The Bert Show – Full Show Pt 1: Monday, December 15 [Vault]

Original Air Date: December 15, 2025
Featuring: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Episode Highlight: Interview with Avril Lavigne, Spring Break Sting Operations, and Candid Listener Q&A

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is a vibrant mix of celebrity interview, candid talk, audience interaction, and a healthy dose of drama. The show dives into the realities of life on tour with singer Avril Lavigne, discusses the hazards and ethics of their popular “Spring Break Sting” segments where parents attempt to catch their kids in a lie, and features revealing and comedic listener Q&As that underscore the show's trademark blend of honesty and humor.

1. Interview with Avril Lavigne

([Starts approx. 04:00])

Touring Life, Media Rumors & Songwriting

• Morning Routine on Tour:
  Avril and her guitarist Evan chat with the hosts about the grind of traveling, waking up in new cities, and the exhausting schedule of promotional appearances and acoustic performances.

  • “Wake up, get to a radio station, play in front of a mall, then go home. ...I really like it here in Cleveland. It’s great.” — Avril

• Rumor Control & Media Exaggeration:
  Avril addresses stories circulating online about alleged diva behavior, including the infamous poster-tearing incident and supposed spats with other stars.

  • On poster incident:
    “They had this horrible photo up of me, and I’m like, ‘Oh, don’t have that up there.’ And he’s like, ‘Tear it down. Rip it up.’ And I’m like, ‘Okay.’ So I did. But it wasn’t like I was throwing a temper tantrum.” — Avril (08:45)
  • On being misrepresented:
    “See how people can really manipulate a situation? ...People just try to make you, like, sound like one way, like, so annoying. But anyway, yeah, he told me. He’s like, ‘Rip it down.’ So I did, because it was a really ugly picture.” — Avril (09:20)

• Hilary Duff Rumor & Star Rivalries:
  Avril addresses purported feuds with Hilary Duff and the “anti-Britney” label.

  • “I never heard the interview... There was a quote that I didn’t even say. ...And then I said she needs to shut her mouth because she’s a goody goody and a mommy’s girl, and it’s not her place to talk about me or I’ll have to shut her mouth for her.” — Avril (10:55, tongue-in-cheek)
  • Avril underlines the lesson to be cautious with her words in interviews, learning early from a comment about Britney Spears being widely reported:
    “I was like 17 and it was everywhere. My parents were like, ‘Why did you say that?’ because I cursed in it.” — Avril (13:45)

• Songwriting and Working With Butch Walker:
  Avril discusses the creative process and her collaboration with Butch Walker, highlighting mutual respect and her evolving approach to the industry.

  • “[Butch] can really take a song and just like really build it really well and stuff. ...We wrote some songs together... I think my second single is probably going to be called ‘My Happy Ending.’” — Avril (15:35)

• On Industry Pressures and Promotion:
  Avril admits adjusting her attitude about interviews and publicity, though she'd ideally prefer just making music and performing.

  • “I thought it would kind of be like, oh, writing songs and recording them and then going on stage and performing and being in a tour bus. But there’s so much more.” — Avril (17:40)

Acoustic In-Studio Performance

([Starts ~23:00])

• Avril performs “Don’t Tell Me” live, showcasing her authenticity and addressing the themes of boundaries and self-respect in her music.

Memorable Quotes & Light-Hearted Moments

• “I am a pretty good judge of talent, and I think that with your voice, I really think that you could win the next American Idol title competition.” – Bert (after Avril’s song, 28:50)
• “It would be an honor to be spat on by you.” – Bert (re: tabloid rumors, 12:10)

2. The Bert Show’s “Let’s Be Honest” & AMA Segment

([Begins ~30:00])

The cast dives into a candid Q&A session, drawing anonymous questions written by themselves or asked by callers. Topics range from light-hearted confessions to surprisingly honest answers about personal lives.

Highlights & Notable Questions

• “If you could have lost your virginity to someone you’ve since met, who would it be?”

  • “Pink. That’s your answer, right?” — Female cast member (32:10)

• “Do you still have a picture of an ex?”

  • Jeff admits he has one in an attic, causing laughter and discussion of old topless photos and their fate (34:00).

• Awkward Personal Dares:

  • Hilarious hypothetical: “For $2 million, would you ‘go south of the border’ with a man?” sets off a chain of ribald jokes and banter over personal limits and “everyone has a price.” (38:40)
  • “It would have to be either a lot of money or four whole margaritas!” – Jen (39:30)

• On Radio Names:
  Discussion on whether DJs actually use stage names.

