Full Show PT 1: Thursday, February 5 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Thursday, February 5 [Vault]

Date: February 5, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into two lively and very relatable morning discussions: handling gossip in friend groups and relationships, and men's aversion (or not) to buying feminine hygiene products for their partners. The hosts explore nuances of etiquette, loyalty, and the awkwardness of social dynamics—infused with their trademark humor and candidness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Office & Social Circle Gossip: Etiquette Dilemmas

(00:00–09:06)

• Initial quandary: The segment opens with a host describing a friend who incessantly gossips—often making up stories. The dilemma: Is there an obligation to confront the gossiper or inform the person being talked about?
• Levels of gossip: The cast acknowledges that some gossip is relatively harmless, but fabricated stories—especially negative ones—cross a line.
• Defining gossip:
  • "Gossip means gossip's negative, right?" – [A, 02:05]
    The consensus is that gossip generally involves spreading news (true or not) that isn’t yours to share—often skewing negative.
• Ethics of involvement:
  • If you've separated yourself from a toxic individual, is there a duty to intervene when lies are being spread?
  • The risk: Getting involved may make things worse or drag you into unnecessary drama.
  • "Does it become meddling or is it just protecting friends?" – [A, 04:53]
• Gossip as toxicity: One host labels compulsive gossiping as "toxic," noting its capacity to poison group dynamics.
• Listener input:
  • Mark calls in with a practical solution: "Every time somebody's gossiping to you, just put your arm around them and tell them that you're talking about my friend, and they'll shut." – [Mark/Caller, 07:53]
  • Some listeners tease the hosts for gossiping themselves ("Y'all sound like girls right now." – [Caller, 08:20]), which prompts a reflection: is simply listening to gossip as bad as spreading it?
• Memorable moment:
  • "I already got a reputation for being the guy who loves gossip. I don't want to be the guy who gets involved in gossip." – [A, 08:30]

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2. Men Who Won't Buy Feminine Hygiene Products—A Relationship Flashpoint

(09:06–21:38)

• Listener call (Rose):
  • Rose discusses her husband’s absolute refusal to buy tampons, despite being married for over five years and having sisters.
    • "He still refuses, I mean, absolutely refuses to go to the store and purchase any tampons or tacks. And I'm livid right now." – [Rose, 09:53]
• Host reactions:
  • The hosts dissect whether this issue is symbolic ("...she wants to know that he will go through what is an uncomfortable situation for him in the name of love." – [C, 11:30]).
  • There’s debate if it's about control, sacrifice, or simply men being unreasonable.
  • One co-host sarcastically suggests that the sacrifice is "putting up with her nonsense demands" – [A, 14:02].
• Multiple callers:
  • Some women say they’d never expect their husbands to buy tampons, favoring self-sufficiency.
  • Men like Joe equate asking a man to buy tampons with asking a woman to buy condoms—both find it awkward ([16:25–16:57]).
  • Another caller suggests an avoidance strategy—buying intentionally the wrong product ([20:17–20:40]), which the hosts criticize as immature.
• Tensions rise:
  • Rose reveals the issue has led to a two-week "embargo" (sexual withholding), with her considering the problem divorce-worthy.
    • "He won’t do it, and I’ve cut him off until he actually goes to the store and buys it." – [Rose, 18:48]
  • Hosts speculate this is about larger relationship patterns, not just tampons:
    • "He doesn't compromise. So what you've done is you've dug in on this one issue, when you're really digging in on a big old personality thing on him, that's just bugging the hell out of you." – [C, 19:51]
  • "You've hit the tampon right on the head." – [A, 20:09]

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3. Entertainment Segment: Megan Fox’s Tattoo – Would Another Person’s Name Be a Dealbreaker?

