Full Show PT 1: Friday, July 31 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Friday, July 31 [Vault]

Original Air Date: July 31, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jennifer, Joanna, Brandon, and various callers
Summary by Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the hallmarks of The Bert Show: candid, humorous, and deeply relatable conversations about real-life situations. Main topics revolve around the pressures and expectations surrounding weddings and marriage, the complicated feelings behind family events like Mother's Day, and honest talk about dating preferences and family pressure for grandchildren. The cast engages not only among themselves but brings in listeners’ voices, resulting in a vibrant, heartfelt, and often hilarious mix of perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wedding Planning Stress: Joanna’s Dilemma

(00:16–11:28)

• Joanna’s Engagement & Wedding Pressure:

  • Joanna is engaged with her wedding planned for Memorial Day next year.
  • She’s visibly stressed, leading to a candid discussion.
  • Financial reality hits hard: “I want a big wedding...then you start to realize, financially my family can't really help me, so Jason and I have to pay for this…and I can barely support myself.” (01:45 – Joanna)
  • Struggle between dreaming of a lavish wedding and not wanting to go into debt.

• Family & Cultural Expectations:

  • Joanna feels pressure to please her fiancé’s mother (wants a church wedding) and fulfill her own dreams (father walking her down the aisle).
  • The crew jokes about alternative wedding-saving fundraisers (e.g., pole dancing as a tongue-in-cheek solution), highlighting the lengths people joke about to pay for weddings. (04:40)
  • Callers chime in with similar struggles, mostly arguing that going into wedding debt is a huge mistake.
  • Suggestion of compromise: small wedding now, bigger reception when finances allow.

• Notable Quotes:

  • "Do we really want to put ourselves into $20,000 worth of debt just for this one day?" (01:45 – Joanna)
  • "Guess what? The wedding industry knows that. And they will overcharge you for everything…because they know it's connected to your love and your childhood dreams." (03:21 – Jennifer)
  • "If you keep that attitude for the rest of your marriage, that is exactly where you want to be right there." (07:09 – Host)
  • "If she wants something lavish, then she should flip the bill for it." (10:28 – Co-host)

Timestamps:

• Joanna’s introduction & stress: 00:16
• Financial and family pressures: 01:45–07:09
• Callers’ stories and advice: 05:13–10:16

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2. Dating Preferences & Racial Dynamics in Relationships

(11:40–17:41)

• Brandon Is Asked About His Dating Patterns:

  • Caller Courtney asks Brandon why he doesn’t date Black women.
  • Brandon reflects: “I guess all of the black women that I know have...attitudes. I just don't deal well with attitudes.” (12:11 – Brandon)
  • The team teases out the mixture of shyness, environment, and social comfort that shapes dating decisions.

• Call-In Dialogue:

  • Follow-up caller shares similar experiences but in reverse (only dates outside his race due to personal connections and location).
  • Hosts discuss how who you’re exposed to shapes romantic opportunities.

• Memorable Moments & Quotes:

  • “It's really more accurate to say you don't date any girls. Right.” (15:36 – Host)
  • “We call it the snappy finger attitude in the group of friends” (12:26 – Brandon)
  • “If you're around [mostly one group], that's what you grow up with…and that's who you're attracted to.” (17:01 – Host)

Timestamps:

• Caller's question to Brandon: 11:40
• Brandon’s explanation, group reactions: 12:11–15:09
• Follow-up call, “novelty” of interracial dating: 16:16–17:41

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3. Oversharing with Strangers: Airplane & Public Transport Confessions

(17:47–22:23)

• Cast Shares Stories:

  • Multiple stories about strangers unloading personal dramas after a simple “How are you?”
  • Co-host: “I don't know why I continued to ask questions, but it was almost like a weird, like, sensing that there was…that he needed to talk.” (20:04)

• A Flight Attendant’s Perspective:

  • Confirms that people often share in transit because “you’re probably never going to see these people again, so it’s easy to open up.” (21:26)
  • Comparison to bartenders, hairstylists, cab drivers: jobs where people spill secrets due to the “safe zone” feeling.

Timestamps:

• In-flight overshare stories: 17:47
• Flight attendant's take: 21:24

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4. Mother's Day: Pressures, Vents & Disappointments

(22:23–31:55)

• Mother’s Day Migraine:

  • Trace discusses how migraines affect her ability to be present on significant days, like Mother’s Day, balancing her health and family obligations.

• Underappreciated Moms & the ‘Vent Line’:

  • Collection of voicemails from listeners expressing deep disappointment in spouses and children for lack of recognition.
  • Examples include absent gifts, indifferent partners, and ungrateful adult children.
  • Funny yet honest commentary: “If you honestly are digging in on the fact that she's not your physical mom…you're not having sex all the rest of the month. You knew that, right?” (25:22 – Co-host)
  • Some mothers reflect on being overlooked by their own mothers now that they’re also mothers themselves.
  • One caller vents about a sibling more invested in a wealthy mother-in-law than their own ill mother. “She is a selfish, self-centered, hateful city and I hope that her two sons do this to her.” (28:21 – Caller)

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You just don't appreciate it.” (25:36 – Host)
  • “I got a twenty dollar bill…this is crap.” (31:21 – Caller)

Timestamps:

• Trace’s migraine & Mother’s Day juggling: 22:23–24:29
• Voicemail vent line: 25:14–31:55

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5. Family Pressure for Marriage and Babies

(32:04–36:01)

• Jennifer’s Experience:

  • Jennifer shares the shift in family pressure from marriage to babies; her mom wants grandkids more than a wedding.
  • “She already planned a wedding, whatever. Now she wants grandkids. And so the baby pressure is crazy.” (34:12 – Jennifer)

• Host’s Universal Pressure Theory:

  • Bert observes the ongoing nature of societal pressure: “When you're single, people pressure you to be dating…when you're married, they want you to have a kid…the pressure never goes away.” (34:36)

• Humorous Take on Baby Pressure:

  • Jokes about parents sabotaging birth control.
  • Lighthearted banter about announcing pregnancies and parental reactions.

