Full Show PT 1: Thursday, January 29 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show — Full Show PT 1: Thursday, January 29 [Vault]

Date: January 29, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Theme: Clearing the Air on Rumors, Relationship Advice, and Real Talk on Time Management

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show brings listeners into the world of morning radio, mixing humor, candid personal stories, and real-time listener interaction. The show kicks off with callers setting the record straight about false rumors swirling around their lives and transitions into a candid relationship advice segment. The latter part of the episode zeroes in on time management struggles, with Bert and the cast offering and seeking advice on juggling the demands of a busy life. Throughout, the tone is authentic, fast-paced, and filled with laughter—even in the midst of vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Clearing the Air — Listeners Tackle Rumors (00:01–08:36)

Segment Summary:
Listeners call in to use the show as a megaphone to address rumors and misconceptions, from allegations of workplace misconduct to mistaken identities as drug dealers.

• Caller 1: Lindsey and the Parking Lot Rumor (00:11–02:29)
  • Lindsey describes a rumor about her and her boyfriend engaging in inappropriate activities at work.
    • “Maybe in the Walmart parking lot next door, but not there.” — Lindsey (00:28)
  • She asserts their innocence and wonders why an anonymous letter was sent instead of directly addressing concerns.
  • Embarrassing details in the letter included alleged stains on her shirt, which she denies.
  • Bert sums up: “There’s your clarification, right?” (00:34)
• Caller 2: The Fireman Fiasco (02:39–04:26)
  • Another listener, under voice disguise, refutes rumors linking her to relationships with married firefighters in Acworth.
  • “The rumor is still going around... it was not me. It was her.” (03:33)
• Caller 3: Lighthearted Fake Name Bit (04:27–05:08)
  • A joke caller uses a fake name and voice disguiser to clear their own “not-name” in rural Georgia.
• Caller 4: Family Drug Dealer Accusation (05:08–06:01)
  • “Bud” is accused by his dad’s side of the family of being a drug dealer because he does his own thing, not working for his father.
  • “You totally are. Listen to you.” — Bert, teasingly (05:23)
• Caller 5: High School Pothead Stigma (06:10–08:36)
  • Liz shares a story of never having used drugs, but being labelled a pothead in high school due to her “hippie” look.
  • “The entire senior class has always thought you were this major pothead, and you have always had connections.” (07:03)
  • The show pokes fun and supports her declaration: “Lindsey Martin is not selling drugs in Roswell.” (08:07)

Memorable Quotes:

• “If it was that big of a deal... why would they write it anonymously?” — Lindsey (01:00)
• “I want to clear my fake name... Someone else did it.” — Joke caller (04:27)

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2. Relationship Realities — When to Move on? (08:38–17:38)

Segment Summary:
Valerie seeks advice about a recently ended relationship where her ex keeps her emotionally invested while considering another woman. The Bert Show team and male callers weigh in with frank, sometimes blunt, advice.

Story Details:

• Valerie dated her ex for seven months. He broke up citing school, football, and work complications.
• Three months later, he confessed he wants her back — but is still torn about another woman.
• She hasn't re-entered a relationship with him, but continues to hang out, feeling hopeful.

Cast & Listener Responses:

• Multiple male callers offer the same insight: Valerie’s ex is keeping her “on the string” as a fallback option or “safety net.”
• “He’s probably keeping you in the background, keeping you on that string just in case it doesn’t work out with this other girl.” — Listener Jeff (12:21)
• “You are the booty call.” — Listener Andrew (13:02)
• Valerie admits she hasn’t been intimate with him post-breakup, but feels emotionally invested.
• The cast urges her to recognize her worth and stop being an option instead of a priority.
• Mark, a caller with military experience, adds: “He’s trying to keep that going because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, and yet he’s ready to move on to something else.” (16:25)
• Consensus: Everyone agrees Valerie should walk away. If she does, the ex will likely pursue her—to the same dead end.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you want to be the booty call, then you’re the booty call. But don’t expect anything more.” — Bert (15:40)
• “It’s just going to delay the ending.” — Show member (17:30)

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3. Real Talk: Bert’s Time Management Struggle (17:43–31:56)

Segment Summary:
Bert brings a candid, personal struggle to the table: his persistent inability to manage time despite years of trying. The conversation becomes a group therapy session, with the team and callers sharing their own strategies—and frustrations.

