Full Show PT 1: Monday, November 10

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Monday, November 10 (2025)

Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jeff, Tracy, Melissa, Jeremy, Jenna)
Date: November 10, 2025
Podcast Description: A lively morning show blending humor, real talk, entertainment news, listener stories, and personal moments.
Episode Focus: Community partnerships (notably with Zaxby’s and Burt’s Big Adventure), unique listener call-in games (especially “Real or Fake Accent”), and check-ins with listeners whose stories have become show legends.

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Episode Overview

The episode kicks off with visits from key show partners, then segues into fun call-in challenges, before checking in with memorable listeners whose personal stories have fascinated audiences. The cast remains authentic and lighthearted while also shining a spotlight on charitable initiatives and listener participation.

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Main Segments & Discussion Points

1. Zaxby’s and Burt’s Big Adventure Partnership (01:04–08:18)

Key Points:

• Fred Weir (Zaxby’s co-op president) joins to celebrate 6 years of collaboration.
• Zaxby’s has donated over $525,000 to Burt’s Big Adventure, a charity for chronically and terminally ill children.
• Announcement of Giving Tuesday (December 2nd): Zaxby’s will match all donations on that day.
• Discussion about possibly having Bert work the Zaxby’s drive-thru as a fun listener event.

Notable Moments & Quotes:

• [01:20 | Fred Weir]: “It’s kind of bittersweet because this is kind of the last one, at least for now in this form.”
• [03:17 | Fred Weir]: “I think we’re over $525,000 to you guys and...that’s not going to stop.”
• [04:09 | Fred Weir]: “There are a lot of charities that when the cameras are on, are one way and they’re completely different… I’ve seen firsthand just how genuine you guys are.”
• [05:31 | Tracy]: “That should be the day you have your first shift in the drive-thru. Giving Tuesday, not a bad idea.”
• [06:20 | Fred Weir]: “If you really want to change your life and your perspective, give better than you get and give with no expectation in return.”

Important Dates:

• Giving Tuesday: December 2nd — all donations matched by Zaxby’s.

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2. Listener Accent Challenge & Foreign Accent Syndrome (08:23–23:26)

Key Points:

• The team discusses “Foreign Accent Syndrome,” referencing a woman who woke from a stroke with a new accent (Jamaican, Canadian, Slovakian mix).
• Replays old clips with Judy Robertson, an American who developed a British accent after a stroke and details her experience.
• The crew debates the legitimacy of these cases—are they genuine or put on?
• Listeners call in to mimic real or fake accents. Bert claims he can always tell real from fake.

Notable Quotes:

• [09:19 | Bert]: “Doctors have a name for it. It’s called Foreign Accent Syndrome.”
• [11:59 | Judy Robertson]: “An idiot would have to be an idiot to put themselves up for this.”
• [13:17 | Bert]: “Our theory here is that if you have an accent or if you’re faking it, we should be able to tell pretty easily.”

Memorable Call-in Moments:

• [14:40 | Richard]: Fakes an accent—“Yeah, you busted me. Actually, I’m half Korean, half white. It was supposed to be an Asian accent.”
• [16:03 | Natalie]: Tries a British accent—Bert guesses real, but it’s fake. “My boyfriend makes me do it all the time.”
• [18:17 | Paul]: Claims to have a Jamaican accent—cast is divided, but it turns out to be fake.
• [21:02 | Natalie]: Actually Jamaican, confuses the hosts due to her diluted accent after years in the U.S.

Running Theme:

• The show has fun with the accuracy of detecting real vs. fake accents, with everyone’s “gift” for accent detection in question by the end.

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3. Life Update: Listener Eric & His Former Stepsister (25:15–39:44)

Overview:

• The team revisits the unconventional relationship of Eric and his former stepsister, a long-running show topic.
• Recap of their story—they lived as step-siblings for eight years, lost touch after their parents divorced, then reconnected as adults and began dating.

Key Discussion Points:

• Eric and his partner now live together; both families are aware and supportive after initial awkwardness.
• Most judgment now comes from the public and some friends, not their families.
• Eric considers proposing—they’ve discussed engagement rings.
• The cast resolves not to judge or debate the relationship further, focusing on a neutral update.

Memorable Quotes:

• [28:58 | Eric]: “My girlfriend...she’s a little more weirded out by it than I am...It’s not weird to us anymore.”
• [31:13 | Eric]: “We were waiting, holding off talking to her mom...she didn’t really have a problem.”
• [34:03 | Eric]: “We’ve exchanged the L word...It’s become very, very, very serious. Obviously, since we’re thinking...about popping the question now.”
• [36:35 | Eric]: “I know her values. I’ve known her...for eight years...So I have a lot better sense...than I would with some stranger.”
• [37:10 | Bert]: “Just that line itself. I loved her as a daughter, and I’ll love her as a daughter-in-law.”

Callers Weigh In:

• [32:21 | Jenny]: Offers validation: “This is not weird. I grew up with two people in my neighborhood...stepbrother and stepsister...got married. They have three beautiful children.”

Segment Close:

• Engagement appears imminent. The team jokes about wedding logistics (step-parents becoming in-laws) and reflects on the unique path of the relationship.

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4. Tradio Finale: Trading Up to a Volvo (41:30–59:10)

The Tradio Journey:

• The show’s long-running “Tradio” segment concludes. They started with a Girl Scout cookie keychain and traded items daily for something of higher value:
  1. Keychain → Tigger pen (collector’s)
  2. Tigger pen → Superman comics
  3. Comics → Tiffany candlesticks
  4. Candlesticks → Jewelry
  5. Jewelry → NASCAR chair
  6. NASCAR chair → Piano
  7. Piano → 1994 Volvo
  8. Volvo → 45-inch 1080p LCD flat-panel TV (but ultimately they keep the Volvo as the final win)
• Jeremy and Jenna, the final winners, join in-studio. Jeremy tells the hilarious story of spending money impulsively (including the TV purchase, diamond earrings, and more).

Relationship Highlights:

• Jeremy woos Jenna with gifts on early dates, wins her over despite being overweight and self-deprecating.
• Jenna admits she was drawn to his humor and candor (their second date involved Jeremy dropping his pants to “seal the deal”).
• They navigate differing backgrounds—Jeremy from a “golf course” family, Jenna from “hardcore bikers” in California.

Fun Quotes:

• [43:33 | Jeremy]: “I got the money. I was like, alright Jeremy, you’re going to go get a car, right?...and I saw the TV and I was just like, I gotta have it.”
• [47:21 | Melissa Carter]: “You and your just behavior rather than maybe the way that you wanted to start the relationship. It didn’t stop there.”
• [55:01 | Jenna]: “You know what you’re looking at?”
• [56:10 | Jeremy]: “Here comes this guy [her dad], and I swear to God, he looks like Hagrid off of Harry Potter… He’s huge…”
• [58:59 | Bert]: “How long y’ all been married now?”
  [59:03 | Jeremy]: “Going on two years.”

Callers Chime In:

• [52:54 | Natalie]: “Listen, this guy is so great. I am so in love with him.”
• [57:47 | Natalie]: “Watch out, blue collar tv, here comes Jeremy.”

Destiny Comes Full Circle:

• Brian calls in to claim, “In January 2005, I was the marketing manager at the local Girl Scout council. And I sent one Melissa Carter that keychain,” tying back to the segment’s origins.
• The cast jokes about how fate, Girl Scout cookies, and destiny all led to Jeremy and Jenna’s happiness.

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Notable Quotes (With Timestamps)

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |--------|---------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:20 | Fred Weir | “It’s kind of bittersweet because this is kind of the last one, at least for now in this form.” | | 03:17 | Fred Weir | “I think we’re over $525,000 to you guys and...that’s not going to stop.” | | 11:59 | Judy Robertson| “An idiot would have to be an idiot to put themselves up for this.” | | 13:17 | Bert | “Our theory here is that if you have an accent or if you’re faking it, we should be able to tell pretty easily.” | | 28:58 | Eric | “My girlfriend...she’s a little more weirded out by it than I am...It’s not weird to us anymore.” | | 34:03 | Eric | “We’ve exchanged the L word...It’s become very, very, very serious.” | | 43:33 | Jeremy | “I got the money. I was like, alright Jeremy, you’re going to go get a car...and then I saw the TV...I gotta have it.”| | 55:01 | Jenna | “You know what you’re looking at?” |

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Listener Engagement & Tone

• Casual, unscripted, and irreverent, with hosts alternating between poking fun at each other, heartfelt moments, and witty banter.
• The show’s hallmark “realness” is on display, especially in story updates and during listener call-ins.
• Even when tackling unusual or taboo topics (relationships, odd medical diagnoses), the team strikes a balance of curiosity, empathy, and humor.

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Conclusion

This episode captures why The Bert Show remains popular: tight-knit hosts, real listener stories, community commitment, and an infectious sense of fun. Whether discussing heartfelt charity initiatives, quirky medical conditions, or wild relationship journeys, the show invites everyone into their extended radio family.

