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Jeff
Right.
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Burt
Purch the Birch show so we're asking you what has your ex boyfriend kind of held for ransom in order to keep the relationship going? Good morning Penny. You're on all the hits.
Caller 1
Q100 it wasn't, it wasn't an ex boyfriend. It was my ex wife.
Melissa
Uh huh.
Caller 1
Yes. We had a commitment ceremony. We bought a. We purchased a boat together and it was a $47,000 boat and it's somewhere in Lake Allatoona. And she told me that if I don't go back out with her and have dinner with her after four years that yeah. That I can just, I'll never find the boat.
Burt
Yeah, that's, that's serious ransom. That's like Leaving you, like pictures of her on the boat in all these different lakes, going, here's where we are now. You'll never see this boat again.
Caller 1
It was a bad relationship anyways.
Melissa
But of course, because now it's over.
Caller 1
Melissa, I want to tell you, I flew all the way to New York to see Bette Miller. Oh, she was awesome.
Melissa
I can't wait.
Caller 1
Awesome concert. And Burt.
Burt
Yes.
Caller 1
Don't say that. It's the. You know, the old stuff. No, she. She's a. She's kick.
Melissa
Let me tell you.
Burt
She's kick.
Melissa
Let me tell you what Bert said off air.
Caller 1
Can I say kick ass.
Jeff
Oh, yeah.
Melissa
Let me tell you what Bert said off air. He gave. He put her just one step above. Just one step above Celine Dion.
Burt
Somewhere wedged between. If. If Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion had a child, it would be Bette Midler.
Melissa
Than both of them.
Burt
I'm sorry, I just don't see it.
Co-host/Producer
Is the Bette Midler draw a gay thing?
Melissa
No. I mean, I talent thing for me. If a lot of gay people there. A lot of gay people are there.
Burt
I'd say, But I mean, does she have the same following as Cher does in the gay community?
Melissa
I'll find out Sunday night.
Burt
Okay.
Caller 1
I think she does.
Jeff
Yeah.
Caller 1
All right, guys, you take care.
Burt
You too.
Caller 1
All right. Bye.
Commercial Announcer
Bye.
Burt
Bye bye.
Co-host/Producer
Hey, Melissa, if you can find this woman's ex girlfriend or wife or whatever and get yourself a boat, she'll sell.
Burt
It to you cheap.
Co-host/Producer
Just throwing it out there.
Burt
Morning, Erica, you're on all the hits. Q100.
Caller 1
Well, I just recently broke it off with an ex boyfriend of mine, two years, and he has decided that if he can't be with me, then he's gonna leave the country.
Burt
Okay, so what do you have to lose? Yeah, that's bad news because.
Well, I.
Caller 1
Guess, you know, now I have the reputation of having someone leave the country, not come back.
Burt
Oh, I think that's bragging rights more than anything else. He was so in love with me, he could not only be in the same city or the same state. This man had to flee the country.
Melissa
Oh, if somebody was upset over me and left Atlanta, I mean, come on, am I gonna be upset?
Burt
That's a bad negotiation on the guy's part. He wasn't thinking very well. There you go. Get back with me. I'm going to. I am going to move as far away from you as possible.
Caller 1
Okay, well, he pretended that he left four days ago. I'm talking to him online. Ten minutes later, walks through My front door.
Jeff
Oh, no.
Caller 1
He pretended he left to say, well, maybe, you know, she's going to come back to me, all this kind of stuff. Well, no, no, no. He's really leaving tomorrow.
Co-host/Producer
Oh, my God.
Caller 1
For real leaving?
Jeff
Tom?
Burt
Let me get this whole thing straight. You and he break up. He makes the stupid negotiation of threatening you that because the breakup was so bad that if you don't get back together, he's gonna move really far away from you. And then when you say, I'm sorry, it's just not gonna work out. He thinks somehow that if he's talking to you online, that you're gonna come around and he walks through your door thinking you've changed your mind in four days.
Caller 1
Well, yeah, he expected me to be, like, fall into his arms, like, oh, God, you know, thank God you're here and you didn't leave. You know, something like that.
Melissa
It's amazing how fast people lose their cool when they get dumped. You know? It's just amazing how they think that. Yeah. That in four days, all of a sudden, she's gonna come to her senses and decide she wants to be with him the rest of her life.
Caller 1
Oh, no, no, no. I got proposed to two days ago.
Burt
Same dude.
Caller 1
Yeah. I decided, you know, he came back. Okay. You know, we can. We can do this. We can, you know, go see a movie, hang out, you know, just as friends. No, no, no, no, no. We get back and I'm trying to leave because I figured, okay, that's it. You know, gotta go home. Gotta, gotta, you know, calm down. And he's proposing to me.
Co-host/Producer
Let me tell you about the two kinds of friends that guys have. They have sex partners and potential sex partners. So there's no just being friends with him.
Melissa
Yeah. That's a whole other topic.
Commercial Voice
Wow.
Burt
It really is. All right. Thank you for calling.
Caller 1
Thank you.
Burt
Bye. Bye. Morning. All the hits.