Discussion Points:

• Bert feels like he is “failing at everything”—work, family, marriage—because he’s stretched too thin and never fully present.
  • “I can't figure out time management to save my ass.” — Bert (17:58)
• Explains a typical day as a relentless shuffle between appointments, with nothing getting quality attention.
• Team acknowledges cultural pressures to “fill every minute” and validates his feelings.
  • “Our society looks down upon any free time, you know, like, if you’re having free time or too much time on your hands, then you’re obviously not doing enough.” — Show member (19:58)
• Discussion of priorities: Everyone thinks their request should be Bert’s #1.
• A cast member observes Bert (and themselves) chronically underestimates task duration.
  • “You have an unreasonable expectation of time... That's 15 minutes. In reality, it’s 90.” — Cast Member (22:32)
• Advice flows in:
  • Practice saying “no” (29:06)
  • Schedule everything, including personal time; treat time with yourself as valuable and block it out (31:05)
  • Set clear expectations at meetings, stick to strict schedules, and delegate more
• Caller Jada offers practical advice: “Set the expectation at the beginning. ‘I have to leave at 11:30.’” (27:05)

Notable Quotes:

• “I feel like I have manipulated my schedule so many different ways that I should have been able to figure it out by now. And I just can’t.” — Bert (17:58)
• “Everybody schedules meetings... Well, you should also get into the habit of filling in those meetings with yourself.” — Show member (31:05)
• “I think I just might have got to the root of my problem.” — Bert (31:52)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Rumor Clearing Segment Begins: 00:01
• Lindsey and the Workplace Rumor: 00:11–02:29
• Acworth Fireman Rumor: 02:39–04:26
• Fake Name Bit: 04:27–05:08
• Bud, the Not-a-Drug-Dealer: 05:08–06:01
• Liz’s High School Pothead Story: 06:10–08:36
• Valerie’s on-and-off Relationship: 08:38–17:38
  • Key Male Advice Callers: 12:06–13:55
  • Drill Sergeant Perspective: 15:54–16:47
• Bert’s Time Management Struggles: 17:43–31:56
  • Team Insights: 18:21–24:58
  • Listener Strategies: 27:02–29:55

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “If it was that big of a deal... why would they write it anonymously?” — Lindsey on rumor-mongering (01:00)
• “You have an unreasonable expectation of time... That's 15 minutes. In reality, it’s 90.” — Team member diagnosing Bert’s struggle (22:32)
• “I want to clear my fake name... Someone else did it.” — Caller parodying the rumor-clearing segment (04:27)
• “You are the booty call.” — Listener Andrew, cutting to the chase (13:02)
• “I can't figure out time management to save my ass.” — Bert, summing up his overwhelmed state (17:58)
• “Everybody has to be number one. And if they’re not, they’re coming down on you.” — Bert on modern expectations (22:27)
• “Schedule meetings with yourself.” — Show member, advocating for self-prioritization (31:05)

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Tone & Language

True to its promise, The Bert Show delivers unfiltered conversation, blending humor and empathy. The hosts and cast joke easily with callers and each other (“You are the booty call.”), but offer thoughtful, sometimes vulnerable admissions about life’s messiness. The language is conversational and direct, making for a fast-paced and relatable listen.

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Conclusion

In this episode, The Bert Show proves its popularity by offering laughter and camaraderie alongside genuinely helpful advice. Listeners get validation for common struggles—whether fending off workplace gossip, navigating emotionally complex relationships, or facing down time-management overwhelm. The episode is equal parts funny, relatable, and supportive—a true morning radio comfort show.

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Transcript

[Burt]

The Burt Show.

[Jeff]

If there's a rumor going on around you and you know it's out there, but it's too big for you to touch everybody, you call us. We put it out right now. Okay, Lindsey, go ahead, use us. Let us help you.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Jeff]

All right. So there's a rumor swirling about you right now, and you need to clear the air.

[Caller]

Well, it's just.

I mean, there was a letter that was written to my work, to all my human resources, and to all my big bosses and stuff, saying that me and my boyfriend were doing dirty, nasty things in the parking lot.

[Burt]

And were you?

[Caller]

That we know, God knows, maybe in the Walmart parking lot next door, but not there.

[Burt]

I mean, there's your clarification, right?

[Jeff]

You gotta be in the mood, right?

[Co-host]

But I mean, Walmart. That'll do.

[Caller]

Was next door. You know, we were trying to keep our relationships quiet just for that reason, because we weren't trying to let everybody know because what everybody at work knows. It's just like high school.

[Co-host]

Mm.

[Caller]

Rumor gets around and it starts ruining your relationship. So we were trying to keep our relationship on the down low. And yeah, somebody wrote an anonymous letter, and if, you know, if it really was that big of a deal saying they were offended, then why would they write it anonymously? Why don't they just come out and let everybody know who it was?

[Jeff]

So are you saying. So you're saying now that it's absolutely false and there was nothing going on between.

[Caller]

Oh, I mean, there's stuff going on as my boyfriend, but not in the Lexus parking lot. You know, we would never do anything.

He's.

He's very respected at that. At the dealership, and nobody would ever. He would never let anything like that happen. And I wouldn't let anything like that happen. I just started the job there. And so I'm not, you know, I'm not trying to make a bad name for myself as it is, much less for him.

[Burt]

But you did go next door to the Walmart.

[Caller]

We never did anything in the Walmart parking lot. We maybe kissed a little bit, but, I mean, I'm not a public. I don't like display of affection publicly anyway.

[Burt]

Even in a Walmart parking lot, it's hard to resist.

[Caller]

Not even in the Walmart parking lot.

[Jeff]

There's a weird gravitational pull.

[Caller]

Do what?

[Jeff]

There's a weird gravitational pull as soon as you pull into that parking lot at the Walmart and you have to fight it, you got to fight it.

