Full Show PT 1: Friday, March 20 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Friday, March 20 [Vault]

Date: March 20, 2026
Cast: Bert, Jeff, Melissa, Jen, Katie + Callers

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings together the typical lively, authentic, and comedic banter the cast is known for, mixing real-life topics with listener engagement. The group discusses everything from relationships and jealousy over Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, to hilarious audio clips and relatable funeral faux pas, all while interacting with their callers in a disarmingly candid way. The tone is playful, self-deprecating, and at times poignant, offering plenty of laughs woven with moments of introspection about relationships and social behavior.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue & Relationship Reactions

• Bert shows off the cover featuring Bar Refaeli, sparking a debate about attraction, jealousy, and what counts as "harmless" admiration.
• Jeff admits to Googling Bar Refaeli’s relationship status out of curiosity, drawing laughter and an exploration of whether men (and women) go down this rabbit hole.
• The panel delves into boundaries in relationships—how open admiration for models might affect partners’ self-esteem.

Notable Quotes:

• Jeff [03:09]: “I googled her just to see if she was taken. And he's like, what? ... Just to see if maybe there's any chance ever in the history of time.”
• Melissa [05:42]: “The fear that you guys should have in being obsessed with your Sports Illustrated or with your video or whatever is making your woman feel inferior because she's a supermodel.”

Timestamps:

• 01:00 – 06:14: Main Sports Illustrated conversation and relationship jealousy debate

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2. Double Standards in Attraction

• The team discusses how women openly talk about attractive male celebrities, sometimes to the annoyance of men, drawing parallels to the model discussion.
• Callers chime in on whether it’s “hypocritical” for women to comment on male attractiveness while being sensitive about men admiring female models.

Notable Quotes:

• Caller Steve [08:28]: “I'm married... I know I'm not the best looking guy on earth, so of course, being a human, you better look and say, wow, that person sexy.”
• Bert [09:17]: “I don't care who my wife is looking at in magazines, even on the streets, so long as I'm home, she can be thinking of whoever she wants.”

Timestamps:

• 06:14 – 09:45: Double standards and relationship boundaries

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3. Viral Audio Clips & Listener Revenge

• Jeff shares two viral audio clips: one of a scorned girlfriend changing her ex’s voicemail out of revenge, and another of a child hilariously loopy after dental surgery ("Is this real life?").
• The cast dissects the hilarity and mild cruelty of laughing at the child (in the now-iconic “David After Dentist” clip), reflecting on how humor often differs by gender.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike's Ex-Girlfriend [13:01]: “So if you want to reach a loser, dial 280-5-5, girl. Other than that, have a great day.”
• David (child) [17:37]: “Why is this happening to me?... Is this going to be forever?”
• Jen [18:03]: “That mom was scared to death that he was over medicated.”
• Jeff [18:25]: “It's a little baby Michael Phelps. He said Phelps in training. That's the kid.”

Timestamps:

• 11:29 – 19:05: Viral audio segment, including ex-girlfriend's voicemail [13:01], David After Dentist [16:03–18:00]

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4. Listener Feedback: The “Never Listening Again” Club

• The show takes live calls from listeners who’ve sworn off the show before—sometimes over trivial reasons (accents, show format changes, hurt feelings).
• Discussion about how small annoyances, like Bert's “teeth sucking” sound or weather alert printer noises, can become amplified to listeners.
• Playful banter about previous listener submission ratings and personal insecurities.

Notable Quotes:

• Caller Steve [22:30]: “Your northern accent really gets on my nerves.”
• Caller Brandy [24:11]: “I stopped listening to you all … you all like me a four? I'm like, there's no way in heck that I'm a four.”
• Melissa [31:11]: “We may be divas, but we're not that much of a diva. We're on air going, well, anyway, Bert...”

Timestamps:

• 19:58 – 32:01: Listener feedback, grievances, and quirks
  • Bert's sucking sound & nail filing myth [30:01–31:51]

---

5. Funeral Stories: Mishaps and Humor Amid Grief

• Melissa and Jen share a story of attending a burial where Jen almost joins the wrong funeral procession—leading to reflections on how to "play it cool" if you realize you’re at the wrong grave.
• Listeners call in with their own comical funeral procession mishaps—driving through fast food with the whole procession mistakenly following, or breaking etiquette with traffic cops.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen [36:55]: “I'm at the wrong funeral.”
• Jeff [38:41]: “What did you learn from the Bert Show today? Not to spin your tires on the grave of another.”
• Caller Brandy [40:39]: “The Funeral lasted, no joke, three hours … A few of the family members are like, let’s just run down the road. … We have to jump out of the drive through line and go behind in the procession line … we just felt so bad.”
• Jeff [42:29]: “He turns off the road to go to down the road where the McDonald's is. The entire procession follows down.”

Timestamps:

• 33:31 – 46:14: Funeral stories and etiquette mishaps
  • Jen’s story: [33:35–38:50]
  • Caller stories: [40:31–45:44]

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Memorable Moments

• "Is this real life?" – David's iconic child-after-dentist ramble [17:17]
• Listener calls about giving up on the show over petty reasons (e.g. accents, rating photos, or food opinions) provide comedic self-awareness.
• Jen navigating the wrong funeral with comedic poise – “If you get stuck in the wrong procession, just go with it.” [38:46]

---

Overall Tone and Takeaways

The Bert Show’s signature blend of raw honesty, humor, and listener interaction is on full display. They aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves—or their audience—creating an atmosphere where nothing is off-limits but most things are up for a group therapy-like debrief, usually with a punchline. The episode encourages listeners to find the humor in mishaps, the humanity in everyday annoyances, and the camaraderie in shared embarrassment.

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Useful for New Listeners

• The mix of trending pop culture, real-life relationship dilemmas, and unvarnished personal stories makes this show accessible whether you’re a longtime fan or first-timer.
• The interplay between hosts and audience highlights why the show is such a morning staple: it’s as much about the listeners as the cast.

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[Jeff]

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[Bert]

The Burch show all right, this is Bar Rafale. This is your cover of Sports Illustrated right here.

[Melissa]

She's the one that's with Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Jeff]

Yeah, that guy.

[Melissa]

God bless him.

[Bert]

I mean, look at that picture showing

[Melissa]

us the COVID of Sports Illustrated magazine right now.

