Full Show PT 1: Friday, November 7 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show Part 1: Friday, November 7 [Vault]

Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen Hobby, Melissa Carter, Jeff, Jamie Massey, Father Ricardo Bailey aka Father Crunk)
Air Date: November 7, 2025
Summary Prepared By: Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

This lively Friday morning show brings authentic conversation, laughs, and drama. The first hour is packed with frank talk about tricky friendships, beauty hacks (from listeners and the hosts), a cautionary dating tale, and a hilarious segment from Father Crunk (Father Ricardo Bailey) that ties celebrity antics to real-life lessons. The Bert Show crew and their callers let it all hang out, offering a unique blend of humor, relatability, and real talk.

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1. Sticky Friendships & Infidelity Secrets

[01:02–11:15]

The Dilemma

Caller "Nicole" (voice disguised) shares her struggle with a relatively new friend who’s cheating on her husband with multiple men, and Nicole’s discomfort with being pulled into the secrecy. The hosts explore the ethics and complications of friend loyalty, secrets between couples, and the differences in male and female friendships.

Key Discussion Points

• Nicole’s Predicament:

  • Nicole is new in town, has few friends, and feels stuck because her friend’s husband is befriending Nicole’s husband.
  • The friend sneaks out at night to cheat, and Nicole is uncomfortable keeping this secret, especially as their husbands become friends.

• Reactions from Hosts:

  • Bert: “Is this a friendship out of desperation?” [01:31]
  • Melissa Carter: “Does your husband know what she’s doing?” [05:54]
  • Jeff: “If it was a guy doing something I didn't agree with, I'd just stop calling. Why is this so hard for women?” [04:31]
  • Jen Hobby: “Women’s relationships are what their life is about… that’s her priority.” [05:23]

• Keeping Secrets in Couples:

  • Hosts agree it’s risky to tell someone in a couple a secret you want kept from the other.
  • Jeff: “Don’t tell me a secret you don’t want Jessica to know, because… when I say I won’t tell anyone else, I mean except Jessica.” [06:11]
  • Jen: “Never ask someone in a couple to keep it from the other partner unless it’s about that partner.” [06:44]

Advice and Resolutions

• Most hosts and callers agree Nicole should end the friendship:
  • Bert: “Get out of the friendship. You don’t respect her… there’s too much to lose here.” [10:02]
  • Jen Hobby: “The only way you’d be so torn is if this was a longtime friend. If it’s just through work, and your husband is getting involved — not worth it.” [10:27]
  • Melissa: “Tell your husband, then get out.” [10:52]

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2. Beauty Hacks & Listener Tips

[15:38–28:45]

With the “guys on vacation,” the women take over for a “beauty bag” segment — sharing unconventional beauty/health hacks. Listeners call in with their own wild, tried-and-true tricks.

Host and Listener Beauty Tips

• Jamie Massey: “I just never, ever blow dry my hair…makes it dry and crunchy. Use Redken Straightening Balm instead.” [16:33–17:26]
• Melissa Carter: “Put baby powder on your brush and brush your hair to remove grease, make straight styles last longer.” [18:11]
• Jen Hobby: “Anyone got tips for puffy eyes after crying at work?” [19:06]

Favorite Caller Tips

• Clay Mask:
  • Erin: “Laroset clay mask from Sweden — makes your skin smooth and bright. Use every other day.” [19:59–20:21]
• Visine for Pimples:
  • Allison: “Visine takes redness out of pimples, not just eyes.” [20:44–21:01]
• Buff Puffs & Betadine:
  • Lisa: “Use buff puffs and Betadine for dry skin; rinse with unscented Dove.” [21:10]
  • Bonus: “My stepmom shaves her face to prevent wrinkles… dermatologist says it’s fine.” [22:01]
• Toothpaste for Pimples:
  • Jessica: “Put toothpaste on a red zit overnight – reduces size and redness.” [22:48–22:58]
• Coke for Hair Buildup:
  • Ruth: “Pour 2 liters of Coke over hair to strip out residue; works wonders for heavy, curly hair.” [23:48]
• Preparation H for Puffy Eyes:
  • Joanne: “Put Preparation H under eyes after crying to reduce puffiness.” [24:42]
• Burt’s Bees for Lips:
  • Melissa: “Lather on lip balm before bed to cure dry lips overnight.” [26:16]
• Band-Aid for Pimples:
  • Allison: “Sticky end of a Band-Aid over zit overnight shrinks redness and size.” [27:03]
• Frozen Spoons & DIY Scrubs:
  • Christine: “Frozen spoons for eye-puffiness.”
  • Katie & Leigh Ann: “Olive oil and salt for DIY body scrub; mayo/veg oil as hair conditioner.” [27:42–28:03]
• Bonus Tip:
  • Melissa: “Best place to tweeze stray eyebrows? The car mirror – best lighting!” [28:03]

Memorable Quotes

• Bert: “Just thinking about how sexy the women of America are going to look going to bed tonight… after pouring out 2 liters of Coke on their hands, toothpaste on their zits, Visine on their zits, spoon on their eyes, mayonnaise in their hair, Preparation H on their eyes…” [28:44]

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3. The Coffee Shop Dating Debacle

[29:03–37:45]

Jamie Massey’s Story: A classic meet-cute at a coffee shop leads to emails and a playful attempt to meet again, culminating in a coffee date and dinner. The twist: Jamie jokingly asks, “You’re not married, are you?” and he admits he is.

Highlights

• The Lead-up:
  • Jamie: “He was cute, successful… total chemistry. And I’m thinking, this is perfect.” [33:17]
• The Bombshell:
  • Jamie: “So I said, ‘Haha, you’re not married, are you?’ He goes, ‘How’d you know to ask that?’” [34:14]
  • “I was absolutely humiliated.” [35:23]
• Group Reaction/Support:
  • Melissa: “That is so disappointing. That is so awful.” [37:02]
  • Jen: “There’s no reason for you to be humiliated. He should be.” [35:54]

Callers Who’ve Been There

• Colleen: “I dated a guy for a month before I figured it out.” [38:58]

• Maggie: “Guy wasn’t wearing a ring; told me his wife was coming to the bar after chatting me up.” [39:51–40:47]

• Jessica: “Lived with a guy eight and a half months before the wife showed up at our apartment.” [41:26–42:27]

• Michelle: “Five years! He proposed, we got rings, and I only found out when I investigated for class.” [42:48]

  • "I sat outside his house, called and told him he needed to mow the grass. Sat there till his wife came home!" [43:38]
  • “One time he called 42 times in one day.” [44:05]

• Takeaway: Many women share stories of discovering after months/years that their partner was married. Jamie feels “entertained” by how her dating life keeps getting worse, but the show reaffirms: the embarrassment belongs to the cheater, not to the unwitting partner.

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4. Father Crunk’s Hollywood Life Lesson: Naomi Campbell & Bullies

[47:03–60:13]

Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk):
Delivers his signature blend of pop culture, Bible references, and practical advice — using Naomi Campbell’s notorious outbursts (including attacking staff with phones) as a launching pad for a lesson about bullies and standing up to them.