Timestamps:

• Jennifer’s story: 32:04–34:12
• Group reflections and jokes: 34:12–36:01

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Guess what? The wedding industry knows that...they will overcharge you for everything because they know it's connected to your love and your childhood dreams.”
  – Jennifer (03:21)
• “Do we really want to put ourselves into $20,000 worth of debt just for this one day?”
  – Joanna (01:45)
• “If she wants something lavish, then she should flip the bill for it.”
  – Co-host (10:28)
• “It’s really more accurate to say you don’t date any girls. Right.”
  – Host (15:36)
• “When you’re single, people pressure you to be dating...when you're married, they want you to have a kid...the pressure never goes away.”
  – Host (34:36)
• “I got a twenty dollar bill that says Happy Mother's Day on it. I am so freaking mad...This is crap.”
  – Caller (31:21)

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show is a quintessential snapshot of real-life pressures—weddings, family, dating, and the underappreciated labor of mothers. Delivered with heart and comic flair, it also highlights how the show’s magic lies in letting listeners be part of the conversation, whether through venting, advice, or simply sharing a laugh. If you want to feel seen in your own struggles—or just enjoy sharp, genuine radio—this one is for you.

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Transcript

[Host]

They don't realize smart people use smartphones.

[Caller Brandon]

Huh?

[Host]

Download text now, pay what you want

[Jennifer]

or not at all.

[Brandon]

Show these ridiculous carriers we're way too smart to pay dumb.

[Caller Trace]

Free app based talking text via the

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Text now app requires WI fi or data connection.

[Joanna]

Data plan sold separately.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

5G where available.

[Co-host]

The Birch Show.

[Host]

Hi, Joanna here. Joanna is engaged. And Joanna's wedding is planned for when?

[Joanna]

It's for Memorial Day of next year.

[Host]

You look stressed out today, dude. You really do. You all right?

[Joanna]

I don't have makeup on. Again with you?

[Co-host]

You like crap? You feel okay?

[Host]

I didn't say you look like crap. I just said you looked a little stressed today.

[Joanna]

No, I. I think I was feeling fine.

[Jennifer]

This conversation, I think is stressful.

[Joanna]

It does. And it always in it. I get so anxious talking about it because a part of me, I feel like a brat when I tell you the things that it stressed me out because I feel like, you know, not everybody gets that on a wedding.

[Co-host]

But isn't that what a wedding's all about? Being bratty? Like wedding's supposed to be born in the bride.

It's one of the times you're allowed to be selfish.

[Host]

This four year engagement, you're allowed to

[Caller Flight Attendant]

be selfish for the next four years.

[Co-host]

That's why you're making it happen so long.

[Joanna]

You guys are just not figuring that out. I'm trying to stretch out the me time as long as possible.

[Jennifer]

I will be in the spotlight forever.

[Co-host]

You know what could happen here is Stacy could listen to that. This conversation, start to feel stressed for Joanna and just push her no smoking date back to Joanna's wedding day.

[Host]

Yeah, let's not suggest that. Um, so is it in. Is it every day a different stress or I mean a certain. I think most soon to be brides would probably say the same thing, that they went into it a little naive, this big dream. And then when you get down to the realities of it, each and every day you sort of realize it's not what you thought it was gonna be.

[Joanna]

I think that's what happened is that when you're little, you imagine that it's gonna be a certain way. You imagine the big wedding and everything. And I always thought, oh, I want a big wedding. I wanna have 2, 200 plus guests there, and I want to have it in a beautiful location. And then you start to realize, financially my family can't really help me, so Jason and I have to pay for this and I can barely support myself. So how am I going to save for a wedding? So the burden then falls on Jason, and then he's going to school, so the money he has saved is going to pay his bills when he's in school and not working for two years. So then we realize, how are we going to pay for this lavish wedding that I've been dreaming up in my head? Do we really want to put ourselves into $20,000 worth of debt just for this one day? And I get upset because I think the one thing that I'm scared of giving up is that dream. And I'm like, that is so stupid. Like, what's the big deal? Who cares if I go get married on the beach somewhere? Like, just us.

[Jennifer]

I think a lot of brides feel the way you do because you do sort of have it, you know, this dreamy fairy tale in your mind. And the reality of planning a wedding is very different from that. Very, very different.

[Co-host]

And even.

[Jennifer]

Even. Even brides who do have help from their families have to sit down. And really, I mean, you don't. You don't want to think about your wedding has to do with money. It's about love.

[Co-host]

Well, when you're five years old, you don't know about the bills that come with that idea.

I'm gonna ride in on a horse. I don't know what it costs to rent a horse, but I' to ride in on one.

[Jennifer]

Guess what? The wedding industry knows that. And they will overcharge you for everything they possibly can because they know it's connected to your love and your childhood dreams and everything else. So if you can't afford that bouquet of flowers, they say, sorry, it's going to be $500 for this, for you to walk down the aisle.

[Host]

Well, isn't it supply and demand, though? Aren't there so many florists that provide flowers for weddings that they can't take advantage of you that way?

