Full Show PT 1: Monday, March 16 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show: Full Show PT 1 – Monday, March 16 [Vault]

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings together hosts Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the rest of the cast for a lively, candid morning radio experience. The focus is on real listener stories and debates, veering from raw, sometimes uncomfortable honesty about wedding party selections, to the generational conflict of living under a parent’s roof, and finally, to marital disputes over charitable giving. As always, the conversation is peppered with humor and authentic exchanges, inviting listeners to reflect, laugh, and – sometimes – cringe.

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1. Who Makes the Cut? Wedding Party Drama

[01:00 – 12:02]

Main Theme:
Why people leave friends out of their wedding parties—honest (and sometimes superficial) confessions.

Key Discussion Points:

• The trigger: A listener notes Intern Joanna Rodriguez (former Hooters girl and “very beautiful,” [01:17, Speaker C]) was not at her brother’s wedding. This sparks a debate on people purposely excluding friends from wedding parties based on appearances.
• Numerous callers, under voice disguise, admit to choosing bridesmaids and groomsmen for aesthetic reasons—“too pretty,” “too plain,” “doesn’t fit the look.”
• Some even confess to dropping friends due to weight or because they were pregnant.
• The hosts react with a mix of humor, disbelief, and empathy, acknowledging how widespread this secret practice is.

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• Brandi (Caller) on her wedding party criteria:
  “I wanted all of my bridesmaids to be like between a two and a six… I left another girl out because she is way too pretty.”
  [01:55 – 02:17]

• Host A (sarcastically):
  “They can't look too good, can't be too fat, can't look too good.”
  [02:42 – 02:46]

• Sarah (Caller) on being booted for pregnancy:
  “I got pregnant and she told me that it would not look right and kicked me out of the wedding party.”
  [04:47 – 05:10]

• Host C:
  “You sound like a dog would look with his tail between his legs, like, oh no, I'm in trouble.”
  [04:40 – 04:47]

• Emily (Caller) on her ‘momzilla’:
  “My mom just said, ‘Well, I’m paying for the pictures. I don’t want her in it because it’s so unattractive.’”
  [08:18 – 08:49]

• Melissa (Caller):
  “I made sure they were bigger than me and I looked better.”
  [10:55 – 11:08]

Host Banter:

• Host B:
  “If you're fat and you're from Florida, give us a call right now. We won't get one call.”
  [11:35 – 11:47]

Segment Summary:

The segment is a blend of brutal honesty and comedic riffing on the vanity that can underpin wedding decisions. It ends with the tongue-in-cheek reassurance to Intern Joanna:
“Congratulations. That's your story and stick to it.” [11:59 – 12:01]

---

2. Old School Values vs. Modern Living: Moving Back with Parents

[12:08 – 22:34]

Main Theme:
A couple faces classic generational tension: Is it right for a mother to demand her daughter and boyfriend sleep in separate rooms if they move in together, even if they pay rent?

Key Discussion Points:

• Caller Mandy shares her financial struggles, needing to move in with her mother, who insists on separate rooms despite charging rent ([12:08 – 13:22]).
• Mandy and her boyfriend (recently laid off) feel it should be a business transaction since they’re paying.
• The Bert Show family and callers weigh in overwhelmingly on “her house, her rules,” but also touch on feelings of respect, adult independence, and the clash between generational values.

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• Host B:
  “If you're going to live under her roof, you gotta live with her rules.”
  [14:21 – 14:33]

• Latoya (Caller):
  “Either respect your mom and live by her rules... or baby, do it on your own.”
  [17:13 – 17:22]

• TC (Caller, humorously):
  “...just invest in some gift cards to restaurants, send the parents out to eat dinner a couple of nights a week, and you’ll be good.”
  [17:56 – 18:02]

• Host D:
  “You know what they've done. Your mom's done her time as a mother... She's offering an adult transaction.”
  [21:00 – 21:21]

• Rob (Caller, only dissenting view):
  “This is 2009, for God's sake… if she wants to make it a business transaction, then it's a business transaction.”
  [20:20 – 21:00]

Segment Summary:

Consensus is reached that if you move in with your parents, it comes with their rules, especially if they're helping you out. The segment also underscores generational divides and the shifting norms around cohabitation.

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3. How Much is Too Much? Charity, Tithing, and Marital Money Fights

[22:41 – 31:11]

Main Theme:
The hosts dissect a less-discussed but real source of family and marital conflict: differences in charitable giving, with a nod to spiritual and practical implications.