Segment Structure

• Recap of Naomi Campbell's History:

  • “Problem with cell phones, BlackBerries, and people who get on her nerves.” [48:47]
  • “She needs a mentor… how can you throw a phone? I guess if you have as much money as she has, you’re good to go.” [49:03]

• Moral & Biblical Comparison:

  • Compares to Herodias and Salome (“used her daughter’s dance to get the head of John the Baptist”) [51:15]
  • “You don’t have to be too buffed out… just have to say, enough is enough and too much is too much.” [51:15]

• Classic Father Crunk Humor:

  • “If Naomi Campbell threw a shoe, cell phone, or BlackBerry at me, it would be her last time because I am from the south side…” [51:03]
  • “Big Mama from the south would set her straight!” [51:15]
  • Sings a Beyoncé rewrite: “When you move, I move. Just like that…” [51:15]

• Listener Calls:

  • Angela: “Can I just say AMEN?” [57:23]
  • Davina: “I will take that job with Naomi and wish she would throw a phone at me!” [59:25]

Notable Quotes

• Father Crunk: “Naomi, get some help, baby!” [56:59]
• Father Crunk on bullies: “You best to leave me alone.” [51:15]

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5. Differences in Male/Female Friendships

[11:13–13:56]

• Hosts discuss: Men’s friendships often require less frequent contact, women’s are more involved and regular.
• Melissa: “If a girlfriend goes away, our life has changed forever.” [13:24]
• Bert: “Now if they called me more than every two or three months, it’d be weird… it would just be annoying.” [13:16]
• Jeff: “We can pick up where we left off. Women need more consistency.” [13:51]

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Notable Moments & Quotes

• “Get out of the friendship. You’re only in it because of desperation… you don’t respect her.”
  – Bert, on Nicole’s friend [10:02]
• “Preparation H under the eyes after crying — modeling tip!”
  – Caller Joanne [24:42]
• “Lose your hair. Very low maintenance.”
  – Bert, on men’s beauty tips [19:00]
• “I was absolutely humiliated.”
  – Jamie Massey, after learning her date was married [35:23]
• “When you move, I move. Just like that.”
  – Father Crunk, inspired by Ludacris [51:15]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Sticky Friendships & Infidelity Secrets: 01:02–11:15
• Male/Female Friendship Differences: 11:13–13:56
• Beauty Bag / Listener Tips: 15:38–28:45
• Coffee Shop Dating Debacle (Jamie Massey): 29:03–37:45
• Father Crunk on Naomi Campbell & Bullies: 47:03–60:13

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Tone and Style

The Bert Show features energetic, conversational banter, but the hosts deftly handle difficult topics with a mix of empathy, honesty, and humor. Advice is direct but compassionate, and listeners are drawn into an inclusive, supportive environment — even on the wildest calls.

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Recap

This episode typifies The Bert Show’s magic: unpredictable, real-life drama; relatable struggles in friendship and dating; unfiltered laughter; crowdsourced beauty wisdom; and a spiritual yet sassy anchor in Father Crunk. It’s a blend of therapy, group chat, and morning pick-me-up that leaves listeners entertained and feeling a little less alone in the crazy moments of life.

Transcript

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[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

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[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Two.

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[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Three.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

No big contracts.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

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[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

I use it.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

Five, my mom uses it.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Are you.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

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[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

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[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

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[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

See mintmobile.com.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

The Birch Show Good morning, Nicole. Not her real name. How are you this morning?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm fine. How are you?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Good. You're on the voice disguiser. All right, so you're in one of these sticky relationships. This is friend related, though. And you're looking at your friend and you're like, man, she is not what I thought she was.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly. I haven't lived in the area very long, so I don't have that many friends. And so I would hate to lose her as a friend, but it's just getting way too complicated.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

So right off the bat, it's a friendship out of desperation?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Yes.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

All right. What is she doing that is turning you off so much?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, she's married, she has a small child. She's not being faithful. And it's not just with one man. She's not being. I mean, not just one man. It's like three. And she will leave in the middle of the night once her child's gone to sleep and go off and hook up with one of these guys.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Leave her child alone at the house?

[Caller/Guest]

No, with her. She'll leave it with her husband while her husband and her child are sleeping.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Where does she tell her husband she's going? Or does she just sneak out like a. Like Jen Hobby in high school, she sneaks out.

[Caller/Guest]

She says that her husband doesn't know she's sneaking out, but I Couldn't imagine him not knowing that she's sneaking out.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

This is a pure case of a guy knowing what's going on and chooses not to look at it because there's. There's no way Jessica.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Jessica could sneak out on me and I wouldn't know.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

No way.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

I mean, I lie down at the end of the night, and, like, she's up later than me every night, and she's upstairs working. Like, if it happened every night, I can't. I don't. I don't wake up in the middle of the night, look for her.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Not a chance.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Is Jessica your friend?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. I mean, she's fine.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Now. He's talking about his Jessica.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah. But y' all don't have kids, so it's not her.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

As soon as. If my wife was leaving, if she would get out of bed, I would feel the bed move and I would get up. There's just. He's. I'm assuming, choosing not to know, but I guess that's not even the point.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

How do you know this friend? Do you. Did you meet her through work or.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I met her through work. And not. I mean, I'm trying not to give too much away because, you know, I just don't want her to know that I'm talking about her. But, yeah, I guess you could say it was through work.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

So even when. If you decide to intervene either in her relationship or give her some, like, really, like, tough advice, or whether you ditch her, you're still gonna have to see her. That's sort of what I was getting at.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I would still have to see her.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

This is what sucks also, when you're screwing around like this. When you bring your friends into the mix also and you tell them what's going on, it just screws up everything on so many different levels.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, her husband and my husband are starting to become friends.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Oh, no.

[Caller/Guest]

And so, you know, we've gone to dinner, and, you know, he'll make comments to my husband, and she's sitting there kicking me under the table. So it's so.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

It's like your own inside joke. And she's. She's very superficial about it. And it's really, really bothering you?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah. And, you know, I don't, you know, and I don't want my husband to think, you know, badly of me. You know what I'm saying? Because she's my friend. I don't want people to think that I'm associate, you know, that I'm doing anything like that.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Right, right.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Or you can donate.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And you know what is. And this is probably too broad of a subject for this, but I have noticed a trend, like with. With women, because I think guys, if. Or you. Let's say you have a guy friend, let's say Dolvett starts doing something that bugs you. You know what I mean? Like in it to the point where it's, like, offensively bugging you. Like, you just kind of end the friendship, and that's it, and so be it.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

There's no talk. There's no weenie. It's just like, I just stop calling. Right.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Do women have a difficult time ending friendships?

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yes.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Like, I know multiple women who are dealing, who are in friendships and talk openly about how they don't like the person that they're friends with, but there's nothing they can do about it. I think women, for whatever reason, I'm like, well, there is something you can do about it. You end the friendship, and they're like, ah, it's more complicated than that. No mutual people, blah, blah, just end it.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Well, there. Women, relationships, it doesn't even have to be a relationship with a guy. Women's relationships is what their life is about. So it's either their friendships or their relationship with their partner, their relationship with their children or with their parents. And that's just what permeates a woman's mind and her heart, and that's what is her priority. And so I do think that it is complicated for her just to break off a friendship.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Nicole, what are you looking for? Just a little advice on exactly what to do.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

404-741-1005. Maybe you've been in this situation before.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I have a quick question for you. Does your husband know what she's doing?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

So you're keeping this secret from your husband as well, right?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Yeah. This is bad all the way around. You got to tell him, especially now that your husband is getting tight with the guy.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Yeah, but then the husband might feel obligated to tell the guy what's going on.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Like, I think you have to go into. If you are friends with a married couple, I think you have to go into that knowing that if you confide into something with the spouse that's true, then the other one is going to know. Like, you don't tell anymore.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Like, don't.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Don't tell me a secret you don't want Jessica to know. Because when I say to you, oh, God, of course I won't tell anyone else. I mean, anyone else except for Jessica.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Yep.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Makes sense.

[Caller/Guest]

So I think really, like, I.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

There are things that I still even won't tell Stacy. I will keep secrets from her. If someone tells me straight up, this is between you and I, then it's between you and I. I. I would.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Never ask someone who's in a couple to keep it from the other partner unless it was about that partner. Like, unless it was something superficial that they didn't need to know. It would still be difficult for me to tell Jen some. Something that I don't want Ryan to know. Like, even if it's a gift I got for Ryan or whatever, it would be hard for me to say Jen, okay, don't tell Ryan. I just know better than to. To do that, because I do. I agree with Jeff. I think it's a. It's a package deal.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

You have to be specific. If you want that secret kept from the spouse, you have to specifically detail that out.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And you have to be careful because why would you. Like, the only thing that I would tell Jen something not to tell Ryan or tell you something not to tell Stacy is if it was about Ryan or Stacy, and that would almost compel you more to tell them. Like, if I said, look, don't tell Ryan I told you this, but he's about to get kicked out of Sister Hazel. Like, what's the first thing you're gonna do?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Well, then, of course, you know what I mean.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Like, it's a tough.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

And the only gift scenario I gave is because I may need Jen's help in order to do something for Ryan or, you know, for you guys. But that's the only time I can think that I would divide a couple.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Hey, don't tell Ryan, but I'm gonna get him tickets to this concert.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, so make sure he doesn't get them.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Yeah, I feel differently about that. Nicole, hold on one sec. We're gonna get you some quick here.