[Jennifer]

No, not really, but all expensive. I mean, and because. Because they know, like, if they sit down with Joanna, she'll start crying and somebody will cough up the bill. Like, somebody in her life will go, oh, no, no, don't cry. Don't cry. Your day is gonna be perfect for you.

[Brandon]

We'll sign the check.

[Joanna]

And unfortunately, that is Jason's. His downfall is that when I start to tear up, that's when he's like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want you to cry. So I don't want to put the burden on him to be the financial provider in our wedding. So. So I have honest to God, told him time and time again, I just want to get Married to you. I just want to marry you. Like, I don't care where we get married at this point. Let's go to the Dominican. Let's go get married on the beach. Just us. But then there's the. His mom would be upset if we didn't get married in a church. And then, you know, you always dream of your father walking you down the aisle. So, like.

[Co-host]

But you've got a year to get on the pole.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Like, you can earn whatever you want

[Jennifer]

to eat a lot of money at Alluvia.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

And you know what? If you work the right shift, you can just tell us. You're a cocktail waitress.

[Jennifer]

That's cool.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

Here's hostess. I mean, you did work at Hooters for a time. I mean, how far away from the whole thing are you really?

[Host]

That's just the minor leagues for a cheetah.

[Co-host]

One is a chicken wing, the other one's a pole. Pay for that wedding $5 at a time.

[Joanna]

No, keep talking over there.

[Host]

Katie can relate to what you're saying here. Hey, Katie.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Hey, you guys. Joey and I wanted to give you some advice. I'm going through the exact same thing. My fiance and I were paying for our wedding ourselves. And we're, you know, trying to push it out till next May to save as much as we can. I've been to so many weddings where my friends went into debt, which is the worst possible way to go into marriage because it's only going to cause problems. Go to the beach. That's what we're doing. Just have your intimate friends and family and just make it safe, special. Because that's what you're going to remember is just having those people there with you. Going into debt for a wedding is the most horrible choice that you could ever make.

[Host]

Is there some kind of happy medium somewhere where you can still have your folks there? He can have his parents there also. But you're also doing it cheaply at a destination wedding, like in Conyers.

[Joanna]

Well, I think that, you know my biggest thing. Yes, There could be a medium. There could be just his family and my family however I want. And I know that everyone says, like, you shouldn't care. I want to make his mom happy, and I want to get married in a church. And we've already put a deposit on the church. Not that we couldn't get it back, but we've already put deposit on a church. So I'm trying to think, okay, maybe we could just do the church thing and then have a reception some other time at another time. When we're making more money and we can afford to, you know, fork over $100 a person. Because that seems to be the average in St. Augustine, Florida.

[Host]

So you know why in St. Augustine?

[Co-host]

Cause that's where all the a holes live that charge $100 a person.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, there's places here. I mean, they charge a lot more than that, too. That actually, when you said that, I'm like, oh, that sounds actually fairly affordable.

[Host]

Not when you're not making anything.

[Jennifer]

I know, but seriously, I mean, it's expensive.

[Co-host]

It is.

[Joanna]

And it's just. Oh. I just feel like. I just feel like I need to let go of that dream. I need to just grow up, let go of that, and realize it's gonna be okay.

[Host]

Like, if you keep that attitude for the rest of your marriage, that is exactly where you want to be, right there. That is exactly where you want to be.

[Jennifer]

Well, I. I do think it's. I do think it's a good learning lesson, you know, for you guys to struggle with this now before you get married. You know, talk about money and all that stuff.

[Co-host]

Can you give her some bird spigov Money? You just got, like, 27. Graph from Jersey. Mike's right.

[Host]

Hey, follow.

[Brandon]

Good morning.

[Jennifer]

We can do a Joanna and Jason sandwich.

[Host]

The number four, and all the money goes to them.

[Jennifer]

Like, a dollar per sandwich goes to their wedding. What are you talking about?

[Co-host]

Yeah, I'm like.

I take a whole different turn on this show.

How about a Joanna and Melissa sandwich?

[Host]

Paul, good morning. You're on the birth show.

[Co-host]

We all know you want me.

[Caller Brandon]

Joe, good morning.

[Host]

Hey, Paul, good morning.

[Co-host]

Hey.

[Caller Brandon]

We are. My fiance and I are getting married in a month. And, you know, it's getting down to crunch time, and everything's coming down on us, and everything that she wanted isn't working out exactly right. And I'm feeling that pressure when she. When she starts getting upset about this thing and that thing, you know, I just want to get married. I really don't care where or why, how it looks. I mean, I want it to be nice, but the details don't matter that much to me. But everything. Everything is getting her upset because it's not how she always pictured it. And I'm having trouble dealing with trying to. Trying to financially handle making her happy. I mean, she gets it, but it's still making her upset.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Sure.

[Host]

And as the dude, all you want to do is fix things, man. I mean, that's our instinct, is to try to fix it. And you, in a case like this, you don't have the cash. You can't fix it.

[Jennifer]

And Joanna's fiance, to me, sounds like the man who wants to be the provider.

[Joanna]

Yeah, absolutely. He wants to. He just wants.

[Jennifer]

That's important to him.

[Joanna]

He just wants to make me happy. And I just. And I am happy. I'm so excited to be marrying him, and I just want to marry him. And I don't want to put us in financial trouble.

[Caller Brandon]

I just.

[Joanna]

Just tomorrow. I don't care if we. I said. I said to him, I said, let's go get married at a justice of the peace. Like, I don't care. It's just about making his side of the family happy. At this point, to be honest with you, it's like, I felt so silly.