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Key Segments by Timestamp:

• [01:04] Zaxby’s & Burt’s Big Adventure
• [08:23] Accent Challenge & Foreign Accent Syndrome
• [25:15] Listener Eric & Stepsister Relationship Update
• [41:30] Tradio Finale & Jeremy & Jenna’s Story
• [59:44] Listener Calls & Destiny Closure

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Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Jeff]

The Birch Show.

[Bert]

Hey, Fred Weir is the co op president of Zaxby's. I venture to say he has been on Mike more than messy Mikey.

[Tracy]

Yes.

[Bert]

I mean, it's what, six years now?

[Fred Weir]

Six years.

[Bert]

Six years now.

[Tracy]

Well, we love us some Fred. We love us some Zaxby's because you all love you some Burt's Big Adventure.

[Fred Weir]

We do. And we're excited to be here. It's kind of bittersweet because this is kind of the last one, at least for now in this form.

[Bert]

Yeah, the lights are going off October 24th, so we needed you to come in here and make Burt's Big Adventure more money before that happened.

[Fred Weir]

Well, we're going to try to do that. But you know, I've got to say certainly thank you for everything that you've done just for us, for Atlanta, for all these kids and everything like that. We're certainly grateful and it's special to be here, but it's also, I don't want to say sad, but maybe a little bittersweet. You know, in some ways it seems kind of a long time ago, but not that long ago that we were doing this like via remote when Covid was happening. We're all on computers and in our homes and everything else.

[Bert]

We've gone through a lot of chicken together. Yes, for sure.

[Fred Weir]

And some milk, some milkshakes.

[Bert]

And some milkshakes, too, man. Well, you have been just amazing to bird speak Adventure. And it will continue. You were like the first person I called after I told the rest of the radio station, the sales people that I was taking off, they're like, God, thank God, get out of here. And only one salesperson said, well, at least let's call Fred over at Zaxby's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So you were like the first call?

[Fred Weir]

Yes. Was that more for. Because you were looking for the next thing with your radio voice, you thought you could just transfer right over into drive thru.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah, no problem. I've done it before. I was trained at Taco Bell for years and years and years.

[Fred Weir]

There we go. Yeah, yeah.

[Bert]

You think anybody would recognize my voice, dude?

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Bert]

Aren't you the guy from the radio? If you work.

[Tracy]

If we can finagle this because he's going to have some free time, right? He's going to need a hobby. So if we can get Bert at exact speed location just to run the drive thru for a little bit to see if anybody recognizes his voice, I think that would be freaking hilarious.

[Fred Weir]

That would be awesome. I may have a connection. I may know somebody who knows somebody to make that happen.

[Bert]

I would love to do that for a couple of hours. To be honest with you.

[Tracy]

You're like, not a whole shift.

[Bert]

Not a whole. Not a whole shift. It's hard than it looks. That's for sure. And when I was working at Taco Bell, I'll warn you now, I was giving my friends all sorts of free food. So if my friends come through Zaxby's, I can't guarantee that I'm not going.

[Tracy]

Jimmy and I are coming for some 10.

[Bert]

All right, well, this is not about retirement day today. This is about sex of kindness and you guys being so good to us for so many different years.

[Fred Weir]

Well, and you know, we're excited. I tallied it up. I think we're over $525,000 to you guys and certainly that's not going to stop. And I'm excited, you know, just for us to continue this relationship with you and, and a new way and more importantly, just to still be involved with the kids because they just are such an amazing blessing and they've been a gift just to get to know over the years. And you know, the one thing I was thinking on the way down here today that they, all these kids that I've met seem to have in common is, you know, they choose to be happy. And that's such an impact to me and such a reminder that every day that we go in that we have that same choice.

[Bert]

And he puts his money where his chicken is he shows up to all of our reunions and whenever Zaxby's is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

There for Fred is there.

[Bert]

And I've said this a million times on the show, we love to partner with people that really believe in the project and you come out and you see it and you get your hands dirty every year. So thank you.

[Fred Weir]

Well, we enjoy doing that. That's one of the best things that I love to do is just to be around that. And you know, and I've said it before to you guys, you know, one of the things that impacts us is, you know, there are a lot of charities that when the cameras are on, are one way and they're completely different or a lot of the money isn't being spent the way people think it is. And I've seen firsthand just how genuine you guys are whether the cameras are on or not and the impact you have with these kids lives. And that's really spoken to us. And hopefully just to all your listeners and people that have an opportunity to share in this, it'll speak to them and know that you guys are being good stewards of what's invested.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Tracy]

So we have some dates that we need people to remember. We're doing this a little earlier than normal just because, you know, Bert's quitting.

[Bert]

Yes, Bert's a quitter.

[Tracy]

So we need to remind you about Giving Tuesday. So Zaxby's always partners up with us for Giving Tuesday so we can match your donations. So Giving Tuesday is like a global generosity movement. And thankfully, Zaxby's is like, yes, we want to partner with Bart's big adventure. So December 2nd of this year is going to be Giving Tuesday. And if you text the word Bert B r t to 50155 or donate at birt bigadventure.org Zaxby's will match your donation.

[Bert]

How do we get people to remember this? Because people remember like what's in front of them. And my fear here is that they won't remember when the time is right.

[Tracy]

That should be the day you have your first shift in the drive through. Giving Tuesday, not a bad idea.

[Bert]

Really? When is that?

[Tracy]

December 2nd. It's a Tuesday because it's Giving Tuesday.

[Bert]

That makes some sense.

[Tracy]

Do they have Zaxby's in Sedona? Maybe you can do it on the.

[Bert]

Disney cruise if I'm here. Yeah, I think that'd be a great way.

[Tracy]

So either we need to find a Zaxby's on the Disney cruise in Sedona in New Zealand or in Tulum and Italy.

[Bert]

You have any Zaxby's in Italy? The Amalfi coast specifically?

[Fred Weir]

Not yet. That would be a great place to have one, though.

[Bert]

I'll start looking for real estate. Maybe that's a good idea to do it that day. I'm telling you, if I'm in town. So again, you got to remember this right now. Run it by him again, Kristen.

[Tracy]

All right. Giving Tuesday, December 2nd this year, and Zaxby's is once again going to be our partner and matching every single one of your donations to Burt's Big Adventure.

[Bert]

We'll remind you guys all on social. Also, what else we need to cover here.

[Fred Weir]

We have the big give in December.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Fred Weir]

Another opportunity for people, as we always say, and part of our corporate mission, to give better than they get. And certainly, certainly during the holiday season, things get, you know, hectic. And one of the best ways to remember is, you know, really challenge everyone, whether it's for this or something, really to challenge everyone. If you really want to change your life and your perspective, give better than you get and give with no expectation in return. And certainly when we found to do that, and I know you guys have as well, it really changes your outlook and it changes a lot of things. But more importantly, with this, you have a chance to really impact some special lives.

[Tracy]

And if you're looking for a little reciprocation, that's okay, because you want something for your donation, we get that. So if you go to Zaxby's, order a milkshake, they'll donate a portion of the proceeds to Burt's Big Adventure.

[Bert]

We're going to remind you guys over and over and over again, thank you to everybody at Zaxby's for all these years. I mean, that's a tremendous amount of money for Burt's Big Adventure. As you know, over half a million.

[Tracy]

That's how you need to start saying it, Fred. Over half a million. Over half a mil.

[Bert]

Just sounds bigger that way. You know, we've always kept the trip small on purpose. You know, we only bring 12 or 13 families each and every year. So when you're talking about $500,000 to our organization, man, that is truly life changing. And you've seen it when you come out.

[Fred Weir]

Yeah, well, and again, it's been a blessing for us to be a part of it. Just seeing everything that you guys have done. We're just grateful for everything that you do, both in the Atlanta community and really throughout the nation, because some of these kids aren't always from Atlanta. And just seeing that has been a blessing to us, Fred.

[Bert]

We're from Zaxby's. Thank you for all these years of support.

[Tracy]

And you're not getting rid of us because nothing is happening to Burt's Big Adventure. We've already gone through applications for 2026 picking out the families, and we will be seeing you at the sendoff party. We'll be seeing you future reunion. So even if you were like, I can finally get rid of those pork show people. Sorry, you can't.

[Fred Weir]

No, we, we. We don't. We don't want to do that. So we're, we're excited to continue the relationship in its new form and certainly we'll miss you in that, but excited that we're going to work in a new capacity and hopefully even get you in on drive thru.

[Bert]

Yeah. See you there. All right.

[Tracy]

Like Abby said, if as long as he's in the country December 2nd, we'll make it happen.

[Fred Weir]

That's right.

[Bert]

Thank you to Zaxby's again.

[Fred Weir]

Thank you, guys, and congratulations on retirement.

[Bert]

Thanks, Fran.

[Jeff]

The Birch Show.

[Bert]

All right, let me ask this question to you guys even before we tell you the story. If you have any kind of accent at all, any kind, call us right now. In addition, if you can fake an accent really, really well, really, really, really well, give us a call right now. We meant to do this a couple of days ago, but we have heard this common story before. In this case, it is a woman from England who is 60 years old and she had a stroke. And when she woke up, her English accent all of a sudden was transformed into this mixture of what they're calling Jamaican, Canadian, and Slovakian.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my.

