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Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
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Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
The Birch Show I have a couple of friends in this unique situation and I'm just wondering how they deal with it. It's actually three sets of couples where one of them in the relationship drinks alcohol and the other one doesn't like really at all. And in a couple of the two out of the three couples, the one person that doesn't really drink only drinks like occasionally or would have like one glass of wine or like one beer and then that's it. They just don't like it doesn't make them feel good. So they just, they just don't drink and Then their partner drinks a lot. And so, and this is in two of the couples and then in the third couple, I don't know them as well, but it seems that one doesn't drink at all. And I'm not sure for what reasons, but then the other one does drink. So I just am curious because it seems to me to be an issue that continually comes up, especially in the two couples that I know better than the others. It seems to be a constant recurring issue because the one who doesn't drink tends to end up taking care of or being the designated driver or whatever for the one who does drink.
Radio Host
Do they seem to mind or are they cool with it?
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
Yeah, no, I think they seem to mind. It seems to be an issue in the relationship because the one who doesn't drink always seems to feel like this responsibility and this irritation by the one who does drink.
Caller/Participant Commenting on Drinking
They feel like a parent because you have to watch out, you have to be the designated driver. I don't know how that could work.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
And they always want to go home earlier than the one who wants to drink. You know, they're ready, you know, if they go to a party or gathering or whatever, like one hour and done, they're good to go after like one hour. They want to visit, chit chat, whatever. And then they're ready to go home and turn on the movie and veg out or go to bed or they
Radio Host
don't have the alcohol to make everybody else interested. Right.
Caller/Participant Commenting on Drinking
Well, nothing's worse than being at a party full of drunk people and you're the sober one because everything is ten times more annoying.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
Yeah. So anyway, I just don't know how they do it, I don't know how they handle it. And I wonder if it's something that would eventually split them up because the three couples I'm talking about are just dating, they're not married couples. So at that point, you know, it could be, it could become a deal breaker at one point.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
See now it's been just the opposite experience for me when I've known couples that have been in this situation. Cuz generally the person that doesn't drink is a control person. It's the reason why they don't drink is because they like being in control and the alcohol sort of takes over and they don't drink, feel in control anymore. So there's, They've never said it publicly to me before, but I wonder if you're, if you're, if we're playing psychologists, if there's a certain amount of like, if they enjoy Being that controller of their spouse. Like they get to control the relationship in that part because the spouse is sort of out of control and they're so.
Radio Host
It's a, it's a power, weird veiled power thing.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
It's their comfort zone. They're comfortable in control. So if their spouse drinks, it's actually makes them more attractive to you because in that case you get to be in control. Does that make any sense?
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
I understand where you're coming from, but the couples that I know, it seems to end up being more of an irritation to them. They're always irritated at the drinking or at the stupid things that the person who's drinking says, or at the not wanting to get up early in the morning and get motivated the next day. And like all of the, like, to me it seems like a constant source of irritation for the person who doesn't drink in the relationship. And like, it's like a roll their eyes, totally annoyed, frustrated thing rather than a control thing. But I understand the psychology where you're coming from. I just don't know how it works because I don't know, like, I think if you both want to go out and have a good time together and you're both drinking, you have a good time. You know what, just take a cab out, take a cab home, and you know what I'm saying, like call it a day and you're at least on the same page. Or if you both don't drink at all, then you just do different things and you don't go out to the bars and you do, you know, totally different things on the weekend. Then it seems to me that it would work and that it would eventually work if these couples were to get married then to move forward and to have children and all that kind of stuff.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
404-741-Q100 hey, Dana.
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
Hey, good morning. How are you guys?
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Great, thank you.
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
We had just had this fight with my boyfriend over the weekend. It was his birthday and you know, he drank a whole bottle. And maybe because I don't drink, this may not be a lot, but he drunk a whole bottle of Hennessy and had go to work the next morning at 7:30. And it just really annoyed me that you would be that irresponsible to drink that much, knowing that you have to get up early in the morning. And I mean to me he drinks a lot. And again, I don't drink at all. So what I may think is a lot may not be a lot, but it's just, you know, and then, you know, he Complains about. He doesn't have money for this, but you can find $30 for something that you know is just damaging. I think our relationship is so annoying to me.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Is it a deal breaker at some point?
