Full Show PT 1: Monday, November 3 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Monday, November 3 [Vault]

Airdate: November 3, 2025
Summary by an Expert Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings listeners a lively mix of engaging, real-life stories, listener call-ins, and unfiltered discussion. The cast—Burt, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and crew—navigate topics ranging from the most romantic gestures ever made, to the honest anxieties and dreams of singlehood and wedding planning, to the perils and awkwardness of blind dates. Balancing humor, warmth, and a good dose of skepticism, the team creates a space for listeners to share their lives and to weigh in on matters of the heart.

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Key Segments, Discussion Points, and Insights

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1. “Romance Poker” – The Epic Romantic Gesture Story Battle

[01:10–19:57]

Main Premise

The show opens with a tongue-in-cheek “dangerous game”—callers and hosts compete to share the most epic, memorable, or over-the-top romantic story. Each tale is measured against "Jeff's unbeatable story," progressively raising the bar through listener contributions.

Notable Romantic Stories (with Timestamps)

• Roses & Candlelight – [02:04]
  • Caller recalls her brother-in-law delivering roses with personalized notes across different stages of a first date, ending with a romantic homemade dinner and dancing on a lit-up porch.
  • “She was in forever. No wonder it’s brother-in-law.” – Jen [02:46]
• Tattooed Commitment – [03:29]
  • A caller describes her ex getting her name tattooed over his heart three months into dating—sparking a debate about grand gestures and prudence.
  • “That’s almost psycho.” – Jeff [03:54]
  • “He still has it.” – Caller [04:24]
• The Slow-Build Love – [05:22]
  • A listener recounts a relationship where "I love you" was said at three months, but they waited eight months for their first kiss, valuing emotional caution after past heartache.
  • “Are you sure he wasn’t having an outbreak?” – Jeff jokes, poking at the long wait [06:41]
• Coast-to-Coast Romance – [08:02]
  • Caller describes meeting her future husband over the phone in different states; they finally meet after months and are soon married.
  • “Love at first sound.” – Burt [08:36]

The Swing and the Portrait Story – [09:11]

• The show’s most compelling rival to Jeff’s tale is told: a couple shares a first “I love you” on a garden swing in college, a place immortalized by a custom portrait gifted at graduation, and the scene of his proposal.
  • “He hired artists to come and paint a portrait of the swing, which he gave me as my graduation gift and then proposed to me there a month later.” – Caller [09:49]

Jeff’s “Epic” Story Revealed – [11:01–14:29]

• The Plot: Jeff spins a dramatic, cinema-worthy narrative. His friend, during a fraught on-again, off-again relationship, books last-minute flights to New York, convinces his ex-girlfriend to join, sweeps her away (while she's dating someone else), then whisks her off from NYC to Paris for a week. After emotional twists and turns abroad, they return home, realizing they're right for each other (celebrating their 10-year wedding anniversary).
  • “He books two plane tickets for midnight to New York City… They get on a plane, go up to New York… He calls Air France and books two tickets to Paris.” – Jeff [12:04]
  • “This is the stuff that movies are made of.” – Jeff [10:46]
  • “The effort doesn’t matter, I guess, sometimes if it’s last minute or planned out way in advance. But just doing the work to make something happen…” – Jeff [10:20]
  • The debate: Does expensive spontaneity or thoughtful planning make for a better story?

Critical Analysis & Listener Reactions

• Planning vs. Spontaneity:
  • The team and callers dissect the romantic merits—some admire the spontaneous, big-scale gesture, others feel the swing story’s thoughtfulness resonates more.
    • “From the planning perspective, the swing story has a lot more that went into that than this one did.” – Jen [16:07]
• Ethics of ‘Stealing’ a Partner:
  • Some question if Jeff’s friend's story is truly romantic, given the girlfriend was seeing someone else at the time. Multiple listeners and hosts express discomfort, noting it might feel romantic only for the couple, not for the “other man.”
  • “If you’re her ex-boyfriend, yeah, this probably isn’t romantic.” – Jeff [14:39]
  • “It didn’t have deceit in the middle of it.” – Jason, caller [18:53]

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2. “The Wedding Plan Book” – Amy’s Hyper-Prepared Single Life

[20:33–38:00]

Main Topic

Amy, a single woman who hasn’t dated in four years, confesses to having her wedding 100% planned—location, photographer, florist, even children’s names—just missing a groom.

Discussion Points

• Is This Planning ‘Crazy’ or Honest?
  • The show debates whether Amy’s pre-planning is actually uncommon or just unusually candid.
  • “I think women have an idea in their mind what they want their wedding to look like long before they have a boyfriend.” – Melissa [25:14]
• Pressure and Singlehood
  • Amy discusses being content but ready for love, clarifying she isn't desperate but likes to be prepared, aiming to marry in the next three years—but won’t be “crushed” if not.
  • “I’m just tired of being at home. I just want to meet someone.” – Amy [31:41]
• Dating Setup Live On-Air
  • Several men call to “pitch” themselves: from Douglas, the easygoing realist, to Carlos, the comic “Latino looking for an American wife,” and finally John.
  • The hosts vet Amy, teasing out dealbreakers and flexibility (i.e., “must love dogs and water sports”; children's names set on Sadie Bell).
  • “I’m a consultant… recruiting/human resources.” – Amy [28:29]
  • “I would love to have twins: Macon and Mason. Girls would be McCullough, Sadie Bell.” – Amy [36:48]
  • “You don’t sound so crazy to me at all… you just sound very, very honest.” – Burt [32:01]
• Show’s Takeaway
  • Amy’s openness is admired but good-naturedly ribbed, with the hosts reflecting on societal expectations around women’s “marriage timeline” honesty.

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3. First Date Fridays: Janice’s Bold Blind Date Adventure

[39:19–59:18]

Part 1: The Setup

• Janice, 24, is set up for a blind date (by her stepmom) with a 48-year-old man. She flies to Jacksonville, is picked up by the date (a pilot), then flown to Miami for the weekend.
• Discussion covers parental approval (dad opposes), age-gap relationships, and whether her stepmother’s encouragement is motivated by the man’s status/money.
• “I’ve dated older men before too though.” – Janice [45:15]
• “A 49-year-old man dating a 17-year-old girl—pedophile.” – Burt [45:39]
• Janice says her main motivation is finding stability and someone ready to settle down—as younger men have disappointed her.
• The hosts express concern about safety and vulnerability, especially with Janice’s 6-year-old daughter in mind.

Part 2: The Aftermath

[52:14–59:18]

• Janice returns and recaps her weekend: The date was "cute" in person, but almost immediately upon arriving, he revealed a box of condoms and made persistent advances.
  • “We were unpacking our bags and he pulls out a box of condoms and says, see, look, I came prepared…” – Janice [53:38]
• She spent the weekend fending him off, frustrated by his lack of subtlety.
• Despite sharing the same hotel bed (clothed), she did not feel unsafe but says she would never see him again.
• Her stepmom apologized; Janice reflects she should have gotten her own room and car “next time.”
  • “I was definitely glad to be home yesterday… But it was an okay time. I had a good experience.” – Janice [54:53]
• The hosts conclude with a reminder that grand gestures (especially those involving private jets and hotel rooms) can come with expectations.
• “Guess what, Janice, they’re gonna expect the same thing this 48-year-old expected.” – Melissa [58:09]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On romantic gestures:
  “This is the stuff that movies are made of.” – Jeff [10:46] “But every now and then, Stacy, you'll get in that hole—tell me what you love about me. List will tap at about 4. This guy had three dozen reasons on a first date.” – Burt [03:10]
• On love and planning:
  “You don't sound so crazy to me at all. You just sound very, very honest.” – Burt [32:01]
• On age-gap dating:
  “If you're a 41-year-old guy dating a 17-year-old, you're all about playing games.” – Jeff [46:25]
• On the perils of big romantic moves:
  “If he had paced himself a little more, he could have gotten it, but because he, you know, first thing he unpacks out of his, you know, carry on is the box. Slow down, chief.” – Jeff [60:01]
• On wedding pre-planning:
  “What is the difference between most women and Amy?” – Melissa [24:17] “Most guys live with the notion that women are ready to marry at all times. We just don't want to hear about it.” – Burt [27:52]

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Tone & Language

• Conversational, candid, sometimes irreverent—hosts frequently tease one another, poke fun at societal norms, and exhibit skepticism toward overly saccharine, impractical, or "soap opera" romance.
• Listeners are invited into the candor, with call-in segments providing authenticity and humor.