(21:38–28:00)

• Pop culture topic:
  • The cast debates whether Megan Fox’s “Brian” tattoo (for Brian Austin Green) would deter a man from dating her after a breakup.
• Consensus among men:
  • For someone as attractive as Megan Fox, most men say they'd ignore the tattoo—even if it spells another guy's name.
  • "I would officially change my name to Brian so it'll feel good." – [C, 23:48]
  • The level of "deal breaker" depends on her attractiveness and length of the relationship:
    • "There is a relation to how hot she is to what you will put up with." – [C, 25:35]
    • "If it's Megan Fox, I go to the tattoo parlor and I get the name Brian tattooed in the same place." – [A, 26:04]
  • For average-looking women, having a prominent ex’s name tattoo is more likely to be a dealbreaker—a “one and done” situation.
• Female perspective:
  • The women say they’d put up with an ex’s name tattoo for someone like David Beckham, but not for an average guy ([26:43–26:56]).
• Funny listener story:
  • One caller needed to cover his ex’s tattoo during sex: "I had to use my hand and cover it up." – [F, 27:05]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Defining Gossip:
  • "Gossip means gossip's negative, right?" – [A, 02:05]
  • "If you point out that the part of the gossip is not true, then aren't you, by setting the record straight, contributing to the gossip because you're validating what the true story is?" – [A, 05:56]
• On Male Sensitivity:
  • "There's something charming about a guy, or at least you're impressed by a guy that has no problem doing that [buying tampons]." – [B, 20:42]
• Tampon Embargo Escalation:
  • "I’ve cut him off until he actually goes to the store and buys it." – [Rose, 18:48]
  • "Now that, to me, is a little ridiculous. Like, I hate when women do this where they withhold this just to make a point." – [C, 19:08]
• Dealbreakers & Tattoos:
  • "If it's Megan Fox, I go to the tattoo parlor and I get the name Brian tattooed in the same place." – [A, 26:04]
  • "There is a relation to how hot she is to what you will put up with." – [C, 25:35]

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Segment Timestamps

• Gossip etiquette in social/work circles: 00:00–09:06
• Caller Rose: Men buying tampons, relationship battle: 09:06–21:38
• Megan Fox tattoo debate (name tattoo deal breaker): 21:38–28:00

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Tone and Takeaways

The conversation is lively, irreverent, and peppered with quick-witted banter. Beneath the surface, the hosts offer real insights about boundaries, relationship expectations, and the social codes that dictate everyday interactions—from office gossip to what it means (or doesn’t mean) for a man to buy feminine hygiene products for his partner.

Best for: Listeners who enjoy humor mixed with relatable dilemmas, candid debate, and the fun of hearing others navigate the messiness of friendship and relationships.

Transcript

[A]

The Birch Show. I don't know if this is socially awkward or if it's just a weird. Like an ETI. I guess it's etiquette, but it's etiquette of somebody who's already doing something. How do you. How do you handle somebody who's already doing something wrong?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, I need etiquette for somebody who's already not in the right. Because we have a friend, Jessica and I have a friend who is a little bit of a gossip. And, you know, like, if you say, I don't like gossip, but don't believe in it, you're lying. Gossip's fun. Everybody likes to talk crap about everybody else. Makes you feel good, puts other people down, and what's not enjoyable about that? Right. So you sit around and you say.

[C]

Unless they're your friends. I mean, are you talking about, like, a closed circle? Are you talking about people you don't know?

[A]

I mean, it's just in every. In every circle, you know? Like, let's. Let's say let's use the environment of an office. Okay? So, like, we all know each other here at Q100, you know, Nathan and Sales and everybody else. Like, we're all friendly, and we all know who is who. And let's say there's some.

[D]

Allegedly.

[A]

Allegedly. Right? So we're all in this circle and everything. And you'll gossip about other people in the office who you know and you have a respect for because they work in the same company as you. Well, this one person that is a gossip is, like, a pretty severe gossip to the point where they just. Like, there's stuff that's blatantly made up. Like, I mean, they are a hardcore. It's almost the only thing they know how. What to talk about or how to talk is by gossiping.

[B]

But I do think Bert's right. Like, I think that if you don't. If you. If somebody comes up and tells me a story about somebody behind their back that I don't know too well. It's weird then, that I don't think much of that person. If it's a close friend of mine, then it's like we're just talking about what's going on, and we're kind of comparing notes.

[C]

Like, is this the inner clique gossip stuff that goes on? Because that's the stuff that I hate. Like, is this, like, part of, like, your friend group where people are talking crap about each other within the same group?

[A]

Like you and I talking about Melissa? Yeah, Just have it be, like, shady or whatever. Not. It's a broader group than that because.

[B]

There are levels of gossiping that are existing. Some are acceptable and some are not.

[D]

Well, and is it gossiping if you're sharing somebody's good news or is it only bad news?

[C]

If it's gossip, yeah.

[A]

Gossip means gossip's negative. Right.

