habit

[Jen Hobby]

coaching to keep you on track.

[Emily]

Plus access to GLP1 medication. Get started@weight watchers.com all medical services are provided through our affiliated medical group, Weight Watchers Clinic. Medications require eligibility and prescription. Individual results may vary.

[Jen Hobby]

See site for more details here.

[Bart]

BIR show. I like John Mayer more after the interview than I did before.

[Jeff]

You're way into this interview.

[Bart]

Yeah. I just thought he. I know dudes aren't allowed to describe other dudes as charming.

[Melissa]

It's okay.

[Bart]

He just charmed the panties right off of me.

[Jen Hobby]

Save that panties. Okay.

[Bart]

Charm my panties right off.

[Jen Hobby]

You've got a man crush.

[Bart]

I just think he's a.

[Melissa]

You know what?

[Bart]

Melissa doesn't like the dude very much.

[Melissa]

I love his music. I love his music. I don't think he could do a bad song. But I just to hear him speak, he just. It drones on and on and is almost just self important. And I just, you know, and it's one of the things that it's not that I did not bring bring it up in the conversation before I had a chance to ever say anything, he approached that topic about how people feel about him. So he does. He does touch upon that in here.

[Bart]

But did he make you like him any more than you did before we started or. Is pretty much what you guys.

[Melissa]

I think he's got great music. I just think. Oh my God. Because. Because my argument is if he did. If he was not John Mayer and didn't have his music part of him, it would be somebody that would irritate most people. Like, oh my God. Just get to the point. Okay. But because it's John Mayer and he's so deep and he's an artist, it's,

[Jen Hobby]

you know, something about everything. Prolific.

[Melissa]

Oh my God, whatever. So I, you know, but he's a great music. I mean, he's a great artist. So I think that he deserves all the credit he gets for that. But I would not have A conversation.

[Jeff]

So nothing happened to your panties?

[Melissa]

Nothing happened your panties off?

[Bart]

Anything yours? Your panties with John Mayer?

[Melissa]

Anything?

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, my God. If we can avoid this analogy, I'll talk about John Mayer. No, I mean, I do think that he's charming. I've, you know, always been a fan of his music and, you know, we've talked to him and interviewed him before. And when I first started on the show, I went down to Lakewood and actually interviewed him one on one. And so I think since then and since sort of feeling like, I don't know, we've had a lot of interaction with him. I've always liked him. Do I think that he dates famous girls on purpose and won't admit it? Yes.

[Bart]

You brought up an interesting point in this interview about the dating the famous women that I didn't even catch that. I wish we would have called them on.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, you'll hear it in here. He talks about how you always want something about, like, well, you always want to date somebody more exciting than you. And then he drones on to say, like, well, and all of us think we're really exciting and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But what I think he was the path that he intended. And may I could be wrong on this, but the path he intended to say is like, I'm so big and great and exciting, I have to date somebody big and famous and exciting too.

[Bart]

I didn't catch that at all. And if I did, I'm gonna call him.

[Melissa]

I wasn't catch anything because he's too many words.

[Jen Hobby]

I may be reading between the lines on that, so I'm qualifying that myself. But if you hear him talk about that, I think that's where he's going. And then he makes it general about everyone so he doesn't seem like an egotistical jerk.

[Bart]

Well, he's certainly a confident guy, but I think that's part of his charm.

[Melissa]

Well, that's fine. I mean, we just. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm in the minority. I think most people love him so.

[Bart]

Well, here he is talking about Twitter and we try to get him on our don't refer to Atlanta as Hotlanta campaign. And I was just assuming he's going basically all through New York and Hollywood with one night stands. He says that's not the case, not even a little bit. And we do talk a little music with him. And it starts off a little awkwardly because we're all sitting around in studio waiting for John Mayer to come on. And usually there's sort of a publicist that comes on and goes. Okay, John's gonna pick up in 30 seconds. And there wasn't that person. It was just John pretending to be the publicist.

[John Mayer]

Hey, guys, I'm just coming out of commercial break, so it's gonna be about another minute and a half.

[Jen Hobby]

It's a good thing.

[John Mayer]

Hold on a second. Miller, Toyota. I will be there all day tomorrow.

[Bart]

How are you, man?

[John Mayer]

I'm tired.

[Bart]

What's the schedule like today? Why is it keeping you so tired?

[John Mayer]

Because I have a hard time coming home and going to bed. I find it to be like criminal, a criminal act to go home and go to sleep because I have to blow off a little bit of steam.

[Jen Hobby]

Right, and how do you do that?

[John Mayer]

You gotta go out. Like I tweeted last night, like, if not release week, when should I go out and party?

[Bart]

Well, we know you're very powerful in the tweeting community, and we're hoping that you buy into a campaign that we started a couple of days ago. Cuz you could really accelerate this thing so much for us.

[John Mayer]

Wow, I have that much influence and power?

[Bart]

Well, yeah, you got what, 2.3 million people that are following you. All right, follow along with this for just a second. Because you have Atlanta roots, right? Obviously.

[John Mayer]

I do, I do, yeah.

[Bart]

Here's the deal. The word Hotlanta, right, is so old school. Very old school, really old school. And we feel like it's just this cheesy reference to what is a really, really, really cool city. And the reference Hotlanta doesn't do our city justice.

[John Mayer]

Well, neither does the reference sensitive singer, songwriter, do my music justice. But you see, sometimes there's just handles that other people use, and they're broad, they don't fit, they don't feel good.

[Melissa]

Right.

[John Mayer]

But it's how people. It's how people reference who you know. We all know Atlanta's more than just Hotlanta, right? We know it's more than the Pink Pony.

[Bart]

I don't agree with your lack of fight right now.

[Emily]

It's not lack of fight.

[Jen Hobby]

It is.

[Bart]

You are giving up.

[John Mayer]

It's choosing what. It's choosing what to object to.

[Jen Hobby]

It's battle studies. I mean, that's the album name, you

[John Mayer]

know what I'm saying?

[Jen Hobby]

This is a battle against Hotlanta.

[John Mayer]

Think globally, act locally is what you're saying.

[Bart]

You got it, man. We are same page right now, dude.

