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Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man. Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you britches. I'm not. Of course he did. Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile. You can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus? Hi, Mrs. Claus. Claus, much younger sister. And AT T mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch, so you can keep your old phone or give it as a gift. And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes. Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber, the holidays are better. AT T Mobile switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. 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Meds and personalization based on clinical need and not available to all individuals. Medications are not reviewed by FDA for safety, efficacy or quality. Pricing based on first month only. The Burch show. Now, Melissa was telling Jen and I a story earlier and this is. I mean, brace yourselves, women. And you know what? It's an anomaly, actually. I'm gonna stand up for this guy because I'm required to, but there's a man in Atlanta just doesn't get it. I know, I know. It's amazing. I couldn't believe the story because you never Hear that? Right. But last night. Last night I called a friend of mine, and I don't want to use her real name, so. What? Make a what? Claire Clay. Claire. Oh, God. That was her real name. I love the name Claire you got. Oh, it's a great name. So, Claire. So we'll call her Claire. So called Claire last night, and you can tell when someone is preoccupied at the moment with something. Like they're just. They're. They're not finished reacting to something that has just happened to them. So she seemed frustrated when she answered the phone, and she said, I just got a call from this guy, and it's. And I don't want to use his real name. So what's a guy name? Phineas. No, Joey. Joey. Okay, Claire and Joey. Let me write that down because I'll forget. Okay, so Claire and Joey. So I called Claire last night. So she had said that she just got this call from Joey and she just let it go to voicemail. And she goes, I cannot believe that he is still calling me. And I'm like, well, what's the story? I had never heard of this guy. And I want to say it was before the holiday. I'm not exactly sure when they went out, but a friend of hers had set her up with this guy, said, oh, you know, he's a great guy. Know him, and I think y' all would get along well. So they went to lunch. You know, the first. You know, the first meeting usually is always a lunch thing. So they go to lunch, have a good time, you know, good conversation. But she realized at that time that this is just not my type of guy, you know, no big deal. So he, you know, called her after the lunch and asked her back out. And she's, you know, was not available to go out. And. And she's the type of woman who is, you know, really nice. She doesn't want, you know, I guess, like, most of you don't want confrontation, especially with someone that you barely know. So why add the drama? Exactly. Just kind of, you know, say you're not available, but thanks so much. And then he asked again, and she, you know, I'm not available, but thanks. So she. That was her first, like, okay, she was never available after that lunch. So then he kept saying, actually did have conversations, and she just said, that day doesn't work out. Sorry, busy that night. I got plans with my friend that afternoon. And. And they did talk. They did talk in the beginning. And, you know, and I'm sure. Well, of course, I. For women, you also There's a level of enthusiasm, you know, like if you're really interested in somebody, you kind of bring, you know, have this high energy with them and, oh, I'm sorry, you know, that I'm not available that night. But maybe, whatever. But she didn't do that. I mean, it was a very. Just plain, oh, you know, I can't. But thanks. He should have gotten the hint. Exactly. That's what she thought. So then he kept calling. So she didn't. She just didn't return his calls. Now through the high. And then when she got surprised, was like, he would call her on Thanksgiving, he called through December, he called on Christmas Day, and she didn't call him back. And he kept calling and kept calling. So last night he had called again, and she said, it looks like I'm going to have to call him and tell, you know, she's like, what should I do? And I'm like, he's obviously not getting the subtle hint, so you're going to have to call him and, and just be straightforward. I said, you know, don't backtrack into the, you know, like, you start feeling bad for him and start trying to make excuses or say, well, maybe, you know, we'd just be friends and blah, blah, blah. Just be, you know, straightforward. Look, but she said, why didn't she. If it's bothering her, why didn't she add six weeks ago? Well, I just wanted to be nice. She thought he'd get the hint. She thought he'd get the hint. And over the holidays, I mean, everybody was so busy that she, her, you know, priority was not going to be to call, you know, Joey back. What if Joey is thinking, oh, she must just be busy over the holidays. Nice try, Jeff. Okay, so, yeah, I'm not going to defend him too much because I. Yeah, yeah, come on, come on now. If you said, there's more. If you said he was going for two or three weeks, I'd be right there with him. Two or three months. Yeah. Okay. So then she said, so last night. So I. And I take afternoons naps in the afternoon. So I had talked to her before my afternoon nap. So she said, okay, I'm going to call him. And so I'm like, well, you know, I'm going to turn my phone off, but you've got to let me know what happens. She said, I'll leave you voicemail. So then she, I, when I woke up, I checked my voicemail and she said, oh, my God. And so I called her back, like, what happened? Oh, God. So she said, you know, she called him and, you know, hey, Joey, it's Claire. And, you know, hey, what's been going on? And he. And I'm not sure exactly how, you know, the beginning of the conversation started, but he went into, oh, yeah, well, you know, the holidays were kind of rough because, you know, my dad's in the hospital. And then he went on about how his mom is sick, too. And so he went on about very sad occurrences in his life over the holidays. And so then she's thinking, well, I can't just all of a sudden be mean to him. No. But she thought, no, I'm going to. No, I'm going to do this. And so she said, you know what? I just wanted to call to let you know. I mean, I know I received your phone calls. We had lunch a few months ago, but I'm