[D]

Like, if somebody's pregnant and you know about it when she's only like two months along, and like, I go and I tell Melissa, like, hey, did you hear so and so pregnant? Or whatever, is that still gossip?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is gossip or is gossip?

[D]

Because that's gossip.

[B]

Talking about something you don't know about.

[C]

It's not your news to share, though.

[B]

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's either. It's unconfirmed, but even if you know.

[A]

For certain, like, something like a pregnancy should be spread by the parties involved and that.

[D]

So then that would be gossip.

[A]

It'd be gossip.

[D]

But if maybe she's just started telling people. I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out if it's only bad news that's gossip, or if it's good news, it's also gossip.

[B]

What does your friend do, Joe?

[A]

Well, it's hardcore. Like, all she communicates in is gossip. Like when she talks, everything's a story, you know what I mean?

[D]

About someone else.

[A]

About somebody else. It's almost like she doesn't have the capability of having a random conversation about a new car she's going to look at. Like it's always about someone else. So much so that I have begun to limit my time with this person because it's weird, but I still have a great friend who's around them a lot, around her a lot. So I get the secondhand gossip. And it's almost a joke now. Like when I know that they're going out for drinks or when they're going to see each other or if they end up at the same event. Like, I'll say, oh, so what stories do you get? And it's. For a time, it was a joke because there are always a stack of stories. And we would laugh at the stories. But then. Or maybe not that, maybe this has always been the case, but then the stories started to affect people that I knew. And I knew the stories were made up, like 100% completely. And it's probably like that childhood telephone game. Like, I tell Bert something and Bert tells Melissa, Melissa tells Jen, Jen goes to all the interns, and by the time it gets back to Tracy, the story's 1 million times different. Maybe that's what's happening, but the stuff is just blatantly wrong. So my question is. Because I'm removed, like, I've already separated myself from the person who does nothing but gossip. My question is this. Do I have any sort of obligation to go to either A, the person who's gossiping and saying, you're not telling true stories and I think it's shady, or B, do I have any obligation to go to the person that the stories are being told about and saying, hey, somebody's telling stories about you, and not only is it gossipy, but the stories are wrong? And obviously, because it's gossip and we establish gossip as negative, it's not good stuff.

[B]

Mm.

[C]

I think I'd go to the person that the gossip is about rather than the exact source.

[D]

I think you can go to both.

[A]

But my. I almost think, like, I have these thoughts in my mind that I feel some obligation to protect these people. But then I'm like, well, I've already removed myself from it.

[C]

Yeah, they're not even really great friends. So are you contributing to the gossip and the drama by getting involved in it at all?

[A]

That's my thought. Because then does it become, oh, yeah, meddling, or he never meddling?

[B]

I don't think it is. If you go to the gossiper, you know, you're not meddling anything. You're just going to them. I mean, even if you tell them, look, the reason we don't hang out as much is because I don't really like you talking about everybody.

[C]

I don't think you're capable of that conversation.

[A]

It's a tough conversation to have.

[C]

I don't think you're capable of that.

[B]

But I do think if you go to the person being talked about, because nobody seems to. That you said that they laugh about this person's story. So it's not as if anybody believes what they're saying about that person anyway. So I wouldn't even talk to the person who's being gossiped about.

[A]

I didn't have a problem when the gossip was just gossip, when it was just BS gossip. But then when blatant lies start to come up and I know the truth, like, then it's almost like, well, wait a minute. But then do I become a gossip by setting the record straight?

[C]

I think because the people that you're talking about aren't really important to you anymore. I think you just take yourself out of it.

[A]

Is there out of the loop, out of sight, out of mind?

[C]

Because if not, it seems to me like you're just Contributing to the whole Hills mentality.

[A]

Because then it's funny you said the hills, because when I had this conversation with Jessica, she's like, okay, Elsie, how do you want to handle this one? But yeah, because then the only way to. If you point out that the part of the gossip is not true, then aren't you, by setting the record straight, contributing to the gossip because you're validating what the true story is.

[C]

I'll tell you what I think will happen also, because you're not part of this tight group anymore. If you get your hands in it, they're all gonna turn on you because they're still hanging out with each other.

[A]

Oh, Jeff just can't let go, eh?

[D]

That's what I was gonna ask is how close is the gossiper to the person that they're gossiping about?

[A]

The person who is being gossiped about is a lot closer to me than the person who's doing the gossiping.

