Full Show PT 1: Thursday, July 30 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show: Full Show PT 1 – Thursday, July 30 [Vault] (Aired: July 30, 2026)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show blends signature humor and authenticity as the team covers everything from the secrets of reality TV editing, charitable competitions, and nostalgic summer crushes, to an insightful author interview and a fan-favorite trivia challenge. With hosts Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and an ensemble of guests, the morning unfolds with candid celebrity talk, personal anecdotes, and community involvement—delivering both laughs and moments of realness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reality TV Realness with Wendy and Sheree from Real Housewives

• Behind the Scenes of Filming:
  • Wendy confirms a new season is underway and that the cast includes all returning members plus a couple of new faces (01:11–02:38).
  • Discussion addresses how reality TV editing shapes personalities: “People don’t realize it’s TV and it’s for entertainment... Is that part of me? Absolutely. Is that me every day? No.” —Wendy (03:11).
• Navigating Fame and the Public Eye:
  • Wendy shares about being recognized nearly everywhere, not just Atlanta but even places like Jamaica and L.A. (02:49–03:00).
  • She explains the pressure and misconceptions from being a TV “character”.
• Advice for Reality TV Newbies:
  • Wendy’s advice: “You have to be comfortable with who you are... As long as your family and friends know who you are, it doesn’t matter.” (04:55–05:23)
  • Warns against reading blogs because of the negativity and the impact on family, especially kids old enough to read (05:33–06:43).

2. Charity Dance-Off: Dancing Stars of Atlanta

• The Charity Event: Sheree and Wendy are participating, competing in a “Dancing with the Stars”–style competition benefitting the Alzheimer’s Association. Both claim to be “at the bottom” in fundraising standings—bonding over their shared struggles and poking fun at each other (07:47–10:01).
• Event Details:
  • Sunday, May 16 at the Foundry at Puritan Mill.
  • Voting for the People's Choice award is tied to donations ($1 = 1 vote). Both hosts encourage listeners to support the cause (09:15–10:50).
• Competitive Banter:
  • “You guys are bonded by how crappy your dance is.” —Bert (09:52)
• A Rival Calls In: Joanne, another participant, calls to challenge the ladies, boasting of her $8,000 raised and offering fundraising help. (11:11–12:08)

3. Nostalgic Camp Crush: The Search for “Lacey”

• Intern Brandon’s Story: Shares a sweet, awkward tale from summer camp in 1998—a crush on a girl named Lacey (13:34–15:58).
• Surprising Connections:
  • Intern Leah recognizes the girl; listeners and another caller confirm her likely identity as “Lacey Smith” from Brookwood High School, whose family owned a car dealership (16:14–18:42).
  • The team brainstorms ways to track her down, adding playful, supportive commentary: “Your job is done here, honey.” —Emily Giffen to Leah on her detective work (17:52).
• What Made Lacey Special?: The team teases Brandon, but he describes the crush as a small, formative experience that even his family hasn’t forgotten (19:41–20:16).

4. Feature Author Interview: Emily Giffen

• Book Life and Writing Process:
  • Emily Giffen, bestselling author, talks about writing on the complexities of relationships—female friendships, romance, and family (22:20–22:36).
  • “I want to appeal to women and men, men who feel comfortable enough in their manhood to crack the pastel books”—Emily Giffen (23:21).
• Connections to Readers & Movie Adaptations:
  • Emily shares fan stories, including meeting readers in airports and occasionally approaching them (24:03–24:39).
  • On responding to reviews: “I don’t read Amazon reviews anymore from the individual readers because I just get too worked up. I do read the ones in the media.”—Emily Giffen (24:49).
  • Upcoming film adaptation: “Something Borrowed” is being made into a movie starring Kate Hudson and Jennifer Goodwin, with “Something Blue” as a follow-up (28:28–29:29).
  • Advice for aspiring writers: Rejection is universal, but persistence is key—she keeps a “they all rejected it” email as motivation (27:14–28:06).
• Event Plug: Emily’s new book “Heart of the Matter” with a signing at Borders in Buckhead, May 21 at 7:30 PM (30:09–30:26).

5. All-or-Nothing Hollywood Trivia (Celebrity “Worst in Bed” List)

• The Game: Listeners compete to guess which five male celebs are considered “the worst in bed,” with escalating prize packages (30:35–31:59).
• Final Winners:
  • After rounds of hilarious near-misses (multiple listeners getting 3-4 out of 5), April wins with the full correct list:
    • Jesse James
    • Brody Jenner
    • 50 Cent
    • Russell Brand
    • Colin Farrell (33:04–34:25)
  • “Who's better than fuck on tape now, woman?” —Guest 2, celebrating April’s win (34:09)
• Prize Recap: Includes passes to spa, concerts (Green Day, OAR, Train), and a $50 restaurant voucher.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Reality TV Editing:
  • "People don’t realize it’s TV and it’s for entertainment... Is that part of me? Absolutely. Is that me every day? No." —Wendy (03:11)
  • "Never read the blogs." —Wendy on handling negativity (05:33)
• Charity Rivalry:
  • "You guys are bonded by how crappy your dance is." —Bert (09:52)
  • "I am so not the morning person, but thank you." —Wendy (12:25)
• Intern Detectives:
  • “Your job is done here, honey.” —Emily Giffen to intern Leah after identifying Lacey (17:52)
  • “It has to be destiny or just weird twist of fate.” —Brandon, on Leah’s connection (19:32)
• Emily Giffen on Writing:
  • “It’s a war of wills, I think, to a large extent. So for the writers out there, just don’t give up, keep doing it.”—Emily Giffen (27:14)
  • “They all rejected it and nothing else.” —Emily Giffen, quoting her rejection email (28:06)
  • “I always ask, do you have a Darcy in your life?... It’s just practically 100%.”—Emily Giffen (26:08)
• Playful Show Banter:
  • “You’re the Kim Zolciak.” —Emily Giffen/Christian to Bert, ribbing his potential reality TV casting (13:05)
  • “Who’s better than fuck on tape now, woman?” —Guest 2, after the trivia win (34:09)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• (01:11–06:43) – Wendy on Real Housewives, fame, and handling negativity
• (07:47–12:33) – Dancing Stars of Atlanta charity competition
• (13:34–20:16) – Intern Brandon’s summer camp crush, and tracking Lacey
• (21:30–30:30) – Interview with author Emily Giffen
• (30:35–34:25) – All-or-Nothing Hollywood “Worst in Bed” trivia challenge

