Full Show PT 1: Monday, January 26 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Monday, January 26 [Vault]

Date: January 26, 2026
Hosts & Cast: Bert, Jeff, Melissa, Jen, Blake, Nicole
Podcast by: Pionaire Podcasting

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers around candid, humorous, and relatable discussions about social dynamics, both in friendships and the workplace. The team dives into intriguing conversations about the unwritten rules of women’s groups, attractiveness, boldness, and how these factors affect acceptance. The show also explores dating dilemmas, commitment issues, and a listener’s workplace ethical struggle, lending both empathy and practical advice with their signature blend of real talk and humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Social Dynamics: Attractiveness, Boldness & Group Acceptance

[00:00–14:12]

• The Social Experiment Story: Bert recounts a night out with friends where the group divided along gender lines, and a new, highly attractive woman joined the women’s group and made an immediately bold entrance.

  • Unwritten Social Rule: According to Jessica (Bert’s partner), attractive women must approach groups more humbly to avoid being seen as a threat, unlike their less-attractive counterparts.
  • Different Standards?: The group debates whether this dynamic equally affects men, ultimately concluding the impact is less significant for guys, who tend to be quicker to accept a "good-looking" newcomer if he is socially adept.

• Notable Quotes:

  • "There's kind of an unwritten rule with women that the more physically attractive you are... you have to approach a group of other women differently." – Bert [01:58]
  • "As a general rule, the prettier you are, the more humble you have to be at first impression." – Jeff, summarizing the point [08:13]
  • "I think it's just the opposite for guys. If you're a good looking guy, you're accepted almost immediately." – Jeff [09:58]

• Listener Call-Ins:

  • A self-described attractive woman validates Jessica’s theory, admitting she has to “shut [her] mouth, be really really friendly and wait for an opportunity” in new groups [07:34].
  • Another caller challenges this, expressing that confidence should be welcomed regardless of looks [10:39].
  • Lita shares her experience of facing prejudice due to her looks, even in unrelated interactions like drive-thrus [11:21].

• Celebrity Anecdote:

  • Discussion of Jessica Alba’s struggles with dating due to men being intimidated by her attractiveness [12:11].

2. "Blake the Blogger" Update: Dating Dilemmas & The Commitment Conundrum

[14:12–24:47]

• Blake’s Story:

  • Blake, known for honest blogging about single life, discusses being set up with Diana, his sister-in-law’s best friend—a situation with stakes due to family connections.
  • He reflects on how this alters his usual carefree or even "jerk" approach to dating, instead forcing him to act more thoughtfully and naturally.

• Commitment Issues:

  • Blake divulges his discomfort with commitment and labeling relationships, explaining prior incidents where he resisted putting a label on a months-long romance, which led to conflicts and his preference for casual encounters.
  • The hosts frame Blake’s perspective as representative of many men, reaffirming that even naming a relationship feels like a big leap for guys.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “The hardest thing so far has been trying not to be a prick, because that’s normally what I do in the first stages of dating.” – Blake [17:51]
  • “I think women need to understand that commitment for guys is a really hot topic and a really scary topic.” – Jen [22:32]
  • “Even naming or a label, is considered commitment.” – Burt [22:55]

• Plans for the Future:

  • Blake will address readers' emailed questions about dating on future episodes [24:03].

3. Listener Drama: Ethics in the Workplace

[24:52–38:41]

• Nicole’s Work Dilemma:

  • Nicole shares her struggle in a toxic workplace where her supervisor is pressuring her to provide negative feedback about a coworker to try to get that coworker fired. Nicole repeatedly refuses, leading to escalating workplace hostility.
  • The cast discusses the dearth of HR protections in small offices and the fear that, even when HR is present, they side with management.

• Advice Segment:

  • Melissa suggests documenting the supervisor’s intimidation with written evidence, while Jen advises copying the supervisor in any formal complaints to avoid appearing petty [31:02].
  • Multiple listeners call in to share similar experiences and propose practical solutions, including writing detailed accounts, seeking witnesses, or even making (legal) audio recordings in states like Georgia [34:00–36:10].

• Expert HR Input (Carlos):

  • The show's HR adviser Carlos instructs Nicole to document everything (preferably by email to herself and management) and warns her not to comply with requests to lie or falsify records.
  • He concludes that toxic situations rarely improve after escalation and recommends seeking a new position [36:49–38:30].

• Notable Quotes:

  • "You need... to get out of where you are... if you get this piece of evidence... they'll say, well, this girl's gonna be a troublemaker... and you'll be gone." – Burt [32:09]
  • “She should not do it. She should document that the supervisor has requested that of her... Then you protect yourself from what's called retaliation.” – Carlos [37:17, 38:03]
  • “That guy sounds so legitimate to me. Like his voice sounds so by the book.” – Jeff (about Carlos) [38:36]

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Memorable Moments & Listener Quotes

• "Too Bold for Her Looks": The phrase becomes a running joke as the hosts explore whether boldness is more risky if you're very attractive [01:56–03:33].
• Blake’s Honesty About Playing "the Jerk": His candid admission that self-protection in dating has become second nature [18:54].
• Drive-Thru Discrimination Anecdote: Lita’s humorous but telling story about people being abrupt with her based on her appearance [11:22].
• Legal Tactics for Surviving Toxic Supervision: A listener shares how legally recording hostile bosses helped change her work situation [35:28].
• The HR Guy "Carlos": The team jokingly admires his professionalism and straight-edged demeanor [38:36–38:48].