Key Discussion Points:

• Inspired by Andy Stanley’s sermon, the team explores friction when one partner wants to donate (money or time) much more than the other ([22:41 – 23:42]).
• Host A admits to generous (sometimes random) giving, while his wife prefers select, meaningful donations ([24:08 – 24:30]).
• Female callers repeatedly admit to over-donating, sometimes to the detriment of their own families.
• One caller (Sally) reveals she gave up a semester’s tuition so a friend could attend law school ([26:27 – 26:41]).
• Host curiosity: Why do only women call in about over-donating?

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• Host B:
  “I had never heard this as a source of tension in a relationship before, where one person has given away too much.”
  [23:48 – 23:55]

• Sally (Caller):
  “In college, I gave my tuition so my friend could go [to law school].”
  [26:27 – 26:41]

• Brenda (Caller):
  “My husband and I just had a huge argument yesterday about going to church because he feels it's all about money…The Bible says 10%. And he's like, why do I have to give 10%?”
  [28:29 – 29:01]

• Jennifer (Caller):
  “Her dad gave his entire salary every month back to the church where he was a preacher and his wife hated it because they couldn’t pay their bills.”
  [29:31 – 29:55]

• Rebecca (Caller):
  “My ex-husband sometimes doesn’t pay his child support because he first pays his tithe to the church…even if it means not having enough for our son.”
  [30:14 – 30:52]

Host Banter:

• Host A:
  “If I was broke, I'd still donate. I'm buying karma, people. I do a lot of damage in actions that I'm going to try to buy my way into heaven.”
  [25:43 – 25:54]

Segment Summary:

The subject triggers passionate, thoughtful, and sometimes humorous discussion about altruism, priorities, faith, and family needs. There’s exploration of the boundary between healthy generosity and self-neglect, as well as who decides what’s “enough.”

---

Notable Overarching Themes & Tone

• Brutal Honesty: Guests and hosts openly confess to unflattering motivations and difficult family situations, giving the show an authentic, confessional feel.
• Humor in Discomfort: Even as personal stories are shared, the mood remains light, with hosts quick to lampoon themselves and the situations.
• Generational and Gender Rifts: The episode surfaces ongoing tensions between modern and traditional values, especially in family roles and expectations.
• Real-Life Reflection: Listeners are nudged to reconsider how they treat friends, family, and their own values.

---

Selected Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:00-12:02| Wedding party exclusions (looks, weight, "momzilla," and self-esteem) | | 12:08-22:34| Moving back home as an adult: boundaries, respect, and old-school family values | | 22:41-31:11| Couples and charity: tension over donations, tithing, and personal sacrifice |

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The Bert Show: Still serving “laughs while bringing you into our world,” with conversations that are at once cringe-worthy, relatable, and deeply human.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Intern Joanna Rodriguez. She's not at her brother's wedding. And somebody called up and made an interesting observation that intern Joanna, as we told you guys earlier, used to be a Hooters girl. And I think the general statement is if you're a Hooters girl, you got to be pretty good looking.

[C]

Well, intro Joanna is beautiful girl.

[B]

She's very beautiful girl. So the accusation was maybe she was left out because she's too good looking. So I'm asking the question. Is there anybody bold enough to admit we'll put you on the voice disguiser. That you purposely left somebody out of your wedding because they were either too good looking or not good looking enough.

[D]

The phone lines are lit up.

[B]

I'm sad. We will call her Brandi. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[E]

Good morning.

[B]

Good morning.

[D]

Good morning.

[E]

How are you all today?

[B]

Good. We're looking for some honesty. You about to give it to us?

[E]

I do. I have a little bit. It sounds so superficial, but it's. I mean. Well, it kind of is a little superficial.

[B]

It's very superficial actually.

[E]

I left one girl out called lover to death. But I wanted all of my bridesmaids to be like between a two and a six.

[B]

You mean brides wise.

[D]

Who the hell fits in two to six?

[E]

Sorry. And then I left another girl out because she is way too pretty.

[C]

So you did both?

[E]

I did both.

[C]

One was too pretty and one was too ugly for you.

[E]

I mean, I didn't want to look back at my pictures and think, like, oh, my gosh, she totally shined. You know, overshined me.

[B]

So you literally in the process of thinking who was going to be in your wedding? It wasn't, who am I closest to? Who will I know for the next 20 years? It was literally, they've got to be between a two and a six, and they have to be. They have to look a certain way.