[Host]

Hey, Lynn. Good morning.

[Co-host]

He supports you. He'll support you at the Cheetah Stroker.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Hey, good morning, you guys. Listen, I'll tell you what. We have the same situation, and not only that, we had family members that lived out of state, so we did our own thing and had 10 or 15 people there that we really loved. And then our parents decided that because we didn't have the type of wedding that we wanted, they each planned a reception for us with their friends and family, you know, from each side of the family. And we ended up with great experience all the way around. I mean, that was treasured. Moments that I thought I was going to miss out on, and it turned out to be great. So, you know, you try and end up pleasing everybody, but the only people you need to please is yourself.

[Host]

I used to say the same thing. But the truth is, I mean, the reality of it is, you know, you want to say, like, look, this is 24 hours. I'm allowed to be selfish, do what I want, really work out that way. Sounds really great on paper, but it's not true.

[Co-host]

Well, if it ends up being his mom that you're trying to please, I mean, there's a part of me that, you know, I fault her a little bit because she. She obviously knows that y' all are paying for this yourselves. So if she wants something lavish, then she should flip the bill for it. I mean, like. Cause I can see where parents of the bride end up. I can see the pressure between the bride and the parents because they're talking about the details of the wedding, and it ends up. Well, the parents are paying for it. So that's why they want their family and their business partners and their, you know, all these people to come. I can see the conflict there. But since y' all can't afford It. And if there's an expectation there, then, you know what? Guess what? If you want it, then you got to provide it for me, you know?

[Joanna]

Yeah. And, I mean, it was not easy, but neither one of our families can financially help, so that's why I'm like, okay, so let's really evaluate right where we want to be. Because remember, you're going to school for two years, and you won't be working. So do we need to spend 15, $20,000?

[Co-host]

Probably not, no.

How's your mom looking? Can she do, like, a mother daughter show?

[Joanna]

Jeff.

[Jennifer]

Jeff won't let it go. Would you just show him your boobs?

[Co-host]

The Burt Show.

[Host]

The Burt Show. Good morning, Courtney. You're on the Burt Show. Hello.

[Caller Brandon]

Hello.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

How are you?

[Host]

Good. How are you, Courtney?

[Caller Flight Attendant]

I'm good. I have a question for Brandon.

[Brandon]

What's up?

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Why is it that you don't date black women?

[Host]

Oh, here we go.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Out of curiosity.

[Host]

I knew this was coming up.

[Brandon]

Honestly, I don't know. It's. I have many black friends that are women. I honestly don't know. Just never progressed that far.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

25.

[Brandon]

I'm 22. 20. I'll be 22.

[Host]

But I'm curious why. There must be some reason why you won't. You haven't dated a black woman.

[Brandon]

I guess all of the black women that I know have higher not hires. They have attitudes. I guess it's just the black woman I hang around with, and I'm somebody who doesn't deal well with attitudes.

[Host]

What kind of attitude you talking about?

[Brandon]

We call it the snappy finger attitude in the group of friends. Like, you know, the, oh, no, you didn't snap your finger, wag your head attitude.

[Co-host]

Mm.

[Brandon]

I don't deal well with attitudes very well. So it's just I'm cool friends with them and all that, but it's just never progressed past that.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Out of all the black women out there, you know, it's only a select few that are like that.

[Caller Brandon]

He's kind of.

[Host]

Brandon's kind of a. And he. He's a kind of a shy dude and kind of. He's intimidated easily. So I could see if he's had an experience like that.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

White women are more.

[Caller Brandon]

What?

[Brandon]

Again, I only went to school with mostly white people. Where I grew up, I went to a special school.

[Host]

I believe that.

[Brandon]

Yeah. You know, I rode a short bus, had to wear a helmet occasionally.

[Host]

But no, I went to.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Okay, so let me ask you. I went to a predominantly white high school as well. And then I turned around and I went To a black college. What kind of.

[Caller Brandon]

What college did you go to?

[Brandon]

I go to Kennesaw.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Okay,

[Host]

what was that? Condescending. Okay, what was that?

[Caller Brandon]

No, no, no, no.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

It's not like Morehouse or something like that. I'm just. No, I'm not a really quite interesting that. I mean, you know, he's African American, and he has no interest in black women at all.

[Host]

You're offended by this?

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Not really. I just find it interesting. I mean, you know, I just find it interesting.

[Co-host]

She's trying not to scare him off because she's about to get snappy fingers. She's like, hold on. I don't want to get hung up on. So I'm gonna be very methodical as I choose my words. And I find the Kennesaw. If you're not a Morehouse man, you can be a Kennesaw kid. That's okay.

She's having to sit on her hand.

[Host]

Courtney, surely this isn't the first time you've ever heard of a black man not dating within his own right?

[Caller Flight Attendant]

No, I mean, I've never quite understood why, though.

[Caller Brandon]

What.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

What was the reason behind all of that?

[Host]

So sounds like it's just an attitude thing.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's just I haven't. I have been attracted to black woman. It's not. I would date one if I met the right girl. It's not about looks for me. It's not about skin color or anything like that. It's just in my. In my life, I've only gone out with white girls.

[Co-host]

I find that interesting because I think that your personality would probably need an aggressive woman.

[Host]

Yeah, right.

[Co-host]

You know what that's supposed to mean? Because you're shy, which is. Okay.

[Jennifer]

Tell you what to do.

[Co-host]

That's all right.

[Jennifer]

Get over here.