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–14:12 – Gender group dynamics and the “humble hot woman” rule
• 07:31, 10:39, 11:21, 34:00, 35:28, 36:49 – Notable listener call-ins sharing personal experiences
• 14:12–24:47 – Blake the Blogger’s setup, commitment issues, and advice plans
• 24:52–38:41 – Nicole’s dilemma, ethical workplace debate, crowd-sourced advice, HR expert conclusion

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Episode Tone & Style

As always, The Bert Show team keeps things real, with self-deprecating humor, light banter, and candid storytelling. The tone alternates between playful and empathetic, depending on the seriousness of the topic, with an undercurrent of encouragement for listeners to share their own stories.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode offers a rich slice of The Bert Show’s signature blend of wit, authenticity, and community. It’s a lively group discussion you can laugh along with and find comfort in, whether pondering the politics of making friends or navigating the ethical landmines at work. Both the cast and callers contribute real stories and advice, making it perfect for anyone interested in relatable modern dilemmas and funny, heartfelt radio.

Transcript

[Burt]

The Burt Show. So a couple weeks ago, Jessica and I were out with a whole group of friends. And, I mean, it was nothing formal. Like, we were just kind of hanging out at a bar, and it wasn't crowded, so it was a cool time. You know, like, wasn't too loud. Everybody could talk. Everybody's hanging out. So as the natural progression of socializing goes, the men had all made their way up and were hanging around the bar, and the women had made their way to a table, and they were all kind of sitting around a table.

[Jeff]

It always goes back to the eighth grade, doesn't it? Like the eighth grade dance. Guys on one side, girls on the other.

[Burt]

Everybody's got to get separated, right? So it splits up like that, and people are in their own group. And then another group that knew everybody pretty much within the same group makes their way into the bar. So we see them, and we're happy to see these people that we hadn't seen. And among this added group was a girl that some of us knew and some of us didn't. So that group naturally follows the same progression and splits up into, you know, two. Two separate groups and.

[Melissa]

Gender groups.

[Burt]

Gender groups, yeah. And so now there's a bigger group of guys and a bigger group of girls, and everything seems to be fine until the next day when, you know, Jessica and I are doing the recon that happens after a night out. We're like, what'd you guys talk about at your table? I don't know. What'd you guys talk about at the bar? And you're filling each other in on the gossip that you learn, and then finding out what the true story is when you piece the guy's version to the girl's version. And the thing that she said to me that stood out is one of the girls who came in with the second party was one of the new girls who didn't know anyone, was extremely attractive and too bold for her looks.

[Jeff]

Too bold for her looks.

[Burt]

Too bold for her looks. And I asked what that meant, and Jessica said, there's kind of an unwritten rule with women that the more physically attractive you are, the different. If you are very physically attractive, you have to approach a group of other women differently than if you were not as attractive.

[Jeff]

So the formula is, the more attractive, the. The more humble that you have to be kind of as to not threaten the other women at the table.

[Burt]

Yes. And she didn't really realize that until we started talking through it. And she just explained that this girl who was very hot came in and was like, hi, hey everybody, my name's went around, introduced herself to everybody, sat down at the table, made herself comfortable, and then immediately started talking in the conversation and joking and everything and was a part of it. And Jessica's like number one. That's weird to begin with because you have to. You can't just sit down at a table and start joking. But the fact that she was on a scale of 1 to 10, she was on closer to a 10 then that made it. Jessica explained that it's just known that if you're that attractive, you have to almost be humble and let the group accept you. Whereas if you are not as great looking, then it's okay to come in and. Because you're not a threat. And even though like most of the guys were paired off either in long term relationships or.

[Jeff]

And this hottie was approaching the girl group, not the guy group.

[Burt]

Yeah. And you know, so it wasn't like a threat situation, like, oh, who's this girl here, you know, invading our group. Like it was pretty well separated. And Jessica was just like, yeah, like if you are not as physically attractive, it's easier for you to be accepted by a group of women. If you are very attractive, then you should know that there's a way to approach. And I got the impression from her that she had talked about this. Like this is something that was fairly well known and accepted.

[Melissa]

See, I think that it depends on the personality of the person regardless of how attractive they are. Because, because like I'm trying to imagine.

[Jeff]

Are you being PC now or do you really believe that?

[Melissa]

No, no, no, I'm saying I'm just trying to imagine me and my girlfriend sitting around and a new person approaching the group and a new person, regardless of what they look like, just all of a sudden acting like they were like in on our jokes or in on our conversation or just like making themselves the center of attention, I think would be rejected regardless of what they look like. But Jessica may have a point, but that if it were a less attractive person, maybe it's less threatening or it depends to me on that person's relationship status. Status. If she's very attractive and she's a married woman coming into the group, I think all bets are off and she's still accepted. I think if she's a single woman who's that attractive coming in, trying to make herself whatever, even though it's just with the women, then maybe she's rejected. I think if you think, well, I.