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Summary

This Bert Show vault episode delivers a vibrant mix of candid celebrity insights, personal stories, and community spirit. Major highlights include the curtain pulled back on reality TV, a heartfelt reminder to stay centered amid online negativity, and Emily Giffen’s blueprint for creative perseverance. The team’s humor shines throughout, whether mocking their own charity standings, playing awkward matchmaker, or celebrating listener wit and luck. For anyone looking for a dose of pop culture, relatable stories, or just a lively Atlanta morning, this episode encapsulates The Bert Show spirit.

Transcript

[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Bert]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Christian]

The Birch show.

[Bert]

All right, Wendy, I know this is going to sound intimidating to you, okay? But I play this clip for a specific purpose.

[Emily Giffen]

I just want you to be careful.

[Sheree]

I'm ready now.

[Kim]

Wait a minute. Kim Nene. I'm okay. Get out of my face. You lying hard. Get the out of my face. You're a liar.

[Guest 1]

Liar.

[Heather]

Grow up.

[Kim]

You're a 40 year old woman face. You're a liar.

[Bert]

My fear is you win this competition and Sheree, we know what she's capable of here. And who knows what makes a camera?

[Emily Giffen]

Who's to say that that's hasn't happened? Right?

[Sheree]

The dance studio.

[Guest 1]

How are you?

[Wendy]

I am wonderful. How are you guys?

[Christian]

Good, good.

[Bert]

What's going on with Real Housewives?

[Wendy]

Oh, same old, same old.

[Bert]

Yeah. You guys have started to shoot the new season already, right?

[Wendy]

I think so.

[Bert]

What do you mean you think so?

[Guest 1]

She's like, I don't.

[Bert]

I'm not trying to bait you. I really don't know.

[Wendy]

Yeah, we've started.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Sheree]

Yeah, it's like Burt's reality TV cameras.

[Bert]

No, I don't have any. These guys really want to believe the backstory to this is, you know, Princess, of course, she. She approached me and some of my friends to do this. Not the same type thing you're doing, but you know, a reality TV show about some dudes here in Atlanta. And I think they're pitching it, but they haven't officially asked yet. So these guys have been asking me if they officially ask will I say yes or no. And I keep telling them until that's presented, I haven't even really thought about it. They think that I've already made a decision and we're all around Atlanta and we're shooting the show.

[Wendy]

Okay. Yeah, I know you guys are not shooting because I do know other people that's on the show.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Sheree]

Not shooting, but not shooting.

[Wendy]

But I. They were shooting soon.

[Guest 1]

Oh, Is there something you want to tell us?

[Kim]

Thank you, Charette.

[Bert]

Well, you just scooped me because I haven't heard.

[Brandon]

I didn't know that.

[Bert]

So now everybody is part of the cast that was in it last year is now in it this season. Also, right?

[Wendy]

That is correct.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

But two new people in the mix, right?

[Wendy]

They got a new person or two. And, you know, who knows what Bravo's gonna do at the end of the day?

[Bert]

Okay, I didn't know.

[Guest 2]

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? You like mixing it up or do you like Status Quo?

[Wendy]

You know what? I can take him or leave it. It doesn't matter. I'm who, you know, I just gotta do charade.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Can you go anywhere in Atlanta now without being recognized?

[Wendy]

Not really. Not just Atlanta, though.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, everywhere.

[Sheree]

Really.

[Wendy]

Over in Jamaica.

[Kim]

And they're like, oh, my gosh, we love the show.

[Emily Giffen]

Or really, L.A. new York.

[Wendy]

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, so it doesn't matter now. Wow.

[Sheree]

And do people think you're the girl on the show? Like this crazy person who's just got this big, bold personality who's intimidating?

[Wendy]

Absolutely.

[Sheree]

And then they meet you and you're.

[Wendy]

And when I work with people, they're like, oh, my gosh. Like, you're so different than you are on the show. People don't realize it's TV and it's for entertainment. And at the end of the day, the editors are gonna have a field day and have a good time. They're gonna make a good show. Is that part of me? Absolutely. Is that me every day? No.

[Bert]

So they just take the most. The most dramatic parts or depending on where.

[Wendy]

Who your character is on the show.

[Bert]

I'm listening to you very closely on all this. Very, very closely on all this.

[Guest 1]

Well, my question is sort of in line with Bert doing it. Do you ever feel like they have cast you in a negative light when it was not something that actually happened just through editing?

[Wendy]

I feel like maybe they could. No, it's always something that happened. But maybe you were put in a situation, or maybe it's. Maybe it's something that was kind of

[Guest 3]

created or manipulated a little bit.

[Bert]

They're throwing you into a situation where they know you're gonna get like. They know you're gonna be agitated. Right. Do you get to the point, though,

[Guest 3]

at this point in the show that you've just embraced that and thought, you know what? I know I'm being put in the situation, and I'm gonna make the most of it and get the most camera time? To be honest. Do you ever kind of amp it up on purpose?

[Christian]

No.

[Guest 3]

Okay.

[Wendy]

No.

[Sheree]

It just happens.

[Wendy]

It just happens.

