The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Thursday, January 15 [Vault]

Date: January 15, 2026
Hosts: Bert Weiss, Jeff Dollar, Brandy, Melissa Carter, Jen Hobby

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers around laughs, shared real-life awkward moments, and dynamic interaction with listeners. The main themes are concert stories and the drama of mistaken confidence, as well as a hilarious, deep dive into tales of bad kissing. The episode brings together the show’s trademark authenticity, humor, and relatability, with lively banter among the crew and listener call-ins amplifying the fun.

Key Discussion Points

1. Recapping the Kenny Chesney Concert

[01:39–05:23]

• Bert, Jeff, Melissa, Jen, and Brandy exchange stories from the recent Kenny Chesney concert at Phillips Arena, discussing the impressive turnout and the atmosphere.
• The cast jokes about the modern country crowd and the shift from the “old traditional country” vibe to a younger demographic.
• Funny stories ensue about assigned seating drama and pet peeves at large events.

Notable Quotes:

• Melissa Carter [03:41]: “It was like going to a UGA game, but everyone was dressed up… it was like 20,000 beautiful people.”
• Burt Weiss [05:23]: “I hate people who try to sit in better seats before the event begins.”

2. “Digging in When You Know You’re Right... But Aren’t”

[08:41–17:15]

• Burt recounts a tense moment at the concert over seats, where another attendee was convinced he was right—until being proved spectacularly wrong. The show invites listeners to share their own stories of sticking to their guns, only to realize they were mistaken.
• Multiple caller anecdotes are shared, including embarrassing moments of mistaken confrontation and humility.
• Hosts revisit a legendary radio story of on-stage embarrassment: a DJ hyping up the “front row” at a concert, blind to the fact that all those seats were occupied by wheelchair users.

Notable Quotes:

• Jeff Dollar [08:41]: “We’ve all been there... you realize, oh, I’m totally in the wrong here.”
• Burt Weiss [13:06]: “He goes, front row, get on your feet. And then they turn the lights on and he sees that’s where they put all the wheelchairs.”
• Jen Hobby [13:18]: “He called for the house lights... everybody in the entire venue could see he’s been yelling at people that are in wheelchairs.”

3. The “Kissing Surrogate” and Bad Kissing Stories

[20:37–35:32]

• The group discusses the rise of professional kissing coaches (or “kissing surrogates”), including the curious service of a woman who offers to teach couples better technique.
• Listeners and cast members share their “worst kiss ever” stories, ranging from overzealous tongues to saliva disasters, gum exchanges, and accidental mouth-blowing.
• The conversation explores how a single bad kiss can traumatize or change someone's impression—and sometimes, bad kissers still get married.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments:

• Jeff Dollar [21:59]: “She literally took me in her arms and dipped me like I was on Dancing with the Stars... jabbed and darted her tongue in my mouth. Even to this day, I haven’t forgotten it.”
• Brandy [22:42]: “He slobbered so much I had to go home and take a shower.”
• Caller [28:12]: “My worst kiss is my husband... we don’t even kiss anymore.”
• Brandy [33:36]: “Keep it simple... if you think you’re gonna be fancy with your kiss, nix that idea.”
• Jen Hobby [26:31]: “I think my worst is from... Eddie Marrelli… he stuck his tongue so far down my throat I think it actually played with my uvula.”
• Burt Weiss [32:35]: “Like, give it to you mouth-to-mouth transfer, or…?”

Timestamps for Segments:

• Kenny Chesney concert story: [01:39–08:41]
• Humbling moments/being proven wrong: [08:41–17:20]
• “Kissing surrogate” discussion starts: [20:37]
• Worst kiss stories & callers: [22:00–35:32]

4. "Termination Memo" Game – Office Goodbyes with a Twist

[37:59–45:07]

• The team reads out mock termination emails written for each other, spoofing the impersonal and bizarre ways workplaces announce staff departures.
• Each memo includes inside jokes relating to cast personalities, quirks, and running show gags.

Notable Quotes:

• Brandy [40:11]: “Jeff Dollar is no longer employed with The Bert Show... turns out his witty lines on air are not his own.”
• Jeff Dollar [41:28]: “Burt Weiss is no longer a part of all the hits Q100. We wish him well. If you decide to look for swinging partners for you and your wife, please do it on your own time.”
• Jen Hobby [43:04]: “Jen Hobby will no longer be employed... her eternally upbeat, ever positive nature is driving everyone in the building to jump out a window.”
• Melissa Carter [45:03]: “Her recent march for marriage on the Governor’s mansion is the straw that broke the camel’s back...”

Engaging Listener Call-ins

Throughout the episode, the show’s tone is funny but self-deprecating, with listeners encouraged to join in and amplify the theme. Callers recount cringe-worthy tales such as:

• Giving away all their money by mistake at a festival [10:02]
• Embarrassing their girlfriends by honking at a car illegally stopped at a red light [10:56]
• Dramatic but ultimately misplaced accusations in public settings [14:58]

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• Melissa Carter [03:41]: “It was like going to a UGA game, but everyone was dressed up... country’s a younger crowd now.”
• Jeff Dollar [08:41]: “We’ve all been there... that sinking feeling when you realize you’re wrong.”
• Jen Hobby [13:18]: “He called for the house lights... everybody in the entire venue could see he’s been yelling at people that are in wheelchairs.”
• Brandy [22:42]: “He slobbered... I literally had to go home and take a shower.”
• Caller [28:12]: “My worst kiss is my husband… we don’t even kiss anymore.”
• Burt Weiss [32:35]: “Like, give it to you mouth-to-mouth transfer, or...?”

Segment Timestamps (Highlights)

• Kenny Chesney Concert: [01:39–05:23]
• Awkward Concert Seat Confrontation: [05:23–09:10]
• Embarrassing Humility Stories: [09:10–17:15]
• Kissing Surrogate & Worst Kisses: [20:37–35:32]
• Mock Termination Memos: [37:59–45:07]

Recurring Themes & Original Tone

The show’s natural, self-mocking style shines as the hosts play off each other, encouraging openness about embarrassing experiences everyone can relate to. The cast and caller stories are delivered with warmth, sharp wit, and the kind of authenticity The Bert Show is known for.

Summary

This episode offers a blend of playful storytelling, listener engagement, and comical reflections on real-life blunders. The cast's chemistry and empathetic laughter make even cringeworthy moments feel like shared, cathartic fun. Fans and newcomers alike get a window into everyday mishaps, and the friendly, highly relatable tone is maintained throughout.