Full Show PT 1: Thursday, June 25 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Episode Summary
Full Show PT 1: Thursday, June 25 [Vault] (June 25, 2026)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers around listener engagement and real-life dilemmas. The cast dives into their popular “Teacher Vent Line,” giving educators a platform to air grievances, followed by two in-depth listener stories — one involving awkward family vacation dynamics with an ex, and another unpacking the pros and cons of moving in with a fiancé before marriage. As always, the tone is candid, inviting, and peppered with humor and empathy as Bert and the team (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others) dish advice, reflections, and plenty of laughter.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

The Teacher Vent Line

[01:01–10:11]

Main Themes

• Frustrations with parental involvement (or lack thereof)
• Teacher underappreciation and low pay
• The impact of budget cuts & furloughs
• Declining student writing skills and blame placed on educators, not the system/parents
• Communication breakdown among teachers, students, and parents
• Unrealistic expectations of teachers in both public and private schools

Highlights

• Teachers’ Frustrations:
  • Parents expect teachers to handle all discipline:

    “Your child is with me more hours of the day than they are with you. Discipline needs to start at home.” – Teacher Caller ([01:33])

  • Furloughs and underpayment resentments:

    “Single moms just can't do it on a poverty level ... you're going to take $200 out of my paycheck? Cut the administrators when they're getting bonuses!” – Teacher Caller ([01:55], [02:34])

  • Declining student skills:

    “Most of them are writing at elementary levels... The worst thing we are doing as educators is allowing these students to pass through these grades and not give them what they need to function as literate writers.” – Teacher Caller ([03:33])

  • Parental complicity in poor academic habits:

    “Parent, if you're going to have your son... in a lit class, do not tell them it's okay to watch the movie instead of reading the book.” – Teacher Caller ([06:00]) “How in Sam hell do you have a sixth grader in private school and they can't even read?... sitting down and helping them early matters.” – Teacher Caller ([06:53])

In-Studio Reactions

• High value of teaching:

  “I just don't understand why [teachers are] not the most celebrated profession in this country and the highest paid.” – Jen ([02:59])

• Teachers’ daughters Melissa and Jen empathize and nod along to callers' points.
• Debate over written professionalism:

  “If you send something that's got misspellings or all lowercase or you're using 'cuz' instead of 'because,' it's not gonna happen.” – Melissa ([04:40])

• Discussion on generational differences in communication:

  “Maybe 28 or older, you're using capital letters and punctuation; under 28, you're not.” – Bert ([05:08])

  • Jen reminds young jobseekers:

    “When you're in the professional world, you have to be professional and be able to adjust.” ([05:18])

• Support for teacher activism amid budget and merit pay battles:

  “Get on Facebook, join 'Georgians Against Merit Pay,' and let your lawmakers know...” – Heather, Caller ([07:42])

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Callie’s Awkward Vacation with the Ex

[11:13–25:51]

Situation Summary

Callie recounts a tense vacation with her boyfriend’s family, featuring his ex-girlfriend (Valerie) invited by his sister. The situation unfolds with undercurrents of jealousy, possible “territory marking” by the ex, and ambiguous motives from the sister.

Major Plot Points

• Callie’s approach: She tries to “take the high road,” not raising concerns before the trip ([13:06]) despite receiving mixed advice.
• Room assignments: Parents’ old-fashioned rules mean Callie shares with the ex ([14:40]).
• Ex’s behavior:

  “[Valerie] was asking me questions... like, 'Does he still do this?' Just to get her point across that she really did know him.” – Callie ([14:49])

  • Flirtatious and physical with Callie's boyfriend, to Callie’s increasing discomfort ([17:27], [18:15]).
• Sister’s alleged role: Split opinions on whether the sister was a bystander or complicit in stirring drama ([16:19])
• Breaking point: Valerie physically places herself close to Callie’s boyfriend during a movie; Callie confronts her boyfriend and decides they should leave early ([18:57]–[20:23]).
• Aftermath & Advice:
  • Bert & crew mostly believe Callie's boyfriend was oblivious, not malicious ([21:23])
  • Jen’s practical tip:

    “Charm the mom... Send a thank you note. You have the son.” – Jen ([25:20])

Memorable Quote

“Men smell other sharks circling in the water. So why don't they trust us when we smell other barracuda in the water?” – Traci, Caller ([23:45])

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“Love Lost & Found” — Missed Connections, Destiny, and a Love Triangle

[26:29–38:33]

The Story

Jason, a listener, recalls meeting a flight attendant (Barbara) on a random shuttle ride — a moment he can't forget. The show helps track her down using listener clues (“the loaf of bread” on the airplane clinched it).

Main Moments

• Barbara’s status: She's not in a relationship, but reconnecting with a former boyfriend currently serving in Iraq — their communication is rekindled after six years ([31:15]).
• Jason’s Approach: Jason expresses his hope and admiration, even as he recognizes Barbara’s attention is (rightfully) mostly on her military boyfriend.