[John Mayer]

Got it, got it. So basically, while everyone's homes are being foreclosed on, I don't care about that. You guys just want the password? Cause, geez, you're really sort of leaving me no option here. Why don't I just give you the login and whenever you guys need to just share a thought or two, you

[Bart]

know, what do you. I mean, Twitter must be filling some kind of hole for you. Like, what internally do you get out of being so accessible?

[John Mayer]

I believe that the audience is now as important as the tweets itself. The tweets get their power from there being this, like, unbelievable number of people reading it.

[Bart]

Is there any fear there? Even if you created it or not? I mean, your celebrity is huge now. So is there any fear now that your celebrity becomes bigger than your music?

[John Mayer]

My friend, it has been the single most harrowing thing in my life for the last two years. I am sort of self aware and aware of other people's sort of perception enough to really feel sometimes like when I'm out there in ways I don't want to be out there, I really feel like I would hate myself. Like, I feel like I'm abusing people's, like, offending people's sensibilities.

[Bart]

It's John Mayer with The Birch Show. Q100.

[Jen Hobby]

John, girls are always swooning over you. Do you have a certain type that you think you'll settle down with?

[John Mayer]

I don't really. No, I don't. Do you? What's your type? Have you settled down already?

[Melissa]

No.

[John Mayer]

So you're single?

[Jen Hobby]

Yes.

[John Mayer]

I'm looking for someone in broadcasting.

[Bart]

This is sight unseen. This is like buying real estate without even seeing a lot.

[John Mayer]

Yeah, but you know what? I'm gonna tour a lot and I think actually the sound of your voice on the phone is gonna be a lot more important than the way you look. Okay, so let's get this going.

[Bart]

It's a telephone relationship, and it's starting right here.

[Jen Hobby]

Nice.

[John Mayer]

Well, it's fantastic. It's more calibrated than. Than someone in person.

[Jen Hobby]

But I do think that your fans want to know, like, what type of woman are you looking for? I'm not saying like blonde or brunette, but I'm saying, like, what sort of qualities does she have to have in her heart?

[Bart]

Why does he have to be looking

[John Mayer]

for just like mean and fun and unstable?

[Bart]

So like the superficial relationships and like the one night stands, do they get old?

[John Mayer]

I don't do one night stands anymore. No, I'm too freaked out about what you guys are gonna say about it the next morning that I sort of turned into a. Just. It's done strange things to my brain. I don't. I don't. I never use protection but if I did, I would worry that they would take it, steal it,

[Bart]

take your DNA.

[John Mayer]

I'm kidding. I love this. This is a joke. Everybody use protection. Because I'm. See, this is. I can't even make a joke about it because it's going to be on like a Times of India or New Delhi pop beat. Ooh, baby, He Like It Raw is going to be the. The headline or something stupid. I'm actually wearing a condom right now.

[Bart]

Is there ever a time in the day where your mind is off? Like, I can hear it going all the time, you know, like, do you ever just totally turn off?

[John Mayer]

It's really hard, you know, it's very difficult to start wishing away certain, certain parts of yourself when the whole sum of my parts has actually been really good for me, you know?

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, totally off the subject, random question. You heard about Oprah leaving her show, right?

[John Mayer]

I did.

[Jen Hobby]

Are you gonna take over?

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

No.

[Jen Hobby]

My question is, really, would you ever do a talk show? Because I know you've done the stand up thing, right?

[John Mayer]

I would like to do. I would like to do, like. Yeah, I still want to do. I still think I could do something with like a late night variety situation.

[Jen Hobby]

Is that something in development right now?

[John Mayer]

It's in development, but it's held indefinitely because I had to make the record. I couldn't wait another year to make the record. I think it would have been a bad. A bad idea. So I had to sort of like touch that base for a minute, put the record out. I'll tour on the record for a couple years and maybe in between. I just want everything else I do to be in between records. I don't want records to be in between everything else.

[Bart]

I think the album came out a couple of days ago and it's already like number one on Billboard charts or something like that. Is that when you start to get a count like that from your record people or whoever, is that intoxicating information for you?

[John Mayer]

It's intoxicating information for me by way of intoxicating information to everyone else who works with me. Like, I had my fun. Like, my feeling of number one record was when I wrote the songs or when I first heard the songs come together, first heard the mixes, first heard, you know, for everyone else, they can't have that experience yet because they didn't write the song. So I feel like when the record comes out, that's the moment of validation for everyone else. And so I see everyone else hugging and being extremely happy and being vibrant and excited about sales, which is the Indicator for them of a feeling that I've already had. You know what I mean?

[Bart]

So when you're. When you leave the studio after that very first note and it's done, you're at peace with that product.

[John Mayer]

Yeah, I have my moment with these songs long before you ever hear them.

[Emily]

Speaking of battle studies, I want to know what the real meaning of the song who says Is? Because you talked about getting stoned, and who says, but it's not a song about smoking, so what's it really about?

[John Mayer]

No, it's a song about smoking, and it's a song about not smoking, and it's a song about people who say they don't do. And it's about people who don't at all, but still understand what it's like to have a moment in their day where they go, geez, you know what? I don't hate myself right now. I'm not coming down on myself for the next three minutes. Who says I can't do what I want to do? You know, because everybody's sort of like, craning their necks, looking over at the person on the left or right of them, getting ready to say, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? It's like, everybody, stop.

[Bart]

John Mayer on Q100.

[Melissa]

Is there a song from the beginning that now you are tired of? Or are there any of your songs that you're tired of?

[John Mayer]

Sure. That's why I'll write more. And I think that's the obligation I have to people is, you know, if you're gonna take a big hit off of the set list, you better put another big hit on.

[Jen Hobby]

Have you ever banned one song from a set list?

[John Mayer]

Yeah. Yeah, but I don't ban them. I put them on the DL.

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, got it.

[John Mayer]

So Wonderland pulled a hammy. Good Wonderland is out with a pulled hamstring for the rest of the season. But Daughters was. But Daughters just returned and is now wearing a brace. So you can see, you can move them in and out, because there's gonna come a time where your body is in. Wonderland will have some sort of other layer of nostalgia or, you know, some sort of other edge to it that I think will be fun to play again.

[Bart]

Are you obligated to say that this album is the best you've ever done?