[Caller/Guest]

All right?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

I think in this case, because it's all four of them, it's couple related, I would have to tell Stacy the reason why I don't want to hang out with that group anymore. And then I just wouldn't see them again because they are the reason we both, as a couple, would not be able to see them. I would have to share that secret. But in most cases, like if Jen, if you told me something and you said, look, I'm having pro. I'm having a problem in this area, I just wish you'd keep it between you and I, I wouldn't. I would not tell Stacy. That is just between you and I.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

See, I think it would be up to me to specifically tell you not to tell Stacy, because I would just assume anything I told you, she would know, too. I just assume that.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Really?

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And even if you say that, I don't believe you.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Right.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Even if you say because of the marriage thing, like, I. Like, I don't believe that in a ca. Like, if you say, okay, I won't tell. I don't know what it could be like, Bert, I need help. I got $50,000 on my amex and I don't have any money to pay it off. And I don't know what to do. And I don't know how to talk to Jessica. Don't tell Stacy. Right. Like, that's what I say to you.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And you go, okay.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

But then, like, I don't tell Stacy. Right.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

But two weeks later, a conversation comes up where, you know, you're talking about debt or something like that. Go, look, I wasn't supposed to say anything, but.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

No, you could believe it or not, but I wouldn't tell Stacy.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

I got $50,000 in debt and I need to borrow 50 grand from you.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Hold on a second. I gotta call Stacy.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Unless you have to borrow money from Bert, at which point he needs to call Stacy to get the pin number to the bank account.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Hey, Amber. Good morning, Amber.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Turn down your radio.

[Caller/Guest]

Turn it up.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Down.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Sideways.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

We only got a second. Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. No. I was stuck in the same situation where a friend kind of put me in the middle of the. Her cheating. We actually had another mutual friend that told her husband. He chose not to believe it. We all treated her different because the fact is that she stuck us all in the middle. And I had nothing to do with her after that because she just disgusted me so much. I mean, to me, that's just something you don't do in a marriage.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Yeah. This is one that we don't have to spend a lot of time on here, Nicole, because I can't find anybody that doesn't have the opinion that isn't. This is really much more simple than you're making it out to be, and that's get out of the friendship. If you don't agree with it. You're only in it because of desperation. Anyway, you don't respect her. There's too much to lose here, so get out. And everybody is saying the same thing.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay?

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

I think the only way in. The only case in which you would be torn as much as you seem to be is if it was a childhood friend or A long term friend, and you don't want to let that go. But if this is somebody you met through work and, like, you know, I mean, it's. It's really. And then if your husband is becoming friends and then he may associate you with that and it ruins your relationship, it is not worth that.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

And if he finds out you knew all along.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Oh, yeah. Just get out.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Tell your.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Tell your husband, then get out.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, right.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Nicole, I would spend more time on this if there was anything controversial about it, but everybody's calling up saying the exact same thing.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, I really.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

I really would because I'm fascinated by the whole. The difference between guys and girls and stuff. Like, why. What is it that prevents you, if there's someone you don't like, from ending that friendship?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I don't know. It just. It depends on every situation. I think, like, she's probably concerned she's still gonna have to see her at work. So it's something where, if it ends badly, you don't have to see them at work every single day because that would be uncomfortable. Or if you're tied in through other friends, you don't want to make your other friends choose whether to pick you or to pick that other girl. I think it's just depends on that friend and how you're connected to them.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

How many calls would you have to make to one of your friends before he stops calling you back?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

It depends how many times we've gone out. Like you said, if it was Dolvette and we have this history of years of friendship together. If I call him four or five, six times, and he doesn't call me back, I guess after about, like, the sixth or seventh time, I'd go, okay, something's up. Yeah, but if it was somebody that I hadn't known that long.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

But like, with Dolvett, you could say you leave him a voicemail going, hey, we.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

You know, what's up?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

We're good.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And you're not calling me back. Is everything cool? And then when he doesn't call you back, you gotta figure, all right, it's over. Right?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Like, girls can consider how girls have friendships and how you have friendships. Like, tell me, how many friends does Jessica talk to on a weekly basis?

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Well, she has her, like, best, best friend. California.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Yep.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And then she's got her best, best best friend and then her best friend. No, I mean, I don't know, like.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Probably four or five women in her life that she talks to regularly. Like, they know what's going on in your relationship. What happened with Sasha? What new tricks she learned? What Gugu did yesterday. I mean, like, five of them now answer the same questions for you.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

I don't have any friends.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I mean, men and women are just different about their friendships. I mean, you know, I mean, my husband has some great friends, but one of his, like, best friends, who he considers his best friend, he talks to, like, once every three, four months.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Oh, yeah, that's plenty.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

They touch base. You know, they call maybe on birthdays or if they're coming through town or whatever, and that's it. And that's like, his best friend from growing up or whatever. And if you ask my husband, who's your best friends, that guy's on the list. And I'm like, you don't ever talk to him.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Women would worry if that much time had gone without talking to one of our friends.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Now, if they called me, like, more than that, more than every two or three months, it'd be weird. It would just be annoying.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

So that's the difference. I mean, there's already distance between you.

[Jamie Massey]

Guys and your friends.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

If they go away, it's like your life doesn't change that much. For us, if a girlfriend goes away, our life has changed forever.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Jessica actually got mad at me when. How long ago was it when Checkaway moved up to Philadelphia? He was up there for six months. We spoke once. He's still up there. We haven't spoke since. He's gone back. He came back for a weekend during that thing. Jessica. We were all sitting around. Jessica brought. Hey, how many times did you guys. We're like, once on the phone in six months. Then he comes back, and we're like.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Hey, pick up where you left off.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

Go get some beers, whatever.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Yeah, it's good being a guy. Y' all are too complicated.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

No kidding, man.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

The Birch Show.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Flu season is here, and our pharmacies have you covered with a free flu shot with most insurance plans. Plus, it's cough and cold season. And now through December 2nd. Stock up on all the season's essentials and get ready for relief with discounts on items like Mucinex Cold and Flu, Kickstart, Mucinex, Fast Max Products, Vicks Dayquil and nyquil Combo Pack. Alka Seltzer plus also Airborne and afrin offers end December 2nd. Restrictions apply, and offers may vary by location. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

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[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

Us hey, Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I don't know if you've heard, but Mint's Premium Wireless is $15 a month. But I'd like to offer one other perk. We have no stores. That means no small talk. Crazy weather we're having. No, it's not. It's just weather. It is an intro dream. Give it a [e-mail] switch upfront payment.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Of 45 for 3 month plan 15 per month equivalent required new customer offer.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

First 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

See mintmobile.com.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

All right, with the guys on vacation, we thought we would have some fun here. So we're going to call it kind of the beauty bag because this is something that we have talked about dipping into the beauty bag on the show before. And the guys, Bert and Jeff, look at me when I bring up this idea and roll their eyes and they're like, oh, do we really have to sit through this? Or whatever. They just aren't into it. So I'm like, okay, they're out. We need to do this and we want to know your best kept beauty secrets or like tips and tricks that you use for beauty that maybe people wouldn't think of. Even bizarre stuff, even like weird stuff, stuff your mom told you about. Something like old school or maybe it's like a product you can't live without or something like that. Or we're just going to compile a whole list and then later on we'll post them online so everybody can sort of share their beauty secrets. I have a couple that I can share, but Jamie Massey, you said that you've got one to start off and add to the list.