[Bert]

Why am I showing it to you?

[Jeff]

Yeah, no reason.

[Bert]

I just wanted to pull that. And let's look at it because Jeff and I were talking briefly yesterday about Sports Illustrated and he confessed something. Maybe it's only something a guy would find fun. I thought was hilarious.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And I guarantee you I'm not the only guy that this thought popped into my mind, too.

[Jen]

But Danica Patrick's in there, by the way.

[Jeff]

Yeah, that's what she and her pictures are.

[Bert]

And normally we'd be talking about her, but when that picture and that perfection is on the COVID and there's a video that goes along with it.

[Jeff]

Well, here's the deal. And I'm going to play the video because I ended up.

[Jen]

Not that I've seen the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or anything.

[Jeff]

Have you seen the video?

[Jen]

I saw what you put on your blog.

[Jeff]

Yeah, creepy. No, I didn't put anything creepy. I put the video of Bar Refale is. I'm saying her name right?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna call her Bar. I've been putting the. I put the video.

[Jen]

Does her name really matter?

[Jeff]

I put the video of Treat her with respect.

[Jen]

Sorry. Yes.

[Jeff]

Of Bar on my blog. And I put. I posted this because I really, really Love the music they use. But when you watch the video, it could be the hottest video in the history of Earth. I mean, obviously of Earth.

[Bert]

I have to agree with him, because she is literally. She is utter perfection with no airbrushing.

[Jeff]

So I was in there with Bert yesterday, and I think he had his Sports Illustrated out or whatever, but it

[Bert]

was pinned to my chest.

[Jeff]

Yeah, he had the Sports Illustrator. I saw something that reminded me of her, and I'm like, oh, my God, have you seen the video that goes along? And it's basically a video of her photo shoot, and she talks about the photographer, which was really amazing because I didn't even know notice she had a head.

[Jen]

Jen, is it the sexiest video on Earth ever?

[Melissa]

Well, I don't. I'm not interested in women, so I would say, no, but.

[Jeff]

Get over here, Carter.

[Bert]

But I mean, you could still look at a woman.

[Melissa]

She's absolutely beautiful. I mean, definitely, hands down, she's gorgeous.

[Jeff]

But so we started talking about the video, right? And I said, bert, have you seen the video? And he goes, yes. I'm like, I didn't even know that was out there until the day before yesterday. Somebody emailed it to me. So I. I watched it, and he goes, yeah. And I go. And then he made the Leonardo DiCaprio comment. I'm like, yeah, I know she's dating him. I googled her just to see if she was taken. And he's like, what? I'm like, well, you know, just to see if maybe there's any chance ever in the history of time.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Jeff]

Just to see if there's any chance ever in the history of time that it doesn't have to be me, but, you know, maybe I could hook her up with check away or something.

[Bert]

You were saying yesterday was for you.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert]

I mean, see if she was available for you.

[Jeff]

Just to see what her status was.

[Melissa]

Is that a guy? You guys do that?

[Bert]

I don't know that I've ever googled anybody's status.

[Jeff]

Well, I googled her with the intention of seeing if she had a boyfriend. And then when I found out it was Leonardo DiCaprio, I actually got mad at him.

[Bert]

It's like, the rich get richer.

[Jeff]

Yes. I'm like, dude, you already had Giselle.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Like, what are you doing with Barbara

[Bert]

F. Like, normally on the dating curve

[Jen]

of life, you guys seriously just live in a fantasy world all the time.

[Jeff]

Pretty much. Without a doubt.

[Bert]

I got an email that I wanted to read here that we just don't have time for that. It has to do with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. And it's from a Berkshire listener that got in a huge fight with his wife. I guess this came in on Tuesday night in the mail because she considers it porn, and she will not have porn in his house. And she's demanding that he cancel his subscription to Sports Illustrated now. Because of the magazine. I'll get into it tomorrow.

[Jeff]

I gotta tell you, I mean, I appreciate that listener's point of view. And I would encourage him to not look at the Sports Illustrated issue, but rather look at the video of the great beach scenery and music that I have posted on my blog.

[Bert]

Yeah, you don't need the magazine if you got the video.

[Jeff]

Sure.

[Melissa]

But I mean, is something like that. Would that hurt Jessica's feelings?

[Jeff]

No. Cause she would. Jessica would analyze her as much as. More than I would.

[Jen]

Not the same way.

[Jeff]

Right. But she would be like, I understand it. Yeah. She's like, well, no, but I mean, she would be like, oh, my God, do you think she works out? I bet she's one of those people that can eat whatever she wants. Blah, blah, blah. Look at that.

[Jen]

She's just trying to be involved in the conversation with you.

[Jeff]

But then this is what you were

[Bert]

looking for here, Jenkins. It's in the email. This guy's wife. And I'll read the whole thing tomorrow. But it's. Why do you want to look at any woman but me anyway? You really need that to get you turned on? I'm not good enough? Is that what you really want me to look like is what his wife is hitting?

[Melissa]

I think the fear that you guys should have in being obsessed with your Sports Illustrated or with your video or whatever is making your woman feel inferior because she's a supermodel. I mean, she gets paid millions and millions of doll a year to look like she looks.

[Jeff]

And that's not enough, just so you know.

[Melissa]

Well, and all I'm saying is that the attention that you give to that only makes your woman feel bad about herself. So just be careful with how much

[Bert]

you share that out of that now.

[Jeff]

And I think.

[Melissa]

But I'm just saying, like, just be careful how much you share with her. Like, talk with your guy friends about it, but in front of your woman. It hurts our feelings.

[Bert]

I think she threw it in my office, but I don't even think that I. Yeah. I would never thumb through it with her unless she wanted to.