  “I just want to get to know you... I knew this was a long shot.” – Jason ([33:49])

• Barbara’s caution:

  “As soon as she said the loaf of bread, I was like, oh my God, that was me.” – Barbara ([29:08]); she tentatively agrees to coffee, not wanting to close any doors ([34:56]).

• Comic relief: Jason’s brother Philip calls in joking about “destiny,” and Bert nudges the possibility of a love connection with the brother ([36:18]).

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Joanna’s Moving-In Dilemma: Wait for Marriage or Move In Now?

[39:15–54:24]

The Situation

Joanna is engaged to Jason and faces a classic modern dilemma: They live two hours apart, he’s moving to Atlanta for school, and she wrestles with whether living together before marriage fits her values, his family’s expectations, and practical realities.

Main Arguments

• Joanna’s stance:

  “I've been telling him from day one, I don't want to move in until we're married... Engagement to me, does that say I can move in with him now or should I still wait?” ([39:33])

• Influencing factors:
  • Financial practicality of sharing a home
  • Respect for tradition and in-law expectations
  • Desire for a “meaningful difference” between dating/engagement/marriage ([41:13])
• Advice from hosts and callers:
  • Mixed — some urge her to follow her heart/values; others cite “You don’t really know someone until you live with them” ([43:49])
  • Two divorcees share conflicting stories: one regrets not living together pre-marriage, the other wishes she hadn't.

    “[Moving in] was too much of a culture shock.” ([51:36]) – Jen “When you get married, you're going to go through an adjustment period... wait a year... enjoy the courtship.” – Laurie, Caller ([47:04])

• Bottom line:

  “There really is no right or wrong answer. The only right answer is what's right for you and Jason. Advice is such crap when it comes to relationships.” – Bert ([53:30])

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Notable Quotes

• “If you're in the professional world, you have to be professional and be able to adjust to that. You can do this 'cuz' with your friends. But when you're trying to get a job, you get to spell it right.” – Jen ([05:18])
• “Charm the mom. Thank you note to the mom. You have the son.” – Jen ([25:20])
• “You're unique, Jason's unique, and it's a unique situation. Do what you want to do.” – Bert ([53:30])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Teacher Vent Line – Frustrations, policy, parental involvement: [01:01]–[10:11]
• Callie’s Vacation with the Ex – Listener drama/advice: [11:13]–[25:51]
• Love Lost & Found – Missed connection, Barbara & Jason: [26:29]–[38:33]
• Joanna’s Moving-In Dilemma – Values vs practicality/advice: [39:15]–[54:24]

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Episode Tone & Style

The Bert Show crew balances humor and empathy, alternating between playful banter and genuine support for callers. Their advice is frank and real — encouraging listeners to own their choices in both relationships and personal growth, while poking gentle fun at each other and their audience.

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If you’re new to The Bert Show, this episode provides a blend of heartfelt teacher advocacy, relationship drama, and the everyday dilemmas that make morning radio such an engaging part of the daily routine.

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Bert]

What's up everybody?

[Jen]

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[Bert]

The Birch show all right, let's get back to the teacher vent line here. 404-255-3535 is the number. And if you're a teacher and you're frustrated with anything going on, could be another teacher, could be administration, could be one of your students, could be the parents to one of your students, which is really what we do.

[Melissa]

It's mostly gripes about the parents.

[Bert]

Then you give our vent line a call and sort of is working as your therapist. You just go ahead and dump there because you can't say these things to the parents and you feel better about things. So this is our fourth now teacher vent line.

[Teacher Caller]

Your child is with me more hours of the day than they are with you. So if you expect them to behave and not get in trouble, then discipline needs to start at home. That's not what we do at school.

[Bert]

All right. Again, so we're going to see probably the same reoccurring thing. Teachers don't have a problem with the kids, right? It's when they get back to you guys, man.

[Teacher Caller]

Just want to let you know, teacher assistants have been furloughed 10 days. We make poverty level salary as it is. You gotta understand single moms just can't do it on a poverty level. Hey, get it together. I have valuable things to do with my own time. Whether it be pouring my heart and energy into lesson plans and creative activities to keep your lazy children attentive in my classroom or whether it be personal things, believe it or not, we have a life outside of school. I Love kids. That's why I became a teacher. There's nothing in me that gets excited about having to discipline a kid.

[Caller]

Thanks.

[Teacher Caller]

Appreciate it. Bye. I just want to say I'm tired of everyone giving us furlough days. I make just enough money each month to pay the bills in the household and buy groceries and maybe have enough for gas. And then you're going to take out $200 out of my paycheck for the month. How about you do something else? And cut the administrators when they're getting bonuses and they can go on vacations that cost thousands and thousands of dollars?

[Bert]

Melissa and Jan just both nodding their head yes.

[Jen]

I just. I mean, we're both daughters of teachers, and I just think that teachers just. Oh, my God. I don't understand why they're not the most celebrated profession in this country and the highest paid.

[Melissa]

Well, and for more furloughs coming, too, I mean, to me, it seems like they're having to do major, major budget cuts. And I just heard this morning that they're having to close four schools.

[Bert]

Indicator budgetary cuts.