Melissa
What I was gonna say, since this topic is ransom. Now, if he had taken something of hers outside of the country with them, that would have been smarter for her to contact him. But he didn't even do that.
Burt
Good morning.
Caller 1
My cousin and his girlfriend broke up, and she had this dog that she just. The dog loved her and she loved the dog. So out of vengeance and trying to keep her, he thought he'd take the dog and hold it.
Burt
Yeah. You hear this kind of thing, like in marriages all the time that break up, like in the divorce papers, in the settlement, like, he'll keep the dog or she'll keep the dog. That. That she knows that he loves so Much. Just to be spiteful. All about it.
Caller 1
Well, then he tried to give her back the dog at the time, and she went and bought another dog. So he got stuck with the dog.
Jeff
Serves him right.
Burt
That's a great way to come.
Jeff
It was probably like one of those poodles that's, you know.
Co-host/Producer
It'S a dog that he has no business being seen in public. Right.
Burt
Good morning, John.
Michael Keaton
Hey, I got solution for your friend with a ticket.
Burt
Okay.
Michael Keaton
Why doesn't. Why don't you have her meet her ex for a light bite before the show, but bring her own date with her?
Commercial Voice
Oh.
Burt
That'S good.
Michael Keaton
There is no way faster to get through to an ex than to show up with your own date.
Melissa
Yeah, but is that. Yeah, that's true. But is that fair to the new date, though? Like, the new dad has to sit there in between the two. Like, my suggestion was for her to happen, meet up, you know, set a meeting with him, but have somebody else show up and get the ticket. Like a friend or something. Show up without her to get the tickets. Because I don't know.
Michael Keaton
I mean, it's not a date, though. It doesn't have the same sting. And, you know, she needs to go on the offensive instead of being defensive about it. You know, that's the only way to get rid of some of these people.
Co-host/Producer
She could do. She could do the smart thing and stay home and carve things into her skin instead of going to see Ben.
Burt
All right, Jon. See you later, man. Show Michael Keaton of Beetlejuice fame and also Pacific Heights and Batman. My life. Mr. Mom gonna join us here any second.
Co-host/Producer
Just so you know, when he calls that if this comes. If this comes up. I didn't give you a time, but they said, okay, Michael Keaton's gonna join you in a minute. You've got two to three minutes.
Burt
Two to three minutes.
Co-host/Producer
Yeah.
Burt
Wow.
Co-host/Producer
But I didn't tell you that we.
Burt
Got a two to three minute interview with Michael Keaton.
Co-host/Producer
Take as long as you want. That's. I'm just saying that because if we're in the middle of somebody who's like, yeah, I found this great website. There's all naked people doing all kind. And then you suddenly have to go to Michael Keaton quickly. That's just.
Jeff
That's why Dan skip the whole introducing everybody on the show that takes two or three minutes.
Melissa
Right?
Burt
We wouldn't have even agreed to do the interview if we knew it was only gonna be 120 seconds long.
Co-host/Producer
Here's how we can either make it Exciting you can do. We challenge you to actually do an interview in three minutes or less.
Burt
I can't do. I can't. No, there's no challenge. I can't do it. I can't even say the Burt show on all the hits. Q100 in two minutes.
Jeff
This is Melissa.
Melissa
Melissa, say hi.
Jeff
This is Jen. Jen, why don't you say Hi? That takes three minutes right there.
Burt
We got 13 members of the on it.
Co-host/Producer
Hey, Michael, we're gonna play Beetlejuice for you now. And when you hear a spot that you thought you could have done better, why don't you tell us to stop and then reenact that spot?
Burt
Hey there. Michael Keaton. How are you today?
Michael Keaton
I'm well.
Burt
How are you? We're doing good. I want to let you know something right off the bat, though, okay? We are. We are a chatty. We are a wordy morning show, and we just found out from your people that we only have, like, three minutes with you. So I am going to.
I am going to put the end of this interview in your hands. You tell us when you're done.
Michael Keaton
When you say chatty.
Burt
Yes.
Michael Keaton
Are you making good use of your words, or are you good with the language?
Burt
I would define chatty for you, but it would take me seven minutes.
Michael Keaton
Don't do that. It's like me emailing. The other day, my assistant just bought me a Palm Pilot where you text message people. I just got done working on Herbie with Lindsay Lohan. You cannot believe how quickly she can email or text message people. Her little thumbs are just flying. It took me. I timed myself. It took me about 14 minutes.
Burt
We've got the same thing here, like, intern Jen. You have to be, like, 24 years old or younger to have that gene.
Michael Keaton
You know, I am a Luddite.
Burt
Michael Keaton, joining the Burt show on all the hits. Q100. So, Michael, when you want this interview to be over, you tell us our time is up or we're just gonna keep going.
Michael Keaton
Okay, I'm pretty much done. Thank you very much.
Burt
Very nice talking to you. Very nice talking to you. I think the first thing that I would. I would really like to ask you, because we only have nine seconds left.
Michael Keaton
Okay.
Burt
Is like, I thought that with the whole Batman legacy, I thought that when you signed on to be Batman, you were gonna be Batman for 19 different movies, like the 007 franchise.