[A]

They can't look too good, can't be too fat, can't look too good.

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

Are you friends still with any of the women that were in your bridal party?

[E]

Yes. Mm.

[B]

All of them.

[C]

What about the. What about the two that you left out?

[E]

Still? I mean, it wasn't like it was public knowledge. It was just. I didn't. I didn't even tell my husband.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

They had to be skinny and average in order to get into your wedding.

[B]

She is not the only one. Wow. Good morning, Erin. You're on the voice disguiser.

[E]

Hello.

[B]

Hello.

[E]

I actually had a girl in our wedding, but I kicked her out after I thought about it some because she was a lot older and not so good looking and was kind of not nice. So I kicked her out.

[A]

Well, then that conversation.

[D]

Yeah. You invited her and then disinvited her.

[E]

I did. She was really, really kind of a. You ever met women that are just kind of bullish? She was kind of a bully. And after I thought about it some more, I was like, I just don't like her. And she's ugly and she's old. So I could. Girl.

[F]

Oh, geez.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

How did she react to that? And what did. What did you use as the excuse?

[E]

I just told her there was an incident where I had just. She had been rude, rude, rude, rude, rude. So there was finally, like, a straw that broke the camel's back, or however you say it. And I just got enough. And I just told her. I was like, you're really mean, and I don't want you around me on my special day.

[B]

Well, okay. At least there was something a little bit more than just her being old and ugly.

[C]

It had something to do with personality.

[E]

Like, that helped it a little bit.

[B]

That's a tough trifecta right there. Rude, old, and ugly.

[A]

Sorry, you can't be at my wedding. How come? Well, I've noticed that you're a little rude. Oh, all right, I'm sorry.

[B]

I can confess.

[A]

You're also old. Okay, I get it. I'm not gonna be. And you're ugly. Oh, my God. Stop. Where is there a bridge?

[B]

I Can jump off and you smell.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Good morning. Sarah will call you. You are on the voice disguiser. Hi.

[E]

Hi.

[B]

Hey. You sound like a dog would look with his tail between his legs, like, oh, no, I'm in trouble.

[E]

No, this has been. It's got to have been almost. Almost 20 years. This girl was my best friend. Supposedly we'd known each other for about five years. And I was asked to be in the wedding party and the dresses were being picked out and everything. And then I got pregnant and she told me that it would not look right and kick me out of the wedding party.

[B]

So you got pregnant and then got kicked out of the wedding party. And she told her.

[C]

Oof. See, I know women that have ducked out when they got pregnant because it was gonna be too close to their due date. And if the baby came early, then they might have missed the wedding anyway. So I know women that have done that, but never. And I also know another woman who had to buy two bridesmaids dresses because she bought one in a small size and she got pregnant while they were planning the wedding. She had to buy a second one with more material. But I've never heard of anybody being kicked out for having a baby.

[B]

Sarah, what were the exact words she used?

[E]

Well, she was crying and she told me how much she cared about me and what a good friend I was and said that it just wouldn't look right.

[A]

I mean, we get a phone call.

[C]

I mean, for all intents and purposes, isn't that why you get married, to eventually have a family?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but not at the altar. I don't want any fat girls up at the altar. I get married. So I got good looking wedding pictures.

[B]

We've got a whole bunch of these to go through, including one call that I'll take from somebody. We're going to call Emily in a second whose mom is keeping the ugly ones out of her wedding.

[A]

We got a phone call years ago. I don't know if you all remember this. Remember the girl wanted to kick somebody out of her wedding because she got a tattoo on her shoulder. Or she learned of the tattoo on her shoulder and the way the wedding dress was cut, it was like whatever it's called, where it goes like that.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And it would expose the tattoo. And she's like, ah, that's a little too ride for me.

[B]

So bye bye for that.

[A]

And called us up to find out the proper way to boot her friend out of the wedding.

[B]

Hey, Stephanie, good morning. You're on the voice disguiser.

[E]

Good morning. I had all my Bridesmaids who are pretty thin. So was I. Designer gowns, all strapless, and the one girl was a size 28. They didn't make the gown in her size, and the other girls were unwilling to change it, and I was, too, but she's still one of my best friends. I love her to death, but I was really relieved she backed out of the wedding.

[B]

Oh, she backed out?

[C]

Why? Because of the.

[E]

She couldn't find the dress in her closet.

[B]

That must have been so embarrassing for her. What a hurtful day.