[Burt]

Don'T know, I did, I thought. But finish your thought, Melissa. Because I, I think, I don't necessarily agree with that, but I don't hear your take more.

[Jen]

I think it'd be different if the men weren't there. If she was somebody that, let's say her boyfriend's name's Mark. So she walks in and she recognizes Jessica and say, hey, I saw you over here, I'm so and so and Mark's girlfriend. And then she just introduces herself to the group and stuff. I think the attitude would be different if the men weren't in the room than being in the room. Because I think her attractiveness, whether she's shy or got a big personality for some women, it doesn't matter.

[Burt]

I thought about it and think that not only does it apply to women, but it applies to men as well.

[Jen]

You think?

[Burt]

Yep. And I. Yep.

[Jeff]

I don't.

[Burt]

Yes, it totally does. Absolutely.

[Jeff]

I think guys look at another good looking guy as an asset to their group because he'll bring over good looking women. Whereas women don't look at another good looking woman as an asset to their group.

[Burt]

I think it, I think it's on a different level and I don't think it affects guys nearly as much and it's easier for guys to get past it. But I think the initial approach, if you are a 9 or a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of physical attractiveness, I think the initial approach puts the other people in the group off. For example, Bert, you're out with all your guys and another guy wanders up who knows one of you, and he's too bold and too comfortable. I'm sorry, he's bold and he's comfortable and he's too good looking. Like, he's like a 10 and everybody knows it. And he's drawn, dressed perfect and his hair's perfect and he's like, this guy could be like a model, you know what I mean? Like, you guys would be a little put off. The difference is within five minutes if he's charming and nice and funny and buys a round of beers and the guys are over it. Whereas the girls, I think that initial thing sits in their brain for a while and they have to break it down. Like. And I think the guys will say, I might say to Burt, did you believe that guy came strutting up here? He turned out to be a cool guy, but for a minute I thought he was going to be like, well.

[Jeff]

First we'd go, well, I wish he would have just said he was gay.

[Burt]

Right.

[Jeff]

Clearly that good looking.

[Burt]

He's that physically attractive. He Clearly I would like to talk.

[Jeff]

To some of these women, I mean really good looking women that really believe that that's either true or false.

[Jen]

Well, we're going to judge them just because they'll call up and say they're that good looking.

[Jeff]

I guess so, maybe. But I mean, I wonder if there are women that are like, okay, I know I'm pretty and I know that there's a certain that I have to act differently because people are almost put off by my good looks. Like it doesn't work in my favor, it works against me. I don't know if Kimberly is one of those. Hey Kimberly, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Hey you guys, good morning.

[Jen]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I gotta tell ya, it is absolutely true. Now I know that I probably wouldn't go ahead and rate myself a 10 out of 10, but I know that I can clean up. I know that I've got certain attributes that are appealing. Bottom line is when I go and I'm meeting a group of girls, I know ahead of time that in order to get kind of like, I don't know, the advantage, I've got to shut my mouth, be really, really friendly and wait for an opportunity to throw a funny comment in or something like that.

[Jeff]

So you say it's true. As a general rule, the prettier you are, the more humble you have to be at first impression.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I think there's a general stereotype that prettier girls are not nice, that they're a little bit more arrogant, stuck up, snobby. And so the automatic reaction from other.

[Blake]

Women is to give them a cold.

[Melissa]

Shoulder even if there's guys around or no guys around.

[Nicole]

I don't think it has anything to do with guys.

[Jen]

I think it has everything to do with guys. I absolutely think it has everything to do with guys.

[Burt]

I don't think it has anything to do with guys either. I think it I, because I mean the one that I saw was completely separate and I even asked Jessica, but.

[Jen]

The guys were in the room though.

[Burt]

It doesn't matter. Jessica said it didn't matter if the girl was married. I think one of the explanations Jessica offered, not as like she couldn't explain why she felt that way, but one of the explanations that she offered was that if somebody walked in who's like a 10 out of 10, is super hot and looks great and is dressed nice and has the whole package, Jessica's like, oh, look at this girl. She's already got everything going for her. So it might just be the cattiness of Women who automatically want to dislike her. And then when she comes in and she's like bold and confident, she's like, hi, my name's Melissa. And she's shaking everybody's hand and everybody's like, nice. And then she sits down and asks something intelligent to add to the conversation. And Jessica said it's just in the nature of women to be annoyed by that.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And the prettier woman has to work differently. Not hard, not necessarily harder, but differently to belong to that group. And on the converse, if you're on the low end of that scale, you need to come in and be smart and funny and shake everyone's hand and make yourself.

[Jeff]

I think it's just the opposite for guys. I think that if you're a good looking guy, you're accepted to the group almost immediately. That there's no threat to it at all. That guys want to be around other good looking guys.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Because they're going to attract hotties.

[Melissa]

See, I think with, with the situation with Jessica, I think the, the relationship status of that good looking woman has everything to do with how she's accepted or not. If she's a married woman and she comes in that bold and that confidently, to me it's like all bets are off. But if she comes in as a single woman, I think it's different. And I do think that you reject her.

