Full Show PT 1: Thursday, December 11 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 1: Thursday, December 11 [Vault]

Original Air Date: December 11, 2025
Podcast Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and more)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show opens with a listener proposal stunt — except things don't go as romantically as listeners and some of the cast hoped. Instead, it takes a turn into prank territory, sparking controversy and a genuine, sometimes tense debate among the show's cast about trust, emotional stakes, and listener relationships. The episode also features a fun, lighthearted interview with Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken, giving insight into their lives and careers post-American Idol.

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Key Segments and Insights

1. The "Hopeless Romantic" Marriage Proposal Stunt

(01:33 – 25:40)

• Reading the Email (01:33 – 04:16):

  • Bert reads a heartfelt email, supposedly from a male listener named Jeff, expressing deep love and a plan to propose to his girlfriend at Maggiano's in Buckhead at 9:15 AM on Friday. Details suggest the woman sings and that Maggiano's is meaningful to their relationship.
  • The show encourages any woman who recognizes these clues to show up at that time and place, creating anticipation for a live on-air proposal.

• Live Updates from Maggiano’s (05:06 – 11:07):

  • Field reporter Phil Turana reports from Maggiano's parking lot, where multiple women have shown up, and tension builds as to whether a real proposal will take place.
  • Several women are wandering the parking lot, some sitting in cars, many clearly hoping they are the 'one.'

• The Twist – It Was a Prank (11:13 – 18:04):

  • At 11:13, Jeff Dollar, a Bert Show cast member, reveals on air that he fabricated the entire email as a prank to illustrate how “women are desperate for proposals around Valentine’s Day.”
    • Jeff Dollar (11:15):

      "There's no engagement. I just wanted to see how many desperate women show up on the day before Valentine's Day thinking they're gonna get engaged."

  • The prank results in at least one heartbroken caller, Anna, who says she took off work and brought her sister with a video camera, believing she would be proposed to.
    • Anna (14:56):

      "I totally take a day off from work to go down there... my sister takes a video cam... she had to get a sitter... to film this to send to my parents in Florida."

  • Bert and other cast members react with disappointment and anger toward Jeff, citing breach of listener trust and needlessly hurting their audience.
    • Bert (20:21):

      "It's just not the kind of show I want to do where you set up women that are all excited about being proposed to and you squash their dreams."

• On-Air Fallout and Ethics Debate (18:04 – 25:40):

  • The studio discussion becomes heated: Bert and others argue that even hurting a single listener for a prank is unacceptable, while Jeff insists it "proves a point" about engagement expectations.
    • Jeff Dollar (23:04):

      "I did it to prove that there are women out there who will force themselves into the wrong... trying to cram the triangle into the circle hole."

  • Callers split between supporting Jeff's “point” and condemning his methods, with one caller accusing him of being callous and out of touch with the show's relationship with its audience.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Bert (12:03):

  "Here's a woman that shows up that is, like, really thinking that her boyfriend is doing something romantic for her, and she shows up and is completely devastated and disappointed. Now, that's a dick move."

• Anna, listener/caller (15:11):

  "I can't go to work now. I am too upset... Are you making fun of people wanting to get married?"

• Bert (20:21):

  "We strive to have a relationship with our listeners where they trust us. That's why we don't do wacky things on April Fool's Day..."

Segment Timestamps

• Email Reading & Build-Up: 01:33 – 04:16
• Live From Maggiano's: 05:06 – 11:07
• Prank Revealed: 11:13 – 12:55
• Caller Anna's Story: 13:12 – 16:57
• Ethics Debate/Callers: 16:57 – 25:40

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2. Interview: Kelly Clarkson & Clay Aiken

(27:47 – 35:49)

• Casual Conversation & “Interview Yourself” Bit:
  • Bert, feeling he's run out of unique questions, asks Kelly and Clay to interview each other. Laughter ensues as they tackle familiar 'press tour' questions, poking fun at standard American Idol interview tropes.
  • The two idols discuss the whirlwind of fame, constant media attention, and how they cope with public scrutiny.
    • Clay Aiken (32:09):

      "I always thought it was gonna be glamorous. And I sit on my couch at home and eat in my pajamas all the time and watch TV."

    • Kelly Clarkson (31:54):

      "We're both kind of introvertish... we just stay in... so we don't really deal with a lot that most celebrities do."

  • Both reflect on adjusting to life in the spotlight and maintaining their authenticity.
    • Clay (32:51):

      "Sometimes it makes me go, goodness gracious. A little anonymity would be nice... I would like to go out to the grocery store and not have anybody staring."

    • Kelly (33:32):

      "I put a hat on and I put my glasses on, and nobody recognizes me, really. Yeah, I'm quite the chameleon."

  • Anecdote: Kelly repeatedly fails at recording short promo lines for the Bert Show, showing her good humor and approachability.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Kelly Clarkson (35:22–35:35):

  "Hey, what's up? It's Kelly Clarkson on the Bert show on all the Hits Q100... Wow, you have a lot of bloopers. It's okay."