[John Mayer]

No. No, I've never. I've. I've never. I've never wanted to be one of those people. Do I come off like one of those people?

[Bart]

No, I think that when you're. When you're, you know, Doing interviews and you're doing. On a press, you know, a press tour, you're sort of obligated to say, yeah, this, I'm more proud of this work than I've ever done in.

[John Mayer]

No, I'm not more proud of this work than Continuum, but I'm not less proud of it either.

[Bart]

Well, congratulations on this one. I mean, it came out of the chute quickly. So.

[Jeff]

Yeah, Don, you talk about the high highs and the low lows and when you look back on your life, well, the weak battle studies came out and some radio station in Atlanta asked you to use your 3 million person Twitter account to ban the word Hotlanta.

[John Mayer]

You know what this is? I don't see everything coming. I don't see all great things coming. And this was a sweet, sweet surprise, by the way. I've been getting the wrap up signal from the guy at radio and I just don't care because I'm having such a good time. I don't even. I just want to see how long we can actually stay.

[Jeff]

You know what this is? This is the episode of Seinfeld. Well, Kramer wanted to see how far below empty he can take the needle. Let's just keep driving, John.

[John Mayer]

I'm like, look, if I'm not talking to these people, I'm going to be talking to some other people. And these people are nice. So why would I throw these people back in the water to talk to some other people who are annoying or obnoxious? I think I found the best boarding crew, so I'm just going to stay.

[Bart]

I hang out. I got to agree with you on a whole bunch of things you just said. Hey, John, we do appreciate your time, man. We really do.

[John Mayer]

Thanks very much. I'm going to get on this Hotlanta thing.

[Bart]

Just if you could just one real quick tweet, it would help us out.

[John Mayer]

Let me take it a new advisement under advisement and I will. Let me do a little research on this.

[Bart]

If you're blowing us off, just say you're blowing us off.

[John Mayer]

No, I'm going to focus group it.

[Jeff]

You know, that's the way all great things come about is a good solid focus group.

[John Mayer]

That's right. 18 to 24 says they. Yes, they will stop calling it Hot Land.

[Bart]

Thank you, John Mayer.

[John Mayer]

Thanks you guys.

[Bart]

Good luck, man. See you.

[John Mayer]

Okay. The bird show. You should listen to this morning show. Cause we think it's way better than other morning shows. I mean, sure, we might be a little bit biased, but I mean, just because we are that morning show, the Burt Show Q100.

[Bart]

All right, so for you hardcore John Mayer fans, we were supposed to spend eight minutes with the dude, and we ended up on the phone with him for 26 minutes, so we couldn't run the whole interview for you guys. So we've edited that. And that's what you just heard with the whole thing for you hardcores. And that's going to be up online at q100atlanta.com and in listening back to it right now, it does lose something in the edit.

[Melissa]

You think you should listen the whole thing?

[Bart]

Yeah, I do think you need. I mean, if you're a hardcore John Mayer fan, you're going to love it.

[Jeff]

So he's only got your panties halfway down at this point.

[Bart]

Yeah, but they're coming all the way off.

[Melissa]

One side's down, one cheek showing.

[Jeff]

That's really an awkward sentence if somebody didn't hear the beginning of the interview.

[Jen Hobby]

Exactly.

[John Mayer]

Think about it.

[Bart]

Hey, Kendall. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Hey, I love you guys.

[Bart]

Thank you. Loving you right back, darling.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

I have to say that I completely agree with Melissa. This dude just loves to hear himself talk.

[Bart]

He's good at it, but he's good at it.

[Melissa]

That's why. That's why the interview lasted 26 minutes. Oh, my goodness.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

And I totally also agree with the fact that if he was not a talented musician, which I also think he is, that he would just be, like, a regular guy. He would not be getting all these hot chicks to just, you know, like you said, lose their panties over him,

[Jeff]

you know, and birds.

[Jen Hobby]

It's not just chicks and birds.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Exactly, exactly. And Bart, too. So, yeah, I think he's kind of just very. Got a huge ego.

[John Mayer]

Huge.

[Melissa]

Well, and I think that Jen, you know, when she made the point about him dating celebrities, I think that's when he jumped the shark for a lot of people, including me, is where it was this when he started dating Jessica Simpson. That was the moment, I think I thought. Really?

[Jen Hobby]

Because at first you thought like, Jennifer Love Hewitt. You're like, oh, that's kind of cute. And she happens to be famous.

[Melissa]

She's fine. Right.

[Jen Hobby]

And then it's just kind of Simpson, and then it's Jennifer Aniston.

[Bart]

And then I don't feel any of that fallout. I wonder if women just feel differently than guys do about it.

[Val]

Maybe.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't know.

[Bart]

I'm like, all for it. Go for it, dude.

[Melissa]

Well, I just think it was the John Mayer Jessica Simpson in particular that threw me.

[Bart]

The whole interview is up online. You can hate him for 26 minutes like Melissa does. It's the Vert show.

[Jen Hobby]

I drive my bus in a busy city. That's why road safety is so important to me. I know that I must slow down and be extra careful when I make a wide turn. Buses need more room than cars. Everyone can help keep our roads safe. Next time you're driving, remember to give buses plenty of time and space to finish turning before driving ahead. Let's all plan to share the road safely. Learn how at www.sharetherodesafely.gov.

[John Mayer]

on deck is built to back small businesses like yours, whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow. G ondeck's loans up to $400,000. Make it happen fast. Rated A by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five star trust pilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in [e-mail] depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank On Deck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

[Emily]

You know what they say. Early bird gets the ultimate vacation home. Book early and save over $120 with

[Jen Hobby]

VRBO because early gets you closer to

[Emily]

the action, whether it's waves lapping at the shore or snoozing in a hammock that overlooks. Well, whatever you want it to so you can all enjoy the payoff come summer with Burpo's early booking deals. Rise and shine. Average savings $141 select homes only.

[John Mayer]

This is the Birch Show.

[Bart]

The Vent Line. The Student Vent Line is set up for a very specific reason here. You know, you're a Right now you don't feel like you're understood. Sometimes you just need to be heard.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

And a lot of people around you may not be listening to your parents, may not be listening to you, your friends, other members of your family, your teachers. So we want you to call us and let us know. And it is. Yeah, you. It's a vent line. It's a voicemail. So you just come on, you vent, you get it out, and then maybe that way you'll feel better.

