Full Show PT 1: Thursday, February 12 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Thursday, February 12 [Vault]

Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Bert Show Cast

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Overview

This lively morning episode of The Bert Show mixes laugh-out-loud banter, debate, and audience participation. The two main segments revolve around a humorous, gender-based household “law” regarding shared hygiene products and a quirky “email psychic” game where Jeff reads listeners’ personalities from their email addresses. The tone is playful, irreverent, and authentically conversational—a typical morning “escape” crafted for the show’s loyal audience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. The Great “Shower Product Law” Debate (01:00–10:41)

Setup

• Bert introduces the notion of creating a universal “law” to govern the use of personal care products between men and women in shared spaces.
• He humorously worries that by limiting each other’s access to gendered products, both sides stand to lose out on “the cool stuff.”

Major Talking Points

• Double Standards & Fairness:
  • Should women be allowed to use men’s electronic face grooming tools on other body parts if men are sneaking women’s specialty shower products?
  • Bert: “My fear is that if we make the law for women, the side for men goes away… I do like using your cool smelly stuff.” (01:13)
• Bathroom Economics:
  • The cost and nostalgia about “borrowing” expensive shampoo or handy loofahs come up. (03:43)
  • Cassie: “Stay away from my $25 shampoo when you’re not gonna, like, really use the right amount, you’re gonna use like half a handful.” (03:45)
  • Bert: “That’s the sacrifice I’m not sure can be made.” (03:57)
• Listeners Weigh In:
  • Tony calls in, revealing he buys his wife every possible women’s razor, but she always prefers his—so he leaves a decoy razor! (05:07–05:59)
  • Liz comments: “I definitely think that women shouldn’t be using razors or clippers for down there and then expect men to use it on their face. That’s disgusting.” (07:32–07:49)
  • Some listeners flip the script—one shares that her fiancé uses her razor (09:52–10:20), spotlighting that sharing goes both ways.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Kristin: “If you agree not to use what we put on our face on other parts of your body, we won’t scrub our testicles with your loofah.” (02:19)
• Cassie: “Men’s razors…definitely work better on our legs. So I understand why Tony’s wife is doing that.” (06:14)
• Showwide Realization: There’s never truly going to be an agreement, but the sacrifice of not sharing shampoos is “too much.” (09:33)

Memorable Exchanges

• Suggestion for gender-targeted grooming equipment (04:25–04:56):
  “There’s a huge hole in the marketplace for manscaping equipment…there needs to be special tailored equipment around sensitive areas like that.”
• Candid admission:
  Shelly: “I don’t understand the problem because it’s face down there anyway.”
  Bert: “It’s a different conversation for a different time.” (09:04–09:15)

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2. Jeff’s “Email Psychic” Game (11:46–22:51)

Setup

• Bert proclaims that Jeff has a superpower: he can interpret someone’s personality, profession, and even financial status just from their email address.
• Listeners are encouraged to call in and “test” his psychic email reading abilities.

Major Talking Points

• Reading Method:
  • Jeff explains the “pre at” (before the @ symbol) and “post at” (after the @ symbol) analysis.
  • “[e-mail] right? So, Skanky Wendy…right there tells a lot. And then the post at, what happens after…also speaks volumes.” (12:47)
• Judgment vs. Psychic Vibes:
  • Jeff and the cast debate whether he’s making judgments or showing true intuition.
  • Cassie: “It speaks volumes if you have multiple email addresses at multiple companies—I think that shows a lack of commitment and a lack of drive.” (14:38–14:51)
  • Kristin: “Wouldn’t a lack of drive be only having one job or no job at all?” (15:01)