[E]

Seriously, I feel horrible.

[B]

Still, you're lucky that she backed out, I guess, and you didn't have to.

[E]

I guess so. But I feel kind of rotten because she's been a part of every important moment in my life. 3. Three kids later and everything, and she's still there. And the other ones kind of aren't.

[B]

Would you have told her that she couldn't be part of the wedding had she not backed out?

[E]

I wouldn't have told her. I would have, I don't know, figured out a way to change the dress or something. I was trying to talk to the boutique that carried the gown to see if they could have it made for her in time. She was going to lose weight and everything, and she just finally said, I don't think it's going to happen. I can't lose the weight. And she hasn't ever lost weight. And I don't know.

[B]

That's sad, because that must have been. That must have been, like, one of the lowest days of her life, too. And I have to call my best friend and say, look, they just don't make the dress in my size. I can't be part of this. That must be terrible. All right, how about Emily here, whose mom is. Is filtering out? Who can be in the wedding and who can't be in the wedding? Hey, Emily.

[E]

Hello. Yes, she is. I recently got engaged, and I haven't set a wedding date yet. But I've got three best friends. Two from high school and one from college. Two of the girls favor each other. They're both tall and thin and long blonde hair. And my other friend, I've known her the longest. She's real short on the heavier side. And my mom just said, well, I'm paying for the pictures. I don't want her in it because it's so attractive. The bad part about it is the girl that she wants to kick out, I was in her wedding.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And you don't feel like you can stand up to moms because she's Paying for it. Right.

[E]

No, I mean, I understand what she's saying. She's like, I'm paying for him. It's gonna be a moment in time that's, you know, forever. But I just feel so terrible. I don't even know where to start.

[C]

You have a momzilla on your hands.

[B]

Wow. Serious.

[A]

That is what it is.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So many different angles on this man. How about somebody that drops out like volunteers because she doesn't think she's attractive enough? Oh, Nisa, go ahead. You're on Q100 to get her to

[A]

send us a picture.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

I got married a few years back, and it was a Small Wayne, so I only had two bridesmaids, and I'm. I'm kind of petite figure. And one of my bridesmaids was also. I mean, she's like, beautiful. She's like 5 11, blonde hair. She's a. She's a knockout. But then I had one other friend who is actually my maid of honor, who is very heavy set. She's not anymore, actually. But at the time, she was. And she came to me crying a few days after we all went shopping for bridesmaids dresses and told me how she just. She couldn't stand the thought of having to stand up there beside me and my other friend.

[E]

Aw.

[D]

And she's the maid of honor?

[F]

Yeah, she was. So she ended up dropping out. I felt so horrible. And of course, she was still a guest at the wedding, but, yeah, it was. It was very sad. I felt so horrible for her. But, I mean, I wasn't. I didn't. I didn't harbor any hard feelings or anything because, you know, I wanted her to want to be in it, so she's gonna feel bad about herself.

[C]

Did you try to convince her to stay in it when she told you?

[F]

Oh, of course I did. Yes. I told her that didn't matter, that I thought she was. I thought she was beautiful. And that what mattered to me was that, you know, she was there. And she's just like, this is just. She's always been very self conscious about her weight, and so it just mattered too much to her. That's so sad.

[B]

It is, man. And here's Melissa. Good morning, Melissa. You're on Q100. Hi.

[E]

Hi.

[B]

Hey.

[E]

I was years back. I've been divorced since working on my second one. But the first wedding I had, I actually made them. Made sure that they were bigger than me and I looked better.

[B]

So you purposely chose the women that were larger than you to be in your wedding party?

[E]

Yeah. Yeah, that Was, like, real skinny. See, I'm from Florida, so I know that they ain't gonna hear this, but. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I know they won't hear you.

[D]

I'm real skinny, see, so I'm from Florida,

[A]

George.

[F]

Girls are fat.

[B]

Land of nothing but skinny people.

[D]

So then everybody got in their cars and are driving.

[B]

If you're fat and you're from Florida, give us a call right now. We won't get one call. We finally found the one topic and we seriously could have done this for days. I was kicked out of the wedding because I'm not attractive enough.

[F]

Oh, man.

[B]

I was kicked out of the wedding photo because they said I was too big. We could have done this forever. Sucks, man.

[A]

Well, it's a bummer for them, but the good news is for our intern, Joanna, she's too hot to be in her brother's wedding.