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Useful Timestamps for Navigation

• [01:10–19:57] – Romantic story competition and Jeff's "movie-worthy" narrative
• [20:33–38:00] – Amy and the dream wedding with no groom; live dating setup
• [39:19–59:18] – Janice’s blind date saga, from plan to uncomfortable reality

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Final Takeaways

The Bert Show episode is a fun, sometimes poignant glimpse into the modern romantic psyche—showcasing the tension between fantasy and reality, planning and spontaneity, and the ever-conflicted desires for true love, security, and adventure. The hosts’ willingness to challenge listeners and each other keeps the tone lively and authentic, making (sometimes cringe-worthy) real-life stories both accessible and entertaining.

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Best For: Anyone who loves real talk about relationships, enjoys hearing everyday people’s wild and heartfelt stories, or just needs a dose of morning laughter with a side of relatability.

Transcript

[Caller/Guest]

A PSA from Instacart. It's Sunday, 5pm you had a non stop weekend. You're running on empty and so is your fridge. You're in the trenches of the Sunday scaries. You don't have it in you to go to the store, but this is your reminder. You don't have to. You can get everything you need delivered through Instacart so that you can get.

[Melissa]

What you really need.

[Caller/Guest]

More time to do whatever you want. Instacart for. For one less Sunday. Scary. We're here.

[Burt]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this fall, take care of the little ones in the family. With Baby Club Savings now through November 4, spend $25 on select Baby Club products and save $5. Shop for items like Pedia Shore bottles, Pedialyte powder packs, Huggies baby wipes, Huggies diapers, Gerber puffs and Gerber pouches. And save $5 when you buy $25 or more on participating products. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons safeway.com for more details. The Birch show this is almost a dangerous game to play here, and I'll tell you why. Because it may bum you out. It may just bum you out.

[Melissa]

Oh, if your story isn't. Doesn't live up to all these.

[Burt]

Well, because it happened to you and the emotions are so real for you and your story is great for you. When you hear the one that Jeff has, you may just go, yeah, yeah, maybe it's not. Maybe it's not as good as I thought it was.

[Melissa]

No, Jeff's story is pretty universal.

[Burt]

Like it. This is as unique as it gets. You would have, you would have to have the financial means to put together the romantic scenario that Jeff's friend put together. But I don't think it all necessarily has to do with money.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Burt]

It doesn't. It shouldn't have to, you know.

[Jen]

Well, we don't. Melissa and I don't know what this story is. So we, we. I mean, I can't give it my stamp of approval as the most romantic thing yet, especially if it costs a lot of money to do because sometimes I think that that's an easier way out.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Burt]

Good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hello.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning.

[Burt]

Hi.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. I have a story that's actually about my sister and my brother in law on their first date. He sent her half a dozen roses to work that had on each rose he had typed a label of a reason why he liked her. And then when she got home, she had another half a dozen roses waiting with the same thing. And then when he picked her up, he had another dozen roses the same way. And he took her to his house where he had. He had a big covered porch in the back that he had all lit up, and he had cooked her filet mignon and all this big, nice dinner with candlelights and music, and they danced all night.

[Jen]

Hmm. That's their first date.

[Caller/Guest]

First date. Wow.

[Jen]

She was in forever. No wonder it's brother in law.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly.

[Burt]

Although in some cases, you can show your hand a little bit too quickly. That might freak somebody out. Like all that over the top on a first date. Yeah, that might freak.

[Caller/Guest]

Somebody was eating it up.

[Burt]

Those are. That's pretty good, Jeff.

[Jeff]

Not even close.

[Burt]

Not even close, Jeff. Not even.

[Melissa]

It's a good story, though.

[Jeff]

It's a great story.

[Caller/Guest]

Thanks. Y' all have a great morning.

[Melissa]

You too.

[Burt]

That's impressive there, though, cuz, you know, every now and then, Stacy, you'll get in that hole.

[Caller/Guest]

Tell me what you love about me.

[Burt]

List will tap at about 4. This guy had three dozen reasons on a first date.

[Jeff]

Feeling a little lame, you know, he had. He was on thesaurus.com. he's like, what's another word for sense of humor?

[Burt]

Hey, Kelly. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. How are you?

[Burt]

Good. You've got a tough game of, like, romantic courting poker going on, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, my story is he's my ex husband now, but when we were dating, we hit it off really fast and really quick. And one of the things that really put me over with him was he went out and got a tattoo of my name over his heart.

[Jen]

Whoa.

[Jeff]

That's almost psycho.

[Burt]

How long were y' all going out when he did that?

[Caller/Guest]

About three months.

[Burt]

So you weren't even married? Not engaged. There was no lifetime commitment. This guy tattoos your name over his heart?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Melissa]

Yeah. And he's really bummed right now because you said he's your ex, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, he's my ex. But we're still friends. We ended up getting married. We were married for seven years, and we have a daughter. But he was. He was kind of young at the.

[Burt]

Time, but what did he do? What did he do with that tattoo?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, he still has it.

[Jeff]

Really?

[Jen]

He didn't turn it into, like, a snake or a butterfly or something else?

[Caller/Guest]

No, no, no.

[Melissa]

He will.

[Burt]

Puzzle.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

What's your name?

[Caller/Guest]

Kelly.

[Jeff]

So you didn't change it into, like, find some other word that is, like, similar to Kelly and try to somehow Modify it.

[Caller/Guest]

No, no.

[Melissa]

I mean, talk about someone new who sees that for the first time.

[Burt]

That's hardcore, right?

[Jeff]

You got a warning. You have to warn him before the first time. If he's with a new girl and they're getting intimate.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

And then it starts to get time to where you're gonna get undressed. Do you turn all the lights out or do you warn them and go.

[Jen]

Look?

[Jeff]

I just want to give you a heads up.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. I don't know. He's still chasing me.

[Burt]

Actually, I would put, like, a big old bandage over it.

[Jeff]

What happened to you?

[Melissa]

I got shot.

[Burt]

It's a nicotine patch. I have to have it there for the next 40 years. Jeff, does that story beat yours? A tattoo of the name over the heart. Nope, nope, nope. All right.

[Jeff]

Sorry.

[Burt]

D9. Good morning. You are on the Burt show. All the hits, Q100. Hello.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello. Good morning, Burt Show.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

I love you guys. You guys are great.

[Burt]

Thank you. This is a tough game of poker for you because you don't know what Jeff's hand is. All you know is that it's great.

[Caller/Guest]

No. Well, I at least want to share my story because it's great. Okay, well, what's romantic about my. Well, now he's my husband, but when we were dating is just how slow he took everything. We were kind of friends before in a group of friends, and we kind of noticed each other, started hanging out more, went on a date, couple of dates. And it was Christmas Eve, three months after our first date, that he told me that he loved me, but we hadn't kissed yet. And he told me, he said, I don't want to kiss another girl or give my heart away or anything like that. We've both been through really tough relationships in the past. And he said, I don't want to kiss another girl or give my heart to her until I know that I'm going to marry her. And it was that next summer, I guess it was August, we had taken a trip to the beach with a couple of our friends. And he kissed me on the beach that night and said, you're the girl for me. And we've been married for a year and are expecting our first child.

[Melissa]

Well, that's fantastic. I mean, congratulations.

[Jen]

But I. Hold on.

[Burt]

Here comes the cynic motorcycle.

[Jen]

No, no, no, no.

[Melissa]

It's not cynic. I'm just. I just want.

[Jen]

Sure.

[Melissa]

I got the details correct. That's all he said. I love you after three months.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

And you didn't kiss for another six months?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

So eight months into your relationship, you never even kissed?

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

Are you sure he wasn't having an outbreak?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, no, no, no, no. He was just very respectful, very slow, just with his feelings. And he just didn't want to give his heart away because it had hurt really bad in the past. So I respected him for that. He respected me. So it was just. It was such a sweet thing. Very romantic.

[Jen]

Very romantic.

[Burt]

Nine months.

[Jen]

I would agree with her, though, that that's very romantic because, I mean, people.

[Caller/Guest]

Thought we were crazy, you know, oh, you don't love each other. But it was so special.

[Jen]

It's just so opposite of, like, typical male behavior, you know, most male.

[Caller/Guest]

I think it was just because he had been hurt so bad that he just was so cautious with his heart. And that made me respect him even more.

