40: Vault: The Age Difference Ended Their Relationship

Summary

---

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode Title: Vault: The Age Difference Ended Their Relationship
Date: May 18, 2026

This episode delves into listener Amanda's dating history as part of an ongoing series where ex-boyfriends share why their relationships with her ended. The main focus today is on Amanda's relationship with Nathan, an ex-boyfriend nine years her junior, and how their age gap—as well as their mismatched lifestyles—played a critical role in their breakup. The team analyzes Amanda’s recurring pattern of dating younger, party-enthusiast men, despite preferring a homebody lifestyle, and speculate on the reasons behind her choices.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Amanda’s Relationship History & Pattern

• Amanda’s Relationships: At 33, Amanda has never had a relationship last more than a year, typically seeing downturns around six months.
• Show Format: Every day, the show invites an ex-boyfriend to explain why their relationship with Amanda ended, aiming to help Amanda reflect and grow.

[01:19] Amanda’s Self-Reflection

“Well, I'm 33 now and I've never had a relationship last more than a year. You know, usually six months, it starts to go downhill.”
—Amanda

• The team recaps a previous conversation with John, a college boyfriend, revealing Amanda tended to become more of a homebody mid-relationship, while her partners wanted to continued partying.

Nathan’s Perspective (Amanda’s Ex, Age 21 When Dating)

[02:57] Introduction of Nathan

• Nathan dated Amanda three years prior for about seven months. During the relationship, Nathan was 21 and Amanda was 30, highlighting a significant age gap.

[04:11] Confirming the Age Gap

“Well, I'm 24 right now. So when we dated, I was probably like 21. Just turned 21 and she was 30.”
—Nathan (04:11)

• Co-hosts discuss the impact of a nine-year age gap, particularly given that both Nathan and a previous boyfriend were 21 at the time of dating Amanda.

Lifestyle Differences as the Crux of the Breakup

[03:47] The Turning Point

“I sort of broke it off just because, you know, at that time I was... wild and I was going out, and...she wanted to sort of stay at home and relax, and she also had sort of a hard time getting along with my friends because there was a little bit of an age difference.”
—Nathan (03:47)

• Nathan wanted to party, while Amanda preferred staying in. She struggled to connect with his much younger social circle.

[05:08] How They Met & Early Vibe

• They met through Amanda’s younger brother, not at a party or bar.
• Early on, Amanda “put on a good face” for a week or two of partying, then immediately reverted to homebody tendencies.

“You know, I think she put on a good face, you know, for maybe a week or two. But then it pretty quickly was, ‘Why don't we stay home tonight?’... I was 21 years old and I wanted to go out and have fun.”
—Nathan (05:20)

• When out with his friends, Amanda was often the sober designated driver.

[05:54] Amanda as the Sober DD

“Sober. She was the DD for me and my friends a few times.”
—Nathan (05:54)

• Amanda was not invested in the party atmosphere, frequently remaining sober and separate from the group’s energy.

[06:17] Problems Escalating

“...there was a problem with... the partying... we were 21 years old. We were going out to get drunk, not just socialize. So that really wasn't her scene.”
—Nathan (06:17)

• Nathan confirms Amanda’s desire for nights in became a recurring issue, mirroring patterns from other relationships.

[06:49] The Final Straw

“No, I mean, she wanted me to stay home with her all the time. So, yeah, I mean, it sort of became an issue. That's...ultimately why we broke up.”
—Nathan (06:49)

• Nathan admits her unwillingness to compromise or join in on outings directly led to their breakup.

[07:07] Advice for Amanda

“I would say whoever she dates, she's got to meet halfway because she was pretty obstinate towards the end there...don't be such a homebody.”
—Nathan (07:07)

• Nathan recommends Amanda be open to compromise and avoid sticking rigidly to her own preferences.

Show Hosts' Analysis & Reflection

[06:30] Recognizing Amanda's Dating Pattern

• The team observes Amanda repeatedly dates “party guys” but isn’t a party person herself.