[Caller]

We had our spot we'd meet up at, but yeah, the Letter said stuff like I would come back from lunch with stains on my shirt and said in parentheses something about yummy, yummy. And, yeah, it was extremely embarrassing. And then there was more than just me and him called into the office because there were other people's names involved.

[Jeff]

Okay, so you want to publicly let everybody at Lexus know. Look, stop talking right now. That me and the boyfriend weren't doing anything in the parking lot.

[Caller]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

They now know.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Co-host]

All right, your name has been cleared. Do what says your name has been cleared.

[Caller]

Aw, thanks, you guys.

[Jeff]

Bye. Bye.

[Co-host]

Yummy stained shirt. Yummy, yummy.

[Jeff]

I love this segment. Jill, good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller]

Good morning.

Can I have the voice disguiser, please?

[Jeff]

Yes, you may.

[Burt]

Joe, you need a fake name.

[Jeff]

Okay. All right, you're on the voices, guys.

[Burt]

Perfect.

[Caller]

Okay. There. A couple years ago, a friend of mine and I, you know, we hung out a lot, and she actually owns a shop, hairdressing shop in Acworth. And she used to go around and hang around with Cobb county firemen and sleep around with them, also married ones. Well, the rumor got around that it was me because she was trying to be all innocent. And I'm here to say. And believe it or not, the rumor is still going around. It's been a couple years now, but I'm here to say that it was not me. It was her. And the Cobb county fireman who was involved with this knows who I'm talking about.

[Jeff]

Well, if you're trying to clear your name, how. It doesn't do you much good to be on the voice disguiser and use a fake name then, does it?

[Caller]

Well, I knew that you were gonna say that, but Acworth is so small that there's. I mean, I just don't want to get it all started again.

[Burt]

All right, so this mystery person did not sleep with a firefighter.

[Caller]

Correct. None of them had nothing to do with them. The other person did. All of the.

[Burt]

The other person slept with the firefighter. Thank you for clearing that up.

[Jeff]

Well, what if people think it's one firefighter, though?

[Caller]

It was. It was. You know, not at the same time, but it was just. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Well, don't you think that a lot of people will believe that it's the other person that really was doing the sleeping around is now on the voice disguiser using a fake name?

[Caller]

Actually not. No, because they know. They know.

[Burt]

They know, Bert.

[Jeff]

Okay. If you're in the know now, you know.

[Caller]

All right, thanks so much, guys.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Caller]

All right, bye. Bye.

[Burt]

I would like to Clear my fake name. If nobody minds, I'd like to use your airwaves. My not name is Jim, and my fake name is Jesse. Please put me on the voice disguiser. I would like everyone to know I did not do what I've been accused of doing. Someone else did it. I can't go into detail about what was done. All I can say is north Georgia is a small place.

[Jeff]

Thank you. You're clear.

[Burt]

And it was the other party. It was totally consensual. I'm not saying what it was, where we were, or when, but I didn't do it. Someone else did.

[Jeff]

Good morning, bud. You're on Q100.

[Burt]

Named John Doe.

[Co-host]

He was in the library with the. Kenneth.

[Caller]

What's up, bud?

Hey. I just want to let my. My whole family on my dad's side know that I'm not the drug dealer they think I am, so.

[Burt]

Dude, you totally are. Listen to you.

[Jeff]

Well, he's just. He's dealing different drugs than they think he is. All right, so how did this whole rumor get started with you?

[Caller]

I don't know. I guess I'm just the black sheep that's outside the family. And, you know, I don't work for my dad. I just kind of do my own thing, you know, I work for myself. And everybody just feels like, you know, if I ain't doing what they think I should be doing, I'm doing something wrong.

[Jeff]

So you've never dealt drugs before, and you want everybody in the house to know that?

[Caller]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

Okay. What's your name?

[Caller]

Bud.

[Jeff]

Okay, bud.

[Burt]

Hey, bud.

[Jeff]

All right. Your name has been cleared.

[Co-host]

All right.

[Caller]

Appreciate it.

[Jeff]

Bye. Bye. Morning to 100 this. There's a reoccurring theme going on now. Hey, Liz.

[Caller]

Apparently, when I was in. I was actually at a restaurant the other night, and somebody they went to high school with walked up to me, and they were saying. They were like, hey, you know, what's going on? We were, like, catching up or whatever, and. And he looks at me and he goes, so, you know, are you still dealing? And I was like, dealing what? He's like, you know, like, do you still smoke? And I was like, I've never smoked a day in my life. Smoke what? And, like, I'm totally naive because I've never done anything.

I don't eat.

Like, I don't even drink. And so he was like, you know, like.

Like.

Like buzz. Like, you know, do you still not. I'm like. I was like, whoa, where'd you get that from? He's like, are you kidding me? He's like, in high school, you, like, you always dressed like a hippie. And in college, you kind of, you know, had that bohemian look. He's like, every knows that you used to deal. And I was like, just because I dressed that way means that I feel drugs. And it, like, became this thing. And I was like, are you kidding? I was like, who thinks that? They were like, the entire senior class of high school has always thought that you were, like, this major pothead, and you have always had connections. And I was like, sorry to break it to you, friend, but I don't.