[Bart]

The Phone number is 404-255-3535 and you can leave a message at any time. And I'll start playing these and you guys just tell me when you want me to pause them so you can talk about them. But Josh said there's one in here that's really pretty disturbing.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Hi. I'm really upset that there's like a Lot of clicks at schools and everything. And it's really annoying how, like, just one look can make you go into, like, social suicide. It's so annoying. So I'm glad you guys are letting this event because it's really helping me. Okay, bye.

[Bart]

Hey.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

I go to high school and to college, and I know a girl who is doing the same thing as me and all. She doesn't do anything and gets away with it. She lies to her parents and all she does is party. I work my butt off in school and she thinks it's a joke, and it really, really upsets me. Anyways, thanks for the rant line.

[Bart]

I had a roommate like that also that used to party all the time, was out till all hours of the night. And just had one of those photographic memories, though, so he would never have to study for a test. He'd be busting my ass, man, studying all the time. And I'd end up with, like, a C and he'd get, like, a 98.

[Jeff]

And that'll make you hate him.

[Melissa]

Hated him.

[Bart]

Hated him.

[Emily]

We call those kids the slacker kids, but they got good grades.

[Bart]

Yeah, they're not really slackers because they did get good grades, you know, you just didn't need to try.

[Melissa]

I think it'll catch up with them, though, if you don't have habits of, like, I don't know, I just feel like, stick, you know, stick to your guns. Do, you know, study, do your thing. And don't worry about them so much.

[Bart]

At some point, they have to apply themselves.

[Melissa]

At some point that's going to catch up to them.

[Bart]

You won't see it.

[Melissa]

Yeah, you won't see it. You won't get the satisfaction going, Ha, ha. Look at you. But it will catch up.

[Emily]

It continues in college because all you have is exams in college, right? So you get to sleep through class.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Yes. I'm on my way to take a Spanish midterm with teacher I absolutely hate. First off, she's not even Spanish, so I don't understand how she's teaching it in the first place. And she can't even, like. She doesn't even have a fluent accent. And then she wants to, like, just judge us on how we talk and speak Spanish. And it just really me off. And I guarantee you that not one thing that she has, quote, taught in the class will be on the test. So let me get off the phone because I'm walking into class and about to fail Spanish test. Thanks. I love.

[Jen Hobby]

And I love the fact that she

[Melissa]

said and she judges us instead of it grading us, judges us on our accents.

[Bart]

What a great thing to say when you get a grade back. Why are you judging me?

[Jeff]

You're always evaluating everything I do.

[Melissa]

Get off my back.

[Jeff]

And ranking me with other people. He's higher than you.

[Melissa]

She's.

[Jeff]

He's lower than you.

[Emily]

Balaciento, Jeff.

[Bart]

That's great. All right, this last one, I think, is the one that Josh said is kind of disturbing.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Here. Oh, my God. My boyfriend has this stupid ex girlfriend that looks like Shamu. She will not go away. She calls his mom, she calls his brothers and his sisters, and I cannot take it. I swear, I want to go rip her weave out of her hair. I cannot stand her. She comes around to where he works, and I swear, one day I'm going to get her alone and I'm going to beat the crap out of her.

[Jeff]

Oh, good point.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

And rip her weave out and hang it from a street post. Thanks.

[Bart]

She's got a plan and everything. Going to take the weave out and hang it from a post.

[Emily]

That's a lot of talk.

[Bart]

We've said it's just for venting, you know? Yeah.

[Jeff]

I appreciate you. We're halfway through a woman who's thorough and thinks plans through, and that's good.

[Emily]

Yeah, it's halfway through the semester. Things get a little more edgy during the middle of the school year, for God's sake.

[Bart]

Good morning, Kim. You're on Q100.

[John Mayer]

Yes. I was gonna say, why don't y'

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

all have a teacher event line?

[Bart]

Oh, that's a good idea, too. When we're done with the student event line, we'll turn it into our teacher event line. Oh, that's a really good idea.

[Emily]

Yeah, we have to do that for the second part of the school year because that's when teachers get the most frustrated.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Thank you.

[Bart]

I appreciate. Yeah. To get you guys, like, through those last three weeks of school when you're just ready to explode. That's a great idea. We'll do that.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Okay, good. Thank you.

[Bart]

Thanks, Cam. Student vent line. The bird show.

[Jen Hobby]

At vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support. So we've planned for the plot twists. Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO care guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in between, and after your trip. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist. But we've got the peace of mind part covered

[Bart]

the first show. All right, Everybody's got stresses About Thanksgiving, man. Travel stresses. How you gonna get there? Wendy here is cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time.

[Emily]

That's stressful enough, but nothing like this girl, apparently.

[Bart]

Yeah, Val here is gonna need.

[Emily]

I mean, I thought I had problems.

[Bart]

This is going to be an Academy Award performance. Hey, Val. Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Val (Caller)]

I am.

[Bart]

You are?

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Yes.

[Val (Caller)]

Okay.

[Bart]

Hi. Shalom,

[Emily]

Bert. Your father, your fellow brethren.

[Jeff]

Shalom.

[Bart]

So how long have you been going out with this dude now?

[Val (Caller)]

For about six months now.

[Bart]

Six months now. Okay, so why the initial need to lie to him and tell him that you're Jewish?

[Val (Caller)]

Well, we met at this fundraising event, and it was a predominantly Jewish event, and we just really hit off. And, you know, he is really hot. So I don't think I was in the right mind not to totally defend myself, but it was just kind of off the cuff. He's like, you're Jewish, right? And I was like, mm. You know, and I just didn't think, you know, this was going to be. I don't know. I just didn't think. Anyway, we just. Ever since then, it's been like, kind of a. We haven't really discussed it because, you know, it was one of those things where I was just like, oh, well, I'm Jewish, but I'm not really, you know, active in my. In my faith. It's like, my family is, but I'm not. And he says he's the same way.

[Bart]

Well, so long as the blood is Jewish. He's thinking, it doesn't matter if she's active. It's still Jewish blood, so it's cool to hang out with.