[Burt]

The girl we're talking about, Jessica, had no idea what her relationship, what her status was.

[Jeff]

Hey, Erica, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Hi.

[Nicole]

I think that's the most bogus rule.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I've ever heard of.

[Nicole]

I do.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I've never heard that. I appreciate somebody that comes up that's confident no matter what they look like. If they're prettier, awesome. I want to hang out with pretty people.

[Jen]

I think also I know that they're making the argument the men don't matter, but it's not often you're going to find a girl walking into a bar, walking into a club, or being somewhere where she's just going to walk up to a group of women and friends with them. A lot of women have been friends for a while and the way you meet is through other people in relationships. And in that scenario, every the couples were coupled off and she comes into the group of women whose men were somewhere else in that same arena. And I think that has everything to do with the attitude.

[Jeff]

Hey, Lita, good Morning. You're on Q100. What's up?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Hey, I was just calling.

[Blake]

This has totally happened to me and it's crazy. I've even gone to a drive through window and obviously they can't see you there. As soon as I pull up and they see you, I don't know what it is. It's intimidation or something. And it's almost as if they throw the food at you. It's like, where did the cattiness come from? I'm like, my God.

[Jeff]

So you think you get discriminated against and this is a conversation we've had before. You think you get discriminated against because you're good looking?

[Blake]

Yeah, always. And even guys, they, they'll say, you know what, I just thought you would have been conceited. I was intimidated to even approach you. And I'm like, what are you talking about? They're like, oh, you're so nice. And I'm thinking, I can't be nice because I. I'm attractive.

[Jeff]

Yeah. I want that kind of problem. I love that kind of problem.

[Jen]

I could never say that about myself. What you expected me because I'm attractive?

[Burt]

We talked about.

[Jen]

I can't.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Jen]

I don't see myself that way.

[Burt]

We've talked about that before. Like when we've had celebrities in studio, like super hot celebrities. I remember specifically it was Jessica Alba.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And Bert asked her something about her dating life or something like that. And she's like, I wish I had one. But guys just get so freaked out because, you know, she goes, I don't know if it's because I'm attractive or because I was in movies or whatever. Just guys won't even talk to me.

[Jeff]

You just assume that beautiful women have. When they walk into a bar, as a guy, you just assume that they have the pick of the bar. And the truth is that in a lot of cases, so many guys are so scared to go up to them that they're sitting there alone.

[Jen]

I can believe that. I can believe beautiful women having not as much of a dating life as people think for that reason about going through a drive thru and somebody practically throwing your food at you. Well, they, yeah, you know what? Everybody goes to a drive through and they're not the most friendly people in the world.

[Burt]

Here's your McNuggets, you skinny little.

[Jen]

Because I'm pretty.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

I love the women that think they're just so hot.

[Jen]

Like, oh my gosh, she's throwing attitude in me because I'm so pretty.

[Burt]

Well, it's funny you bring that up, Bert, because we have one of those women sitting amongst us.

[Jeff]

How's that?

[Burt]

Because when I originally told this story Last week, when you were out off the air, like, we were just sitting around talking afterwards, the event we were at, Jen was there and comes up to me the next day and says, hey, I wasn't the one who was too bold, right?

[Melissa]

No, I didn't think it was because. No, I didn't think it was because of that.

[Jeff]

Did you approach me and go, am I that beautiful woman that you're talking about?

[Melissa]

No, Jeff's calling me out, but it's only because there was a situation where I was introduced to or I introduced myself to one of Jessica's friends. And it was a very awkward introduction.

[Jeff]

Yeah, because you're pretty and you're too bold.

[Melissa]

I was at a table full of people.

[Burt]

It was very different. It was really awkward when I had to explain to Javi, she's an a hole, that she's only like a six and a half or seven. I mean, it's really uncomfortable to tell someone that I wasn't doing it.

[Caller/Listener 1]

At that part of it, I really.

[Melissa]

Thought I had ticked off the front of the.

[Burt]

The Birch Show. How would you describe Blake?

[Melissa]

Blake is our single anonymous guy blogger. He is the one who is going to be able to be really honest about his life of being a single guy in Atlanta and dating and that sort of thing. Because Blake is not actually his name. That is just going to be his pen name for coming on the bird show so we can get some real honest, you know, honest insight into the dating world.

[Burt]

And Blake has been joining us for a few. A few months now. We haven't talked to him in quite a while, so we can get some insight. You can read his blog. His blog still exists. You know, all the hits, q100.com But Blake finds himself in an interesting situation now that. Involving dating that is could be potentially dangerous to manage.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Burt]

He's been set up with someone by somebody that he knows, and so he has to give, you know, a good try to the person he was set up with. So the person he knows who set him up isn't offended. Right. By him. Like, just completely rejecting.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Burt]

So. Hey, Blake, how you been doing?

[Blake]

Pretty good. How are you guys?

[Burt]

Good. How were your holidays?

[Blake]

They were fantastic. They were really cool. Got some time off from work and got to do a little traveling. It was great.