[Co-host]

Yeah. A woman to come up to you at a bar.

[Host]

Yeah. I always get. So if. When I'm out with Dolvett, if we're around a group of women, and Dolvett will move to the side and go somewhere else, you know, like, a white woman will come up to me and say, oh, he's good looking guy. But I just don't date black guys. And I say, well, why not? And they never have a reason why.

[Brandon]

That's. I've. That's my experience in life, too, dude.

[Host]

That's offensive to me, though.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Like.

[Host]

And I'm white, and I'm like, well, why? I don't know. I just. It's just not my thing. How do you know if you.

[Caller Brandon]

I don't know.

[Co-host]

So that's her point with Brandon is like, he won't date black girls.

[Brandon]

So she's not saying I won't. Just, I haven't. It's just. It's never progressed to that with any girl, black girl that I've known.

[Jennifer]

It would be more of an issue if Brandon were a player and dated lots of girls.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Then it would be more of something to discuss. But, I mean, it's. You can count on one hand, right?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yeah. It's really more accurate to say you don't date any girls. Right.

[Co-host]

You can count on one hand. You can count on one thumb.

[Host]

I don't discriminate.

[Brandon]

I just don't date any girls.

[Jennifer]

It's all right.

[Co-host]

Romantic.

[Host]

Don't let him do it, too.

[Brandon]

I mean, we could still go outside and I can beat you with a

[Co-host]

baton, like, because there's plenty of shy guys out there. So, I mean, you know, I don't want to give you too hard of a time.

[Brandon]

Truth be told, at least I know how to change a tire. Jeff was hanging out in his car.

[Host]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

I came up trying to change a tire.

[Host]

Jeff, do you have white walls? Because he won't change a black T.

[Co-host]

Do you know what white walls are?

[Caller Flight Attendant]

No.

[Caller Brandon]

Hey, what's going on? Hey. I'm just saying the caller. I want to defend Brandon because the caller that he just spoke with, she. It's not. It's not like she was attacking him, but I want to say it's kind of cool for a black guy not to date a white woman, because I haven't dated a white woman. I'm 24 years old, and I've never. I'm sorry. I've never dated a black woman.

[Caller Trace]

Okay.

[Host]

And for what reason?

[Jennifer]

And that's cool.

[Caller Brandon]

Yeah, it's not a problem. It's not really a race thing. It's just. I found any black woman. Yeah, I haven't found any black woman that I was interested in, like, ever. I went to St. Paul's High School. I went to private school all my life. I go to Southern Poly now. And it's just I don't meet a lot of black women that I'm mentally attracted to.

[Host]

Is it just. Is it what you grow up with? I mean, it's. So if you're around.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Caller Brandon]

What you grow up with and who you're around.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Caller Brandon]

I have tons of black friends because of black female friends.

[Co-host]

I'd love to hear from a white guy who says, I only date black women, you know, that I. A white guy says, you know What? I refuse to date.

[Brandon]

That actually is a novelty that we see. Like, in my group of friends, like, we find it odd every time we see a white guy with a black girl.

[Co-host]

Really?

[Host]

Yeah, it really is a novelty.

[Co-host]

It's like a novelty.

[Host]

It's like, oh, wow.

[Brandon]

It's like. That's refreshing.

[Co-host]

Your words are so difficult on a regular level, but so beautiful on a radio level.

[Host]

I dated black girl before I met Stacy.

[Brandon]

Yeah, see, it's like a novelty thing.

[Co-host]

Like a thing you would pick out of a drawer at the dental office.

[Host]

The bird show.

[Co-host]

So I was. This happened a while ago when I was coming home from Arizona. So it was like a month ago. It was on. It was right after Jessica's birthday. So it was just over a month ago. And for some reason I've been randomly thinking about this person, but it was a conversation that started with how are you? And one follow up. And apparently he was. Well, not apparently, because he told me he was in Arizona on personal business and related to his sister and his sister's divorce and custody, kids and drug use. And he told me all about it because I just happened to be in the right place at the right time when he gave me a. And I gave him a How are you?

[Host]

You don't really expect a. A life story.

[Co-host]

Expect.

[Host]

I'm doing good. I'm doing fine.

[Jennifer]

How are you Are playing talkers like that?

[Co-host]

Well, I don't think. I honestly think it was just a situation, like where he may have been dealing with it, but haven't been able to, like, report it. So you were just the first. Yeah. And I'll give you a hint. The how are you? When the response is, I've been better. If you really. If you want there to be silence, you should say, oh, that's too bad, and then turn and put your ipod on.

[Host]

I'm sorry about that.

[Co-host]

Yeah, sorry about that. Good luck. Hope this flight's better. Hope you don't crash. Ha ha ha. Then put your ipod on and be done with it. As opposed to, oh, really tough weekend. Because then that could easily go into the sentence. Oh, yeah, man. My wife and her husband are splitting up and both addicted to drugs. So we're trying to sort out the custody of the kids. And I'm like, really random dude.

[Caller Brandon]

Yep.

[Host]

Never met this guy before.

[Co-host]

Really?

That's heavy. Wow.

What kind of drugs? And then it just. I don't know why I kept asking questions, but the guy was like, barfing up just data about really super personal things. And I couldn't even Tell you his first name. I know he was connecting through Atlanta. He doesn't live in Atlanta, but he was connecting through here. Going out of somewhere in Florida. But it was how long his sister's been on drugs, how she got her husband on drugs, how they have three kids, the kids gotta go. Or two kids, the kids have to go to different places. Cause they had just gotten arrested and I.