[Melissa]

That is hilarious, because how many times have people. And I'll throw this on guys. I mean, guys always get creative in trying to get the girl. And there are times that guys have lied about their profession or, like, you know, and here you didn't go into it with a deliberate lie, but it was a reaction. But it's just like.

[Emily]

It's just like, we just want to fit in.

[Melissa]

It's had to last six months, and now it's catching up with you because

[Emily]

you gotta go see the family. It's like saying you want to go to the new, hottest restaurant. Oh, yeah, I've been there. Of course.

[Bart]

Melissa, even though you've never been there,

[Emily]

she just wanted to fit in. So.

[Jen Hobby]

Yes.

[Bart]

Hasn't it come. Does it come up, like, on Jewish holidays? Because there seems to be, like, a Jewish holiday twice a week or something like that. Like, doesn't it come up, like, on Jewish Holidays or. He hasn't called you out on it at all?

[Val (Caller)]

Well, like, apparently, you know, his. See, he. I guess, like, the bigger holidays were like in like September or something. And he was really, really busy with work. And so it wasn't like necessary for him or he couldn't go home for them. So. But the problem now is that my whole family has completely fallen apart. My parents are getting separated, so Thanksgiving is just not happening. So he's felt really bad for me because all the stuff that's been going on, he was like, come to my parents house for Thanksgiving. And then before I could say yes or no, he called his mother and put her on speakerphone. It's like, hey, Matt, my girlfriend Val's coming to Thanksgiving, and guess what? This one's Jewish.

[Emily]

So he thinks you are the first girl he's dated that's Jewish.

[Bart]

So it's probably been. It's probably been like a source of tension that she wants him to date Jewish girls, but he doesn't. And now she's gonna be excited cause he's bringing home a nice Jewish girl

[Melissa]

and he's trying to be sweet because your family, he doesn't want you to have a depressing Thanksgiving.

[Jeff]

So when do you head home

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

to go?

[Val (Caller)]

Tomorrow night.

[Bart]

So you're spending the whole four days there?

[Val (Caller)]

Yeah. And I just don't know, like. And this is. And I hope I don't sound pretty. I am pretty ignorant, but I just don't understand. Like, there's a lot of customs and cultures.

[Jeff]

That's why you called Mer, can't you.

[Bart]

Well, I mean, because I'm a little busy the next day, but isn't there like a Rosetta Stone Jewish version that you could.

[Emily]

Well, it's not a language. It's a religion.

[Val (Caller)]

Actually, if there was.

[Emily]

It's not a language.

[Bart]

Yiddish. You can learn Yiddish in just 48 hours.

[Emily]

All she needs to know is Hanukkah. Just know when that is.

[Bart]

Hey, Alex, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[John Mayer]

Hey, this girl's screwed, man. I mean, it's a Jewish mom. As soon as she finds out that she's a gentile, I mean, she's just done for. I mean, does this girl know any Yiddish or anything to throw in there?

[Bart]

You don't know anything, do you?

[John Mayer]

Okay, honey, you're gonna have to say, I mean, I'm engaged you. So I'm gonna hook you up real quick. Okay? So here's Linda Richmond for you. You need at least say, I can vault to Shmir four times during the conversation. As soon as you meet the woman, say, mazel tough. And you know, oy vey, oy vey through the evening. I don't know. But I mean, you're just setting yourself up for a disaster here. Because when she finds out you're a Gentile, I will make sure that. I mean, that woman will make sure the relationship is completely done via.

[Bart]

Well, it sounds like he has been dating non Jews his whole life. And that's why the mom's all excited that he's finally bringing a Jewish woman home, you know?

[John Mayer]

Well, I mean, that's just not the way to set things up. She set herself up for failure there. She just needed to tell him that she's a gentile and she has no problem with Jews and she knows how to make some good matzo balls.

[Bart]

Yeah, I mean, I think that you should entirely bail on the weekend. I gotta be honest with you. Because there's no way she's so excited that you're Jewish. As soon as you walk in the door, she's gonna bombard you with, like, Jewish questions that you can't answer.

[Jeff]

What? Now? What kind of Jewish questions are you gonna get bombarded with?

[Bart]

Where do you go to temple?

[Jeff]

And you say.

[Bart]

You say Beth Shalom.

[Jeff]

No, just say Beth Shalom, Sandy Springs.

[Bart]

You're screwed.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I agree. I think the fact that the Yiddish is going to be thrown around. I think that you got it difficult.

[Jeff]

Google Yiddish. Yiddish, hang on. Slang.

[Emily]

Just bring the Black Eyed Peace song in and they say mazel tov a couple times.

[Bart]

You're screwed.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah.

[Bart]

And then to get to. And then he's gonna find out in front of his parents for the first time. You must not go this. This Thanksgiving. You have to avoid it altogether or come clean to him before you leave.

[Melissa]

Then the kosher and then what you put together and then what you fix together. I mean, there's. There's all kinds of customs that you're gonna violate when you're there.

[Jeff]

You don't have to cook him and do what he does. You are fine.

[Bart]

You can't pull this off.

[Jeff]

Listen, No, I think it's so much more strict if they're doing the whole. If they're strict and they're doing the kosher and the separate plate sets and the separate dishwashers and whatnot. You get behind him in the food line and you do what he does and you don't mix your stuff on the plate.

[Bart]

No, no. Abort mission.

[Jeff]

You know what kosher is, right?

[Val (Caller)]

Is it when. That's. Except it's like, cool. Like, you know, I say, oh, you know, like. Well, no, no. People use it, like, all the time. Like, it's like, oh, yeah, that shirt, that's kosher.

[Emily]

Oh, no, it doesn't mean everything's Permission.

[Bart]

You cannot go.

[Melissa]

I want her to go.

[Bart]

Hey, Natalie, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[John Mayer]

Hi.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

I just wanted to chime in and

[Val (Caller)]

say that everybody is scaring her.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

You guys are scaring her. I come from a Jewish family, and they are not strict. And so she could just say that they're not practicing strict Jewish people.

[Melissa]

Well, let me ask you a question. If he feels the need to first, when he first meets her, ask her if she's Jewish, and then immediately on the phone with his mom, say, this one's Jew. I mean, like, don't you think that that family's a little more strict than yours? Might be.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

It could be. But then, you know, she doesn't need to know all the details. Yeah, she knows about Hanukkah.