[Guest 2]

If you were gonna give advice, like,

[Wendy]

let's happen, but it happens.

[Guest 2]

Let's say, hypothetically, there was somebody that was may or may not gonna be involved in a reality television show. Hypothetically. Situation where he would, you know, be in a show similar to Real Housewives of Atlanta, but maybe for guys where he would be cast as the Kim Zolciak of the group. Hypothetically, what advice would you give to said person? Mr. Atl and you can look at any one of us and give that advice if you want.

[Wendy]

Okay. I would say that definitely you have to be comfortable with who you are because you're gonna get a lot of flack from, you know, other people who really. They may see you. They're gonna see you on TV for maybe add up your TV time, maybe two hours, an hour. They're gonna think they know your entire life. So you definitely have to be comfortable with who you are. And you know your family and you know your friends. As long as they know who you are, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[Bert]

How many times. How long did it take you to learn that lesson? Was it half a season? Are you still learning it? Is it one season?

[Wendy]

One season, yeah, one season.

[Bert]

People were pretty brutal to you, and you had to.

[Wendy]

But you know what? It was on the blogs in person. People are like, oh, my gosh. And what's so weird is that never read the.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, never read the blog. Never read the blogs.

[Wendy]

I stopped. People would come up, and it was always very much love in person. And then, you know, you hear other things on, you know, the blogs.

[Guest 1]

Well, the online space is where people love to be negative.

[Bert]

Well, it's for cowards.

[Guest 1]

It's really for cowards behind their computer and their email, and they would say things online that they would never say to anyone's face.

[Bert]

Well, and the worst part of that

[Wendy]

whole thing, they see you and like,

[Kim]

oh, my gosh, I love you.

[Guest 1]

You're my favorite.

[Wendy]

Then they see the next person, oh, my gosh, you're my favorite. Did you say that to me?

[Bert]

Here's the one thing, too, is like, even if you try to avoid the blogs, if something is written that's negative, your friends start texting you all about it.

[Kim]

Oh, my God.

[Bert]

I can't believe what they said about you on the blocks.

[Emily Giffen]

You're like, I haven't even read it.

[Kim]

I don't want to know.

[Wendy]

You have to tell them. Don't even bring that to me. I don't. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. You know who I am. I know who I am. Don't even bring it to me. I don't need to hear it, but that's very negative. But the thing about me is I have kids that can read that are in. You know what I'm saying? And it's, it's, it's tough because they're, they're, their friends are watching the show and when you hear people saying these, you know, or writing these negative things, that's not good. Yeah.

[Bert]

And I got a seven year old. I'd be in the same place.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

I want to know how you're feeling about life post marriage.

[Wendy]

Life post. Oh, my gosh, I'm loving it.

[Guest 1]

Post divorce, post marriage. You're past it all now.

[Wendy]

I am so past it all. I am loving it. You'll see. You'll see me. Season three. This is like kind of me, you know, everything's final, like I said, doing things I normally would not do, kind of coming out of my shell. I've always been very quiet and people don't, don't realize or don't know that on the show you're like, you're quiet. But when they're around me and you can accident the girls, I'm always very quiet. I'm actually very shy.

[Bert]

Really?

[Wendy]

Really.

[Guest 2]

Is that like part of the dancing thing?

[Wendy]

Like, is that part of the dancing

[Guest 2]

thing something you would never do?

[Wendy]

I've never gotten up and danced in front of my family because I don't, I never tried to dance. I don't dance like.

[Guest 2]

But, you know, you're black, right?

[Wendy]

I'm a black girl within a white girl's body, but I'm a white girl

[Kim]

in a black girl's body. I have no rhythm.

[Wendy]

So for me too, you know, And I feel like it's very important to get back. So for me to kind of put myself in a situation where I can potentially look like a fool out here, but I think it's important to give back. And I think that that's. At the, at the end of the day, that's the bigger picture.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Let's get into this. All right, so give us some details and how this whole thing is going to work between all you guys.

[Sheree]

Me and Sheree are competing in this Dancing with the Stars esque event called Dancing Stars of Atlanta. So there's 10 competitors. We're all paired with 10 professional dancers. And we've been training for about a month now, so I think about a month, maybe two weeks for sure. I don't know how long Troy's been in practice.

[Wendy]

I've been traveling so a lot working. And that's another thing you're going to Be gone. You're traveling a lot. Why Different.

[Bert]

They send you to different places, appearances,

[Wendy]

and, you know, just working here and working there, all over the place. So I really haven't been consistently practicing, which I need to really get on it.

[Guest 2]

So I have, like, that's good for you.

[Wendy]

Eight days to really learn this. I know. And look at her. She's in full gear.

[Kim]

Are you kidding me? Is that how you came to work today? She's really putting all the show off over there.

[Sheree]

I'm wearing some leggings and just a comfortable dance outfit right now.

[Bert]

No, but, I mean, she's trying to intimidate you.

[Kim]

She's doing a good job.

[Guest 2]

I'm surprised she hasn't had one of

[Guest 3]

those for about a month.

[Guest 1]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Brandon]

Sh.

[Bert]

How long you've been doing.

[Kim]

I know.

[Sheree]

Leg rum. It's not really a leg up, though, because we're doing two completely different dances. There's two different styles. So I think. Shrey, you're doing a rumba, right?

[Wendy]

Yes, I'm doing an international rumba.

[Sheree]

She's doing an international rumba. I'm doing American posado. So completely different dance forms, but yeah. The event is next season Sunday at the foundry at Puritan Mill. But it benefits Alzheimer's association, which 200,000 people in Georgia deal with this disease. Family members deal with the disease. There's 80,000 people just in the metro Atlanta area alone that are dealing with the disease. It's debilitating.

[Guest 3]

Who's the worst disease out there?

[Emily Giffen]

I get to be honest with you.