Listeners Play Along

• A variety of listeners (Charlotte, Michelle, Melissa, Mandy, Nancy, Lisa) give their emails, receiving amusingly judgmental yet “psychedelic” feedback:
  • On “[e-mail]”:
    Jeff: “Just so you know, you’re an adult, and the Care Bear T-shirt isn’t cute anymore.” (17:53)
  • On “[e-mail]”:
    Jeff: “You want to be rich...pretend you roll that way…call Clark Howard and work on that credit card debt.” (18:33)
  • On “[e-mail]”:
    Jeff: “Thank you for using your email address to let us all know you’re 31.” (19:46)
  • On “[e-mail]”:
    (Silver Bullet—a playful innuendo, which the cast runs with for laughs.) Bert: “Is that a Coors Light thing or is it more sexual?” (22:18)

Memorable Moments

• “The underscore indicates you’re a day shift dancer.” (19:25)
• “If your name’s not Wendy, your name’s David, well, then I can make a big judgment about you.” (13:03)
• “The fact that you have given your email address out on the air is going to ensure you a bevy of creepy guys sending you pictures of their junk within the hour.” (22:51)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:13 | Bert | “My fear is that if we make the law for women… I do like using your cool smelly stuff.” | | 02:19 | Kristin | “If you agree not to use what we put on our face on other parts of your body, we won’t scrub our testicles with your loofah…” | | 03:45 | Cassie | “Stay away from my $25 shampoo when you’re not gonna… use the right amount, you’re gonna use like half a handful.” | | 05:28 | Cassie | “Why haven’t you bought her a razor identical to yours and put like a little pink dot?” | | 06:14 | Cassie | “Men’s razors…definitely work better on our legs. So I understand why Tony’s wife is doing that.” | | 09:15 | Bert | “It’s a different conversation for a different time. Thank you.” | | 12:47 | Jeff | “Skanky Wendy…right there tells a lot. And then the post at, what happens after…also speaks volumes.” | | 14:38 | Cassie | “It speaks volumes if you have multiple email addresses at multiple companies—I think that shows a lack of commitment and a lack of drive.” | | 17:53 | Jeff | “Just so you know, you’re an adult, and the Care Bear T-shirt isn’t cute anymore.” | | 18:33 | Jeff | “You want to be rich...pretend you roll that way…call Clark Howard and work on that credit card debt.” | | 19:25 | Jeff | “The underscore indicates you’re a day shift dancer…” | | 22:18 | Bert | “Is that a Coors Light thing or is it more sexual?” | | 22:51 | Cassie | “The fact that you have given your email address out on the air is going to ensure you a bevy of creepy guys sending you pictures of their junk within the hour.” |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• The “Shower Law” Debate: 01:00–10:41
• Jeff’s Email Psychic: 11:46–22:51

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, teasing, and tongue-in-cheek
• Plenty of friendly ribbing among the cast and with callers
• Self-aware and frequently pokes fun at “morning show” formulas

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Usefulness for Non-Listeners

This episode is a microcosm of morning radio’s knack for making daily arguments and quirks feel universal and hilarious. The Bert Show keeps things relatable—whether you’re sharing a bathroom with a partner or cringing at your first AOL email address. If you missed this episode, you’ll leave with shared laughs, clever observations about relationships, and the lingering idea that our digital and domestic habits say more about us than we think.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I'm a little bit nervous to start a debate in an area that I think could possibly be law between men and women.

[C]

Okay, you mean law.

[B]

Just an agreement that we can all make.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And I'll tell you why I'm hesitant on doing that. Because if women agree to one side of the debate, then men have to agree to another side. And I think that. I think we lose out on that.

[D]

Well, put it out there.

[B]

Okay. Well, my fear is that if we make the law for women, then the side of this for guys that will go away is that we won't be able to use any of your cool chick products in the shower that we use.

[D]

Like the loofah sponge, the one the exfoliators you steal. And don't tell us.

[B]

Right. Because it is cool in there, man. You got some really cool smelly stuff. Really nice smelling stuff. Body wash and body wash and stuff like that. I do like using and I'm not sure I want to sacrifice that, but I was gonna say that I think there should be some kind of law that women aren't allowed to use men's electronic products that we use for our face on other parts.