[Jennifer]

You just needed somebody to talk to him.

[Host]

Yeah, you just happened to be the first one.

[Co-host]

And I don't know why I continued to ask questions. But it was almost like a weird like sensing that there was. That he needed to talk.

[Host]

He came to the wrong guy. Cause you're as private as it gets. So for you to hear this. Actually you'll hear it. You just wouldn't say it.

[Co-host]

Yeah, I wasn't talking. I'm like, cool. So he's just letting the whole thing out. And it all just started with a. Either depending on what side you want to look at it either really poorly timed, how are you doing? Or really well timed, how are you doing? Because who knows what, you know, like if he was just sitting there that whole time stewing or something in the thing. But that's. And I remember it happened to somebody else in this room because when we talked about it before, it's happened to

[Jennifer]

me one time before where I sat down next to somebody and it was actually on a bus and you know, it was just like, oh, so you know, where are you from? And where are you from? Turned into, you know, his ex wife was committing suicide and he was taking care of the kids and this and that and the other thing. And it was literally somebody I had met for maybe a five minute meeting at one point. And then like this was like the second time I'd actually had a conversation with this person. And it was like all of a sudden like whole life story in 10 minutes. And I was going, wow, like I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet.

[Host]

I don't know you here is Sissy.

[Brandon]

Good morning.

[Host]

You're on Q100.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Hey guys. I work for one of the airlines here in Atlanta, the big one. And I just, I'm a flight attendant. But I just want to let you know that it's funny even as flight attendants, but just people tell you everything on the airplane because you know that you're not. It's not going to go anywhere. You never. You're probably never going to see these people again. So it's easy to open up.

[Host]

I think that there are some industries that breed that kind of thing more than others. Like, if you're a hairstylist. I've heard people giving up stuff in the chair. When you're a hairstylist, man, they know everything.

[Co-host]

It's like a safety zone for some reason.

[Host]

If you're a bartender, if you're in a bar and you're talking to your friend about something that's going on in your personal life, they'll hear everything. But if your friend hasn't arrived there yet, for whatever reason, the guy that's pouring you drinks is, like your psychologist.

[Co-host]

I feel like a cab driver probably has heard, especially from the drunk people,

[Host]

anybody that's safe, that you're never going to see him ever again. Why not Unload on them, right? Hey, the bird show. The bird show. Hey, Trace.

[Joanna]

Hi.

[Caller Brandon]

How are you?

[Caller Trace]

I'm good. How are you?

[Host]

Poor little Trace was out yesterday with her migraine.

[Caller Trace]

Yeah. You know what? I used to get them all the time before I had a baby, but now afterwards, I don't know. My hormones, I guess, are in high gear, so I get them more consistently, But I'm better today.

[Co-host]

I'm sorry.

[Host]

Body chemistry.

[Jennifer]

You have to completely shut down and close the windows and black everything out.

[Caller Trace]

Exactly.

[Host]

I used to work with a dude in Dallas. I think I told you about this guy. He used to have to do the show with all the lights off. And then when we were done talking, he'd go into a dark room by himself and just sit there until it was time to come back on the air and start talking again.

[Co-host]

Poor thing.

[Host]

I was a little like one of the regular guys.

[Caller Trace]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

I had a college roommate that if I walked into the dorm room and saw everything off, I knew to be very quiet when I was in there really bad.

Did you have it on Mother's day?

[Caller Trace]

It started to come on Saturday, and then on mother's day, I was kind of fighting it on and off, and then it wasn't till Sunday night that it actually kicked in.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host]

That's the only reason why I brought you down here, is to ask you how your mother's Day was.

[Caller Trace]

It was good. It was kind of a mother's day weekend because, you know, we split things between Saturday and Sunday. We had a birthday party to go to for Scott's niece on Sunday.

[Host]

On Mother's day?

[Caller Trace]

Yeah.

[Host]

Oh, dude, you can't do that.

[Co-host]

You can't be born on Mother's day. She wasn't born on mother's Day Unless you're a mom.

[Joanna]

She wasn't born on Mother's Day.

[Caller Trace]

She wasn't born on Mother's Day, but that's just the day that worked for everybody for the birthday party.

[Host]

That worked for you as a mother.

[Caller Trace]

Well, I can't complain, because I just realized that we planned Ella's birthday party for Father's Day.

[Co-host]

Sweet revenge.

[Caller Trace]

So, yeah, it worked perfectly. But it was really good Saturday, since we had to get up early for the party on Sunday. Scott got up early on Saturday and took Ella to the grocery store, made me breakfast, brought me flowers and all that stuff and some gifts. So that was fun. And then I got to do whatever I wanted on Saturday, which was basically nothing, because I never get to do nothing.

[Co-host]

It's like being at work.

[Caller Trace]

Yeah, right.

[Host]

For who? For Tracy.

[Co-host]

For all of us, Isn't it?

[Caller Trace]

It's Mother's Day every day for Jeff, isn't it?

[Host]

Jeff is the mother of the bird.

[Caller Trace]

So we just went to the farmer's market on Saturday, and I just hung out. And then on Sunday, we did the birthday party and then visited my mom.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Cool.

[Co-host]

So that was really nice.

[Host]

It is really convenient when your kids are this age and you can move around that birthday. It really is. It's very, very nice.

[Jennifer]

It's convenient whenever you want it.

[Host]

Hollis's is gonna be celebrated a week after his birthday. You won't know it, man. He's three years old. He has no idea.

[Caller Trace]

And Hayden's. You move around by, like, six months or something.