Michael Keaton
Right.
Burt
And I'm just curious, did you back out of that?
Michael Keaton
Yeah, it was not good. It was not a good script. And I said, hey, I'll do the third one, but we got to redo the script and, you know, interestingly, and I predict this next one will be good because there's a lot of really talented people involved. But interestingly, what they're doing in this one is what I suggested for the third one. I said, I don't think this script is well written personally, and I know the writer is a good writer, but I thought, this is not good. Let's just work on it. And I thought it was more interesting to go back and do more of a prequel. And that's apparently what they're doing in this one. And I'll bet you this is good. Not for that reason, but I just have a feeling that it'll be quite good. But anyway, it wasn't good. And I said, I want to go on to do some other things.
Melissa
Now, I know in Hollywood every actor has to be respectful of other actors, but was there any kind of, you know, secret satisfaction when they kept talking about how George Clooney killed Batman?
Michael Keaton
No, I think, I think what happened was George said that.
Burt
He did.
Commercial Voice
He said.
Michael Keaton
He said. And I've never heard this, but my friends, people have told me and George, you know, I know him, but we've never talked about that. According to my friends, DC has told people he said, Michael Keaton, clearly the best Batman, he knows how to do it. I single handedly destroyed it, which was not true. He's a very charming cat.
Burt
Did you sit down and watch the other Batman movies?
Michael Keaton
Honestly, I've never seen him. Now, I did poke my head in. I was at a multiplex once and it was playing down the hall, so I don't know what I was seeing, but I went down to poke my head in and I just, I just, it's not out of any kind of vengeance. I just had no real interest. If somebody would have told me, God, this thing's brilliant, I probably would have got to see it. But I didn't hear that.
Burt
I didn't go talking to Michael Keaton on the Burch show on all the hits. Q100.
Jeff
Beetlejuice is one of my favorite characters ever. And I have to know from you, will there be a sequel? Would you take that role if there was a sequel?
Michael Keaton
You know what? You know what? You guys should start. I'm dead serious about this. You should start a groundswell because that, you should start promoting that idea. Because I'm telling you, first of all, it's a guaranteed money maker for them. And also, it's one of the only things I'd like to do. I get bored real quick doing things, so I like to move on. I just had so much fun doing that. And I think we only scratched the surface. So I would that movie again. If Tim Burton would produce it, I would love to do it again.
Co-host/Producer
Who do we call for that? Because I've never started Groundswell.
Michael Keaton
You call 1-800-Groundswell.
Jeff
I think you technically to Lindsay Lohan.
Burt
That'S how you started, you know, and looking back at your movie career, you've done so many great movies and it's so easy to tell by your resume. Like, you really love stretching yourself in these different roles.
Michael Keaton
Yeah.
Burt
What do you want? Like the one movie, I mean, in, in 130 years when you're not around anymore and only your movies are left. What is the one movie you want people to look at for Michael Keaton as the legacy that he left behind.
Michael Keaton
Wow, that's a. There's something I never thought of. Honestly, I. I. Nuts as this may sound, it might be Beetlejuice. Because I think what my goal has always been, you know, originality is really hard to come by for many of us. And something that's totally, truly artistic and original is really tough. And I think that movie is truly a piece of art because look at the other people involved in it and Tim Burton, and there was nothing like it. So maybe as an artist, I would want to look back and go, you know that. But. But besides that, I honestly, I can't think of probably that one, I guess.
Burt
Well, I think Beetlejuice is a pretty satisfying answer for all of us.
Melissa
Absolutely. And, you know, you said how you get bored easily. I'm curious because I'm really excited about White Noise because I think the subject matter is fascinating. What about that, you know, attracted you to do this movie?
Michael Keaton
Well, you know, I do and I do. There aren't that many.
The irony is I have tons of interest. And that's one reason I, you know, don't work that much. And I'm off doing other things that I'm interested in. But I really wanted to go back to work, but only in something that interested me. And when I read this, I thought it was just one of the better written things I'd seen and really unusual and totally different from other things that I've seen out there. Not only read, but movies that I've seen. And especially in this genre. It's kind of a thinking man's version of this genre and very scary. But I thought, well, this will never happen because I'll never find the right Director. And then they sent this guy over from England to talked to us, and he had a great take on it. And I just thought it was really.
Literally, legitimately frightening and made you really think. I was on the Today show with Katie Couric the other day, and she went on and on about how much she was, how enthusiastic and how interested she was in this film and the subject matter and how much she liked it. And Dr. Phil did the same thing when I was on there. So it's making people talk because this phenomenon that I guess, is starting to pop up.
Burt
I've always wondered, like, when you're working on a scary movie like this, even though you know what's coming up while you're shooting it, it's in the script, do you still get scared as hell when things are happening on the set that you're acting in?
Michael Keaton
Well, you know, you're talking to a guy who gets scared, like certain kinds of cheeses.
So. No. No, honestly. Honestly, it's hard for me to get scared in movies when I see them. Even as a kid, it really took a lot to scare me. But I come from a big family. There were seven of us. And I took great pleasure in scaring everyone in my family. I loved scaring people and being scared. But I never would see movies that scared me very much. And I thought this had the potential. Exorcist scared me, and Rosemary's Baby scared. And Poltergeist was pretty scary. But this, I thought, was not only scary, it was like kind of a good mystery in the thriller.