just not really interested in a relationship with you. And so then his response was, so what you're saying is you're not interested now? It was not good for you, man. Stay in the game. And she's like, what do I have to do to get this guy? If you're on your feet, you still got some fighting yet. I mean, you know, so. And I'm not. I'm not sure how anybody is pretty much like, yeah, well, no, I'm really. I'm not interested. And so. But she's not sure if he got the hint. I mean, that was last night, right? Now, like, maybe later, maybe if I call you in a month from now, maybe If I wait 24 hours. It's almost like, how are you gonna feel in six months? I mean, do you think you can have feelings for me in six months? I mean, I got Kelly on the phone, and up on my screen it says her comments. Claire doesn't get it. Guys don't get subtle hints. Do you still feel that way, Kelly? Exactly. You just can't play these little guessing games with guys. Like you said earlier, tell the guy up front, what if she felt that she didn't have anything for him on the first date? You say, look, I enjoyed the night or the afternoon or lunch or whatever, but, you know, just things aren't clicking, you know, you're a great person, but I just don't feel anything between us. Did you hear? It's like, subtle. Come on. But did you hear when she was direct with him, what he said? Yeah, but it's like, you know, this is after she strung him along all this time. How did she string him along? I mean, she. How did she string him along. She should have told him on the first date. We weren't clicking. You know, I'm, you know, I appreciate you taking me out or, you know, if they went Dutch or whatever, but, you know, come on, if you're not feeling it, let them know. Don't waste their time. You know what I mean? Specifically, don't waste her time. Hey, it's not yet. Because the one thing I disagree with what you just said about don't waste his time time. I mean, it's two people in her. Her presence is just as important as his. So, like, I think there's some responsibility on his side to, you know, like. Because the idea that a guy has that he's going to try and try and try and try and try, I just think is irresponsible. I think you just have to, you know, hold on. But, you know, most guys don't get quote unquote hints. They need it flat out up front, honestly. All right, Kelly, can you hold on? Because I have an idea here, and I think you might be the perfect person to help with this. So can you hold on for a few more minutes? Okay, hold on. Hey. Hey, Amanda. Hey, how are you? Hey. See, now fight for the guy, okay? He might just be trying to get her and she may not just be ready yet. Because my mom and dad, when they were younger, he did the same thing to my mom. He chased after like six months. He even showed up like in the 60s, 70s, and this big yellow daisy on his shirt with black and purple striped pants. And she's like, I'm not gonna date this guy. They've been married for 30 years now. See, you know what I hope the guys. Listen, Joey. Persistence. I hope persistence pays high. Wear the woman down until she has to give in. That just doesn't sound right. And what you were saying before about how he. When he saw that Claire was calling, he picked up the phone and went into all these bad stories. Immediately went into like, sob, sob, sob. Okay, now what do you have to say? Because I even said that to her last night. I said, obviously if you were calling him, then he must have realized something may not go right because obviously he had it in the back of his mind that she's not interested or he would not have gone in, launched into feel sorry for me first and then try to talk to me, you know, and say you don't want me. What you don't understand, and I hope Greg will back me up, is guys don't. Guys aren't capable of that. Multi level thought like that, you know what that is? That's conniving. And guys don't have the conniving gene the way women do. Look at you, Jeff$greg, help me. You're exactly right. Thank you. This is typical of a lot of women that I've dated around Atlanta. They just think that, you know, that we're supposed to be able to have, be this perfect little mind reader and when actually they should just come out and say, look, hey, you know, appreciate dinner, but, you know, you just, we ain't great, let's be friends. But instead they imply this little whatever they got in their brain that, you know, we're supposed to catch this little freaky little hint that they've got when they can just come out and freaking say it's point blank. Just open your mind. Let me ask you a question. A freaky little hint like no return phone call for two months. What about that don't you get? Maybe she was busy, she said she was busy. The holidays. If you didn't have point blank, there's no sense in beating around the bush. If you don't want to go out, maybe just say it. I'm a person. You're a person. We both live here. We both got mouth and lungs. Just say it. Easier that way. Greg, let me just tell you, okay? If a girl doesn't call you back for a couple of months, she's just not that into you. Oh, yeah, I agree with that. But still, I mean, there's no sense in not beating, not being direct. There's no sense of beating around the bush. If a woman is just calling a guy and calling a guy and calling a guy, is he really straightforward and says, you know what? No, he calls her psycho behind her back. All right, here's what we got. Kelly, are you back? I'm here. All right, Kelly, tell me if you want to help out with this, because this is where, this is what I think we do with this, because I, you know, we're going to go back and forth and should she have said something, whatever. I mean, that's a debate. That's going to be one of those debates that we have that ends in a stalemate. I think what we need to do is we need to step up and help Claire, right? Because Claire is a friend of Melissa's and, you know, came to Melissa with this problem. So we are going to step up, we're going to help Claire, and in helping Claire, we're probably going to help a lot of people around Atlanta, both men and women in the same situation. Yeah. What are we doing? I've got a blank pad in front of me. We've got all of us in the room, we've got Kelly. We're gonna get other listeners to help out. And I think we need to write a Dear Joey letter. So here's like, and this is my thought. And the callers will write the letter line by line. And we will in the end have a two or three paragraph letter that simply says, get away from me, creepy man. And it can also be a dollar. Oh, but does it need to be two or three paragraphs? Come on, one sentence. I'm just not that into you. That will definitely be a line and letter. That's to the point. That will definitely be a line and letter. So, Kelly, think of your line. Well, you know what? That is your line. I'm just not that into you. I'm gonna set the tone with the first line. That's gonna be harsh and it's gonna be attention getting. And that's going to be the tone of this letter. Okay? And then in a couple of paragraphs, we'll have a complete letter bam, ready to go. We'll put it on the Internet. So everybody on the phone should have a sentence to add to the letter? Yes. And we'll go around the room first. I'll start, then Jen, Melissa, and then we'll go to the callers. All right, so first line. Dear Joey, comma, grasp your ears firmly. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass. Your number has already been programmed. Do not answer in my cell phone. That's what comes up when it rings. I. I'm not interested. Do not contact me again. Melissa. And what I mean by again is I never you. No. How did I put it? What I mean by again is you never have a chance with me ever. What I mean by never again is that you never have a chance with me ever. You want ever in caps. Yes. So what are you trying to say? So when you mean by ever, do you mean like six months or eight? No, ever. But there's still a slight chance. Okay, Phil, you got one. Because I don't get it. He's a guy. Oh, I could frame this letter and I'd still be like. So you're trying to say you wrote me a letter, you like me? We'll go. Ready for that? We'll start with line one. Yasmine, give us the next line. I'm going to be very blunt. I didn't like you then, I don't like you now, and I'm not gonna like you in a couple of months from now. Perfect. Good. Very good. Didn't like you then. I'm not gonna be able to type this. We'll have to go back to the tape. I didn't like you then, I don't like you now, and I won't like you in a couple of months from now. Thank you. You're welcome. Jennifer. Joey, I do not want you ever, never contact me again or I will call the police. Let's see, we got to get rid of Larry because he's a guy, and then Drew's got to go, too. Sorry. Katie, you're up. Yeah. Yes. You need to just tell Joey flat out, I'm not interested. Never will be. Don't have any time for you. And my cell phone number will be changed. I like it. Thank you very much. So when you change your cell phone, will you call me and let me know what the new number is? It seems like. You know, Jeff, I don't think that it needs to be a couple paragraphs because I think I'm getting the reoccurring theme. Hey, Drew, you're up. Okay. While your dogged perseverance is flattering, yet a little scary, I am not interested. You know, I would shave that down to I'm not interested. Because when you bring up the flattering part, all he's going to catch is flattering. Hope you're right. And that creates hope. We have to. Yeah, we have to review the letter to make sure there's not one little shining. It was a great suggestion, but you have to, because that. Then you. It's the. The female trap of going back. Backpedaling into being nice. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but. But, I mean, it was flattering so that I'm kind of candy coating it for you, but I don't want to see you from a guy's point of view. When you send this letter, it must be typed out. The general basic text. Don't put any frills in it. Don't put any, like, anything. It must be basic New Times Roman text. Don't even. You sign it. Just print your name. Because if we get a handwritten letter or if we get a letter that's, you know, it looks like you changed the font or the style. I'm gonna take that as. She spent the time to change it, so that means at least she was thinking about me. To make it fun and creative. See the. See and I mean, yeah, don't even print it on a blank sheet of paper. Put it on the back of your phone? Because I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying to enter the mind. Well, it's. It's hard to enter the mind of a guy because it's very small, not much room. And so. And she. And my friend Claire is very attractive. So I have a feeling that this guy is. All he is seeing is, you know. You know, he's attracted to her. Here's an object of affection that I want to conquer. Right. And that he's got his mindset on one thing. Hey, Kelly, you get the next line? Yes. Please do not contact me again and I will not be forced to get a restraining order on. Hey, Roxanna. Yes. My line is, joey, have you ever heard of Lorena Bobbitt? He might see that as an opportunity. So she's thinking about my junk. Exactly. She would have to unzip my pants in order to get there. And there's an opportunity. I can change her mind. All right, let's do. Let's send. You guys have anything else to add in the room? Because if not, we're gonna take. We'll do just two more lines. How does she end it? Is what I want to know. Like the salutation at the end. Goodbye. Because if you say, take care, you know, thank you for your time. Thank you. Yeah. Sincerely. Sincerely. No, no goodbye. What about, here's to never talking to you again. That's good. Like, is that good? Comma. And then click. I like that. Would that work? Is that a good conclusion? Okay, and then. And when you say never, mean never ever or just never right now. You know, we wouldn't. You know what? I'm gonna leave. The whole last paragraph is going to one woman. Nicole. Hey, Nicole. Wrap it up. Okay, this the last line I need to put. I only have three words for you. Joey. No means no. That's what you need to put it. Need to be the last mine. No means no. Perfect. Here's to never talking to you again, comma, Claire. And then just to make sure he really gets it, a P.S. from Vivian. P.S. my jealous ex boyfriend is getting out of jail. The Merck convicted was overturned. He puts it back in the Birch Show. Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here. And hi, I'm Kal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the Iheart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play? You know what? I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth. Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here, listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man. Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not that. Of course he did. Right, Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf. I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile you can can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus? I'm Mrs. Claus's much younger sister and AT T mobile there's no trade in needed when you switch so you can keep your old phone or give it as a gift. And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes. Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber. The holidays are better. AT T Mobile switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trouble. Trade and needed. And now T mobile is available in U S cellular stores with 24 month bill credits for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credits and balance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel finance agreements. 156 gigs830 eligible for in a new line 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com hi, this is Christy from back to the bar. You've probably heard about GLP1 weight loss medications and the side effects that can come with jumping in too fast. That's why I love Noom. Makes getting started easy. Their microdose GLP1 program begins with a smaller dose and gradually scales up on how your body reacts. The Noom GLP1 microdose program starts at $99 and is delivered to your door in seven days. Start your microdose GLP1 journey today at Noom.com that's n o o m dot com Noom micro changes big results. Average weight loss eight pounds in first month. Meds and personalization based on clinical need and not available to all individuals. Medications are not reviewed by FDA for safety, efficacy or quality. Pricing based on first month only. Save over $200 when you book weekly stays with VRBO this winter. If you need to work, why not work from a chalet? If you haven't seen your college besties since, well, college. You need a week to fully catch up in a snowy cabin. And if you have to stay in a remote place with your in laws, you should save over $200 a week. That's the least we can do. So you might as well start digging out the long johns because saving over $200 on a week long snowcation rental is in the cards book now@vrbo.com. Talking just a few minutes ago about this poor guy in California who was rescued, thankfully, luckily. Yeah, that's not the poor part, praise God. Rescued from the raging rivers of the mudslides and the horrible. He didn't have any pants on. Yeah, that's the unlinkering memory is the fact that he was bare. Bare butt. Which leads us to the question, what photo? What film of you do you wish doesn't exist? Hey, is this Anne? Yes. You're up first. Okay, go ahead. Oh. Basically what happened was me and my friends, it was the beginning of our junior year in college and we're all excited. So we get so drunk the first Friday and we're all like taking off our clothes and being ignorant in my friend's apartment. And I have this one idiotic friend walking around with a camera. So we're all drunk, we get these bottles, we turn them up and we start doing this Beyonce dance. And of course there's a clip of me with my boob hanging out. And the next week I show up and it's on a website. And till this day, I cannot get my friend to take it off. I hate it so much. Oh no. What's the website? Jazz. Creepy, creepy uncle Jazz. But she has this picture. She's like, these are my friends, we have lots of fun. And there it is. I'm violating our listeners. All right, thanks for the call, Anne. Hey, Tia. Yeah, go ahead. Well, in my senior, the summer before my senior year in high school, we were three friends and I were going out for a party and we were had a car accident on a stretch of highway in Maryland. And it had been one of those years where everybody that had been in an accident on that road died. And so we had a five car pileup. I was ejected from the car and landed in between a ditch in the road light turned green for the oncoming traffic and a car ran over my leg and so my skirt and stuff went with it. I Mean, I'm fine now, but. So there were all this media came, and here I am laying on the ground and all these pictures of. Were taken. And there was this big article and showed up. And I was 18 years old. And when I was. That was in August. And school up there starts in September. When I went back to school in September, my locker was, like, decoupaged with pictures it had with, you know, the black bar. My butt was hanging out, my thigh was hanging. It was one of those days where you go, I wish I maybe had just died. 18 years old too. But, yeah, for those that missed the story, because you kind of pass right over. But when the. You said the subsequent car hit you, it took with it your skirt and some of your clothes. So when the camera crew showed up after the accident, you had. Yeah. Up in the air. What was still. Oh, you poor thing. And what was still? What was still left on you? Like, what clothes did you have on in the pictures? Weird, because I went out and I kind of skid on the left side of my. On the right side of my body. So the left side of my shirt, like a tank was still on. Like, the top of the tank top came off of one side of my body. And then on my underwear were torn off. So you were. Hat. You were half flashing the whole world half naked. And luckily the TV crew was right there. I'm sorry. Well, I'm glad you're good. A thing about this inner stretch of road, because there weren't enough stoplights there. So there had been three accidents. So that's why the camera crews were there. Fatalities. And they were doing a story. And then here we come, like, on our way up. Party. Oh, I'm sorry. And your friend and I had on clean underwear, and then they went and got ripped off. The good one's gone. Yeah. And shame on your friends. Like, if this was. Are they. Was this in Atlanta or was it. No, you said this was. Yeah, she said it was in Maryland or something, didn't she? Yeah. 18 years old, too. And he said, now, come on, now, you got some sense, even at 18, to not put a decoupage of these pictures on her locker. Will somebody tell me what that is? Decoupage? Yeah. A collage. Yes, A barrage. Why don't you just say decoupage? Sounds like an ad. The only thing that ends in age is just a bunch of pictures glued together. It's just. It's just chaos. Garage. It's a chaos of pictures. Hey, Lil. Hi. Hey. What decoupage do you wish. Does not exist. I absolutely am not into crafts. But anyway, this is kind of a story I'm not too proud of. It was about 20 years ago when I was young in my 20s and I was with my then to be fiance, which I'll preface the story, I did not marry the man, but we were at his cousin's wedding which was in a very small town in the south. And it was kind of the pigs in the blanket kind of, you know, everybody brings something kind of country reception and potluck wedding. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I was in my early 20s and me and one of my, my cousin's wife to be, you know, so the two other fiance's there at the wedding. We were sort of in the background talking about how our wedding was going to be different and I hope our mother in law, you know, sort of keeps out of it and that we can have our own kind of wedding. Well, and you know, not saying such nice things. Well, while this was going on, they were walking around with the camera and saying, you know, say something nice about the couple and wish them well and all of this kind of stuff. And it wasn't until the next day at the out of town brunch where they decided let's play the wedding and let's play the reception. And it was, it was one of my prouder moments. So it was not too good. So you're on there talking crap about the mother in law and she's sitting there watching it. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Oh my God. You know, that was not the reason that we didn't get married. But you know, it did not help. Yeah, I was going to say that it's not earning any points. God. You know, I actually was more just saying about how my wedding was going to be different and how, you know, and I didn't want the country potluck dinner. I wanted, you know, all the nice things but the other sister in law was saying more, you know, I sort of got off a little bit better because I didn't say something directly about her. You screwed up. But. But yeah, I'm pretty much screwed up. Yeah. Thanks for the call. That's one of those. You just want to like melt into the floor. Let me just disappear into the floor right now. My butt would go numb and fall off. Hey, Tracy. Yeah. Hey, you're on. Hey. About eight years ago I got married and my husband and I decided to make a fun little sex video for his birthday, his 25th birthday. And so we lose the video. We had borrowed his parents camera and we Lose the video for about a year. His father was a Southern Baptist preacher. Oh, God. So we, a year later, find the video, and I take the video home because it's labeled Tracy's baptism. And I'm thinking, I'm taking my baptism video home because his father baptized me at the church. I go home and put it in. It was my baptism, but immediately afterward, it was the sex video. And so his father had the video for a year. And his father periodically would watch all of the videos he had. So we know he saw it. Now, which is grosser. The fact that you put a sex tape on your baptism or. Or you wonder if he. If he turned the tape off as soon as he saw what it was, or if he kept watching, or if a Southern Baptist daddy kept watching. And then he. Then he asked for forgiveness for his sins. Or that. Or. Oh. Or that it inspired him to. I want to know. See his wife. I want to know. I want to know what you were thinking putting a sex tape on the back end of your baptism. No, the baptism came afterward. Oh. So how did that still. How do they get on the same tape? We accidentally returned the camera to him with the tape in it. With the second tape in it. And so then later, I get baptized, like six months later or whatever. You got to be drunk that tape and records on it not knowing what it is. How do you forget the tape in the camera? That sounds funny. I mean, really. Well, you won't do that again. It was my fault. I think it was my husband's fault. Of course. I was 18 years old when I got married, and so it was for my husband's birthday, and I was nervous. Anyway, I blamed him for losing the tape. Is he still your husband? I'm sorry? Is he still your husband? He is. Okay, well, have fun at the next family reunion. Yeah. Yes. Cause your father in law send you naked? Not only naked. Hey, Matt. Getting baptized. That's right. So to speak. How are you? I'm pretty good. How's it going? Good. Go ahead with your story. All right. Well, me and some friends were drinking one night over at my friend's apartment complex. And when we get drunk, we like to just, like, walk around. And we were walking, and we saw this car wash. And I looked in my pocket and I found 50 cents. And my friend was like, it's only 50 cents for the vacuum cleaner there. I was like, all right. He's like, well, I bet you won't stick your junk in it. Oh, geez. Me being drunk, thinking like, all right, whatever. Sounds like a great idea. Sounded good. At the time. I was thinking, yeah, I'm gonna get some nothing. And her name is Mrs. Hoover. I turn on the vacuum, and my friend pulls out his camera phone. I'm not really paying attention. Takes a couple quick pictures with the camera phone while I'm standing there, like, holding the vacuum on. And then he decided to go back and upload all the pictures and put them on all these websites and tell everybody that it was me. And I think the worst part is that I was wearing a really ugly sweater. And now everyone associates me with this sweater. They look right past my whole penis and vacuum and straight to this ugly sweater. So I know. Use a hoover. So I know all the. The guys want to know. So I'll ask it for him. Did it work? It. It didn't feel that good, but it didn't feel that bad. Well, I don't know. For being drunk, I've had worse. God bless your honesty. Thanks for the call, Matt. Thanks, man. Right. The Birch show. Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe. This thing weighs a ton. Drewy, lift with your legs, man. Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you, Bridget. I'm not that. Of course he did. Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf. I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus? I'm Mrs. Claus's much younger sister. And AT T Mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone or give it as a gift. And the best part, you can make this switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes. Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber. The holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. 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Meds and personalization based on clinical need and not available to all individuals. Medications are not reviewed by FDA for safety, efficacy or quality. Pricing based on first month only. Looking for a last minute gift for your people? You know, your people, that weird bunch of friends and family that you love dearly. Well, here's an easy idea. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratchits. Because your people, they're the ones that, amidst all the holiday crowds and endless notifications, help you find the fun, which calls for a little gift that brings big cheer. Oregon Lottery Holiday scratchets. You know where to find them. Grab some today. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. All right. Frankly, I am surprised that this phone call that we took yesterday was more controversial. I just didn't think that there would be much of a debate here. Right. But Jan Hobby really showed how superficial she was yesterday. I thought, well, and Jeff Dollar too. I wasn't the only one that felt this way. And you thought I was being totally a hypocrite on it. Totally. You said that I would totally react differently. Yeah. I think if this happened to you in real life, you would react differently than you did yesterday. See, my thinking is like, guys don't think that far in advance. Like, we wouldn't be thinking of our future, baby. We'd just be more upset by the past, just not knowing, not being educated on what happened to our woman in the past. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't agree with that because I think that would be one of the first things I would think of, really would be like, now you're jacking up my family. You know, like, I would just, it would be like, you're screwing up my bloodline. It would be like buying, you know, the perfect classic, you know, 65 Mustang Red, there's a car comparison. But then the whole thing is, you know, just patched up with Bondo. Like, I would just be bummed. It's like it's not the real thing. See, to me, like I said, the bigger Offense is not knowing what happened over the last year, that they didn't come clean in that relationship because they've been going out for a year, that they didn't tell them this major overhaul that they had. Right. Well, we, we don't, we're not even really explaining what the phone call's about. We shouldn't because it's explained in the whole thing. Oh, okay. Good morning, Erin. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hello. I've been dating a guy for about a year. We've even talked about marriage. And I've met his parents before, but I never really went home. He's from Colorado, so we went home for the holiday and they just got their new snow, you know, people were starting to ski, stuff like that. And we had a great time. And it was that day, you know, everybody's eating the turkey, drinking a little, and I'm watching him with his family for the first time. Met his sister and I was noticing, you know, he's a good looking guy, you know, would be my boyfriend. I love him. And he looks bit. A little, little different or actually a lot different than a lot of the members of his family. So he goes out, I guess it's after they've been skiing and then they go to the movie. I guess they went to see Ray or something, I don't know. And I decided to stay home with the sister and the mom. You know, we were bonding. So they start whipping out the photo album. He's, you know, the baby pictures, you know, the naked baby pictures, all that stuff. And then we get into the ones where he's like in his 20s and they're like pointing to him and I'm like, what? He does not look like anything that he looked like. And this is in his 20s and stuff. Pictures of him in college with his, with his friends and stuff. So what's different? Everything. My God, he looks like frankly dumbo in one of the pictures. His ears are sticking out, his nose is funny. He just does not look like the man that I'm going out with. I don't understand. Why does that turn you off so much? He obviously grew out of it. No. Or he had surgery. Okay, we're all drinking. I don't know what this was about, but she says it's amazing what they can do today. Oh, he's a surgeon. I said, what do you mean? And I mean, look, I don't know. I don't know what he did. I don't care what he did. He's like, totally must have done everything. He must have been, like, on one of those Nip tuck shows or something. I don't know. So does that bother you? Yeah, it does. Because you know what happens? I mean, I'm not the. You know, I'm not Christy Brinkley, but I'm, you know, a reasonably very attractive girl. And I started thinking about kids. I mean, if the guy I'm dating and thinking of marrying looks like this now, but looked like that, then what's gonna happen? I mean, his ears were sticking out. He looks like his chin's different, his nose. I don't even want to go into what he must have done. My God. So you don't want to have an ugly kid, Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Might sound a little vain, but he looks hideous. So you're so turned off by what he looked like before the surgery that you would seriously consider not going out with this girl? Yeah, I don't know how to get away from it because, like, first of all, it's not just the. The. It's not just, you know, the kids. It's somebody who went through all that. So it's the mentality of it also, that's bothering you. Well, who would do that? Well, there's a lot of women that do that. Do you think the guy should? Well, of course, the guy probably wouldn't be as turned off, but, I mean, it's the same. I mean, so many women like that. It's usually boobs or something. But what I'm saying is, like, I mean, is it fair for you not to. I mean, would you criticize a woman for that and think a guy shouldn't marry her because of what she looks like now? Well, I just don't know if they should be doing that much. I don't. Oh, God. But a guy wouldn't look at a woman and go, look, I'm not gonna. I don't want to have children with her because I want my child to have big boobs, and she obviously doesn't. And she got the surgery done, but you're looking at this guy and you're like, he was so completely different looking and somebody you're not attracted to and frankly, kind of ugly that you'd be nervous that your child would grow up to look like him. Yeah. And also that somebody would go through that. I'm really weirded out by all this weird surgery. Did you say anything to him? No. He doesn't know I'm home early. He's still in. Well, I don't know. No, I would kill my family. Like, I mean, come on, don't, don't. Don't let your family block you from, you know, having a happy life with somebody. Did you confront him on this? No, I haven't told him yet. Oh, no. You know, I have to almost like embarrassingly admit I get her point on the kid thing. Like, I get it. Come on now. I would think this. I can understand that. I would think the same thing. I'd be like, oh, well, my kids are gonna have to have plastic surgery when they grow up. Kids jeans come from so many places. Have you, have you seen your own family? I mean, have you seen like, grandparents and stuff? I mean, there's. I, I don't know if one person. I don't know, I. That's just kind of mean, I think. What kind of advice are you looking for? Do you, do you dump them or not? I want to know how to. Yeah, I need to get out of this. So you're out. So you're already thinking it's over. Oh, for me it is. Yeah. I gotta get out of this. Look, if you're that vain about it, and you obviously don't love this man as much as you think you do, because, I mean. No, I do, but when I found out he was being fake with me, I think it's told me. I