[Melissa]

Close them, like, close. Like, no one works there anymore, you know, And I think they're still trying to decide which ones those are going to be. But, yeah, you'd rather take a furlough than everybody get fired, you know, I

[Teacher Caller]

am a high school teacher and extremely disappointed with the writing of most of my high school students at this point. Most of them are writing on elementary levels and with the anticipation of going through college. The worst thing that we are doing as educators is allowing these students to pass through these grades and not give them what they need to be able to function as literate writers. It's very frustrating. Parents don't understand it. It's all about test scores. Policymakers don't understand that they're not in the classrooms. They're not dealing with these students who don't care, who don't want to be there, who want to make a grade, move on, but don't want to do the work.

[Bert]

Let me step in there for just one second and sound like an old guy, because from time to time, I'll get emails from some of our college interns. And I blame this on the Internet and Twitter right here, but, man, it is so bad. Like, if. If our. If some of our college interns are writing resumes or cover letters the way they are writing emails, professional emails to us, they are never gonna get a job.

[Jen]

Correct.

[Melissa]

That's usually the first line of defense for me. Like with our collegiate interns, if they can't send me like a complete formal email and be able to email me a resume that looks like a formal resume. I don't even accept them for a phone interview. And then after the phone interview, you know what I'm saying? Like it goes in steps. But that to me is the first line of defense. If you send something that's got misspellings or all lowercase or you're using C u Z instead of. Because then it's not gonna happen.

[Bert]

I'm sorry, it's almost like an age definer now and I'm not sure what it is. Maybe 28 or older, you're using capital letters and punctuation and under 28 you're not well.

[Jen]

And the thing is, you say you sound like an old guy, but guess who's hiring you? It is going to be the old guys. So I mean, I just. That's cute and everything and having slang and doing all this stuff. But when you. Yes, you're in the professional world, you have to be professional and be able to adjust to that. You can do this cuz with your friends. But when you're trying to be. Trying to get a job, you get to spell it. Right.

[Bert]

I've been really surprised by that. You know, and these, these students are inevitably gonna grow up and be teachers also. So they're learning the basics in school. Right. But they're just not applying it in the social networking world. Is that right?

[Melissa]

I think so, yeah. I mean, you have to think about it like teenagers now have never grown up without a cell phone or texting.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

You know, they don't know what life would be like without it.

[Jason]

Right.

[Teacher Caller]

I am sick of administration asking why my failure rate is so High when 20% of my students have missed at least 15 days this year. Parent, if you're going to have your son. Daughter in a literature class, do not tell them it's okay to watch the movie instead of reading a book.

[Narrator]

No.

[Melissa]

Oh my God.

[Bert]

I used to do that, but your

[Jen]

parent is telling me to do it.

[Bert]

My parent never told me to do it. No, but I did it.

[Jen]

I mean, I failed to test because I watched Gone with the Wind and didn't read it. Yes, I know. Okay, but yes, Millie, Pete never said. Well, honey, don't worry. Just get the Cliffs Notes and watch the movie.

[Melissa]

The Cliff Notes are awesome. No, no, no. I mean CliffsNotes can help you, but yeah, watch the movie instead of reading the book at all.

[Jen]

But the parents saying it is the thing.

[Callie]

Of course.

[Barbara]

You know, I thought it's funny.

[Teacher Caller]

First of all, I have a problem with the parents. How in Sam hell do you have a sixth grader in private school or public school and they can't even read? I have a problem that I have to teach your 6th grader phonics in a private school. Hello. Throwing money at the problem is not going to fix it. You should have sat down with them when they were in kindergarten and first grade and helped your teacher. But no, no, everything's always a teacher's fault. That's absolutely ridiculous. And that's all I have to say. Thank you.

[Callie]

End of messages.

[Bert]

All right, so sort of the same sentiment there.

[Melissa]

Why parents?

[Jen]

I know I'm not a parent, but why have children if you're not actually going to involve yourself in their life? Why have children? Children just don't have children.

[Bert]

Hey, Heather, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Heather]

Hi.

[Caller]

I was listening to the teacher vent line. And if teachers are upset about the furloughs or the merit pay system, I really want to urge all teachers, it's email your senator week. Let them know that you're upset. Get the message out there, because there's not a lot that we can do when we don't have unions. So get on Facebook, join Georgians Against Merit Pay, find out information, do anything that you can to let your senators and lawmakers know that they need to stop furloughing us and they need to not let that merit bill get through and become a law.

[Bert]

And I would suggest if you write them a letter, go ahead and use capital letters and punctuation, commas and periods and stuff like that.

[Jen]

I think senators respond to correct spelling.

[Melissa]

Proper grammar would be good.

[Bert]

Hey, Jill. Good morning. You're on the Bert Show.

[Narrator]

Good morning.

[Heather]

I'm a teacher and when I went to college, I remember one of my teachers telling us a child has a right to his or her own language, except in the workforce, so they can punctuate incorrectly and jive and do all that stuff that they want to do while they're kids and while they're with their families and all. But the minute you start in that workforce, I'm sorry, you have to adapt.

