39: Vault: She Got a Surprise Trip to the New Moon Movie Premiere

Summary

The Bert Show — Episode 39: Vault: She Got a Surprise Trip to the New Moon Movie Premiere

Date: May 18, 2026

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Brief Overview

In this vault episode, the Bert Show crew surprises cast member Wendy with an unexpected assignment: attend the red carpet premiere of "New Moon" (from the Twilight franchise) in Knoxville, Tennessee. The episode is full of the team’s signature banter and Wendy’s genuine excitement (and nerves) as she's tasked with interviewing film stars Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner. The mood is enthusiastic, playful, and energized, serving listeners with a blend of humor, light suspense, and behind-the-scenes radio fun.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up the Surprise Assignment

• The Trust Game (01:31–03:03):
  • The hosts (Bert and Jeff) ask Wendy if she has plans tonight, making her suspicious.
  • Wendy jokes: “I always get nervous when you ask me if I have plans because I'm not sure what you want me to do now?” (02:02, Wendy)
  • The show teases Wendy with a classic trust game, testing how much faith she has in Bert and Jeff.
  • “Oh, that’s only, like, 15%. Oh, I’ll do it.” (02:53, Wendy)—she commits despite her skepticism.

2. Revealing the Assignment

• The Premiere Announcement (03:07–03:45):
  • Jeff reveals the assignment: Wendy is to attend an event with Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner—much to her shock.
  • “Oh, stop it. Shut up. Are you kidding me?” (03:15, Wendy)—her excitement is immediate and unfiltered.
  • The event is in Knoxville, TN; she’ll need to travel quickly and be ready for red carpet action.

3. Assignment Details and Logistics

• Preparing Wendy (03:46–05:44):
  • Wendy is told she’ll need to “get a little bit aggressive” to get questions in with the stars on the red carpet.
  • She commits wholeheartedly: “I’m going to do it if I’m going to get that close to Taylor Lautner. Absolutely. I’ll get aggressive.” (05:00, Wendy)
  • The crew teases the logistics: drive to Knoxville, arrive early, deal with UT’s campus, lock the car, etc.
  • “You could tell her to do anything right now and she’d be like, I can do it. It’s not a problem… You think you can make it there by five? Absolutely.” (05:34, Bert & Wendy)

4. The Show’s Playful Atmosphere

• Inside Jokes and Team Dynamics (05:45–06:19):
  • The team jokes about trusting Bert and Jeff: “Trust them once, but next time don’t.” (05:51, Wendy)
  • Wendy’s excitement builds as the reality (and speed) of her task sets in: “I’m gonna get married tonight.” (06:19, Wendy, in jest about meeting Taylor Lautner)

5. Segment Closure and Assignment Recap

• Recap and Rally (06:03–06:19):
  • Bert summarizes: drive to Tennessee, get close to the stars, and get some on-the-spot audio for the next day.
  • Wendy is on board, shining with readiness and a bit of starstruck humor.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your first reaction should always be, yeah, I’ve got something, but… I guess I could rearrange, right? That should always be your first answer.”
  — Bert (01:52)

• “Oh, stop it. Shut up. Are you kidding me?”
  — Wendy (03:15) [Reacting to the news she’ll meet the Twilight stars]

• “I’m going to do it if I’m going to get that close to Taylor Lautner. Absolutely. I’ll get aggressive.”
  — Wendy (05:00)

• “Trust them once, but next time don’t.”
  — Wendy (05:51) [On the wisdom of following Bert and Jeff’s surprise assignments]

• “I’m gonna get married tonight.”
  — Wendy (06:19) [Joking about her excitement to meet Taylor Lautner]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:31 — The setup: Does Wendy have plans tonight?
• 02:52 — Wendy’s trust level: “That’s only, like, 15%. Oh, I’ll do it.”
• 03:07–03:45 — Wendy learns about the New Moon movie premiere assignment.
• 04:00–05:05 — Details on what Wendy will need to do at the premiere; she commits to the challenge.
• 05:51 — Wendy’s lesson: “Trust them once, but next time don’t.”
• 06:08–06:19 — Assignment summary and Wendy’s final excited comments.

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Tone and Style

The episode’s tone is energetic, lighthearted, and filled with quick-witted banter. Listeners are welcomed into the Bert Show’s collaborative, sometimes mischievous environment as they support (and gently prank) Wendy. Authentic reactions and playful ribbing make this an engaging slice of morning radio, especially for those who enjoy spontaneous, personality-driven show segments.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a prime example of what makes The Bert Show a morning ritual for many—playful surprises, authentic team dynamics, and moments where the cast genuinely brings listeners into their world, making every commute or morning routine a little more fun.