[Jamie Massey]

Well, I know that it's probably not possible for most people, but I have unbelievably straight long brown hair and it's just really, really straight most of the time. And the one thing that I do or don't do is just to keep it from getting split ends and everything. When you have hair that's pretty long, split ends is kind of a problem.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Definitely an issue.

[Jamie Massey]

And I just never, ever blow dry my hair. Never? Never. I mean, maybe like once a month if I have to run out. But you guys, I mean, half the time I come in here with wet hair in the morning, but I just don't blow dry it. It makes it kind of crunchy and it makes it dry out. And I never blow dry it or flat iron it or anything like that. And I know that that's not a possibility for some people. If you. I've just recently gotten some layers and some highlights, and so I'm having a problem keeping the ends straight. So I use Redken Straightening Balm.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay.

[Jamie Massey]

That stuff, you kind of like, put.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

It in when it's wet?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah, put it in when it's wet. It's like there's a bunch of different ones. And I kind of compile three different Redken products and put them in my hands and do this and go through the hair and walk out the door.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Awesome.

[Jamie Massey]

Piece of cake.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

All right, I'm starting this list.

[Jamie Massey]

I'm what you call it, low maintenance.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

No blow dryer for Jamie Massey.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

All right.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I've got a hair one to add to the list. It's when you do have straight hair, you know, And I actually have naturally curly hair, but straighten it a lot. And it takes a long time with the blow dryer and the straightening iron or whatever. So I want it to last for a couple of days. Look at Phil Torana. So tuned out. But I want it to last for a couple of days. So I actually use baby powder, or they have stuff that's called hair powder.

[Jamie Massey]

And I put it on my brush.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Like, say it's already been straight for a day and I've gone to work and done my thing or whatever. The next morning you wake up, it's kind of getting greasy, like around the hairline, especially in the summertime because you're kind of sweaty or whatever. So you put baby powder on your brush and brush your hair with the baby powder, and it disappears in your hair, but it sucks up some of the grease. And then your hairdo lasts a little bit longer and also actually go like an extra day.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Ladies who have daughters like that, I learned that from Millie Pete. Because when I was a young girl and was sick, she would do that for me. Because if I was too sick to go wash my hair, didn't feel like it, or whatever, for me to even feel better or if I needed to actually see somebody or whatever, she would do that for me. Even when I was in elementary school, just so I didn't look as bad as I felt, but baby powder in the hair absorbs the oil.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Another good hair tip that I've been doing a lot. Just lose it.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Lose your hair.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Very low maintenance.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

We're gonna take some calls for some beauty tips. I have a request, though. Can I make a quick request?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Because one thing I want to know the trick to this and this. You know what? I'm gonna call myself out. And, ladies, we all do this. So believe it or not, even though Jen Hobby's the one that cries on the air all the time, Melissa Carter does have a heart. And there are tears that come from these ducks in my eyes. And usually, of course, it doesn't happen until I'm off the air. And the night before, if I get upset about something the night before, I have to come in here, and I don't. And, you know, it's anybody that has to go to work. But on this show, if you look like you got the puffy eyes and the guy's going, what's wrong?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Well, let's talk about it then. You got to talk about.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

I don't want to talk about it.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

And nobody wants to talk about being upset at the office.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Nobody wants to talk about it. So if anybody has any tips on how to keep your eyes from swelling after a cry, let me know about that. Okay.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Let's just go down the list. We'll just make this really quick. I'm gonna try to take notes so we can put all these up [e-mail] later on today.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

All right, Sounds good. Erin, we'll start with you. Hey, Erin.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

What is your tip for our birch?

[Caller/Guest]

I use this mask. It's a clay mask from, I think, Sweden called Laroset. L A R O S E T. You can Google it, and you just put it on your face, and then once it's done, it dries, you wash it off, and then your skin just feels so smooth. It looks bright and feels healthy.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

How often do you do the clay mask?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, you can do it every other day. It $25 a bottle, but.

[Jamie Massey]

Whoa.

[Caller/Guest]

Or two. But I love it.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

It's worth it.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Thank you. Thank you, Erin. And next call is Allison online, too. And she. I love these, like, I don't know, products that you use for something else that it's not made for.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Right.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Hey, Alison.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. I was calling in.

[Caller Michelle]

I forget where I read it a.

[Caller/Guest]

While ago, but if you ever get pimples and they're red, if you put just a little Visine on before you put anything else on. It won't take all the redness away, but it will reduce it immensely.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

So it takes the redness out of your pimple, not just your eyes, but your pimple.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly. Love that.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Awesome. Thank you, Alison.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

That's a great one.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

All right, Lisa on line three. Hey, Lisa.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. How are you?

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Good. What's your tip?

[Caller/Guest]

Two quick ones. One of them is I use buff puffs and Betadine.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

And a dermatologist told me to use it because I had dry skin and I sometimes would have breakouts, and it totally diminishes and kills any problems that I've ever had. And the next one's gonna sound odd.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

But wait a second. Wait a second.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Wait a second. What was that first one again?

[Caller/Guest]

Buff puff and Betadine.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Buff puffs and Betadine. And you just rub it on like you're washing your face with the buff puffs with the Betadine?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. And then I rinse it off with unscented Dove soap.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay. Now, is the Betadine the stuff that stains or has or is that. I think it's something else I'm thinking of.

[Caller/Guest]

I think it does stain. I think it has iodine or something in it because I've gotten it on towels and I can't get it off.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

And then the next really odd one is that my stepmom shaves, and it's totally diminished and killed any possibility of having wrinkles.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

She shaves her face?

[Caller/Guest]

Her face? Yep. And it's not because of any reason except for the fact that she doesn't want wrinkles. And if you look at men, you see that they don't usually have wrinkles and they shave.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Now, shaving the face doesn't cause, like, the peach fuzz to get coarser, does it?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I've asked her that, and she said she never has any problems.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Wow.

[Caller/Guest]

And the dermatologist said that she should never have any problems, and she's been doing it for years. And she's got flawlessly gorgeous skin.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Really? Wow.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay. No wrinkles at all.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Awesome.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

All right.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Thank you.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Thank you so much.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

We're going to go to. I'm sorry, Jen.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I was going to say 404-741-1005. If you have a tip or a beauty secret to add into our beauty bag.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

All right, line four, Jessica. She has another solution for pimples.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Hey.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey there. When you go to bed at night, if you have a really red pimple, you can put toothpaste on it and then just wash it off when you wake up in the morning. It reduces the size and the redness.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Fantastic. Toothpaste the night before and leave it on to dry.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Toothpaste on your pimples.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

I love this. Ruth, hey, Line five.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

How are you?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Good.

[Caller/Guest]

This is a hair secret. I have red, curly hair down almost to my butt. So I have a lot of hair. And I was having major issues. No matter how I washed my hair.

[Caller Michelle]

What kind of products I used, my.

[Caller/Guest]

Hair always felt heavy. Couldn't strip out enough out of it. And my hairstylist told me to go and get a 2 liter of coke, put a bucket in the sink, and basically douse my hair with soda. And then pour it in a container and just repeatedly do it three or four times. And then wash your hair normal. And the acid strips everything out of your hair. And when you wash and condition your hair, your hair is soft and silky.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Wow.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Thank you. Ruth, have you ever.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

That is unbelievable.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Can of Coke or you say a 2 liter of coke, you put it.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, well, it's easiest to have a big bottle of it. I put like a big salad bowl in the bathtub and on my hands and knees and just. I keep pouring it on my hair, and I just scoop it out and pour it and pour it and for it. And my hair 100% changed the very first time. I couldn't believe it. When you wash your hair, you know, and you use stripping agents, you wash and condition your hair, you put it right back on. So it's sort of pointless. So you spend all this money for nothing. When you can pay a dollar at the grocery store and get a 2 liter of soda and do the same thing.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

That's great.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I love that one. I.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

You know what? And there's the list of Coke, like, all the things that Coke can do.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Yes.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Fascinating. All right, well, line one. Joanne has a solution for me, because I had asked earlier, when you're crying and you want to get the puffiness out, what do you do? Hey, Joanne.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. Actually, a few years ago, I was told that to put Preparation H under your eyes after you've been crying. I mean, of course you do the normal, like warm washcloth and everything, but if it's still puffy after a while, put Preparation H on there.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Now, my question about the Preparation H. Have you actually done it?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, actually, when I was modeling, one of my coaches told me that preparation nature. Under the eyes, you can use your cucumber slices. St. Ives also makes a Preparation H gel. I'm sorry. I'm so excited to Talk to you guys. St. Ives makes a cucumber gel that you can also use, which works. And also for red zits that are on your skin, you can use bi zine on there to take the red out.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

We did hear that early on. That is an awesome one. My question about the. I'm sorry, I'm interested in this preparation age is when you put it on. Obviously, you have to be careful not to get it in your eye.