Segment Timestamps

• Interview Begins: 27:47
• Fame & Coping: 31:15 – 33:40
• Kelly’s Promo Bloopers: 35:01 – 35:49

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Memorable Moments

• The Reveal of the Proposal Prank (11:13):
  Jeff confesses to the manufactured email and prank, shifting the show’s mood and shocking both the cast and listeners.
• The Emotional Call from Anna (13:12):
  Heartfelt and raw as Anna describes the personal cost of the stunt.
• In-Studio Confrontation (20:21 – 25:29):
  Tension peaks between Bert, Jeff, and callers over the morality and impact of the prank.
• Kelly Clarkson Laughs Off Promo Bloopers (35:45):
  Adds levity and celebrity relatability to the episode’s more fraught segments.

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Overall Tone

• Candid, Emotional, and Occasionally Contentious:
  The prank divides the team and engages listeners emotionally, generating laughter, frustration, and debate.
• Authentic and Engaging:
  The show’s willingness to air disagreements and confront mistakes directly with listeners exemplifies their “real and funny” brand — albeit with real consequences for crossing the line.
• Light-Hearted Celebrity Banter:
  The Kelly and Clay interview brings levity, fun, and star power, balancing the episode’s emotional weight.

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For Listeners New to the Episode

This Bert Show episode is a rollercoaster, illustrating the strengths and risks of live, unscripted morning radio. The infamous “proposal prank” sets off a lively, ethically-charged debate about what morning shows owe their listeners, especially around sensitive occasions like Valentine’s Day. The tension is artfully relieved by a charming interview with Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken, showing the hosts' range and ability to connect on light-hearted and deep topics alike.

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Detailed Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener Marriage Proposal Email: 01:33 – 04:16
• Live From Maggiano's (On-Scene Reports): 05:06 – 11:07
• Jeff Reveals the Prank: 11:13 – 12:55
• Anna's Emotional Call: 13:12 – 16:57
• Cast/Critical Ethics Debate & Callers: 16:57 – 25:40
• Interview: Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken: 27:47 – 35:53
• Kelly’s Laugh-Out-Loud Promo Attempts: 35:01 – 35:49

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This summary omits all advertisement, sponsor, and promotional interludes.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Purch the Birch show here's the email that we were talking about yesterday and here's a virtual listener that really needs some help. And for the couple of us in here that are hopeless romantics, want to read it again and try to make this happen for this guy.

[C]

I'm listening.

[B]

That's you. It says, Dear Burt Show, I know you have no idea who I am, but I'm hoping you might help me propose marriage to the woman that makes every second I spend with her the most precious moment of my life. I had no idea I could have feelings like this for any woman. Before I met her. I distrusted women and my heart was completely closed. But the moment she walked into my life, a wash of emotions came over me as I began to believe in love at first sight. I was like a shy teenager, too anxious to talk to the head cheerleader. My heart raced and my throat tightened up when I overcame my anxiety to talk to the most engaging woman I ever laid eyes on. When we started to talk, it was like a movie. The world had nobody in it but she and I. And since that day, the moments of my life are nothing but a countdown until the next time I see her again. A beautiful and personal conversation we had last week confirmed to me that I can't live another day without this woman. When she sings to me, it's Though every note is sung from the lips of an angel, the earth stops spinning upon every word of conversation. She speaks when we take walks. With your help, I'm hoping to make this wondrous woman my wife. I'm just foolish enough to believe that I can make a woman this happy forever. But I will spend every waking moment and every fiber of my being with the sole purpose of bringing joy to her life. She listens to Q100 every morning, and my hope is that you will aid me in making sure that she is in the parking lot of the buckhead Maggiano's at 9:15 in the morning this Friday. Now, we talked a little bit about it yesterday, so hopefully she either heard this yesterday or today. While this may seem odd to you, Maggiano's holds a very special place in our heart. So maybe it was her first date or whatever.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

One morning I jokingly told her that when I proposed, it would be in a way that the entire world would realize how much a man could love a woman. My wish is that you read my story and she is listening and shows up at Maggiano's so I can present the ring and make my proposal official. Please consider my request. If you tell my story, I'm positive that she'll realize the words I wrote could only come from me. She teases me all the time about how hopelessly romantic I am. I wish all cynics of love. Jeff. I wish all cynics of love could have their heart filled the way she fills mine. Please help me in a way that makes the entire world realize how much I love this woman.

So if you think he's talking to you. 9:15 at the Buckhead Maggiano's, and we got a couple of clues in there of who you might be, he says when she sings to me. So maybe you're in a Band or you just sing around the house a lot.

The earth stops spinning upon every word of conversation when we take walks. Can't be a lot of guys that take walks a lot with their wives or girlfriends. Or their girlfriends.

Totally.

[C]

But obviously Maggiano's.

[B]

Maggiano. That's a big old clue right there also. So if you think he's talking to you, he wants you to be over at the buckhead Maggiano's at 9:15. And I can tell you right now, this wasn't written by Phil Tirana, because he will be down there.