[E]

Oh, well, you can't outlaw one thing and then, yeah, you have to not use, you know, it's one way of stuff.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But that's fair.

[D]

If you're marking a line in the Santa territory, then you're marking it.

[B]

So I really like to take fairness.

[C]

Out of that, but I think it's completely fair. I think it would be the same thing. Like, if you agree not to use what we put on our face on other parts of your body, we won't scrub our testicles with your loofah that you're gonna exfoliate your face with.

[D]

But you are.

[C]

No.

[E]

Well, let me ask you a question, because I don't date guys. So if a guy forgets something, will he use a woman's razor if he needs to shave?

[D]

Yes. Or deodorant or moisturizer or shampoo or.

[E]

Conditioner, Then you can't use any of that stuff.

[B]

That's just because we forgot what I'm saying. Is there a. That are over at a dude's house or you're living together or whatever, and a guy uses that. There's a special part of his clippers that we use on our face and stuff like that. And from time to time, we will pick it up. I will pick it up and realize that that hair in my razor ain't yours. Electric razor is not from your face. No. And it's not from any of my manscaping either, because, you know, I just. I know my body. And Stacy has taken it into the shower or wherever she does that thing and uses my clippers with it.

[D]

Now, does she use the side that actually goes on your face or the side that would be like. To trim up the back of your hair?

[B]

The trim up of the back of the hair?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

That one, the one that kind of pops out.

[D]

That one's the best.

[B]

You can't use it for that area if I'm using it on my face.

[F]

Women.

[C]

Well, as long as you clean it.

[D]

Up, that's the best one to use. They should make just that part for women.

[C]

Buy your own.

[E]

Yeah, I was about to say women.

[C]

50 bucks at Target, if that's.

[D]

Yeah, but if we have to buy our own, then y' all have to buy your own stuff. And stay away from my $25 shampoo. When you're not gonna, like, really use the right amount, you're gonna use, like, a half of a handful. You know what I mean?

[B]

That's the sacrifice that I'm not sure can be made.

[D]

Yes, that's.

[E]

That's true. That's an expensive shampoo. And you're right. Guys will dump it.

[D]

Oh, dump, like, the whole handful of it. And it's like you really need a.

[G]

Quarter size of it.

[C]

Yeah. But it's not like he's rubbing it in odd places and then putting it back in the bottle. So you can scrub it into your head.

[B]

That's the offense.

[D]

It's not like lack of preparation, but that's the offense.

[B]

The offense is that. That area.

[D]

But there is nothing that works better than that.

[B]

Flip side of the get one for yourself. Or they should.

[D]

Why don't you buy one for your wife?

[G]

I just think there's a huge hole in the marketplace for manscaping equipment. I mean, because we always.

[D]

Landscaping. I mean, in general.

[B]

Right.

[G]

I just think we're always using something else to do that.

[E]

Right. That's so funny, though. You're right.

[G]

That really shouldn't be down there. Maybe need some moisturizer. I don't know. But there needs to be special tailored equipment around sensitive areas like that.

[E]

Agreed. Anyway, because I'm just imagining going to, let's say, a Walmart and just going.

[G]

Down that I just don't know how you market.

[E]

And I want to see the picture on the package.

[G]

Well, it would be on a package, so to speak.

[C]

That's the picture on the package.

[B]

Tony, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[H]

Good morning, guys. This has been an ongoing battle in my house for years and years. I buy my wife every kind of woman's razor there is. The Venus. And anything she wants, you can have. It doesn't matter. She's got to have my razor.

[C]

So why haven't. Just out of curiosity, why haven't you bought her a razor identical to yours yet and put, like, a little pink dot on it or something?