[Caller/Guest]

Right, Right.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

And then does it, like, can you put it on and then put makeup on and go to work, or do you have to put it on, let it sit there, and then wash it off?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I always did it the night before. Usually when I cry, it's at night, or I never cried right before I went to work. So I would just put it on before I went to bed, and in the morning, I'd be fine.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

And then you just wash it off in the morning and go. Okay.

[Jamie Massey]

Right.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I need to do the combination.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

I have to do the combination because my eye. It's not just beneath, but my eyelid swells, too.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Just. You just have to be careful not to get it in your eye, Melania.

[Jamie Massey]

Right.

[Caller/Guest]

Because then you won't be dangerous.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Exactly.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

What happens. I have another one which is before you go to sleep, which I've noticed. And this is good in the wintertime, especially when your lips get all dry and stuff. But I put on massive amounts of lip balm before going to sleep, and I just keep it in my nightstand. And so you can use whatever kind of, you know, chapstick or whatever else, but I just use one of those pots of, like, the Burt's Bees stuff or whatever, and just lather it on there. Like, put on, like, way more than you even think that you would ever need. And you go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning, they're all, like, soft and all the cracks have gone away or whatever. And then you don't have to have.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Cracky Lips, Burt's Bees, any of their products.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

So good. So good.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay. And one last call. I love this because everybody, I guess, is concerned about blemishes. So, Allison, line three.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Hi.

[Caller/Guest]

If you take the sticky end of a band aid and you stick it over your zit, it reduces the redness and the size of it, really.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Now, wait a second. You put the sticky end of the band aid on the pimple, and then you rip it off.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. In the morning, you sleep with it on, and you just, like, peel it off in the morning, and you just, like, cut the little Ends of it off. And it works. I don't know why. My friend told me about does, so.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

I love that one. That's awesome. Thank you so much, and thanks to everybody else. Sorry we didn't get to your calls. You know, one person, Christine, thinks that freezing spoons then putting them on my eyes will reduce swelling.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Sounds good.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

And then watch them stick to my eyes and I can't get them off.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Frozen spoons.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, exactly. And then Katie says, olive oil and salt makes a great body scrub. I know olive oil. My sister used to put olive oil in her bath when she would soak before she took a bath and said that. That's really good. And mayo and vegetable oil as a hair conditioner. Leigh Ann, thank you for that.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

And vegetable oil. I'm trying to write all these down. We're gonna get somebody type all these up and we'll post them online for you. I have one more, and this will be good. If you're going to work this morning, look how bored Phil is. I know, but if you tweeze your eyebrows and you get some of those random ones. You'll do it in the mirror at home, in the bathroom. And then you go to work and you're in a different mirror. You're like, how did I miss that one? Do it in your car. Not while you're driving. I certainly don't endorse that. But when you get in your car, bring your tweezers. And when you look in the car mirror, that is the best place to pluck your eyebrows, I'm telling you. Because it's the best lighting. You get all that natural light in there, you can see them a lot more. So when you gotta do your brows, bring the tweezers in the car.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

I'm just thinking about how sexy the.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

Women of America are gonna look.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Going to bed tonight after getting out of the shower. Emptying out 2.2liters of Coke on their hands. Putting toothpaste on their zits. Putting Visine on their zits with spoon on their eyes. Mayonnaise in their hair.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

Preparation age and preparation age on their eye.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Good God. The women of Atlanta are going to be sexy as hell tonight.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

The Bird Show.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

So on Friday, we talked to Jamie Massey about the coffee shop incident that happened, I guess, the week before or two weeks before.

[Jamie Massey]

Was it a week before? Yeah, it was two Sundays ago.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay.

[Jamie Massey]

I'm in line Sunday morning around 10 at the coffee shop by my house. And the line was really, really long. And I'm standing in line and this really attractive man comes and gets in line behind me. And it's kind of an older place, like there's a lot of older people. So I was surprised to see a young, good looking guy in the coffee shop. Well, we get the line was so long, it was about 10 minutes of just talking. We struck up a conversation and when I get up, I place my order. Their credit card machine was down. So he was very chivalrous and was like, let me take care of your coffee, I'll pay for it. I was like, oh no, no, I'll run to the atm. Well, he insisted he paid for my coffee. And so we talked a little bit after that and I said, I want to repay you. So he gave me his card with his number on it and his email address. So we corresponded a couple times during the week via email.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Via email.

[Jamie Massey]

I wasn't gonna call him, but via email. We corresponded a couple times during the week. And I was like, I want to repay you because he was cute. And so the correspondent ended up with, okay, I'm going to be in line at the coffee shop 10 o' clock Sunday morning. If you're the next person in line, I will buy you that cup of.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Coffee, which is so cute. And this is like exchange going back and forth, kind of playful, kind of.

[Jamie Massey]

Playful, non committal, but not, you know, playful in a undertone kind of way. Like it was not blunt flirting or, you know, it was just kind of like, hey, I'd love to repay. Like, hey, well I'd love to see you again kind of thing. And it was just kind of chemistry, you know.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay.

[Jamie Massey]

So of course I like couldn't sleep Saturday night. I was so nervous. But I also found out I had to work at the Braves game and I was supposed to be at Turner Field at 10:30. So this was going to be kind of cut short unfortunately. But so I get to the coffee shop around 9, you know, I get there early, kind of get a good seat on the couch, I've got the newspaper, I order a cup of coffee and I sit down. And every, of course, every person that walks by, I'm like looking up.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

You're like, every time the bell on the door jingles and somebody walks in, you're like, who's that?

[Jamie Massey]

So 9 o' clock comes, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45, 10 o' clock comes, no guy. And I have, oh, you're feeling like stood up. I have to leave, you know, and I've got like, I stuck it out as long as I could. I even called my boss down at Turner Field. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna be a little bit late. I've got some stuff going on. So I stayed till about 10:05 and I was like, I just, I have to go. So I get in my car and I start to drive out and there's a red light coming out of the parking lot. And I'm at the red light and he comes flying into the parking lot.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Like out of control driving?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah, like, kind of like he feels like he's late. So he sees me and I see him and he waves and so I like, you know, turn my car around real quick and we go in the coffee shop and I buy him a cup of coffee. And we talked for like another 10 minutes or so. And I said, I'm so sorry, I have to leave. And he's like, oh, well, you know what, Give me your phone number and let me call you a little bit later and we can talk. So he asked for my digits. So I said, okay, I will be home around 5 o'. Clock.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I think that's so funny that you were at the red light. What if I'm not?

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

My thing is that you stayed for like five minutes later you were, you stayed late. If you had left right at 10, you wouldn't have seen him at the light.

[Jamie Massey]

All these things could have happened. So I go to the Braves game at work, I come home, I'm kind of chilling a little bit, and at 5:30, my phone rings and he calls. So we talked on the phone for about half an hour, 35 minutes, and he finally says, well, I'm at work, I'm wrapping things up. I'd love for you to come down and see where I work because he owns his own business. I'd love for you to come see it and maybe we can grab some dinner. So I'm thinking, awesome. So I said, I'll be there at 7:30, get in my car, you know, shower, get ready, I'll do all the things, shave my legs, you know, do all the things you do. And I drive down to his place of business and he's there, he gives me a hug, he takes me on a tour of the place.