[D]

But are they close to each other? Are they friends?

[A]

Not really.

[D]

Because I would say you should tell the one being gossiped about if they are good friends and they're being deceived on that friendship, like, hey, you need to know who you're dealing with here. Like, you need to know that this person is not really your friend. You know, I've done that before.

[C]

I've done that before.

[A]

Yeah, really?

[D]

I've done that before and just said, listen, this person is saying this about you, and they'll turn on me.

[C]

You know what has happened when I've had that conversation with a person? I said that. He said to me, that's cool that you said that, because I got to tell you what's going on about you.

[A]

Really?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

And the person was doing the same thing on the reverse.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

See, now I want to.

[B]

Because set the record straight about me because that person's talking about you too.

[A]

Yeah, I know. And that's the whole thing is like, I know that it's a two way street.

[D]

Of course it is. And I don't have a life of.

[A]

Their own, and I almost don't want.

[D]

To know, judge and talk about everybody else's life and share or they feel.

[B]

Well, they're getting attention that way. Like they may be there's somebody that doesn't feel confident in telling their own stories because they don't think they're interesting enough.

[A]

I have a friend who. Who has somebody like this in their circle or who did and referred to that person as toxic. And I'm like, that is a great word.

[C]

Hey, mark, you're on Q100.

[F]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[B]

Good.

[C]

You got a way to stop this?

[F]

Yes, sir. Every time somebody's gossiping to you, just put your arm around them and tell them that you're talking about my friend, and they'll shut.

[C]

And I think if you use this accent right here, it's more helpful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It does not get shot with a hunting rifle.

[D]

It does sound like you'll be doing it on the front porch of a cracker barrel.

[A]

Right? Hey, y', all, you're talking.

[C]

If he did it to me, it would be, like, all warm, like, you know, it sounds sincere to me.

[D]

It does.

[A]

That's funny.

[C]

Cooper, what's up?

[F]

Hey. I just listen to y' all show. I just want to say that both y' all sound like a girl right now.

[C]

Yeah. Guys aren't supposed to talk about gossip.

[A]

I know. That's whole part of the problem is I don't want to insert myself into it and then become. I already got a reputation for being the guy who loves gossip. Like, I don't want to be the guy who gets involved in gossip.

[C]

What is the difference?

[A]

Because the guy who loves it just listens to stories and repeats them. The guy who's involved is re editing them and bringing other people into the loop. And I think we all need to have, like, who's more annoying than the girl who is. Like, we all need to sit down and talk this out. I don't want to be that girl.

[C]

The guy.

[A]

I don't want to be anything. The Burt Show.

[C]

Rose, good morning. You're on the voice disguiser. How are you?

[E]

Good morning. I'm fine.

[C]

Good. Can you speak up just a little bit for us? Sometimes when we have the voice disguiser on, it's a little tough to hear.

[E]

Hi, guys. How are you doing?

[B]

Good.

[C]

You have been married for how long now?

[E]

A little over five years.

[C]

Five years.

[D]

And how long have you been a part of the Golden Girls, whose name is Rose?

[C]

No, I'm. I renamed her. That's not her real name.

[A]

Her real name's Martha.

[C]

Rose, how long has this one particular subject been a source of frustration for you?

[E]

It has ever since I have actually met my husband. While we were dating, he actually had an issue with going to the store and buying me tampons.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

And I actually thought that this was something that he would get over. I'm usually good about purchasing my stuff, and every month. However, we got married approximately two years ago, and I recently found out that this is still an issue for him, and he still Refuses, I mean, absolutely refuses to go to the store and purchase any tampons or tacks. And I'm livid right now.

[B]

I want to ask, does he have any sisters? I said, I mentioned this earlier.

[E]

He does. He does. Sisters.

[B]

Three sisters. I can't believe that he is so opposed to this then.

[E]

He is. He's absolutely opposed to it. I mean, it's to the point where when he was growing up with them, they would, I guess, joke with him and play around with the issue. But it's, it's, it's causing a problem right now for me.

[D]

Is he creeped out about this time of the month in general? Like he doesn't want to hear about.

[C]

It or all guys are. I mean, most guys are creeped out by this whole thing. I don't know most guys.

[E]

Not necessarily. I mean, he just doesn't want to have to do anything with purchasing the product. He knows it happens every time this month. But to actually go to the store or go to the grocery store, he was. He refuses.