[Sheree]

This is horrible. So we're raising money for a great cause. But the thing about raising money, there's two different types of categories. There's a people's choice award, which is the most money donated. So we go on votes. So it's a dollar a vote. So people can go online, get. Go to me or Sharee's page.

[Guest 2]

So it doesn't matter. You've been practicing a month. Sheree's been practicing one week. She could still get.

[Sheree]

She could still beat me in donations and votes because donations come in, like $1 votes. So it's all about raising money for the People's choice awards. So please, I'm, like, at the bottom of the pool.

[Wendy]

Sheree being. No, I am.

[Sheree]

I'm at the bottom. Don't trust me.

[Wendy]

We're at the bottom together.

[Kim]

I know. We're both at the bottom right now.

[Bert]

You guys are bonded by how crappy your dad.

[Kim]

I know.

[Bert]

That's beautiful.

[Guest 2]

I was gonna say, are you really Fighting about this. You're the worst.

[Bert]

No, you're the worst.

[Sheree]

See, it's always a competition.

[Kim]

Even to be the worst.

[Emily Giffen]

Right now it's a competition.

[Guest 2]

No.

[Sheree]

And then there's, of course, there's the judges choice so that they base it on dancing. And it is Dancing with the Stars judges. There's going to be three judges. Jovita Moore from wsb, Justin Farmer from wsb, and then Michael Reeves, who's the president of DAZA Dance, where we're doing our lessons. But it's going to be a panel of judges and there's an audience. It's a Dancing with the Stars audience.

[Bert]

I can tell you right now. Farmer can be bought off.

[Sheree]

Oh, really?

[Bert]

Oh, yeah.

[Wendy]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert]

Slip him a couple of hundred bucks, he'll give you a better score.

[Sheree]

I got to get. I got to make a phone call.

[Wendy]

I know.

[Sheree]

But, yeah, it's going to be a really cool, fun event, and it's a great cause. Alzheimer's association.

[Bert]

And all the information is up online right now.

[Sheree]

It's up there right now.

[Bert]

And once again, it takes place next Sunday.

[Sheree]

Next Sunday, the 16th of May. So we're really excited about it. And you have to go to the website and vote because the donations and voting is where the awards are at. And me and Shreya on the bottom. So we're like in the bottom two.

[Guest 1]

We're in the dark light.

[Sheree]

We're in the dark light right now.

[Guest 2]

I'm on the website right now, and you guys really are pathetically bad.

[Kim]

Oh, my gosh.

[Guest 2]

Yes, I know.

[Sheree]

We're not doing very well.

[Guest 2]

You both have, like, 500 bucks.

[Sheree]

There's somebody with $7,000 right now. That's 7,000 votes.

[Bert]

So we start talking about it, like, today or yesterday. We got to get on it.

[Sheree]

I know. We got to do this. I know.

[Joanne]

Hello?

[Bert]

Hey, Joanne. How are you this morning?

[Joanne]

I'm just great. I hear you talking about the Alzheimer's Association Dancing Stars of Atlanta. I am one of them. And I want to challenge these gals because they're within 5% of what I've raised. I got to give you some lessons on. On fundraising.

[Bert]

Oh, please do. She's coming in here to school, y'.

[Christian]

All.

[Guest 2]

Who is this?

[Joanne]

You know, I'm from New York originally, but I've gotten that Southern hospitality, and I've been able to raise quite a bit of money. So you got to get on the stick in the next few days. If you need my help, let me know.

[Wendy]

She's calling you do.

[Bert]

She's calling you all out right now. Joanne, how much have you raised so far?

[Joanne]

Well, I've raised just shy of $8,000.

[Bert]

And Wendy, how much have you raised?

[Joanne]

Actually, I was beating everybody the last two months, but Carolyn Young, Andrew Young's wife, I think she's a bit ahead of me. But we're in the race and we only have a few days to go.

[Guest 2]

If you're really being generous, you would just give them each some of your money instead of calling us talking all the time.

[Guest 3]

I know how she threw out the percentage of it.

[Christian]

I know

[Bert]

it's competitive. So go online and vote and go check them out. All the information is up online at q100atlanta.com Sheree, thank you for coming in.

[Wendy]

Thank you for having me.

[Bert]

You look fantastic.

[Wendy]

Thank you.

[Sheree]

I know she's on Shade.

[Wendy]

I am so not the morning person, but thank you.

[Guest 1]

And I want to see you on the real Dancing with the Stars. It's just a warm up to the real thing. I think you're gonna get cast.

[Guest 2]

Will you come do a cameo on virtual reality TV show?

[Bert]

I don't have a reality TV show. I'm sorry.

[Guest 3]

When he has one. Sheree.

[Sheree]

When he has a.

[Leah]

Will you please be on there?

[Wendy]

Absolutely.

[Bert]

We're just a couple of steps away from that, like 10.

[Christian]

That's all.

[Wendy]

You guys are gonna do it? Because I saw. I know the guys and I think you guys have a great. I know most of the guys and I think you guys have a great cast.

[Bert]

They have. There's so many guys right now, they haven't even determined who's going to be in it yet. I don't think she said the word cast.

[Guest 3]

Whatever.

[Bert]

I don't know.

[Guest 1]

You're the token white dude.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Two other white dudes.

[Emily Giffen]

No, you're the Kim Zolciak.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

You know what? Everybody knows except for you. You know why? Because you're tardy for the party.

[Christian]

The Birch show. The Birch show.

[Bert]

All right, let's get intern Brandon up. Maybe when we finally find this girl from summer camp of 1990 will realize that was the very first time you were scarred and that's why you're sort of scared.

[Kim]

Maybe.

[Brandon]

Maybe it's her fault.

[Bert]

Maybe it's her fault. Maybe I set the tone for us. Now it's 1998.