[Melissa]

And was the traveling solo or with any women?

[Blake]

Oh, no. Well, New Year's we went to Hilton Head and a friend of mine had rented out a cottage down there. And so I got to go down there with. Yeah, with this new girl that's on the horizon. I guess we'll call her Diana. And it was a fun little two.

[Nicole]

Days in Hilton Head.

[Blake]

It was great. It was a chance for us to kind of get away from. From the city for a little while and get to know each other a little better. So.

[Jen]

So tell us about Diana and how y' all met.

[Blake]

Okay, well, Diana is like the long term best friend of my sister in law.

[Burt]

Ooh, see? Yeah, that's tough.

[Blake]

Yeah. And it's not like she's my best friend kind of best friend. It's like legitimate best friend.

[Jen]

Right.

[Blake]

I mean, they've known each other since they were kids, so she's absolutely drop dead gorgeous. And I'm using my sister in law. I feel almost bad about it because I don't think this girl would normally. Would normally be hit. Would normally. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? There'd be a lot of effort. There'd be a lot of effort put into it to make it happen. But yeah, it's. I don't know, you kind of doubt yourself when you're in a situation like this because you can't really work your normal. I guess I don't want to call it game. That's kind of lame. But you can't. You can't really just do what normally works when you're worried about offending, you know, family, really. You know, and then it would just be awkward because this girl's over all the time and yeah, it would definitely be a bad situation. So.

[Melissa]

So were you nervous about dating her in the first place because of that?

[Blake]

No, not really. I wasn't like the whole like looks thing or any of that. That doesn't really affect me or bother me. I have a really close relationship with my brother and we're a really tight family and I just don't want to tick off, you know, the kind of the newlywed wife they've been. They got married this year and it's kind of. You can. You can see that the family has definitely shifted. And yeah, the last thing I need to do is lose my, you know, lose my ace in the hole because she. I don't know if she even really likes me that much. I think she's more trying to set me up with her friends just to give me a reason not be around their house all the time, you know?

[Melissa]

Okay, so. And you're feeling like it's going good or.

[Blake]

Oh, yeah, the relationship's going or the. Well, it's not really a relationship yet, but so far it's been going great. Having a Lot of fun going out. She's really smart. She's. Let's see. We have similar. I don't want to reveal too much, but we have similar backgrounds in, like, in schooling and travel and stuff. And. No, it's really going well. The hardest thing so far has been trying not to be a prick, because that's normally kind of what I'll do in the first stages of dating is kind of be a slight jerk, you know, so that they. I don't know. It's just the kind of. Yeah, just kind of like the give and take in the early stage of the game. You don't want them to think that, you know, you're too head over heels for them or anything. But in this case, I kind of have to be a lot nicer than I'm used to. But is it.

[Melissa]

Is it. Is being nicer more natural, or have you been doing the player thing, act like a jerk for so long, that becomes more natural?

[Blake]

Yes. Yes. I would say option B all the way. Yeah. Because I think of myself as kind of. Kind of a guy who will think about, like, you know, doing something romantic or doing something sweet or trying to remember things, but, you know, if that fails nine times out of ten, and the other route will get you someone to go home with you that night, we're just gonna. We kind of have to go with the option that works, you know, so it is kind of nice being able to have that freedom to just treat them the way, you know, treat a girl the way I think I naturally would do it. But it is throwing me off my game a little bit, for sure.

[Burt]

Are you making any, like, dating style resolutions for 2008? Like, maybe a different. Different type of woman or a different technique or a different way to treat people?

[Blake]

Well, I tried out. I tried out, like, doing. Doing the good girl thing, doing the girl next door thing, and I kind.

[Carlos]

Of blew up in my face.

[Melissa]

What do you mean, doing the girl next door?

[Blake]

All right, all right. Well, it had come down before. Okay, this is all before Diana, but it had come down. There were these two girls that I was thinking, one that I basically picked up at a bar, and then the other that I had kind of developed this kind of relationship over a couple of weeks, actually a couple of months. And she was definitely the sweet girl, the girl with morals, the girl with values. Definitely the person that, you know, I would be. I would have been crazy to let slip away. But I ended up going with her, and then we had a whole. It was a whole explosion at Thanksgiving. I Had to go and have Thanksgiving with her parents, and it was weird and creepy and then wanted me to, like. She wanted me to commit and not even commit hardcore just to say that we were a couple and that I wasn't going to go out looking for other women. And I kind of valued our relationship on me being 100% honest and saying, you know, I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. I really like you, and we have a lot of fun, but I still want to go out, and I still want to, you know, just have fun. And I don't want to, like. I don't want to put a label on what we are.

[Melissa]

Wanted to label it after how many.

[Blake]

Dates this was probably. We've been seeing each other probably for two and a half months, three months.

[Jeff]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Melissa]

Well, that makes a little more sense.

[Burt]

That's. That's appropriate labeling time, right?

[Jen]

Yeah, it is for a girl, I think. Yeah. I mean, there's going to be some expectation, I think, of having a definition, you know.