[Caller/Guest]

It's all so exciting.

[Jamie Massey]

And we're talking and we're laughing. It's like total chemistry. You just hit it off and you just get along. And so I take the tour and I'm thinking, okay, he's like, successful, he's got his own business, he's cute, you know, this is perfect.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

You're like, what's wrong with him?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah, so we walk down the street and there's like a ton of restaurants and stuff. So we. Pete picks out a restaurant and we go in and we sit down and we order dinner and dinner comes and we are just talking and laughing like we've known each other forever.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Awesome.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

And.

[Jamie Massey]

At some point.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Oh no.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Oh no. The pause is scaring me for some reason.

[Jamie Massey]

It's almost like I'm gonna get upset about this. I. I said to him, so tell me a little bit more about yourself. I said, haha, you're not married, are you? He goes, how'd you know to ask that?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Shut up.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

You're kidding me.

[Jamie Massey]

He was married.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

No, you're kidding me.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

How did you know to ask me that?

[Jamie Massey]

Didn't wear a ring.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

See now, Jen, hobby. What'd you just say?

[Caller/Guest]

Jamie?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I'm sorry. I know.

[Jamie Massey]

So socks, dude. He's like, yeah, I am, actually. I've been married about two years. And I said, were you? I mean, the. Look, I still can't, I still can't believe that I even asked that. I was totally kidding. And he goes, how did you not ask that? I was like, I was joking. And he says, he says, well I said, why didn't you tell me that? And he said, well, I didn't know how. And plus, you know, I just like to meet people and you're a beautiful girl. And I said, does your wife know that you're out here meeting people? And he goes, oh no, I'm not going to tell her about this. And I said, when were you planning on telling me? And he said, well, I wasn't going to do it today. Maybe, you know, like down the road.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Are you kidding?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Are kidding me?

[Jamie Massey]

And I said, I mean, I was absolutely humiliated. Humiliated.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Oh, so what happens then? Like, do you just like get up and walk out like I said there.

[Jamie Massey]

For like 4 minutes and listen to him BS just babble, just on and on and on. And finally I just said, you know what I mean? You put yourself out there like that, you know, and you know that they know that you're putting yourself out there like that.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

There's a reason for you to be humiliated. There's no reason for you to be humiliated. He should be.

[Jamie Massey]

You cannot help. You just can't help it. So I just said, you know what? I've got to go. I need to get out of here. And fortunately my car was not too far outside the restaurant and I went and got my car and just started falling.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Oh, I am so sorry.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

I'm surprised he told you. I am if he would have gone that far, if he invited you out, if he took you to show you his show off his business, took you out for food, and then he told you that quickly, like, there's something about that.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Well, she asked point blank.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Though he wasn't going to bring it up himself. He had other intentions.

[Jamie Massey]

When I said to him, so are you married? The look on his face, we were smiling, laughing, and it went like, blank. And since then, I know somebody who knows somebody who knows him.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay, so.

[Jamie Massey]

And he is. After I called them and asked them about that, they went to that person. That person went to the other person and confirmed it.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

That he's married?

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Oh, that is so disappointing. That is so awful.

[Jamie Massey]

You know, it's just. I like, cried all the way home and then by the time I got home, I'm like, this is freaking perfect. It's just perfect. It just. It's just kind of the way that my little dating life has been going. And it just. It's entertaining to me at this point. It is entertaining to me because you've.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Told us you're like, swearing off men.

[Jamie Massey]

I have had like in the past three or four months, everything but this happened. And now it's like, okay, I don't think that there's anything else that can happen on a date to me that has not happened already at this point. This one, it kind of came out. I'm not gonna lie. It surprised the hell out of me.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

You know, the next one's gonna be gay.

[Jamie Massey]

That's gonna happen too, I'm sure. I don't know. I just. Yeah. So that was my coffee shop update.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Your serendipity supposed to be romantic like that. What was the Tom Hanks Meg Ryan like?

[Jamie Massey]

You've got mail. Yeah. Yeah. And the problem is that I sat here and listened to Jen just go on and on on Friday. This could be the one. It could be serendipity.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

It could be.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Oh, yeah, I got him. Like when you were telling that story, I'm like, I've already got you walking down the aisle.

[Jamie Massey]

Oh, I totally. She's planning my kids too.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

You know, mostly he had already done it, so it sucks.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

That sucks. I don't know what else to tell you, but that's awful.

[Jamie Massey]

And I have held this for days and days and Then starting at 5:30 this morning, all the way up until now, and I just wanted to tell you guys so bad. And you're like.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

She was tagging out traffic reports with. And I'm Jamie Massey, went out to Mary guy This weekend.

[Jamie Massey]

I just feel sorry for his wife. I mean, I. I certainly hope that maybe he learned a bit of a lesson there.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

So he really. I. Man, he thought you were gonna go along with it.

[Jamie Massey]

I don't. I don't. I mean, I don't know.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

There's some moral support for you.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Jamie's not the only one this happened to. Colleen says don't feel bad because it took him longer to tell her. Hey, Colleen.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. I just want to say don't feel bad. I dated a guy for almost a month before I figured it out.

[Jamie Massey]

Oh, my gosh. How did you find out?

[Caller/Guest]

We gone to dinner, and before we had ordered, he said something about my first wife. And I kind of said, okay, how many wives have you had? Because, well, I've been married once, and I'm married now. I said, okay, what did you do?

[Jamie Massey]

Did you just, like. Because, I mean, when he. When I found out that I sat there because I think I was in shock, and I sat there for, like, five minutes and listened to him BS me, and then I got up and just said I had to leave. What did you do?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I was in Boston at the time and had precipitation, so ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. Let him take me back to the hotel. And didn't hear from him ever again. Didn't call him nothing.

[Jamie Massey]

Good for you.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Awesome. Thanks. Colleen. Maggie. Same thing happened to Maggie online, too.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. I was with friends at Eclipse Saloon one night and met this beautiful guy. We danced all night, had a great time. I gave him my phone number, not really thinking anything would come of it. And for a couple of weeks, he called me every day. We talked, and I was thinking, you know, this has to be too good to be true. And we decided to meet up again at Eclipse. Elena. And we were talking, and when I was listening to Jamie's story, I was like, that's exactly what happened to me, because we were having a great time. And I was like, you're not married, are you? And he was like, yeah. And I was just shocked. And I was like, you know, how long have you been married? And he said, a couple of months.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Months?

[Caller/Guest]

And I was like, well, does your wife know about this? And he said, yeah, she's actually meeting me up here in a few minutes.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

What?

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Oh, what?

[Jamie Massey]

You're gonna get a little freaky.

[Caller/Guest]

So at that point, I dipped. I was not staying around for that. And he continued to call for about another week, but I just ignored his calls.

[Jamie Massey]

And did he. Was he wearing a ring?

[Caller/Guest]

No, he wasn't I.

[Jamie Massey]

This guy wasn't wearing a ring either. And I asked him, I said, why don't you what? Where's your ring? And he said, I don't believe in wearing rings.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Of course not.

[Jamie Massey]

Well, now.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Yeah.

[Jamie Massey]

Because you couldn't pick up chicks.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, sorry. Thanks for the call. Now, number on line one is Jessica. Who needs the voice disguiser? Phil. All right. Hey, Jessica.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

So the same we're calling happened. Yeah. Who were calling? Jessica. Same thing happened to you?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. It was a little worse though for me. I was actually with this guy. He was really my first like, boyfriend. We were together for a long, long time. And I was, I found out, I was surprised when his wife came to our apartment while we were living together. Yes, we were living together. And his wife actually showed up at our apartment and she's like, well, who are you? They were supposed to be just separated, of course. And like, I never knew he was married at all. I knew he had a child. They had a three year old little boy. And I knew he had a child. I did not know that they were actually married. And it was. Oh my God. It was the hardest thing for me, like cope with. Because we had been together for so long.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

How long? How long had you been together?