[Brandon]

Yes, 1998. Summer camp. I still lived in New York, so I was down here visiting my dad who lived down here and he signed me up for a tennis camp. I don't play tennis. All too well.

[Bert]

But he wanted you out of the house.

[Brandon]

Yeah, basically Sports camp.

[Bert]

He wanted to get out of the house.

[Brandon]

Yes. Summer of 90, the Yankees were about to win their second World Series in three years. I'm just saying. I just had to set the scene. So we were.

[Guest 2]

It was up in the record. Nobody cares the story.

[Brandon]

I assume that. So it was up in Norcross and I believe was Best Friends park up in Norcross. And so we sign up for the camp, we go there and there's a break off into like groups of four or five. And there was this girl in the group. And I think part of the reason why she liked me because I was from New York and had the cool New York accent.

[Bert]

Look how street you are.

[Emily Giffen]

You're exotic.

[Guest 3]

Yeah, I was back in elementary school. Seriously. I mean, if there was somebody who was from a different part of the country, that is in Columbia, Tennessee, the guy that came from Detroit, man, he was the. He was it.

[Sheree]

He was an out of towner.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I had the New York accent and I just gotten rid of the lisp I used to have. So I was really cool.

[Guest 2]

When did it come back?

[Brandon]

Once I started working here.

[Bert]

Right.

[Brandon]

You know, so her name was Lacey.

[Guest 3]

Lacey.

[Brandon]

So, yeah, we just started hanging out. Like they had the lunch area and stuff like that and was really like a summer loving kind of thing.

[Guest 3]

It was also the summer summer. The tennis camp, rather was all summer long.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it was about eight weeks or something like that.

[Guest 3]

Okay.

[Brandon]

You know, she was my little summer crush. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

So a way to tie it into a musical.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Bert]

So it's 1998.

[Brandon]

1998. Yeah.

[Bert]

What else do you remember about her? I mean, her name's Lacey.

[Brandon]

Her name's Lacey.

[Bert]

Have a last name?

[Brandon]

No. I do remember that one day we were watching TV and she shows up on this car dealership commercial. So it was a family car dealership. So I believe her family owned a car dealership in the Norcross area.

[Bert]

Okay. That could be a very, very, very lazy Kia.

[Sheree]

What color hair? What color?

[Brandon]

She had brown hair. I do not remember the eye color. I do. I do remember she had a friend named Robin. Because I. They never heard the Rockin Robin song, so I had to show them the Rockin Robin song and.

[Bert]

Oh, you so were 11 years old.

[Brandon]

She's a white girl.

[Guest 1]

White girl?

[Bert]

Yeah. He's never dated a black girl, right?

[Brandon]

Never.

[Bert]

He's never dated black girl.

[Guest 1]

Well, because you're really, you know, not white man living in a black man's body. But that's okay.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You know, I do remember that they hated Parkview High School, so they went to a rival school, Park View. Okay, I'm not sure if it was.

[Bert]

No, you don't. You know this girl?

[Kim]

Oh, my God. It's destiny. Fake.

[Wendy]

That's freaky.

[Guest 1]

We have a new intern today. It's Leah. This is our intern, Leah.

[Bert]

This is her very first day in studio. And this is Leah. You think you know this girl?

[Leah]

I swear I know this girl.

[Christian]

Shut up.

[Guest 2]

Really?

[Leah]

Parfu was our rival. Went to Brookwood High School.

[Brandon]

Brookwood. Okay. Yeah, it was Brookwood. Now that I remember.

[Guest 2]

And you know Lacey from Lacey Kia?

[Emily Giffen]

Yeah.

[Leah]

Am I allowed to say your last name?

[Bert]

I guess. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Lacey S. And how do you. Her family owns a car dealership.

[Leah]

Her little brother was in my grade, and they owned Step up, that Michael Toyota. I think they own a Toyota dealership.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Brandon]

I don't. I

[Guest 1]

can't believe it.

[Guest 2]

Lacy Toyota.

[Bert]

Wait a second. This can't be real. All right, so you think you. You know. What's her last name?

[Leah]

Smith.

[Bert]

Lacey Smith. And her folks own a Toyota dealership.

[Leah]

I think it was Toyota.

[Guest 2]

If I'm in Norcross, might be out of business now. No brakes on those cars.

[Guest 1]

What. What was her younger brother's name that might help us find her?

[Leah]

Jesse.

[Guest 1]

Jesse Smith.

[Bert]

Now, we're assuming this is the same girl. Not the right girl.

[Guest 2]

Well, how do. How well do you know her brother?

[Leah]

Second grade.

[Guest 2]

I mean, like, do you have his number now?

[Leah]

No, not really. He moved after, like, second grade.

[Heather]

Oh.

[Guest 1]

Could you find her on Facebook?

[Leah]

I could try.

[Sheree]

Did she play tennis?

[Leah]

I didn't really know her that well, but I assume if she went to

[Wendy]

camp, she'd play tennis.

[Bert]

How weird would this be Leah's first day in first words on. The first words to us are, I know her.

[Emily Giffen]

Your job is done here, honey.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, really.

[Bert]

It can never get any better than this. So you should leave now.

[Guest 1]

A plus on the internship, Day one.

[Leah]

Thank you.

[Joanne]

Thank you.

[Bert]

All right, so the first thing we need to do is find Lacy Smith and see if this is the same girl. But others are calling, saying they think they know her also. Hey, Christian.

[Heather]

Hey. How are you?

[Bert]

Good. How are you?

[Heather]

Good. Yes, I know Lacey. She actually lived in my neighborhood growing up. Is this the same high school with her? And cheered with her on the Brooklyn football cheerleading team. So.

[Bert]

Okay, so she ended up going to Brookwood like you said, also. And her dad owns the car dealership.

[Heather]

Yes, I believe so. But I don't think they live in the same neighborhood anymore. But I know that. I mean, I'm friends with her on Facebook now.