[Blake]

Yeah, absolutely. And that's why I kind of. I kind of decided, yeah, right. Well, you know, we'll. I'll go and have, I guess, Thanksgiving brunch with your parents, and that's a good label, right? I mean, for serious and committed. And then just telephone conversations after that, because it was a complete catastrophe. But after that, the telephone conversations turned to more arguments and. And. Yeah. So maybe I feel maybe I just. I'm better off with the girls I pick up from the bar. And that's one of the reasons I'm a little freaked out about this Diana situation. If I screw up, if I make a wrong move or if I offend someone or go the wrong route, and it's just someone that I just casually met, then I don't really care about that. But when you're dealing with someone who you have a little respect for and you think of as a good person and a sweet girl, you can't get off the telephone after having a screaming match and say, you know, that B. I can't believe, you know her. She's so wrong about this. You hang up the phone and you say, yes, she's kind of right. I was kind of a jerk. And that's not fun.

[Jen]

Well, but you know what, Blake? I mean, one of the reasons that you're taking the time to write the blog and kind of give women insight into a guy's mind is because that is what a guy has in his mind. I mean, I think that, you know, we were just defending her stance But I think women need to understand that commitment for guys is a really hot topic and a really scary topic. Right.

[Blake]

It really can be. I do know some guys out there.

[Burt]

That any sort of commitment, even name, even in naming or a label, is considered commitment.

[Blake]

Yeah. And actually, we've put the email address for people to write in to me now. I've got a huge, huge response to that. I've really been surprised. And a lot of the questions coming in are from girls in Atlanta that are saying, you know, my guys, he's not willing to commit. I mean, people that have been dating for a year, year and a half, they still. The girl still feels like he's not ready to go into this relationship 100%. It's been a year, you know, and they're worried. They're like, is he cheating on me?

[Nicole]

Is he just not interested in me?

[Blake]

Am I just someone he can sleep with on a Friday night or Saturday night?

[Caller/Listener 1]

And you're right.

[Blake]

It's a big. For a guy. Some guys can never really quite make it.

[Burt]

Hey, Blake, you know what you should do is pick out some of the more interesting of those emails. People who have questions that you can address and have, like, two or three of them ready to address, email them to Tracy, and then we'll have you come back on the air and we'll read lines from the emails and have you address those questions.

[Blake]

That would be great. That would be great.

[Burt]

Awesome.

[Jen]

Well, happy new Year, Blake, guys.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Happy New Year.

[Blake]

And when Bird gets back on, my hope he'll be feeling better. And I'll talk to you guys soon.

[Burt]

Good luck with. What do we call her? Diana?

[Blake]

Right, we'll call her Diana.

[Burt]

Good luck with Diana. All right.

[Blake]

Maybe I won't screw it up.

[Melissa]

Mr. Commitment Phobe.

[Blake]

I know, right?

[Burt]

See you later, Brett. Blake, you can go to allthehitsq100.com you can see his blog postings, and you can also see his email address where you can email Blake and ask him your questions. And like we just said, he'll come on the air next couple weeks and address those questions that have been received at his blog, the Burt Show.

[Jeff]

And when you need advice on an ethical question, call the Burt Show. We've always.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Nicole, you are on the voice disguiser. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

How are you today?

[Nicole]

Pretty good, thank you.

[Jeff]

What's going on? A little stressed out about work.

[Nicole]

Yeah, it's just got a little crazy real fast.

[Jeff]

What you got?

[Nicole]

I work at this pediatric center. I just recently started there. It's just been drama ever since I basically got there.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Nicole]

And a month ago, say, probably a month or two ago, my supervisor was going back and forth with one of the nurses in the back.

[Burt]

What do you mean going back? What do you mean, going back and forth?

[Nicole]

She really doesn't like the girl that works in the back, so she was really trying to get rid of her. She, you know, trying to find something on her. But the girl, she's good at what she do, so it's really, you know, I don't know. I just didn't want to get involved with it. So every time she would discuss it, I either walk away, just go back to my desk, or just leave the situation alone. She comes to me while I'm sitting at my desk. She corners me with one of her and said, nicole, I need for you to do something for me. And I'm like, oh, God, you know, because I know it's just something that I don't want to even get involved with.

[Melissa]

And this is your supervisor coming to you?

[Nicole]

Yes, this is my supervisor. And she said, I'm still looking at my computer. I'm trying not to even give her eye contact because I know it's something.

[Jeff]

It's a little bit like the teacher when he's asking about the homework assignment the night before. You just look down. They won't even pick you.

[Nicole]

So she said, nicole, I need you to look at me. And I'm like. I said, yes. She said, you know that me. And I don't. I don't want to call the girl's name out, okay? Me. And so. And so supposed to have a meeting with the doctors, and the doctors may come to you and ask you some things about her. And I need for you to say whatever bad thing you can think of about her.

[Burt]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

Oh, God. You know, And I'm thinking, please walk away.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Please.

[Nicole]

I couldn't get out because I'm at my desk, and I'm like, don't ask me to do this. And I said, I don't want to get involved. And she said, nicole, you don't understand what I'm asking you to do. And I said, yes, I do understand what you're asking me to do. I just don't want to get involved. She was like, well, I need this from you. She's causing a lot of problems in the back, and if the doctors hear it from you, I think they would just really listen at this and see what they can do about it. And I just don't want her here anymore. And I'm like, you know. So I said, look, I understand the situation. I just don't want to get involved. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I just don't want to get involved.