[Caller/Guest]

We were together for almost eight and a half months.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay, eight and a half months. And you did not know he was married? That's nuts.

[Caller/Guest]

And it was horrible, Jessica.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Sorry about that. But you know what? Michelle just called up and eight months is dropping the bucket to how long.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

She was with the guy.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Hey, Michelle.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Do you need the voice disguiser?

[Caller Michelle]

No.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Okay.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

How long were you together?

[Caller Michelle]

Five years.

[Jamie Massey]

Five years.

[Caller Michelle]

Five years. I never suspected a thing.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

You're kidding.

[Caller Michelle]

No, no, no. He even, he went as far as to ask me to marry him. We went ring shopping. We were dead serious. My daughter, you know, she used to call him daddy. I mean, everything was going smoothly and I had taken an investigations class. And during that class I received some software that I, you know, investigated people. And I found some stuff on him that really I had to question. And during the course of it, I had called him and I had confronted him and he said, well, yeah, so what? I said, so what? You're married and it doesn't mean anything to you? And I was like, no, what are you going to do about it? So I googled his address and my daughter and I went down in front of his house and we're sitting in front of his house and I called him on his. And I said, you know, you really need to Mow the grass.

[Caller/Guest]

What do you mean?

[Caller Michelle]

And I said, well, what's that brown covered thing in the backyard? He goes, what are you doing out here? He goes, oh, my God. He goes, my wife's coming home. I said, yeah, and that's the point, is I'm gonna sit here until she does.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie Massey]

So did you talk to her? You chickened out?

[Caller Michelle]

I chickened out.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I couldn't do it. Did you ever talk to her?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Caller Michelle]

But I gave him one last booty call and said, that's it. You know, you will never ever see. And he called. I mean, one time he called 42 times in one day.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Whoa.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

So he.

[Caller Michelle]

42 times.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

He live. We all living together?

[Caller/Guest]

No. No.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Okay.

[Caller Michelle]

That's just it. He was convenient. He was always at my house. He would come to my house, you know, morning, noon and night. I never suspected it because he was always available. You know, I didn't have his cell. I didn't have his house number. But, you know, like everybody else, you have a cell phone and a house phone. So it doesn't really, you know, you don't question that.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

And he never went over to his house or.

[Caller Michelle]

I know, because he said he lived with his sister and that, you know, it was easy for him to come to me. And I was just so stupid and naive and so crushed when I found. I just couldn't believe that somebody would carry this on for five years.

[Jamie Massey]

I'm never getting married.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

But you had to. You had to know something was up in order to investigate him.

[Caller Michelle]

It was just, you know, there was something in the back of my mind that things just didn't seem right because he started lying. And his lies started catching up with him one after another. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna catch him in something. So, yeah, there was something in the back of my mind, mind that just didn't seem right.

[Jamie Massey]

God, these poor women that are married to these guys that just.

[Caller Michelle]

They don't know that your husband is out doing this all the time. It just doesn't make sense.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Oh, horrible.

[Jamie Massey]

Well, at least I found out in the first, you know, week you didn't.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Waste too much time. You're right.

[Jamie Massey]

Yeah. And nothing, like, at all happened, you know, so that's good. I. I don't feel bad about that.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

The Bird Show.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

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[T-Mobile Announcer]

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[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. 1. It's $15 a month.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

2.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

Seriously, it's $15 a month.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

3.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

No big contracts.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

4.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

I use it. 5.

[Mint Mobile Spokesperson (Ryan Reynolds)]

My mom used to say, are you, are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Payment of $45 for three month plan $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

Taxes and fees extra.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

See mint mobile.com.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

We all knew, we were all convinced when Father Bailey came in here for the first time that when all was said and done, dude was going to end up with his own like board game, his own bobblehead doll. Bobblehead doll. His own I. You know. Now it has been suggested that Father Bailey get his own T shirts with his merchandising. Merchandising. Not, not by Father Crunk, I should say, but by some students at Holy Spirit.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Well, no, it's the young professionals. A bunch of wonderful young men and women about my age, around 32 and, and below. Hey, sounds good, you know. And they can't wait with this T shirt by the way of a young lady by the name of Erica Wright that's off the segment I did a couple of months back about stop dipping and dapping. You know what's happening? I think the T shirt says all this Catholic dipping and dapping in is happening. And it says got crunk in the front. Got milk. So we're trying to see if we can try to get a little advertisement for Q100 to, you know, move these shirts and everything in the church, you know, T shirts.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Now, I'm telling you, we're gonna lose them. We're gonna lose them to Hollywood.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

And he really is a Roman Catholic priest.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I have mass at 8:30. You know, it's real.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

For those of you that haven't heard Father Bailey before, he comes in every week and he says, look, don't look at Hollywood and kind of laugh at their dysfunction. What you have to do is take a look at all the messed up things that go on in Hollywood and embrace it and learn from it. And this week he's got a really tough assignment because he took on Naomi Campbell.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

What's up, party people? Once again, it's on. It's your boy back on the airways. Father Ricardo Bailey for Holy Spirit Catholic Church in the ghetto of Buckhead and Sandy Spring. Now this morning we're going to talk about the absolutely outrageous behavior of Ms. Naomi Campbell. This lady has been in the news for several months about her alleged attitude problem. She has a problem with cellular phones, blackberries and people who she thinks get on her nerves. Now just peep the rap sheet that she has so far. She is reputed to have a temper. She attended an anger management course in Arizona in the fall of 1999 in an effort to rescue her relationship with her boss, Flavio Briatore. The following year she claimed to be a new woman, but they split up in 2001. Now they are alleged cat involving violence against her staff, often involving throwing a cell phone. I mean, you know, cell phones are so expensive, man, how can you throw it? But I guess you got as much money she has, you're good to go.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

But when you get all mad at Holy Spirit, you just throw cordless phones because they're less expensive, easier to replace, right?

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

I throw nothing at Holy Spirit. I want to remain a priest. Now, in 2000, she pleaded guilty in Toronto for assault to Georgiana Glanes, her then assistant. Campbell had assaulted her for telephone in a hotel room and threatened to throw her out of a moving car. She needs a mentor, y'.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

All.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Oh, my God.

[Caller/Guest]

Tuck and roll, tuck and roll.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

In November 2004, she attacked her personal assistant who had her lip bitten. And she was headbutted by Naomi Campbell. In March of 2005, she slapped her assistant, Amanda Brack, and beat her around the head with a black Bear handheld personal organizer. Her spokesman, Ron Shutter, denied the incident ever took place. Yeah, right. And then the Italian actress Yvonne Socio claimed that the model left her covered in blood after a fight at a Rome hotel. Yvonne claimed, she punched me in the face. She was like Mike Tyson. Now, there were rumors that she was going out with Mike Tyson, of course. In March of 2006 of this year, she was arrested for allegedly assaulting her assistant with a blinged out, encrusted cell phone, resulting in a bloody head that requires stitches.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

You can deny one of them, like, publicly. You can say, look, the fight with the bloody lip, when I bit the girl's lip, that's not true.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

The cell phone slipped out of my hand.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