[C]

I just want to bring Phil Turan up. He's at the Maggiano's in Buckhead. And this engagement is probably five minutes away if the guy's timing is correct. Okay, so he's going to interrupt us should it happen.

[B]

Phil Turana, you out there?

[E]

Yeah. What's going on, guys?

[B]

Okay, so Phil, whenever. When it starts going down.

[E]

Right. Well, let me. Let me tell you what's going on right now. Go ahead and kind of give you a scenario. There is a lot of activity going on around here right now because of the buildings, because obviously Maggiano is having a huge weekend. So there's a lot of cars already here. Now, there are some people. I have seen a couple of cars with people milling around like the hood of their car and a couple of people talking. And you can kind of hear Q100 in the background. So, you know, they're listening. And, you know, up in the front of Magellano, they have that little turnaround where you can drop somebody off and keep going. Well, I have seen four or five cars go through there real slow, and they're not dropping anybody off and they're not parking. They just kind of did the little circle and drove around the parking lot real slow. And it was. All of them had women in there, and they kind of drive through the parking lot, then drive out. Now, I don't know if they're looking for somebody or what, but that is. I've seen at least two or three of those cars do it. And there are a handful of people out here just kind of milling around.

[B]

Now, are there any guys, like, out there? I mean, just by themselves in a car or something like that?

[E]

Not that I can see, because the parking lot is pretty full. Not that I can see right now. Again, there is a good bit of commotion. There's like, you know, the food trucks unloading food and all that. But hold on, let me do a.

[B]

Quick scan, because you'll for sure be able to See, I mean, when it's about to happen, I mean, he'll get out of the car. I'm sure she's gonna get out of another car or whatever, and he'll either get down on a knee or they'll start hugging or.

[F]

So Machiano's is closed. The delivery guys are coming to deliver food. But you say the parking lot is full, right?

[E]

Because there's some office buildings around here as well. And so the parking lot is full, and then again, there are a bunch of people moving around. Now, I don't know if these are, you know, servers waiting to go inside to get ready for lunch or if, you know, because they don't look like servers, but there are. I mean, I can tell you point blank, I do. I can see two girls right here who are just kind of standing by the car, chit chatting, and I can hear, you know, Hitsky 100 in the background. So, you know, they're listening to the station.

[F]

So I'm curious. So, like, Bert had asked you earlier about the guy that wrote. I mean, the email obviously is there. I mean, do you think he's keeping undercover in case she doesn't show up or didn't hear? Because, I mean, I'm surprised that we don't know where he is.

[B]

Yeah, like, I would think he'd be out there in a tux with a flower or something.

[E]

Well, there is a really nice suv, kind of a pimped out suv, parked in that. In that wraparound up front, and it's got tinted windows. I can't see inside of it, but it's been there. I mean, it's been there since I've been here.

[C]

How many people are there watching you?

[E]

I just want to say hey to everyone in Maggiano's who's looking at me through the window.

[B]

Is there anybody in their cars just kind of sitting and watching? And any single women there that are.

[E]

You know, from what I can see, there was a couple a couple minutes ago, and, I mean, there was two girls that walked inside, and there was another lady sitting in her car putting on makeup, but I think she must have walked in as well. But from where? I mean, again, this parking lot, you know, the back parking lot of Maggiano's, it's full of. I mean, there's hardly any parking spaces left, but from what I can see right now, there could be maybe one back over there that I can't see very well.

[G]

But.

[E]

Yeah. I mean, not 100%, no.

[B]

Because the reason I ask is that you said that you Had a couple of people call you up and say that they thought that they were the girl and that's why that they were going to show up, but they wouldn't go on the radio with us, right?

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

And they said they would show up. And maybe they're just sitting in the car, but I can't see them because other cars are blocking the view. But again, we've had those, you know, I mean, it's probably been at least. I would have to say at least six cars now that have done the very slow path. Okay, so.

[B]

All right, at this point, should I just keep him up and do kind of like we did before that? If this happens, you just give us a wish or something, give us some kind of signal, and I'll get out of commercials or a song or whatever we're doing, and we'll throw it back.

[E]

Goose has landed.

[B]

If that's what you want.

[E]

All right, it is in position. We are ready to go, Eagle.

[B]

All right, so from this point on, Phil, you're gonna be potted up, so you're live. So don't curse or get a phone number or anything like that. And when you tell us, get a.

[C]

Phone number from a woman who's about to get eng. Engaged.

[B]

Nice. I know. She's single, right?

[C]

It's true.

[B]

So before he does, when it all starts happening, just give us the signal, and I'll get out of what we're doing. Okay?

[E]

Okay.

[B]

All right, man.

[E]

Help me sing my song.

[B]

Tell her I'm your man.

[E]

You're my girl.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

What was he saying?

[E]

The goose has landed.

[B]

Copy, stop, you Red leader.

All right, so he's there.