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
You know, eventually, I think so, because this is the one area that I really just get so annoyed with him. And, you know, he smokes. I don't smoke either. So it's just, like, all the habits that I don't have, he has. And, I mean, he's a good person, but it's just really annoying at this point, I don't know what to do.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
It just seems like, yeah, if you guys are gonna be together long term and get married and have a family and have children, like, you need to be on the same page with all of. To me, from the outside looking in. It would only continue to look to make it worse and to divide you as a couple.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Hey, Kelly. Good morning. You're on Q100.
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
Good morning.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Good morning.
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
I just want to say that I am a total control freak. Bert, you are totally right. I do not drink, but my husband does.
Caller/Participant Commenting on Drinking
Everywhere we go, does it cause any fights ever?
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
No. No.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Because that's your place of comfort right there. Right?
Radio Host
You're totally okay with it.
Caller Sharing Personal Experience
Yes. I will maybe have one or two drinks, but it's not like I'm not ever the one that gets totally wasted. He is.
Caller/Participant Commenting on Drinking
I think it's different when you don't drink at all than if you can have one or two drinks. So I think you can sometimes understand it.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Yeah. Stace and I are kind of dabbling in this right now. We had a couple of really bad weekends as far as drinking goes, and we have both decided to handle it differently. I have gone cold turkey. I'm just like, I don't want to drink. In fact, I was out with these guys on Friday night at Stats and just decided, I don't want one sip of alcohol.
Radio Host
We were at Stats, and we were at the tap tables where the beer is delivered to you.
Weight Loss Advertiser
I had to do it right there
Radio Host
at the table like a spring.
Caller/Participant Commenting on Drinking
And you didn't drink at all?
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
I didn't have one sip of alcohol that. Not one.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
I mean, I had a pretty fancy club soda.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
It was hard, and it was really difficult. Cause when you're not drinking, that beer looked like it came right out of a commercial.
Radio Host
And I'll tell you what, it looks
Caller/Participant Commenting on Drinking
like the best beer you could ever
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
drink ever seen in my life.
Radio Host
And the funny thing was, there were a bunch of us standing around, and I said, hey, Y', all, I think I'm gonna. I'm starving, so I'm gonna go over to stats and get a sandwich and a beer. You guys want to come over? And I look at Burr and he just looked the same.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
But I've decided to go cold turkey. And Stacey thinks that that doesn't prove anything. That if we're gonna control our alcohol, that having one or two would prove much more than not having any at all.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
I agree with her.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
I don't know which one is better, but I know. I know the route I'm going, and that's going cold turkey.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
Yeah.
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
I can wean myself back into one
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
or two because it's like the all things in moderation, right?
Caller/Participant Discussing Control and Drinking
Yeah. And I'm not at this point, I'm not capable of that right now, so I just feel like going cold turkey altogether. But I can see while we're doing this in November into November, how if she continues to drink and I don't, I can see it could be a source of tension between us.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
Yeah. I just don't know how they do it. And the couples I know have been together for years.
Weight Loss Advertiser
Yeah.
Caller Discussing Couples and Drinking
And they're still doing it. And they're still annoyed with each other.
Radio Host
The Burt Show.
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Date: May 18, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & callers
Main Theme:
This episode explores the dynamics and real-life challenges faced by couples where one person drinks alcohol and the other does not. Through personal stories, psychological theories, and lively discussion, both the comedic and genuine frustrations within these relationships are unpacked.
[01:30 – 03:36]
[03:11 – 03:20]
[03:36 – 04:26]
[05:30 – 06:42]
[07:01 – 07:19]
[07:33 – 08:51]
Fans of The Bert Show will find this episode especially engaging for its real talk, lively debate, and the range of perspectives on a topic that adds both comedy and conflict to relationships.