You can probably deny one of them. But when you've built a case, a.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Bling cell phone, I mean, oh, my gosh, this. I am speechless, Atlanta. But you know what? Let's go ahead on and get it done now. You know, it is my job to find something in the Bible that can either relate with my topic or even give a lesson as to how we can learn from the dysfunction of Hollywood. Lord have mercy. The behavior of human beings do not cease to amaze me. I mean, you can look in the New Testament and see the evil and the malice of Herodias, the wife of King Herod, and the way that she used her daughter Salome to perform an exotic dance to influence King Herod into getting her own ultimate wish. That is to get the head of John the Baptist. Now, you all know what happened. Salome did the dance, and as a result of her job, King Herod promised to give her whatever she wished. She asked her Mount Herodias, and she asked for the head of John the Baptist. Now, this was a very sadistic act, but Naema Campbell is totally out of her mind. If I did not have the Lord in my life and if I wasn't a priest, she would have only one time to try to hit me with a telephone. Now, I am not I Turner, and I will never hit a woman, nor would I advocate the abuse of anyone. But Ms. Campbell needs to be set on the right path and she needs to get her act together. Now, if you look at her life, you'll see that she was born in South London. She is mostly of Afro Jamaican heritage, and her father is also partially Jamaican and Chinese. So I don't know if there's anything in her blood, but, you know, I mean, she went to a good school, so she is Jamaican. That's really having some problems here. She is lacking common sense. Now, I would bet you all that the folks that Naomi is hitting and having her tantrums on are not as tall or physically defined as she is. However, what needs to happen in this case is a good old dose of humility and intimidation. Oh, yeah, I said it. This is a chance to teach Naomi and all bullies a lesson, and that's what I want to focus on today. We have all had a bully in our life, and the worst thing about a bully is that they are the personification of evil in that particular stage. But you can deal with bullies and still be loved by God. Please note before you send me the hater emails and the mean phone calls. I am not advocating violence. I'm just talking about tracing and placing the fear of God in these folks who think they can go around and treat you like you are less than a dog. Now, what Naomi needs is a meek and a wonderful woman who is not small to be her assistant housekeeper. I'm talking to all the ladies at the Waffle House, all the ladies on the south side of town, and all those big girls from the country. I am telling you all right now, I am not hating on these women in Atlanta. But we need to have an employment drive at Q100 for someone to become Naomi's personal assistant. Imagine, just imagine if Naomi had a temper tantrum with a lady from the Waffle House or a mother from the south side of Atlanta or even one of the many women that we have in our lives that we call big Mama. Imagine Naomi trying to have a tantrum with her. Yep, I said trying. Because if these women are anything like my mother, they will say it would be her trial and it would be her funeral. Atlanta, I believe that it's time for all people who are being bullied in any form or fashion to stand up and be like Ludacris, who says, when I move, you move. Just like that. You need to do Atlantis to understand that bullies need to have the fear of God. And then when they start tripping, imagine Naomi Campbell threw a shoe, a cell phone, or even a BlackBerry at me. It would be her last time because I am from the south side and I would do what anybody else would do on the south side. I would catch their phone, I would catch their BlackBerry, and I would catch that shoe. And I will hold it in the air in my hand, take the phone, the BlackBerry, the shoe to her face, hammer up against the wall, and look at the holy terror on her face. And I will let her know right then and right there. If you do not want this phone, this BlackBerry, or this shoe to be a permanent part of your body, you better Leave me alone. Now, you know, Atlanta, that's what you got to do. You don't have to be too buffed out. You just have to say, enough is enough and too much is too much. Therefore, my words today is that we can certainly learn from Naomi's dysfunction in the same way that she tries to imitate with her prestige, size, and cash flow. You can return that intimidation by just placing the fear of God in that bully. Now, I got a new song for y'. All. And I ask forgiveness from Beyonce and Jigga for my impromptu remix. All right, here we go. Naomi, seems like everywhere you go, I see you. From your eyes, you look titt off. But I know I'm watching you helplessly. And I want to reminisce, but hey, I don't want to get out of control, but I need to catch myself. I know that you are so ticked off, but I go on to get some help. You can throw if you want to, but I'll catch you. Then you're gonna be through. And don't think I'm gonna punk you, but when that phone hits you, I'm gonna swear it's deja vu. Did that phone hurt? Sorry, boo, but you may want to get a substitute. Baby, when that phone hits you, you'll swear it's deja vu. So you know what my friends like Luther said? When you move, I move. Just like that. Understand, Atlanta, you can stand up to bullies. Naomi Campbell, this priest in Atlanta said it. You need help, baby. So, Atlanta, understand if you got a boss, a loved one, or somebody who loves to throw a shoe, a phone, or anything at you, him em ups against the wall, put that phone or that BlackBerry in their face and tell them, baby, if you do not want this to be a permanent part of your body or your blood flow, you best to leave me alone. So, Atlanta, Georgia, this your boy, Father Crunk, Father Bailey, coming at y' all live. And once again, Atlanta, thank you all for the opportunity. Thank you, Q100. And I just want to say. Players, play on. God bless you all. I'll holler at you later. Naomi, get some help, baby.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Father Bailey from the Holy Spirit Catholic Church. Hey, Angela.

[Caller/Guest]

First, can I just say Amen?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Amen. Can you get an amen, sir?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, and I have got to get crunched.

[Caller Michelle]

Where do I get a T shirt?

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Hey, you know, I'll tell you what. We're trying to get the T shirts made up and everything, but as soon as we do, I will let Burton know. But we have to get a little permission from people here and people there. And when it happens, I'll hook you up, all right?

[Caller/Guest]

I will be first in line with my big amen.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Lord have mercy.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Thank you for calling, Angela.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Bye.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Bye.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

I just imagine.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Yeah, I just imagine you with the. You know, the cell phone and Naomi and you take. I mean, don't make him take his collar off.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

You know what? The whole thing about this whole Naomi Camel reminds me of a story. When I was a kid, the one institution on the face of this earth that's put fear in any Catholic child are nuns.

[Host (Female, possibly Melissa Carter)]

When I was a child.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

When I was a child, I used to be holy hell and terror in a kindergarten. And I had this nun named Sister Regina. I had this beautiful, fine physique that y' all see right now, you know what I'm saying? I was a small little kid back in the day. Sister. Sister Regina picked me up by my collar like Batman picked up the Joker. And she said, you know what? Boy, if you acted one more time, you are going to be in serious trouble. Hit me up on the shoulder, you.

[Caller/Guest]

Know what I'm saying?

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

I was like, lord have mercy. This is scary. And the thing about nuns and black women.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Sister Regina, Sister Regina.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

The thing about nuns and black women is that when the nuns got you, you had to face your mom at home. So I think I can only count on my hand maybe two times. I acted up, and hence, I'm a priest right now. That's what it works.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

We used to have. When I went to school, we used to have Sister. Sister Carolyn, I think it was. And she had. She did not. She was a nun. But her fingernails were like the. Like, she must have gone every week for a manicure or whatever, and she would just put one of those on your neck like a fingernail. And as soon as you felt that.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

You'Re like, oh, man, when I see nuns walking down the street, I walk on the other side of the street. You, man, I love them. I love them, but they. Man, they. They did it.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Davina, good morning. You're on the Birch show. All the hits. Q100.

[T-Mobile Announcer]

How you doing?

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

All right. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I am dying in my car, laughing so hard. This guy is unbelievable. This first time I've ever heard him. And I will take the job with Naomi Campbell. And I wish.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

There you go.

[Caller/Guest]

She would throw a phone at me.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

One time.

[Caller/Guest]

And anybody who knows me knows she will eat that phone.

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

But I love to show you guys.

[Caller/Guest]

And keep it up.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Thank you.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Thanks, Davina. All right, sir, so all your information up online at all the hits. Q100. Com. You have anything else coming up you need to give a hit to?

[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

I think that's about it, y'. All. You know, Club Paraclete still on and popping every weekend. You know, we got the shows and the party coming in, you know, at 5:30 on Saturdays, 8:30 and 10:00 clock and 11:30 and 5:30 on Sunday. So you know, come on, get in where you fit in, y'. All. You know, get it, get it done.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

And get your Father Bailey T shirts, foam fingers and beer mugs and the father Bailey iPod.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

ITunes the Bird Show.

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[Father Ricardo Bailey (Father Crunk)]

Up.

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[Caller/Guest]

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[Jamie Massey]

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[Caller/Guest]

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[Caller Michelle]

Way we communicate, how to be a.

[Host (Female, possibly Jen Hobby)]

Better leader and more.

[Caller/Guest]

Listen to TED Talks Daily wherever you get your podcasts.

[Host (Male, possibly Jeff)]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

[Host (Male, possibly Bert)]

Acest.

[Caller/Guest]

Com.