[E]

No, Jeff just wanted me to stop the song in the middle of the.

[B]

Song because he's there and. Is he proposing?

[E]

No, Jeff just told me to stop the song.

[B]

What the hell?

[F]

What?

[C]

Well, I just wanted.

[G]

I thought.

[C]

First of all, I think it's cool. When we interrupt songs and a half left in the song, I've got a very important announcement to make.

[F]

You have a heart, Grinch, that your heart grew three sizes bigger? Is that what you're about to ask?

[C]

I would like to make an important announcement, and is there any better way to get people's attention than interrupt a song in the middle of a song? Okay, the birch show.

[E]

The goose has landed.

[B]

Copy. Copy, Red leader.

All right, so he's there.

[E]

No, Jeff just wanted me to stop the song in the middle of the.

[B]

Song because he's there and. Is he proposing?

[E]

No, Jeff just told me to stop the song.

[B]

What the hell What?

[C]

Well, I just wanted.

[G]

I thought it.

[C]

First of all, I think it's cool when we interrupt songs.

[B]

Not enough and a half left in the song.

[C]

I've got a very important announcement to make.

[D]

Oh, God.

[B]

Except there's a minute you have a.

[F]

Heart Grinch that your heart grew three sizes bigger. Is that what you're about to announce?

[C]

I would like to make an important announcement. And is there any better way to get people's attention than interrupt a song in the middle of a song? Okay, so how many people are down.

[E]

There, Phil, again, standing around? There's a couple people still milling about in that walk around, and I think they're, like me, waiting to see what happens. There is. I did see one lady drive up in a car during the commercials. She's parked to the side, and there's still that.

[C]

Hey, Phil.

[E]

Yes?

[G]

I just.

[C]

I actually want to know how many people leave once I announce that I wrote that email.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[D]

No, you did not.

[C]

Yes, I did.

[D]

No, you did not. You cannot come up with words like that.

[F]

Hey, Jessica, did you write this email? Because, I mean, every time you sing, it is like, angel, that can't come have come from Jeff dollar.

[C]

There's no engagement. I just wanted to see how many desperate women show up on the day before Valentine's Day thinking they're gonna get engaged.

[H]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Helmet.

[B]

Yeah. That, to me, is just evil.

That's so mean. How could you laugh at that? That's amazing.

[F]

I'm just like. Because I'm stunned. I mean, I. We should have known.

[E]

I'll tell you this now there is one less car in the parking lot that is pulling out and pulling off.

[B]

Now, Jeff, you do these things, and you never even think about anybody else.

[C]

Who am I thinking about, imaginary girl?

[B]

No. So here's a woman that shows up that is, like, really thinking that her boyfriend is doing something romantic for her, and she shows up and is completely devastated and disappointed. Now, that's a dick move.

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

It totally is.

[C]

It is proving that women look at Valentine's Day as the day that all the special crap is gonna happen, and they will do anything to force themselves into a situation where they will get engaged.

[F]

Now, do you think that a lot of the women that showed up there were honestly thought they were going to get engaged to. Or do you think they were just, like, being rubberneckers where they wanted to see, you know, see it take place.

[B]

Even if one woman shows up?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's heartbreaking.

[D]

I am just honestly most surprised that Jeff Was able to come up with something so romantic and sweet.

[B]

Hold on, Phil.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

Are you sure Tracy stops moving when. Yeah, those were. Yeah, Jeff did finish.

[D]

Are you sure producer Tracy didn't write that?

[C]

Come on.

[B]

And how did you, like. Jeff didn't say, let's read this on the air tomorrow. He sent it and I bit hook, line and sinker.

[D]

Oh, you're kidding.

[B]

So this. This came to me and I'm like.

[D]

You didn't print it and hand it to you?

[B]

No, no, no, no. This came to me in my email box, and I'm like, this is something I gotta do on the air. Good morning. All the hits. Q100.

[H]

Hello.

[A]

Hello.

[H]

Yeah, how are you guys? Cause I am really ticked off.

[F]

Go ahead.

[D]

What's going on?

[H]

Well, I've been sitting in the Maggiano's parking lot and, you know, waiting for my boyfriend to show up.

[B]

I don't know why you find that funny.

[D]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[C]

And why did you decide to wait for your boyfriend?

[H]

Because, hello, he wrote that email.

[C]

He did?

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

When?

[H]

Well, obviously recently, if you read it on the air.

[B]

Well, you thought that he wrote.

[C]

So let me ask you some questions, Anna. What's so special about Maggiano's and you?

[E]

What do you mean?

[H]

I mean, I haven't even eaten there.

[C]

So why would you go? It says in the email that I made up that nobody wrote but me.

[H]

You know what? I am totally confused. How do I know that my boyfriend didn't write that email and you told him not to go? And now that you know. Because you wanted it to sound better on the air and that you're just making a big joke out of this.

[C]

What is my. Do you sing?

[B]

I still don't understand what your point is.