[07:44] On Amanda's Ideal Match

“She doesn't need to date a 21 year old. She needs to date a guy that's okay to be a homebody.”
—Co-host (07:44)

• They encourage Amanda to choose partners more aligned with her interests, rather than younger men who want to be out all the time.

[09:03] Why Does Amanda Choose These Guys?

“She chose him. I mean, that's the point that I think I'm making is she's choosing these guys that party a lot even though she doesn't party much.”
—Host (09:03)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Amanda’s Age Gap Choices:
  “That's not a little bit of an age difference. That's a nine year age difference. That's a big one.” —Co-host/Commentator (04:22)
• On Why Amanda Dates Younger Men:
  “She's like Dazed and Confused, but she likes about 21-year-old, 21-year-old guys. She gets older and they stay the same age.” —Co-host/Commentator (04:40)
• On Amanda Being Sober Around Party Friends:
  “Sober. She was the DD for me and my friends a few times.” —Nathan (05:54)
• On Advice to Amanda:
  “Don't be such a homebody.” —Nathan (07:07)
• Hosts Joking About the Pattern:
  “I go laugh if every one of these damn ex-boyfriends is 21 years old. It's being like, this is kind of weird.” —Co-host/Commentator (07:59)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:19] — Amanda describes her history of short relationships
• [02:57] — Introduction of Nathan, Amanda’s ex (major age gap)
• [03:47] — Nathan explains why they broke up
• [05:20] — Nathan on Amanda’s quick return to homebody ways
• [05:54] — Amanda as designated driver
• [06:17] — Partying problem and escalating incompatibility
• [06:49] — Confirmation the homebody/party conflict ended things
• [07:07] — Nathan’s advice for Amanda in future relationships
• [07:44] — Host concludes Amanda needs a true homebody partner
• [09:03] — Host underscores Amanda’s pattern of choosing mismatched partners

---

Conclusion

This episode illustrates Amanda's persistent pattern of dating younger, party-oriented men, despite her preference for staying home. With candid insights from ex-boyfriend Nathan and commentary from the show’s hosts, the discussion highlights the critical importance of compatible lifestyles and mutual willingness to compromise. The episode offers both humor and empathy as Amanda (and listeners) confront the real challenges of dating patterns and self-awareness.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but go via the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit

[VRBO Advertiser]

borhears.com A vacation rental shouldn't come with surprises. It should come with Verbo Care and 24. 7 Life Support. If the hot tub's broken, that's a verbo care thing.

[Co-host/Commentator]

If my teenager starts calling me Leslie,

[VRBO Advertiser]

that's a family thing. Leslie VRBoCare and 24. 7 Life Support. If you know you verbo terms apply. See vrbo.com trust for details.

[Host/Interviewer]

The Burt show all right, this was Amanda on Friday.

[Amanda]

Well, I'm 33 now and I've never had a relationship last more than a year. You know, usually six months. It's starts to go downhill.

[Host/Interviewer]

So every day we're gonna get an ex boyfriend on with us who's gonna detail for us exactly why the relationship didn't work out. Cause she wants to sort of take a look at them all and try to figure out how she can get better moving forward. So we talked to this dude John yesterday who dated her 13 years ago in college. We didn't get a whole bunch. I mean it was 13 years ago.

[Tracy]

I think first and foremost, you know, it was a long time ago. We were kind of young. I'd say about half a year into being together. To me as a 21 year old, she just got really homebodyish and felt like we were in our 30s all of a sudden. And her excuse for all this was like, well, you know, we should. We should stay in because we have tests next week. And I don't know, I was more into, you know, partying 13 years ago.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Nothing that's typical. Like, you know, somebody in the relationship usually is more serious about it than the other, and it just, you know, so like, she was more wanting to be the, you know, cuddling at home rather than go out and party, and he didn't.

It sounded like too yesterday in the longer conversation that at first. The first six months, she was like a socialite and, like, wanted to go out a lot, and they had a lot, you know, stuff going in common. But then as the relationship progressed, she wanted to be home more. So he didn't like that. He wanted to still party. But he also was really nice about it and said, dude, we were 21.