[Host]

We haven't celebrated his in four years.

[Co-host]

It's like leap year.

[Host]

We'll tell him when he's, like, 12 years old, celebrate all of them at one time. These were the mothers that didn't have such a great Mother's Day right here. We set up this vent line yesterday at the last minute because we realized early in the morning that moms were upset. And the mail that I email I got yesterday from moms that were so upset at husbands that didn't honor their wives that are also moms with the excuse, you're not my mother. Why would I give you anything?

[Jennifer]

That's the laziest thing I've ever heard. Selfish and rude and lazy mothers were so upset.

[Co-host]

I bet.

Well, and it's like. It's like we said yesterday, this is what you're gonna make a stand on. You know? This is where you choose your battles, guys. And if you honestly are digging in on the fact that she's not your physical mom, then that's just. I mean, you're not having sex all the rest of the month. You knew that, right?

[Host]

Because it Just reeks that you don't appreciate your wife as a mother. You don't know what she's doing. You just don't appreciate it. So, yeah, I got a bunch of emails about that yesterday. But here are some of the Atlanta moms really upset by Sunday and Mother's Day weekend.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

I'm not frustrated with a partner, but I'm. Well, actually I am. It was Mother's Day. He never does a thing. He controls everything, money and all. And three kids and still hadn't anything, done anything. So I'm on strike and I've already strike for a week now because he's sorry. So anyway, thank you very much and I hope there's not others that have sorry mates.

[Co-host]

That's like a product. There's something you put in your coffee.

[Host]

Like was she going on mommy strike or was she just going on I'm not giving them any good stuff strike?

[Co-host]

Probably both.

[Host]

What it sounded like.

[Co-host]

It sound like she did say strikes. There's something around the house she's not doing.

[Host]

That's like, that's major. You know, like when there are two countries that aren't getting along real well. First there's like the embargo. You know, the sexual embargo is very, very. That's a strong message, very powerful.

[Co-host]

And I was just thinking also with Mother's Day, it's almost like with women we're very, you know, social, like communal. So we're talking about everything that goes on. So it's kind of like why weddings are so important and women feel wedding pressure. Well, mother says the same thing. As a mother, not only do you not want to feel appreciated in your home, you don't want to have to tell your friends that nobody did anything for you for Mother's Day, you know,

[Host]

because the other mommy friends are going to look at you weird.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

End of message. Yes. I've been married for 13 years. I have three children. A 12 year old, 11 year old and a 5 year old. My husband has never gotten me anything for Mother's Day.

[Host]

Oh, is he walking in or something?

[Caller Flight Attendant]

I'm glad that you guys have this because I'm here.

[Host]

What happened on that last one?

[Jennifer]

I don't know. Somebody was walking in the door.

[Host]

She was venting and the husband probably walked in the door right there and then.

[Jennifer]

Why back down?

[Co-host]

You're so mad, like, oh, never mind, Flick.

[Host]

If Stacy was doing that, she would have spoke up. She would have started yelling into the phone. Oh, and here he is now, the guy that didn't give me Anything for Mother's Day Bird show.

[Co-host]

Here, bird is for you

[Caller Flight Attendant]

as hell. I am one of five children. Only two acknowledge my mother with gifts and came and saw her, myself included. Two of the other siblings did call and acknowledge my mother on Mother's Day, but one was a selfish. See you next Tuesday. Oh, I'm just so frustrated.

[Host]

She's talking about one of her own. Her own sister siblings.

[Caller Trace]

Yeah.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Hey, you know my mother's not in very good health and the least a little selfish could have done was to acknowledge my mother. She has done everything for her but she's up her mother in law's butt that because she's wanting in her will because she's extremely wealthy. I'm just, I'm glad that you guys have this line because I'm beyond livid with her and if I say all this stuff to her, it's going to start a all out family war. But she is a selfish, self centered, hateful city and I hope that her two sons do this to her. Thank you. Bye.

[Jennifer]

Wow, that's been boiling.

[Co-host]

I love the end of it and thank you very much. Have a good day.

[Brandon]

Bye. Bye.

[Host]

Yeah, that's been bubbling for a while.

[Co-host]

Yes.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Holy yes. My Mother's Day started on Saturday with my husband picking out a Mother's day card with my son while I was at the card store with them. And then Sunday I got a card and that was it. And we argued and we. End of message.

[Jennifer]

And that's how it ended. Weird.

[Host]

She too just ended like somebody walked in the room.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Hey moms. My Mother's Day was great because I had to teach my 2 year old to say Happy Mother's Day to me because I don't have other kids and I don't have a husband who can forget to do things for me. So I would kill for that. So you guys who think you have it so bad, you might not after all.

[Host]

And this message, this is turning up to school the rest of y' all terrific bits.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

I just wanted to say that as women get older and have kids of our own, it would be really nice if our mothers would remember we're mothers too. I spent my entire day doing everything my mother wanted to and then I had to go home and cut the grass. So much for my own Mother's Day. Thanks.

[Host]

What's that?

[Jennifer]

Was her mom gonna cut the grass for her? I don't understand that.

[Host]

I don't know.

[Jennifer]

She was like mad at her mom for doing stuff for her mom for Mother's Day and said I had to go home and cut the grass. What did she want? Her Mother's Day.

[Host]

That sounded like she was venting all the way around. Like the husband was supposed to cut the grass and didn't. She was complaining.

[Co-host]

She was doing everything all day long. Nobody did anything for her birthday.

[Caller Brandon]

Control.