[H]

No, I don't sing. But, you know, the parking lot thing didn't really throw me off because my younger brother proposed to his girlfriend in the church. A parking lot. So I thought, oh, well, he's doing something like my brother did.

[C]

So you know what? This girl. What's her name again? Ann. Anna. Anna.

[B]

Anna.

[C]

Amy, Whatever.

She is proving my point. Think about it. You've got a woman who is so desperate to be engaged that she. Do you sing?

[H]

No, I don't.

[C]

Then why did you go to Maggiano's when the email said that you sang?

[H]

I just want to tell you this. You know, of course that email was about me because I listen to your show all the time, and he knows I do. Okay? So you know what I do? I totally take a Day off from work to go down there.

[D]

That sounds funny.

[H]

Okay. And then my sister takes a video cam and goes with me. All right? She has two small kids, she's a stay at home mom. So she had to get a sitter so that she could go with me and film this to send to my parents in Florida.

[B]

And that's funny to you?

[C]

Why did she go? Why is. Why did you go down there?

[B]

Doesn't matter.

[H]

What do you mean, why did I go down there? Because I thought the email was about me. Because I thought I was getting a ring at Christmas. And when he didn't give me a ring at Christmas, I knew it was Valentine's Day. I knew it was going to be Valentine's Day weekend.

[F]

I don't think. You see, some guys, I don't think understand, like, if it was something that was important to you, like a gift, a gadget or something, I wish I could think of something that was more comparable, but. And you drop a hint to your girlfriend or your wife that this is something that you really want and you really think she's going to get it for you. And then the Christmas comes, or your birthday comes and goes and it's not there and you get really disappointed. I mean, the thing is, you sound like it's women forcing men to propose, but I think that it's just. I mean, this is something that is, again, the most important day to a woman's life. So, I mean, I can understand where if she thought there was a hint of a possibility, it obviously meant enough to her to take off work to arrange for a video, you know, videotape of the event. So, I mean. Yeah, it is.

[H]

Well, I mean, I can't. I can't go to work now.

[B]

I gotta. I just have to apologize.

[H]

I mean, I don't know if any apology would even be sufficient. I mean, I can't go to work now. I am too upset. I don't know. Are you making fun of people wanting to get married? And, I mean, I'm assuming. Am I on the air right now?

[D]

Well, I can.

[H]

Well, I should. I should just tell people right now that they should never listen to the Burt show again. Never. Well, I'm not listening to you all. You know the set button on my car radio? I am setting it somewhere else.

[D]

Well, I just wanted to apologize because I can understand really wanting to be that other piece of the puzzle, making a magical moment come true. Cause I think that that's what she was trying to do. I don't think that she's desperate to get married. I think that she thought, okay, this is a magical moment.

[C]

She's filling in blank.

[D]

Let me finish what I'm gonna say for the first time this week.

[C]

Okay, here we go.

[D]

Let me finish what I'm gonna say. Okay. I think that she thought this was going to be a magical moment. And if she didn't do her part to make the puzzle piece come together, then she would have ruined a magical proposal. Ruined a magical part. I don't think that it means that she's desperate to get married.

[B]

Anna, I. There's nothing I can say.

[H]

I don't know if that's gonna cut it with me because, you know, I thought he wrote that email. And now I'm really confused because you guys are on there going, this is a trouble.

[F]

First of all. No, first of all, I take offense at the fact that you don't want to listen to the Burt show anymore, because we have four people on this show, and one person is the one that lied, not only to you, but the other three on the show. So you can't blame Bert or myself or Jen for this because we were just as involved as you were. And I know Bert. I know that we have to take responsibility for Jeff's actions, but I.

[B]

No, I don't. And I'll tell you why. And I'll tell you why I don't. Jess. Part of Jeff's responsibility. And I'm gonna let you go. Okay, I'm sorry.

[H]

Well, I don't know. I'll have to think about whether I'm ever gonna listen to you all again because I am just hacked off. I just think you're making a mockery of people who wanna get married. And I thought this was a special day for me.

[B]

I understand. All right. Thank you. Part of Jeff's responsibility as the executive producer of the show is to protect us and make sure that listeners trust us. That is his responsibility. And what you've done today is you have totally breached that responsibility.

[C]

This is the same thing.

[B]

No, Jeff. And there's nothing you can say about it.

[C]

This is the same thing.

[B]

Why can't you ever just admit. You know what? I didn't think it through. I screwed up.

[C]

This is the same thing as the gold diggers bit. It's just proving that women are out there who are desperate to get married and will force situations in order to make it happen. And what better day to do it than Valentine's Day?

[B]

So you feel good about what you've done?

[C]

I feel like I've proven a point.

[B]

I all the hits q100.

[E]

Hey, my name's Joe and I got your back on this one bird. I think he did screw up. And Jeff does some wonderful pranks, man. I agree. Totally laughed and thought that he's just the instigator. But even us guys like a romance. You know, I even thought of going there just to see. Just to watch.

[B]

Well, it's such a breach of trust that I don't know that's.

