The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Monday, October 27 [Vault]

Original Air Date: October 27, 2025
Main Hosts: Bert, Bird, Tommy, Hannah, Uncle Cracker (guest), Alicia (guest)

Episode Overview

The Bert Show kicks off another energetic morning, true to their brand of mixing humor, authenticity, and real-life drama. This episode is packed with candid celebrity interviews, outrageous experiments, relationship dilemmas, and heartfelt bits as the crew shares wild stories and raw exchanges. Major segments include the hilarious MC Hammer interview, an audacious valet car theft social experiment, the ever-popular “Second Date Update” with a single mom twist, the blunt “Deadbeat Dad Patrol,” and an appearance from musician Uncle Cracker.

Key Segments & Highlights

1. Interview with MC Hammer

[01:46–06:47]

• Bird and Tommy reminisce about their nostalgia interviewing the legendary MC Hammer.
• Hammer reflects on his career, financial decisions, and ongoing legacy.
  • Quote:

    "There’s so many highs and only one low…life is made up of many moments put together that equals life."
    — MC Hammer, [02:20]

• MC Hammer recounts paying a massive payroll to help his community.
  • Quote:

    "I had a payroll of $800,000 a month to over 200 employees... I always said if I make it I would help others out."
    — MC Hammer, [03:07]

• MC Hammer asserts his lasting influence, especially in fashion and performance, humbly mentioning how stars like Puffy have drawn inspiration.
• Memorable moment: MC Hammer jokes about staying fit:
  • Quote:

    "...I’m walking around with a 31 inch waist and 4% body fat."
    — MC Hammer, [05:47]

2. Valet Car Theft Social Experiment

Safe to Hand Over Your Keys?
[06:51–14:37]

• Bird and Tommy recount a weekend experience where Bird was handed his car by a valet without showing the ticket.
• The team decides to test if one could steal a car from a valet by simply describing it.
• Tommy goes undercover at a hotel, pretending to have lost his valet ticket:
  • Staff initially resists, but after some persistence, Tommy is almost handed a random Toyota Corolla.
  • Ultimate realization: Security protocol is worryingly lax.
• Funny & frantic banter as Tommy considers actually driving off with the car, while others warn about grand theft risks.
  • Quote:

    "If he drives it off the premises, he can be charged with grand theft auto."
    — Alicia (caller), [14:18]

• Memorable moment: A listener with a cop in the family calls in to warn against taking things too far.

3. Second Date Update: Single Mom Edition

Why Didn’t Alicia Call Back?
[17:15–24:28]

• Recap: Richard (Rick) spends over $400 on a date with Alicia, but she won’t call back.
• Alicia joins live for an honest answer:
  • She reveals she has a three-year-old son and is “auditioning” for a potential father, not just a boyfriend.
  • Richard admits he wouldn’t have shelled out the cash if he’d known, calling her son “baggage.”
    • Quote:

      "...not to be rude, but you know, baggage."
      — Tommy (as Richard), [21:05]

  • Hosts push back hard, defending single parents and emphasizing dating transparency.
    • Quote:

      "Her child. It’s not baggage."
      — Bird, [21:10]

  • Alicia shares she usually waits till the third or fourth date before disclosing she’s a mom, saying men often act differently once they know.
  • The segment ends with debate: Is it fair to wait to reveal kids? Is Alicia “roping in” dates or just protecting her son and herself?

4. Celebrity Chat: Uncle Cracker

[24:29–31:47]

• Bird welcomes Uncle Cracker, formerly known for his work with Kid Rock, but now a solo star.
• Uncle Cracker talks about starting out in Detroit, rising from DJ battles to recording with Kid Rock on tour buses.
  • Quote:

    "We became good friends. I don’t know how it happened, really."
    — Uncle Cracker, [26:19]

• Discusses his transition to fame:
  • Confesses he hasn’t seen a cent from album sales yet, calling music royalties “about a year behind.”
  • Light jokes about buying classic cars and the perks of fame.
• Banter turns playful around religion and slang, with Bird joking about “Jewish starter kits.”
  • Quote:

    "As long as the little Jewish guy keeps playing track number seven, I’m digging the Jews."
    — Uncle Cracker, [30:27]

• Talks about his single "Follow Me," which Bird claims is about infidelity, prompting more self-deprecating humor.
• Cracker says he’s staying out of movies, focusing on music for now.

5. Deadbeat Dad Patrol

[31:52–34:30]

• Courtney, a listener, has a 7-year-old child; her ex-husband hasn’t paid child support (behind by $9,000) nor seen the child in four years.
• Tommy, on assignment: Waits outside the deadbeat dad’s hotel for hours, confronts him with a photo of his daughter.
  • Quote:

    "You owe $9,000 on your child support…are you gonna pay it or not?"
    — Tommy, [33:14]

• Confrontation gets heated; man curses and threatens Tommy before speeding off.
  • Quote:

    "Get out of my face right now. I’mma throw you across this parking lot."
    — Deadbeat Dad, [34:07]

• Reinforces the show's commitment to helping families and holding parents accountable.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

| Time | Speaker | Memorable Quote/Highlight | |--------------|---------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 02:20 | MC Hammer | “Life is made up of many moments … that equals life.” | | 03:07 | MC Hammer | “$800,000 a month … to help my community.” | | 05:47 | MC Hammer | “…31 inch waist and 4% body fat.” | | 14:18 | Alicia (caller)| “If he drives it off … he can be charged with grand theft auto.” | | 21:05 | Tommy (Rich) | “Not to be rude, but you know, baggage.” | | 21:10 | Bird | “Her child. It’s not baggage.” | | 26:19 | Uncle Cracker | “We became good friends. I don’t know how it happened, really.” | | 30:27 | Uncle Cracker | “I’m digging the Jews.” | | 33:14 | Tommy | “You owe $9,000 on your child support…” | | 34:07 | Deadbeat Dad | “Get out of my face right now. I’mma throw you across this parking lot.” |

Episode Flow & Takeaway

• The Bert Show delivers a full spectrum of content: lighthearted pop culture, candid celebrity interviews, real-world investigative pranks, and raw relationship talk.
• Humor and authenticity are constant, even when tackling serious issues like single parenting and deadbeat parents.
• Celebrity guests like MC Hammer and Uncle Cracker are treated with both reverence and playful irreverence.
• The team’s pranks (valet experiment) illustrate their willingness to challenge assumptions and social norms.
• Audience participation (call-ins, listener segments) amplifies the connection and keeps the energy unpredictable.

Useful Timestamps

| Segment | Time | |------------------------------------------|-------| | MC Hammer Interview | 01:46–06:47 | | Valet Car Social Experiment | 06:51–14:37 | | Second Date Update | 17:15–24:28 | | Uncle Cracker Interview | 24:29–31:47 | | Deadbeat Dad Patrol | 31:52–34:30 |

Summary prepared by an expert podcast summarizer for maximum clarity and engagement.