  • “Not for us. In this room, every name... I think it depends on what your original name is.” — Bert
  • “It was discussed... my name was easy to say, so we can just keep it with Melissa Carter, which is my real name.” — Melissa (44:10)

• Embarrassing Habits:

  • Bert confesses to intimate grooming habits and other private behaviors, emphasizing the show’s “nothing off-limits” spirit (46:00).

3. Spring Break Sting Operations

([Starts ~53:00])

The show revives their infamous “Spring Break Sting” segment, in which concerned parents try to learn the real whereabouts (and activities) of their college-age children.

Segment 1: “Mom Anne Tracks Down Carrie”

(~54:00–1:11:00)

• Setup: Anne suspects her daughter Carrie lied about visiting Charlotte for a tame spring break; a charge in Fort Lauderdale appears on Anne’s credit card.

• Anne wants to verify Carrie’s location—torn between her daughter’s independence and honesty.

  • “If she wants to be independent and she wants her own life, then... she can stop taking money from me all the time.” — Anne (56:55)

• The Sting: The Bert Show crew calls Carrie, pretending to be a radio team checking in with spring breakers. Carrie sticks to her “I’m in Charlotte” story even under light grilling.

• Evasion Skills: Carrie offers vague details about locations, weather, even the supposed “beltway” she drove on—hilariously inaccurate for anyone remotely familiar with Charlotte (1:07:00).

• Follow-Up: Anne concedes Carrie’s probably been tipped off and credits her daughter’s smarts, while a listener calls to confirm Carrie’s geography fails prove she’s not in Charlotte.

  • “You know she’s not in Charlotte, right? And I think we made her nervous enough.” – Bert (1:10:30)

Segment 2: The Ethics and History of the Sting

(~1:12:00–1:15:30)

• The cast debates the fairness of these segments, noting the potential fallout for parent–child trust, but acknowledges safety is sometimes a legitimate cause for intervention.

Segment 3: Joint Parent Case – Exes and Broken Agreements

(~1:16:00–1:29:00)

• Dad John from Atlanta suspects his ex-wife Lynn in Baltimore is secretly allowing their 17-year-old daughter to attend Daytona Beach’s notorious spring break, despite an explicit agreement.

• On-Air Reveal: Via a ruse, the show gets Lynn on the air to openly admit their daughter's location; John seizes the moment to confront her.

  • “This is unbelievable. I can't believe you pulled this nonsense with me, Lynn. … I do think my voice is important in this situation.” — John (1:25:35)
  • “She is an adult. And if we don’t trust her now, how are we supposed to trust her next year when she goes away to school?” — Lynn (1:26:20)

• Escalation: Arguments fly about trust, parenting, and hypocrisy. The segment ends with the exes told to take the discussion off the air.

4. Signature Bert Show Blend: Real Talk, Humor, and Vulnerability

Throughout the episode, the cast’s willingness to be honest about their personal lives, relationships, and even embarrassing habits, underlines the show’s appeal: playful yet uncensored camaraderie with a touch of heart.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the tabloid rumor mill:
  “[Online rumors] just make you kind of distrust. … That’s why a lot of times in interviews I hold myself back, because you never know how things will be twisted.” – Avril Lavigne (12:20)
• Listener after spring-break call:
  “I felt like I was in a room with my parents fighting. … Oh my God, are they getting divorced?” – Jennifer (35:40)
• Regarding price for awkward dares:
  “My friend Chris says any guy that answers ‘no amount of money’ is a liar, because every guy has his price...” (40:00)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Avril Lavigne Interview: 04:00–29:00
• Live Acoustic Song (“Don’t Tell Me”): 23:00–28:50
• Let’s Be Honest/Ask Us Anything: 30:00–53:00
• Spring Break Sting – Anne and Carrie: 54:00–1:11:00
• Ethics Chat & Segment Recap: 1:12:00–1:15:30
• Spring Break Sting – John, Lynn & Daytona: 1:16:00–1:29:00

Final Thoughts

This episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s unique combination of celebrity access, laugh-out-loud group dynamic, and unscripted realness—whether grilling pop stars, examining their own dirty laundry, or navigating the messiness of parent–child relationships. The show’s cast pulls no punches and neither do its listeners, making for an authentic and highly relatable morning radio experience.