[Bart]

So, Natalie, it's possible that if she walks in the door and mom's all excited that she's Jewish. If she just says, yes, I'm Jewish by blood, but my parents didn't really raise me with Hebrew school or anything like that.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Exactly.

[Bart]

Then she could pull it off me,

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

because that's what happened to me.

[Jeff]

I think now you have to. Within a few minutes of meeting the parents, you have to compliment their son's circumcision. That's Jewish. That's Jewish custom.

[Emily]

Kosher with the circumcision.

[Melissa]

No, see, the doctors did a great job on your circumcision.

[Jeff]

It's not doctors.

[Melissa]

I mean, the. I'm a gentile.

[Bart]

You're not allowed to go either.

[Melissa]

Gentiles. The doctors do it.

[Bart]

Hey, Ben.

[John Mayer]

Yeah, hey.

[Bart]

Hey. We've got Val here. She's been going out with this guy for six months and pretty much lying to him that she's Jewish. And now she's going over to his parents house for the first time. It's Thanksgiving, and there's no way she can pull this off, right?

[John Mayer]

Oh, yeah, there's 100%. I feel like she should go. 100%. Val, go. The mother will be so excited that her son finally brought home a. A Jewish girl. There's no way she's gonna bombard you with questions that you can't answer. I think you should 100% go. And I don't know you can pull it off. I feel like you can do it.

[Bart]

Your only defense really is what I. What really is my History is to say that, yeah, both of my parents are Jewish, but they never made me go to Hebrew school. And I don't know anything about the religion at all. So it's my blood, but I just don't know anything about it. If you say that, I think that's the only way out.

[Melissa]

And then if you ask her questions and want to learn from her, then you can develop a relationship with her.

[Val (Caller)]

Yeah, but at the same time, I'm worried that if it's like, you know, a lie in general. I mean, gosh, I know I lied.

[Melissa]

You've been lying the whole time.

[Val (Caller)]

Yeah, but it wasn't like, hey, on a daily basis. You're Jewish, right?

[Bart]

Yeah, sure.

[Val (Caller)]

You know, it was more like just the first time we met, and we never really. We've never really discussed it other than the fact that we both, you know, aren't active at all in our faith. It's more cultural, you know,

[Jeff]

I was just gonna say you should get on the Internet and learn some, like, tell a lot of anti Jesus jokes and, like, anti Christian Jewish people.

[Emily]

That's great advice, Jeff.

[Jeff]

Anti Christian jokes.

[Melissa]

That's what they sit around and do all day.

[Jeff]

And then. Yeah, and comments like that. And then every now and again, just reference Israel and Gaza and just throw those in there.

[Bart]

Like, don't listen to a word he said.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God. Anyway, how serious are you with the boyfriend? I mean, six months. You kind of have a feeling on how this may go.

[Val (Caller)]

He's awesome. I mean, he's really awesome. The only thing that is giving me any sort of feeling of ick is the fact that I lied to him at the very beginning.

[Bart]

Sure.

[Jeff]

It's not making you feel ick. It's making you feel verklempt.

[Melissa]

The reason I ask is because if you think this is really a serious relationship and it's gonna really go down the serious path, I do think that if you go this weekend, you need to charm that mother as much as possible, because you're gonna end up having to ask for her forgiveness before this is over with.

[Bart]

This is not starting off on a really good side.

[John Mayer]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

So you need to be as charming so that she doesn't want to lose you as a person when you end up having to fess up.

[Bart]

Hey, Val, you know, we gotta talk to you on Monday morning and find out how this whole thing concluded, okay?

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Okay. Thanks, guys.

[Bart]

All right. Good luck. I say bail. I say bail. And don't even deal with it, man.

[Emily]

You know what, Bert? Everything's gonna be kosher.

[Bart]

Everything is kosher, dude.

[Jeff]

Especially that shirt you're wearing.

[Bart]

The bird show.

[John Mayer]

The bird show.

[Bart]

Joanna here got a pretty exciting weekend ahead of you. Her and Gen hobby may as well. Although I'm looking at it right, and she's fading fast.

[Jen Hobby]

I just don't feel very good.

[Bart]

I know you don't, but Joanna here has really stretched herself a little bit.

[Val]

I wouldn't say it's an exciting weekend. I think I'm testing myself this weekend. Kind of my endurance and just to see how far I can push myself. About a month. No, about two months ago, Jason signed up for the Atlanta Marathon, which is going on on Thanksgiving Day.

[Bart]

I didn't even know there was a marathon going on.

[Emily]

Okay, so tomorrow.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Yeah.

[Bart]

That's ambitious right there. Is he a runner? Like a full on runner?

[Val]

I mean, he runs every day for the army. They'd run every morning for pt and so he's about running five to six miles a day.

[Val (Caller)]

And.

[Val]

And because I'm such a great girlfriend and I love him so much, I decided to support him in this and I signed up for the half marathon.

[Bart]

Okay.

[Val]

But I'm not a runner. Like I can barely run. I mean, not barely because I don't test myself. I just don't like doing something repetitive for a long period of time. And this is 13 miles.

[Jen Hobby]

And sweating messes up your hair. You can't have that the rest of the day. And you get a shower and redo your hair and makeup.

[Val]

I know, it's exhausting because then your face, your makeup is running down your face. It's really hard to look cute. And apparently they're gonna be taking pictures, so.

[Bart]

Oh no.

[Val]

And I just want to make sure they know that I look good from the left side, not from the right side.

[Jeff]

Let's get all Mariah Carey on the run.

[Bart]

How long is, you know, Hour wise, should 13 miles take you to run?

[Val]

Well, the other day I was on the treadmill for four miles and that took me about an hour, so.

[Bart]

What?

[Melissa]

What?

[Val]

Yes.

[Jeff]

So you run a 15 minute mile slow?

[Val]

Because I don't want to. Like one time I try to run kind of fast and I thought I was going to throw up after three miles, so I was like. And Jason told me that if you feel like you're running too slow, slow down because you don't want to overdo it. And I just, you know, and then when I tell other runners about this, they're like, oh, have you felt that runner's high? And I was like, no, but there's a runner's high. Where do you get that? And they're like, you gotta roll it

[Bart]

and smoke it before you go.