[Bert]

People need to tell them that, but they do.

[Jen]

How do you adapt if you're not educated to do that or if you're

[Bert]

not doing it consistently right?

[Heather]

If the teachers aren't doing their job and telling them just that, fine, you talk how you want to. But in the workforce you've got to be like everybody else. But you got parents who then are saying, well, my child was raised this way. And this is how they're supposed to be. Well, fine, but they're not going to get a job.

[Jen]

There's a part of me that I don't know. There's a part of me that doesn't fully. I get where everybody's diverse, but if you're in a classroom or in a workforce, I don't necessarily agree with the teacher saying, well, you can write however you want. You can talk. No, when you're in the classroom, there's a certain standard that should be applied to everybody. And I just think that we're. I don't know. Sometimes I, you know, Bert always uses the word, you know, like, you know, in sports, like weak or whatever. And sometimes I think we're getting weak in school. Like, you know what? Yeah, we're getting too soft in school. I really think so. I think the administration does not let the teachers have the power in the classroom. And that is who you.

[Announcer]

You.

[Jen]

You need to be intimidated by your teacher and want to see they can't be anymore.

[Bert]

They can turn around, they can sue you, and then they go to their parents.

[Jen]

And I think that's horrible. I think that's horrible to do that. Yeah. I think we're getting soft in school. Absolutely.

[Laurie]

I agree.

[Bert]

I think we're getting soft as parents, too.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

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[Bert]

All right, so let's just get you all caught up with Callie. You remember her from when we left, right before we left for Burt's big adventure.

[Callie]

The whole family is going to go on vacation and I'm really excited to go with Them, their aunt has a house in Tampa, and the younger sister is. Was supposed to bring her boyfriend, but they broke up. So she's like, I'm going to bring my friend Valerie. And my boyfriend came up to me, and he's like, I just want you to know. He goes, I don't want this to be weird, but Valerie and I dated all throughout high school.

[Bert]

All right, so that was right before we left for Burt's big adventure. So she got a whole bunch of different advice.

[Melissa]

Well, yeah, because the ex girlfriend was really best, you know, close friends with the sister. So the sister had invited her. So it wasn't the boyfriend that invited her, and it wasn't the parents that invited her. It was the sister. So we were wondering, was she gonna say anything at all? Was she gonna go, if. I don't know.

[Bert]

And, Melissa, I think you were the one that thought that this was really more about the sister.

[Jen]

Well, I just didn't trust the fact. Yeah, I just didn't trust that the sister invited the ex because I'm. I mean, are they best friends? I don't know. But I just feel like if my sister, for instance, was. Had dated this guy for all through high school, and then later on, we were on the Carter family vacation, bring in Melanie's new boyfriend. There is no way in my mind, I think, you know what? I'm going to bring the ex boyfriend on the trip, too, because he's my buddy. I don't know. I just think the sister knew what she was doing.

[Callie]

Yeah.

[Bert]

If you're close to your family, then you're sensitive to that situation. You don't invite.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Here's Callie. She's back. Hey, Callie.

[Caller]

Hey, guys.

[Callie]

How's it going?

[Bert]

Good. How are you?

[Callie]

I'm good.

[Bert]

Did you actually go on this vacation?

[Caller]

We did.

[Lady Luck]

You did?

[Callie]

And we left on Thursday.

[Bert]

All right, so how did you handle it beforehand? Because some people were saying, you should talk to your boyfriend about it. Others were saying, just take the high road and don't say anything at all. So how did you handle it even before you took off?

[Callie]

Before we took off? I didn't ask. Decided to take the high road. Listen to what everybody was saying about. I didn't really want to be weird or, like, high maintenance, so I just kind of took the high road and didn't say anything and was hoping that everything would work out.

[Philip]

Okay.

[Bert]

Okay. And that was. That was against your advice, right, Jen? You said yes. At least hit the dude down and talk to him about it.

[Melissa]

Yeah, my advice was. Was to definitely Tell your boyfriend and just say, you know, I'm just a little uncomfortable with this. You don't have to do anything about it, but I just want you to be aware of it to me, because I thought that opened up some sort of line of communication between the two of you, because it's not just about him and the relationship. Like, you have to set your own boundaries. What's okay with you, too? So that's what I thought would have happened. But I also understood the perspective of people thinking, well, if she does that, then she's whiny or she's a diva or whatever else, you know?

[Bert]

And once again, they've only been dating since what, October or November?

[Callie]

August.

[Bert]

August. Okay. All right.

[Joanna]

That's a good bit of time.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Okay. So you don't. You decide not to say anything to them whatsoever. All right.

[Callie]

And, you know, at first everything was really cool. We actually all drove down in different cars. His family was in one car, and then his sister and Valerie were in another car, and then we were in another car. So, you know, everything was really cool. And when we got there, we were all having a great time. And then I just. I was kind of bummed because then we had to. We couldn't stay in the same room because his parents don't like that. They're, you know, they're really old fashioned. So they actually put me in the room with the girls, with Valerie, and

[Bert]

it went from bad to worse.