think it's almost valid because he has misled her. Oh, you're kidding. No, he has misled her. It's like going out with somebody and there's so much more to somebody. Every time they pull up, every time they pull up to pick you up, they're in a Mercedes and they're wearing their nice, you know, Armani suit and everything's cool and everything's great. But then once you find out you're, you know, they're $50,000 in credit card debt, they're living in a studio apartment, you know, but if that's what you're looking for, if she, if you were looking for a good looking guy so you can have good looking children, then, okay, this is not the guy for you. If that you're that shallow, then you need to get out. There's so much shallow. No, it's not. There's so much more to a person you hope than just their looks. It would be a trust factor thing for you, Bert. You're Mr. Trust. And if you had been dating somebody for that long and they didn't tell you about that part of their life and all of a sudden you found out about it, I guess so you would Feel like you couldn't trust them because they weren't honest with you. Well, that argument, to me is more valid than Jess. Like that one. If we've been going out with each other for a year, at least let me know. What? That this is a pretty big part of your past. Same argument. And it's like the whole reason you have it done is so that you don't have to tell somebody about how you grew up. Everybody making fun of you. But if you're gonna go spray your sperm around, you're telling. But now he's been made fun of probably his whole life, to the point that he wanted to have that surgery. And now his potential fiance is gonna leave him for the very same thing. I think it's valid. I don't see it as valid, though. Absolutely. I see it as nothing more than just having a discussion. Like, this is something you should have shared with me. Me? How? Certainly not like, this is not end of the relationship. But how? Think of it. You had married me. I'm sorry I cut you off. But if you had been with a woman and decided you were gonna marry her, and then you found out that she had had God knows how much reconstructive surgery, that she never looked like the woman you fell in love with, you would feel betrayed. And you would. Second of all, you would think about your kid. Yes, you would. You totally would. I gotta be honest with you. I wouldn't feel as bad betrayed as you're making out it out to me. I really would. Really? Yeah. And you wouldn't think, like, oh, my gosh, I'm gonna have totally different gene pool than I thought I was dealing with here? Wow. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. It doesn't feel like that strong to me. No. Good morning, Amy. You're on the Burt Show. Hi. Hi. I just want. I think there's a lot more to it than what she's saying. I think she wants out for other reasons. Because if she really deeply loves the sky, love is blind. Right? You don't see this stuff. Plus, it's about talking about having kids and stuff. I don't care what your kids look like. They're beautiful to you. It doesn't matter. I think there's a lot more to it than what she's letting on. I think it's just an exciting. Jen, though Jen is saying, yeah, there's something to it. I think there's something to that. Oh, my God. I do. I. You know, it's. It's not like, you know, totally PC to Say so, but I would legitimately be bummed about the future prospect of children. Because it's very important to you that your children are good looking. No, because you're just misled by that. You're like, you know, you're attracted to someone physically. That's what initiates any relationship. Because of your physical attraction to somebody. And then to realize that that physical attraction's not. I mean, we're talking about a major overhaul of this guy, right, Aaron? Yeah. How much are we talking about, like, what did he have done? Oh, I wouldn't even know. I mean, it's like his chin was different, his nose is different. His ears were, like, lowered from the pictures at the. They were sticking out his, like, his, like, eyebrow. I mean, everything. It just looks like he had cheekbones. He looks different. He looks like a completely different person. Now. Did you investigate with the family or did you just. They just said, oh, they can do a lot of work. Because if I'm in. That's what she said. If I'm in that situation, I'm like, oh, really? I'd be like, really? So what? You know, like, oh, yeah, that's true. I didn't ask any questions. And it's not just about the looks. Look, I really like him. I love him. I really like him. No, no. I mean, I like the family. I'm sorry. I'm like, so upset. All these people. I just. I really love him. But this is just so. Just like, took me by such a loop. I think we have two different arguments here. And there's the one argument about feeling betrayed that something so important happened to him or he had something so big done to him that he didn't have any conversation with her about that in the year that they were with each other. And the second conversation, the second argument is, does this really affect how I look at the guy? Because now I'm looking to our future and I'm afraid I'm going to have ugly kids. So do you think, Melissa, that once. It's in the past, it's in the past and if you meet them after it's done with, you don't have to deal with it. I just feel like if you. Unless they have herpes. Well, my. Well, even. Okay, well, that's my thought. I love somebody. If I let. Well, I'm answering your question. If I love somebody, then I'm gonna love them regardless of, you know, like, if they came to me and said, you know what? In years past, Melissa, I had this done and this done and this done, I'm not gonna break up with them because of it. But if let's. Now, let me throw this at you. Let's say that something weird happens, and Superman flies around the globe and it starts spinning the other way. And you're attracted to men, and you're gonna have a child with a man. Right. In the past, he battled some hereditary disease. Does he have no obligation to tell you that disease before you have children with him? Well, I think there's a difference between a kid having a debilitating disease and a big nose ugliness is a debilitating disease. You and I have done all right with it. Right? But it's been toug. Like, I should be allowed to park close to the mall. That's all I'm saying. They should have ugly people spots. Right? Good morning, Christy. You're on the bird show. Hi. I just wanted to let her know that, like Melissa was saying, he is not the only one that's gonna be making this baby. She's gonna be involved in this as well. It's a DNA story. There are a lot of couples that make babies, and they can be two ugly parents and have beautiful kids, and they can be two ugly parents. I mean, she needs to stop being so shallow, because obviously this man doesn't deserve her. And 1. He needs to be able to explain his story to her because she's, you know, she's at this family function when she's just now meeting the family. She has no idea what's going on. And people do grow up. She's seeing pictures from the twenties. Years ago. Years ago. Yeah. But I still think he should have said something. And haven't you guys known those parents that have. That is the spinning image of only one parent. Yeah. Look at Billy Joel. Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, they had two kids, and I think. Did they have two or just the one? They had one. The daughter one just looks just like Billy Joel. Yeah. Christie Brinkley. So Billy Joel should not have been able to impregnate Christie Brinkley because he was too ugly for her. Right. That wasn't a DNA soup. That was a halfway. I don't know what to tell you, Aaron. You're on your own here. You got takes from both sides. Why? You know what? Nobody ever call us for advice, ever, because all we do is we debate it, and then we end up 50. 50. We're like, be on with your. Go. Go on with yourself. And you're on your own at that. So that was yesterday on the show, and now you guys are starting to Call up our. Nicole's back. Hey, Nicole, what's going on? Hey, are you working now? I definitely agree with, with Jen on this one. And the reason that I agree with her is because it's the fact that he's hiding something. It's the fact that he did not come out and tell her. If he would have came out and told her, that's one thing. But it's been this long that they've been together and he didn't tell her. I see what she. With the kids and wanting pretty kids. Everybody want pretty kids. You know what I'm saying? Everybody wants that. But some kids that are beautiful have screwed up names. So you really, you know, you can't help that. But I mean, I really think that he should have went and told her. If it was finances, will we look at the situation any differently if he was just high and they had all this debt and didn't say anything to her and she found out through the sister that he was 7 and 8 or, you know, $50,000 in debt, it wouldn't be any different. A lie is still a lie. He's still hiding something that, you know, he should have wanted. Well, to, to me, the better comparison, though, is if he used to be in terrible debt, then he fixed it. Is he obligated to tell her how bad his debt was in the past? He fixed it now. If it's still existing enough that it could affect their future, which it could be if it goes to bankruptcy, then that's going to affect. He tweaked his looks to make it better. He fixed his debt. Is he supposed to bring up his entire past in a year in a relationship, tell them everything he's ever done? Yes, if it affects him in the future. Because what if he didn't learn how to, to, you know, correct his debt issues? Or if he's still not good with, I think, the fact that he was just hiding something. Not even that. What if. What if. What if the fact. What if they had he had a car repossessed or a house foreclosed on and 15 years down the road he goes to buy a house and the people look at him and say, yeah, we gotta charge you a higher interest rate. Well, now from experience that 15 years later it'd be wiped off. But anyway, you know, I just think that. No, but what I'm talking about is he fixed the debt. It's not, you know, so that's, that's just, to me, the similar comparison. See, I just think it's, it's the Misleading thing. Yeah. That's what's bothering you so much? Yeah, that's what's bothering me more than anything else is that. Yeah, he wasn't honest with her. Obviously if it was that much reconstructive surgery and that much overhaul, it would have been a big point in his life and him not revealing that. I mean, after a couple of months I could see, but after a year and you're bringing your girlfriend home to mom and dad, you know, you're bringing him home to the sister and the, you know, you don't think that's going to come out before you bring somebody home. He didn't think that if they were going to see the pictures, he didn't think, you know, leaving her at home with the mom and the sister that the pictures weren't going to come up. Come on now, everybody know that. Everybody know that when you take somebody home, they're going to bring out the embarrassing photos. Everybody knows that. But usually they're done with you around and it's done making fun of what you look like when you were a kid. Good morning, Diane. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hey. I just don't understand why she's so offended either. And I got to tell you, the whole, you know, so he had big ears and a big nose. It's not something he wants to wear around on his shirt sleeve and say, hey, guess what? I think I should tell you before we decide to have kids that I had big ears and a big nose, for heaven's sake. And I gotta tell you, my boyfriend, just so Jen knows, my boyfriend is just. I think he's just an extremely attractive guy. Very attractive. Seen pictures of his ex wife who is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. They have the most ugly 14 year old child I've ever seen in my life. It does happen, man. It does happen. We've all seen it. You know, great looking parents have ugly kids and it goes the other way too. Ugly parents, like sometimes look at these dorky parents and they've got beautiful children. That's the balance of life right there. What God gives you in one area, he takes in another. The Birch Show. Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Live with your legs, man. Santa. Santa, did you get my letter? He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not. Of course he did. Right, Santa? You know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list. And elf. I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile. You can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies, right Mrs. Claus I'm Mrs. Claus's much younger sister and AT T Mobile there's no trade in needed when you switch, so you can keep your old phone or give it as a gift. And the best part? You can make the switch to T Mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes. Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber the holidays are better. AT T Mobile switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T Mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge. Credit sentinel balance due if you pay off earlier. 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