[Bert]

Her accent didn't sound anything like it did before she had the stroke.

[Melissa Carter]

And they're claiming that some sort of her brain portion of her brain that was different, you know, involving her speech patterns, and that's what gave her the new accent.

[Bert]

That's exactly right. In fact, doctors have a name for it. It's called Foreign accent syndrome. And there aren't a lot of different cases in the world where this happens, but it has happened over the last couple of years, a couple of times. In fact, the first time that we heard about it was a few years ago when we had this woman, Judy Robertson, who was American and woke up with the English accent.

[Melissa Carter]

Wasn't she a Floridian? I thought she was from Florida.

[Tracy]

That's right.

[Melissa Carter]

She'd had the stroke. And then she came on to talk to us because she was spreading the news about this foreign accent syndrome because she Just wanted to help others that were afflicted with the same thing.

[Jeff]

Because there's 40 people in the whole world who are desperate for attention and have.

[Bert]

We weren't buying it. We weren't buying it all. Still not really buying it. But this is about two minutes of the conversation with Judy from a couple of years ago, and I think it was Jeff that was, I mean, extremely critical of her.

[Jeremy]

She.

[Jeff]

She's originally. She was originally from New York City and then went. Moved down to Florida. Go figure. And so according to Tracy, she had the Yankee New Yorker accent that completely disappeared when she suffered her stroke.

[Bert]

Judy Roberts is one of fewer than 20 reported cases of something called foreign accent syndrome.

[Jeff]

Hello.

[Bert]

She is from Florida, but I think she lived in New York for a while, had a stroke, and when she woke up, she had this really strong English accent. This is no lie. Judy Roberts, how are you today?

[Natalie]

I'm just fine, thank you.

[Bert]

Okay, now that is. This is not the voice we're hearing now has not always been the accent that you've had.

[Natalie]

No, it hasn't.

[Bert]

So you had a bit of.

[Jeremy]

A.

[Bert]

Bit of a northeast accent probably before this happened.

[Natalie]

No, I had a lot of a northeast accent. You know, once you go through something like this, you're never the same again. It changes you a bit. Somebody said, does it change your personality? Well, of course it does. How can it not when you have to learn to walk and talk again?

[Jeff]

Two part question. The first part is, do you have a problem with people believing you, that you're faking this, that this isn't real? And the second part of my question is, could you answer my first question in an American accent?

[Natalie]

In American? Yeah. I couldn't change it. I've got. I'm stuck here.

[Jeff]

Well, I can do a British accent if you ask me to, but I.

[Natalie]

Can'T do an American.

[Jeff]

I can understand if you were using the English accent. Like, if you gotta go pee, like, where do you go?

[Natalie]

Hello?

[Jeff]

Where does that come from? Like, they don't call it the loo in Indiana.

[Bert]

Had you ever been in England before this happened?

[Natalie]

No, I haven't. It's just. It's been back in my language center of things that I've heard, I guess, in the past that are coming out and mixing all into one.

[Bert]

Jeff asked you do a lot of people not believe what you say?

[Natalie]

It's hard enough for a stroke patient to have to learn to walk and talk again? An idiot would have to be an idiot to put themselves up for this.

[Jeff]

A bloody idiot.

[Natalie]

A bloody idiot Is right. Exactly.

[Bert]

We were critical back then. Even Massie listening to it now is like shaking our head like BS.

[Melissa Carter]

One of my best friends, Nikki, is from England and sounds nothing. I mean, you can just tell the words that, that you try to make come out with an accent. And she does not have those at all. I mean, let me be the first.

[Bert]

One to call BS on this.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I mean, the thing is that I couldn't understand is how her vernacular changed. Like Jeff was pointing out, you go from the bathroom to the loo. That's not an accent thing.

[Jeff]

Let's take the lift to my flot. Pardon me. I seem to have had a slight stroke.

[Tracy]

Every time you do any I want.

[Jeff]

To finish that crumpet.

[Melissa Carter]

You burst a vein.

[Bert]

Every time you do a British accident.

[Jeff]

British people are very pretty.

[Melissa Carter]

They just yell. You always shout.

[Bert]

British people are very spitting. And I'm gonna have to duck at.

[Jeff]

Record speed to get away from it. You need an umbrella. When I go British, let's just say.

[Melissa Carter]

You don't have a stroke.

[Bert]

Our theory here is that if you have an accent or if you're faking it, we should be able to tell pretty easily.

[Jeff]

We can pick it out right quick.

[Tracy]

Well, I can tell by your volume.

[Jeff]

Have you never been to pray?

[Tracy]

You're here.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm gonna need you here. I'm gonna go with fake.

[Bert]

Yeah. I say you're not from England yet.

[Jeff]

You know, they call or everybody else.

[Melissa Carter]

The England of the west or everybody else in England can't hear.

[Bert]

What we want you guys to do is if you have a legitimate accent or you can fake one pretty well, give us a call right now. We'll have it like a 10 second conversation with you and we will try to guess if you have the real or the fake acc.

[Jeff]

Bert.

[Bert]

Since I have the gift.

[Jeff]

I was gonna say I don't think it's a Wii. I think this is your game.

[Bert]

Well, I mean I'm probably more credible than you guys are. So it's, it's not even a fair. Yeah, I certainly competition because I've told you guys before, I have this gift that if you didn't have a stroke.

[Melissa Carter]

To get it, he had this gift.

[Bert]

You know, I was born with it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Bert]

I can't teach it. It's just, it's an inherent gift. And if I hear your accent, I can tell you exactly where you're from. The others don't have it. So I don't even want to compete.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I don't even think we'll. We'll participate. You'll just tell them where they're from and whether or not it's real or fake. Is that it, or do you already know where they're from?

[Bert]

I already know that where they're from. Even by the way they dialed. Okay, Richard, go ahead. How are you today?

[Eric]

Hello? I do.

[Jeremy]

Very good.

[Eric]

I can't believe I'm already on bushel.

[Bert]

We're very glad you are, but your accent is fake. Fake?

[Melissa Carter]

Fake.

[Eric]

How are you going to say accent is fake? I can't even breathe this.

[Bert]

Jeff, do you believe the accent is fake or real?

[Jeff]

Yes. And you are from Puerto Rico.

[Bert]

You're saying fake?

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Javi Fake Melissa Fake Massey. I'm not good at this game. I'll go with fake. That is a fake accent, right, Richard?

[Eric]

Yeah, you busted me.

[Bert]

Yeah, that wasn't hard.

[Eric]

Actually. I'm half Korean, half white. It was supposed to be an Asian accent.

[Jeff]

Well, your Korean side sucks. You're not gonna be in Korean.

[Bert]

It's like you can tell the fake accent.

[Melissa Carter]

He goes, I can't believe you.

[Jeff]

You don't believe me.

[Melissa Carter]

See, that's what got me was the R. I was like, hey, that sounded kind of real.

[Jeff]

You gotta say, like, okay, then 20 minute. And hang up the phone real quick. And then be on my doorstep. Then I'll believe you. Immed, like, in 15 seconds.

[Melissa Carter]

That was wrong.

[Jeff]

Okay, 20 minute.

[Bert]

Bing Bong. What the hell? 404-74-1-1005. Hey, Natalie.

[Natalie]

Good morning, but show.

[Bert]

How are you today?

[Natalie]

I'm wonderful. How are you?

[Bert]

I'm doing great. Natalie, where are you from?

[Natalie]

Where do you think I'm from?

[Bert]

Well, you're obviously from England. This is a real accent.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Bert]

Is that right?

[Natalie]

If that's what you think.

[Bert]

Jeff, is this a real accent or a fake accent?

[Jeff]

I actually can't participate because I know the answers.

[Bert]

Oh, you do?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa Carter]

What is your hometown?

[Natalie]

I'm sorry?

[Melissa Carter]

What is the name of your hometown?

[Natalie]

Oh, right now I'm living in Dallas, Georgia.

[Melissa Carter]

You're in Dallas, Georgia? But what's your.

[Jeff]

You can't ask that question.

[Melissa Carter]

Why? I wanted to hear her talk a little bit more. All she said is hi and how are you?

[Jeff]

Well, I'm gonna ask her a question that doesn't indicate where she's from.

[Bert]

Natalie, what's on your agenda today?

[Natalie]

I'm going to watch some children and I think we're gonna go to Whitewater and go swimming.

[Jeff]

Are you going to make a poo in the loo?

[Jeremy]

No.

[Bert]

Melissa, is this fake or is this real?

[Melissa Carter]

I think this is Real, Jen. I'm going with fake.

[Bert]

You're going with fake?

[Melissa Carter]

I'm going with real.

[Bert]

I'm going with real.

[Natalie]

Natalie, I'm from Dallas, Georgia.

[Bert]

Well, obviously you haven't had the stroke yet.

[Natalie]

No, but I've been practicing this thing forever.