[Guest 3]

And it's the same Lacey as intern Leah was talking about.

[Heather]

Yes, yes, Lacey Smith.

[Bert]

Okay, now if that's the same one, can you Facebook her and have her call us or contact us?

[Heather]

I can do that. Yes, I can.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Guest 3]

How weird.

[Bert]

That would be weird.

[Guest 1]

Super cool.

[Bert]

You know how I'm excited.

[Sheree]

Brandon, what are you.

[Brandon]

It's just, like, a shock.

[Guest 2]

Oh, my God. Brandon, have you realized that you may have to talk to a girl?

[Brandon]

Oh, my God, no. Like, it's still, like, bubbling in.

[Bert]

I'll have somebody fill in for you.

[Brandon]

Yeah, odds are she probably won't remember me.

[Guest 2]

So, Lacy, since we left camp, do you get. Have you followed tennis? Like, have you followed, like, you know, some of the tennis players out there?

[Guest 3]

Rockin Robin.

[Brandon]

Mm, Rockin Robin. Yeah, we talk Yankees baseball. I mean, that'd be my opening line.

[Bert]

Now I'm a fan, you know, like how I believe in the whole destiny thing. Okay, now how weird would it be that Brandon is here looking for Lacy and on Leah's first day is connected somehow some way to this girl that we had no idea before we started?

[Brandon]

It has to be destiny or just weird twist of fate.

[Guest 2]

No, fate is bad.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay. Destiny's good.

[Guest 2]

Fate is like, what was it about

[Guest 1]

her that made you have a crush on her? Like, why'd you like her so much?

[Brandon]

Honestly, I don't know. It just if the topic of conversation. Like, every time my dad comes and stays at my apartment, he always talks about her and my brother too. So it just had a lasting power within the three of us in the family.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And you too.

[Guest 1]

Do you think about, like, have you thought about her through the years?

[Brandon]

Only when we talk about it, yeah. For the most part, yeah. Mostly when we talk about it, like, it really does have an underlying impact. It's left on me.

[Bert]

Starting to get a little fluttery.

[Sheree]

He's nervous.

[Bert]

Yeah. That's a good question, Jen.

[Guest 1]

Thanks.

[Brandon]

Like, when I sit in the email, I was like, okay, odds are this won't happen. But now that you have people call,

[Bert]

it's like, wow, nervous. Okay, so here's what we're looking for. If you think you know a. We think it's Lacey Smith and we think she went to Brookwood and her folks owned a car dealership, at least back in 1998. We're not sure if they do now. Give us a call if you have information on her and we're gonna try to track her down and if not, then email us later. And Brandon here is not trying to hook up with her. Tonight we just sort of like, just curious what happened.

[Brandon]

Me hook up with any girl. That's funny.

[Guest 2]

Of all the girls that you could be hooking him up with, like, or a guy a girl up with. Brandon is totally, totally safe.

[Bert]

Totally safe.

[Guest 2]

Trust us.

[Guest 1]

How about, how old is she now?

[Brandon]

She would have to be 21, 22.

[Bert]

Okay, 21 or 22?

[Brandon]

20 to 22.

[Bert]

All right, so if you have any information on her and you can pass it on to her or pass it on to us, we'll try to reunite them by the end of the show or tomorrow morning.

[Leah]

Cute.

[Bert]

That would be weird. If that's the connection right there, that will be strange.

[Christian]

The Bird Show. The Bird Show.

[Bert]

Emily Giffen is in studio with us. Good morning.

[Emily Giffen]

Good morning. Thanks so much for having me.

[Bert]

How are you?

[Emily Giffen]

I'm great.

[Bert]

I got so many tweets yesterday. I tweeted you were going to be on the show. And I got so many tweets from people that are like, oh, my God, I read all of her books.

[Kim]

Oh, my God, I got to be in there.

[Emily Giffen]

That's so nice.

[Bert]

And I'll be honest, I wasn't familiar with your books until yesterday, but Emily here is like, kick ass writer living right here in Atlanta now.

[Guest 1]

That's on account of the fact of you being a man.

[Bert]

Is that it?

[Emily Giffen]

So you spent the day yesterday reading them all?

[Bert]

Yeah, Cover to cover.

[Emily Giffen]

Good, good.

[Joanne]

Mother's Day.

[Emily Giffen]

Yes.

[Bert]

But you're not originally from Atlanta, but you live here now.

[Guest 1]

Right, Right.

[Emily Giffen]

I've been here for six years.

[Bert]

Okay. And for. Let's play a little game called I've never read your books.

[Emily Giffen]

Okay,

[Bert]

what are they? You know, what are they mostly about?

[Emily Giffen]

Well, they're all sort of about the complexity of relationships. So, you know, toxic female friendships or romantic relationships. Sisters, mother, daughter. Yeah, A lot of love, a lot of romance.

[Bert]

And these are all bestsellers. There are four books that are bestsellers.

[Emily Giffen]

Right, Right.

[Bert]

Did I get it right?

[Emily Giffen]

Yeah, you did.

[Sheree]

Okay.

[Bert]

When we were authoring, like, you have six books and four were bestsellers.

[Christian]

Right.

[Bert]

She's like, no, four for four little man.

[Emily Giffen]

Ridiculous would.

[Guest 3]

Which I can understand because I think anytime you fall in love with an author, then you go out and you scramble to find every book that they have written or you look forward to the new releases that come out. And obviously, Emily, you have that. Do you find that when you're writing, now that you're on six and going on seven, do you find that your listeners are in your mind as you're writing, or are you able to just kind of take that out and write like you did the first time.

[Emily Giffen]

First of all, I can tell you're on radio by saying listeners instead of readers.

[Kim]

I love it.

