The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Monday, February 16, 2026

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of The Bert Show dives into two main listener-driven topics: the pros and cons of eloping versus having a traditional wedding and a heated discussion about friendship boundaries following a listener's bad night out. The cast balances honest personal insights, humor, and real listener stories to create a relatable, lively morning show conversation.

Segment 1: Should You Elope? (01:30–15:04)

Theme:
With wedding season pressure mounting (cost, logistics, family expectations), Bert and cast ask listeners: If you eloped, do you regret it or recommend it?

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Financial and Emotional Strain:

  • The average cost of a wedding is $28,800, trending upward to $31,000 by 2012.
  • [03:08] Bert: “How much it costs now to get married. $28,800.”

• Listener Stories on Eloping:

  • Most who eloped would endorse it, citing reduced stress, financial savings, and limited family drama.

  • Anna's Story:

    • Courthouse wedding, small party at home, only parents and sisters knew.
    • [04:26] Anna: “Oh, yeah, definitely. ... The stress of my friends and everybody that has gone through, you know, planning a wedding, I just don't think it's worth it.”
    • Only negative: her best friend felt left out.

  • Rachel's Story:

    • Eloped in 2003; secret until marriage license mailed to parents.
    • Marriage ended in divorce, but Rachel still recommends eloping:
    • [07:18] Rachel: “It was so much easier. And after it was over ... it felt so great.”

  • Barbara's Story:

    • Eloped in 1992; mother’s overly controlling wedding planning was the last straw.
    • [08:16] Barbara: “She and I have completely different tastes. ... She just took over. And everything she wanted to do, I absolutely hated.”
    • Would do it again and felt she saved her family a ton of money.

• Endorsement vs. Regret:

  • Vast majority of callers recommend eloping, despite some initial anger/hurt from family and friends.
  • [09:10] Bert: “No one is calling to say, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Really?”
  • Only one caller, Sarah, expressed regret due to ongoing family hurt:
    • [10:59] Sarah: “None of my family knew for a year ... I don’t think my mom’s ever really got over [it].”
    • Even post-party, her mother wishes she’d been present at the actual wedding.

• Family Dynamics & Emotional Aftermath:

  • The cast relate to feeling like they “robbed” their parents of a life milestone.
  • Bert reflects on not asking his father-in-law for his wife’s hand and later regretting it.
    • [12:07] Bert: “I feel like I robbed him of ... a unique experience and I think it’s probably one that he wanted in his life.”

• Memorable Quotes:

  • [05:40] Anna: “Yes, I would tell everybody. It's a heck of a lot easier. Save your money.”
  • [13:02] Bert: “Nine out of 10 said, yeah, do it, do it, do it, do it.”
  • [13:05] Cast: “Save the 30 grand and go to Vegas. Have a nice day.”

• Wedding Cost Breakdown – Eye-Opening Numbers:

  • $28,800 average wedding cost
  • 167 guests on average
  • $5,500 for a ring, $2,500 photographer, $3,000 band, $1,100 rehearsal dinner, $2,000+ flowers, $1,500 gown, $3,200 planner (only 17% use one), $3,000 bartender, $3,800 honeymoon
  • [14:50] “Your honeymoon is probably one of your biggest expenses. $3,800.”

Segment 2: Friendship Fallout – Abandoned After a Night Out (16:54–28:28)

Theme:
Listener Wendy shares a story of being abandoned at a bar by a friend, leading to a fraught debate over what constitutes a friendship deal-breaker.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Wendy's Story:

  • Expected a ride home from her friend after a bar hangout; friend left her, no call or text.
  • Wendy walked home alone at 3:30 AM (dangerous, long walk).
  • [18:49] Wendy: “I walked around 3, 3:30 in the morning, I walked from 12th street to 26th Street.”
  • She didn’t respond to her friend’s “Are you okay?” text until the next afternoon.