[Eric]

My boyfriend makes me do it all the time.

[Natalie]

He's like, do the breach.

[Bert]

All right, we're one for two. Andre, good morning. You're on the bird show.

[Eric]

Oh, yes. Good morning, fake.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dude.

[Melissa Carter]

Are you choking on something? What's going on there?

[Bert]

Andre, what is on your agenda today?

[Eric]

Oh, well, I am headed into work. I'm caught in 85 traffic and, well, you know, it is. It is quite sucky because it's very bad traffic.

[Melissa Carter]

He's from that same place Tom Hanks got stuck in the airport from.

[Jeff]

If I were you, I would. I've got the number of a good ear, nose, and throat guy. You want to have the sinuses cleared up?

[Eric]

I do need something else because it is allergies here in Blueant are quite bad.

[Jeff]

Yes, I'm going with real and Canadian hobby.

[Bert]

Real or fake? Fake. Fake.

[Jeff]

Sorry, dude.

[Bert]

Fake. Right.

[Eric]

Well, what can I say? I'm Mexican.

[Bert]

Okay. And good morning, Burcho. All the hits. Q100. Hey, good morning. How are you today?

[Eric]

I'm doing fine today. What's going on?

[Bert]

What's your name?

[Eric]

Paul.

[Bert]

Paul.

[Melissa Carter]

Paul, what do you do for a living?

[Eric]

I work at Maytag.

[Bert]

Tell us a little bit about. Tell us a little bit about your job.

[Eric]

Yeah, I fix appliances, Wash machine, dishwasher, dryer. You go see the commercial. Guy has no work to do.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, yeah, but you actually do have to repair things.

[Eric]

Yeah, I repair plants.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, because then the commercial.

[Melissa Carter]

Commercial is a bunch of crap.

[Eric]

Well, yeah, I know. With all this stuff they're making these days.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm going with real.

[Bert]

Javi goes with real. Melissa Real.

[Melissa Carter]

It started out almost British, but then it turned Jamaican, and I'm a little confused, so I'm gonna go with fake.

[Jeff]

Maybe he had a stroke while we're on the phone. Hey, lick both of your arms above your head.

[Melissa Carter]

Do you smell smoke?

[Bert]

Are you feeling dumb?

[Melissa Carter]

Can you smile?

[Bert]

Is your right arm numb?

[Jeff]

Are you joking?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No problem.

[Bert]

Paul, that is a fake accent.

[Eric]

No, I'm from Jamaican.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Bert, you got a gift.

[Melissa Carter]

I think that the gift has been.

[Bert]

Passed to me sometimes that can through the microphone frequency framis.

[Eric]

I'm from there. I could say. What do you want to say in Jamaica then?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Pardon?

[Bert]

Huh? I don't know. Just had a line from Cool runnings Cool runnings.

[Eric]

It's okay. Let me teach you something here. Okay, well, if you say in American, like what's going on or what's happening in Jamaica.

[Jeremy]

Wagwan.

[Eric]

Yeah. Wagon.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Teach us a bad word about what's going on.

[Eric]

No, no, no, that's not a bad one. No, I don't do bad rapport. Singer.

[Bert]

I'm with Massey. Like, I thought I heard one accent and then I. I thought I heard it change about halfway through.

[Melissa Carter]

All right.

[Bert]

Good morning. You're on the Birch show. All the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Natalie]

Good morning.

[Eric]

Good morning.

[Bert]

How are you?

[Natalie]

I'm fine, thank you.

[Jeff]

So let's hear your accent.

[Natalie]

You can't hear it. You can't hear it.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes.

[Bert]

You are from also Paulding County.

[Natalie]

No.

[Melissa Carter]

So you're gonna have to talk more, though.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Melissa Carter]

What do you do for a living?

[Natalie]

I work at a law firm as a recruiting assistant.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And do you get how this works?

[Natalie]

Pardon?

[Jeff]

You understand how this works?

[Natalie]

Yes.

[Jeremy]

Okay.

[Natalie]

This is how I talk.

[Bert]

This is your accent.

[Natalie]

That's my accent.

[Melissa Carter]

But she's actually foreign, I bet.

[Jeff]

Oh, she's doing good.

[Bert]

Ooh, wacky.

[Melissa Carter]

I mean, you're the one with the talent, pal.

[Jeff]

Look, is it real or is it fake?

[Natalie]

It's real.

[Bert]

Hold on, let me try to guess. I would say it's real. What accent is this?

[Natalie]

I'm Jamaican.

[Bert]

Really?

[Natalie]

Yes.

[Bert]

Well, let's hear the Jamaican accent.

[Natalie]

Wampum. What's up with you, Wagwan? You know, I've been here for 11 years, so people really can't tell unless they talk to me for a while.

[Jeremy]

Cool.

[Jeff]

Thanks for the call.

[Bert]

Yeah. This has gone horribly wrong. Thank you. Started off so promising.

[Jeremy]

Hey, Bert.

[Melissa Carter]

She had a stroke and didn't know it.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Hey. Hey, Bert. Bert, I got one for you. Guess this one. Tell me if this one's real or fake. Hey, Bert. What's going on?

[Bert]

Well, I need to hear a little bit more. Like what's on your agenda today?

[Jeff]

I'm working.

[Bert]

May tag. Don't hurt yourself.

[Jeremy]

Jeff.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, Shane.

[Bert]

Would you say that is real or that is fake?

[Melissa Carter]

I think it's really annoying.

[Bert]

Tj, Last call. How you doing today?

[Eric]

Good. How are you guys doing?

[Bert]

Just great. What is on your agenda today?

[Eric]

Well, today. Well, I'd actually just got back to my apartment here and I'm just kind of chilling. I'm only, well, chilling. I'm trying to sit in this ac. This friggin Heat killing me.

[Jeff]

So you're from Brooklyn in 1960?

[Eric]

Actually, no, I'm from Worcester, Massachusetts. It's about 45 minutes outside of Boston. Have you guys ever been there?

[Bert]

This is your real accent? Yes, this is the real accent.

[Melissa Carter]

What do you think about the bird show?

[Eric]

Well, I think you guys are pretty cool. You're funny as hell, I gotta tell you that.

[Bert]

Are we awakening?

[Eric]

I usually listen to AAF up here in Boston, but. But, you know, that's just the way it works. I had to change it up. You guys are funny anymore than I am.

[Jeff]

You guys are wicked funny.

[Jeremy]

Like you.

[Jeff]

That's pissa.

[Jenna]

It's a pissa.

[Eric]

Hey, no, it's not a pissa. Only people from Boston say pissa. People in Wista say wicked. It's okay.

[Bert]

You can't say wicked pissa.

[Eric]

Well, I can say wicked pissa, but then I'd sound like I'm from Boston and that's not cool. People from like, Southie and stuff sound terrible.

[Bert]

I love a Boston accent, though. I do.

[Jenna]

You do?

[Bert]

I really do.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[Bert]

So we have proven absolutely nothing here. Although that I think maybe we now know that Jen Hobby has the real gift and I have none at all. But she claims English. Thick, thick English accent. Now she has foreign accent syndrome. Speaks Jamaican, Canadian and Slovakian. Random. Totally random. Now, if a Slovakian called up, I wouldn't even be able to identify the. No the accent at all.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The Birch Show. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Flu season is here and our pharmacies have you covered with a free flu shot with most insurance plans. Plus it's cough and cold season and now through December 2nd. Stock up on all the season's essentials and get ready for relief with discounts on items like Mucinex, Cold and Flu, Kickstart, Mucinex, Fast Max products, Vicks, Daquil and Nyquil Combo pack. Alka Select. Also Airborne and aphrodite offers end December 2nd. Restrictions apply and offers may vary by location. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. Old school security kicks in after the break in. Too late. Simplisafe rewinds the story. Stopping crime before it starts. Active Guard Outdoor Protection. Uses AI powered cameras to detect intruders, alert live monitoring agents and can deter intruders before they reach your door. It's proactive protection plus a 60 day money back guarantee and no contracts. To get 60% off your new system, go to SimpliSafe.com podcast. That's SimpliSafe.com podcast. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Bert]

Hello, listeners.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Meet Lisa.

[Bert]

Hey there, Lisa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Runs an online boutique specializing in sustainable fashion.

[Jeremy]

With Acast, she found a whole new.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Way to reach eco conscious shoppers.

[Jeremy]

Yep.

[Tracy]

I recorded a quick ad, targeted listeners.

[Melissa Carter]

Interested in fashion and sustainability using acast's audience attributes targeting feature and set my budget.

[Tracy]

Before I knew it, people all over were hearing about my shop.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Now that's a smart way to grow your business.

[Bert]

Hey, Lisa, what's trending right now?

[Melissa Carter]

Shopping sustainably. And my sales, of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Start reaching your ideal audience through podcast ads with Acast. Visit go.acast.com advertise to get started.