[Jeff]

So did anybody ever come up to you going, hey, I know you got the good stuff. Can I.

[Caller]

Actually, in college, it happened to me. I was on my way to English class, and I kind of, like, passed it off like, oh, I must not be the person you think I am, because I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm, like, the most innocent person on the planet, but I've never touched it. So I'm so naive to all of that. I'm 26 years old, so I'm just kind of like, huh, Smoke what? I've never smoked cigarettes. And he's like, no. Like, you know, like the good stuff. And I'm like, no.

[Jeff]

So specifically, what community do you want to know that you have never dealt drugs?

[Caller]

Roswell.

[Jeff]

Roswell. All right.

[Co-host]

It's so crazy that followed her college.

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Lindsay, I think in a case like this, if you wanted to use your last name, you sure could do would be. I want Roswell to know that Lindsay Blank.

[Caller]

Lindsey Martin.

[Jeff]

Lindsey Martin is not selling drugs in Roswell.

[Co-host]

She's never done drugs.

[Burt]

So Lindsay Martin's not selling drugs, and we're also supposed to believe the same thing about the guy named Bud.

[Jeff]

Her name has now been cleared. So in Roswell, just know if you're going Lindsay. For the kind bud, she doesn't have it. It's just not gonna happen.

[Co-host]

She's never done it.

[Jeff]

Never done it.

[Co-host]

She just dresses that way.

[Jeff]

Just a hick.

[Burt]

She needs a T shirt. I'm not a pothead. Dress like one. The Birch Show.

[Jeff]

I think the problem here is this. When you're a woman and you're looking for advice and you're going to other women, I think that's a bad move right there.

[Co-host]

Sometimes we need guy translators. Like, what does this behavior really mean? Like, he's not saying anything here. So the absence of words means what? Or he's actually said this, this, and this. Translate that into girl speak.

[Jeff]

Like, you can't Possibly dumb it down enough to give advice like a guy. And we can't possibly make it complicated enough to give advice like a woman.

[Co-host]

That's true.

[Jeff]

We just can't. So we're gonna put Valerie on the voice disguiser here, and I'm gonna open up the phones just for guys. Cause we're gonna try to get into her boyfriend's head here just a little bit. Hey, Valerie, you're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Jeff]

Hey. What's happening?

[Caller]

He's actually not my boyfriend right now.

[Jeff]

Okay, when did that stop?

[Caller]

About five months ago.

[Jeff]

Okay, give us the whole story here.

[Caller]

We dated for a while. He broke up with me and came back three months later and says he wants me back, but also doesn't know because he has feelings for another girl at the same time and has been trying to make this decision for a couple months now and just hasn't gotten anywhere.

[Jeff]

All right, we're fast forwarding a little bit too much here.

[Co-host]

How long did y' all date initially?

[Caller]

Around seven months.

[Jeff]

Okay, seven months. And then who broke up with who?

[Caller]

He broke up with me.

[Jeff]

And then how many months go by before he. He calls you back saying, that was a stupid thing I just did?

[Caller]

Around three.

[Jeff]

Three months. Okay. And then you guys start dating exclusively?

[Caller]

No, we haven't even gone back out. He's just saying that he possibly wants to get back together and stuff like that, but he's.

[Co-host]

He's leaving the door open for her to be hopeful that they could get back together. And you're in love with him.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Jeff]

And he's telling you that he's. That he's interested in another woman also.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Co-host]

And you're tempted to go back?

Well, you've been waiting all this time.

[Caller]

Exactly.

[Jeff]

Okay, well, let's hear from guys. 404-741. Q100.

[Burt]

A little obvious.

[Jeff]

I don't think this is going to take long.

[Co-host]

Yeah, yeah. I said off air. I said, so what you're telling me is that you are trying to decide between me and another woman? And then I said, you know what? I can make that decision easy for you, but you want to go back.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Not necessarily even asking for resolution. She's just like, tell me what he's thinking. Okay, so the basic facts are this. They go out for seven months. He breaks up with her. For what reason, by the way?

[Caller]

School. Football. We actually work together.

[Jeff]

Football.

[Caller]

Football, yeah.

[Co-host]

School and football.

[Caller]

And we worked together, and people were getting involved.

[Jeff]

It was just too complicated. He needed. We didn't. He didn't have time to dedicate to the relationship. Is that it?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

So he bails on you. Couple of months go by, then he starts calling back, going, that was ridiculous. We got to make this work. However, I also got this other girl that I'm kind of seeing also, and, man, I just can't make a decision on who I want to see. Is that about right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Co-host]

I don't mean to lie. I know this is your. And I know that it's a hurt you, but.

[Burt]

And what do you. What do you really like? You really don't. You really. Really needing advice on this? Like, you really don't know?

[Caller]

Yeah, like, I would love to just cut him out of my life and go on, but he's in our group of friends. I work with him, stuff like that. So.