[H]

Well, actually, the way I wind up solving this problem is it's because I'd even buy her a razor. I'd buy, like, two of the lasers, and she'd still wind up with mine. I don't know what it is. And so I wound up putting a decoy. I keep one of my razors. I usually keep it in a glass right by the sink, and all her stuff's by the top. Well, now I just keep my decoy razor up top. And then I've got one hidden that I usually there that I use under the sink.

[C]

Done.

[H]

So now she thinks she's using my razor and she's actually using her own, and I keep mine in it.

[D]

And now, Tony, that's with the straight razors, right?

[H]

Yeah, yeah. Not the electric razor.

[D]

Yeah, we're talking about the electric ones.

[B]

That could happen at that. It can work that way also.

[D]

I mean, it could work either way. And I will say that men's razors, like all those Mach threes or whatever you guys use for your face, definitely work Better on our legs. So I understand why Tony's wife is doing that.

[E]

I don't know who manufactures women's razors, but. Yeah, I don't know why you think that. Yeah, because I don't. You think we're so delicate that you're gonna get us a razor because you wouldn't want to kill us with your harsh razors. And it doesn't work like.

[D]

You're right. It doesn't work as well as the men's.

[C]

The inventor of the Mach 3 should get a Nobel Peace Prize. I think it's the greatest blade ever.

[E]

But they should stop a man's razor to shave my legs?

[D]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

At this point, they should stop. With the amount of blades they're putting on a razor, though. Now it's just getting ridiculous.

[G]

Fifteen blades and the fact that they vibrate. I don't get that.

[B]

That's another one. Yeah.

[G]

I don't want anything.

[B]

That's why you guys are using it.

[C]

Now I.

[G]

Now I know why the chicas want.

[C]

To use my razors.

[D]

No, we don't want that.

[C]

I gotta tell you, I know this is.

[D]

I didn't understand vibrating razor blade.

[C]

No, no. Yeah.

[D]

That's not.

[G]

When you say it out loud, sounds ridiculous.

[C]

I didn't understand it either until I accidentally purchased one.

[D]

Uh oh.

[C]

And it makes a difference. And I can't figure it out because the vibration is so subtle or whatever. No, it's like. It's just. It's odd, but it makes a difference. Yeah.

[B]

Good morning. Sue, you're on. Or Liz, I'm Sorry, you're on. Q100.

[F]

Good morning.

[D]

Hey.

[F]

I was just going to agree with the guys. I definitely think that the women shouldn't be using, whether it's a razor or the clippers or whatever, to use it down there and then give it back and expect men to use it on their face. I just. I think that's disgusting.

[D]

Thank you. I mean, you clean it off?

[B]

Not really, no. Y' all don't do a good job of cleaning that thing off at all.

[G]

There's a new angle to this, like, especially with, like, I guess, manscaping and something that I'm. I'm doing. Currently, I'm in a long distance relationship with a girlfriend who's in. Who's in Boston. And we said the next time we get together, we're going to escape each other. It's bizarre.

[C]

That's going to be one of my last memories of you. And I don't like it.

[G]

I just. It's one of those things that, like, you agree to at 11 o' clock at night when you're on the phone, you're like, how can we spice things up? And we both say, because we were talking about sharing equipment and razors, and. And how do we. How can we make it more interesting?

[D]

And is that really interesting?

[E]

Trust.

[B]

See, I hate body hair so much that. That thought right there, it just has no. No validity with me whatsoever. No appeal, really.

[G]

Do you think it could be a little sensual? I mean, it is now a big trust exercise with obviously, a sensual element.

[E]

First couple that's ever really.

[G]

I mean, we. That's one of those. When you woke up the next morning, I'm like, man, that sounded really dumb. I mean, that sounded really bad.

[B]

It's not that bad. Good morning, shelly. You're on Q100.

[G]

I'm looking for patterns.

[F]

Hey, Bert, I don't understand the problem because it's faced down there. Anyway.

[E]

I'm sorry, what?

[C]

Say again?

[F]

At some point, Burt's face is down there. Anyway, so I don't understand.