[Jeff]

Let me tell you why. I am perfectly okay telling Jessica that I watched a video of Bar Refehli.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Jeff]

While we were on vacation, we're sitting at the beach bar of the place we were staying at. And we were sitting at the corner of the bar and the only other people in the bar at the time were three dudes sitting down at the end. And we're sitting there and they're making it, you know, we're getting our foo fooey, beachy drinks, blender, whatever. So it took them a couple minutes to make them. And while they're making them, Jessica says to me, hey, you know how you always want me to point out to you that guys that I think are really, really good looking? And I answered, yes. But in my mind I'm like, I don't ever remember having that question. I don't ever remember asking that question. But I'm like, yeah. And she goes, okay. The guy to my left, the one in the hat closest to me, he is what I would consider a really good looking guy. And I said, okay. And I kind of lean out and I look and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. And she goes, I mean, that guy right there is, I mean, he's the perfect height. And you know, he's not like real beefy muscle guy. Like he's got a little extra weight on him, but he's, you know, but, but he looks like an all American guy. And I'm like, yep. She goes, you know, like how his face is kind of, you know, beachy, like not shaved but like, not all scruffy and gross. And I go, yeah, jeez. And the way, I mean, he's just like, he's fashionable without trying, like, you've got cargo shorts on. And in my mind, and the way

[Bert]

he is, everything you're not right.

[Jeff]

In my mind, I am thinking about, like, I'm not processing what she's saying because I'm like, when have I ever asked her to point out really hot guys? Never, like, did she just totally jack me into this conversation?

[Bert]

I mind tricked you.

[Jeff]

Yes. So if she ever says, did you seriously post a picture of Barbara Faley on your blog and talk about how hot she was, I could say, did you seriously sit at the end of the bar and talk about the hot guy who wasn't me at the other end?

[Jen]

Now for some women on the situation that Jessica put you in, going back to what Jen's saying, there's some guys who, they must not know what they're doing, but they make comments like that almost every day about woman they see on TV or in the magazine or whatever.

[Bert]

That would be infuriating.

[Jen]

Yeah. And a woman is, is, you know, internalizing that.

[Bert]

A guy wouldn't dig that either. Hey, Sean. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Steve]

Hey, how's it going, Bert? Love you guys. Show. I was on it. I'm the one with the social bomber wife.

[Jeff]

With the what?

[Melissa]

The social.

[Caller Steve]

Yeah. I'm just kind of confused. Sounds like Jen and Melissa being hypocrites. Okay, you guys are talking about her being on a cover. You didn't say anything about her tatas or nice. But when they were talking about Beckham. Oh, my God. You can't be hypocritical about that. It's just something to look at. I'm married. I've been with my wife for 19 years. And you know what? I know I'm not the best looking guy on earth, so of course, being a human, you better look and say, wow, that person sexy. Oh, that first. That guy's hot.

[Melissa]

I never said don't look. I said just how much you talk about it in front of your woman.

[Bert]

I'm still maintaining. I don't care who my wife is looking at in magazines, even on the streets, so long as I'm home, she can be thinking of whoever she wants.

[Jeff]

Is there any entertainment value? And I think only Stacy and Jessica could do this. But having them collect over the next few days photographs of three or five guys that they think are masculine perfection.

[Caller Marlene]

Yes.

[Jeff]

And posting them online with a picture of us next to it.

[Bert]

Yeah, I'm pretty much. I'm pretty sure Stacy wasn't looking for all this.

[Caller Steve]

Right?

[Jeff]

The Birch show.

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[Jeff]

So over the past couple days I've found these two random pieces of audio. They're not in any way related, but I wanted to share them with you. Hopefully you'll find them as funny as I am. I'm most worried about the second one being as funny because it's also a visual. So I posted it on my blog yesterday and then Sean, you can put it up on, you know, link it up online too so it's there for people to watch. The first piece of audio is a woman who obviously keeps her boyfriend's cell phone in her name and they broke up so she, she changed the greeting. And then the second piece of audio is a seven year old boy who had to go have dental work done. So he was, he got the gas, he was on pain pills and gas and dad filmed him.

[Jen]

Oh, that's just so weird.

[Jeff]

While he was. So the visual is as is the audio is hopefully as good as the audio and visual together. So first, I don't know where this took place, I don't know where this is, this piece of audio is from. But guys, if you are going to cheat on your girlfriend, you probably want to make sure that she doesn't have the access code to your phone or worse yet, has your phone in her name because then everybody who calls her might hear something like this.

[Mike's Ex-Girlfriend (voicemail)]

Hi, you have reached 9827 and yeah, formerly Mike Ribbon's phone. No longer Mike your phone. If you want to reach Mike, you can reach him at 28050. This is no longer Mike's phone. And the reason why is because Mike likes to cheat on his pregnant girlfriend and Mike likes to hang out with his old girlfriend and he likes to, you know, forget to mention to, you know, check that he's meeting that he has a pregnant girlfriend at home. And then you know, I end up finding out when I talk to exhaust that he people I'm his roommate. So that's why Mike doesn't have this phone. So because he's a loser and he's a cheater and he's a liar and he's just really no good and probably going to be a father, but thank God my kid will never have to deal with that because, well, I have nothing to do with this kid because unlike his other exes, I. I don't want his influence in my child's life. So just want to let that be known. So if you want to reach a loser, dial 280-5-5, girl. Other than that, have a great day.

[Melissa]

Sweet revenge there.

[Jeff]

I love the way she ends it on an up note. Other than that, have a good day. If you're looking for a loser, here's the loser line. So that's what happened to poor Mike. And then this one here. The video will be up online shortly. Poor Mike. Yeah, I don't really buy that.

[Melissa]

And why is the cell phone in her name anyway? I mean, isn't that a red flag that you shouldn't be dating him?

[Jeff]

Yeah,

[Jen]

it's pretty arrogant for him to have her pay for everything and then he cheat on her.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I mean, guys have never been known for their wisdom.

[Jen]

Save that.

[Melissa]

Well, women either, because, you know, her decision to stay with a guy and have a baby with a guy who can't get his own damn cell phone, I mean, you know.

[Jeff]

Well, you don't understand. It's not his fault. There are some issues with his job that prevented his bills from being paid.

[Jen]

Right.

[Jeff]

On account of that, he's just trying to get his credit report in order. So during that, if you could just keep this in my name for a minute, that would be cool.

[Jen]

But you didn't cheat on Jessica while she was doing that for you.

[Jeff]

So, about details. So that's Mike. And then this little guy's name. He's seven years old. His name is David. And he had to have some teeth pulled. And he's coming home from the dentist. So the visual of this is dad, obviously in the driver's seat of the car, and he's turned around with the video camera.

[Melissa]

You gotta do this to your kid.

[Jeff]

On the kid.

[Melissa]

Oh, and he's coming home from the dentist.

