Transcript

Susan (0:00)

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap.

Melissa (0:03)

You're almost at the finish line.

Nicole's Mom (0:06)

But first.

Susan (0:18)

There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

Nicole's Mom (0:30)

Time.

Burt (0:31)

It's always vanishing. The commute, the errands, the work functions, the meetings. Selling your car. Unless you sell your car with Carvana. Get a real offer in minutes.

Melissa (0:42)

Get it picked up from your door.

Burt (0:43)

Get paid on the spot so fast you'll wonder what the catch is.

Susan (0:47)

There isn't one.

Burt (0:48)

We just respect you and your time. Oh, you're still here. Move along now. Enjoy your day. Sell your car today. Carvana Pick up FEES MAY apply. THE BURCH show so we got into this conversation last week, and we asked you guys if you work with a whole bunch of other women. Is what we're seeing on the Apprentice really a pretty good snapshot of what it's like with women working with other women? And I think most called up and said, yeah, you know what? It's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty accurate. And then we had one woman call up and say that, you know what? This is the reason why she doesn't work with other women and she has no women friends. And that just drove Melissa crazy.

Melissa (1:31)

Well, I just feel like it sends up, I don't know, a red flag in my mind if a woman says that, because I don't know if a woman has to make the statement that she's only friends with guys because she just doesn't like women as friends. I don't know, that says something to me more about her than. Than anything.

Burt (1:46)

These are the women that I want to talk to. If you're a woman that just doesn't have any other women friends, you refuse to for whatever reason, I want to know what those reasons are. Because this, to me, is only interesting because it's something that you would never, ever hear a guy say.

Jeff (1:59)

Right? I'm only friends with women.

Burt (2:02)

Right. Just would not happen.

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Monday, December 22 [Vault]

Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Original Air Date: December 22, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers a highly entertaining mix of authentic group banter, listener participation, and memorable storylines typical of Atlanta’s favorite morning radio show. The primary themes are the dynamics of female friendships (and why some women avoid them), and a lively listener-driven romantic “Love Lost and Found” segment. Additionally, the episode includes a signature phone scam prank and plenty of playful moments between hosts Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the rest of the crew.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Women and Female Friendships

(00:48 – 10:14)

Prompt: Are women really as “catty” with each other as sometimes portrayed, and why do some women say they only have male friends?
Listener Call-Ins and Host Opinions:
- Marie (caller): Dislikes “weak women” and has ended friendships over behaviors she disapproves of, such as infidelity. “But most of the women I run into, they're weak women. And I can't stand a weak woman.” (02:24)
- Jen raises the issue: “Do you think when women say, I only hang out with guy friends, that they're almost feeling like they're withdrawing themselves from the competition with other women?” (03:25)
- Melissa challenges women who claim they’re “above” the cattiest behavior. “If a woman says she does not hang out with other women, she's presenting herself as above all other women.” (04:49)
- Jeff humorously reflects, “I feel like I'm trapped in Oprah's head.” (05:17)
- Kerri (caller): Finds herself with mostly male friends due to personality fit and shared interests, especially in male-dominated fields. Struggles to form close female friendships not due to dislike, but lack of compatibility.
- Laura (caller) provides the other side, highlighting positive, loyal female friendships: “We cook casseroles. When someone's sick, we clean their house.” (07:51)
Big Picture Insight:
- The group agrees individuals—regardless of gender—who struggle with group dynamics may fare better in one-on-one friendships.
- The hosts push back on stereotypes: “Women are just as complex...There’s a variety of women out there.” – Melissa (07:17)

Notable Quotes

Marie: “I'm your friend to the end, like a Chucky doll.” (02:17)
Melissa: “Saying you won't hang out with other women because they're too catty is kind of a catty thing to do.” (05:04)
Jen: “Some people should just stick to friendships one-on-one.” (09:55)

2. Love Lost and Found: The Search for George

(10:15 – 26:20)