[B]

Congratulations. That's your story and stick to it.

[A]

Nicely done.

[D]

Stick to it.

[A]

The Burt Show.

[B]

We are gonna call her Mandy. Hey, Mandy.

[E]

Hey.

[B]

Hey. How are you today?

[E]

I'm okay. How are you?

[B]

So you're feeling the economy in a different kind of way, huh?

[F]

Yeah. Yeah. I live with my boyfriend and he has been laid off. And I wait tables. So, you know, the economy kind of just sucks and tips aren't what they used to be and all this stuff.

[E]

So.

[F]

So it's kind of bad right now. And we've been laid on rent a couple of times and our landlord has already been like, you know, guys, this isn't working. You know, whatever. You're going to need to find a new place when your lease is up. And my lease is up now. So my mom, you know, knows that things are bad right now. And she was like, you know, you can move in here. There's plenty of space. But she's, you know. And I understand she wants to charge us rent. She wants to charge us $250 a piece. And that will cover expenses, you know, utilities, whatever. But she wants us to not live in the same room she got.

[B]

She wants you to not. You have to be in separate. Live in separate rooms in her house?

[F]

Yes. And how long have y' all been dating Over. We've been living together for a year. We've been together for over two years.

[A]

So she's worried about the premarital? No. Nos.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

But she's okay with you living with him, right?

[A]

I mean, obviously not.

[B]

Yeah, somewhat.

[F]

She's okay with it. She's not thrilled, I guess.

[C]

But has she ever come over to your house together?

[F]

Has she? What has she come over to.

[C]

Has she ever come over and visited you at your house with your boyfriend or your apartment with your boyfriend?

[F]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, she likes him. She just doesn't, you know, she's old school. That's just what it is. But the thing, like, okay, it's fine that she's old school and. But, you know, she wants to charge us rent and say that we can't, you know, be in the same room. So, you know, any other landlord, you know, you pay them and you don't have any choice. I mean, they don't have any say you have in your room or not.

[B]

You know, the problem here is you have zero leverage. You got nothing. I mean, yeah, you're totally right. It's her house, and if you're going to stay there, I mean, it's the old cliche, but if you're going to live under her roof, you got to live with her rules.

[F]

And she says the thing is, you know, I'm living under her roof and paying her rent. And it really is helping her out as much as it's, you know, helping. I mean, it's definitely helping us out.

[E]

No doubt.

[D]

You don't sound very appreciative.

[F]

I'm totally. I mean, you know, we don't have anywhere else to go, so I really do appreciate it. But I also, you know, I love my boyfriend. Just because we're not married, you know, I don't. I don't know that I want to get married ever. You know, she's. My mother is divorced, so I could totally under.

[A]

I 1000% understand, but you're. I mean, it's the my house, my rules thing, and it is different, even though you are. I understand your argument that you're paying rent and it sucks, but if you're. I mean, you could find it. You go look for another place at 500 bucks a month. If you find one, you do it all you want.

[C]

What is your boyfriend think about it?

[F]

Oh, he was really angry.

[C]

Angry.

[B]

Angry.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah. He. I mean, he thinks it's low, and he thinks, you know, we're paying you rent. It's just like any other apartment. And, you know, it's kind of rough because I'm like, it's my mom. We have to respect her.

[B]

So he's looking at more like a business transaction.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And he's saying, look, if I'm paying, I should be able to do what I want. And your mom is saying, well, this is my house, so you guys have to do what I say.

[D]

Yeah, I Mean, it's different if your mom was charging. We had a tenant all the time and she's charging rent. But, I mean, basically, you are imposing upon her to live there, so, I mean, there's.

[F]

I don't feel like I'm imposing it upon her, though. I mean, she's the one that brought it up and she's the one that offered it.

[D]

You know, she's trying to help you out because she's your mom. Yeah, the tone just is making me less sympathetic to you as you keep talking.

[B]

Hey, Nicole, go ahead. You're part of the Burke show.

[F]

I don't understand this generation. I mean, and then your boyfriend, he doesn't have enough respect for you to get you to marry him, even though you say you don't want to marry. And he's getting mad at your mom for allowing you two to come and stay there. I wouldn't even have a man come and live with my mother if we're not married. When me and my boyfriend go and visit my mom, we sleep in separate bedrooms. Because you're not married. I mean, why don't he go to his parents house? Whatever. She wants to tell you.

[B]

Go ahead, Mandy.