[Jen]

That's mean. His mom made me whistle when I'd get home from the dentist. And you know when you whistle after

[Jeff]

the dentist, your mind because you had the Novocaine directions.

[Jen]

Yeah, she thought that was funny.

[Jeff]

So. So dad has turned around with the video camera, and he put the camera on the kid, and now he's just processing his child's commentary about being on probably nitrous oxide or whatever they use high as a kite surgery.

[Katie]

Yeah, I know. How did it go?

[David (child)]

I didn't feel anything?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Oh my God.

[David (child)]

I feel fine.

[Katie]

Kind of felt good, didn't it?

[David (child)]

Is this real life?

[Katie]

Yeah, this is real life.

[Jeff]

Oh my God.

[David (child)]

Okay, now. Okay, now I. I have two fingers.

[Katie]

Good.

[David (child)]

Four fingers.

[Katie]

Four fingers. Nuh. Don't put that in. Don't put it in your mouth. Okay,

[Jen]

but I'm hungry, dad.

[Katie]

You feel good.

[David (child)]

I can't see anything.

[Katie]

Yes, you can. Stay in your seat.

[David (child)]

I don't feel tired.

[Katie]

You don't? No.

[David (child)]

Do I have stitches?

[Katie]

Huh?

[David (child)]

Do I have stitches?

[Katie]

Yes.

[David (child)]

On my teeth?

[Katie]

Yeah. Don't touch it. Don't.

[David (child)]

Why can't I touch it?

[Katie]

Because it'll mess up the stitch. Stitches.

[David (child)]

You have four eyes. Yeah, I. I feel funny. Why is this happening to me?

[Katie]

It's okay, boy. It's just from the medicine. Okay.

[David (child)]

Is this going to be forever?

[Caller Brandy]

Oh, no.

[Katie]

No, it won't be.

[Jeff]

And then he just passed out. That's him falling asleep when he got home.

[Jen]

That mom was scared to death that he was over medicated.

[Melissa]

Oh, poor little thing. Is this gonna be forever?

[Jen]

And of course, I thought I had his. Only the dad would videotape it. And that is funny because I'm sure he got railed by his wife, like, you know. Why did you videotape him?

[Jeff]

You got it.

[Melissa]

Aw, that is so stupid.

[Jen]

Is this gonna be forever?

[Melissa]

Oh, honey, no. And the fact that you took such joy in laughing at it makes me. I feel like you're even more twisted than I originally thought.

[Jeff]

It's a little baby Michael Phelps. He said Phelps in training. That's the kid. Oh, he's precious with his big tooth missing.

[Melissa]

Oh, buddy.

[Jen]

God bless Joe.

[Melissa]

See, women and men have different senses of humor.

[Jeff]

You're laughing at it, all of you. Everyone in this room.

[Jen]

But then when he started saying, is this going to be forever?

[Jeff]

And he doesn't know it's his first

[Jen]

trip, I feel funny. Is this real life? What?

[Jeff]

It's his first trip. It could be a lot worse. Remember my old roommate? The first time he smoked? He ran down the street from the Sigma Chi house wearing nothing but his underwear, thinking he was on fire.

[Jen]

Yeah, the father.

[Melissa]

Some good stuff.

[Jeff]

Well, we tried to go get him until campus security showed up. And then we were like, oh, you're on your own.

[Jen]

Why don't you videotape him?

[Jeff]

Good friends. Well, because back then, video cameras were the big giant things that sat on

[Jen]

your shoulder with a big floodlight. Turn it, everybody switches. Squinted in the videos.

[Jeff]

The Burch show,

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[Jeff]

So we threw it out here. We actually got a phone call yesterday from somebody who said, I'm never listening to you again.

[Jen]

Right.

[Jeff]

Usually when people say that, they say things that are, you know, it's really bizarre. Things that make them decide, you know, that they're not listening for them.

[Melissa]

It's sneezed too much, right? I'm never listening again.

[Jen]

Your voice annoys me.

[Jeff]

I actually had a friend of mine. I had a friend of mine say, remember there was this brief period of time where throwing. Hitting each other in the face with a paper wad.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Jen]

Love this.

[Jeff]

While we were on the air was a big deal. Somebody got so annoyed at the sound of and weather today.

[Caller Brandy]

Ah.

[Jeff]

And then somebody goes, good shot. Got so annoying. And it was only like, I don't know, four weeks. But two weeks into it, they're like, I can't listen to you anymore. And they turned it off.

[Melissa]

One of my friends said that we used the voice disguiser too much in one week. And she was like, nah, I can't hear it anymore.

[Jeff]

Because once something like that gets inside your head, then it's the only thing you hear.

[Jen]

It's the only thing you hear, right?

[Jeff]

Like, if you hear a song, even that has, like, an obscure sample in it, and then somebody points out what that sample is, the only thing you can hear. Get out of my head.

[Melissa]

It was like my dad, when I was a teenager, could point out how many times they said, like in a sentence, and he would go. I would tell him a conversation. You know, how was school today? And I would finish it, and he would be like, 13. 13 times you said the word like in that sentence. And then all you can do is say, like, yes, because you're trying not to.

[Jeff]

Hey, John. Welcome to the Bird show.

[Caller Steve]

Hey, good morning.

[Jen]

What's going on, man?

[Caller Steve]

I'm just. Just venting on you, Jeff.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Jen]

Oh, no.

[Caller Steve]

You know, I guess one thing I can't really. I'm not really happy about the way that, you know, your northern accent really gets on my nerves.

[Jeff]

Now, getting on your nerves is one thing, but have you ever said, I'm never listening to that show again?

[Caller Steve]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay, good.

[Melissa]

I'm glad you're back.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

How often do you say that?

[Caller Steve]

Well, just about every day I listen to you. You know, the only reason, you know, you talk about this ranch dressing. I know a lot of northerners, and they. They like ranch dressing. You talk about putting ranch dressing, make love to ranch dress and all this stuff. But. But, you know, really and truly, you're too opinionated. And when y'. All. When the. When Burt's not there. Yeah, it's.

[Caller Brandy]

It's.

[Caller Steve]

It's total different show, you know, And I think you compensate a little bit too much. You're not yourself. When he's not there, you kind of change, you know, I don't know. But, yeah, that's. That's one thing. But I think most of all, it's that northern damn accent.