Jeff
Do you think that we can get messages from the other side? Because it's kind of what I would.
Michael Keaton
Have told you, you know, before I started this film. No, I never even heard of this. I don't even know what people are talking about. I think it's just a good idea for a movie. It turns out this goes way, way back. There's an article I don't think I'm reviewing myself, but there's an article in the London Mail, I believe. And there's all these little articles popping up all over the place about an awareness of this. And this thing dates way, way, way, way, way back. They've got recordings of people. I mean, so they claim, you know, and then I. It is really, really interesting. And after reading this article yesterday, I had to do a whole rethink about it. I had a really. Because it was verified by respected scientists that there is something that comes across that they can't explain. They have recordings of Gregorian monks going way, way back. And hear voices in them that they can't explain.
Commercial Announcer
Wow.
Jeff
Wow.
Burt
The name of the movie is White Noise. It starts. When does it start, Michael?
Caller 1
Tomorrow.
Burt
Starts tomorrow with Michael Keaton. Your people are buzzing our cell phone big time. So we gotta let you go or we'll never get an interview again. Very, very good talking to you, Michael Keaton. Thank you very much for joining us. Oh, yeah, good talking to you. Bye now. The Burt show.
Commercial Voice
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Michael Keaton
Zoey. This thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.
Commercial Announcer
Santa.
Ashley
Santa, did you get my letter?
Michael Keaton
He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not.
Commercial Voice
Of course he did.
Michael Keaton
Right, Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here.
Burt
He handles the nice list.
Michael Keaton
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Burt
What does it give?
Commercial Voice
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Jeff
Nice.
Michael Keaton
My side of the tree is slipping.
Commercial Voice
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Burt
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Michael Keaton
Yeah, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
Burt
Payment of $45 for 3 month plan.
Commercial Voice
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Commercial Announcer
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Burt
I don't think we can possibly understand the frustration of a commuter that has to commute every single day. Like when we put this vent line up, I mean, first it was kind of a joke cause Melissa said she was dealing with road rage. But I mean, people have taken this very, very seriously.
Melissa
Well, I mean, it is a serious thing because, you know, I definitely am a different person behind the wheel of a car if I get stuck in traffic and I can just see it.
Jeff
Like the horns come out. Like, Melissa's so nice and sweet and diplomatic all the time. She gets in there and it's like.
Melissa
The fangs come out. I turn into a sailor. I cuss like one. I shake my fist. I, you know, do the whole hand motion. Like, what are you thinking? You know, the whole thing.
Commercial Voice
Yeah.
Melissa
Like you said though, I get in traffic every so often. People every single day, they know when they get up they're going. I mean, they plan their morning accordingly. And when they. And they plan the time they get out of the office based totally on traffic just to get stuck in it.
Burt
There's some kind of comfort factor about being in your own car. Like for some reason you think that you can do anything and you forget the fact that somebody can get out of their car with a bat and smash your window and get right into you.
Melissa
Right.
Burt
But here's the traffic phone line, the traffic hotline phone number. It's 404-25-53. 5, 3, 5. And like I said, most messages that we get, we gotta beep out because people are pretty upset sitting in traffic.
Michael Keaton
When you speed up to go around.
Caller 1
Somebody, you don't slow down. When you get back in front of them, it's not hard to do. You maintain the speed. You don't put on your brakes. Next message. Are you kidding me? 35 miles an hour. Entering Georgia 400 ruler.
Next message. There's some city at the light.
Michael Keaton
Won't move.
Caller 1
He got me red hot like silly stuff.
Michael Keaton
Next message. Mother, why don't these people use a turn signal? People, be considerate. Turn on your signal for sake.
Caller 1
Next message. You in the black fob in front of me. You're not that important. You can get off your cell phone and drive. Get off the phone. Use your blinkers and pay the attention.
Melissa
While she's on her cell phone.
Caller 1
Ashes and I plenty that can't seem to move the piece of car out of the road after you have an asset. Get the hell out of the way. You're making me late every day. I hate you.
Stupid mother. Driving a 4x4, dipping in and out of traffic. Stupid son of a.
Jeff
Oh, that's cathartic.
Burt
I'd love to play some for you that aren't cussing, but there are none.
Melissa
You cannot. I mean, come on, you're stuck in traffic. There's no way that you can call a vent line and not cuss.
Burt
404-255-35. 535 is the virtos traffic vent hotline number.
The Burt Show. Jeff, we're gonna need the voice disguiser for this call. Okie dokie. And some of the facts here are gonna be a little bit off because Ashley, quote unquote, that's not her real name, is having a real tough time with her dad right now and quite figure out exactly how to handle it herself. So she's hoping she comes on with us this morning. And some of you guys, maybe from both perspectives, maybe from like a parent's perspective, can give her some advice. And also from maybe somebody that's been in the same situation that has parents that really kind of have their thumb on you a little bit, you know?
Co-host/Producer
How old is she?
