The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Friday, February 6 [Vault]

Date: February 6, 2026
Hosts & Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and guests
Main Theme: Sharing real, funny, and authentic stories about relationships, social faux pas, and pop culture, with special guest Ludacris.

Episode Overview

This episode features a lively mix of relationship confessions, debates about dating "rules," listener stories, the phenomenon of "bitch regret," memorable tales about overreacting, and a deep dive with special guest Ludacris on celebrity culture and his various ventures. The cast uses their signature humor and openness to explore everything from awkward cuddling to celebrity restaurant launches.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Relationship Dynamics & The Art of Cuddling

(00:01 – 03:54)

• Wendy’s Dilemma: Wendy describes meeting a guy, hanging out, and ending up cuddling all night—without any physical advances from him.

  • Bert and the crew find the innocence of the encounter both refreshing and puzzling.
  • “I’m gonna sober her up, and then we are gonna hug...I am gonna hug you all night long.” – Bert (00:43)

• Listener Call-ins:

  • Jessica: Shares how she painted with a guy and then experienced similarly innocent cuddling, feeling curious until discovering he was gay.
    • "So a guy invites you over to his house to do some interior decorating, then you guys get in bed together and nothing happens for three weeks..." – Bert (02:06)
  • Katherine: Details a sweet but chaste three-month courtship that was ultimately the most passionate relationship of her life, showing appreciation for restraint.
    • “It's really refreshing, and it's comforting... so much respect for him for not trying to get in my pants, like, the first night.” – Katherine (03:38)

• Hosts’ Perspectives:

  • Some female hosts think waiting too long without physical intimacy is “too long” and could land someone in the friend zone, but acknowledge the power in subtlety.

2. Pitching Fits & “Bitch Regret”

(04:08 – 13:09)

• Introducing ‘Bitch Regret’:

  • Cassie and Katie Jo coin the term for the remorse that follows pitching a fit or overreacting.
  • “Where you bitched about something, and then in hindsight, you're like, well, maybe I overreacted just a little bit.” – Cassie (04:08)

• The Restaurant Incident:

  • Katie Jo and Cassie leave a restaurant after a rude greeting; when the manager chases them down at another restaurant and apologizes, Katie Jo wonders if she was “a little harsh.”
    • "Katie leaned over to the bartender, said, 'just want to let you know he lost you a sale.'" – Cassie (07:13)
    • "I've never had that happen before." – Cassie on the manager tracking them down (08:33)
  • The team discusses how excellent management and an authentic apology can regain customer loyalty.

• Can Men Experience Bitch Regret?

  • Bert recounts a story where passive-aggressive behavior at a gas station gave him instant regret.
    • "Why did I let that guy's stupid action...change my attitude? Why did that cause me to put that negative energy in the world?" – Bert (11:52)
  • The hosts note the difference between direct and passive-aggressive negative behavior.

3. Mistaken Accusations & Owning Up

(13:09 – 14:27)

• Sunglasses Story:
  • Bert accuses a valet of stealing his sunglasses, only to find out later they were at home. He makes a point to go back and apologize.
    • “I'm complaining to this guy...I valet my car, and my sunglasses are gone...She’s like, 'they're right here on the counter.'” – Bert (13:13)
  • The group shares similar stories, underscoring the importance of humility and making amends for overreactions.

4. Celebrity Call-in Contest & Ludacris Interview

(14:27 – 24:44)

Celebrity Call-In Debate

(14:27 – 17:56)

• Contest Premise:

  • Listeners are challenged to get the biggest celebrity to call in. The biggest star wins them $10,000; $5,000 goes to the celebrity’s charity.
  • Ludacris is asked to help judge the value of celebrities from Sean Connery and Morgan Freeman to Muhammad Ali and Justin Timberlake.

• Debate Highlights:

  • Ludacris says the contest is “a hard one,” but ultimately, “Nobody is beating Muhammad Ali if he called in. I’m sorry. It’s a wrap.” (16:46)
  • Hosts debate the global vs. generational significance of fame.
    • "It depends on what age group...to be honest, it's between Justin Timberlake and Muhammad Ali." – Ludacris (15:59)

Ludacris on Food, Music & Hustle

(17:56 – 24:44)

• Restaurant Venture:

  • Ludacris launches a Singaporean-Thai restaurant, Straits Atlanta.
    • "It's named after the waterway that led from Malaysia down to China...I want people to have the best dining experience they've ever had in a lifetime." – Ludacris (18:07)
    • Menu features his favorite “chicken lollipops,” and a fusion of Asian and Southern flavors.

• On Juggling Projects:

  • Ludacris shares how he balances albums, movies, restaurants, and charity initiatives.
    • “You take it one hour at a time. Not even one day at a time.” – Ludacris (22:04)
  • New album, movie projects, environmental TV work with Tommy Lee, and WEMIX.com (a music democracy website).
    • “It's like a democracy for music, trying to put the music back into people's hands... wemix.com.” – Ludacris (23:34)

• Memorable Quotes:

  • "I pretty much wake up in the morning and piss excellence." – Ludacris, joking on restaurant celebrity draw (20:30)
  • "Tommy Lee can party harder than Ludacris...hands down, got me on that." – Ludacris (23:13)

• Closing:

  • Ludacris invites hosts and listeners to try the food and thanks the show for their support.
    • "Juniper & 5th is open for business. Make sure y'all come out and support." – Ludacris (24:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On ‘Bitch Regret’:
  • "I think you handled that perfectly. Or Katie Jo handled that perfectly. But when you said bitch regret..." – Bert (09:47)
• On Managing Social Energy:
  • "Anytime. And Katie and I had this discussion, you know, employees can screw up, fine. But if, you know, the manager is the last line of defense, and if the manager screws up, then I will never go to that place again." – Cassie (12:41)
• On The Pressure of Fame:
  • "If you go to any place in the world, you say, do you know who Muhammad Ali is? Somebody gonna say, hell, yeah." – Ludacris (17:31)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cuddling & Dating Dynamics: 00:01 – 03:54
• Bitch Regret & Restaurant Story: 04:08 – 09:45
• Passive Aggressive Regret (Gas Station): 09:55 – 12:29
• Mistaken Blame (Sunglasses/Phone): 13:09 – 14:27
• Ludacris Call & Celebrity Contest: 14:27 – 17:56
• Ludacris Restaurant Launch: 17:56 – 21:58
• Ludacris on Hustle, Music & Partying: 21:58 – 24:44

Tone & Style

• The show remains candid, playful, and self-deprecating, seamlessly blending humor with authentic, sometimes vulnerable conversations.
• There’s a comfortable familiarity between the hosts and listeners, making even celebrity interviews feel personal and fun.

Summary Useful for New Listeners

If you missed the episode, you'll get relationship stories that oscillate from hilariously awkward to genuinely insightful, a peek into the joys and pitfalls of standing up for yourself (and the regret that sometimes follows), and an inside look at Ludacris' ambitious (and thoroughly entertaining) ventures. The Bert Show’s ability to turn everyday embarrassments and celebrity encounters into hilarious collective therapy reminds listeners why they tune in to escape and laugh at life’s unpredictability.