[F]

I was confused. She's married, and when she goes to her parents house, they don't sleep in the same room?

[B]

Sounded like no.

[F]

Oh, that's crazy to me.

[B]

She said it was her boyfriend or she said.

[C]

She said boyfriend.

[B]

Oh, boyfriend.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

I don't think they're married.

[A]

Okay, that'd be. That'd be a problem.

[B]

Hey, latoya.

[D]

Yeah? That's different.

[F]

Good morning. I need to tell Mandy. First of all, quick griping. That is your mother, and you need to respect her. She still sees you as her daughter, and as long as you're under her roof, you live by her rules.

[E]

Period.

[F]

Dot com. If you can't live by her rules, then, baby, take that 500 and get you an apartment. Because you can. For that same 5 you2 are paying, you can live on your own. Because that's what I'm doing. I pay less than 5 for bills, rent, and utilities. Either respect your mom and live by her rules. A baby, do it on your own.

[B]

Go to doitonyourown.com period. TC what's up?

[E]

Hey, how's it going?

[B]

Good to hear from you, man.

[F]

Hey, what's going on?

[C]

Happy New Year.

[F]

Yeah, the parents got upper hand. I mean, first of all, they're not married.

[E]

And you know what?

[F]

All you need to do is just invest in some gift cards to restaurants, send the parents out to Eat the dinner a couple of nights a week

[E]

and you'll be good.

[B]

I mean, the truth is. I mean, it is an old cliche, but she makes the rules. She makes the rules. Look at it just like a business transaction. If you're going through some classified ads or whatever, right? And you were looking for an apartment and it said $500 rents, but you have to live in separate rooms, you can only have one person per room. If you didn't like that classified ad and that didn't fit your needs, you'd go on to the next classified ad. If you're looking at it just as a business transaction, if you don't like it, you got to find someplace else to go.

[C]

And if. I mean, if you don't like it, you can't fight your mom on this. You just have to respect that.

[F]

Even if I don't move in, I feel like if we don't move in, my mom is still going to be angry with me. I mean, it's just like now I feel like things are just messed up and we shouldn't have even discussed it to begin with because she knows that my boyfriend is mad and I'm not. I mean, to me it's a tough, weird kind of spot, but I'm not angry. It's just kind of like, okay, but, you know, now even if we don't live there, my mom's going to be mad.

[B]

So that's another topic. Hey, Tracy. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Hi.

[F]

This whole thing is just silly.

[E]

She's an adult.

[F]

She's a grown up. It's just like if she. If she needs her mom's help and she. I mean, she's gonna be living there, so she's gonna have to fork over something. And this whole sex thing, the boyfriend's just annoying. I mean, he's just. He's just annoying to me. So just. This is just ridiculous. I'm a parent, and I know if I put that on my kids and my daughter's. First of all, my daughter's boyfriend would not be living in my house with her because he needs to be handling his own business and taking care of business. How old is your daughter? I said, how old is your daughter? Oh, my daughter's not an adult. But I'm hoping that when she is an adult that she's handling her business. If she needs to come back home, she's not going to come back home with any craziness like this. This is ridiculous. Isn't this kind of like my mom needs Help with her mortgage too. You know what I mean? So I don't feel like it's so. I mean, I'm 25. I'm not a kid. I'm her kid. I know I'll always be her kid, but I'm not a kid. And she offered it.

[D]

And she offered her mortgage, but she offered it. She offered it with certain stipulations. And she is an adult, and that is her house.

[B]

We got one call on all the calls that came in. Everybody's saying the same thing. You got to suck it up and quit griping. Except one call. Okay, hey, Rob, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[F]

I mean, I completely agree with, with you. You know, I can see where the other callers are coming from. And unfortunately, your mom does have you between a rock and a hard place. And you know what? It's just ridiculous. I think it's completely ridiculous. You're paying her rent. All these, I just think, you know, the callers before just, you know, self righteous. This is 2009, for God's sake.

[E]

And I agree.

[F]

It's like if she wants to make it a business transaction, then it's a business transaction. Well, you know, I don't think you should move in. There are places that you can go. You know, there are places for 500. And you know what? Your mom will get over it if you don't move in. Yeah, great.