[Melissa]

He's so Southern, he can't stand it.

[Jeff]

And the worst part about having a northern or having an accent and being the person with it is you don't hear your own accent.

[Melissa]

I don't hear your accent.

[Jeff]

If I could.

[Melissa]

I'm just used to it.

[Jeff]

If I could, I would exaggerate it, like, if I knew what it was.

[Melissa]

Yeah. I notice your accent is when you say ruin instead of ruin.

[Jen]

Yeah. I laugh internally that every time that guy was. And I'm never listening again.

[Jeff]

That fellow right there is Pretty Southern. He probably thinks you have a Northern accent, Ms. Hobby.

[Melissa]

That's true.

[Jen]

You know what annoys me is there's no accent there. Fake Southern accents.

[Melissa]

Hey, Randy, by the way, ranch dressing

[Jen]

is really good on everything.

[Jeff]

Oh, ranch dressing is heaven.

[Caller Marlene]

I know.

[Melissa]

I love it.

[Jeff]

Hey, what's going on, Randy?

[Caller Brandy]

Well, it's Brandy, actually.

[Jeff]

Hey, Brandy.

[Caller Brandy]

I stopped listening to you all, I guess because my ego got hurt a few years. About four years ago, you all had. You send your picture in and you get. Right. You all like me a four?

[Melissa]

Oh, no.

[Caller Brandy]

I'm like, there's no way in heck that I'm a four. I mean, I'm just like, okay.

[Caller Steve 2]

I was like.

[Caller Brandy]

And then I think it was Tracy doing it. I'm like, well, that skis isn't that cute either, so I'm just gonna stop listening.

[Caller Marlene]

Wow.

[Jeff]

Did you. Did you come back?

[Caller Brandy]

Yeah, I did.

[Jen]

We missed you. Yeah, I'm glad you're back.

[Jeff]

Did you come back to the show when you heard that Tracy got all pregnant, which means she's getting fat and that way?

[Caller Brandy]

I actually came back before then.

[Jeff]

Okay, good.

[Jen]

I can't believe you said that, Jeff.

[Jeff]

But is part of you secretly happy that she's pregnant?

[Caller Brandy]

Well, I'm. I'm not mad. I mean, that's a good thing.

[Caller Steve]

So.

[Caller Brandy]

Yeah, but I mean, I'm mad. I mean, I wish her luck, but I'm like, I'm so not a four.

[Jeff]

I don't think she was doing the rate. I mean, I don't want him to send you away again, but I think she was just bringing them into us and telling and reporting what the ratings were. But if I'm not mistaken, I think we were rating you.

[Melissa]

No, I thought it was listeners. I thought it was other listeners doing the ratings.

[Jen]

We just. We got her back.

[Melissa]

We just got her back.

[Caller Brandy]

Especially with that picture I sent in. I'm like. I don't like somebody's a jealous hemper.

[Jeff]

Do you want to send in another picture and we'll.

[Jen]

Jeff, we just got her back.

[Melissa]

No, Brandi loves us now.

[Jen]

Thank you, Brandy. Thank you.

[Jeff]

Bye, Brandi.

[Caller Brandy]

Thank you. Bye.

[Caller Steve]

Bye.

[Jen]

I don't know what's wrong with you.

[Jeff]

Hey, Cody, what's going on?

[Caller Steve 2]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

What's up?

[Jen]

Good morning.

[Caller Steve 2]

I used to hate you guys.

[Jen]

Why?

[Caller Steve 2]

I was a loyal fan to 99X.

[Jen]

Oh, I see.

[Jeff]

And we took him over.

[Jen]

I still get that. I still get people mad at me.

[Jeff]

But you gave us a chance, and

[Caller Steve 2]

I gave you guys a chance. And Bert just had the best personality. And you all are hilarious. So we'll see you every morning when I go to work.

[Jeff]

Did you especially like those pictures of Bert with his shirt off?

[Caller Steve 2]

That's a negative.

[Melissa]

Now he's never listening again.

[Jen]

He's like, God, Jeff, I'm sabotaging this.

[Jeff]

I hear that a lot, too. Like the 99x thing.

[Jen]

I just got it the other day.

[Jeff]

Hey, Steve. Welcome to the show.

[Caller Steve 2]

Hey, how's it going?

[Jeff]

What's up?

[Caller Steve 2]

Hey. Yeah, I was just calling. I still listen to the show. You know, I love you guys, and my wife actually is the one that got me started, but now she's kind of ticked off at you guys.

[Jen]

What did we do? What we do?

[Caller Steve 2]

Well, it was just the. When the whole Obama inauguration was going on, and she kind of felt like you were a little over the top on it, and she's a big Republican, so it kind of hurt her feelings a little bit, and she just got turned off.

[Jeff]

And remind us again, who is Obama?

[Caller Steve 2]

Obama is our president.

[Melissa]

Well, tell her that now that it's, you know, the election coverage and the inauguration, everything is said and done, we're back to talking about much more superficial things.

[Jeff]

Right?

[Caller Steve 2]

Like, that's what I've been trying to tell her, but I think for a little while, she needs to. She needs to not listen.

[Melissa]

She needs to nurse her McCain wounds.

[Caller Steve 2]

Yeah, I think she's. I think she's kind of chilled out right now.

[Jeff]

I don't know what this is about, but if you want to tell her to listen tomorrow when Bert is back, if he's feeling better, he'll be back tomorrow. Apparently, he said on the air yesterday that he.

[Jen]

He's not happy with Obama.

[Jeff]

He's not happy with Obama, who he voted for. So you may want to have her tune in for that, and that'll make her. Because I won't say much during that, but inside, I'll be like,

[Caller Steve]

okay, thanks

[Jeff]

for the call, Steve.

[Caller Steve 2]

All right, thanks.

[Jeff]

I'll see you. Bye. Hey, Marlene.

[Caller Marlene]

Hey.

[Caller Steve 2]

Hey.

[Melissa]

When did you say you're never listening to the virtual ever again?

[Caller Brandy]

I haven't said I never listened to it. I said I just started recently listening to it, and I've enjoyed it.

[Jen]

Oh, thank you so much.

[Jeff]

Okay, well, that's cool. Thank you. Give it time, because we'll do something. It'll make you say never again.