[Melissa]

Good for you.

[Nicole]

So she says to me, well, if this person comes to you and you have a problem with her, who would you go to? I said, I will come to my supervisor, which is her. She said, well, as your supervisor, I will no longer fight your batteries for you.

[Blake]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole]

So I'm like. I said, I don't know what to do. I just don't want to get involved. So I didn't. And ever since then, I mean, it has just been problem after problem with her and myself.

[Jeff]

You know, the easy answer is, go to HR with it. Or you should have gone to HR with it in the very beginning. But I think there's always this underlying thought that HR doesn't work for you. HR works for the management. Even though we have had HR people on before. That said, that's just really not the case. Truth. But I think you always kind of feel like it's there on that side, not your side. They're not there really to mediate.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Do you guys even have hr?

[Nicole]

No.

[Caller/Listener 1]

That's what I was about to say.

[Nicole]

The problem with that is we don't have an hr. She is the supervisor, and after her, there's a doctor. I work for three doctors. So I. It took me a minute to see which one I can trust the most to go with it and tell them about it before, you know, because I don't know what the relationship is. I am new there. But eventually I did. I went to one of the doctors. She said she was going to watch the situation, and she was, you know, absolutely floored about it. She couldn't believe it either, but she had had someone come to her and tell her certain things had been going on.

[Burt]

So.

[Nicole]

But it's been, like I said now, two months, and she's just making my job miserable. Just a week ago was the first time I've ever taken out, don't call, and never late anything. And my divorce finalized last month, so I had to take off to go to court that day. She calls me later on that evening and said that immediately. When you get back on Thursday, your time, your hours have changed. And I'm like, what? So it's just like this all the time.

[Jeff]

And so she's just making your job and your life really, really tough now because you won't go to bed for her on this.

[Melissa]

So what do you do? This woman was trying to pick on the one girl in the back that she wanted to get fired, and now it's like she's picking on you.

[Jeff]

404-741-1005. You have any advice?

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Jeff]

In a case like this, you know, I mean, she. She's gonna get her way. The supervisor is gonna get her way. And there's no HR to back you up on this whole thing.

[Blake]

No.

[Melissa]

How. How could she expose the supervisor in writing somehow? You know what I mean? That's what she needs is something via email or something in writing that she could forward to the doctors or print out and take to the doctors and be like, this is how she's intimidating me, and this is how she's treating me unfairly. But have it somehow in writing. Because the he said, she said thing.

[Burt]

But that. That could backflam.

[Nicole]

I thought about that also. Me and my sister, we've been going over this back and forth, and she has access to our encounters. So whatever encounters, we send it go through her first. She can get to it.

[Blake]

And.

[Nicole]

Well, if you do.

[Jen]

If you do anything like that, you have to copy her on it. Only because I think it always looks bad from a supervisor standpoint if you jump a level to complain about somebody.

[Melissa]

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying expose the supervisor for the behavior that she's exhibiting right now in email.

[Jen]

I agree, but she has to copy that supervisor on that email because if she just goes to the doctors and not to the supervisor, she's gonna look petty.

[Melissa]

You're not understanding what I'm saying. What I'm saying is get the supervisor to intimidate her on an email so that then she has that in writing. You know what I'm saying?

[Jen]

I didn't understand that.

[Melissa]

Not to contact the doctors without her knowing about it, but actually have some sort of conversation exchange with the intimidating supervisor and have it documented so she's got some proof.

[Jeff]

I just got some advice for you. And then Birchill Listener Kristen was in the exact same situation, and she may be able to help you out in a sec.

[Burt]

Here's what you need to do, is when you get a few minutes, go to a computer with Internet access, open up your word processor, update your resume, and then go to one of the job websites and post your resume on that website and wait for a new job offer to come in and then take it, because.

[Nicole]

Well, no, I'm way ahead of you. I've already done that. But I'm in a new field, so I need to put in my. At least a year in what I'm doing. So I have done it, though. I have put the resumes in. It's just.

[Blake]

I'm waiting.

[Nicole]

I'm sitting and waiting.

[Burt]

You need. What you need to do is get out of where you are. Because you work in such a small office that I think following. I mean, I would say the chances are far better than good that if you get this piece of evidence and you take it to the doctors, and the supervisor's been working with the doctors forever, and they have their systems in place and they have everything, you know, set up and in place or whatever, and you go to the doctors with that evidence, they're gonna say, well, this girl's gonna be a troublemaker. So here we have. Yep. So. And you'll be gone.

[Jeff]

So let me get Kristen on with you here. Hey, Kristen. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Hey.

[Jeff]

Hey. How are you?