[B]

It's a different conversation for a different time. Thank you.

[E]

That's the online conversation.

[C]

Now, wait a minute. Are you talking about Stacy or Andy?

[E]

Again, the online conversation.

[B]

Are we agreeing that there can be no agreement? Because the sacrifice of us not being able to use your shampoos and soaps and all that stuff is too much of a sacrifice.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

You can't demand one thing and not sacrifice the other.

[D]

I mean, if your woman is borrowing yours, then just get her one as a gift. She'll appreciate it.

[B]

It goes the other way also. Good morning, Jesse. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hi. I was calling to comment about using the razor.

[E]

Well.

[F]

Well, my fiance is the one that uses my razor, so. It's the opposite. It's the opposite.

[E]

He uses a razor down there.

[F]

I don't. Well, right now, because I'm working late, I don't see him. But I think he does. Because whenever I start using my razor, you know, I see all these hairs and I'm, like, coming from his beard, or is it coming from down there?

[G]

But I thoroughly clean that.

[C]

Don't you guys?

[G]

I mean, don't you want.

[B]

I use a razor down there?

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

But I make sure when I try to get all the hairs out.

[D]

Leftovers.

[B]

Yeah, you got to be completely sober to do that. You can't. No alcohol in your system for two.

[G]

Weeks before you use a razor.

[C]

I'm ever down there with a razor in my mind, I am consciously thinking the entire time, don't sneeze.

[A]

The Birch Show.

[I]

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[B]

We have discovered that Jeff has a super power.

[C]

Uh oh, what is it?

[F]

Well, sounds cool.

[E]

Even he doesn't know.

[B]

Jeff's superpower is if you call us right now and you tell us what your email address is. Oh, yeah, Jeff can pretty much give you a psychoanalysis or pretty much guess what you do for a living, how much you make and make some very general statements about you that are right on. It's true. It's like it's email. Psychic ability.

[C]

It's not. I mean, I don't want to take too much credit for it because I think we all have the ability. It's like. But we just haven't tapped into it, you know, and we haven't learned how. So I'll.

[D]

It's really channeled.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

This will be an educational, you know, and I'm gonna. And there's two clues. There's the. And in the industry, we call it the pre at and post at. Pre at symbol is the, you know, is the beginning. The identifier is, you know, the name that you pick for yourself.

[B]

Skanky Wendy.

[C]

Right. So Skanky Wendy. What did you know?

[B]

I'm just throwing it out there. Right, right.

[C]

And those are. So that. That right there tells a lot. And then the post at, what happens after the symbol also speaks volumes.

[B]

Skankywandyaol.com Right.

[C]

Like AOL, I mean, is cool, but it's a little bit dated, you know, so I'll make a judgment based on The AOL address, you know, or like Hotmail and Yahoo. But then you have to take other things into account, like your age and whatnot. If you're 18 years old and you're skanky, wendyotmail.com, god bless you. You're right where you should be. If you're 36 and your name's not Wendy, your name's David, well, then I can make a big judgment on you.

[B]

Is it a judgment or is it a psychic ability that their entire life unfolds in front of you when you see the email address?

[E]

I think it's a little bit of both. Because, I mean, we all judge people based on their email address.

[B]

Seriously?

[C]

Yes. We knew. Melissa 69-404-741.

[B]

Q100. Good morning, Charlotte. You are on Q100.

[F]

Hi.

[I]

Hey.

[F]

I love y'.

[H]

All.

[F]

I listen to y' all every morning on my way to work.

[B]

Thank you very much.

[F]

Ccurbouller.com now tell me the last half of that again.

[C]

CB bullard.com and is that one of your many companies?

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

But that's one that I can't give out my personal. Okay, well, too personal.

[C]

And are these all companies that you own?

[H]

No.

[C]

Okay, so these are all places. So you have a different email address for every place that you work?

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. Well, someday you'll make over 40,000 a year.