Burt
Let's ask her. Hey, Ashley.
Ashley
Hi.
Burt
Hi. You're on the voice disguiser. So there's no way that anybody can recognize your voice. Okay.
Ashley
Okay, great.
Co-host/Producer
How old are you?
Ashley
I'm 20. I'll be 21 in a couple weeks.
Burt
Okay. All right, let's start from there.
Ashley
So what's going on okay, well, a couple weeks ago my dad came to me and told me that he wanted me to get on birth control. And I told him that I didn't need to, I didn't want to. There are several different health reasons, especially that for people in my family. My cousins have been on it and have had a lot of problems when they come off of it. And I just don't think that I need to be on it. And I really don't feel that he trusts me or that he doesn't believe me and that I'm just being stubborn or whatever. But he's telling me now that either I get on it or I can't go out and stay out all night. I can't go on vacations.
Co-host/Producer
Once again, how old are you?
Ashley
I'm almost 21.
Burt
So you're obviously living in your parents house.
Ashley
Yeah, Cause I'm still in school right now.
Burt
Okay.
Jeff
Okay. Now do you have a relationship with your mom or is your dad the primary parent?
Ashley
Yeah, it's just my dad.
Jeff
It's just your dad. Okay, so. Okay, so he's not consulting with your mom on this?
Ashley
No, I mean, I have my stepmother and she talks to my stepmother about it, but I talk to her about it and she feels the same way that he does.
Burt
All right. Have you confided in your parents before that you are sexually active?
Ashley
No, I'm not. I've never been. I'm still.
Jeff
And you're still a virgin and you're, you're committed to saving yourself until you're married?
Ashley
Yeah.
Jeff
And they know that.
Ashley
Yeah.
Jeff
They just don't believe that.
Commercial Announcer
Yeah.
Melissa
Okay, well.
Burt
Well, first of all, it certainly sounds like there are some, some trust issues here. So there must be something in the past, in the history that make them have these trust issues. Either be it with you or be it with some experiences, is with some friends, kids, is there a history of that?
Jeff
They're watching too much Dateline or Prime Time.
Burt
Too much OC is what they're watching.
Michael Keaton
I don't know.
Ashley
I think if you just knew my family, especially my cousins and how wild and crazy they were when they were my age, it might have a lot to do with it. But I'm not a wild and crazy person. I'm just kind of laid back or whatever. And I just think that they look at my cousins and see how they need to be on it for, you know, certain reasons. And then they look at me and they be like, well, we want her to be on it just in case. But.
I really just don't know anymore if they really do believe me or not.
Burt
Okay, so that's almost like. So their only point of reference is your cousins who are of similar age, or at least back in their past, they were pretty wild. And your dad is, I'm guessing, and your stepmom pretty conservative.
Ashley
Not really. They're very protective when it comes to me because I'm the baby of the family and everything and I've always just been treated like I was a baby of the family and like I'm a little girl.
Co-host/Producer
Okay, can I eliminate a bunch of the calls? Because I mean, we're gonna get a million people who are gonna call up and go, you are 20 years old, you're an adult, and granted you live under their life, but you need to make the decisions for the hell. Because I think that's, I don't know, I mean that, that's my first thought is you're 20 years old. This isn't a decision that your dad makes for you at age 20.
Burt
But it's such a fine line here because he's. Is he paying for school also?
Ashley
Well, no, I have a scholarship. But he is paying a few of my bills right now. And that's what I, I didn't want him to because I knew something like this would happen and he could tell me, well, you know, you're living under my roof and you're paying, I'm paying your bills.
Jeff
Right.
Ashley
So you know, you have to do what I want. But I don't feel like this should be a rule that should be able to be enforced on me and I be punished for it if I don't follow.
Jeff
Well, here's a question because you brought up something about whether if you don't go on it, then you can't go out and stay out all night. Like, is that what he's most worried about? I mean, because you are 20, you're almost 21, so you're probably going out a whole lot. I mean, that's the age where you want to go to clubs, you want to go, you know, party hopping and.
Melissa
That sort of thing.
Jeff
And so are, I mean, are you doing other things that would make him not trust you? Are you coming in after curfew? Are you, you know, disobeying him on other things because, because you are living in his house, you know, I mean, have you given him other reasons?
Ashley
Okay, right after I graduated, I moved out for a while.
Jeff
Uh huh.
Ashley
And when I moved back in, he told me, you know, he's like, I want you to move back in. And if you move back in, then I'm not gonna put any of these rules on you because I know you've been out on your own and you're not gonna be able, you know, to handle living under my rule saying that you have, you know, you have to be home about 1 o' clock in the morning and you can't go out here and you can't go out there. And he's like, I just want to know where you're at, you know, if you're coming home or not. You know, I just want to know that you're okay. And so I was like, okay, well, if you can see those rules, then I'll move back in. You know, like, I'm fine with that.
Jeff
But does he still hate it when you stay out all night, though?
Ashley
No, because I call him and let him know, you know, I'll let him know ahead of time before I go out that I'm going out and I'm not going to be coming back home. And, you know, this is where I'm going to be staying. And you know, here's the number you can reach me at if you need. And you know, anything like that, it.