[Bert]

Okay, so you're a new Birchill listener. You have no idea who this Eric dude is. You know nothing about his story at all. Bring us right up to the last time we talked to him, Jen.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh, gosh. It started back on St Patrick's Day, was when you guys first talked to him. Cause I remember I was missing from the show and you had to catch me up on the story afterwards. But that was the first time that he called in and said that. After about how long? It's really hard to remember all the details of this. Like, they had been brother and stepsister, you know, stepbrother, stepsister in the household for about 10 years. His dad was married to her mom for how long? About 10.

[Bert]

Do you remember any of this, Jeff?

[Jeff]

The I. I know the age was 10 to 18 for her, right?

[Melissa Carter]

Okay, so their parents were married for eight years, and they were in the house together for those times. He's a little bit older than she is. Anyway, parents divorce, they sort of go their separate ways, but both of them end up back here in Atlanta, and they reconnect somehow. They go out and she's like, I wanna see you again. But not in like a brother, sister kind of way. In like a dating kind of way. They had some chemistry going on, and then sure enough, they start dating. And he alluded to the fact that they had been physical together, although he wouldn't comment on it. And then all of us were pretty harsh, like, dude, this is your sister. But the majority of the Burt show listeners were like, give him a break. They're not related. They're not blood related. They're just, you know, having a good time. Two crazy kids.

[Bert]

The last time we had him on, he had this to say. It's about 90 seconds long, and he's on hold. He's ready to go.

[Eric]

She lives in my place now. Everyone's cool with it. We told her mom. Her mom, you know, maybe for the first 24 hours or so, was kind of Weird about it and then became okay with it. I think sort of had to process it. Yeah, the only one that we hadn't told was her mom. And now she's got over her initial shock about it and she's now okay with it too. So now really the only people that seem to have any problem with it are you guys and some of the listeners, which is kind of getting a little bit irritating to me. You know, I mean, I, it's, it's fine for me to keep coming back on the show and everything, but it's just like I feel like people are being pretty judgmental about this.

[Melissa Carter]

What does your sister, girlfriend, I mean, say about the reaction from people?

[Eric]

She's actually getting a little weirded out about? You know, she's like, thinks I'm like exploiting the relationship or something like that. But you know, I just tell her whatever. It's. I feel like it's an important thing for maybe people to get over if they have a problem with it. You know, I think it's the fact.

[Bert]

That you guys like were little kids when you were living in the house together.

[Eric]

That's true. But you know, if anything, it was just a sort of annoying hurdle. You know, it's not like, oh, let's get together and have some weird relationship. It was like, okay, there's a spark here. Is there anything wrong with this? No, there's not. And going on from there, you know.

[Bert]

So the emails always kind of trickle in going, hey, I want to get an update from Eric. But the last time we had him on, he's like, I'd really rather not do this anymore. Because like he said, you guys are being judgmental. It's progressing nicely. Kind of leave me alone. But producer Tracy must have strong armed him into coming on this morning. Hey, Eric.

[Jeff]

She has gossip on him. Dude, you're dating your sister. I'll tell everybody.

[Bert]

Hey, Eric.

[Eric]

Hey.

[Bert]

What's going on?

[Eric]

Not much. What's going on?

[Melissa Carter]

I haven't talked to you in a long time.

[Eric]

Yeah, we haven't. Was it May?

[Bert]

Was it May?

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, something like that.

[Bert]

Well, thanks for coming on with us today.

[Eric]

Yeah, no problem.

[Bert]

Did Tracy strong army into coming on this morning?

[Eric]

Kinda, yeah.

[Bert]

I mean.

[Eric]

I mean, you know, whatever. In a way I don't mind. I mean, really, you know, my girlfriend, I don't even want to say her name on the air. I don't know if her name is in been mentioned before or not. But she's, you know, she's a little more weirded out by it than I Am. I mean, I kind of. I mean, it's fine in a way. Like, I'll talk to people about it. I'll talk about it with you guys, but it's really, like, I don't get the fascination with it. Like, it's not weird to us anymore.

[Bert]

Let's do this. Let's make this promise to you. Because for the longest time, every time we had you on, we all started debating if this was healthy, if it was morally right, and the conversations were the same time and time again. So I'll make this promise to you that we will not debate that fact anymore. We're just. We're just calling up to get an update. People have been emailing, want to know if you guys are still together, if you've broken up, if it's progressed, if you're not seeing her anymore.

[Eric]

So, yeah, I appreciate that because that's like. That's sort of, you know, to us, that's not really the conversation. So every time that happens and really, like, we already have to have that conversation with, you know, new people that we meet and stuff like that, and it's kind of a drag.

[Bert]

So have any of your friends, like, stopped hanging out with you guys, like, your couple friends, because they think it's really strange?

[Eric]

We had. We had one friend that started to get. I mean, you know, it started to get real weird with us. Like a friend. Yeah. But, I mean, you know, we sat down and had a talk with. Had a talk with him, and he. I don't know, really, like, everyone, even if people have been a little bit weird about it, have quickly sort of realized, like, oh, I'm being judgmental. You know, it's not a big deal.

[Melissa Carter]

Now, let me ask you this. Now that you guys have become a little bit more serious and you're a little bit more involved, how are your parents feeling about it?

[Eric]

Great. I mean, everyone, really, in the family. We were, you know, I told my dad early on, and then we were waiting, holding off, talking to her mom about it because her mom was, you know, it's a little more. I don't know, we were just a little more afraid because she's a little more judgmental and that kind of stuff. Stuff maybe, I mean, or at least has a tendency to jump to conclusions or whatever. And so we had waited to talk to her about it, and then we told her, and she didn't really have a problem with it. It was sort of like, you know, there's the same sort of sense that we're not family members. We've been in that situation. And so there's. There's that kind of weird element to get over, but it's not really a problem.

[Bert]

You know, let me put you on with Jenny here. And again, we're not going to debate this, but this is generally. I think she will speak for most when we have you on. Hey, Jenny. Good morning.

[Natalie]

Morning. Hey, Eric. This is not weird. I grew up with two people in my neighborhood, and they babysit me frequently. They were stepbrother and stepsister for a while. I guess technically they still are, but their parents are still married. The stepbrother and stepsister got married. They have three beautiful children, two of whom are now married.

[Eric]

Cool.

[Bert]

And again, I mean, I think we all have opinions about it in studio, but we promise we're not going to debate it. So let's just move past. Okay, so that is a good example of most of the calls that we get. Let's move on.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And I would like to say that I don't every. You guys here are all, you know, throwing up a little in your mouth. I don't think it's a big deal. Never really have.

[Bert]

Right.

[Melissa Carter]

All right, so I think it's odd.

[Jeff]

I think it's interesting, but I think it is what it is, and we've established.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Melissa Carter]

So, yeah, we're moving on. So, Eric, so I'm curious now.

[Tracy]

So you're still living together?

[Melissa Carter]

Things are progressing. I mean, have you talked about any.

[Tracy]

Further steps in your relationship?

[Eric]

Yeah, actually. Well, and actually, I'll say what she was just talking about. I mean, we've heard those kind of stories from a couple of people. And so it starts to seem more and more, you know, like, okay, this is not a big deal. I mean, to some people it still is, but, you know, to us it's become totally normal now. So, yeah, actually, I've been actually pricing out some engagement rings and looking at different styles and stuff like that. So, you know, thinking about getting engaged.

[Melissa Carter]

So you guys are in love. You've exchanged the L word.

[Eric]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, back. I mean, that things really progressed pretty quickly and. And since maybe the last time that we talked or whatever, I mean, it's just become. It's become very, very, very serious. Obviously, since we're thinking. Well, I'm thinking about popping the question and everything now.

[Bert]

Let me ask you guys this, because if the situation was a little bit different, right? And we were talking to a Birch show listener that met a girl for the first time, and then February, March, April, May, June, July, five months later, was considering in getting engaged. Would you guys be like, hold on now, it's only a couple of months here. You really don't know this girl. Are we not saying that because they have the history of the brother, sister relationship behind them?

[Melissa Carter]

I think so.

[Bert]

It makes more sense if it progresses quickly.

[Melissa Carter]

Because the analogy really would be if we talk to somebody who, let's say, had a high school boyfriend or like a. Like a best friend through high school that they knew for years and years growing up, but then they found each other later in life and we're getting married after five months. I think I'd be more okay with that because you really do know that person. You know their family, you know their history, you spent a lot of time together. So I think that would be the real analogy. And although it's fast, I don't think that we would be as critical as if it were a girl who met a stranger and in five months getting married.

[Bert]

Is that how you kind of feel, Eric? Like, I mean, it doesn't seem fast to you because you grew up with this girl in the same house?

[Eric]

Yeah, I mean, I know her values. I've known her. I mean, I did, you know, I was in the same household with her for eight years. So I know I have a lot better sense, I guess, of who she is than I would with some stranger. It's sort of. It's sort of like. It's sort of. I mean, we were never like super, super friendly when I was in the household with her. It was just like, you know, my stepsister. I mean, we didn't have like this extremely close relationship when we were in the same household. But you know, it's maybe sort of along the lines of a friend that you've known for a while and then you start dating them. It's, you know, it's so I've known her for so long and I know what she's all about.