[A]

Now, you also know it happens at the same time every month. So why don't you just buy it?

[E]

I mean, I would, but as my husband, I think he should have my back if I actually need him to go to the store at 9.

[C]

This is what I'm talking about right here. Like, the actual purchasing of this stuff is really not the issue.

[A]

She just wants to know that she can control him.

[C]

The issue now, it's the sacrifice. Like, she wants to know that he will go through what is an uncomfortable situation for him in the name of love. Right.

[E]

That's true.

[B]

I had told these guys that I had heard this comedian talk one time. This guy kind of judging other guys for being weirded out by it because it's like, you know, the cashier knows that I'm not using these. And he said it also proves that I'm with somebody, that I'm pretty much. He's hooking up, he's getting some. So he, you know, he's proud to do it.

[C]

Hey, Michelle, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[E]

Hi.

[C]

Hi.

[F]

I just was going to let her know.

[E]

My husband, who I have been married.

[F]

To now for going on 10 years, certainly won't go to the store to buy tampons. But after I gave birth, I needed him to go to the store. I was breastfeeding to get pads that.

[E]

You put in, and he wouldn't even do that. He made one of his female co.

[F]

Workers go to the store to buy it.

[C]

I don't understand the Insecurity. In this case of guys, like, what's the. What really is the big deal? Like you said, chances are pretty good the cashier knows that you're not using them on yourself.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[C]

So I don't understand, because it doesn't seem like a big sacrifice to me.

[A]

I don't understand the problem with the girl just buying them herself. Like, I understand that the pregnant woman, you know, on account of being all, you know, pregnant and just give birth and probably tired. I mean, that seems like a big deal. So. So sorta. Yeah. So she's probably all wiped out and are, you know, sore and whatnot. But for the, you know, the. The tampons. Why not? Like, why do you have to. She might have cramps, but she knows it's coming. It's not.

[D]

Have you ever had a menstrual cramp, Jeff dollar?

[C]

Yeah, he had one this morning as soon as he got in here. I think we all realized.

[A]

You're giving me one right now.

[B]

Jeff is on his period right now.

[C]

What did we call it before your manstration? Yeah.

[B]

You're a man straight.

[D]

Are you PMSing?

[A]

I'm pre. Manstruating.

[B]

Yeah. No, but, Rosa, I want to ask what Jeff is referring to. So do you never buy it for yourself?

[E]

I always buy it for myself. I mean, within the five years that we have been married, I probably asked him twice to buy it. So it's not that I'm sending him to the store on a regular basis every month.

[B]

It's just whenever you kind of. It catches up with you, you have to go and you ask him to go.

[C]

It has zero to do with that product. It has her to everything to do with him being uncomfortable.

[A]

No.

[C]

And her wanting to say, look, just make a little sacrifice for me here. I know you're uncomfortable with this, and even though it doesn't make any sense, do it for me. I mean, I'm your wife. Do it.

[A]

He does make a sacrifice. He puts up with her nonsense demands.

[C]

I don't think it's nonsense.

[A]

Totally is.

[C]

And I don't think it'd be a big deal for him to go in and just do it.

[D]

Have you ever bought tampons for Jessica?

[A]

I don't think she's ever asked me, honestly.

[D]

Have you ever had to buy them?

[C]

I think I have, yeah.

[A]

I mean, I think I've been to the grocery store, like when we've been shopping, you know, and checked out with them.

[D]

Cause that's a funny picture.

[A]

Well, I balanced all the stuff in my head as I Approach.

[D]

I just imagine Jeff Dollar pushing a grocery cart with a big box of tampons in it.

[A]

I don't know why that's. So I just go to Costco and I get that 30 gallons of Tide and 400 tampons.

[C]

He comes out with a forklift of tampons.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Just go ahead, put the pallets right on top of the truck. It's all good here.

[A]

Hey, is this gonna fit in the back of my suv or do I gotta get one of them Home Depot vans?

[C]

Rose, what were you gonna say?

[E]

I was gonna say there was an instance where we were actually shopping together and I put it in the cart and he just made a U turn out the door, like, continue with your shopping.

[B]

He's so embarrassed by it.

[C]

I gotta be honest with you. I'm really surprised by the calls. Cause most of them are from women telling you that you're being ridiculous. Totally.

[D]

What?

[A]

Amen.