Backstory Recap (by Jen at 10:53):
- Listener Susan met George on South Beach during Labor Day Weekend 2003. She felt an immediate connection, took his number, but then lost it. After a year of thinking about him, The Bert Show's producers tracked down George.
Susan and George Reunited On-Air:
- Producer Judy spoke to George’s friends, confirming his identity and making contact with George, who now lives in Arizona.
- George recalls the beach encounter and confirms being single, having spent the past six months traveling in Central America and the U.S.
- The show offers to arrange for a reunion trip, suggesting Delta Airlines could help bring George and Susan together.
Heart of the Segment:
- The conversation is genuine and light, with some teasing about wedding plans if the romance works out.
- Susan describes her connection to George: “That’s kind of what brought me here right now.” (20:25)
- George admits he had “hoped to spend more time” with Susan and that she “looked great in her bikini.” (22:02)
- Burt jokes: “If Susan doesn’t marry you, I will, right?” (20:12)
Memorable Wrap-Up:
- The show commits to making the meeting happen: “You will see each other again. Damn it.” – Burt (23:38)
- Susan is overjoyed: “I can't believe you all found him.” (25:30)
- The hosts playfully plan Susan and George’s hypothetical wedding: “I'm going to the beach for my wedding.” – Susan (26:15)

Notable Quotes

Susan: “I guess I just wanted to tell him that I love him. No, when I got your number on the beach, I thought I saved it in my telephone.” (20:25)
George: “I quit trying to figure out how girls think a long time ago.” (21:07)
Melissa: “He sounds cool. Like traveling across the country in his car and going to South America and he surfs and he's taking time off to find himself. Man, that's cool.” (25:33)

3. Phone Scam: “Nicole’s Mom”

(27:02 – 32:10)

Segment Overview:
- Jeff prank-calls a woman pretending to be a lovelorn date rejected by her daughter Nicole. The over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek desperation leads the mom to humorously downplay her own daughter’s “perfections”—and even her own looks.
- The call ends with the reveal of the prank: “This is Jeff with the Bert show...and your daughter Nicole asked me to phone scam you because she's tired of the blind dates.” (32:09)

Memorable Moments & Quotes

Jeff (as Brandon): “Maybe if you could put in a word for me or a reference or a recommendation...” (28:24)
Nicole’s Mom: “Well, she's not very neat, you know, for instance…” (30:16)
Jeff: (jokily, after her honesty) “To be honest, you’re not my type…maybe a little stocky.” (31:44)

Notable Quotes (with Attribution & Timestamps)

Marie (Listener):
- “I'm your friend to the end, like a Chucky doll.” (02:17)
- “Most of the women I run into, they're weak women. And I can't stand a weak woman.” (02:24)
Melissa (Host):
- “Saying that you won't hang out with other women because they're too catty is kind of a catty thing to do.” (05:04)
- “I've got plenty of female friends. You can't just take one woman's personality and blame all women for it.” (07:17)
Jen (Host):
- “Some people should just stick to friendships one on one. And other people can be really great and cohesive in a group…” (09:55)
Burt (Host):
- “Do you have any plans to come to Atlanta soon?” (22:49)
- “If Susan doesn't marry you, Bert will, right?” (20:12)
George (Caller):
- “No, I've been traveling alone. I had a few buddies meet me…but no women. Definitely single at this point, still.” (19:46)
- “She's a cute girl and looked great in her bikini, and I was hoping that we have an opportunity to spend some more time together down there.” (22:02)
Susan (Caller):
- “That's kind of what brought me here right now.” (20:25)
- “I can't believe you all found him.” (25:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Opening & Friendship Debate: 00:48 – 10:14
Love Lost and Found: Susan and George: 10:15 – 26:20
Phone Scam – Nicole’s Mom: 27:02 – 32:10

Episode Tone and Takeaways

The show stays true to its candid, witty, and compassionate tone, blending listener stories, probing questions, and good-natured jokes.
The episode emphasizes the diversity of female relationships, pokes fun at romantic ideals, and delivers a feel-good “reunion” story through genuine radio matchmaking.
Even the prank segment maintains affection and humor, never crossing into mean-spiritedness.

“You will see each other again. Damn it.”
— Burt (23:38)

“Some people should just stick to friendships one-on-one…”
— Jen (09:55)

For New Listeners

This episode provides an excellent snapshot of The Bert Show’s unique blend of authenticity, humor, and heart. Whether you relate to the complexities of adult friendship or enjoy a dose of rom-com fandom, the hosts' chemistry and crowd-sourced stories will make your morning more bearable—and a lot more fun.