[Jen]

Fantastic.

[Teacher Caller]

Okay.

[Joanna]

Did you guys interact at all?

[Callie]

I'm sorry?

[Joanna]

Did you guys interact, get along at all?

[Callie]

Well, we did it just. That's actually when things really started to get weird. You know, she seems really nice and really cool and stuff. And then, you know, that's when things kind of started taking a weird turn. And she was asking me questions that I felt like had a really specific point to him. Like, she would say stuff like, well, like, does he still do this and this? And I told him he would do this. So it made it seem like that she knew him better than I did. But she was trying to just get her point across that it was that she really did know him. And she does know him.

[Bert]

Yeah. I mean, they went out all through high school, right?

[Teacher Caller]

Yeah.

[Callie]

But it just seemed really territorial to me, like, when she did that.

[Jen]

Yeah,

[Callie]

I would never do that to someone, you know what I mean, if I were in that situation. Because that. It definitely seems like you're kind of staking that. You've got a higher claim there.

[Bert]

Is that a calculated move on her part or is it

[Melissa]

he was the hydrant and she was the dog. And she was like, yeah, marking her territory.

[Jen]

Gotcha.

[Callie]

Very much so.

[Jen]

And that's why I don't trust that sister.

[Callie]

Yeah, I was kinda like, okay, did you.

[Jen]

Did you and the sister get along? How did the sister treat you?

[Callie]

The sister, I mean, she was just very neutral. You know, she was really nice. She didn't. Didn't seem weird or anything, you know, so that, you know, it just mostly was coming out from that point. It seemed like it was really mostly just coming from her side.

[Bert]

No, she was loving it because she was sitting back and watching this thing explode, like, just like the way she wanted it to. I mean, she set you up.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Callie]

And then, you know, like I said, that's kind of when things started turning. Because then, like, the rest of the time that we were there, she was very flirty with him. Like, a couple times she actually, like, touched his arm and, like, laughed. Yeah. And that's not cool. I was just like, oh, my gosh. He didn't, you know, he's not reading anything into it, but I, as a girl, I totally knew, so. And then here's the part where I said the sister was really cool. But then at one point, his sister asked me to go to the store with her to grab things for some groceries. And I was like, okay. And she's like, oh, do you mind coming with me? She's like, you know, Valerie's, you know, still asleep and stuff. I'm like, no, you know, I'll totally go with you. And so we got back from the store, and Valerie was supposedly sleeping, but she was totally up and fully made up. And at every point in the trip, it took her, like, a long time to get ready. Like, she would do her hair and her makeup, so it should have taken her a really long time. Like, that meant that she was already up and ready. But when I got back from the store, you know, it was clear that she had already been up. So I think her sister kind of worked together with her on that point to try to get me to the house.

[Jen]

I knew it. I knew it. Well, because if you were trying to get back with anybody, then you go through their siblings to not to be indirect. And if her sister. And if they were in high school together and the sister and her got close in school, then they totally had a conversation about this, and that's why the sister brought her.

[Bert]

Oh, was this late enough in the trip that it didn't bother you the rest of the. I mean, because if this happens on the first day, your whole vacation is ruined. Did this happen at least late enough in the trip where it didn't matter all that much?

[Caller]

This is.

[Callie]

Towards the beginning. I was really trying to keep it together. And his parents, I really don't believe his parents have an agenda at all anymore. We're all just kids to them. But they were doing stuff like pictures of him and Valerie and being like, oh, my gosh, you guys are so funny. And then one time, this is the part where I really just. This was a big turning point for me. We were watching movies and me and my boyfriend were like, sitting in side by side recliners, and Valerie came in and was like, oh, my gosh, what are y' all watching? And then she sat down in front of my boyfriend on the floor and put her back up again.

[Jen]

No way to say it. What did your boyfriend do?

[Melissa]

Yeah, what's his role in all this?

[Callie]

I mean, he just. He seemed a little, like, he was a little stiff, you know, when she did that. So I don't think he was, like, overly, like, receptive. I mean, that had made him uncomfortable, but I was just like, you know what that is? That is it. She's already been touching his arm and now she's, like, leaning up against him while we're watching a movie together.

[Jen]

How long did she sit there? Well, my question is, what did your boyfriend do physically when she did that?

[Callie]

He just. I mean, he got kind of stiff, you know, sort of like he didn't move, but he just kind of kept looking over to me. And like, at one point he touched my arm.

[Caller]

So he was.

[Callie]

I felt like he was being reassuring because he didn't touch my arm, you know, and sort of, you know, seem stiff about it. But I just, I really could not. I was like, I can't do this anymore.

[Bert]

Sure did.

[Callie]

You know, Saturday night? I just was like, you know what? I finally told him. I was like, I really feel uncomfortable with, you know, Valerie. I said, I'm so sorry if it seems weird, but I just feel like I just can't handle this. And so we actually left on Saturday night. And my boyfriend actually, he thought I was, like, overreacting, but not in a bad way. He was like, well, I think you're kind of taking this the wrong way or, you know, you're making a big deal, but it's totally fine. If you're not comfortable, then we can leave. So we left on Saturday night. So I just. I couldn't handle it anymore.