[Burt]

All right, Jeff, is that better than your story? I mean, didn't kiss her for nine months. Waited. The next girl he's gonna kiss is the woman he's gonna marry, and he knows that, so he waits nine months. Is that better than yours? No, no, no.

[Caller/Guest]

I love.

[Jen]

Whatever.

[Caller/Guest]

I love him.

[Jen]

Whatever.

[Jeff]

I'm not saying he's a bad person. I'm just saying that the story I have is better than that.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Frustration. I'm frustrated. Eight months later.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Yeah. I couldn't wait. No, nothing. Good Morning, Burt Show. Hey, before I kiss you for the first time, can I put in this dental dam? Hey, Jennifer. Good morning.

[Jeff]

Save that.

[Burt]

Save it.

[Jeff]

Save it and use it often.

[Caller/Guest]

Save it twice.

[Burt]

Hey, Jennifer. Good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning. I think I can maybe match, if not beat his friend.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

My husband and I actually met on the telephone. He worked for a company in San Diego, California, and I was here in Atlanta. And after talking for a while, he gave me his number and we talked for three months. And he said he just had to meet me. So he flew me to San Diego and took me to Palm Springs, and then seven months later, asked me to marry him. And we've been together ever since.

[Burt]

Long distance relationship has the instinct, flies her out. They go to Palm Springs. Love at first sight.

[Melissa]

Fate. We love it for sound.

[Burt]

Love at first sound. Destiny.

[Jeff]

It's a nice story and no disrespect to either of you, but mine's better.

[Caller/Guest]

Yours is better?

[Jeff]

Yeah, much.

[Melissa]

I'm just curious. He was a telemarketer. I guess she's gone.

[Caller/Guest]

No, actually, we worked in the mortgage business, and he was a lender that I dealt with on a constant basis. And so that's how we met. And so, yeah, it was very romantic. It was lovely.

[Burt]

Jeff says it was nice, but he's got a hand that can beat that.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it's a cool story, and I'm sure that the Hallmark Channel would love to make a movie of it, but it's good.

[Burt]

Lindsay here. The last chance. Good morning, Lindsay.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Burt]

Knock him out. Knock him down here.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, here we go. So my husband and I both went to Clemson University, and we started dating. And a few months later, he took me to these botanical gardens and took me to this swing, like a porch swing, and said, I love you for the first time. It was the first time he'd ever told anyone he loved them. And then I graduated in May, and he took me. I'm sorry. He hired artists to come and paint a portrait of the swing, which he gave me as my graduation gift and then proposed to me there a month later.

[Burt]

Whoa, whoa.

[Jen]

I got chill bones.

[Burt]

That's too good.

[Melissa]

Come on.

[Burt]

That is good.

[Caller/Guest]

Beat that, Jack.

[Burt]

That is good.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, Jesus.

[Melissa]

Beat that, Jeff.

[Jeff]

This is my house.

[Melissa]

That is my swing.

[Jeff]

I will tell you that of the stories we have heard, yours is second behind mine. Unfortunately, it's a distant, distant second.

[Burt]

That's strong.

[Jen]

That was awesome.

[Burt]

That's really strong.

[Jen]

I'm still not sure Jeff's can beat it.

[Jeff]

Oh, trumps it.

[Burt]

Jeff says he can crush it.

[Jeff]

And we've had a lot of stories of great engagements on the air, and those were all awesome. And you guys always talk about how it's the effort. Well, the effort doesn't matter, I guess sometimes if it's last minute or if it's planned out way in advance. But just doing the work to make something happen, I think says a lot. And then if what happens is really big, then the story gets even better. So epic. Epic. And this is the stuff that movies are made of.

[Melissa]

Guys, you are building this up. You better follow through.

[Burt]

Now, this is the.

[Melissa]

Yeah, you're exact. You're doing the guy exaggeration.

[Jeff]

It's not an exaggeration. It's great.

[Melissa]

This is the epic romantic story.

[Jeff]

And guys are gonna hate this because, you know it's gonna involve paying off your credit card for the next six months. But it was still an awesome story. We were. Jessica and I were at dinner with some friends of ours, and they told us the story of, like, when they were dating and everything. They dated and they broke up and dated, broke up, dated and broke up. And they were actually broken up at the time, but he was still interested in her. He was he knew he was in love with her, knew it was the girl that he was supposed to marry. She was actually seeing someone else at the time. But he knew in his heart that he was meant to be with her. And he had felt it for a long time. And he was starting to panic because I guess it was like the longest period of time. They hadn't broken up, they hadn't gotten back together. So he said, look, we gotta go to dinner. So they went to dinner. And while they're at dinner, he's selling her on how great the two of them are together and says, you know, we need to be together. And I think she had gone into that dinner prepared to say, you know, we're not gonna be together. But she started to open up to it and she started to remember all the great times they had.

[Melissa]

Exes dangerous, more dangerous than anybody knew.

[Jeff]

And so they. Yeah, so they. They were having the conversation about how, you know, they were getting like. Her friends are telling her to stay away from him. His friends are. You know, he's so obsessed with her. His friends are saying, stay away from her. So they're getting all this outside influence. In the course of dinner, they decided that if they were just alone together for if it was just him and it was just her, then the relationship would be fine. So he excuses himself from the table and he makes a phone call. And he books two plane tickets for midnight to New York City. And they're at dinner and he comes back to the table and he says, we're gonna get away. And she says, I can. I have work. He goes, I'll call your boss. I'll take care of it. I'll handle everything. She goes, well, I'm dating someone here. He says, call him from New York. We just decided that if it was just you and I, we could make this work. So they go to dinner, they go to a show, and by the end of the show, they decided to go to New York together. So they. It's 10:30 o', clock, you know, 10:30 at night. And she says, well, I can't go to tomorrow. He goes, we'll buy stuff in New York. Let's go. So they go to the airport, they get on a plane, they go up to New York. He had excused himself again. He made reservations at a hotel on Central park and had the hotel send a limousine. So the limousine picks him up at the airport, takes him to the hotel that night. He says, this is not going to be enough. A weekend in New York is not going to be enough. He Excuses himself. He calls Air France and books two tickets to Paris. So the next day she wakes up and he says, we need to go shopping because we're going to be gone for a week. He takes her shopping and they buy all the clothes and all the toiletries and everything they need for a week in Paris. Later that day they get on a plane, they fly to Paris. They spend five or six nights in Paris. He books a direct flight home to Atlanta. They fly back to Atlanta. And while they were in Paris, they admitted there were a lot of they were fighting. There were times where she said, I gotta go home. This is crazy. I can't believe I'm doing this. There were times where he said, go home, you belong there. She always came back. There were times that he wanted to leave. He always came back. But at the end of the seven day long trip, they decided that they were right for each other. And they have been married ever since. They just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary last year.

[Burt]

Now, Melissa instantly put the wall up when you said that she was seeing somebody. So this makes it, this doesn't make it a romantic story for you?

[Melissa]

Well, it depends. This is one of those stories where it depends on which side of the.

[Burt]

Relationship you were on.

[Jeff]

Right. By the way, if you're her ex boyfriend. Yeah. This probably isn't romantic. Right.

[Melissa]

And if she's not into him, that's a such an uncomfortable situation to be in. You know what I mean? It just, I mean it worked out for them and they've been together for 10 years. But yeah, the thought I had is for an ex to get there a seat in their head that they can just take, buy tickets and kidnap somebody to New York City.

[Burt]

Kidnapped?

[Melissa]

No, but I'm saying that if you were someone who was not into it as much as he was.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it just depends. It depends on which side of the coin you're on.

[Jeff]

Well, yeah, this phoner, it could have easily been the most money you have ever wasted on a relationship. But this one did work out. This one worked out. So it's the most romantic story when.

[Burt]

You'Re looking at it. See, like when I look at these things and you guys always roll your eyes and I get all cheesy romantic about it and I look at destiny. The dude that she was going out with at the time never had a chance. He was just part of the destiny of these two people being together. So it wasn't his destiny, it was these two to be together. And he was just kind of a pawn in the Whole thing.

[Jen]

I guess I can definitely respect the spontaneity of it because, I mean, I think it takes, you know, a whole lot of guts to be that spontaneous, you know, to do something that, you know, I mean, that's a pretty emotional thing to do, like, on a whim is, you know, to be able to do that. And he's, like, trying to prove himself to her. But as far as, like, the planning thing goes, I have to give it to the guy with the swing and the portrait.