[Emily Giffen]

The audiobook. People would love you for that one. Which, by the way, Cynthia Nixon is reading the new book that's coming out, so that's kind of exciting. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I mean, I definitely write with my readers in mind, for sure. I mean, I want to appeal to women and men, men who feel comfortable enough in their manhood to crack the pastel books, which I'm sure you're going to. Right,

[Guest 2]

to crack the pastel book. I love that.

[Emily Giffen]

But, yeah. So I think there's just a great universal appeal to reading about relationships.

[Guest 1]

And I'm curious if you've ever been anywhere, like, in an airport or on an airplane sitting next to someone reading one of your books.

[Emily Giffen]

You know, that actually has happened. It was the last book tour, and I had rolled out of bed very early, flying back from Boston to Atlanta, just, like, not showered, just, like, early flight. And this girl's reading the book and her husband recognize me. And there was a moment when I was going to deny it because my picture on the back is retouched. I look pretty good. But I was like, yeah, that's me.

[Guest 1]

That's gotta be a pretty cool feeling, though. Like, if you're just, like, walking through the airport and you, like, see somebody sitting there, like, you're like, that's my book.

[Emily Giffen]

I've actually gone up to them and said that. So it's very, very accurate.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Right.

[Guest 3]

That's my book.

[Emily Giffen]

Do you like it?

[Bert]

And they're usually stacked in, like, 20. So there I am the whole time.

[Christian]

This is awesome.

[Guest 1]

I'm also curious about reviews. Do you read book reviews?

[Emily Giffen]

You know, I do, and I don't. I don't read Amazon reviews anymore from the individual readers because I just get too worked up. I do read the ones in the media.

[Guest 1]

Entertainment Weekly ones.

[Emily Giffen]

Yeah, for the most part.

[Heather]

For the most part.

[Guest 2]

Have you ever been tempted to create your own account, log in and post reviews of your own books as someone else?

[Emily Giffen]

Have I been tempted to or have I done it?

[Guest 2]

Answer the question however you want, because now we know you've done it.

[Emily Giffen]

Which you can. If you click on past reviews and you see that this person has only ever reviewed my books, it's kind of. It's either my mother or my sister. You know, it's E. Griffin. That's right.

[Bert]

What connection have you made with your readers that I think a lot of People think they do have. You know, the cliche is one great novel in them, but the truth is they don't. So how did you get forward? Like, what do you know that others don't about writing?

[Emily Giffen]

Well, I love that kind of question with compliment wrapped up in it. So thank you. But again, I just try to write about things that women care about, people care about, and there's a lot of that. So look all around you, every conversation you have with friends and your family. There's potential material there. So hopefully I won't run out.

[Guest 1]

And I think like Bert said, everybody imagines that they could sit down and actually write a book. When would the light bulb go off for you that you had something that would turn into a novel? Did it start as a short story? Does it start as an article? How does it begin?

[Emily Giffen]

Well, I think for me, I just always knew I wanted to be a writer from the time I was five years old. So it was just a question of doing it. And I practiced law for five years and just finally quit and decided I would give myself a year, self imposed deadline to try to try to write something. The first book that was something borrowed and I wrote about the toxic female friendship theme, which is crazy how everyone could relate to that. I've been to probably 100 book clubs and I always ask the question, do you have a Darcy in your life who's sort of the difficult friend in that first book? And it's just practically 100% and it's all ages. I mean, you can go to a nursing home and you can point to the woman who thinks she's all that in the group and annoys everyone.

[Bert]

Do you have some kind of struggling writer story? Like did you try writing for years and years and years and were turned down or did it instantly become a hit?

[Emily Giffen]

It was instant. No, I'm kidding. I actually wrote a young adult novel when I was practicing law. It took me like four years because I was always at work and that one was turned down. And what made that sort of particularly upsetting was my first agent who just wrote back this one line email. They all rejected it. So I actually scanned that email. I have it on my website. I think it's probably inspiring for writers who are trying to get published. Hopefully they react that way to it that people, you know, everyone has that early rejection. So you just have to keep after it. Sort of like training for a marathon. It's a war of wills, I think, to a large extent. So for the writers out there, just don't give up, keep Doing it.

[Bert]

Did the agent tell you that to keep trying or are they just like, nobody likes your stuff. No one will ever like you, ever.

[Emily Giffen]

You've got to go to my website and look at this. It literally says they all rejected it and nothing else. And I had written like, happy New Year. I'm just calling for the status update. And so yeah, and there was that. There was that.

[Bert]

Emily Giffen, Atlanta author, here in studio with this morning. One of the books is being made into a movie by and Kate Hudson starring in it.

[Emily Giffen]

Yeah, yeah. It's so exciting. It's my first book, Something Borrowed. It's actually a two movie deal. My second book, Something Blue is a sequel and so they're doing two movies and Kate Hudson is playing the difficult friend that I just described as Darcy and Jennifer Goodwin's Rachel. And then John Krasinski is another male lead.

[Guest 1]

Were you involved in the casting or the development of the film?

[Emily Giffen]

I would say I was included more than involved. I don't think I had any real say. But they were very kind about making me feel as if I did so, like a consultant of sorts. But I did go out there a couple times and worked on the script and met some of the potential actors at the time.

[Guest 2]

Did you take some pictures with your phone and send them to that agent and write? They didn't reject this one. I would have.

[Guest 1]

That's so exciting. When is the movie going to be coming out?

[Emily Giffen]

It's June of next year. So June 2011.

[Guest 1]

So you'll be able to be out there and at the premiere and on the red carpet and the whole thing, hopefully.

[Emily Giffen]

That's so cool.

[Bert]

Without her, there's no party, man. She wrote the book.

[Guest 1]

And you're guaranteed a good time because everyone will see. Say that the movie's not as good as the book.

[Emily Giffen]

Yeah, you know what everyone always says?