[Jeff]

Listener. Jeff, what's going on?

[Caller]

Hey, I was gonna say, what kind.

Of relationship is she having with him right now? I mean, is. Is she. Is she still kind of going out and doing stuff with him?

We hang out. Yeah.

All right. He's probably keeping background, keeping you on that string just in case it doesn't work out with this other girl. He has something to come back to.

[Jeff]

So he. She is sort of the safety net. So if it doesn't work out with the other girl, then he for sure will say, I want to go with you.

[Caller]

Yeah, maybe not even a safety net. Maybe. Just maybe. Just so he could. He could always have that option in case he changes his mind. Bottom line is, he doesn't know what he wants. He should move on.

[Jeff]

Andrew, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, question.

Does Mike Tyson and Bill Bellamy come to Murray? I said this guy is holding her around for a booty call.

As simple as that.

He still loves her and he wants her back, but he's still in love with another woman.

This sounds like.

This sounds like one of those jokes that you hear on the back of a milk carton or something. It's simple.

She should know this right off the bat.

[Co-host]

Valerie, sometimes we try to. We complicate it too much, and we need guy advice like that. Like what? He just said. You have to really listen to that. Valerie. He said, you are the booty call.

[Jeff]

Are you still intimate with this guy?

[Caller]

No.

[Co-host]

Okay, come on.

[Burt]

When's the last time you guys were naked together? And don't lie.

[Caller]

I don't even know you're lying.

[Jeff]

Yeah, you do.

[Caller]

I'm not lying.

[Burt]

Yes, you are.

[Co-host]

When was the last time you kissed him?

[Caller]

Two weeks before we broke up around there.

[Co-host]

Two weeks before you broke up so.

[Jeff]

Months ago is what you're saying?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Good morning, Q100.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Jeff]

What's up, Matt?

[Co-host]

Hey.

[Caller]

Have you guys been intimate before?

Valerie?

Yes, kind of.

Okay, well, that's all he's wanting. He ain't been laid in three months.

He's just wanting sex.

No, we never slept together.

Okay, well, he hasn't had whatever you've given him in three months. He's just wanting that.

[Jeff]

All right. And I think you're pretty much gonna hear the same thing over and over again. That's why this is not gonna take long. Tim, go ahead.

[Caller]

Hey. Yeah.

Everybody is exactly right. Here he is holding you on the side in case something happens between him and his current.

[Jeff]

And that's it, Game's over. You're the booty call. Or it's still so open ended with the other girl that he wants you as the safety net. That's it.

[Caller]

All right.

[Co-host]

Does it make it more real? All right, I was just going to say, does it make it more real to hear it from guys?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Burt]

You're not gonna change anything, are you?

[Caller]

No, I am.

[Burt]

No, you're not. Calls back in a week, you're still gonna be waiting for this guy. It's okay. Nobody changes, Jeff.

[Co-host]

It's different. Because they're in love. Come on.

[Jeff]

Just the suggestion to you is so disrespectful. You know, like I wanna get back to you. With you, however, there's this other girl that I'm sort of into also, so I can't really commit to you. Let's see how it all plays out. It's so disrespectful. Like he's not telling you you're number one.

[Caller]

Yeah, I have friends telling me the same thing, but I. I don't know. I don't want to believe them, so.

[Co-host]

Well now, so.

[Burt]

But you're gonna believe us?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

You've been get. I don't think she will. I agree with you, Jeff.

[Jeff]

I think she will.

[Co-host]

I think that you have the full knowledge now. So the decision you make, you cannot say I was stupid. Everybody's telling you exactly how it is. So if you want to be the booty call, then you're the booty call. But don't expect anything more.

[Jeff]

I do want to put Mark on because he says we're giving her awful advice and we're all wrong.

[Co-host]

Really?

[Jeff]

Mark, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning, Bert. We need to ask her a quick question. How old is she and how old is the guy?

I'm in my early 20s, and he's a couple years younger.

Exactly.

Okay.

Due to my extensive experience with young people being a soldier, I can tell you what happens is this.

[Co-host]

Got a soldier voice.

[Jeff]

You do have a drill sergeant.

[Co-host]

Yeah, you sure do.

[Jeff]

You will listen to my advice, and you will take it.

[Co-host]

I'm about to drop.

[Caller]

Yeah, actually, I'm the drill sergeant guy that recorded that clip for you. The fact that you did the first big.

[Co-host]

Cool.

[Caller]

Thank you.

What happens is when you get young people that build a relationship, and since they haven't gotten busy, basically what happens is the guy is in that emotional transition where he's kind of stuck on her, but he's not really matured to the point where he can cut a relationship. So he's trying to keep that going because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, and yet he's ready to move on to something else.

[Jeff]

So either way, the bottom line is she's not number one.

[Caller]

And, oh, yeah, she needs to split. It's done.

[Co-host]

You gotta listen to the drill sergeant.

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

Make you do 50 if you don't, man. I mean, everybody's saying the same thing, right? So I don't know. I don't know that we gotta spend any more time on that.

[Caller]

All right?