[Nicole]

Good.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Well, I was in the same situation whenever I. Right now I'm a cna. And whenever I got my first job after my certification, I had this nurse at the nursing home I was working at who was just hell on two feet. Every single thing that I did, she found something wrong with it, and she was trying to do things to get me written up with different residents, whenever I was making rounds, making beds, everything. And so eventually, I got tired of it because I was prn, but I got tired of it and found another job. But if you want to keep your job, I would suggest that you write a letter detailing everything that's been going on so that no one can twist your words around and give that to her boss and explain that you don't want to cause any problems, but that it's been going on and it's wrong. And whenever it was going on with me, I talked to different nurses about it. And there was one nurse who even told me that he could see that it was going on, that she was actually picking on me. So the chances are someone else is going to be able to tell and they can back you up.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Most are calling up saying, maybe it's just time to get out of there. Let me take one more call. And we're trying to get our HR guy from our entourage.

[Burt]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff]

But it's going right to voicemail. Remember that dude we had on a couple of weeks ago?

[Burt]

Maybe he got fired and he's sleeping late.

[Jeff]

He was so good.

[Burt]

Like, if he gets in trouble at her work who's got his back?

[Jeff]

Hey, Jancy, you're on Q100. You'll be the last call on this. Then we got to move on.

[Nicole]

Oh, I understand.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I had a situation with a boss that was just absolutely harassing me and different ways. And I understand when they say to do things in writing, but I'll be honest with you. Once you do that and make a formal claim to hr, then they'll come after you in different ways. It may not be that way, but I've seen it happen. So what I ended up having to do, even though I made a formal written complaint to hr, then other things started happening to me. So I took a small digital recorder and put it in a inconspicuous place, and whenever things would happen, I would turn it on and have those phone conversations to where they basically themselves over a matter of time. And a lot of people in the state of Georgia think recording someone is illegal. But honestly, in the state of Georgia, if one party knows that they're being recorded, which obviously was myself, then it is legal. So once that came to light, and I actually made a copy of the tape and sent it to hr and they actually could see what was going on, then things changed, and my supervisor was fired. So, you know, sometimes you just have to resort to those type of tactics to put in a situation like that.

[Jeff]

I want to get that. That Georgia law from you one more.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Time in the state of Georgia. And I work with a lot. I work in the insurance industry for professional liability, so I do have a lot of, you know, lawyer friends. And when I had the situation present itself, I ran this past several of my lawyer friends. And in the state of Georgia, you can record conversation with someone as long as one party knows they're being recorded. And that one party, of course, is yourself. And that's how a lot of these divorce lawyers get a lot of dirt on the other parties that they're divorcing by using this type of.

[Blake]

On Georgia.

[Jeff]

Well, that will certainly change the way we do business if it's true.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Well, I wish the caller much luck, and, you know, I hope that maybe it turns out for her you can.

[Melissa]

Tell how passionate you are about it.

[Jeff]

That you've gone through it. Well, I mean, if you've gone into that situation, your back's in a corner there and you want to stay at the gig, but they're making it impossible for you. All right, Nicole, good luck with it.

[Nicole]

Thank you.

[Jeff]

You know what? We have our entourage guy, our HR guy from our entourage. So let me give him one Minute because this guy is so good. His name is Carlos, and we have this entourage that if you're an expert in one area, that when we need you, you just call us up and we throw it to you. And I'm hoping he was listening to your whole situation here. Hey, Carlos.

[Carlos]

Yes, I just cut in.

[Blake]

Okay.

[Carlos]

What's the situation?

[Jeff]

Hey, Nicole, we got to do this quickly, so give him the 32nd version of it.

[Nicole]

I'm just in a situation at work. I work with my supervisor, her sister.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Her best friend, and it's just been chaos ever since.

[Nicole]

She asked me to do something that I felt uncomfortable doing, and now it's just chaos with me and her.

[Burt]

Specifically, she's asking her to be misleading and even lie about the performance of another employee.

[Carlos]

I wouldn't do it because she is liable for what's called refuge because she's falsifying records. So in those circumstances, she should not do it. She should document the fact that the supervisor has requested that of her and put it, like I said, email to yourself or, you know, certified mail to yourself and to the HR department.

[Burt]

Go with it.

[Jeff]

They don't have an HR department.

[Carlos]

There is still. No. There is still. Then her immediate supervisor or the most senior management personnel at that site. But there has to be an HR representative somewhere in the company.

[Jeff]

You've given this advice before where you email yourself along with the highest supervisor in the company, just so it's all documented for everybody to see.

[Carlos]

Right, right. And then you protect yourself from what's called retaliation. You then have a basis. If you are fired, you can go back to them and get some type of damages or at least, you know, pose the legal threat of, you know, a lawsuit. It protects you. It's still a very hostile work environment. And I'm sure what I heard somebody else say is best to get out. Yes, I would suggest you get out. It's soon as possible. The situation does not turn around once you do this.

[Jeff]

Thank you, Carlos. Appreciate it.

[Nicole]

Thank you.

[Jeff]

All right, Nicole. There you go.

[Nicole]

I appreciate it. Thank you.

[Jeff]

That guy sounds so legitimate to me. Doesn't he sound so. Like his voice sounds so by the book?

[Burt]

I know. If I ever have a problem here, I'm going to email him. I know.

[Jeff]

Like, the guy never drives over 55 miles an hour.

[Burt]

You know, the bird show.