[Host/Interviewer]

Right. You know, and he also said that she ended up graduating way before he did.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah. So there we go.

[Host/Interviewer]

All right, so Nathan here is an ex boyfriend, and we don't have to go back 13 years. We just have to go back three years. Hey, Nathan.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Host/Interviewer]

Good. How are you today?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Good, good, good.

[Host/Interviewer]

All right, so you know what we're doing here, right? We talked to Amanda last week, and she's hip on doing this, so she's probably listening right now, and she's compiling notes, and we're gonna talk to her at the end of this week or maybe on Monday.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But you don't have to talk to her so you can be honest.

You're safe. You're in a safety. You're in the safety zone.

Exactly.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

All right, good to know.

[Host/Interviewer]

So you guys dated three years ago?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Yeah, it's about three years.

[Host/Interviewer]

Okay, and for how long?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

It was probably like seven months, I guess. Okay.

[Host/Interviewer]

All right, now, first guy was how long?

[Co-host/Commentator]

First guy was almost a year.

[Host/Interviewer]

Okay, seven months. And just sort of give us a history of the relationship. Things were great, obviously, at first. There must have been some kind of turning point eventually where one of you guys broke it off.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Yeah, I sort of broke it off just because, you know, at that time I was. I was wild and I was going out, and it just, you know, she wanted to. She wanted to sort of stay at home and relax, and she also had sort of a hard time getting along with my friends because there was a little bit of an age difference.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So what was the age difference?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Well, I'm 24 right now. So when we dated, I was, I was probably like 21. Just turned 21 and she was 30.

[Host/Interviewer]

She must have been 30 then. Yeah.

[Tracy]

Wow.

[Host/Interviewer]

She told us that before. Right.

[Co-host/Commentator]

That's not a little bit of an age difference.

That's a nine year age difference. That's a big one.

So it's the same issue with the same age of the guy. She was just different. A different age?

Well, no, because she was younger with yesterday's guy. They were the same age, right?

No, I'm saying he was 21 and this guy was 21. Yeah, even, you know, so.

So she's been. So she's been boring her whole life.

She's like dancing confused. But she likes about 21 year old, 21 year old guy. She gets older and they stay the same age.

[Host/Interviewer]

But she's showing a pattern here. Like maybe because she's not that way. She's attracted to guys that are.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Maybe you got party guy in college.

[Host/Interviewer]

Now when you guys initially met, did you meet in a bar or a party setting or how did you initially meet?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Well, she has a younger brother and I met her through her younger brother.

[Host/Interviewer]

Okay, okay. Was it party, party, party in the beginning of your relationship? And then at some point it tailed off?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

You know, I think she put on a good face, you know, for maybe a week or two. But then it pretty quickly was, why don't we stay home tonight? Why don't we? I have to go out. So I was 21 years old. She's a really great girl, but, you know, I was 21 years old and I wanted to go out and have fun.

[Co-host/Commentator]

But you must have liked her if that happened right away in the relationship.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

There's definitely a lot of chemistry there. There's definitely a lot of sexual chemistry. So cool.

[Host/Interviewer]

Okay, okay. When you guys would go out and you would do your party thing, would she get her drink on pretty good or was she always sober and sort of in control of things?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Sober? She was the DD for me and my friends a few times.

[Co-host/Commentator]

That's sad. Hey Nathan, can your come get us? To my girlfriend. Stop saying that. Kicked your ass in beer pong and you're just mad. Take you down and flip cup too.

[Host/Interviewer]

Would she get annoyed by you and your friends because she was sober and you guys were hammered all the time?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Like I said, she put on a good face a little while. But yeah, it was pretty clear that there was a problem with, with the partying, you know, like I said, we were 21 years old. We were going out to get drunk, not just socialize. So that really wasn't her scene.