[Burt]

No, come on.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I agree on a planning point.

[Jen]

Of view, like from the planning perspective, from the thoughtful planning, you know, putting, you know, a lot of time and effort and energy behind the scenes to surprise her or whatever. I mean, I think that the swing story has a lot more that went into that than this one did. Now, this one had a much fatter wallet behind it. But I think to women, that's not. I don't know. To me, maybe to me as woman, that's not as impressive just to be able to pull out the big platinum credit card.

[Burt]

Now, Jeff, many are calling up and they are shooting a hole in your friend's story that maybe the story was good, but it wasn't as great as he made it up to be based on one thing alone. Good morning, Brian.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Burt]

Good. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Jeff, I got a call. Your bluff sounds good, but where are the passports?

[Jeff]

He had his with him, and they did go back to her house to get an overnight bag, and he told her to get it. And the detail that I forgot out, left out was her boyfriend was so panicked that she was going out with an ex for the reason Melissa said, like, he knew that was dangerous, that when they were getting at. In the car at her house, her boyfriend drove by slowly and saw him putting a bag in the back seat and knew that it was over.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

If you're.

[Jen]

If you're.

[Melissa]

If your boyfriend or girlfriend comes up to you and says, you know what? I'm going to just go to dinner with the ex. I'm just going to dinner. It is so innocent. Then you might as well, you know what? Go ahead and leave. Go ahead and leave.

[Jeff]

And then she. And the worst part about it, if you are the ex boyfriend, when she called to let him know that she.

[Melissa]

Was in New York.

[Jeff]

No, she called from Paris.

[Burt]

Yeah, it's not romantic on that side.

[Jeff]

Hey, where have you been? I'm in France. He decided to take me to France at the last minute.

[Burt]

In any good love story, somebody has to get.

[Melissa]

Not necessarily, man. Look at Titanic, the Clemson story. Titanic, the Clemson story. We heard about the chair involved. Nobody else but those two.

[Burt]

That's why I don't think it makes it as good as this one. This is a soap opera. This is many layers, levels.

[Jeff]

You know what? Here's the deal. It depends on who's producing the movie or writing the book. If it's a movie, then this is the best story because there's heartbreak and plane flights or whatever. But if you're Nicholas Sparks, paint the picture of the swing.

[Melissa]

Right, right, right.

[Burt]

Hey, Jason.

[Jeff]

Hey.

[Caller/Guest]

I'll take number two. I think number one, Jeff's story had too much drama, too much negative emotions going back and forth. I think the simplicity of number two and the spontaneity of just dropping the picture and getting the same results as number one, you got to give it to number two. That was simple. It was more honest, and it didn't have deceit in the middle of it. And I think with her going behind her boyfriend's back and him going around to do all this stuff and spending all this money, I don't think it was as good as number two.

[Burt]

It's become romance idol is what it's become.

[Jeff]

Romance story idol.

[Melissa]

Jeff's story is only romantic because they've been married for 10 years. You know, like, for me, if I didn't know how long they've been together, I would think, well, if he had to talk her into coming to, you know, if they had to spend seven days or nine days or however long they were together in order to talk her into being with him, then. But, you know, 10 years later is only what makes it, you know, that's what I said.

[Jeff]

This easily could have been the most money ever spent on a failed relationship.

[Burt]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through November 4th. Shop the annual beauty event and save $5 when you spend 25 dol on select beauty products. Shop in store or online for items like Dove Body Wash, Native Body Wash, Cetaphil gentle skin cleanser, Dr. Squatch body wash, Neutrogena Hydro Boost water gel, Dial Liquid hand soap and Olay body wash. And say $5 when you spend $25 or more. Offer ends Nov. 4. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Jen]

Are you noticing your car insurance rate creep up even without tickets or claims?

[Caller/Guest]

You're not alone.

[Jen]

That's why there's Jerry, your proactive insurance assistant. Jerry handles the legwork by comparing quotes side by side. From over 50 top insurers so you can confidently hit buy. No spam calls, no hidden fees. Jerry even tracks rates and alerts you when it's best to shop. Drivers who save with Jerry could save over $1,300 a year. Don't settle for higher rates. Download the Jerry app or visit Jerry AI Acast.

[Melissa]

Today.

[Jeff]

The Birch Show.

[Burt]

All right, let's talk about Amy here, because about a week ago, she called us up and was very, very honest. She said, you guys are gonna laugh at this, but here's my truth.

[Caller/Guest]

You guys are really gonna love this one. I have the location, the photographer, the florist. I even have the children's names picked out. And I'm not even in a relationship. I haven't been in one in over four years.

[Melissa]

Come on.

[Caller/Guest]

No kidding.

[Jen]

That's almost. I almost think that that's more okay than if you had a boyfriend because she's still at dreamy level.

[Burt]

No, but she's got everything.

[Jeff]

Did you say you had a date?

[Caller/Guest]

I don't have the date. I'm flexible with the date. But I do have the location where I would like to have it. I definitely have the florist and the photographer pretty much kind of locked in. That David. Greedy. Whenever you do it, we will make it happen for you.

[Jeff]

We got to check in with her like every 30 days for the.

[Caller/Guest]

You need to do the burnt show hookup.

[Burt]

Any guy that would listen to this conversation wouldn't be calling up to get hooked up with you.

[Caller/Guest]

I gotta tell you, probably be running scared.

[Melissa]

So.

[Jeff]

So why don't we. Why don't we put it out there and we'll. And we'll get her a couple dates and we'll line those up and then we'll see. But I. And if none of those work out, I love the idea of just sticking with her every couple of months and just seeing.

[Burt]

Find out if anybody's fallen into the trap. All right, so let me put the phone number out here real quick. 404-741-1005. If you're a guy and you just listen to Amy and you say, that doesn't scare me at all. That doesn't scare me. Not even a little bit. Because the common theory, I think, is most guys have, I mean, big time commitment problems.

[Jen]

Well, or they're afraid of a woman who wants to rush right into something like that. You know, that's sort of the stereotype of women that we've all got our weddings planned and, you know, all we have to do is insert groom here and I Mean, Amy actually does have the full details of the plan, but it's sort of, you know, just typically something that would scare off a guy.

[Burt]

If we're gonna set Amy up with a guy, let's find out a little bit more about her. Hey, Amy.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Burt]

All right, in listening back to that. So you have the florists all picked out, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Burt]

Photographer.

[Caller/Guest]

Done.

[Burt]

All right. You said flexible on the date. What do you mean by that?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm flexible as far as, like, what time of year it is, and I'm a little flexible on the location as long as it's outside. So, of course, if it's going to be outside, that dictates the date a little bit.

[Jen]

What's your preference on time of year?

[Caller/Guest]

Probably fall.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Burt]

Yeah. This doesn't sound so odd to me, though. Like, I mean, to me, you don't sound any different than most women that have, like. Like, you don't have things actually signed, sealed, and delivered. You haven't called the florist or the photographer and have a contract signed. But I think most women, even if they're not married or even have a boyfriend, have the same ideas.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I think there's a difference between having, like, an idea and, like, the person in your address book, you know, and, like, me saying, honey, I love you. But it is this florist, period. It is this photographer.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, here's my observation is there's a lot of women who already have probably a collection in a binder or in a folder or in their, you know, filing cabinet of places that, you know, that they've seen, or florists they've seen that they would like to use. I mean, how's that different from Amy? And then if a woman says, this is how I want it to be. Well, a lot of guys. How many guys participate in the planning process of their wedding more so than just let the woman do it. What's. I'm just asking, what is the difference between most women and Amy?

[Jen]

I guess it is more of an idea. She's got the actual vendors, the actual location, the phone numbers, website, like, kind of what she was saying. She's got all these specific details. Like, when I was going to weddings over the last, you know, over the years before I got married, I would, like, take notes on things I liked or things that I didn't like. My mom would do that when she would go to weddings, and we'd sort of compile them all together. Like, when we plan, we want to remember this is a good idea, or don't Forget.

[Burt]

Forget.

[Jen]

You know, this is a bad idea or whatever. But I think having the specifics of it really makes it more like all you have to do is insert a dude in.

[Burt]

In a guy's mind. Well, let me just say in my mind, because I'm certainly a bad representative of guys, that it's no. It's no different. Like, in listening to you say that you were making notes along the way before you even had a boyfriend. To me, it's no different than her story at all.

[Jen]

I had a boyfriend, and I think that we were engaged because I had a pretty long engagement. But you don't think it makes different.