[Guest 3]

Yes.

[Emily Giffen]

Mixed feelings about that. I almost want it to be like, I love the book but I like the movie more and I think it could happen. I'm really impressed with the direction they've taken and the ways they've adapted the book. You know, it's not going to be exactly like the book and people, I've heard some authors get very upset about that. But you need to make some changes for it to work. And so, yeah, I think it's going to be awesome.

[Bert]

Well, the name of the new book is Heart of the Matter and Emily will be out at the Borders in Buckhead on May 21st. She'll sign her new release for you guys. I got that date Right.

[Emily Giffen]

Yes, she did.

[Bert]

Friday at 7:30. And we will have all the information up [e-mail]. Really nice to get to know you.

[Guest 3]

Congratulations.

[Emily Giffen]

Thank you so much for having me. It was really fun.

[Bert]

And good luck with everything.

[Emily Giffen]

Thanks so much.

[Christian]

Hey, the Bird show. The Bird show.

[Bert]

Okay. The question is the same today that it's been for the last week here. Who in Hollywood, which five celebrities are generally regarded as the worst in bed? Worst in bed. And we are adding train tickets today to OAR, tickets to $50 at Fideaux to Green Day, and $100 to Spa Sedel.

[Sheree]

That's awesome.

[Bert]

It's a pretty big jackpot at this point. So just tell us the names of all five dudes that suck in bed. Hey, Heather. Good morning.

[Heather]

Good morning.

[Brandon]

How are you?

[Heather]

Good. How about y'? All?

[Bert]

Great. All right. Is this thing over today?

[Heather]

I hope so.

[Bert]

All right, got.

[Heather]

I've got Brody Jenner, 50 Cent, Russell Brand, Stuart Townsend and Mick Jagger.

[Bert]

You got three, right?

[Kim]

Oh.

[Guest 3]

All right.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Emily Giffen]

We're getting close.

[Bert]

Good morning. Amanda, you are on Q100.

[Heather]

Okay, guys, I'm gonna win it.

[Joanne]

Are you ready?

[Emily Giffen]

All right, here we go.

[Sheree]

She's confident.

[Guest 3]

Here we go.

[Heather]

I've got Brody Jenner, Joaquin Phoenix, Russell Brand, Colin Farrell and 50 cents.

[Bert]

Give me those one more time.

[Heather]

Brody Jenner, Joaquin Phoenix, Russell Brand, Colin Farrell and 50 Cent.

[Bert]

4.

[Heather]

No, you're kidding.

[Bert]

Same. One more time.

[Heather]

Brody Jenner.

[Wendy]

I thought it was three.

[Heather]

Joaquin Phoenix, Russell Brand, Colin Farrell and 50 Cent.

[Bert]

That's four. Four. Yeah, four.

[Heather]

Okay, thanks.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Joanne]

Bye.

[Guest 3]

Bye.

[Bert]

Here is Christy. Good morning. You are on Q100. It's all or nothing trivia.

[Sheree]

Good morning.

[Heather]

I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Bert]

Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Emily Giffen]

Here we go.

[Bert]

I'm more ready than you are.

[Heather]

I got Brady Jenner, Colin Farrell, 50 Cent, Russell Brand, Kevin Alderman.

[Bert]

Four, right.

[Heather]

Darn. Okay, thank you.

[Bert]

Do you have a hint ready to go just in case?

[Sheree]

Sure.

[Guest 3]

Who's Kevin Alderman?

[Guest 1]

Can we skipped my hint the other day.

[Guest 2]

Can we suggest that Donny Osmond poster or is that not a celebrity if

[Guest 3]

it's in print and inserted in an orifice?

[Guest 2]

Two words, people.

[Sheree]

Orifice is not a fun word.

[Bert]

Kevin. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Joanne]

Hi.

[Heather]

Hi. How's it going?

[Bert]

Okay. How are you?

[Kim]

I'm good.

[Bert]

Let's do this thing.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All right.

[Heather]

Let's do it. Russell brand, Colin Farrell, 50 Cent, Brody Jenner, Stewart Town.

[Bert]

You got four, right?

[Joanne]

Oh, man.

[Heather]

Appreciate it, man.

[Bert]

I really thought we were wrapping up today. Good morning, April. You were on Q100.

[Heather]

I'm gonna win it.

[Bert]

You're gonna win it. You're gonna win it. Go for it.

[Heather]

I'm gonna win it. Russell brand, Colin Farrell, 50 Cent, Brody Jenner and Jesse James.

[Bert]

And we've got ourselves the winner on all or Nothing Trivia.

[Heather]

You know, I just started listening to your station the first day. You started this, too.

[Guest 2]

Oh, really?

[Christian]

Okay.

[Kim]

Welcome.

[Guest 2]

Can we ask what you listen to before this?

[Heather]

CDs and books on CD, mostly.

[Guest 3]

Okay.

[Heather]

I'm a dork.

[Bert]

Those things are never. Those things are never going to take off. Those will be outdated. But we'll be here forever. All right, April, congratulations. Yeah, it was Jesse James, Brody Jenner, 50 Cent, Russell Brand and Colin Farrell. And listen to this list of prizes. You and I, we are making up for lost time here because you just won 100 bucks to spa Sedell. You're going to see Green Day at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. You're going to see OAR at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. You're going to see Train at Chastain. And we're giving you 50 bucks to spend over at Fadel.

[Heather]

Oh, my gosh. That's so awesome. Thank you, guys.

[Guest 2]

Who's better than fuck on tape now, woman?

[Bert]

Thanks a lot for listening, April.

[Heather]

Thank you. All right.

[Joanne]

Bye.

[Bert]

Bye. All right, so again, these are the list of the worst in Hollywood. Jesse James, Brody Jenner, 50, Russell Brand and Colin Farrell.

[Christian]

Get it? The Birch Show.