[Bert]

There's a familiarity there that wouldn't be with two people that just met each other, which makes sense to me. Boy, that be a strange wedding though, in that, you know, you've got the step parents there and now they're gonna become in laws and all week. Yeah, it's just.

[Eric]

They're totally. I mean, my dad actually just. Just like I told him, I was thinking about, you know, popping the question and he said, you know, he loved her as a daughter and he'd love her as a daughter in law. I mean, obviously, like weird. Yeah. I can't tell honestly, like some of the stuff that he says, I can't tell if he's the type of guy you can never tell if he's joking. But, you know, I. But, I mean, obviously it's not my sister. It's my, you know, former stepsister.

[Bert]

Just that line itself. I loved her as a daughter, and I'll love her as a daughter in law.

[Melissa Carter]

Whenever I hang out with childhood friends, I'm always, like, brought back to my childhood memories. Or we sort of relive moments that we shared together in our childhood. Has that happened with you guys? Like, what memories? Had you forgotten about that now that you guys are together again, this time romantically instead of in a sibling way? What, like, what kind of memories have been, like, sort of brought back to the surface?

[Eric]

We've talked. I mean, we had. We had a couple of. Well, I mean, the funny thing is a lot of the stuff that we've talked about is kind of like fights that would happen and stuff like that. I mean, a lot of the sort of, I guess like, inside jokes and stuff that are developing between us now is like the moments of friction that we have when we were kids. Like, there was, like, this croquet game that we were playing with each other, and, like, she. She thought that I was cheating, and she ended up, like, getting all angry and, like, running off or whatever. I mean, there's, like, stuff like that. I mean, they were like, you know, there were, like, family vacations that we went on and stuff like that. And we talk about that, too, but, like, the thing that we often reflect on is, like, the. These stupid little, you know, stepbrother, stepsister fights that we would get into sometimes.

[Bert]

No judging. No judging. We just wanted to get an update. I mean, people have been emailing, asking. So the way it stands now is it certainly looks like an engagement is imminent.

[Eric]

Yeah, definitely. And, you know, I don't know exactly when, but, you know, I'm sure sometime in the next few months. So I'll be. I'll be moving toward that.

[Bert]

Soon you will be marrying your former stepsister.

[Eric]

That's the plan.

[Bert]

Okay. All right. Eric, I appreciate you coming on again, man.

[Eric]

Thanks.

[Bert]

Thanks for the update. See you.

[Eric]

Yeah, no problem.

[Bert]

Bye. Bye. I just want to applaud the rest of us in studio that held back. We didn't judge. We didn't open the debate up again because we certainly could have gone that way. Oh, my God.

[Tracy]

We're thinking about their family vacations together.

[Melissa Carter]

Jokes about it, and then now they're gonna. They're doing it. Their sibling rivalry fights are now, like, romantically played.

[Bert]

How hard that was to bite the tongue.

[Melissa Carter]

I know it.

[Bert]

There's your update on Eric. It sure looks like he will soon be engaged to his former step sister. The Birch show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Flu season is here and our pharmacies have you covered with a free flu shot with Most insurance plans. Plus it's coug cold season and now through December 2nd. Stock up on all the season's essentials and get ready for relief with discounts on items like Mucinex Cold and Flu Kickstart, Mucinex, Fast Max Products, vicks Dayquil and Nyquil combo pack. Alka Seltzer plus also airborne and Afrin offers end December 2nd. Restrictions apply and offers may vary by location. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. Old school security kicks in after the break in Too late. Simplisafe rewinds the story Stopping crime before it starts Active Guard Outdoor Protection uses AI powered cameras to detect intruders, alert live monitoring agents and can deter intruders before they reach your door. It's proactive protection plus a 60 day money back guarantee and no contracts. To get 60% off your new system, go to SimpliSafe.com podcast that's SimpliSafe.com podcast There's no safe like SimpliSafe at the UPS store.

[Melissa Carter]

We know being a small business owner means holiday time is still go time, still get those orders, ship time and still re up on stamps and supplies time. That's why this upcoming holiday, while others close up shop will be open and happy to help you keep being unstoppable. Come into your local store today. Most locations are independently owned products, services, pricing and hours of operation may vary. See center for details. The UPS Store Be Unstoppable.

[Bert]

So if you have been listening over the last couple of weeks then you know we've been doing tradio where we were gonna trade up with you guys every single day with an item of slightly greater value. And weeks ago we started with a little keychain that Melissa brought in.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, we all brought in an item to see what we should start with and we decided on Melissa Carter's keychain. It was a Samoa cookie from the Girl Scouts and it was like a collector's item because it was a special anniversary edition or something like that.

[Bert]

It was worth less than like 3 bucks or something like that.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh yeah, definitely. I think it was sent to Melissa as a little promotional item so she traded that for a Tigger pen that had some collector Value to it. And then we traded the Tigger pen for some Superman comics. The comics traded up for some Tiffany candlesticks. The candlesticks traded up for some really nice jewelry. The jewelry traded up for a NASCAR chair. That happened when I was out, though, so I don't know anything about that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[Melissa Carter]

And then the NASCAR chair went for the piano.

[Bert]

Piano, I think. Then the piano.

[Melissa Carter]

Piano went for the car, which we thought was going to be the end of it. It was a 94 Volvo.

[Bert]

Would have been totally happy going from a keychain to a car. Sounds good. Yeah, sounds really good. Would have been happy with the Volvo. We could have ended this thing. Well, we decided just one more day, we'll give it one more try. If there was somebody that had something of slighter, greater value, then we'd give this thing one more shot. And sure enough, Jeremy calls up with. With probably the best ending that could have possibly happened.

[Eric]

I've got a. It's a 45 inch, 1080 progressive scan LCD flat panel TV. It's just super duper.

[Jeff]

Why you getting. Why you getting ready?

[Bert]

Hold on. You sound like the TV salesman in like 40 year old Virgin.

[Melissa Carter]

It is super duper.

[Eric]

Well, I don't have great decision making skills. And when I had a little bit of money, I was supposed to go get a car. And I came home with a tv and my wife is watch it with me, and I would like to enjoy my wife again. So I need a car.

[Bert]

Okay. Were you literally on your way down to buy a car and then you just kind of like the add kicked in and you ended up buying a tv?

[Eric]

I got the money. I was like, all right, Jeremy, you're gonna go get a car, right? And I was like, yeah. And then I got one of those stupid Crutchfield magazines, and I opened it and I saw the tv and I was just like, I gotta have it. But I realized that I thought I was 28, but evidently I'm only 18, and that I'm not responsible enough to be left outside. So I don't have an ATM card anymore and I'm not allowed to have checkbooks. I get $20 a week, and that's about it.

[Jeff]

You got an allowance, Jeremy?

[Bert]

There is power in prayer, my friend.

[Eric]

Yes. Thank God.

[Bert]

The car is yours. We are gonna make the trade with you. We will give you the Volvo, but we get the 45 inch flat screen TV.

[Jeff]

Well, okay, here's part of the deal. We'll give you the car, and you have to give us a half hour of your time when you come to pick up the car so we can.

[Eric]

See you, Bo Fine with me.

[Bert]

So you got to bring her in here with you when we give you the Volvo, okay?

[Eric]

She has to be. She's got to drive me there.

[Bert]

So that was a couple of days on the ago on the show and Jeremy and Jenna are here with us this morning. How you guys doing?

[Jeremy]

I'm doing great.

[Jenna]

We're good.

[Bert]

Hey, Jenna, I'm just curious. Every single day that you walked into that house and you saw that flat screen tv, did it just bug you to no end?

[Jenna]

I just quit going downstairs altogether.

[Bert]

Really?

[Melissa Carter]

Really.

[Jenna]

You just boycotted that we got one up there.

[Bert]

So your evil plan worked. Jeremy kept her out of there for a while.

[Jeremy]

It wasn't the plan, I swear to God.

[Melissa Carter]

Did you feel guilty when you were watching it? Cause you knew it made her so mad.

[Jeremy]

I stopped watching it. I kind of tried the first time, but I was sitting down there on the couch by myself and I knew she was up there and she'd stomp on the floor every now and then. So I just gave up. I gave it to the seven year old. He enjoyed it a lot. It's great for cartoons.

[Bert]

Jenna, explain to me the day that he came home and he told you that there is no car, there's just a flat screen tv. How did he break that to you?

[Jenna]

Bluntly. Jeremy isn't. Isn't one with tact that much. So he just said, hey, look what I got.

[Melissa Carter]

You'll be so excited.

[Bert]

You're like overselling this thing. As soon as you walked in, right.

[Jeremy]

I thought that I was doing a good thing for the family because the way I looked at it, the car was selfish because it was just for me to get back and forth from work. And I had one, although it wasn't in good condition, it was going to die, but I was like, tv, whole family, high definition. I'm a good person. And nobody appreciated it but me.

[Bert]

Did you buy that? Did you buy that even for a second?