[Melissa]

Did you have to come up with an excuse on why you were leaving, or did you just tell the parents exactly why or.

[Callie]

No, we didn't tell the parents anything. You know, the boyfriend just kind of was like, yeah, we're just. I think we're gonna head on out and, you know, just get back. There's a lot of stuff that I need to do. So he kind of, like, took the hit for me. He said there was a lot of stuff that he needed to do, which was nice.

[Bert]

There's too much protecting of this girl going on, you know?

[Jen]

How serious are you about this gun?

[Callie]

I really. I mean, I really. I really love him. I've gotten to the point where I really think I'm completely in love with him.

[Bert]

I don't know that he's over this girl. I don't know. Well, I've got two schools of thought on it. I would say this, like, 80% of guys would never would. We always think that our women are overreacting to the situation that's right in front of us, because we don't think it's a big deal. Now, when she sat, like, in between, you know, like, right next to him and started touching on him, that probably should have been the red flag, but most guys don't see the clues that women see.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I don't think he's acting any sort of maliciously or he has feelings for her at all. I think he's probably trying to keep the peace. Like, he didn't want to have a big reaction when she sat on and leaned on the. Did she sit on the floor and lean on the recliner?

[Callie]

Did she What? Sorry.

[Bert]

Yeah, she was on the floor.

[Melissa]

So she sat on the floor and just leaned on the recliner, like, where his legs were. Right.

[Callie]

What are the legs for?

[Caller]

Yeah, his.

[Callie]

Her back, like, on his shin.

[Melissa]

Okay. Yeah, he could. He should have probably hopped up and said, hey, why don't you just take my seat? I'll sit on the floor and sat on the floor in front of you. But, like, he might not have been thinking. And then, like. Like you said, get stiff and uncomfortable. And, uh, what do I do? I don't want to cause a scene, but I also know this is probably not right. Like, I don't think that it's completely 100% his fault or reflects his feelings. I think. I think he's probably way over this girl. She's been friends with the family a long time.

[Callie]

He's.

[Melissa]

He's totally moved on with you and obviously brought you and you were the priority because when you said you were uncomfortable, he left.

[Bert]

Don't you think that eventually, like, it's probably either today or tomorrow, if it hasn't happened already, that the follow up text from the ex is coming? Like now all of a sudden, they're in the same room together, they're spending time. She obviously still has feelings for him. Don't you think she's gonna act on those and call them?

[Callie]

I do. I mean, she totally. She totally made it clear that, I mean, she was flirting with them. And the bad thing is, is that, like, I feel like, I mean, obviously his sister.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Jen]

The reason I asked how, you know, good luck to end your relationship. But I just think that this is. This is not the first time that you're gonna have to deal with this. And the fact that you let like I'm trying to think of my parents. If somebody left in the middle of a vacation, regardless of what is going on, they were left there confused and asked questions. And the only people left behind to answer those questions were the sister and the ex girlfriend.

[Bert]

And his mom probably saw what was going. I doubt his dad did, but I bet had he come forward with the mom, she would have said, I understand it.

[Jen]

Or she doesn't. She thinks you were rude. And she likes the ex girlfriend better too.

[Bert]

When is the next time you're supposed to hang out with his family? Is there anything on this?

[Callie]

There's nothing, like on the agenda. Really.

[Bert]

That's a tough spot.

[Jen]

I don't know that sister.

[Bert]

That's a tough spot. Here is Tracy. Good morning. You are on Q100. What's up, Traci?

[Caller]

It's more a message for, like, men out there. It's just always so funny. Men smell other sharks circling in the water.

[Barbara]

So why don't they trust us when

[Caller]

we smell other barracuda in the water?

[Bert]

That's a really good point.

[Caller]

You know, it's like, yes, men are. You are oblivious, God love you at times.

[Bert]

But I mean, yes, she was totally

[Caller]

right on her instincts. And I mean, I think she needs to still kind of just talk to him. Especially if the texts and the phone calls come. Cause I'll bet the farm they are.

[Bert]

I think for me it comes from like a lack of ego thing. It would be more like there's no way that that girl, there's no way she's interested in me. You're making things up right there.

[Jen]

But flip it around. If you were a guy and your girlfriend was taking you on vac with her family and her ex boyfriend was coming, would you be okay with that? Then why is this any Different.

[Bert]

Hey, good morning, Karen. You're on the Burt Show. What's up?

[Caller]

Hey, I just wanted to comment. I think the ex girlfriend is totally playing the sister here, too.

[Heather]

I don't know if the sister's really,

[Caller]

you know, that guilty. She is, but I think the girlfriend, ex girlfriend, is playing the sister, getting close to her so she can get close to the brother.

[Bert]

So what does she do now, though? She's obviously in this nasty situation where she doesn't have a whole bunch of allies in the family. So what do you do?

[Melissa]

I think you just keep moving on with your life. They don't live in town, right? I mean, the next time she's going to see him is maybe over the summer, maybe 4th of July picnic or something, or.