[Melissa]

But I think. I think that women have an idea in their mind what they want their wedding to look like long before they have a boyfriend. I think that's what you. I think you start as a kid, and then it adapts as you grow older.

[Jen]

Do you think Amy's different because she's just so honest and open about it? And most women hide it.

[Burt]

Right, Amy, let's find out a little bit of some other stuff here. Also, can I ask you. Can I ask you how old you are?

[Caller/Guest]

I'll be 34 in two weeks.

[Burt]

34 in two weeks. Do you find yourself more eager to be married than your friends?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I have it planned. But I want to preface. I don't want to walk down the aisle next year. If it happened, that would be great, but I'm not one of those timeline women who's like, okay, when I get this age, I have to be married, and when I get this age, I have to have a child. When it happens, it happens. But I'm ready for it. You know what I mean? I'm absolutely, you know, if the guy said, hey, you know, we've been in this relationship a while. Let's get married, I would totally whip out my book and be like, done.

[Burt]

I would be done.

[Jen]

I gotta call you out on the timeline thing, because if you weren't worried about the timeline at all, then you wouldn't feel like you needed to be so prepared for when it happens. Because when he said, like you said, if he says, let's get married, you're like, boom, done. So to me, that reinforces that you do sort of have a timeline.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, obviously, I would, you know, in the next three years, would love to be married.

[Burt]

So there is a timeline.

[Melissa]

Yeah. And I.

[Jen]

That's. That was my point. I'm just saying. No, it's okay. I'm just saying that I think it's hard for us not to live with a timeline. Women who live without a timeline, I admire greatly because I think it is very, very rare.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Well, I would definitely love to be married in three years. It doesn't happen. It's not going to, you know, kill me or crush me. But I'm also not looking to just meet the husband right away.

[Melissa]

Well.

[Caller/Guest]

And I want to meet some folks, period.

[Melissa]

Well, and I think that as long as you are in a. You know, because the other thing that is dangerous about just putting the groom into a situation is the fact that if you are dating a guy and you decide that you don't want. Want to date him anymore and that you're willing to break up with someone and know that it's the next guy's not necessarily going to be your husband, then I think you're still in a healthy position, because I think, you know, most women. Most people have this dream of being with someone for the rest of their lives and being in true love. But it, you know, just because they want that doesn't mean that the next person that comes along is that person.

[Burt]

And again, from a guy's point of view, I think we all live. The guys live with the notion that women are ready to marry at all times. That's how we think that you think we just don't want to hear about it.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt]

So when you're so out there about it, like, you, I mean, basically have the book ready to go, that's the thing that I think freaks us all out.

[Jen]

If you listen closely, you can hear it tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

[Burt]

What's the biological clock?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt]

There are guys that are on hold right now that can't wait to go out. All right, let's find out a couple more things about you. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Burt]

What do you do for a living?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm a consultant.

[Burt]

Can you say in what field?

[Caller/Guest]

Recruiting human resources.

[Burt]

Okay. The celebrity you most look like.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, I've been told in the face, Drew Barrymore, but I think it's a far stretch.

[Burt]

Okay. In the face, Drew Barrymore. Douglas says that he is listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth, and you don't scare him at all. Hey, Douglas.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. How are you?

[Burt]

Good. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Good. Hi.

[Burt]

Now, Douglas, most guys hear these words that. I mean, she knows who the florist is gonna be, who's gonna be taking the pictures. She pretty much knows the location it's on. Her wedding is on her mind, dude. And you're saying that doesn't bother you?

[Caller/Guest]

No, not terribly, no. I'll tell You. I have dated a lot of girls in Atlanta and I have dated girls with lots of baggage, lots of crazy things. And if that's the craziest thing that she has ever done or has about her, then I have no problem with that.

[Burt]

See how the bar can be lowered on both ends of the gender. Also, like, he's so broken down, he's had to deal with so much baggage over his dating career that he's like, you know what, I've heard way crazier than that. I heard Samantha a couple of weeks ago. This is nothing. So, Douglas, what else has Amy said over the course of the last couple of days that you thought, okay, you know what, she sounds like the kind of girl for me besides that she's single?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I'll tell you, Bert, you know, you said, you mentioned that we all kind of all guys live with this premise that girls have marriage on the mind, that girls ready to be married at pretty much anytime. And you know, so I think that if we all could look into their minds or go into their diaries that they, that most women do have little things like that they, maybe they've thought about specific things, who they'd like to marry. So long as Amy hasn't said, okay, the guy has to be six foot one, dark hair, you know, all those specifics. I don't have a problem with it. I think that she sounds like a well rounded person and so she's just chosen to maybe go a little bit further in her fantasy about her marriage.

[Burt]

Now we haven't even asked her about that side. Hey, Amy, do you have a type kind of pigeonholed already?

[Caller/Guest]

Not really because I'm attracted to a lot of different kinds of people. The main thing is they must love dogs and definitely enjoy water. Being on water, water sports, that type thing. So as long as he can swim and he likes a dog, I'm open.

[Jen]

Do you have any deal breakers, Amy? Like if he's a smoker or if he doesn't have a job or if he didn't go to college or do you have any deal breakers like that?

[Caller/Guest]

I think I probably have. You know, I prefer that if they've been married and they have children, that the children aren't over like 8 to 10 years old. Other than that, I'm flexible. I'm just tired of being at home. I just want to meet someone. So I'm, I'm really kind of open and putting myself out there to experience whatever.

[Burt]

Amy, I want to tell you, just taking this, this whole thing right out of it, for me? Because you don't sound so crazy to me at all. You really don't. I mean, you just sound very, very honest. Like, I think if you ask most single women, they would say the same thing. I'm just tired of being alone, and I just want to share some experiences with somebody else in my life. I don't think you're crazy at all. You're really bumming me out.

[Jen]

Burt wanted you to be nuts.

[Burt]

Yeah, I thought we were gonna get some street talk out of this. I thought you were gonna be some crazy. You're not crazy at all. You're just very honest.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I'm sure there's people I've dated that would probably disagree with you, but, I mean. Yeah, I mean, I just. I really try to be honest, and I'm just trying to be open and just want to meet somebody, you know, and if we walk down the aisle, you guys. Front row seats, man.

[Burt]

Douglas, anything you want to ask Amy before I put you on hold and we'll get your numbers and all that?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, that was your. I was gonna ask you for a phone number.

[Burt]

We'll do that all off the air. Is there anything you want to tell her right now, off the bat, about your past that she should know? Like, on a first date? Like, you're not any kind of sexual.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, she probably should know that. I have been married before. I'm 35. I have been married before, but I'm divorced and have been for almost three years now.

[Burt]

How old are your kids?

[Caller/Guest]

I have none.

[Burt]

Okay. Amy, is this somebody you want me to put on hold for you?

[Caller/Guest]

That sounds great. I think all my. My Bell south moms are cheering for me right now.

[Burt]

Your Bell south mom?

[Jen]

Is that, like, women in the office who act like your mom?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, my Jewish mom. My Latino mom, Diane. My mom is in the car behind me, not even going into the office because she's sitting in the car listening.

[Burt]

Douglas, hold on one second, okay? Because you do have some competition.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay? Oh, great. Competition.

[Burt]

Much competition, actually. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Great.

[Burt]

Good morning, Carlos.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning.

[Burt]

How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm good. I'm good. Oh, Latino.

[Melissa]

Your Latina mom would be very happy about that.

[Caller/Guest]

She will be very happy. Yes. I am very Latino. Amy. I think you're the girl for me, Amy.

[Melissa]

And why is that, Carlos?

[Caller/Guest]

Because I've been looking for American wife for a long time now.

[Burt]

Carlos, where are you from?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm from Mexico.

[Burt]

I can't tell if you're being serious or not, man.

[Caller/Guest]

I am. It's just I'm with my Buddy. And he's making fun of me.

[Jeff]

Necesito cardo verde.

[Caller/Guest]

What?

[Jeff]

Nothing.

[Burt]

You're an ass, Amy.

[Jen]

I thought that, too.

[Burt]

Come on. The guy calls up here and says he's from Mexico, and the first thing you think of is, does he have a green.

[Jeff]

He said he's looking for an American wife.

[Jen]

I wonder why.

[Caller/Guest]

I've been looking for an American wife. I'm desperate, Carlos.

[Burt]

Do you have citizenship?

[Jeff]

Not till I get my American wife.