[D]

Yeah, I, you know, the thing I think that irritates me the most is that mothers are usually mothers and fathers sacrifice. But let's focus on mothers because this is what this is about, her and her mom. And mothers sacrifice for their children for a long time. And we've had the conversation on air about children coming in and moving back with their parents before. And I just feel that, you know what they've done. She's done her time, you know, she's done her time as a mother when it comes to taking care of you day in, day out. So what she's offering, she said, I see my daughter is in trouble. I will make her this offer. But it's an adult transaction. I'm not just taking you in so I can do your laundry and cook for you and take care of you. What I'm doing is charging you rent. But when you live in my house for me to stay comfortable in my own home, I don't feel comfortable with you living with your boyfriend in my home. So that's what that is the regulation here. You stay in separate rooms so that you're happy. I'm Happy. And what I hear from you is, well, she's mom. She should understand. I can't believe like there's no respect there of her as an adult woman with her own values.

[C]

And how are you going to respect your boyfriend when he moves into your mom's house? Seriously, you know what I'm saying?

[B]

You need.

[F]

But I mean, he's laid off. It's not like. It's not like he's some deadbeat boyfriend. I mean he.

[C]

I understand he's laid off, but would you guys do that? Would you move into.

[A]

To Wait.

[B]

It wouldn't be an option for me. I would find another way if.

[A]

If it was a free situation and they were completely broke. But you know, you can find $500 a month. Like you may have to move a few miles away from your comfort zone, but I think there are apartments to be had for not too much more than that.

[B]

It can be found.

[A]

You know what I mean? The BIR show,

[B]

We go to Buckhead Church and Andy Stanley, the pastor on Sunday said something in his sermon that I focused in on that I had never heard of a source of stress in a couple before. And I wanted to ask the question this morning. 404-741-Q100. He was talking about balance and he was talking about how much money you should donate and how much you should keep for yourself and how it's all really God's money, blah, blah, blah. Right. And he said that he's talked to couples before where one person in the couple wants to donate way more than the other person. And it's been a big time stress in the relationship. I had never heard that before really, where the argument is like, we are giving away too much money. Stop donating so much money to a point where it's causing a lot of friction in the family. And I wanted to ask you guys, if you're listening today, and we'll put you on the voice disguiser because you don't want to be the one to go. Yeah, my husband wants to give everything. And I'm always saying we can't. No more donating, no more charity.

[A]

You can call Jessica. Well, just like this, her and I fight about it all the time.

[B]

Do you really? I've never heard this as a source

[A]

of tension in a relationship before because I donate generously. Not generously. Well, yeah, I guess so. I donate generally speaking to. This is gonna open a floodgate. Don't email me, bring it up. Until today, I donated pretty much to anyone who would ask.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

But whereas Jessica thinks We should donate more to select causes that we feel jointly passionate about. So she will discourage the frequent smaller donations and encourage larger, more relevant donations that make sense.

[C]

It does if it's something you feel passionate about.

[A]

And I'm not only talking about money. I'm also talking about time. So sometimes I'll offer through the radio or whatever to be a part of a fundraiser or a charity or something like that, because the person involved is a friend of mine, or their letter was well written, or I was in a generous mood that day or something like that. And she will say, don't do that, because it dilutes when you do something that you really do care about. Does that make sense?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

At least you guys are on the same page that some monies should be going out. I think the way that Andy was making it sound this weekend is that there are some families that, like, one guy wants to give all the cash away and the other one is like, no, zero, no, can't do it.

[D]

But I think it depends on if you are financially strapped as a couple, because I think there's some people that even if they know that they're financially strapped, they still don't think it's. It's good for them to keep the money, you know, and take care of themselves first and give it away. So when you say that, I envision a couple who are trying to make all their payments, and then if somebody's going to whatever and decided, oh, you know, this is good for us and it'll improve our, you know, our karma, then we need to do all this and the other person's. Well, actually, we need to pay the car payment before we need to donate to this charity.

[A]

If I was broke, I'd still donate. I'm buying karma, people. I do a lot of damage in actions that I'm going to try to buy my way into heaven. You Girl Scout cookies. Give me 10 boxes. What else you got?

[B]

Hey, Sally. Go ahead. You're on the voice disguiser.

[E]

Hi.

[B]

Hi.

[E]

I'm one of those.

[D]

Which one?

[E]

I donate too much.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I, by the way, love Andy Sandley and heard that today, and I thought he was talking to me, so my face turned bright red.

[B]

Yeah, it was a great sermon, but I had never heard that as a source of tension before where one person has given away too much.

[E]

Well, I've been doing it my whole life. It's. It could be, I guess, an illness, you know, you spend too much, you donate too much.