[Bert]

But the ex girlfriend's ex girlfriend lives here.

[Melissa]

Well, I just. I don't think that you need to. I don't think you need to focus that much attention on it. I think you just let her go and if it comes up again where she's going to be around the family, then bring it up and have a conversation with him. But now I say just let her drift away.

[Jen]

I always say, when in doubt, charm the mom. And I always think that you should probably send a thank you note to the mom. Thank you so much for allowing me to be on vacation with you guys. I had such a good time. I'm sorry I had to leave early, but look forward to seeing you again. Charm the mother and you have the son.

[Melissa]

Great idea.

[Teacher Caller]

Yeah.

[Callie]

That is a good idea.

[Bert]

All right, Callie, let's check back with you in a couple of weeks. I'd love to see how this thing unfolds, you know?

[Callie]

Okay.

[Bert]

All right, good luck. You're in a tight spot. That is a really tight spot right there.

[Jen]

But get the parents on your side and everything's good.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Callie]

That's good advice. Thank you.

[Bert]

All right, we'll talk to you in a couple weeks.

[Callie]

K. Okay, thanks.

[Philip]

Bye.

[Bert]

Bye.

[Announcer]

The Bird Show.

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[Bert]

The Bird show decided to do this. This has become my favorite Segment on the bird show. Love Lost.

[Joanna]

Did you believe in destiny?

[Bert]

Destiny, man. There was a reason why Jason was on that shuttle and the reason why she was on that shuttle. And he even told us the last time we had her on, like, his flight was delayed, her flight was delayed. I mean, it shouldn't have happened.

[Joanna]

Right place, right time.

[Bert]

Destiny has brought them together. And here we are. Hey, Jason.

[Jason]

Hey, guys.

[Bert]

What's going on, ma'?

[Philip]

Am?

[Jason]

Just excited, nervous, you name it.

[Melissa]

I'm feeling you got some sweaty palms, even though you're just on the phone,

[Bert]

like you were telling us right before Burt's Big Adventure, that you never even saw the cues. I mean, they were there, but you were so stressed out to get to the hotel that you never even picked up on it.

[Jason]

That's right. It was just. I mean, a lot of things happened before I even got to the shuttle station, you know, and I was just kind of lost, you know, Wasn't sure, you know, where I was supposed to go. Wasn't even know where the shuttle spot was. And so when I finally got there, I was just like, okay, finally, you know, I can get to my hotel now. I just gotta wait. And that's when she. She came down the escalator.

[Bert]

And really, the only thing we had to go on is that she was an AirTran flight attendant and that Soulja Boy was on her flight.

[Jen]

Right?

[Bert]

And based on those two things, we got a bunch of calls and a bunch of messages and posting saying, I think I know who this is. So we found her. Now, at this point, though, we don't know if she's in a long term relationship, we don't know if she's married. Didn't have her ring on. We don't know anything. And we don't know if you were vibing and she wasn't. So this really could go anyway, dude.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Bert]

But at least you'll have some closure.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Clear your throat.

[Jen]

Don't choke this.

[Callie]

Tom.

[Jen]

Yeah, talk to her.

[Bert]

Are you feeling confident?

[Jason]

I'm good.

[Bert]

All right, let's do this. Good morning, Barbara.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Barbara]

Good morning, guys.

[Bert]

How are you this morning?

[Barbara]

I'm pretty well.

[Caller]

How are you?

[Bert]

I'm good. We have to actually rewind. Okay. To last. Oh, is it Wednesday? How did you hear that? We were looking for you. Did people start calling you?

[Barbara]

I was receiving phone calls, Facebook messages, text messages. The biggest. The biggest kicker was Facebook. A friend sent me a message, and I kept reading about the Soulja Boy thing on the flight, and I. I mean, I had him on my flight but, you know, there was a couple other flight attendants, but then as soon as she said the loaf of bread, I was like, oh, my God, that was me.

[Bert]

And refresh my memory again. Like, you carry around a loaf of bread on your flights.

[Barbara]

I don't necessarily carry a loaf of bread. I just had come from unveiling our newest aircraft, and I literally had five minutes to pack, so I grabbed everything that was already packaged in my kitchen, and it included a loaf of bread.

[Jen]

Oh, my God.

[Caller]

That's funny.

[Jen]

That's funny.

[Melissa]

That is really funny.

[Bert]

So he saw. We got to remember that when we're doing Love Lost and found, that any little clue like that is a big clue.

[Jen]

That was the clincher here. Yeah.

[Bert]

Because it wasn't the soldier boy clue. It was the bread clue that got us here. All right, so after your flight, you end up on this hotel shuttle. And do you remember having a conversation with this guy Jason that we're going to put you on with in a couple of seconds?

[Barbara]

I remember not having a full conversation. I remember who he was. I have no sense of direction. And apparently, neither did our crew that night, because we all got on the wrong shuttle going in the wrong direction for 30 minutes and ended up in Arlington, Texas, and we were supposed to be in Dallas.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Barbara]

So, yeah, we weren't even supposed to be on that shuttle, but I was. We were all having our little conversations, and I do remember looking over to him and asking him if he was a normal person or crew. So, yeah, I don't know. I mean, we all just kind of, you know, talked a little bit at the back of the shuttle.