[Caller/Guest]

Because of that, I just like green guys.

[Jen]

That's great.

[Jeff]

Hey, Amy, you got to go out with. With Carlos just because he sounds cool.

[Caller/Guest]

I know. Just. Just for the Monday, you know, Friday, Friday night date update. Amy, you know what they say about us. Latino man.

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

Very hot. Very hot. Carlos?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Burt]

What is it about Amy that you've heard the last couple of days, besides her being American? Do you think that it would be a great date and she'd be a good catch for you?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. I mean, she's. She sounds like she's very ready to get. Commit. Committed. And that's what I'm looking for, to get committed.

[Burt]

It's cute if you have an accent when you say stuff like that.

[Jeff]

Hey, Carlos, how old are you?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm 31.

[Burt]

Why so eager to. To get married?

[Caller/Guest]

Because I just. I'm. I'm lonely, you know, I'm not from my country, and I really. I've been looking for an American wife. I'm just.

[Jen]

I think she's got to go out with him. He sounds fun.

[Jeff]

Absolutely.

[Burt]

Amy, you have any reservations of going out with Carlos?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Burt]

No.

[Caller/Guest]

Set it up.

[Jen]

Set it up.

[Melissa]

Set it up.

[Burt]

All right, Carlos, I'm gonna put you on hold. We'll set you up.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay? Okay.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Jeff]

No, don't hang up.

[Caller/Guest]

Don't hang up.

[Burt]

Don't you hang up.

[Jeff]

Why he hang up?

[Melissa]

Carlos, call back?

[Burt]

I think he was jacking with us.

[Jeff]

I don't know. That accent sound authentic?

[Melissa]

Well, I think his friend was the one saying, I'm gonna hang up, but maybe he's on his friend's phone.

[Jeff]

Didn't want to use the minutes to find true love.

[Burt]

Good morning, John.

[Caller/Guest]

What's up, guys?

[Burt]

Hey, you're gonna be the last call here for Amy. What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Not much.

[Burt]

You're on with Amy, so go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

What's going on, Amy? Not much. Right? Wrong. Trying to get hooked up. Huh? Trying to get hooked up.

[Jeff]

Trying to get married.

[Caller/Guest]

Hopefully you found the one.

[Jeff]

Did you ask. Did we ask Amy yet? Because we may have missed an opportunity with Carlos. Do we ask Amy yet? What the names of our kids are going to be in the future?

[Melissa]

Not yet, but she hasn't picked out. Doesn't she?

[Jeff]

Well, what if it's, like, Enrique and Graciela?

[Caller/Guest]

No, no, no. It's Whit Carlson. For a boy. Delt for a boy. I would love to have twins. Macon and Mason. Girls would be like McCullough. Sadie Bell. Those are the names.

[Jeff]

Sadie Bell. Why don't you just get a cow?

[Caller/Guest]

It's an old family name. Yeah, I know it's hard to understand, but it's a Southern old family.

[Jeff]

Well, it sounds like a sheep. You'd raise an ffa.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I know I have, like, five friends with dogs named Sadie, so.

[Burt]

And you're not. You're not flexible on that name. Amy.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt]

You're not flexible on that name at all?

[Caller/Guest]

Not Sadie. No.

[Jeff]

Okay, this is it. This is Sadie Bell. She won a blue ribbon back and coat.

[Jen]

Sadie Belle Gonzalez.

[Caller/Guest]

Rodriguez.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Sadie Bell Robertson. Gonzalez.

[Burt]

Amy, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put you on hold, and there is a whole phone bank of guys that honestly want to go out with you.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay?

[Burt]

You don't sound that crazy. You really. You ruined everything this morning. You ruined it all.

[Caller/Guest]

Sorry.

[Burt]

Hold on one second, all right? We'll put you on hold, we'll get their phone numbers, and then maybe we'll check back with you in a couple of weeks to see if you actually went out on any of these days. All right? Hold on. The Bird Show. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through November 4, shop the annual beauty event and save $5 when you spend 25 on select beauty products. Shop in store or online for items like Dove Body Wash, Native Body Wash, Cetaphil gentle skin cleanser, Dr. Squatch body wash, Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel. Dial Liquid Hand Soap and Olay Body wash and say $5 when you spend $25 or more. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Jen]

Most people overpay for car insurance, not because they're careless, but because switching feels like too much hassle. That's why there's Jerry, your proactive insurance assistant. Jerry compares rates side by side from over 50 top insurers and helps you switch with ease. Jerry even tracks market rates and alerts you when it's best to shop. No spam calls, no hidden fees. Drivers who save with Jerry could save over $1,300 a year. Switch with confidence. Download the Jerry app Or visit Jerry AI Acast today.

[Burt]

Hello listeners, Meet Lisa.

[Melissa]

Hey there.

[Burt]

Lisa runs an online boutique specializing in sustainable fashion. With Acast, she found a whole new way to reach eco conscious shoppers.

[Melissa]

Yep.

[Jen]

Recorded a quick ad, targeted listeners interested.

[Melissa]

In fashion and sustainability using Acast's audience attributes targeting feature and set my budget. Before I knew it, people all over.

[Caller/Guest]

Were hearing about my shop.

[Burt]

Now that's a smart way to grow your business.

[Jen]

Hey Lisa, what's trending right now?

[Melissa]

Shopping sustainably and my sales, of course.

[Burt]

Start reaching your ideal audience through podcast ads with Acast. Visit go.acast.com advertisement to get started early on Friday morning, took a call from Janice and from time to time we like to do this. We call them first date Fridays. Like if you have a date planned for the weekend, we check in with you on Friday and if it's a really unique situation, we'll check back with you on Monday just to find out how everything went. And Janice called us on Friday between like 6:30 and 7 and said that she was anxious but excited because her parents were setting her up on a blind date with a 48 year old man. She's 24 years old.

[Jen]

This is like first blind old man out of town date Friday.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

A lot of strikes going into.

[Melissa]

This one blind date and it's our first Friday to do this, so I can't wait till this one.

[Burt]

So, so many people have been calling over the last couple hours to find out what happened that we're gonna do this. We're gonna play this in two parts. We are going to play the original call that we took on Friday morning. For those of you that didn't hear that, you'll get invested in it. And then after that we'll play the call that we took from her this morning telling us everything that happened over the weekend. So let's go back to Friday between 6:30 and 7. And this is Janice calling us, telling her about her blind date. Hey Janice, good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning.

[Burt]

How are you today?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm doing all right, I guess. I think nerves have set in a little bit. I've been a little bit sick this morning. I'm on the way to the airport. But it's gonna be a good weekend, I think.

[Burt]

I mean this, the stakes are high here. I mean you are investing a lot. If you are investing on flying to Miami and you've got a what, 8 o' clock flight out of here?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, 7:55 and it's like an hour and 10 minutes away and I'm not there yet.

[Jen]

Just Because I don't really trust Bert's memory from reading his email. Will you tell us the background of this date you've got this weekend?

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I do want to first of all, clear up. My dad and my mom are divorced, and my dad is totally, 100% against this, but my mom is dating a man who's a really great guy, and this is a friend of his, and he does live in Virginia, and I'm actually flying this morning to Jacksonville, and he's gonna pick me up in Jacksonville this morning and fly me down on his plane to Miami. He's a pilot, so he does have, you know, transportation here and there. But he is 48. I am 24, and we've been talking on the phone for just over a week now, and he seems to be a nice guy. So we'll see how it goes.

[Jeff]

All right.

[Burt]

404-741-1005. Let the judging begin.

[Jeff]

Not gonna judge. I'm just gonna ask some questions. And I like to ask these questions of Jen and Melissa, as of you. Like, do you think in your mother's role is protector, she should raise a red flag about you meeting this man for the first time and not only having him pick you up at the commercial airport, but then driving you to his private plane and getting on a plane with you?

[Burt]

You don't think it's safe?

[Jen]

No.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I did talk to my mom about that, and she's definitely. She thinks he's a really nice guy. She's met him a few times. I mean, she's talked to him a lot, but she's met him a few times. And I mean, he's been flying for 23 years. We don't think the whole plane issue is gonna be, like, dangerous, but he seems to be a really nice guy at the plane.

[Jeff]

It's the alone with him and Jen and Melissa. Would your any circumstance where your mom would be.

[Melissa]

Okay, Well, I think. Let me ask Janice a question, because my answer is, do you consider your mom your best friend?

[Caller/Guest]

I do, yeah.