[Val]

And they're like, well, once you reach, like, once you've been running for a certain amount of time, you reach this high and you feel like you can keep going. But I think they're lying because I feel like they're just saying this.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I've never felt it either.

[Melissa]

There's propaganda for runners to try to suck you in.

[Val]

I feel like one guy said it and the other guy didn't want to feel left out.

[Bart]

I agree.

[Val]

So he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, me too. So now it's this big conspiracy that there's this run high out there. And I don't think it's really.

[Jen Hobby]

You get the buzz, though, after working out. You know what that is?

[Bart]

No, I have. I have tried to run to get to that. And I am with Joanna. I don't think it exists either. And Stacy's gotten it. She's gotten there. Last year was really high.

[Jeff]

Bird's buzz comes from. He does a bong hit at the top of every sit up.

[Bart]

That's me. Is it working out hot?

[Val]

But I'm so nervous about it because yesterday I went to go pick up my number and there's all these, like, really intense runners around me. Like, we were at the intercontinent.

[Bart]

Were they wearing, like, their running shorts to get their numbers?

[Jen Hobby]

Come on.

[Emily]

They ran to get their numbers.

[Val]

Yeah, they were probably running.

[Jeff]

Yeah, they're in line like this. You got my number.

[Val]

Yeah. They're like, jogging in place.

[Emily]

I just ran 12 miles to get

[Val]

here, and I was mad that I had to park kind of far and walk into the dang place. I was like, dang it.

[Bart]

How much have you trained for this? Because this is not something you can do if you only do four miles on a treadmill. You can't just pick up and do 13 first.

[Val]

The furthest I've been is six miles. So this is gonna be a test, you know? And then Jason's like, well, babe, it's just really gonna test your strength. And then that's even more pressure.

[Bart]

Yeah.

[Val]

You know? Cause I don't want to look like a failure in front of him. I want him to know that he's

[Jen Hobby]

doing the whole thing.

[Val]

He's doing the whole marathon.

[Bart]

And he's one of these guys. I'm assuming that Jason is very like, get a goal, work towards your goal, Succeed at your goal, and there is no failure.

[Val]

He's one of those, like, motivators like, when we're running together, he's constantly motivating me, and I just look and I'm like, just die. Just fall over.

[Melissa]

Just shut. Just shut up.

[Jeff]

You know what I think would be awesome? Is there any chance Jason's listening right now?

[Val]

He may be.

[Jeff]

I think this would be awesome. Jason, I think you should propose at the end of the race when she

[Bart]

looks like she does, as soon as the race ends.

[Jeff]

And I'll tell you what, you want to do that? Go ahead and send me a text. I'll hire a photographer and a videographer.

[Jen Hobby]

No, that's awesome.

[Bart]

Hey, Taylor, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Yeah. Joanna, I just ran my first marathon, and it was seriously. I mean, I was scared to death, but I did put on mascara, so I understand. You know, you gotta do a little something, but really, people watch. People watch will get you through it, I promise.

[Jeff]

Really?

[Melissa]

Did you walk at all, or did you run the whole way?

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Well, I ran the whole way because on one of my trainings, it was like 20 miles, and I stopped and I thought my body was gonna, like, give out. But people watch and I swear, do not get discouraged, because you will see people that will be running past you, that you're like, how are you even running? But seriously, just get through it. And I promise, people watch will. Will make it a fun adventure.

[Bart]

So now she's assuming that you're going to be keeping up enough to where there's going to be people around you, right?

[Val]

Well, no, because there'll be people on the side. I think that's what she meant, right? Like the people on the side watching the race, watching the runners. But the funny thing is that Jason's like, you're not gonna be the slowest one. I'm like, well, there has to be a slowest one. And it probably will be me. I don't know.

[Jeff]

That'd be awesome.

[Val]

All the way in the back.

[Jeff]

That would be. If you're the slowest. I mean, you gotta have. You gotta own that. If you're the slowest one, just own it and be happy.

[Bart]

I think if you just get through with it. I mean. Yeah. Just doing it, is it really. It sounds like a cliche.

[Melissa]

That's a hell of a lot more than most are doing it.

[Bart]

Hell, yeah. That's a long way to go. 13 miles.

[Val]

It really. I mean, six miles is a long way to go. I can't even picture. I just. It's making my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

[Jeff]

And now you said you did the four Miles or you did four miles on the treadmill.

[Val]

This was the other day because I was really gross outside and I didn't want to run outside.

[Jeff]

I've been. It's been a while since I've ran. Really?

[John Mayer]

Since ever.

[Jeff]

Ever since, I think, high school when I got chased by a dog. But isn't there a significant difference between road running and treadmill running?

[Bart]

Oh, yeah, it's a total difference. So it's probably the equivalent of two miles of road running is what you did right there.

[Val]

No, I think road running is a lot easier.

[Emily]

Oh, it's tougher.

[Val]

No, I think it's easier because I feel like I have more to look at and more to.

[Bart]

Okay, if that's what you gotta go with, then you're.

[Val]

Let me believe what I want to believe.

[Melissa]

Katie says that Katie cannot stand treadmill running because she. She gets bored.

[Val]

So I don't.

[Melissa]

I think once you're in the moment and you're there and like this listener said, with all the people, it'll be fine. But I. Is it wrong that the people you. Because you talk about runners, like there's different levels of runners. And the ones that get on my nerves if I'm driving because I'm in the car are the ones that when they get to an intersection and they keep jogging and check their pole. Oh, and I think, okay, you're posing for everybody around you.

[Val]

Can I just say, that's my favorite.

[Jen Hobby]

Feel superior to you.

[Emily]

There is a runner's stretch. When you're running, you have a strike going because you're like, you all are in the car and I'm running.

[Bart]

That's not fair because you're start. You're trying to stay warm so you can continue.

[Melissa]

Are you one of these runners?

[Bart]

I don't hardly run at all, but when I do, I am a self.

[Val]

My favorite part of it.

[Melissa]

And you. Do you check your. Keep it going?

[Bart]

No, I don't check my course not.

[Val]

My favorite part of running is when I do have to stop to let the traffic go by because then I get to rest.