[Caller Brandy]

I don't know. You're not.

[Caller Marlene]

Not boring.

[Caller Brandy]

You're very exciting to listen to. There's always something going on, and it's just exciting.

[Jeff]

Well, that's our problem, because we're exciting and we're opinionated. And, you know, we're only opinionated if

[Jen]

it's the other opinion.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Caller Marlene]

We're opinionated.

[Caller Brandy]

And if people can't, you know, stand the opinion, that means it's the truth, and it hurts them.

[Caller Steve]

And truth hurts.

[Caller Brandy]

So they might as well, you know, just get a grip and get over it.

[Melissa]

That's right.

[Jeff]

Wow. I want. You know what, Marlene? I almost want to get your number. And if somebody ever calls us and says, never listen to you again, then I want you to talk to them.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Because they probably still won't listen, but at least you'll put them in their place.

[Caller Brandy]

All right, I can do that.

[Jeff]

Hey, Teresa, welcome to the show.

[Caller Brandy]

Hey, good morning.

[Jeff]

What's up?

[Jen]

Morning.

[Caller Marlene]

I was calling because, I don't know if you guys remember, I had called to volunteer to take the lie detector.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Caller Marlene]

It was voice activated. I was terminated from my job for

[Caller Brandy]

porn, and you guys brought me on

[Caller Marlene]

and said I had the lowest score but never allowed me to come back on to give where it was at.

[Caller Brandy]

And I just wanted to call and

[Caller Marlene]

say I listen again, because after that, I didn't.

[Jeff]

So you stopped listening after we proved you were a liar, and now you're back.

[Caller Brandy]

No.

[Caller Marlene]

Well, no, you guys actually never let me come back on. You had me come on and say I had the lower score, but you never had me come back on to

[Caller Brandy]

show where it was telling me that I had lied.

[Melissa]

Oh. Oh, why didn't we do that?

[Caller Marlene]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

We always follow up on stories a

[Caller Marlene]

couple times, and my mom was re diagnosed with cancer, and she kept saying, you know, we'll do it the next time.

[Caller Brandy]

We'll do it it next time. But I just had so many other things going on. I just said, you know what?

[Caller Marlene]

Just forget it.

[Caller Brandy]

But actually went, you know, we had

[Caller Marlene]

a hearing, and I won my case

[Caller Brandy]

because they had no proof, so. Wow.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Congratulations for you. Well, thank you.

[Melissa]

Thanks for coming back.

[Jeff]

Thank you for coming back.

[Caller Brandy]

Yeah.

[Caller Marlene]

I love you guys.

[Caller Brandy]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

I'm surprised. We follow up on a follow up on a follow up on a follow up.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, we will drag it out.

[Jen]

Yeah, we will.

[Jeff]

Hey, Katie, welcome to the show.

[Caller Marlene]

Hey, how are y'?

[Caller Steve]

All?

[Jeff]

What's up?

[Caller Marlene]

You guys make some of the strangest

[Caller Brandy]

noises, and I don't even think you're aware of it. Like, Bert constantly sucks air through his teeth. Do you guys know that?

[Jeff]

Oh, come on.

[Caller Brandy]

Don't do that.

[Jen]

Give us the example we're gonna listen to.

[Caller Marlene]

Yeah, give us the example.

[Katie]

What does it sound like.

[Jeff]

What does it sound like?

[Caller Brandy]

He'll. He'll be like.

[Caller Marlene]

Like in between a sentence and just

[Caller Brandy]

breathe in really hard. It's uncomfortable to listen to. And one of you guys files your nails on the air. I know you do.

[Jen]

I've never filed my nails.

[Jeff]

You know what? I can tell you what that is. That's not nail filing. We have. There's a piece of equipment in here that they cannot legally remove from the studio that is related to the weather alerts. Weather alerts?

[Jen]

Abducted children.

[Jeff]

And it has to be in the studio because it prints out. It's a little printer urgent thing. But the printer is seriously, like one of those old school stock tickers.

[Melissa]

It is. It's like this.

[Caller Marlene]

Yeah. It sounds like somebody's filing their nails,

[Caller Brandy]

and I'm like, seriously? You're gonna scratch them all off.

[Jen]

We may be divas, but we're not that much of a diva. We're on air going, well, anyway, Bert.

[Caller Brandy]

Well, tell Bert to change the way he breathes.

[Caller Marlene]

It's really annoying.

[Jeff]

All right, we'll pass it along to him. Thanks for calling, Katie.

[Caller Brandy]

Bye.

[Jeff]

Bye. Bye.

[Jen]

I'm glad you figured out what that was, because she wasn't gonna believe us when we say we don't follow her.

[Jeff]

I've gotten emails, people. For whatever reason, Melissa, everybody thinks it's

[Jen]

you, and I'm following my nails.

[Jeff]

I've got emails while it happens.

[Jen]

Are the lesbians in here following her

[Jeff]

nails the last time it happened? Well, hello, I was on Facebook, but wasn't paying attention. And like 30 minutes later, I clicked over to the Facebook screen and there were like, six instant messages. And five of them were, please tell Melissa to stop filing her nails.

[Caller Brandy]

We can't hear it.

[Jen]

Are you serious? Well, you know what? I do believe in a well managed, cured hand.

[Jeff]

So the vert show.

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[Katie]

Hey, it's Cole Swindell. And when I spend 200 days a year rolling down the highway, the bus can start to feel smaller than a guitar case. Everyone Wonders how I stay chill while the hours crawl by. Truth is one good luck spent on Chumba and suddenly the trip the is a whole lot shorter. Finding your space even when there isn't much to spare. Need some chill? Let's Chumba.

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[Jeff]

So Melissa had a sad day yesterday, but as she always does, found some light.

[Jen]

Yeah, well, I mean, yesterday, the sad part of the story, tragic part of the story, is a dear friend of mine who is my oldest friend here in Atlanta, her sweet mama passed away last week. And so the funeral was yesterday. Now, the funeral took place while we were still here at the station. So I had to miss the funeral, but made the burial. And so Katie went to the funeral and we tag team and tag teamed it and I went to the burial. So when I left here, changed clothes, went and got the address for the, the, the cemetery. And so I got there. And when I got there, there was no, you know, crowd or procession of car. So either I was too late or too early. So I just parked, you know, over to the side near the office and I thought, well, let me ask somebody and see if this has already taken place. Well, there were four. Usually at a cemetery, if you have never been to a service, to prepare for the service, they usually have a tent over the grave site because, you know, for shading, either for the sun or the rain, whatever. But at least it gives you an idea that they were about to have a service or just had one. Well, there were four tents up at different sites at the cemetery, so I didn't know which one, you know, but I'm like, at least four events are taking place today, right?