[Host]

That's interesting though. Take on it, though. I've never heard a mom complain about her mom not celebrating their daughter as a mother.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Also, my Mother's Day was horrible. I have three children living at home all over the age of 20. Didn't get anything. Not even a high end of message. Oh, my God. For Mother's Day, my very, very first Mother's Day, I get a twenty dollar bill that says Happy Mother's Day on it. I am so freaking mad that I got a twenty dollar bill. Not a car, nothing. This is crap.

[Host]

She got a $20 bill.

[Co-host]

So he just said, happy Mother's Day

[Jennifer]

on a bill and handle it to her.

[Co-host]

It's a good trick that saves you the, you know, three bucks for the little bill holder.

[Host]

I can't think of anything less romantic than that.

[Co-host]

And she has to go spend that. She has to hand that to someone.

The only thing less romantic is if it was thrown at her. You know, like, here you go.

[Jennifer]

Just, just laying there.

[Host]

That's like something your grandparents do to you when you're like 4 years old when they give you a dollar bill,

[Co-host]

but at least it's in a card.

[Host]

Jacked up, Jacked up.

[Caller Brandon]

Get it?

[Host]

The bird show. You're on the bird show. We were just talking about kids and Mother's Day and stuff like that, and Jen is starting to feel a little pressure.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, definitely. It's funny, I went home over the weekend for Mother's Day and also for a family friend's wedding and went with my boyfriend and we had a really great time. So he got to spend some more time with my family. He'd already met them once and met my grandmother and all this kind of stuff. Hung out. My brother and his girlfriend were home, so everybody was back home in St. Pete for a big fun weekend. So it was awesome. But I just started realizing that I am not getting marriage pressure. I am getting baby pressure. Like, my parents are so ready to be grandparents and they're not yet. And my mom has expressed it to me in ways before, like, really heartfelt ways. We've had, like, heart to heart talks. Like, it's hard for her when, like, all of her friends are grandmothers now and all of them are doting and showing pictures and sort of showing off about like all of her friends grandkids. And her friends have like multiple grandkids. And then my parents went to my dad's 50th high school reunion last weekend or weekend before, and she goes, jennifer, okay. That's when my mom's serious. Oh, yeah, Jennifer, there are people there that are great grandparents. Okay? So like my dad's contemporary. Some are great grandparents at this point. So they not only have kids who have kids, but they also have kids. So they're just feeling left out of that whole part of it. And so I've been married before and since divorce now in a new relationship, and I don't even think they care if I get married again. They just want babies.

[Co-host]

They knew when you leave before you were.

[Jennifer]

Seriously, they are like, get over. I mean, who cares? My mom's like, could you just go elope really quick and just start having babies now?

[Co-host]

Didn't you catch them when you were sleeping around before Superman poking holes in the condoms you keep in your purse?

[Jennifer]

They do? Yeah, all the time.

[Caller Flight Attendant]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

My mom was just reading through and

[Co-host]

not even with like a needle and thread. Not even. Not even a needle. She was using a whole hole punch.

[Jennifer]

Stop it.

[Co-host]

Click.

[Host]

Jeffrey, if you called your mom today and told her that you were pregnant, she would be equally as excited as if you said you were engaged.

[Jennifer]

More excited.

[Host]

More excited now.

[Jennifer]

Even more excited.

[Host]

Really?

[Jennifer]

Yes. Because if I told her I was engaged, she'd be like, okay, when's the wedding? Let's hurry up and get that over with so we can get to the next date.

[Co-host]

Let's get to the honeymoon.

[Jennifer]

She already planned a wedding, whatever. Now she wants grandkids. And so the baby pressure is crazy. And it's really funny. Like, my brother is the one getting wedding pressure. Cause he and his girlfriend have been together about two years. They're like perfect together, all this stuff. She's great, we love her, want her to be my sister in law, all that. So he gets the wedding pressure. And like, they're just like skipping that part for me. Like, just hurry up and start reproducing now.

[Host]

Yeah, the pressure never goes away. I've said this before, that when you're single, people pressure you to be dating. When you're dating, you should be in a committed relationship. If you're in a committed relationship, people want you to be engaged. When you're engaged, your wedding can't get there fast enough. When you're married, they want you to have a kid. When you have the first kid, they want you to have a second kid. And then when you have the second kid, all of a sudden they start telling you to get a dog. So it never. Social pressure, never, ever goes away.

[Jennifer]

Man, I do feel bad about it though, because I know my mom's gonna be a great grandma and she's gonna be so good at it, is what I mean. And she just really, really wants that. I think she feels really jealous of all of her friends that have grandkids who can dote on grandkids. Cause I think you get to that stage in your life where you just want to spoil a kid rotten. Your own kids, you can't spoil rotten. You gotta raise them right and this and teach them right and wrong and this and that and to be nice, disciplined little creatures. But with your grandkids, who cares?

[Host]

Let em go.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, they can go over the top and just spoil them totally rotten. And she's at that stage in her life and so is my dad. They're just, they're ready for babies.

[Host]

Right.

[Joanna]

So when are you getting pregnant?

[Jennifer]

Well, I'm, you know, looking at the clock. No, I'm not. I mean, come on.

[Host]

And this is not an announcement or anything like that?

[Jennifer]

No, God, no. I just am getting baby pressure.

[Host]

It's weird, you know, without even being

[Co-host]

somewhere in Florida, some woman's looking at her radio going, no, it's not a freaking announcement. I wish my torny daughter would just do it already. God, we know she likes it. Just get it on, woman.

[Host]

Listen, it's the bird show.