[H]

Wow.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

You wowed her. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Good luck.

[B]

That was a tough one to start with. Yeah.

[C]

Keep going on. And I think you'd be able. No, I think it speaks volumes that if you have multiple email addresses at multiple companies, I think that shows a lack of commitment and a lack of drive. And I think what you need to.

[B]

Do is having a whole bunch of jobs is a lack of drive, I was gonna say.

[D]

I would think it means the opposite.

[C]

Right, but you guys don't have the ability.

[B]

Well, wouldn't have. Lack of.

[E]

You're a superhero.

[B]

Wouldn't. A lack of drive being only having one job or no job at all.

[C]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I don't have the gift of cynicism, of reason. Yeah. All right. Good luck with that.

[B]

Hey, Chris, you're on Q100.

[H]

Hello?

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

Hey.

[C]

Yep.

[E]

Your turn.

[B]

Turn down the radio, dude.

[H]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Turn the radio down.

[H]

Okay.

[B]

It's just you and us, man, right here. It's you and me. We're looking in each other's eyes right now.

[H]

Hey, I got nothing. Six, six, [e-mail] nothing.

[B]

Six, six, seven at Comcast Jeff.

[C]

Okay, the post that tells me one that Carl is screening calls because it's a Comcast address.

[B]

Carl doesn't have any drive because that's two jobs he has.

[C]

But Comcast tells me that you change your email address frequently. You're not very organized and you don't really need to keep in touch with people for a long period of time because a comcast.net address, that domain goes with the email service that you have. It's the same as. What do you call it, like a Bellsouth.net and you know, that type of thing. So you don't really have the intention of staying in touch with people. It's problem for a long time. You probably have a lot of collectors contacting you and you may be wanted by the law. The fact that you're nothing 667 shows me that you want to be a rebel but really all that translates to is a lack of motivation. And you probably have a half finished tattoo.

[D]

What about when he was born? Does the number correlate?

[H]

No, no, not at all.

[B]

Did he nail that?

[H]

No, not at all. I've had that email address for years and years.

[C]

Yeah, well, you know what? Why don't you think about what I said?

[B]

It's a John Edwards move right there. John Edwards move. Why don't you go ahead, go home, think about it for a while and then you'll realize I'm right and you're wrong.

[C]

Much like a game against the deadly animals. I think line one is a gimme.

[B]

Oh yeah, that's a slam dunk.

[D]

Hey, back off. The deadly animals. We won last night.

[C]

Two bunch of people dressed like the Pope.

[D]

Yeah, they were wearing wigs.

[B]

Good morning, Michelle.

[F]

Hey there.

[B]

Hi. You're on with the great dollar not dollar Eevee.

[C]

Can I have your pre at and post that?

[F]

Well, am I supposed to say the whole thing? It's itty bitty kittyotmail.com itty bitty kitty.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, well now I'd like to start off before analyzing you, I would just like to tell you for safety reasons, take the wall of Beanie Babies out of the back windshield of your car. If you could do that, that would be great.

[F]

It's from a Barney song. I'm a Barney song. I've had it for over 10 years.

[C]

That's great, Michelle. And just so you know, you're an adult and the Care Bear T shirt isn't cute any more.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Thank you for calling. You're welcome.

[E]

Explanation didn't really help her very much.

[D]

Did she say that? Was a Barney song.

[C]

Yeah, whatever.

[D]

And she's had it for a long time.

[B]

Good morning, Melissa. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning.

[B]

Good morning, Jeff.

[F]

This is a tough one. Okay, Platinum B D card at Yahoo.