[Jeff]

And they're not marked. Like there's not.

[Jen]

Like that's what they need to start doing is putting the last name somewhere draped down the tent or something to let people know. But usually it's just the funeral, you know, name on the tent but yeah, so four tents were up, so I didn't know which one to go to. Right. So I thought, well, I asked somebody. Well, there was one, one site where they looked like there's a little activity. Some of the service, you know, some of the guys that work at the cemetery were kind of preparing it. And there were three Navy guys that were nearby. And I thought, well, I didn't know her mom was a, like in the Navy, you know, like a Navy vet.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jen]

So I thought, okay, well, let me go ask. So I went over to him and I said, you know, is this, is this the Gibson, you know, service? And they said, no, it's for Calhoun. And I said, okay, well, I need the Gibson. So I thought, well, I'll just, I'll just see what, I'll just see. I'll just see what happens. So as I'm walking back to my car, then on the street, I see the procession come into the cemetery. So I thought, well, this must be them. The timing must be perfect. So I got in the car and I sat there now with, you know, and if you're not familiar, a lot of times the hearse will go, then the family car is after. And the family car is usually nice and the windows are tinted so you can't really see into the family. You can't see whose family it is. Yes. And my friend's the dog, so. And I thought, well, I needed to see in that. So I sat in the car and as the hearse went by, and I was gonna wait till at the end of the procession. And then when the family car went by, I thought, just in case it is them, I smiled in case she saw me. But if it wasn't them, they're thinking, who's this crazy girl that's just smiling at the family car sitting in the cemetery?

[Jeff]

Smiling at the processions, sitting in the cemetery.

[Melissa]

Happy day.

[Katie]

Hey.

[Jen]

So they're going. So they're going by. So I get in the back of the procession. Now, if you've never been to a cemetery, it was a nice large cemetery, but there's small roads that lead around it. And those roads are not two way roads, they're just one way roads. So I get in the back of the procession.

[Jeff]

So once you're in, you're in.

[Jen]

Once you're in, you're in. So I'm in the procession and we go around, and we're going around, we pass the other one tent, we pass the second tent, we pass the third tent, and the guy had swung us all the way Back around to that original tent where I'd asked the Navy guys, the Calhoun family, the Calhoun tent. So I'm in the procession and I'm at this grave sign at the end

[Melissa]

of it at the wrong funeral.

[Jen]

And I thought. And I called Katie and I said, I said, I said, I think I'm about to go to the wrong service. And I said, but what do you do in this situation? Well, I can't just because they had blocked the road once they park, they parked and they blocked the road. And I thought, well, I'm just going to have to go pay my respects to Mr. And Ms. Calhoun. So you didn't start walking toward the side? And I just got out of the car and I just stood there and I just kind of slowly walked my way over toward it. And then on top of everything, I mean, it was. I was the only white. It was a predominantly African American because my friend's African American. So this was African American. I thought, well, maybe, maybe, but I'm the only white girl there. So I thought, well, I'm gonna stand out if I. If this is the wrong one. And so I just started walking with people looking at me like. And again, I didn't go to the funeral. So even if it's the right one, people have not seen me yet. And so people start looking at me. I thought, what do I. Okay, fine, you know what? Just act like you, you know, so it's very respectful way to the end. So I have to say the ending.

[Jeff]

Stay through the whole service.

[Jen]

I have to say in the ending, when the family got out of the car, thank God my friend walked out of the car. And the Navy guys had gotten it wrong.

[Caller Brandy]

And the Navy.

[Jen]

Once the Navy guys saw that it was their wrong, it wasn't Calhoun, it was Gibson. They went on to wherever they needed to go.

[Melissa]

So they were at the wrong one.

[Jen]

But for 10 minutes I thought, how am I gonna pull off paying my respects to somebody I don't even know?

[Jeff]

Did you think for a few minutes about putting the car in reverse and backing up the whole way? You can't down the road, you can't.

[Melissa]

You can't shoot a three point turn over somebody's grave.

[Jen]

No, I mean, if you learn any lesson in life, what Jen just said is the lesson. But yeah. So everything worked out yesterday. But I just thought, I've got to tell. Only I would get in a situation which I had to, you know, play like I knew the family.

[Jeff]

What did you learn from the bird show today? Not to spin your tires on the grave of another.

[Jen]

And if you get stuck in the wrong procession, Just go with it.

[Melissa]

Go with it. Just go with it.

[Jen]

Yes. Say your prayers exactly. And just say, I'm just a friend of the family.

[Jeff]

Totally unrelated. Well, I love that we'll get to not unrelated, but, you know, as long as we're talking funerals.

[Jen]

Right.

[Jeff]

Is it just me, or do the pseudo motorcycle cops who block traffic seem to have an attitude like, what do you mean? Well, I live near a cemetery, so I get stuck behind that probably more often than other people maybe do.

[Melissa]

Like on Saturdays where they all have the thing hanging down from the rear view mirror.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it's his funeral.

[Melissa]

It says funeral. It's like the bright, long newspaper.

[Jeff]

And there's a couple of motorcycle cops who kind of lead the way. And I think they clear traffic lights for them so they can go right through lights and stuff. And I know the guy who work for the cemetery that's near my house. Like, they are so Paul Blart, mall Cop. I mean, they whip those bikes around, they whip those cars around or the motorcycles around, and they stop traffic like their hand is up, you know, rock solid. And they're just sitting there, and they're like, that's right. I am stopping all this traffic.

[Jen]

Which is worse, the mall cop motorcycle guys who are doing that or the people who get in the procession that have. No. That aren't in the funeral, they're just trying to get through the light.

[Melissa]

They're, like, weaving around, like, put on their blanket.

[Jen]

They're trying to get behind them. Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

Turn my headlights on. So they think. Then you get to the cemetery and

[Jen]

they turn the emergency lights on.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And then they keep going.