[Melissa]

Because I think the difference between me and Millie Pete is I don't consider Millie Pete my best friend. She's still my mom. So I would never, like, share dating experiences or, you know, anything like that with her. Like, she. There's still this hierarchy, so. No. No.

[Jeff]

Wouldn't you ask your mom, though, if you told her the story of. Yeah. I'm flying to Jacksonville. I'm getting on this guy's private plane. I've never met him before. Talk to him on the phone a Few times. Even if your mom had met him two or three times as a father.

[Melissa]

I think there's a difference between being best friends with your mom and a mother daughter because some women consider their mother their best friend and not somebody who is their mother.

[Burt]

Janice, let me ask you this question also about this guy because I think as a parent, you obviously want to set your children up with somebody that can provide a future for them. And what you're talking about is a 48 year old man that has his own jet, so he's doing really well for himself.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Do you think that your mom could be swayed just because the dude obviously has a lot of money?

[Caller/Guest]

I don't think so. I mean she's really not that type of person. I do want to clear up one more thing. She is actually my dad's second ex wife. So she was my stepmom at the age of 12 and till 17 when they divorced.

[Jeff]

So she's like. She's not your biological.

[Caller/Guest]

No, she's not my biological mom. But she became, you know, my mom figure at age of 12 and then they divorced at 17 when I was 17. And so since then is when, you know, we've been like best friends since then. So it's not my biological mom though.

[Burt]

Here's where I think the comfort of and the security of the money comes in. I think that her mom is looking at a guy that is doing really, really, really well. And when you've got that kind of cash and that kind of security for your daughter, then all of a sudden that guy becomes a lot better catch. I think maybe.

[Melissa]

Well, I don't.

[Caller/Guest]

I've dated older men before too though.

[Burt]

You have? How many, how many older men have you dated?

[Caller/Guest]

Significantly older? 3. Betty's boyfriend.

[Jeff]

Significantly older is double your age or older.

[Caller/Guest]

I dated around 17, a man who just turned 49 last month.

[Melissa]

Oh my goodness. Janice.

[Caller/Guest]

And for three years I dated a man who just turned 45 in December. So he was only 20 and a half years older than me.

[Burt]

What kind of 49 year old man would date a 17 year old girl pedophile?

[Caller/Guest]

He was like 41 then or so.

[Burt]

Even so, 41 and 17. That's.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Somebody's looking for a daddy.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm quite. No, no, I'm very mature.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Jen]

Really Janice, do you, I mean you don't. So you don't have any issues with the age difference?

[Caller/Guest]

Not the age difference. This. It was just a little bit weird that my mom was like okay with it and setting me up with them because I date the age difference doesn't bother me. I date older men anyways.

[Burt]

For what reason?

[Caller/Guest]

Just, I mean, they're over the whole playing games. They don't want to have to date everyone every time. It's not every weekend you have a new boyfriend, a new date. I mean, it's just something that's more steady and they're content with just one person.

[Jeff]

Let me tell you something. If you're a 41 year old guy dating a 17 year old, you're all about playing games.

[Caller/Guest]

But I'm not 17 anymore though.

[Burt]

Go ahead, Jen.

[Jen]

Janice, have you ever dated a guy your own age?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I did. I've been out on a couple dates recently. I've recently lost six and so I've tried to been dating a lot more and I dated a man who was 29 years old and we went out twice and he decided to just ignore me. And I've seen him probably three times since then and never wants to explain what happened. You know, just stop talking to me. And every time I date someone who's young, it's like all of a sudden this is what I want and I'm a nice person, I don't change anybody. And it just doesn't ever work out.

[Burt]

And you said you've lost 68 pounds.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Well, do you think he expects to sleep with you this weekend?

[Burt]

Yes.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't think so.

[Jeff]

Yes, he does.

[Burt]

I'm trying not to be judgmental of all these, of all of this, but I got to tell you from a guy's perspective that if he's picking you up, taking you down there, flying you down there, you guys are spending the whole weekend in his hotel room. This man is expecting something physical over the weekend.

[Caller/Guest]

Now, I did come prepared for that, but I talked to my mom last night when I dropped my daughter off at her house, and she said, now just want to let you know because she talked to her boyfriend, she said he may not try anything because he's a really nice guy and he's a gentleman. Don't you just throw yourself on him? But I mean, I'm prepared if that happens. But I do a little shopping.

[Burt]

Let me just ask one more piece of the puzzle real quick. How long have you been talking to him on the phone?

[Caller/Guest]

Just over a week, I think. I talked to him for the first time last Sunday and he asked me to go to Miami with him on Monday.

[Burt]

Two weeks, so, yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Two weeks. Yeah.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Now, Janice, you said your father's totally against this. I want to know the conversation you had with him.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, he's remarried. And I actually told his wife, first, break it to him. And he told. He got on the phone, he said, now, Janice, with his real stern voice. And I was like, yes, Daddy. He said, I don't think you should go. I'm totally against this. I don't think this is the right thing. And you know what he's after, and we don't need to talk about this, but it's just, you need to be very careful, and I don't think this is what you need to do. But, daddy, he's a nice guy. He said, I don't care how nice he is. You don't need to go.

[Burt]

You don't know that he's nice. I mean, you've only talked to him for two weeks.

[Jeff]

Just three. Just three quick questions. One, do you know. Do you know what he looks like?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Did he pay for your plane ticket down to Jacksonville?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Jeff]

And I forgot my third.

[Burt]

I'm a little nervous about this. He seems nice in two weeks kind of thing. You don't know. I mean, you have no idea.

[Caller/Guest]

I have no idea. But on the phone he seems nice, from what I've heard. And my mom says he's nine.

[Burt]

Yeah, that guy that would flee to England a couple of weeks ago after doing that to his family, everybody said, seemed like a really nice guy also, and they knew him for years.

[Caller/Guest]

I didn't hear about that.

[Jeff]

I remember my third. Third question. Are you at age 24? And you said, you've got it. You said you took your baby over to your mom's house. Are you starting to feel like you're getting a little too old not to have a father figure for your child?

[Caller/Guest]

Not right now. I definitely think it's an important thing for a child to have a father. She does ask the question of why do I not have a daddy? But you know, I have answers to those. And she knows that right now she has just a mommy. And I don't really know if I want any man to be her dad right now because she's six years old. And for me to just have some man automatically be her daddy and tell her what to do and try to discipline her, I don't think I could handle that right now.

[Burt]

That question goes such to the stereotype of what guys think when they meet single moms. That the stereotype is it's a way easier target because these women are looking for a dad.

[Jeff]

Oh, no, I wasn't even thinking that. My thought was that just the fact that she is moving so fast and we just talked about Jen Fallon, like, how long ago? About how she's starting to feel panic as people in her lives are, like, in a relationship and stuff. So it's making me wonder if she's. If. If Janice here is just panicking that she's 24 years old. She'll never find anyone.

[Jen]

I. I forgot what my question was gonna be for Janice.

[Burt]

Let me take one more.

[Jeff]

There's just so many questions. We're all losing track.

[Jen]

Janice, I have a question for you about your daughter. You said daughter. What was her father one of those relationships with an older man?

[Caller/Guest]

He was 29 when I was 17.

[Jen]

He was 29 when you were 17. And do you mind if I ask what happened to that relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I dated him for four months. I met his parents, great people, and I told him I was pregnant. And he changed his cell phone number, disconnected his pager, and moved. And after we proved paternity, then his family would not speak to me. And I've spoken to him since, and he is 100% disabled, so he is not made to pay child support because of his disability, so he's never seen her. And I haven't talked to him since.

[Jeff]

After talking to Janice. Bird, are you 100% certain that you and Stacy don't want to try for a daughter?

[Burt]

I have never been more certain than I am right now. Hey, Janice, I just. I mean, we're going to talk to you again on Monday morning between 6:30 and 7. Just make a, sure you're okay, and B, C, how it went. But you've got a daughter to protect here also. And I think when you put yourself in a situation like this where you're really vulnerable, you're not only putting yourself in this situation, but you're putting your daughter in that situation too, you know?

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, well, I've got people calling throughout the weekend on different rotations, so it'll be awesome. Everyone's checking in. Okay. All right.

[Melissa]

Good luck, Janice.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you.

[Burt]

I will talk to you Monday. So that was the call that we took on Friday. Now this is the call that we took earlier this morning detailing exactly what happened over the weekend.