[E]

He just needs to admit that he screwed up.

[C]

I just. I will if I can meet the girl who fits every description in that room.

[H]

She's not out there.

[E]

She's not out there.

[C]

Exactly.

[E]

And the clerk that called up. Oh, my God. Where'd she come from?

[C]

Exactly.

[E]

She didn't have no criteria. But the thing is there's enough people that do love romance and believe in it that they showed up and they were disappointed. You disappointed a lot of people.

[B]

Thank you for calling.

[C]

All right. Bye.

[B]

Bye. Go ahead. Let me take all the I love Jeff calls.

[C]

I didn't put it.

[B]

That have. That are as mean as you are.

[C]

Dump them all then and pick them up randomly.

[B]

People are calling saying, I thought people see the point. Morning. All the hits Q1.

[F]

It's just.

[B]

You know what? It's just not the kind of show I want to do. Maybe that's it. It's not the kind of show I want to do where you set up women that are all excited about being proposed to and you squash their dreams. That's just not what I want to do. I'm pissed. I'm really pissed. And we strive to have a relationship with our listeners where they trust us. That's why we don't do wacky things on April Fool's Day. We come up with wacky kind of stunts where you buy into it and then you're disappointed at the end of the day. Because, Jeff, you've been in on this conversation, also want our listeners to trust us. And you have breached that.

[C]

Are you just mad because I got you too with the email?

[B]

No. I mean, you phone scammed me before.

[H]

You did not understand anything. Bert just nailed it right on the head. You have no empathy. You are so bitter about this whole ordeal that you wanted to cause other women pain. Do you know that that description, if it wasn't for the fact that my best friend was already engaged, did her to a T. Do you know how many couples have had their first date or several important dates at Maggiano's? Do you know how many women sing to their boyfriends? I sing to My fiance. I mean, you just did not think of the damage that you could do. Women's emotions are so high around Valentine's Day and so temperamental that you didn't care. You caused every one of your listeners who trusted you to no longer trust you. You know?

[C]

Well, that's the first rule. Don't trust me.

[B]

Had we known it was coming from you, we wouldn't have.

[H]

You should not be on a radio station if your listeners cannot trust you. That's what your listeners are here for.

[B]

Yeah. Had you read the email, then we might be a little bit more skeptical, but because, you know, you sent it to me and I bought hook, line and sinker, man, I'll. I'll give you that.

[C]

I think that's why you're the most upset.

[H]

No, you're a callous, very bitter man. You're a very callous, bitter man. And you have no business being on the radio station playing games with people's heads.

[B]

No, I'm really not bitter about it. I mean, you know what? You're much smarter at putting stuff like that together than I am. I'll give you that. So that doesn't bother me.

[F]

Yeah, I just.

[B]

You can manipulate way better than I can. Let me just give a quick recap because we're getting a lot of people calling up going, what are you guys talking about? We got this email yesterday. I got an email yesterday from this guy that I thought was just this complete hopeless romantic. And he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, but he was really, really general in the. In the email. Excuse me. And, you know, he was just, I mean, pouring his heart out in this email. And he said if I read it, he knew that his girlfriend would be listening because she's a big time listener of the show, and she would show up at Maggiones at 9:15 because that restaurant holds a really special place in their heart. So I read the email yesterday, read it, like, twice today. We sent Phil Tyranna down there at 9:15 this morning to see this whole proposal go down. The parking lot gets filled up with women that maybe think it's them that their boyfriend is going to be proposing to. And then once Phil is down there, Jeff makes the claim that the email he sent. He sent. Jeff wrote the email, sent it to me, and there was never a proposal going down. And he thinks it's a big joke and very funny that a whole bunch of women went down to Maggiana's today, had their dream squad.

[F]

I mean, this is my first Valentine single, and it's not, you know, it's. And I don't have that feeling. I don't. I don't want other people not to be romantic and other people not to be hurt people.

[C]

I did it to prove that there are women out there who will force them, you know, themselves into the wrong. Like, you know, it's like that playing that game you had when you were a kid where you had to try to put the triangle in the triangle hole and the circle in the circle hole. It's like trying to cram the triangle into the circle hole. It doesn't like, that woman did not fit the description. Why is that lost on everyone? She was trying to force herself into a situation where she could get engaged.

[B]

And so were the other five or six or seven or 10 women that went down there today that you really hurt?

[C]

I would assume so, yes.

[B]

And you feel good that they walk down there and you. They're walking away because you hurt them today. You feel good that they're walking away and you had.

[C]

I. Hopefully they're walking away going, you know what? I got to back off on this engagement thing.

[B]

Hey, Tony, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[E]

Yeah. I cannot believe you guys are lambasting Jeff over this because he has not once all week, even though he's been bitter, has not said, you shouldn't give roses, you shouldn't be special, you shouldn't have an engagement. Not one person is called with the right criteria. He was pretty vague, but he punked you guys. You guys have phone pranks. You do all that stuff. It does not hurt your credibility. There were no, not thousands of people. This was not. This email could have come from any blank listener punking you and not have really shown up. Anyone could have done that. Those women didn't have any connection. There hasn't been 2, 3, 10 people that have called you with any validity, even anywhere near matching this. You have.