[Jeff]

Sorry, different funeral. So run service.

[Jen]

I'm looking for Calhoun.

[Jeff]

That must be Melissa.

[Jen]

What if those Navy guys that started, like, they had a bugle with them. What if they started playing the bugle at the wrong one? Yeah.

[Melissa]

Oh, embarrassing.

[Jen]

So anyway, funeral.

[Melissa]

I don't know. Funeral comes.

[Jeff]

Hey, Kimberly.

[Jen]

I wasn't trying to make it.

[Caller Marlene]

Hey, how are you?

[Jeff]

Good, how are you?

[Caller Marlene]

Oh, my God.

[Caller Brandy]

I have a. It's horrible. But it's a funny funeral story.

[Jen]

Funny funeral story.

[Caller Brandy]

A couple of years ago, my great aunt passed away, and we're going to Rome, Georgia. We don't know where we are. The funeral is forever. Everybody wants to sing a song. Everybody wants to say something. It's in the hot summer. We're all just blustering with heat. We're like, we're hungry. We've got to get some food. The Funeral lasted, no joke, three hours. So a few of the family members are like, okay, listen, let's just run down the road. We saw our checkers. Let's just go get something to eat. Oh, my God. We realized the body is passing us by. We don't know where we're going. We have to jump out of this. The. We have to jump out of the drive through line and go behind in the procession line because we didn't know where we were going. We're out of town. We don't know where the burial site is or anything. And we just felt so bad. But I mean, I understand, I do, I understand.

[Jen]

What would have been worse is that if you had gone in the checkers line and half the procession followed you through the procession.

[Jeff]

That actually happened to me in high school. We were in the funeral procession line and it was a parent of one of the kids I went to school with who passed away unexpectedly. So it was everybody's first funeral. And we all went early in the morning and four of us were in one car. And the guy driving, he's like, dude, I gotta get something to eat. I didn't have breakfast, I overslept, blah, blah, blah. He goes, I'm just gonna swing in. And I mean, this is. Cause it was a young guy. Like, I think the younger the person is sometimes the longer the funeral procession is. So there's like hundred cars in the procession. He's halfway through and he says, I swear I'm gonna swing through McDonald's. We'll get us all food, we'll eat it on our way to the service or the cemetery.

[Melissa]

We'll get back in line at the end of these cars.

[Jeff]

Yes. So he turns off the road to go to down the road where the McDonald's is. The entire procession follows down.

[Jen]

Did he had to turn around? Did he go to McDonald's?

[Jeff]

Yes, the entire procession. And he didn't realize until he made the turn into McDonald's and like the cars behind him.

[Jen]

Just because you're just following the person in front of you.

[Jeff]

Yep.

[Jen]

Wow.

[Jeff]

I said, you can. I actually somebody in the car said, I don't think you can get off the route if you have the little flag on the front of your car. They had a little magnet that said funeral on the front of the car. He's like, I don't think you can get off the route. I don't think that's legal. He's like, nah, it's fine. Turns out from the whole procession follows him all, dude, hey, Ashley, welcome to the Show.

[Caller Marlene]

Hello.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jen. I don't think we're gonna get to your 911 audio because there are so many funny funeral stories.

[Melissa]

Good. These are good.

[Jeff]

Hey, what's going on? Ashley?

[Caller Brandy]

Hey, good morning. Good morning. I love your show.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Caller Brandy]

Anyways, when I was 17, I had just gotten my license up in New York, and I was at college, and I had never, ever seen or heard of them stopping traffic. You know, everybody goes through. So I'm at the red light, pulling out of my school, and I seen a cop go by, and then all, like. It must have been 100 people with their lights on. My light turns green, and I'm honking and honking. I'm, like, going through this red light. So I'm just. I have a green light, and I'm, like, in the middle of the intersection honking and wailing my horn at all these people.

[Jen]

Oh, no.

[Caller Brandy]

Completely clueless to it. And then I guess when I finally got. Got through, emerged into them. And then I pull up to the next light, and the cop is screaming at me, and I'm yelling at him,

[Caller Marlene]

like, can you believe this?

[Caller Brandy]

I can't believe these people just walked into this red light going crazy.

[Mike's Ex-Girlfriend (voicemail)]

Adam.

[Caller Brandy]

And he wasn't happy with me. I didn't get a ticket, but.

[Caller Steve 2]

Oops.

[Jeff]

Did he explain to you that you were in error, or did you figure it out later?

[Caller Brandy]

I figured it out after I called my friend. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Hey, Becky.

[Caller Marlene]

Hey.

[Jeff]

Becky's gonna teach us a lesson.

[Caller Marlene]

How are you guys doing?

[Jen]

Good.

[Jeff]

Becky's got a lesson about not messing with the funeral cops.

[Caller Marlene]

Well, it's actually almost the same story. I wanted to make sure you knew the proper etiquette, that if you are behind a funeral procession, what you're supposed to do.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Caller Marlene]

I was the last person in line, and I thought because they had left enough room for me to actually pull around the police officer. Officer. Even though, yes, I had to go a little bit on the gravel. But I was like, okay, whatever. Yeah, you're supposed to stop and flash your lights at them to let them know that you're the last person.

[Jen]

Oh, really? So he just. So he just kept letting people through because he didn't know.

[Caller Marlene]

No, I mean, I guess I was just the last person. And I sat there for a while, and I was like, okay. You know, thinking that they would just be like, all right, come on, come on. Oh, no. So I was just like, all right, well, I don't to want to hold anybody else up.

[Caller Brandy]

So I just went around them.

[Caller Marlene]

Sure enough, they followed me and pulled

[Caller Steve]

me over the funeral.

[Jeff]

You got pulled over by a funeral cop?

[Caller Brandy]

I did.

[Caller Marlene]

And the worst thing is I'm actually married to a police officer, so they knew who I was.

[Jeff]

Ah, that's fun.

[Jen]

Embarrassing.

[Caller Brandy]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And I can't imagine. I can't imagine they give you real tickets. I imagine it's just like something handwritten on a post. It.

[Caller Brandy]

Yeah.

[Caller Marlene]

No, but my husband was like, are you kidding me? I'm like, what? That was not in the rule book when I studied for my.

[Jeff]

Thanks for the call, Becky.

[Caller Marlene]

Bye.

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