[Host/Interviewer]

She certainly knew what she was getting into. So even though she's saying it's not her scene, it's the same. But it's the exact same scenario yesterday. So we are starting to build a pattern here that she dates party, party, party guys, and she doesn't like to party.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Right.

[Host/Interviewer]

Okay. Anything else there?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

And she didn't give you a hard

[Co-host/Commentator]

time about going out and partying? She was cool.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

No, I mean, she wanted me to stay home with her all the time. So, yeah, I mean, it sort of became an issue. That's. That's ultimately why we broke up. You know, it was an issue with I don't want to go out, and I did want to go out.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So if you were going to give her some advice now on her next relationship, what would it be?

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

I would say whoever she dates, she's got to meet halfway because she was pretty obstinate towards the end there. I mean, she. Like I said, she's a nice girl, but towards the end there, it was just my way or, you know, the highway, because I was sort of the one that broke it off. But, you know, it was. It just go out and, I don't know, don't be such a homebody.

[Host/Interviewer]

So she wasn't even willing to go out with you at the very end. She's like, you go do your thing. Come on back.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Last two or three months. Now definitely not.

[Host/Interviewer]

Okay, cool. All right, this is a nice big piece to the puzzle here then.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Thank you, Nathan.

[Host/Interviewer]

All right, guys, really appreciate your time, man.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

All right. Yeah, glad to help.

[Host/Interviewer]

Thank you.

[Nathan (Ex-boyfriend)]

Bye.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Sounds familiar. She doesn't need to date a 21 year old. She needs to date a guy. That's okay to be a homebody.

55 year old.

[Host/Interviewer]

Now, she did tell us initially that she did d younger guys, right? So she sort of gave us that red flag.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I usually date a year or two younger.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

I think 10 years younger.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I go laugh if every one of these damn ex Boyfriends is 21 years old. It's being like, this is kind of weird.

[Host/Interviewer]

It would almost be too obvious if that was.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, no, keep in mind that we keep saying that, but the one we talked to yesterday, she was only a year older than him. Like he was still young, but he was their boyfriend from 10 years ago.

Yeah, I understand, but I just find it interesting that regardless of her age, again, the guys are the same guys,

[Host/Interviewer]

same type guy, party guy. And she's not a party girl.

[Co-host/Commentator]

We'll see. If it happens again tomorrow, that'd be interesting.

[Host/Interviewer]

Tomorrow morning, same time, we'll have ex boyfriend number three on. Tracy here thinks that we're being unfair. Hey, Tracy.

[Tracy]

Hey.

[Amanda]

I just wanted to say, you know, you guys were saying yesterday that it seems like she kind of changed her personality. She was all outgoing at first. I'm talking about the first guy, of course. But what I wanted to stress was is that I mean, she was pre law at the time. Maybe her classes weren't as hard or as demanding, but I mean as that second semester rolled around, she really had to buckle down. And this guy today, it's like whatever, you're 21, are you kidding me?

[Host/Interviewer]

She chose him. I mean, that's the point that I think I'm making is she's choosing these guys that party a lot even though she doesn't party much. So maybe that will be the continued trend throughout the week. We don't know.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Who knows?

[Amanda]

We'll see.

[Host/Interviewer]

All right, Tracy. Thank you.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Hey.

The Bird show Support is available 24. 7 with VRBoCare. We're here day or night ready whenever you need help. Because a great trip starts with the right support.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

Pros save more on the materials you need to get the job done inside and out at Lowes right now get 10% off in stock Trex naturals decking now available in more styles. Plus get 15% off select custom entry, interior and storm doors. Then we'll deliver it all straight to your job site. To help keep your jobs moving, get the brand's pros trust priced right and ready when you need them. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's, valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location.

[DISH Advertiser]

Dish has been connecting communities like yours for the last 45 years, providing the TV you love at a price you can trust. Watch live sports news and the latest movies plus your favorite streaming apps all in one place. Switch to DISH today and lock in the lowest price in satellite TV starting at89.99amonth with our two year price guarantee. Call 888-add-D dish or visit DIS.