[B]

If it was just me getting punked. I mean, Jeff's done that before. He phone scammed me with that Jezebel thing. That doesn't bother me, not even a little bit. It's the fact that 10 or 12 or however many women walk down there. This is the thing that bothers me, that 10 women that went down there and got really hurt today. And also the fact that I'm afraid, when's the next time Jeff's gonna do that, and who's gonna be hurt and who's gonna be hurt by it next time?

[F]

And it doesn't take a thousand people to justify. I mean, like, if it's just. If it was just one woman that went down there, is that not enough? And the thing is, it is Valentine's Day, and this was a day that was supposed to be themed about Valentine's Day. And the thing that Jeff is gonna also have bragging rights on it is he's ended the show before Valentine's Day on a sour note.

[B]

So you got that on your side.

[F]

Also, the thing that bothers me is that we have ended the week on this note. We've ended a week on where we are fractured in this room. There are listeners are fractured. We're not leaving with a good feeling. We're not leaving with a feeling of love. So there you go, Jeff. You got it. You know what? You hate this holiday and now you have ruined the vibe of the room. I hope you're happy. You're the bully of the room, and the bully of the room has won.

[C]

Well, I certainly didn't mean to kill everybody's Valentine's Day.

[F]

The one bad apple in the room today has caused the whole vibe of the room to be sour.

[E]

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It's third down.

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[B]

We're here, guys.

[A]

Thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree, Zoe.

[E]

This thing weighs a ton. Kurski, live with your legs, man.

[A]

Santa.

[E]

Santa, did you get my let Talking to you britches? I'm not.

[A]

Of course he did. Right, Santa?

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Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken were in concert last night at the Gwinnetta Arena. And I had a chance to go up there and hang out with those guys for a couple of minutes yesterday afternoon. And the thing about Kelly and Clay is we have had them both on a total of about eight times. Right. With Kelly, I think it's been three times, and with Clay it was four times or whatever, you know, I know that adds up to six.

[D]

I was a little curious on your math right there, honey.

[B]

So I really kind of went not as enthused about going up there yesterday as I had been in the Past only because I didn't know what to say to them at that point. So I came totally clean with them right off the bat. And I'm like, I really don't know what to ask you guys. So why don't you all interview yourself a little bit? And they bought it, and they did. And they turned out to be really, really cool. Here's Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken yesterday before the.

Between the two of you guys, I've talked to you seven times. Seriously?

[G]

Have you counted?

[B]

It has been. I think it's four for you and three for you.

[I]

Awesome. Awesome.

[B]

So I'm like, I don't know even know what to ask them anymore. I said, you know what? We're done.

[G]

This is a short one.

[B]

Okay. You know what I said was I would really like 60 seconds of you guys just to interview yourself. Like you interview Kelly. Kelly interview.

[I]

Hey, how did it feel to. Oh, wait, hold on. How did it.

[B]

Oh, you're not good at this.

[I]

I always get asked, but never mind.

[B]

Yeah, Ask the stereotypical questions.

[G]

She was gonna ask me. How did it win American Idol? And then she was like, oh, wait a second.

[I]

I forget.

[G]

You didn't win.

[I]

No, but I forget. How did it feel to do American Idol? How was the show?

[G]

It was really. I mean, it was. It was a blessing because it was such a.

[B]

See, these are our stock answers.

[G]

It was really. I mean, it was a blessing to be able to take part in something so exciting and cool.

[I]

How was the makeover, Clay?

[D]

How is.

[I]

Don't you get that one a lot, too? Okay.

[G]

You know, it really wasn't a makeover. I took my glasses off and got a new haircut that colored the.

[I]

I know. It's called money, right?

[A]

That's what I.

[I]

That's what I tell you.

[G]

But I got a question for you.

[I]

Okay.

[G]

Like, what's it like to go from small town girl to stardom in like, a year's time? Like, one day you're not. You're. You're doing nothing, and the next day you're on every single magazine cover. What's that like?

[A]

I don't.

[I]

You know what? It's just weird. It's like, you know, I grew up in a small town, so everybody knew.

[B]

My name in the beginning.

[I]

So now, you know, people know my name on a larger scale. That's my answer.

[G]

That's good, though. That's better than the one I.

[I]

Well, I've answered it so many times, I've got it down.

[B]

This whole thing, really, it's gotta be at one point it's gotta be exhausting. And I know you guys can't answer that honestly. And I know know you gotta put yourself. I know you gotta put your face on and you gotta say, I'll answer it on stage.

[A]

Okay, go ahead.

[G]

It's exhausting.

[I]

Oh, no, the first. Yeah, I remember the first, like six months of it. It's just. It's like getting going to a new job that's like so chaotic and everybody's watching, not just your boss.