Burt
Just, it does feel, you know, I think Jeff brought up a really good point. Like at 20 or 21 years old, I, I haven't been in this situation, but if I was living at home, I wouldn't be checking in with my parents and letting them know where I am all the time. Giving them the parents phone number to the people that I'm spending the night over or something.
Ashley
I can do that. I mean, just like in case, like a lot of my friends, you know, they have their own places, they fail on their own. And so, you know, I'll stay over there. And I'm like, well, you know, here's numbers in my friend's house just in case. But you know, you can call me on my cell phone because I always have my cell phone with me. It's just, I do that out of respect for them because I know that, you know, my dad always worries about me. You know, I'm daddy's little girl and everything. But, you know, like you said, you know, I am 20 years old and this should be my decision. You know, I mean, I consider my. I know I'm so young, but I consider myself to be a woman. And you know, as a woman, I have the right to decide what goes in my body and what doesn't. And I think this should be one thing.
Burt
All right, Ashley, I'm gonna put you on hold for a second, because obviously a whole bunch of people are calling up to give you some advice, but I can't put you all on at the same time because we have the voice disguiser on. So I'm gonna put you on hold, and we're gonna take some calls, and then I'll come back to you and get your reaction. Okay?
Ashley
Okay.
Burt
So don't go anywhere. Okay. Can you turn the voice disguiser off? And.
Lydia, you're on the Burt show on all the hits. Q100.
Caller 1
Hi. Well, my name's Lydia. I'm 20. And when I was 16, when I started going out and stuff, my mom put me on birth control. Well, I can see where her dad is coming from because, you know, just in case the worst does happen, but. And you know, you want her to.
Co-host/Producer
Be protected, but how old were you when your mom put you on birth control?
Caller 1
16 when I started driving.
Burt
That feels very different to me.
Co-host/Producer
Absolutely. Because that's your. Because you are under the care of your parents at age 16, and they have to make decisions for you. And if that's a decision, I don't know if I agree with it. But if that's a decision that they made at age 16, they're titled. At 20, you are an adult.
Burt
And she said she's almost 21.
Co-host/Producer
You are. You are within weeks of being able to buy a beer. I mean, like.
Jeff
Yeah, no, I. I don't know, though. I tend to kind of lean towards her dad because she is staying out all night. He obviously doesn't like that. And she's moved back into his house. He's really providing for her and taking care of her again in the dad role. So how can you tell him, okay, please be a dad on one hand, but on the other hand, stop being a dad? Because he's really just trying to protect his daughter and be a dad to her.
Burt
See, now, I don't think that you're saying, stop be a dad. I just think you're saying stop being as controlling.
Jeff
Yeah, but she's also asking him to be controlling in other ways, whereas he's providing. He's providing for her and paying her bills. And he's in control in a lot of other ways that benefit her. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just don't think that it's fair for her to move back in to mom and dad's house and ask them for some things and then demand things like. And not do the whole give and take thing.
Burt
Morning, TC Hey.
Michael Keaton
How's it going, everybody?
Burt
Good, man. How are you?
Michael Keaton
I'm doing pretty good. My take on it, I think that she has a dad who is at his last point of trying to hold on to his little girl and he doesn't want to let her go.
And I mean I could understand him trying to be protective of her, but there are other options. And for him to be so demanding, I think it's just his way of trying to. His last effort of trying to hold on. But to her I'd say, I mean you're coming into womanhood so you have to decide, well whether if you're going to stay in your parents house and respect their rules and then, you know, cut out your hanging out all night and cut out the partying for a while until you can get your own place.
Burt
That was kind of my. Jeff and I were just talking about this off the air and it really, for me it boils down to, you know what, I would never handle it like this. But there is something to be said by. If you're living under your parents house then you gotta live by their rules. And Jeff thinks it's more of a medical thing than anything else.
Co-host/Producer
Oh, not a medical thing, it's a human rights thing. I mean this is not a rule. A rule is call me before you use the car or if you use the car, return it with the tank full or don't come in the house after midnight because it wakes up me and your mother. Those are rules. You know, keep your room clean, don't park in the front of the garage door. Those are rules. Take a medication is not a rule. Not only do I think it's, I mean, put a chemical into your body, I mean, you know, I use the example of smoking. But going back to that, it's the same thing. You're introducing a chemical to your body body that she doesn't want to. Not only do I think it's inappropriate, I think it's probably illegal. You can't. I mean the solution to this is, I mean she needs to move out like he is, he is forcing her to take a body altering chemical.
Burt
I wonder, you know what if this was like law and order and we were looking at this case, right? He forces her to go on the pill, she goes on the pill and she does get some kind of disease that is directly correlated to the pill, would she legally be able to sue her father for that?
Co-host/Producer
Well, that's the thing.
Jeff
Or vice versa. Yeah, I think she does need to move out. But I mean different opinion, same solution, but vice versa. She doesn't go on the pill, she gets pregnant and then expects Daddy to pay for it.
Burt
Those are all good angles.
Jeff
You know what I mean?
Melissa
Yeah.