[Jeff]

But in the half marathon, that's not going to happen. Closed lanes of traffic, there's no stopping.

[Jen Hobby]

No.

[Bart]

You can walk, though. You'll be fine. You'll be fine.

[Val]

I don't want to walk. I don't want. I do not want to even think that walking is an option. I want to finish it running.

[Melissa]

Okay, you'll do it.

[Jen Hobby]

You'll do it.

[Melissa]

You're going to do it.

[Jen Hobby]

You're competitive enough that you'll do it

[Bart]

and Jason will push you along. You'll be cool.

[Jeff]

He's doing the full marathon.

[Val]

He's gone before I do. That's going to be really embarrassing.

[Bart]

Oh, it's not even going to be close. He's going to be so far ahead of you. All right now, Jen Hobby could potentially have an exciting weekend this weekend also.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, potentially. But I have not been feeling good. I of this cold from my new godson over the weekend. So I am kind of struggling with this and was out sick yesterday.

[Melissa]

Is that your relationship? Starting with him? What with your godson?

[Bart]

He's already.

[Jeff]

Go ahead.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Sorry.

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, I thought you meant what I'm about the person I'm about to talk about. Anyway, so I got an email through the listener email account the other day from an old friend from high school who I literally haven't seen since high school.

[Bart]

Oh, how old is she?

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, it's a he.

[Bart]

Oh, it's a he. So it's a guy that contacted you that you may see over the weekend. That's a guy?

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah.

[Bart]

Is this an old boyfriend?

[Jen Hobby]

No, not at all. No. He was a year older than me in school. Always a really good looking guy. But I didn't really know him that well, like, which is odd because I've told you guys before, I went to a teeny tiny little private school growing up. I graduated with 19 people in my class. So the entire high school had maybe a little over a hundred people in it. That's the Entire High School 9 through 12. So everybody knew everybody and everybody knew everybody's business. But I didn't know him that well. I just kind of knew him from afar. He was friends with some of my guy friends, whatever. But anyway, he just randomly reached out and I think had been living overseas for a couple of years and came back and is now living in Florida and said he was gonna be around. So I was like, oh, that's cool, whatever. Didn't really think much about it. And then we exchanged phone numbers via the email and he sent me a text like right away and it was like, looking forward to seeing you. Oh, hey.

[Bart]

And did you say that you went online to check out what he looks like now?

[Jen Hobby]

No, I haven't. I showed.

[Emily]

You have no idea.

[Bart]

I'm surprised you've gone this long. That is.

[Emily]

Yeah, I would have had to do it as soon as I got the email.

[Melissa]

Are you afraid though to see?

[Jen Hobby]

Well, a little, because I remember him being so good looking like however many years ago. Like I'm kind of hoping he's gonna Be that good looking now, but I have no idea.

[Jeff]

You know how Jen rolls. She'll drink himself drink it. She'll drink him. Attractive.

[Bart]

Well, a lot of those guys, like I know at my reunion, like some of the best looking dudes sort of let themselves go as they get older and they're not that guy anymore.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, I can't remember how to spell his last name. I'm gonna have to look it up.

[Emily]

Does he still live there or is he just visiting family too?

[Jen Hobby]

He moved back to Florida.

[Bart]

Okay, I'm really surprised that you haven't picked up the phone and got recon on this guy. Like a scouting reporter called one of your friends and said, hey, what does Johnny look like or whatever his name is?

[Jen Hobby]

It's been so long ago. Oh, he is cute.

[Melissa]

Oh, you guys cannot.

[Jen Hobby]

You have to promise me. You cannot say his name.

[Melissa]

I'm gonna say his name.

[Bart]

We won't say his name.

[Jeff]

What?

[Jen Hobby]

Promise me you won't say his name.

[Jeff]

Cover it up because I'll slip up. Put your finger over his name.

[John Mayer]

Cute.

[Listener Caller (Student Vent Line)]

Cute.

[Bart]

Is he good looking dude?

[John Mayer]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Dimples.

[Jeff]

He looks just like her dad. That's weird.

[Jen Hobby]

No he doesn't. Let me see his picture.

[Emily]

She's cute.

[Jen Hobby]

That is so funny because he looks exactly like he did in high school.

[Bart]

So you still think he's hot?

[Jeff]

It's probably his high school picture.

[Bart]

Oh yeah, he's a good looking dude. Okay, I bet you now you're gonna take that, that Dayquil and the Afrin and everything.

[Melissa]

Natty pot. Do everything you gotta do to get this going.

[Emily]

Ginger shot.

[Bart]

Okay, so does that make you feel a little bit better about meeting up with him or does it have just the opposite effect? Cause he's still good looking. Now maybe you don't want to go because you won't be 100%.

[Jen Hobby]

Because I don't feel good. Yeah, I think it'll just depend. I think it'll just depend on what's going on scheduling wise with my family and how I'm feeling.

[Val]

Yeah.

[Jen Hobby]

Because I'm not gonna go showing up like with a head cold. That's gross.

[Emily]

But if he's gonna be.

[Jen Hobby]

What I'm saying, like, I'm just putting myself. If I was going to meet up with somebody and I hadn't seen a long time and I might be potentially interested in and they showed up all sick and snotty, I'd be like, ew,

[Melissa]

you don't wanna have to blow your face.

[Jen Hobby]

So I don't wanna be that person that gets on the other end of

[Melissa]

the idol if he's living down there though. And are you planning on being at home for a Christmas at any point? So see, there's the potential for Christmas. Thanksgiving doesn't happen.

[Bart]

So this is really the bump and set right here. This is the first bump.

[Jen Hobby]

I have to add him. I should. Is it too aggressive to add him as a friend on Facebook?

[Jeff]

Yes. Don't do it now.

[Melissa]

Not until after the weekend.

[Bart]

Yeah, too close to the weekend right now.

[Jeff]

After you've seen him naked, after you've

[Melissa]

talked to him this weekend, then you can add him.

[Jen Hobby]

Then you can add him.

[Emily]

Just ask him if he has a Facebook.

[Val]

Like you don't know.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay.

[Jeff]

You gotta run by Fredericks or something before you head down there.

[Emily]

Dude, it's Victoria's Secret.

[Melissa]

Fredericks.

[Bart]

That's the good stuff. The third show.