[B]

Right.

[G]

I've always said that it never really slows down either. It's just that you learn how to live in the whirlwind.

[I]

You cope with it and you adjust.

[G]

And the whirlwind doesn't slow down. You just figure out how to deal with it more.

[F]

Yep.

[I]

Cause it's still just as busy. We're just used to it.

[G]

It's busier.

[B]

But there have gotta be days. And I know, I mean that, you know, you guys were doing and what you were doing a couple of years ago, now you are big stars. But there has got to be a time where you're like, this is really bothering me now. Like, I guess my real question is, is it what you thought it was gonna be?

[I]

Oh, yeah. I knew people before I did American Idol in the business and stuff. So I knew what it was gonna be like. But I'm very. Actually, we're both kind of introvertish. Like, whenever we're not working, we always stay in. So we don't really deal with a lot that most celebrities do. We don't go out, we don't do.

[G]

I always thought it was gonna be glass glamorous. And I sit on my couch at home and eat in my pajamas all the time and watch tv.

[I]

Yeah, I go camping.

[B]

Is it weird when you guys are out in the public? Is there always, like, in the back of your mind, like, I really have to watch what I'm doing here because I know someone inevitably is going to have a camera.

[I]

Well, I'm not a bad person.

[G]

So I always said I'm not flipping.

[I]

People off or anything.

[B]

Anyway, so you've told us it every now and then. You're a bad person, though. You said you've got a bad temperature.

[G]

Me to find something that I did wrong. And that's what I can come up with, that I do have a bad temper sometimes and some people in the room will vouch for that.

[B]

So you're saying, like, it doesn't bother you when you go out and like, you're not conscious, you know, like all the Time with people looking at you and stuff like that.

[G]

I'm conscious of it only because, I mean, I'll be completely honest with you. Sometimes it makes me go, goodness gracious. A little anonymity would be nice. I would like to go out to the grocery store and not have anybody staring all the time and taking of what type of milk I buy, you know, Because I guarantee you there are fans out there that know what percent of milk I buy.

[I]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And anytime anybody sees me in, like, a girl section, they're like, kelly's pregnant. And I'm, like, buying, like, girl stuff. I'm just like, oh, it's already been in there. Yeah. I'm, like, buying, you know, girl stuff that you need at certain times.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And.

[I]

Yeah. And then they're like, oh, she's pregnant. That's Justin's baby.

[B]

And I'm like.

[I]

I'm like, yeah, no, not at all. But that's okay.

[A]

Okay.

[I]

But I'm pretty lucky. I'm lucky. Like, I get away with it. I put a hat on and I put my glasses on, and nobody recognizes me, really. Yeah, I'm quite the chameleon.

[B]

So you're a little different. I mean. I mean, people will recognize. So that kind of gives you a little taste of how cool they were yesterday. I mean, they're still very. They're unaffected by this whole thing. They really are.

[D]

Which would almost be near to impossible to do. I mean, I think if I had people coming in to do my hair and makeup and pick out my outfits and have a stylist and go on the road and have all these people doing anything. I mean, anything you want. I mean, if they went in and they said, said, I want to shop at Nordstrom's today, Someone on their crew, it's their job to make it happen.

[F]

Oh, absolutely.

[D]

It would be so hard, I think, to stay down to earth with having all of that at your fingertips.

[B]

And when you think about it, just a couple years ago, I mean, they were nobody. Nobody knew, and they've just skyrocketed to this kind of stardom. I'm gonna give you an example of how great a sense of humor Kelly Clarkson still has. What we do when we go into these interviews is we have them cut things called line art, where, like, Clay will walk into the studio, and we've got a whole bunch of things typed up for him, and he says, hi, this is Clay Akin, and I listen to the Burt show on all the hits. Q100. Well, we had, like, 10 of them all ready For Kelly Clarkson. And clay got through his pretty well. And then Kelly started to do hers and she could not get through it. She was. She was feeling the pressure because she started messing up and then it just got more intense and more intense and more intense for her. This poor little thing could not finish.

[I]

Hey, what's going on? It's Kelly Clarkson and I know how to say it. And win all the kids.

Okay. Hey, what's up? This is Kelly Clarkson and I know how to win. I know how. What am I doing? What am I winning?

Oh, okay. I get it. I was like, what? I was like, okay. Hey, what's up? It's Kelly Clarkson. I know how to say it. And win all the hits on Q100.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[I]

It's just like a robot. All the hits Q100. Okay, edit. Hey, it's Kelly Clarkson on the Bert show on all the kit.

Hey, it's Kelly Clarkson on the hey, what? Hey, what's up? It's Kelly Clarkson on the Bert show on all the Hits Q100.

Wow, you have a lot of bloopers. It's okay.

[B]

She was really, really cool about it. Extremely cool about it.

[E]

The Burt show.

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Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[E]

Zoe, this thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[H]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

[E]

He's talking to you, Brittany. I'm not.

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Of course he did.

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