[Co-host]

Now, is it possible if she drops him right now like a bad habit, that he could freak out and start and come back?

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Burt]

He probably will.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host]

How long till she gives in on that?

[Jeff]

If you just know this. If you do, like, make that power play and you go, look, I don't want any part of this. He's going to make full court press for you. I mean, he's going to pressure you hard, and you're probably going to fall for it, and you'll go, okay, you know what? He has seen my ways. And you guys will go out for four weeks, and then the other chick will be back.

[Co-host]

It'll end the same. It's just going to. One's going to delay the ending.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Co-host]

Good luck.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Burt]

The bird show.

[Jeff]

I want to keep it real with you guys here for a couple of minutes, and I'm actually asking for advice for you guys, okay? And I'm not even sure that anybody has figured it out, but if you have, please help me, because I can't.

[Co-host]

Okay?

[Jeff]

404741. Q100, y'.

[Burt]

All.

[Co-host]

I just can't.

[Jeff]

I. I can't figure out time management to save my ass, okay? And this has been, like, a reoccurring theme going on for me for who knows how long? And I think I feel like I have manipulated my schedule so many different ways that I should have been able to figure it out by now. And I just can't. I just can't. Like, I feel across the board right now I am failing at everything in.

[Co-host]

My life just spread too thin. Or you just mind is always jumping from one task to the other, but not really ever accomplishing a whole project or.

[Jeff]

Yeah. My day, it feels like to me, is a series of appointments being rushed to. From one to the other and never really giving too much attention to one thing. So everything's getting done, but it's just not getting done in a quality way. And it's so stressful throughout the entire day. Like, I don't really feel like I'm enjoying life, you know, like, we got meetings at 10:30. I kind of feel like I rush through those because I have a meeting with a salesperson at 11:15 or. And then at 11:15, getting to the gym at 2 is always on my mind. So I know that I only have a half an hour for that meeting. And then coming back home and doing show prep on the show, then to the gym, and then after the gym, there's more meetings or phone calls or whatever. It just always seems like I can't get caught up in anything. And it feels like I'm not good at anything anymore. Like, I don't feel like I'm good at this job anymore. I don't feel like I'm a good father. I don't feel like I'm a good husband right now. And I have zero idea, no idea how to break out of it.

[Co-host]

I think that contain it. Yeah, I have no idea, y'.

[Jeff]

All. And usually when there's a problem, you know. Cause I'm a. I'm a pretty big proponent of just switch the routine a little bit. You gotta try different things if what you're currently trying isn't working. And I feel like it has been a lifelong mission to figure out different ways to manipulate my life in order for me to get some happiness out of it and for me to be able to work some time to where I'm enjoying the things that are going on around me. And I can't figure it out.

[Co-host]

I. You know, I do think that. That you probably get plenty of advice, because I think most people feel that way. Because I do believe our society, I mean, looks down upon any free time, you know, like, if you're having free time or too much time on your hands, then you're obviously not doing enough And I think that, you know, it's common for when you feel, like Jen said, you're stretched then for you to feel like I'm not good at anything, you know, because you're not getting fulfillment out of things because you're just trying to check something off your to do list. And so, you know, it's not that it is true that you're not good at this job and that you're not a good father and not a good husband, but it's just if you're so worn down, then how else are you going to feel?

[Jeff]

You know, it's not even. See, to me, it's not even a matter of time for myself. I mean, I just took a week where I was with myself. You know, as far as vacation goes, I got that covered. And when I'm on vacation, I am with the family or I am with myself. So I don't think that's the problem. The problem is the day to day. Like, I don't understand where is everybody finding the time? Like, where are you guys finding time to have friendships? Where are you having. I can't think of the last time that somebody was happy with the relationship that I'm in. Like, my mom is complaining now because I'm not in touch with her. My wife is demanding more time. My kids don't ask for the time. But I can certainly see when they're checking out and they're not as close to pop. You know, as I said with work, I just feel like I'm not completing everything that I'm not on top of, everything that I should be on top of. And I just feel like a failure across the board.

[Co-host]

It's one of those things where it's like the. It's like the waves are crashing over you now and you can't stop them. You know how like you can get caught in an undertow? Like the analogy of that. Have you ever been caught in an undertow?

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Co-host]

I grew up in Florida, so I'm like a beach kid. And that's like, you know, it just pulls you under and pulls you under and pulls you under and you can't seem to get yourself back up. You just gotta sort of halt everything, get your head out of the water and then reprioritize, you know? Cause it sounds like to me like maybe with the work stuff, there's like things that you could delegate and maybe things that you could just say, you start saying no to, you know, because there are some things you can. Some things you can't but you can't do it all, you know, you have to.

[Jeff]

I don't know. There's no such thing as prioritizing. It doesn't feel like to me, because everybody feels like the thing that they've asked you to do is the most important thing.

[Co-host]

Of course.

[Jeff]

So if, if they're ninth on your to do list and you don't get to it, the first thing you get the next morning is a complaint from somebody that you didn't get back to an email from them from 24 hours before then.

[Co-host]

Right.