[C]

The Yahoo thing is coming up a lot and I guess, I don't know, I mean, was Yahoo Gmail before Gmail was Yahoo. You know what I mean? Like, was Yahoo Yahoo. The old cool one. I thought we'd get a ton of AOLs, but the Yahoo. So I'm going to reserve judgment on that. But I'm going to tell you, being on Platinum B card means you really, you want to be rich, you want to have a lot of money, and you want to pretend that you roll that way. I think if I were you, I would get off the phone with us and call Clark Howard and work on that credit card debt. Because that's no way to go in the future. You know what I mean? Like, you need to tackle that. You need to handle that. You have to stop renting. You have to start owning. Give your furniture back to Aaron's and finance it through, you know, rooms to go or something. Pay to own, not pay to live.

[B]

Thank you.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Thank you for calling. We're in the feel good business.

[C]

Thank you very much.

[D]

What does the underscore indicate to you?

[C]

She's a day shift dance. What? Women with an underscore in their name most likely are working the day shift to Tattletales on Monday or Tuesday.

[B]

Good morning, Mandy. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hello.

[B]

Hello.

[F]

I'd love Jeff to do mine because this is so funny.

[B]

Do it, Jeff.

[F]

Mine is skinnurse1977yahoo.com okay, well, hey, welcome to your 30s.

[C]

And thank you for using your email address to let us all know that you're 31. That's cool.

[F]

Love it.

[C]

Because we were all wondering.

[F]

I know.

[C]

The Gmail I'm not gonna dispute because I use Gmail. It's really great for convenient and searching and whatever. And I like the fact that if I was to meet you out and put your email address into my system, either my BlackBerry or save it in Gmail or something, I would know that if I ever had eczema and I wanted a 31 year old person to look at, I would know exactly who to call.

[F]

That's hot. Love it.

[C]

So is advertising your dermatology skills. Nothing says she's going to put out like knowing that she's a dermatologist.

[B]

Good Morning, Nancy. You're IQ 100.

[F]

Good morning.

[B]

Good morning.

[F]

It's sista Smudge at Yahoo.

[B]

Can you spell that?

[F]

S, I, S, T, A Smudge.

[B]

Sister smudge.

[C]

Well, I think the most telling part of this email address is the hip abbreviation of the word sister. Because you're not, you know, a somebody who colors within the lines. You're a rebel, you know, and you're like, hey, what could make me hip and cool like my hero, Queen Latifah? And I'll tell you what it is. It's taking the ER off a sister and making it an A.

[F]

And then it also indicates what part.

[H]

Of the country I'm from.

[C]

Ohio. And then the smudge doesn't. I mean, you're like, what's a cool word that goes. Because I've already decided on sista. Because I'm down with that cousin. So what sounds good with that sister? Mud puddle. No. Sista gravy? No. Sista smudge. Oh, yeah, that's rebellious. I'm gonna go on Yahoo right now and see if there's cause. I'm not afraid. I'll be sistasmudge99 if sistasmudge is taken. So congrat on living a life of rebellion.

[B]

All right, one more.

[D]

No, keep going. Keep going. Funny.

[B]

Good morning, Lisa. You're on Q100.

[F]

Good morning, Barto.

[B]

Good morning.

[F]

Okay, it's lovesilverbulletahoo.com Love Silver Bullet.

[B]

[e-mail].

[E]

I wonder who took that one.

[C]

I'll email you later and we'll talk privately about that.

[H]

That worked.

[C]

No, I'm serious. I'll email her later.

[F]

No, I'm saying. Okay, that worked. No, I'm kidding.

[B]

Is that a Coors Light thing or is it more sexual thing?

[F]

It's not a cool flight thing.

[B]

Okay, okay. I think the name really speaks for itself. And there's no definition.

[D]

In your car right now. Excuse me, Is there one in your car right now? Not.

[F]

No, not today. No, but you have.

[B]

No, but you have.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

She's got a long commute.

[G]

You know what?

[C]

I do.

[F]

I have an hour commute.

[D]

So.

[B]

An hour with that thing? You must be like employee of the month every single month.

[C]

And you know, the fact that you have given your email address out on the air is going to ensure you a bevy of creepy guys sending you pictures of their junk within the hour. The bird show.