Transcript

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[C]

All right, Wendy, do you have plans tonight? Have anything on your schedule that you can't move?

[D]

I don't think so.

[C]

You want to think about it for a second?

[D]

No, I don't have any plans.

[E]

She was trying to pretend that she did have plans.

[D]

She's like, I want to sound cool and like, have something to do tonight, but no, I really don't.

[C]

Isn't that part of the mojo we're talking about? Like, your first reaction should always be, yeah, I've got something, but I mean, if I have to move it, yeah, I guess I could. I could rearrange, right? That's always. That should always be your first answer.

[D]

I always get nervous when you ask me if I have plans because I'm not Sure. What you want me to do now?

[C]

Okay, well, let's do this. Let's play a game of how much do you trust the Burt show?

[D]

So you're gonna have to say which

[E]

members,

[D]

because I think if it were a Jen having Melissa Carter idea, she'd

[C]

be like, okay, that's a very good. Valid. Very valid point. How much do you trust Jeff and I? We're gonna play a little game here. We have an assignment for you tonight. I've been down this road.

[E]

Yep. That was our one time with a man.

[C]

We have an assignment for you tonight.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Based on your trust of Jeff and I, do you want to take the assignment or not? And you only got one shot at it, either.

[D]

You can't give her a hint on the assignment. It's just about trust and faith in Bert and Jeff.

[C]

Oh, Lord.

[D]

Oh, that's only, like, 15%. Oh, I'll do it.

[C]

See, that's the spirit right there. That's the Bircho spirit coming out.

[D]

I'll do it. Really aggressive, positive manner.

[C]

Jeff, you want to tell her what our assignment is tonight?

[E]

Yes. There is an event with Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner that we would like you to attend.

[D]

Oh, stop it. Shut up. Are you kidding me?

[E]

Now, here's the deal. There is some work involved, okay? Because the event is in Knoxville, Tennessee.

[D]

Stop it.

[E]

So. And there's no guarantee. There's zero guarantees, but there are a couple of inns that we have that should get you fairly close to touching.

[D]

Stop it. So, like, red carpet. I need a new outfit.

[E]

Like red carpet. So, yeah.

[C]

So your assignment here, while on one hand, you're a big fan, and we know you're gonna lose your mind, you sort of have to stay a little bit focused and try to get a couple of questions in with either one of them.

[D]

I'll stay focused. All right? I'll focus on that.

[E]

But here's the deal. It's like, you would. I mean, you talk about needing a new outfit or whatever. It's. I mean, it's Knoxville, which I asked Melissa earlier, about three hours away, so. And you would have to, you know, drive, and I would get there early to give time for getting lost and getting set up on the red carpet. So, I mean, you'd probably have to.

[C]

UT's campus, you know, that kind of thing.

[E]

No. And also, hey, the football players up there. Lock your doors and stuff. Listen, we don't want anyone.

[D]

The car's probably a lot faster than the ones that they were using, so.

[E]

But you would just basically drive to Knoxville and Get there early and camp out. And we're trying to get you as much access as we can, but we have our fingers crossed right now for red carpet.

[D]

Stop it.

[C]

So it's going to take you getting probably a little bit aggressive here. I mean, Jeff is going to get you close, but it's going to be up to you to get right up to him and hit him with a couple of questions.

[D]

I'm going to do it if I'm going to get that close to Taylor Lautner. Absolutely. I'll get aggressive.

[E]

And just a heads up to Jen Fallon, if she's listening. You could charge Wendy $2,000 to do afternoon traffic today.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

So then you'd have to be tomorrow morning with the audio because tomorrow really is the day that we needed for the opening of New Moon.

[D]

I'm gonna be in a rush this after. Oh, I'm so excited. When is it?

[E]

It's tonight. Like, there's not a lot of rushing. You're not gonna have time. Like, you gotta probably be on the road. I would say by noon.

[D]

Okay. I can get ready really fast.

[C]

You could tell her to do anything right now and she'd be like, I can do it. It's not a problem. You have to go via El Paso into Dallas and then to Knoxville. You think you can make it there by five? Absolutely.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

I can do it.

[D]

Give me a Concord jet and I'll get there. See?

[E]

And what lessons have we all learned about trusting Bert and Jeff?

[D]

Trust them once, but next time don't. Yes. All right. Now, Melissa, I'm so excited.

[E]

How much do you trust Burton?

[D]

Hell no.

[C]

So that's your assignment sometime, like really quickly after the show today, you drive on up to Tennessee.

[D]

Awesome.

[C]

Jeff gets you close and you've got to elbow your way in and somehow, some way get a mic in front of their faces and shoot a couple of questions. Okay.

[D]

I'm gonna get married tonight.

[B]

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