The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Friday, March 13 [Vault]

Episode Air Date: March 13, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Bert Show Team

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show opens with listener drama centered around Kimberly, a woman grappling with whether to propose to her boyfriend despite his reservations about marriage. The conversation unfolds with real-time advice, debates on societal expectations, and heartfelt listener calls, blending humor and genuine concern. The latter half transitions to a candid discussion about holiday weight gain, with listeners calling in to confess their own indulgences and resolutions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kimberly’s Proposal Dilemma

Starts around [00:53]

• Background:
  Kimberly plans to propose to her boyfriend at Christmas, in front of his family—the first time she's met them in person.

  • Her boyfriend has previously expressed that marriage isn't important to him.
  • She intended to ask his father for permission but was met with skepticism.

• Kimberly’s Christmas Experience ([02:09])

  • She discusses her conversation with her boyfriend’s father, who, while affectionate, reminded her of his son’s stance against marriage.
  • Her boyfriend, aware of her plan due to his father, tells her:

    "I love you. I want to be with you...But this isn't the time or the place to do this...I'm not saying that it can’t happen. Just not right now." – Kimberly recounting the conversation ([03:33])

• Post-Christmas Developments ([04:54])

  • Despite her boyfriend’s gentle rejection, Kimberly contemplates proposing again on New Year's Eve or his upcoming birthday (January 18).

• Hosts’ Opinions:

  • Concerns are raised that Kimberly may be pushing too hard and ignoring clear signs he is not ready ([06:13]).

  • Discussion ensues around the “bride mode” mindset and how it leads to constant disappointment ([06:31], [10:06]).

  • Notable Quote:

    "You're constantly disappointed when after the road trip there's no ring. On your anniversary night, there's no ring… You're just setting yourself up for disappointment and you're pushing him into something that he's not ready for, I don't think." – Bert ([06:31])

• Listener and Host Concerns:

  • Several co-hosts and callers warn Kimberly not to embarrass her boyfriend or rush the process ([08:52], [09:20]).

  • Importance of letting him "warm up" to the idea of marriage without pressure ([06:44], [13:44]).

  • Emphasis on the difference between wanting a wedding vs. wanting a marriage ([08:15]).

  • Notable Listener Quote:

    "Kim should not do this. Not on his birthday. He's given her a 50, 50 chance that, yes, I may want to get married, and then again, I may not. So she's in a really good situation because the thumbs are up all in her court." – Caller ([08:52]) "Do not devastate the man and embarrass him on his birthday...Take it easy. Take it one day at a time. She's really rushing this. Let him propose to her. Don't mess it up because she's going to look like a crazy." – Caller ([09:20])

• Kimberly’s Perspective:

  • She claims she just wants marriage, not a fancy wedding, and is willing to sign a prenup ([08:15]).
  • She wants to have children before 30, setting her own timetable ([11:08]).

• Takeaways:

  • The hosts agree to check in with Kimberly before her boyfriend’s birthday ([13:54]).

2. Societal Timetables and Pressure ([11:08] – [13:53])

• The conversation broadens to societal expectations for women around marriage and children.
• Hosts and callers discuss:

  • Internalized timelines for marriage and motherhood.

  • The risk of sabotaging good relationships in pursuit of an arbitrary schedule.

  • The difficulty some women face being patient, especially as they approach 30.

  • Quote:

    "I'm afraid you're gonna lose sight of the fact that you have a great guy who loves you, whose family loves you...that you are going to throw him away for this idea of this marriage and this baby." – Cassie ([12:11])

3. Holiday Weight Gain Confessions

Begins at [15:43]

• Prompted by Celebrity News About Britney Spears:

  • Reports of her allegedly gaining 17 lbs over the holidays start a conversation about "letting go" during holiday periods ([16:03]).
  • The hosts invite listeners to share their own experiences of purposeful pre-New Year indulgence, aiming to beat the supposed "record" set by Britney ([16:42]).

• Listener Calls:

  • Megan: Gained 12 lbs intentionally after Thanksgiving, indulged in wine, alcohol, and desserts ([18:32]).

    • "For me and five other people." – Megan ([20:06])

  • Catherine: Gained 15 lbs over the holidays, attributing it to festive food and alcohol, especially after her fiancé proposed ([21:08]).
  • Kelly: Gained 24 lbs— from 185 to 209 over the holiday but lost 7 lbs quickly after returning to her fitness routine ([21:58]).
  • Terry: Confessed to 25 lbs gained, explaining she wanted a "clean slate" before starting her beach body journey ([22:49]).
  • Shannon: Topped the list at 28 lbs gained from December 1st, expressing no regrets as she enjoyed the food and believes she can lose it again ([24:30]).

    • "28 pounds in four weeks is really working hard." – Bert ([25:01])

    • "It was pure pleasure. I'm not gonna lie." – Shannon ([25:05])

• Themes:

  • The emotional and psychological side of weight gain, body image, and holiday resolutions.
  • Humor and camaraderie as listeners swap stories and motivations.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You’re constantly disappointed when after the road trip there’s no ring. On your anniversary night, there’s no ring… You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment and you’re pushing him into something that he’s not ready for, I don’t think.” – Bert ([06:31])
• “Kim should not do this. Not on his birthday… Take it easy. Take it one day at a time. She’s really rushing this. Let him propose to her. Don’t mess it up because she’s going to look like a crazy.” – Caller ([09:20])
• “I don’t want a wedding. I want a marriage.” – Kimberly ([08:15])
• “28 pounds in four weeks is really working hard.” – Bert ([25:01])
• “It was pure pleasure. I’m not gonna lie.” – Shannon ([25:05])

Important Timestamps

• [00:53] – Kimberly’s relationship dilemma and proposal plans
• [02:09] – Christmas Eve conversation with boyfriend’s father
• [03:32] – Boyfriend discovers the proposal plan and reacts
• [08:15] – Kimberly’s stance on marriage, weddings, and prenups
• [11:08] – Discussion on women’s life timetables and pressure
• [13:53] – Agreement to follow up with Kimberly before boyfriend’s birthday
• [15:43] – Discussion turns to holiday weight gain
• [18:32] – [25:05] – Listener confessions of holiday eating and weight gain

Summary

This episode covers the emotional rollercoaster of proposing marriage in a complicated relationship, the societal narratives that influence decisions on love and motherhood, and finishes with a humorous, relatable look at post-holiday body acceptance and self-improvement. The hosts, as always, balance empathy, honesty, and humor, turning authentic listener stories into moments of collective reflection and laughter.

For full context and real-time delivery, listen to the episode or connect with The Bert Show for upcoming listener updates and daily doses of honesty and fun.