[Jeff]

Everybody has to be number one. And if they're not, they're coming down on you.

[Co-host]

But you have to decide who's number one.

[Burt]

You have an unreasonable expectation of time. Like, you don't, you have an unreasonable awareness of time. Like, I don't think you ever properly think of how long it takes to accomplish something. And I, I know you do it with like Tracy and I and interns and other people at the radio station, and I almost guarantee you do it yourself. To yourself, you mean.

[Jeff]

So I'm looking at projects thinking it won't take nearly as much time as it does.

[Burt]

That's 15 minutes. In reality, it's 90.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

So you stack up six 15 minute projects and you do it like, you do it to everybody around you. Like, Tracy's aware of it, I'm aware of it. Everyone in this building is aware of it. And I guarantee you do it to yourself. Where you think, you think, you know what? I'm gonna answer my email. It's gonna take me 30 minutes. Well, you know what? It takes two and a half hours because you got to respond back to people. So you think, all right, so I'm gonna answer my email. It's gonna take me 30 minutes. And I'm gonna do this. Then I'm gonna do this. Then I'm gonna hang out with Hollis and Hayden. We're gonna go sit in the backyard and have a picnic. Well, by the time you get done with your email that you thought was gonna take two hours, the sun setting.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And then you start to feel like you're a failure. Like you, you have to readjust like your awareness of time.

[Jeff]

So it's almost like.

[Co-host]

Or how much you wanna accomplish within certain amounts of time.

[Jeff]

So if it's almost like, if it's realistically gonna take an hour to answer emails.

[Burt]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Should I just say after 20 minutes I'm done?

[Burt]

No, I think what you should do is you should decide if you're gonna answer email. I don't know how to fix it, because it's a weird thing. Like, I can better relate it to something that you would ask Tracy or I to do, or you would ask somebody in the building to do. And I could go back through my email, but where you're like, hey, we should do this and this. And then, because your classic response is, if we come back, go. That's. There's just no time. Like, what are you talking about? That's shooting off three emails and it takes 15 minutes. Well, it takes 15 minutes to find the contact person. It takes 10 minutes to write the email. Then you have to shoot it off. Then they're going to respond with 10 questions. Then you have to respond to that, which takes 30 minutes. Now, this might be spread out over two weeks, but in your mind it's a 10 minute project.

[Jeff]

Sure.

[Burt]

Just shoot three emails off to, you know, Jeff Probst and have him, you know, come down and co host the show for a week. Like that's how it processes. Just, just an email. But the reality is the work that goes into finding the email address, tracking it down, and I, I guarantee you, you do that to yourself.

[Co-host]

Oh, yeah. And then you're disappointed in yourself when it doesn't take you just 30 minutes to get through email and you're rushed 30 minutes in and you're like, I've only answered five of them. And so then you're disappointed in yourself. And then it's like, sort of like gets that ball rolling, you know, like that, that ocean wave that.

[Burt]

You know what, I think there's probably.

[Jeff]

More to it than that. Also, like, I was just reading and I blogged about this, that the average parent spends 15 minutes with each other before bedtime. Fifteen minutes. That's the only connection time parents have with each other. And that's at the end of the day. And I'm really sensitive to this right now with Stacy. And it's at the end of the day when it's, it's the crumbs of the day, you got nothing left. Right. And most people are getting 15 minutes a day in their marriage to connect with their, their spouses.

[Burt]

You know what they tell people who work for themselves to do is, which is kind of what you do. You know what I mean? Like, you're, it's, this is a very independent job. Like, we all work independently of an immediate supervisor, so we're all kind of working for ourselves. And they tell people who work for themselves to write out a schedule. And that's what you do. So, like, you know, you do the show until 10. And then you hang out till 10:30. Right. You have your lunch till 10:30. Lunch break. Sounds weird to say lunch break at 10, but keep in mind our schedule. So we have a lunch break till 10:30. So like, our meeting is today, 10:30 to 11. And you write that down ahead of time. And then you say, okay, I've got 45 minutes to answer emails. And you get to what you can get to.

[Jeff]

But then if you don't get to.

[Burt]

All of them, you don't have to. You say, I'm sorry, I didn't have. I didn't have time. And you also, you're notorious for this too. You answer the emails. That can be answered quickly.

[Jeff]

Yes, because my mind is already on the other project.

[Burt]

Right. But like, you go through your emails and if it takes.

[Jeff]

You're guilty of that too, by the way.

[Burt]

Totally. And if that's how I know you are, because you go through your emails and you're like, I only have 45 minutes. And then you're like, hey, can you send me the ratings for spring of last year? I'm like, tomorrow I can click next. And then it's like, what's your middle name? No problem.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jada, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Caller]

Hey.

For me, it's a matter of mindset. It has a lot to do with.

What Jeff was just saying. You say, okay, I have this half an hour for the meeting and you set the expectation at the beginning. I have to leave at 11:30. And then you are there for the next half hour and you let everything else go for that next half hour because you know that's where you are and you know what you have next.

[Co-host]

That's a good idea. It's like really focus in that half hour.