Burt
It could go either way. Good morning, Shay. You're on the Burt Show.
Ashley
Hi. Yeah.
Caller 1
I think maybe she should just go get the pillow just to appease her.
Ashley
Dad and not take it.
Jeff
No, she can't lie to him.
Co-host/Producer
No, she needs to handle this with.
Burt
Her dad as an adult. I mean, she's 21 years old, one way or another. I don't. I don't know that hiding it or lying to him is the right answer on that, but. I don't know. I guess it's an option. I don't know that I'd handle it that way. Do you think that would only make it worse, Right?
Jeff
Yeah. Well, I think she's got to do. I don't know. I think she's got to address it with her dad and do what she can to move out on her own, because she's been out on her own before. She's used to that independence. And going back and being parented again after you've been out on your own just doesn't really work. I had a similar experience. I went home for six weeks one summer while I was in college. And after just a year of being in college and going back for six weeks, it was like, I don't want you to parent me anymore. You did a great job. Now I'm independent. And so I. I went. I signed up for, like, the second semester summer classes because it was like, I love you guys, but don't. Don't parent me anymore. You know?
Burt
Hey, Ashley.
Ashley
Yeah.
Burt
To me, it feels like this is that very defining point in your relationship with your dad, where you're not a little girl anymore and you're a young woman. And that's a tough conversation to have with your parents. But most have to go through it, and I think you're at it.
Jeff
Okay, you can do it. Stand up to him. You said earlier, you're 20 years old. You're a woman. You can. You know, you can express your opinion. And, you know it's gonna be a tough conversation, but it's one that you absolutely need to have. And if that means that you gotta get a job and figure it out and consolidate your bills and get out of the house sooner than maybe you would have liked, then that's what you gotta do. But you've gotta face it like an adult in order for him to treat you like an adult.
Ashley
I've already confronted him about it, and we talked about it and he just refuses to listen. He doesn't see it my way. And really it's just because he does see me as a child, I think. And even though I act like an adult, you know, I'm mature, responsible and you know, when I was paying my bills, I was taking care of them, paying them on time, paying them in full, you know, I took care of my responsibilities at the house, you know, I went to work every day, showed up on time, you know, and I did, you know, everything right. And it's just, it really hurts me that this is the way he's rewarding me for it.
Burt
You know, I would say that to him. I think that's a really valid point. And I also think this, you know, like in any business conversation when two people are any relationship, when two people are on such polar opposites in opinion, if you come to the table with some kind of compromise, generally you both are gonna walk away happy and disappointed. But at least you can get some common ground. So what is the compromise here? Is it the condoms for both of you guys?
Ashley
I mean I'd be willing to do that if that made him feel better. I just don't really think he's gonna go for it.
Jeff
Well, it could be the condom. It could be you promising that you're gonna be home at a different time. I mean it could be the staying out late all night that he in the back of his mind's going, well she's not having sex and what else is she doing?
Burt
Cause nothing good is going on between midnight and 6.
Jeff
Exactly. Nothing good happens after midnight or 2am or whatever. So I mean maybe the compromise is you say, you know what, I'll be home by 2 or 2:30 and I'll you know, take condoms everywhere I go if you just, you know, back off on the taking the pill thing.
Burt
So what are your instincts saying right now? Like if you had to have the conversation with him in 5min, what would you do? At this point.
Ashley
He probably would never agree to anything I said it's his way or no way and I don't know what would happen from there.
Burt
That's a prediction. I'm asking you what, what are you gonna do?
Ashley
What am I gonna do?
Burt
Uh huh.
Ashley
I, I mean I.
Michael Keaton
I don't want.
Ashley
To get on the pill, so I'm gonna do everything possible not to.
But if it comes down to it that I'm, I mean, cause I can't afford to move out on my own because of school and the way my school schedule is, I'd never Be able to have a job that would work with me with the way my school schedule is.
To be able to move out of my own right now.
So I mean, I don't know how that would work.
Burt
So you got some thinking to do?
Ashley
Yeah.
Burt
Okay, well, let's check back in with you on Monday. I think. You know what, it may not be the same issue with a lot of other people, but I think we've got a lot of listeners that are probably in the same place in their life right now that are probably gonna get a real education on how to handle a situation like this. And that's why I think it's kind of. It's pretty cool if we could call you back on Monday and find out how everything went.
Ashley
Okay.
Burt
Okay.
Ashley
Alright, thanks.
Burt
Alright, Ashton, good luck. Good luck.
Jeff
Okay.
Ashley
All right. I appreciate it.
Burt
Bye bye.
Ashley
Bye.
Burt
The bird show.
Jeff
Big news.
Burt
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Commercial Voice
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Jeff
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Burt
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Jeff
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Burt
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Jeff
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Burt
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Burt
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Jeff
Introducing store to door switch and get.
Burt
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Michael Keaton
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Commercial Voice
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Ashley
Santa, did you get my letter?
Michael Keaton
He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not.
Commercial Voice
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Burt
Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew.