[Jeff]

Hey, Janice.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Jeff]

How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning. I'm doing good.

[Jeff]

Are you back in Atlanta?

[Caller/Guest]

I am.

[Jeff]

How was your weekend in Florida?

[Caller/Guest]

Wow. It was definitely a learning experience.

[Jen]

Okay, wait a second. So you flew to Jacksonville, right?

[Burt]

And then.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I almost missed my flight, actually.

[Jen]

But yes, because you were chatting it up with us too long.

[Caller/Guest]

I just. I couldn't drive fast enough and I was running late and.

[Jeff]

Yeah, so you flew Friday morning, when you were on the phone with us, you were getting on a commercial flight down to Jacksonville where you were gonna meet his private plane.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

All right, take it from there.

[Caller/Guest]

And as soon as I saw him, and he was actually cuter than his picture and I looked really nice and I was quite impressed. I was like, oh, the bird said is gonna kill me on Monday because I'm gonna have so much fun. But as soon as we got to, we actually flew into Fort Lauderdale, went into our hotel and we were gonna sit our stuff down and go to dinner and excuse me, I just woke up. But as soon as we got there, he started trying and I was like, damn, we just got here and he's already starting this. So I mean, I spent the whole entire weekend just trying to get him off of things.

[Jen]

So he didn't even like, try to make any, you know, like small moves, like, was he trying to kiss you?

[Caller/Guest]

What the small move was? We were unpacking our bags and putting our clothes away and he pulls out a box of condoms and says, see, look, I came prepared and oh boy, had quite a big preparedness reaction. He bought a 12 pack and needless to say, he didn't need to even bring any because.

[Jen]

What did you say?

[Caller/Guest]

I was like, oh my gosh. And I mean, I was really stunned. I was like, are you kidding? He's like, no, I mean, I think it's very important and safe sex. I was like, that's not sex at all, honey. And so, I mean, after I told him that about 20 times and we actually had an okay time.

[Jeff]

But didn't we tell you that going into it, like if a guy is gonna fly you on a private plane and stay in a hotel with you.

[Melissa]

Like, how old is he again?

[Caller/Guest]

48.

[Melissa]

Okay, a 48 year old man is not gonna, well, beat around the bush. He's going to want to. I mean, I, I'm not surprised. I mean, it goes with what Jeff said, but on top of that, the fact that he's 48, like he's, he's old enough. Like, you know what? This is what I want. This is what we're gonna do. Let's go.

[Jeff]

And plus, you're setting yourself up as a 24 year old woman. You're like, sure, I'll get on a plane with a stranger and fly down and stay in the same hotel room. Like you know what he's thinking? Yeah, she's into it.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, we, we didn't.

[Jen]

Sure thing.

[Caller/Guest]

We had an okay weekend. I was Definitely glad to be home yesterday, and I was counting down the minutes on Saturday night and. But it was an okay time. I had a good experience. But while I was down there, I mean, a lot of stuff and I'm sorry. Will I go out with him again?

[Melissa]

Will you go out with him again?

[Caller/Guest]

No, not a chance.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jen]

Janice, did you ever, at any point, feel unsafe throughout the weekend?

[Caller/Guest]

No, not unsafe at all, really, at any time. I could have called any of my friends actually live there in Hollywood, Florida, which is not too far away, or Jacksonville, or my mom. I mean, I could have called anyone and just hopped on a plane or in a car and gone, so. So you feel unsafe now?

[Jeff]

Did you report this back to your mom, who's the one who set you up on the date?

[Jen]

Stepmom.

[Caller/Guest]

I was actually. I was gonna wait until I got home to talk to her about it, but I had actually had a little too much to drink on Saturday, and I ended up calling her Saturday night, and I was just telling her everything. I'm like, this man won't quit hitting on me. This is disgusting. But, you know, she apologized. I'm so sorry, sir. I thought he was such a nice guy. And so I guess you never really know anyone until you're actually in a personal setting with him. So she felt really upset, you know, really bad about it. But, I mean, it's not her fault, and I needed to go through it. At least it was with someone that was not going to take advantage totally of the situation and, you know, let it come out.

[Jeff]

All right, so where did you guys that still. Still stayed in the same hotel room?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. The whole entire time. And it wasn't until I was leaving that I realized that the sofa pulls out into a bed. So I could have been in the sofa the whole time, and it would have, you know, released some of that tension, but.

[Melissa]

So you were. You slept in the same bed with him the whole weekend?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, but I work close.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

And he started off wearing clothes.

[Melissa]

Did he start? He started.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, he did. He just kept trying and trying and trying. And I was like, no, it was crazy.

[Jen]

So you weren't that crazy? It was kind of what we expected. It was just sort of crazy to you?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, yeah, y' all expected it, but.

[Melissa]

You were just naive to it.

[Jen]

Why was that sort of hard to believe?

[Caller/Guest]

Because, I mean, I've dated people around his age before, and it's never been that way. I mean, I just. I mean, I guess all 48 year.

[Jeff]

Olds are different, but as we tried to explain to you before, when you were on with this Friday, like about the 20 year old guy who's the father of your baby. Like not all 20 year olds are exactly the same, just like not all 40 something year olds are exactly the same. Like you can't. Just because there's somebody's a certain age doesn't mean they've had the same, you know, number of laps around Daytona Motor Speedway.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Jen]

But they all are, they, they all are the same in that they're men.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And that, you know, a lot of times we say, I mean, it's early so we have to be careful about what we talk about, but we say that, you know, men are interested in the same thing, especially if they are going this above and beyond for a blind date first weekend.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's the difference. Also, I would assume in the other 40 somethings you've dated that you haven't agreed to be on their private plane and go to a different city with them on the first date.

[Caller/Guest]

Right. That definitely was the first for me, but I'm not against it. I mean, so if anyone else would like to take me on a first date and fly me somewhere. Or not. Maybe not first date.

[Melissa]

Hey, guess what, Janice, they're gonna expect the same thing this 48 year old.

[Caller/Guest]

Expected or not, the first day, a third date or something.

[Jeff]

All right.

[Jen]

Do you think that you would do anything differently in the future after this experience?

[Caller/Guest]

I would have made sure I had my own room and my own rental car and that's about it. I mean, we could have had a good time if we were just separated a little bit more. But I did have a lot of people find me on MySpace and start emailing me. And they weren't as negative as they were on the show, but they were definitely still concerned. So I had a lot of emails to write back to you last night.

[Jeff]

What do you mean find you on MySpace? Just based on the stuff you said on the air, people tracked you on MySpace.

[Caller/Guest]

I've never known that you could find someone that easily, but yeah, we said.

[Jen]

She was from McDonough.

[Jeff]

Oh, okay. All right, Janice.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, thank you.

[Jen]

I'm glad you're home safely.

[Melissa]

Agree.

[Caller/Guest]

All right.

[Jeff]

And if you have any more dramatic dating stories, I mean, we'll certainly listen to them and give you unsolicited advice.

[Caller/Guest]

That you don't have to take anything that exciting anymore.

[Jeff]

All right, well, you'd be surprised once those MySpace guys start calling, there's a story behind every one of them.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, y' all have a good week.

[Jeff]

Have A great Monday. Take care, James.

[Caller/Guest]

The Burt Show.

[Jeff]

It's like eavesdropping on a really juicy conversation.

[Caller/Guest]

Listen in on all the hits.

[Jeff]

Q100.

[Burt]

Now that's the first time I heard that. Also because I had to do some stuff with Burt's big adventure earlier this morning. And I contend that she did end up sleeping with that guy this weekend. But she didn't tell him. She wouldn't come clean about it.

[Jeff]

Cause she was drunk on Saturday night when she called her mom.

[Burt]

She says that she spent the weekend in his hotel room. In the bed with him.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Burt]

All weekend long.

[Jen]

Fended him off all weekend.

[Burt]

Fended him off all weekend long. She also said on Friday that she did prepare for that. I mean, that's a pretty broad term. I think she ended up hooking up with the dude.

[Jeff]

See, I could see her not only because he blew it and that guy's an idiot because if he had paced himself a little more, he could have gotten it, but because he, you know, first thing he unpacks out of his, you know, carry on is the box. Slow down, chief.

[Burt]

If he just is cool about it in the beginning, he probably has a fantastic time over the weekend or even.

[Jeff]

Plays hard to get. And you know, she's on him like white on price.

[Melissa]

No, you didn't.

[Jeff]

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[Burt]

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[Jeff]

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