[Jeff]

So you got a schedule. So you. And you let the people know, like right in the front end of your meeting. Look, we have till 11:30 and then that's it. Then you take off. So if business isn't done at 11:30, then what? Then it's an email.

[Caller]

Then you say. Then you say at 11:25, you're like, we know this is going to take longer. Let's set up a time to follow up. Or we can follow up with email. I still have to be gone by 11:30. What are our next steps? I have to leave.

[Burt]

Yeah, that's good.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Co-host]

That's really good.

[Jeff]

It's really good.

[Co-host]

Really good. And it's really.

[Jeff]

Sorry, Anna. You're going to be the first one. I use that on there.

[Burt]

And it's going to be practical. It's going to be a seven minute meeting. Two minutes into it. All right, guys, five minutes. I gotta go. Jeff told me to schedule emails from 11, 15 to 12.

[Co-host]

You know what, It's a different society now because I remember with my parents, like, people who called our house after 6 o' clock in the evening, like, it was weird for people to call us after dinner because it was known that that was when they were home relaxing with their family. So, you know, and I mentioned that to Kati not too long ago when people keep calling us at 8, 9, even 10. And it's like, you know what? It is odd for me because the way I grew up, it was after 6 o'.

[Burt]

Clock.

[Co-host]

I mean, there had to be a special reason for somebody to call any of us because we were hanging out together.

[Burt]

The phone rang in the evening, like while we were watching our show.

[Co-host]

Somebody is dead.

[Burt]

Like, we would all look at each other like, who's calling?

[Co-host]

Yeah. And that's just not the case nowadays.

[Burt]

Obviously, until I became like a teenager and had friends and girls calling and stuff like that. But like, before then, I remember sitting around at like 10 years old and the phone would ring and be like, everybody's panicking. What is that? Somebody's dying. Oh, my God. If somebody. And if somebody knocked on the door after dark.

[Co-host]

Oh, that was Weir.

[Burt]

Dad was loading a shotgun.

[Jeff]

Hey, Patty, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

Good morning.

[Caller]

My best advice to you is to learn how to say no.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Caller]

You have got to be able to do that and internalize it and be in the moment, just like they said.

[Co-host]

It's so hard to do. And I think, Bert, you especially get pulled in a lot of different directions. But at the same time, I think it's managing other people's expectations of your time. You know, if someone says, I need you to come to, like, for example, like, I know what you're talking about. It's going on like, behind the scenes. Like, I want you to come to a brainstorming meeting about blah project. You can just say, listen, I can't be there. I'm sorry, no, I don't have time in the schedule. Let me know what you come up with. And so the other people have the responsibility for brainstorming and presenting you with, hey, we need two ideas. Here's eight. You want to pick two. That work for you?

[Jeff]

Okay, now that. That part would work for me. The only part I don't like about that is you got all these people coming up with ideas, and if they present them to me and I don't like them, then if I was on there, and I'd be like, we just spent three hours in a meeting coming up with these ideas. And it took him 60 seconds to shoot it down. Screw him.

[Co-host]

But you're not a mind reader. You can't read their mind. You just do what's best for you.

[Burt]

But I don't think. I do think you have an obligation. If it affects you, that's a priority. Like, you go to that meeting, like the meeting that we're talking, the brainstorming meeting today. Like, you go to it, and you go to it for 45 minutes. And, you know, 30 minutes into it, you say, okay, we gotta walk out of here with a couple ideas. Cause I'm leaving a fifth. I gotta leave in 15 minutes. And I wanna. I wanna make sure we wrap this up for everybody who's in the room. You know what I mean? And you do it and you just.

[Co-host]

But I don't know. I do think that people have to be better prepared for, like, coming to the table to Bert with a blank slate and say, let's come up with some things I think is unrealistic. Like, I think people need to be, like, more prepared before coming into it.

[Jeff]

And this is not just a me thing here. I think we're just talking about a time crunch with everybody. Like, everybody is stressed out about one thing or the other. You don't have to be the supervisor. You could be the employee. Everybody just seems like nobody has enough time to do the things that they really want to do.

[Burt]

Go ahead.

[Co-host]

I think that you also. Everybody schedules meetings, and everybody schedules this, and they look at their calendars blank. They fill it in. Well, you should also get into the habit of filling in those meetings with yourself. Like, there's no reason why you can't schedule. You may take somebody, look, I got a meeting, or, look, I don't have time on my schedule. Well, why can't that portion of your schedule be for you, be about you? Whether it be, you know, whatever it is that fulfills you at the moment, whether it be for 30 minutes or an hour. There's no reason you can't schedule something for yourself in that time and say, yeah, you know what? I've already got something. I've got an appointment at that time. But maybe we can reschedule for. And make that appointment about you. Don't blame me. I blackout stuff out for me on.

[Burt]

My schedule from 11am to usually 8pm is personal time. I block it out. So if somebody asks for me during that time, I'm like, no, I'm in a meeting. But it's a meeting with myself.

[Jeff]

I think I just might have got to the root of my problem.

[Burt]

The Burt Show.