[C]

Go ahead, Melissa.

[E]

Okay. Yeah.

[F]

It's making me angry listening to this.

[E]

Woman, because am I the only woman in the world who keeps, like, a stock of tampons? Never, ever ask my husband to go and buy them for me?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

What would be the big deal if you did? I'm sorry, I don't understand. What would be the big deal if you did ask him to go?

[A]

But what's the big deal with her just being prepared? It's not as bad.

[C]

Well, Melissa's just saying she doesn't have a big old, like, closet.

[B]

There's plenty of times where women don't stock up. And there's plenty of times when women may forget. And then they start. You know, there's plenty of times that it can sneak up on you. And you may be in a situation where you can't go. And then somebody's on their way home and you call them and say, look, could you just run by the store before you get here and help me out?

[A]

Can't you just bottle up some newspaper or something?

[D]

That's real healthy. That's real safe.

[E]

I mean, basically, I wanted to find out. And the guys, not Jeff. Yeah, but from the Atlanta listeners. Is this a problem? I mean, do you actually go to the store and buy these products for your wife or girlfriend, or is it a mission impossible for you guys also?

[C]

All right, so you just want to hear from guys.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So every girl calling up telling you that you're crazy doesn't matter.

[E]

No, it doesn't.

[C]

That has surprised me. Joe, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hey, guys.

[C]

Love you.

[F]

Fantastic show. The question is Would she buy condoms for her husband?

[E]

I have.

[F]

Because my wife would not. And secondly, I probably would not.

[C]

Why? See, I don't understand what the big deal is, Joe. Like, why would your wife not buy the condoms?

[F]

I don't know. It's just the same type of thing. It's.

[A]

She doesn't like to think about him with his girlfriend.

[F]

Yeah. She might look at the size maybe and go, oh, boy.

[C]

You know, that's embarrassing because it's too small.

[B]

But you said that you wouldn't buy tampons for her either.

[F]

Oh, God, no.

[D]

Why? Does it make you think about her period?

[F]

Yes. It's kind of one of those things where I'm like, you know, you just keep away from them for, like, those three days.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

It's not. I mean, she's fantastic girl, and, you know, we've been married for about 12.

[A]

Years, 24 days a month. She's an angel.

[C]

I just don't understand what the big sacrifice is. Even if that whole part of your relationship, even if it grosses you out, if she can't get there, I don't see what the big sacrifice is. Are you going in, getting the stuff and checking out? It's done in five minutes, and you're never gonna see the cashier ever again.

[B]

And nobody's really doing it.

[F]

It's sort of that one movie a couple years ago where he had to buy tampons. I don't know if it was Mr. Mom or something. More than a couple years ago. What's that?

[C]

It was more than a couple. Well, yeah, I guess so.

[F]

I'm kind of slowing the time there. But it's just one of those things. And not by sorry. I would not do it either. She should be prepared for it. And, you know, I can look right now under the sink there. There. There's a box ready to go. And if she's running low, she better have them ready.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Charming.

[C]

I'm not in the same camp on this one. Good morning. Zach, can you turn your radio down, please? Yes, go ahead, man. What's up?

[F]

Yeah, man, I just think that, you know, she. If I'm. First of all, I would buy tampons for my wife, I don't have a problem with it. But if her husband's insecure about it and doesn't want to. Doesn't want to do it, then, you know, I think that she should just drop it. It's a lot of wasted energy. I mean, can you imagine the argument they must have if, you know, I'D like to ask Rose. Do they actually argue about him not buying the tampon?

[C]

Yeah, but if you email.

[A]

She said it might lead to divorce.

[C]

What? No, you didn't.

[A]

Yes, you did.

[C]

He said it's going to lead to divorce.

[E]

I said it's gotten to the point where if we don't rectify this, then it's. It's possible now.

[B]

Yeah, there's got to be something else because I. Going back on that last caller, if it gets to the point where you test him too, I bet. Just to see if he'll do it.

[E]

Well, actually, right now we're not having sex and we're not cut him off until he actually goes to the store and buys it.

[C]

All right, so hold on a second now. How long has this embargo been going on?

[E]

Two weeks so far.

[C]

Two week hoochie embargo. Just because he won't go and he won't. The woody. What embargo? Just because he won't. Now that, to me, is a little ridiculous. Like, I hate when women do this where they withhold this just to make a point. This bothers me. Now you lost me.