• Friend's Perspective & Miscommunication:

  • Friend later claimed she looked for Wendy and couldn’t find her, phone was lost in car, others present could have texted her.
  • [17:52] Jeff: “She said she went over there and searched for me and then ... couldn’t find me ... still like no text, no call ... people ... could have found me and I got nothing.”

• Cast Debate: Friendship Standards

  • Gender Differences Noted:

    • [21:02] Bert: “We’d be pissed at each other and then go out drinking again tomorrow.”
    • [21:22] Cassie: “It’s also a different scenario though, because you guys wouldn’t be put into the same kind of danger ... for Wendy ... 12 blocks is completely different.”

  • Female Listeners Side with Wendy:

    • [22:10] Larisa: “You never leave your girlfriends ever. ... I would search and search ... until the place closed down ... wouldn’t you be a little worried if you didn’t hear from your friend until like, the next day?”

  • Male Listeners Find the Situation Overblown:

    • [20:38] Jay: “Doesn’t really rise to the level of a friend excommunication.”

• Aftermath & Attempts at Reconciliation:

  • Wendy and her friend Ariel saw each other after the incident—Ariel sent an apology text but never apologized in person.
  • Wendy wants a face-to-face apology and hasn't spoken to Ariel since.
  • [25:29] Wendy: “Yeah, apology would have been cool, like face to face.”
  • Jeff calls Ariel live on-air; she refuses to talk on-air about it.
  • [26:14] Bert: “I don’t like this sense of maturity.”
  • Listeners divided—men say let it go, women see friendship safety as sacred.

• Resolution Advice:

  • The cast encourages Wendy to talk it out directly with Ariel; miscommunication plus alcohol may have heightened the drama.
    • [27:18] Bert: “Just call her up, y’all just chat it out. ... shouldn’t be a deal breaker if you’ve known each other that long.”

• Memorable Moments:

  • [21:22] Cassie: “You guys wouldn’t be put into the same kind of danger ... marching down the street all by yourself.”
  • [22:31] Larisa: “That’s a really dangerous situation, especially in Atlanta.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:05] D: “No, this is the person you are engaged to.”
• [05:16] Anna: “That's the whole point of the wedding. But it gets too crazy and tossing out the money and I would ... My parents actually gave us a lump like a check and just said thank you so much for not involving stress ...”
• [09:15] B: “Doesn't look like anybody regrets it.”
• [13:10] B: “Let's go through some of these numbers right now. $28,800 ...”
• [18:56] C: “Oh, Wendy, that is so unsafe.”
• [22:18] F (Larisa): “You just, you never leave your girlfriends ever.”
• [24:27] C: “You disappear. You just ... all of a sudden ... there’s no more Bert.”

Important Timestamps

• 01:30: Elopement discussion begins
• 03:38: First listener story (Anna, courthouse elopement)
• 06:00: Rachel’s story (secret courthouse elopement)
• 07:36: Barbara’s story (eloping due to mother’s interference)
• 10:57: First caller expressing regret (Sarah)
• 13:10: Deep dive into average wedding costs
• 16:54: Wendy’s abandoned-after-a-bar story starts
• 18:56: Cast expresses concern for Wendy’s safety
• 21:22: Gender difference in friendship standards discussion
• 22:10: Listener Larisa calls in (“Never leave your girlfriends”)
• 25:29: Wendy wants apology; cast urges reconciliation

Summary Takeaway

• Elopement: Nearly all listeners who eloped would do it again, citing high costs, ease, and lower stress, though some regret the emotional fallout with family.
• Friendship Fallout: A night of miscommunication strains Wendy and Ariel’s friendship, exposing differences in gendered expectations for “girl code” safety and responsibility; cast encourages mature, direct resolution.

Tone & Style

• Genuine, relatable, sometimes irreverent, often funny—but always focused on real-life dilemmas and honest listener connection.

This episode is an engaging blend of candid advice, personal anecdotes, and real listener participation, tackling both the economics and emotions of major life events and everyday relationships.