[Jenna]

I know. So nothing about tech, that it's not funny. And he came in trying to tell me all this tech stuff and I'm like, it's a tv. It doesn't have wheels, it doesn't go anywhere. It's a tv.

[Jeff]

You can't take it to work.

[Melissa Carter]

So you said that he's been a bad spender since the day you met. You were telling us off the air, tell everybody about your first date. Then your two week anniversary gift.

[Jenna]

Well, the first date we went to a little place, a little Seafood restaurant. And Jeremy hates seafood. But he did show up with a whole day at Sposodel. So that was our first date present. Yeah. No flowers. I got a whole day at Sposodel. And then two weeks after that we were on another date and he shows up with half carat diamond earrings. A pair of them. So that was great too. And then within three weeks we ended up married. So now I have a one carat Leo diamond. Within the first three weeks, he went through God knows how much money.

[Bert]

Wow.

[Jeremy]

All right.

[Bert]

Well, you started off strong, dude. This is a marathon.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, that's. Was it.

[Jeff]

Was this some sort of movie where you have to be married by age 25?

[Jeremy]

No, it was more like a movie. Like I was. I was 275 and she was way hotter than I was. So I was going to do anything I could to try to let her know that I can lose weight. You just give me a chance. But no, I completely fell totally in love with her. We talked on the phone.

[Jeff]

So you're taking the weight out of your wallet.

[Jeremy]

Basically. I was going to let her know I was willing to do anything for her. So it was. I don't know, I just decided to go all out and it just hasn't stopped since then though.

[Melissa Carter]

That's more like you and your just behavior rather than maybe the way that you wanted to start the relationship. It didn't stop there.

[Jeremy]

No, it didn't. But I want to be a nice.

[Jenna]

Guy, but I should have known about not to let him have the ATM at that point.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, she. She let me have the ATM for a little while, but it. I don't anymore. I've got a dollar left for this week. So.

[Bert]

So how is it rationed out? Like, does she just come by and give you a $20 bill on Monday?

[Jeremy]

Oh, it's. No, it's actually Sunday night. I get a $20 bill and she wishes me good luck. So which is bad because like I've, you know, had the weight problem and I lost the weight. But now she's like, hey, there's a dollar meal on you at McDonald's. Good luck. So she's evidently satisfied with me just getting fatter and fatter as each day goes on.

[Bert]

I love this kind of like sub storyline here. You were £275 when you met her?

[Jeremy]

Yeah, when I met her I was 275 and just I had my eyebrows kind of met. I had to wax my eyebrows. She made me because I couldn't show up like this. So Yeah, I was 275, horrible dresser. I really was the 40 year old virgin. I mean I, I had all the toys in the world and it was just, I've, you know, I kind of just didn't have the social skills with the ladies.

[Jeff]

Believe it or not, they just buy them stuff. Yeah, I bought buy them stuff. Maybe she'll take her pants off.

[Jeremy]

Maybe. But that, but that wasn't, that was kind of, of wasn't the way it was. I hoped it would work. Even though I didn't say it out loud. You did it for me. But no, I just. I was a 40 year old virgin and she was been single for a while. Of an expert dater. She always told me she dated half of Atlanta so you can say hi to all your old friends. But so I mean I was really intimidated by her. So I knew that I had to, to really be like somebody that she'd never met. So I was. But yeah, I was fat and nasty. It wasn't attractive.

[Bert]

And you looked at this 275 piece of clay and you're like I can definitely reform this thing into something that is perfect for me.

[Jenna]

That's what he tells me.

[Jeremy]

Well, no, it was the fun. It wasn't until after we got married because I thought she was just a chubby chaser. I was like she likes fat guys, it'll work. And she was like. And she was like, no, I actually I come to find out because then I started like, well, you know, didn't you date all fat guys? And she was like no, I dated like bodybuilders and Mr. Georgia before you.

[Bert]

So that'll help, huh?

[Jeremy]

Oh, hey, it does wonders for the self confidence. And she's like, but don't worry because when we're intimate I can just move your stomach out of the way.

[Bert]

So at that point it was a full on panace. Yeah, at 275. Yeah, it was a panace right there.

[Jeremy]

It was, it was lots of fun. But no, she's been good for me. She's got me in the gym and made me not so focused on the, the tech stuff. Although the TV goes against that. But that was really like. That was like my first moment of weakness. So it's like that's why I have to get the TV away from me. Exercise the demons. I'm going back to being a sociable person that doesn't want to sit in the side of the house and watch Matrix for the thousandth time.

[Bert]

Yeah, still got the dork in there trying to get out.

[Jeremy]

Man. He's sitting There trying to, you know, he basically only comes out when it deals with my computer. That was the only other thing in our relationship that I've gone overboard was I built a computer and it's got antifreeze in it, and it's a liquid cooling system.

[Jenna]

It was a disaster.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, it's not fun.

[Bert]

You're serious about that?

[Jeremy]

Yeah, I'm serious.

[Jenna]

Our computer has coolant in our car doesn't.

[Jeff]

Hey, we don't have a car, so you gotta use the coolant somewhere.

[Bert]

What do you need a coolant for your computer?

[Jenna]

I don't have wheels either.

[Jeremy]

Why do I need coolant for my computer? Well, it's because you can take a computer chip and you can, like, go into the programming and make it go faster. It's all about if you can control the heat. I'm sounding like an idiot right now.

[Bert]

Well, I mean, you're getting close.

[Jeff]

Is this like a normal computer or is it like one of the 1950s ones where it takes up an entire room? There's tapes whirling.

[Jenna]

But you didn't hear the best part. He built it for me.

[Bert]

Now it. All of a sudden, it's become sweet.

[Jeremy]

Yes. Yes, it is. Thank you.

[Jenna]

That's a good excuse for the money that he spent.

[Jeremy]

Well, no, it was for her because she, you know, needs. She's at home and she needs access to the world. She's, you know.

[Jeff]

Okay, so what. Let me just. Because I, you know, we all have computers at our house. None of them have Prestone antifreeze in it. So, like, what is going on in your home that requires so much data processing? Like, what's the most complicated thing that you do on your computer?

[Jenna]

You want to know? Honestly, I just finished building our first website for the business that we're trying to open. So it's pretty graphics intensive. And so that was part of it. And then we do a lot of photo editing, too. Just our kids. We're picture freaks. And he has super high tech cameras and all that kind of stuff. So I need something to break it down, and any normal computer would just lock it up.

[Jeff]

Plus, Jeremy looks at porn at an amazing rate you wouldn't believe.

[Jeremy]

No, she took one for the team because she didn't say, say, my husband likes video games.

[Bert]

No wonder why you need Colton in this thing.

[Jeff]

Well, you know, Jeremy's the only guy in Atlanta who can look at 400 sets of boobs an hour.

[Jeremy]

No, that's the. I. I'm broken for my wife. She's the only one that I like to look at naked when she lets me.

[Jeff]

So she's, so she's the one who looks for.

[Melissa Carter]

After she gives you the allowance?

[Jeremy]

No, it's, I don't, you know, I really don't care because it was like, I, I, I was single and I had a good job and lots of money, could have all the toys in the world and. But, you know, I decided I wanted, you know, a relationship with a really hot girl more than I did the toys and stuff. So I'm fine with $20. As long as she's, you know, nice to me. It's all that matters.

[Bert]

Hey, Marcella. Good morning.

[Jeff]

That's great.

[Bert]

You're on all the hits. Q100A.

[Natalie]

Hey, how you doing, Bert?

[Bert]

All right. How are you?

[Natalie]

I'm doing great. I was just calling. Listen, this guy is so great. I am so in love with him.

[Bert]

He's so sweet, isn't he?

[Natalie]

Yeah. She's got a great husband.

[Bert]

I'm curious. At 275, like, you must have been so intimidated when you approached her.

[Jeremy]

At first I was scared to death. I bet. I was scared to death because she.

[Jeff]

Hey, you want coolant in your computer?

[Jeremy]

No, no, it was even better.

[Jenna]

He showed up at the first date in plaids and saggy drawers and bad shoes.

[Bert]

Oh, dude.

[Jeremy]

Man, I didn't know. What was I supposed to do? If you wanted to question about DVDs, come talk to me, hot girl. Didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know that it mattered. I got it at Abercrombie. I thought that made it okay. I was wrong.

[Bert]

You must have seen something in them, though, like, you said yes to the day date.

[Jenna]

Yeah, he already had me by then. We'd had a few phone conversations and he's really, really funny. Everybody can probably tell. And that's kind of what keeps us going, is he's really hilarious.

[Bert]

Did you guys meet online? Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Off match.com.

[Bert]

You did?

[Jeremy]

Yes, we did.

[Bert]

Okay. And did you tell her right off the bat that you, what you look like and what you.

[Jenna]

There was pictures posted, but he had, like, a neck up.

[Jeremy]

I took the camera and I kind of did it from the side and looked up at it to where it wouldn't kind of catch the whole double chin hanging down?

[Jeff]

That's very MySpace of you.

[Jeremy]

Yes. Well, you know, it was, it was, it was. It worked.