Michael Keaton
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Host: Pionaire Podcasting | Date: December 8, 2025
Cast: Bert, Melissa, Jeff, Co-host/Producer
This lively episode blends the show’s hallmark morning radio humor with relatable drama and real talk. The cast invites listeners into candid conversations about exes holding items “ransom” after breakups, balancing parental control with young adult independence, and tackling stress from daily commutes. A highlight is a quick-fire but engaging interview with Michael Keaton, who discusses his film career, Batman legacy, and beliefs about the supernatural.
(01:33–08:10)
Listener Stories:
Penny’s Ex-Wife & the $47,000 Boat (01:44)
Caller 1 describes her ex-wife threatening to hide a shared boat unless she agrees to a dinner, years after their split.
The Fake Farewell (03:27)
Erica recounts her ex-boyfriend's dramatic “if you don’t get back with me, I’ll leave the country” threat — only for him to fake his departure, then reappear at her door, later even proposing to her.
“He expected me to be, like, fall into his arms, like ‘Oh God, thank God you’re here and you didn’t leave.’”
– Erica, listener (05:07)
The Dog Hostage (06:19)
Another caller shares how her cousin kept a dog from his ex out of spite — only for the ex to buy another dog, leaving him stuck.
Cast Insights:
(07:01–08:10)
Listener Solutions:
Cast Banter:
(09:15–17:26)
Michael Keaton Joins (09:15)
Key Interview Highlights:
Batman Franchise Departure (10:41)
Keaton explains he passed on further Batman films due to poor scripts, predicting the then-forthcoming “prequel” angle would work well.
“I thought it was more interesting to go back and do more of a prequel. And that's apparently what they're doing in this one. I'll bet you this is good. Not for that reason, but… it’ll be quite good.” – Michael Keaton (11:00)
On George Clooney “Killing” Batman (11:41)
Keaton claims Clooney himself joked about it and holds no ill will. “He's a very charming cat.”
Has He Watched Other Batmans? (12:07)
“Honestly, I've never seen them… it’s not out of any kind of vengeance, I just had no real interest.” – Michael Keaton (12:07)
Beetlejuice Sequel? (12:30)
He’d love to do it if Tim Burton produced:
“You should start promoting that idea… it's a guaranteed money maker… it's one of the only things I'd like to do. I just had so much fun doing that.” – Michael Keaton (12:37)
Legacy Film Selection (13:21)
“It might be Beetlejuice… originality is really hard to come by… I think that movie is truly a piece of art.” – Michael Keaton (13:32)
About "White Noise" Film (14:09)
Drawn by its originality and psychological depth. The subject — communicating with the dead — led him to reconsider its possibility after research, referencing scientists and historical recordings.
“I had to do a whole rethink about it… it was verified by respected scientists that there is something… they can’t explain.” – Michael Keaton (16:19)
Spooky Movie Set? Easily Scared? (15:37)
“Well, you know, you’re talking to a guy who gets scared by certain kinds of cheeses.” – Michael Keaton (15:37)
Gracious Sign-off: Keaton exits with humor and warmth, the segment leaving both the cast and listeners charmed.
(20:20–23:13)
Host Reflections:
“The fangs come out. I turn into a sailor. I cuss like one… do the whole hand motion, like what are you thinking?” – Melissa (20:48)
Real Listener Rants:
(23:27–38:53)
Situation: 20 years old, living at home, her dad is pressuring her to take birth control, threatening loss of privileges (going out, vacations) if she refuses, despite her being a self-described virgin who wants bodily autonomy. (24:02–26:28)
“As a woman, I have the right to decide what goes in my body and what doesn’t.” – Ashley (29:51)
Cast Discussion:
Co-host/Producer: “Take a medication is not a rule… I think it’s probably illegal. He is forcing her to take a body altering chemical.” (33:13)
Jeff: “…she doesn’t go on the pill, she gets pregnant and then expects Daddy to pay for it.” (34:13)
Advice & Solutions:
“I can't afford to move out on my own because of school… I'd never be able to have a job that would work with my school schedule.” (38:06)
Empowerment:
Closing:
On Exes Holding Things Ransom:
“I think that's bragging rights more than anything else. He was so in love with me, he could not only be in the same city or the same state. This man had to flee the country.” — Bert (03:56)
Michael Keaton on Batman:
“It was not good. It was not a good script… I want to go on and do some other things.” — Michael Keaton (10:56)
On Commuter Rage:
“You in the black fob in front of me… get off your cell phone and drive!” — Vent Line caller (22:15) “I'd love to play some for you that aren't cussing, but there are none.” — Bert (23:02)
On Ashley’s Dilemma:
“As a woman, I have the right to decide what goes in my body and what doesn’t.” — Ashley (29:58)
On Young Adult Independence:
“If you’re living under your parents’ house then you gotta live by their rules… but there is something to be said by… not handling it like this.” — Burt (32:39)
“Take a medication is not a rule… I think it’s probably illegal. You can’t… he is forcing her to take a body altering chemical.” — Co-host/Producer (33:13)
This episode whole-heartedly delivers authentic conversation, plenty of laughs, and comforting commiseration for everyday struggles—from traffic to tough talks with parents—anchored by the kind of honest, real radio that defines The Bert Show.