[B]

I mean, I understand the frustration because I don't understand what the big deal is, but I think it is. You're probably carrying it just a little too far.

[E]

I mean, I hear it. It is what it is. And I mean, I'm just wondering what.

[D]

Else is going on.

[C]

Yeah, there's gotta be.

[E]

I mean, that is the only absolute issue. I mean, that's.

[C]

Does he have a pattern of, like, not wanting to do anything uncomfortable for you? Like, let's say there's a party that you guys want to go to Friday night, and he knows that everybody. That this party. He's gonna be bored to death. He absolutely refuses to go. Is he that kind of guy?

[E]

He is. He is.

[B]

Okay, that's what we're talking about here. It's not about.

[C]

It's like he's. He doesn't compromise. So what you've done is you've dug in. It sounds like on this one issue, when you're really digging in on a big old personality thing on him, that's just bugging the hell out of you.

[E]

It is. I think that's. You hit it right on the head.

[D]

That's the myra coming out in you.

[C]

That's what I do.

[A]

You've hit the tampon right on the head.

[C]

Hey, Alex, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hey, good morning, guys.

[A]

What's up?

[F]

I tell you when I'm drinking my Budweiser eating my buffalo wings. And the commercial comes out for tan packs a yeast infection that bothers me. I have to switch the channel.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

I shouldn't be watching Lifetime while you're eating your wings.

[F]

If my wife were to ask me, I would definitely go out there, buy the wrong product. So that way, if I give it to her, she would never ask me again.

[C]

Dude, come on.

[B]

What is wrong with you?

[C]

What is the matter?

[B]

I gotta say, And Jen, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there something charming about a guy, or at least you're impressed by a guy that has no problem doing that?

[D]

Absolutely. Because they realize it's a natural thing. It's not some sort of disease that we get once a month. It's such a natural process. Every woman, you know goes through it every single month. So, yeah, get over it.

[B]

It's almost like a sign. It's almost like a sign of respect that the guy would do it. Like, the reason I asked about if he had sisters is. Cause normally a guy like my brother, he has no problem with that. Cause he's got two sisters and he's had to do that before. And he has no problem doing that. And my father had no problem doing that. And so I just think there's something. Yeah, just. I think it's a sign of respect. Because when guys like you, I will.

[C]

Buy the wrong product.

[B]

It just is disrespectful.

[A]

When I was in college, I used to carry them with me in my pocket and just randomly offer them to girls at the bar. And then they would know I'm a sensitive, deep guy and that I have no problem with stuff like that.

[D]

Did you put your phone number on him?

[A]

So.

[C]

The Birch Show. All right, so last week, I think it was Jen that told us that FHM named Megan Fox the sexiest woman in Hollywood. Right?

[D]

Yeah, sexiest woman of 2008. And it's only April, but they're still coming out with the year's list of the hottest women. And so she's posed, of course, in this very, you know, seductive look. She's wearing a bikini, and you can see that she has on her right, like, right hip, but it's more like, you know, closer to the.

[A]

What he. What?

[D]

But she has written in this scroll Brian. Because she is married to Brian Austin Green. Right. Or engaged to.

[C]

I think engaged.

[D]

I think it's engaged to.

[C]

I think they're engaged.

[D]

I think it's engaged to Brian Oscar.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

The dudes from 902 on up, they're still together?

[D]

Yes. So she has Brian tattooed on her. Whatty.

[C]

What?

[A]

Wow. New respect for three names. Brian Austin Green. Well done, my friend.

[D]

So we were talking about it in the studio, and we were looking at her picture and everything else, and I was asking the guys, would you have a hard time getting together and hooking up with a woman who had some other dude's name tattooed on her? Because, say, they break up or whatever or don't get married or, you know, whatever happens and they move on to other people. Like, would a guy be able to get over the fact that she had Brian written right there?

[C]

All right, let's ask only guys this question, because I think you're gonna hear pretty similar sediment through all these calls. You're talking about two different things. Like, could I get.

[D]

What do you mean?

[C]

Could I get past the tattoo of somebody else's name if it's just gonna be a couple of weeks and she's as hot as Megan Fox? I've told you guys before, guys will sacrifice a whole bunch for hotness. And if I have to stare at some other dude's name on her body, just knowing that I've got Megan Fox for a couple of weeks, I could see right through it. I wouldn't even see it. I don't even care.