[Jeff]

It's a marketing decision. It's well done. You got to do that.

[Jeremy]

It was. But she's not telling you what really got her to, to be with me. I don't know if I can say that.

[Bert]

I'm sure you can.

[Jeremy]

It was the boldest thing I've ever done. She was just talking, you know, she said like what was important to her and stuff like that. You know, one of the things was that, you know, she couldn't be with, you know, small guys or anything like that.

[Eric]

Oh, no.

[Jeremy]

So like on the first, this, this was like the second date, I was at her house and I was staying in her bedroom. I just pulled my pants down, said, well, can we have a second date?

[Melissa Carter]

No, you did not.

[Jeremy]

Yes, I did.

[Natalie]

Oh my.

[Melissa Carter]

No way. So you're just.

[Jeff]

Did you still think you were a funny guy? Was she laughing then?

[Jeremy]

No, she was, she was like, okay, I'll marry you. Well done.

[Melissa Carter]

Oh my God, that is so funny. So you're just like rattling off like the things that you have to have in a husband. And he's like, well, how do I do?

[Jenna]

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, it was that bold. He just kind of went like there. Well, that was work. You stand there kind of speechless.

[Melissa Carter]

What do you say?

[Jenna]

You know what you're looking at?

[Jeremy]

Well, it was like I said, I, I had my, I had my mind made up that she was what I want, you know, she was what I wanted and I wasn't, you know, if I was going to get disqualified for something, I needed to find out now before I went and did anything else.

[Jeff]

Before you spend any more money, you'd have to mortgage your house to stick around. A third date.

[Jenna]

So no, that was like we got married. That was the one month anniversary gift was the house.

[Jeff]

Plus she, you had been dating. I mean, you were good in that because she was dating all those steroid shrunk bodybuilders.

[Jeremy]

It was worse than that because she was dating the bodybuilders and she was dating old dudes. Like she was dating like 38, 40 year old guys. Oh, good lord. And I mean, you know, antique. We won't go into the daddy issues, but still. No, it was after we got married. The only family after, before we were getting married, the only family that came down was her father. And she sent me to pick him up at the airport. And I'm standing at the airport and I was like, well, what does he look like? And she's like, don't worry, when you see him, you'll know that it's him.

[Jenna]

Wait, he forgot to tell you the good part. Like, Jeremy and I come from very, very different backgrounds. I grew up in California. My family is bikers. We live in the desert. And I mean, hardcore bikers. Jeremy grew up on a golf course, okay?

[Jeremy]

So she's like, he's just an old biker guy. You're gonna see him. When you. When you see him, you'll notice him. So I'm standing at the airport waiting for him to come in. And, like, the people are coming. All of a sudden, here comes this guy, and I swear to God, he looks like Hagrid off of Harry Potter. He's huge. He's got this afro hair out. He's got these pants that are about five sizes too big being tied with. With a rope. And he's got shoes with no shoelaces. And he's just sitting there and, like, plopping down the way. And I was like, oh, my God, it can't be him. It can't be him. And he looks at me and goes. He kind of squinted his eyes, goes, you Jeremy? And I said, yes, sir. And he's like, all right. Smiles, and he's got about three teeth in his head. And I was like, all right, sir. And I was just, like, scared. And he was like, we're sitting in my truck and we're driving to her house. Cause that's where I was going to drop him off. And I just. I couldn't talk because I was afraid he was going to kill me. And the only piece of advice he can say, he's like, so, y' all getting married? And I was like, yes, sir. He's like, well, you know, you don't have to get married to have sex. And I was like, well. And that was the funniest thing about it is we didn't do anything. Like, we decided once. Like, we were like, hey, we had.

[Jeff]

To hold out three weeks. How'd you manage that?

[Jeremy]

Hey, it's. That's the good. All right, it was tough, but anyway, he was like, you don't gotta be married to have sex. And I was like, well, I really love your daughter and I wanna have sex with her forever and don't want anyone else to have sex with her, so I'm willing to sign the paperwork. And he was like, well. Well, I don't care, just as long as you don't do anything stupid. I was like, all right. Getting married after three weeks, you don't consider that stupid? I'm pretty cool then.

[Bert]

Hey, Georgeanne. Good morning. You're on the bird show.

[Jeff]

Can I borrow your belt? I'd like to tie something to my roof.

[Jeremy]

Good morning.

[Natalie]

I just want to say, watch out, blue collar tv, here comes Jeremy.

[Bert]

Seriously, right?

[Natalie]

He's gonna be replaced.

[Bert]

Hey, Summer, Good morning. You're on the bird show.

[Natalie]

Okay, you guys have to take a picture of them. I am like dying to see what they look like.

[Bert]

This is a good looking couple.

[Eric]

Like, I think you guys are great.

[Natalie]

I was like, who is this? Is this some celebrity couple I didn't hear about? And I was like, oh, right, the TV and car thing.

[Bert]

So we'll take a picture, we'll put it up on the website.

[Jeff]

They're very normal looking.

[Bert]

Yeah, good looking.

[Jeff]

Which is unusual for this show.

[Jeremy]

Well, it's like I said, she, you know, she definitely was like, all right, you have to lose weight. So I lost weight because I wanted to stay married. That was my whole point, was stay married. Because I. God knows that there was. The whole house thing was because we happened so quickly that we were. I was actually moved because she has a seven year old, my son Nick, and he had to stay in his school. So we were like. I moved in with her for a short while and there was cars driving by and like, people puzzled looks like, you know, who is this guy? So I was like, I gotta move just to get her away from and get the scent away from all the other people that are trying to find her. So it was, you know something, it was a necessity to me. Cause like, she was telling me, watch out when you're walking to your car. Because some of them were ex Marines.

[Bert]

A lot of comfort here. A nest of comfort.

[Jeff]

How long y' all been married now?

[Jeremy]

Going on two years.

[Bert]

Is that right?

[Jeff]

And now you got yourself a Volvo.

[Jeremy]

That's right. Thank God.

[Bert]

Now it's all come full circle.

[Jeremy]

Yes, it has.

[Bert]

We appreciate you guys coming in, man. And congratulations on being the final winners of Tradio. You guys got the Volvo, can drive it out of here today.

[Jeremy]

All right, thank you.

[Bert]

All right, we got to take a picture. You guys put it up on the website too. Thanks for coming in, you guys.

[Jeremy]

Thank you very much.

[Bert]

It's a great stuff story. Really great story. That couldn't end it any better. You guys are too.

[Jeff]

This is why. This is. Which one's the good one, Fate or destiny?

[Bert]

Destiny.

[Jeff]

This is destiny. This is why the Girl Scout keychain came to Melissa two years ago. This is. This is why the Girl Scouts sell cookies. This is why someone invented the girls. This is why there are women.

[Bert]

It was just so Jeremy and Jenna could meet each other.

[Jeremy]

Yep.

[Melissa Carter]

Hey, Brian.

[Bert]

Good morning, Harry. You.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Good morning.

[Eric]

BIR Show.

[Bert]

What's up, man?

[Eric]

In January 2005, I was the marketing manager at the local girl Scout council. And I sent one. Melissa Carter. That keychain.

[Jeremy]

There you go.

[Bert]

You're the one.

[Eric]

So it makes my heart feel good. I saved a marriage in some part.

[Bert]

You started destiny, my friend. Thank you.

[Eric]

You're welcome.

[Bert]

Have a good day.

[Jeff]

You know what's. You know what's creepier than you watching Laguna Beach?

[Jeremy]

What?

[Jeff]

That guy working for the girl Scouts.

[Bert]

The bird show. Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless.

[Eric]

And if you haven't made the switch.

[Bert]

Yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month.

[Jeremy]

Three, no big contracts.

[Bert]

Four, I use it.

[Jeremy]

Five, my mom uses it.

[Fred Weir]

Are you.

[Jeff]

Are you playing me off?

[Bert]

That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for.

[Tracy]

A three month plan. $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer, first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com.

[Fred Weir]

Acast powers the world's best podcasts.

[Bert]

Here's a show that we recommend.

[Melissa Carter]

Hello, this is Jesse and Lenny Ware from Table Manners, a podcast direct from our dining table where we talk all things food, family, growing up, and everything in between. And everything in between. This season we've had Reese Witherspoon reveal the greatest cookie recipe. We had Gary Oldman, who's freshly knighted. Sir Gary Oldman.

[Bert]

Sir Gary Oldman.

[Melissa Carter]

We did some singing with Gloria Estefan. And Jeremy Allen White has shared some culinary stories with us. And it's not just this series. We've had plenty of other brilliant guests where you can listen back to all the episodes. People like Cher, Dolly Parton, Kate Winslet, S, Paul McCartney, John Legend, Benny Blanco, and Selena Gomez. We've had them all and we fed them very well. Come and listen to Table Manners, the podcast with me, Jesse Ware and Lenny.

[Bert]

Anywhere Acast helps creators launch, grow and.

[Jeff]

Monetize their podcasts everywhere.

[Bert]

Acast.com.