[C]

An illness.

[E]

I don't know. I don't know. In College. I had a girlfriend who wanted to be an attorney, and I gave her my tuition and didn't go that semester, so she could go because she didn't have the money. So it started when I was young.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

That is really amazing. It's amazing.

[E]

Yeah. I just like doing things for others, and, you know, I volunteer and just do a lot and when I need to be doing some stuff at home, too.

[B]

When is the last time you and your husband got in an argument about this very thing?

[E]

I've gotten much better. So it's probably about a year ago when I was volunteering at my church. I was putting on a big dinner for a fundraiser, and I didn't charge anybody for it. I paid it out of pocket, and there were about 300 people there.

[C]

Whoa, that's an expensive tab.

[B]

That's a big pocket. That's a really big pocket.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you all have that. Do you all have that kind of money to spend? I mean, are you pretty well off?

[E]

Yeah. Yeah, we are, but, you know, we have seven children, so.

[A]

Well, good luck.

[B]

So what if one of them doesn't eat? What's the big deal? You still got six healthy ones. Now, I think it's interesting that all the calls that are coming in are all from women who say they give too much. They give too much. And it's the guys in the relationship that are on them for giving out too much.

[C]

I have a problem with it. It came up before in my life when you pull out all of the paperwork for taxes and you add it up from the last year and you hand it over to the accountant, and that's when it's come up before for me.

[B]

And you were the one that donated too much.

[C]

And it was.

[D]

The accountant said you donated too much.

[C]

No, the accountant didn't.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Because most accountants. Yeah, the most accountants will tell you to keep. To keep donating.

[B]

So I wonder if this is purely a gender thing, because there's not one guy on the phone saying, I'm the one that gives too much. And my wife is all over me. It's all women saying that their guys are on them.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Hey, Brenda, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[A]

Thanks for pointing that out.

[E]

Appreciate that.

[A]

Can I say that one more time? Because we might not have heard you the first three.

[E]

That'd be cool. Me tell you, I actually think it's quite funny and ironic this morning. My husband and I just had a huge argument yesterday about going to church because he feels it's all about money. And, you know, I'm like, well, you don't have to go and give money, but. And he says, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's all a scam. It's all a scam. And you know, The Bible says 10%. And he's like, why do I have to get 10%?

[B]

So he says, 10% is way too much.

[E]

Yeah. He's like, I'll give what I can, when I can. And I'm like, okay, that's understandable. But you know, you go to church and you hear the preacher and he talks and they ask for what they can, but he just is very adamant and not giving to the church.

[B]

She's not the only one. Good morning, Jennifer, you're on Q100.

[E]

First of all, can I say I love you guys, always?

[A]

Yeah, say it a lot. You want to say it again?

[E]

I love you guys.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

Thank you.

[E]

No, I was calling because unlike a lot of the other callers you were saying you had on, I actually had a friend in college. We'll call her Vicki. And her dad gave his entire salary every month back to the church where he was a preacher and his wife hated it because they couldn't pay their bills.

[C]

Wow. Entire salary.

[B]

The entire salary. 100% goes back to the church.

[E]

Yeah, he gave 100%. She told me about it. I guess she had a problem with it too, because then she needed money, of course, to pay for books and stuff in college. And she had to beg her grandparents for money because her dad was giving it all back to the church.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It's something I call crazy talk.

[B]

Rebecca, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hi, good morning. Yeah, I was just gonna tell you a little story about basically my ex husband. Some months he does not pay his child support on time, or there's been a couple times where he hasn't paid at all because he tells me he has to first pay his tithe to the church, which is a 10%, and he just doesn't have money that month or he's gonn late that month for that reason.

[B]

And how do you even argue with that? I mean, you can't even feel good about saying, well, can you give a little bit less to the church and a little more to your kids because you sort of feel.

[A]

Yeah, I would.

[B]

You would? I would feel bad about that.

[A]

Son of youf before Son of God. Thank you very much.

[B]

Write the check, feed your kids. Yeah. Is he. Do you think he's being honest about that, or do you think he's just using the church as his excuse?

[F]

No, actually, I do, because the church got him out of, you know, a lot of problems he had and addictions and stuff. So he feels even more so that he owes, you know, owes that to the church. But in the same sense, his son needs food on the table. And I think it's ridiculous.

[D]

I think a man that takes care of his responsibilities probably is.

[B]

You know, I think God probably looks kind of.

[A]

Hey, the bird show.