[D]

It's like, right there, like a big red flashing light.

[C]

Sleeping with Megan Fox. I don't care.

[A]

Yeah, but here's.

[D]

You said last week you'd change your name to Brian.

[C]

I would officially change my name to.

[A]

Brian so it'll feel good. The problem you're gonna have is, does she. When does she tell you? Like, does she tell you when you're in your intimate moment and you're making your way down there to where you'll see it?

[D]

Like, where?

[A]

And she's like, hold on a minute.

[B]

I'm not gonna tell you that.

[A]

And if the name's Brian, and let's say she goes out, let's say her and Brian Austin Green break up, which they should. And so let's say they, you know, are no longer seeing each other because she's too hot for him. And she goes to a bar and hooks up with some other dude and his name's Brian. And then on the second date, he's doing that and sees his own name down there. Like, no matter how hot she is. That's pretty psycho.

[D]

He thinks she's crazy because he thinks she got it after the first date.

[A]

So she's gonna have to warn everyone.

[C]

Regardless, if you realize a girl is that crazy, and she's that hot, you'll still have sex with her three times. So now, if you're talking long term, like, if now you're in your relationship and you're in love with her, then it starts to bug you after a while.

[D]

How long till you get sick of reading Brian?

[C]

13 years. If I get to have sex with her.

[A]

You mean that's how long you'll deal with it?

[C]

Yes. I don't know. I think once you really start to have feelings for her, and I think once you start to exchange the L word, then I think it probably starts to annoy you a little bit, then.

[D]

It'S gotta turn into a dragon.

[C]

Something. You gotta make Brian out of something.

[A]

What is Brianiac? No, it means brainiac, but he misspelled it. Really? A really smart Woody. What?

[C]

That's what he wants. Good morning, Terry. You're on Q100.

[F]

Hi. How y' all doing?

[C]

Good. How are you?

[F]

Yeah, she could have Pope Benedict tattooed all across her front and that'd be okay for the first few times.

[C]

It doesn't matter. There is a relation to how hot she is to what you will put up with.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

Exactly. Exactly. And if it got too bad, then you could roll her over, you know, then you wouldn't see it for a while.

[C]

Right? I think that was my point last week.

[D]

Well, let me ask you this. What if she's an average looking woman, but you guys are getting along great, You've gone out on a couple of dates, you are really excited that she's taking you back to her bedroom, and then you see Brian tattooed, and what if it's on the front and the back?

[C]

Average looking woman, average deal breaker.

[D]

You don't sleep with her?

[C]

I probably sleep for the one.

[A]

If it's Megan Fox, though, I go to the tattoo parlor and I get the name Brian tattooed in the same place and just say that we're getting matching tattoos. And when people ask me 10 years from now what that means, I'll say, well, there's one time, you know, Megan fans, she and I hooked up and we met at my friend Brian's house. Even if I don't, then I'll go. Then I will go find a man named Brian and bring her to his place. And at that place, tell her I love her. And that is how I will have sex with Megan Fox.

[C]

Now, do women operate the same way? Like, if a guy is. I mean, we're talking about, you know, choose your flavor, David Beckham.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right. If he's got, let's say, he and Victoria break up or whatever. And he's got tattoos of Victoria on him. Can't you work around that? Cause he's so good looking. At least for a little while.

[D]

For a little while? Yeah. If he looks like David Beckham, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But if he's average looking guy, I don't know.

[C]

Deal breaker. Good morning. Ryan, you're on Q100.

[F]

Hey, guys.

[B]

Hey.

[F]

Well, my ex had one on her back right at the top, behind her shoulder blades. You know, as when we did what dogs do, I had to use my hand and cover it up.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

Really?

[F]

Yeah, but I mean, it was pretty big too. I mean, I have pretty nice sized hands and it pretty much covered it up. I mean, but you know, that was kind of ignorant for anybody to put somebody else's name on there. And in Megan Fox's case, she'll get a good laugh out of me.

[C]

That would be tough. I mean, if you see it every single time and it's bothering you so much to where you got to put your hand over it.

[F]

Right? And of course, that was her favorite position. So.

[A]

She love filled relationship. She loved it when we did it like the dogs do it.

[C]

Wow. A little too in depth on memory lane there.

[A]

As a matter of fact, she might be down in his basement right now. Oh, my Lord. The bird show.