[Bert]

So when you found out that there was a guy that was looking for you like this, were you flattered by it, or were you a little freaked out?

[Barbara]

I was both. I definitely had mixed feelings. I mean, I definitely was flattered. I can't believe he went out of his way to announce it to the. You know, on the radio. But at the same time, it's like, okay, is this creepy stalker kind of flattery or. I don't know. It was a lot of different feelings, so.

[Bert]

Well, only time will tell if this is creepy stalker guy.

[Melissa]

Yeah, Way to make her feel better about it, Bert.

[Bert]

At this point, he could be potentially, like, destiny guy could end up creepy. Who knows?

[Melissa]

Well, we have to ask about your status. What's your relationship status?

[Barbara]

My status is I don't have a boyfriend. However, I am sort of talking and have feelings for this guy that I really do care about, but he's currently serving in Iraq Okay. And I haven't seen him in a couple years, but he's coming home in March, so I don't. I don't know how it's going to play out.

[Bert]

All right, this may be a story in itself here. So you're dating this guy years ago, and he left, and you haven't seen or communicated with him, or you have.

[Barbara]

We haven't started communicating until about a month ago, but we haven't physically seen each other in six years.

[Narrator]

Wow.

[Melissa]

Did you find each other. You just found each other on Facebook like old friends?

[Barbara]

We were both always on Facebook, but being that he's over there. They have. Their communication is totally different. But we just started communicating again because he just got out of a relationship a little while ago, and I got out of a relationship back in October, so everything just kind of fell into place. And so, I don't know, we just. We started talking, and he surprised me, saying he was. He was granted a leave in March, and we're just gonna see what happens.

[Bert]

Does he know you feel the way you do about him, or does he think this is just a friendship thing?

[Barbara]

No, he definitely knows. We've been writing two or three letters a day and Facebooking and just messaging and letters and packages and everything like that.

[Jen]

What's that Nicholas Sparks movie that just

[Barbara]

came out, Dear John. I know, right?

[Jen]

Well, yeah, it's kind of the same thing.

[Barbara]

Yeah, kind of the same thing. I did read the book, and I think the ending probably will be a little different, but.

[Bert]

Don't. Don't say it. Don't say it.

[Narrator]

I won't.

[Caller]

I won't.

[Philip]

I won't. I promise.

[Bert]

Well, Jason, boy, this dude's story is way better than yours.

[Jen]

Oh, dude.

[Bert]

Wow, that is too bad, bro.

[Melissa]

I think you should keep it open. I think you should get Jason's info.

[Shell Representative]

Sure.

[Jen]

And if.

[Melissa]

And if military dude comes back, it may not be what you expect it to be when you're in person.

[Laurie]

Yeah, right.

[Barbara]

No, I understand that. I definitely understand that.

[Bert]

Let's get Jason in on this whole thing. Hey, Jason.

[Jason]

Hey, guys. Hello.

[Bert]

Hey, Barbara. Can you hear him?

[Barbara]

Hi.

[Laurie]

Hello.

[Jason]

Hello.

[Barbara]

I can hear him. Can you hear me?

[Jason]

Yeah, I can hear you guys.

[Caller]

How's it going?

[Jason]

I'm doing good. I was doing a lot better, you know, five minutes ago. But, I mean. No, it's okay, you know, I mean, I knew this was a long shot, you know, but I knew that in Dallas. I just, you know, I didn't pick up on it. And I just want to get to know you, you Know, you seem like a very interesting girl, and I like to see this can go anywhere.

[Bert]

From a distance. I'm sorry, From a distance. At first. Through email. And, you know, she's got. You heard exactly what she said about this dude in Iraq, right?

[Jason]

I heard. I heard every word.

[Caller]

Oh, gosh.

[Barbara]

I don't want to be the bad guy.

[Jen]

You're not.

[Jason]

No, you're not. You know, I took this shot and really, it's. If I make a fool of myself, that's already been done. So you don't even gotta worry about it.

[Jen]

You know, no self deprecation. And I think. Agree with Jen. I think, why not? I mean.

[Melissa]

I mean, yeah, don't close the door closely.

[Jen]

Close the door.

[Melissa]

Cause, yeah, I understand that she's really focused on this other guy at this point, but there's no harm in exchanging information or maybe going to meet for a coffee to see.

[Barbara]

I completely agree.

[Philip]

So.

[Jen]

Okay, good.

[Melissa]

Guess what? I just got you a yes.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Bert]

So that was the hard sell right there. We should just stop.

[Jen]

We gotta say yes.

[Melissa]

Stop right there.

[Jen]

Yeah. So y' all go have a coffee.

[Bert]

And Jason, I'm proud of you for even making a shot. I mean, most people would go, ah, you know what? That time, it's passed. Forget it. And who knows, man? You never know.

[Jason]

I just felt like I had to do something, you know, Put it out there and see what happens.

[Heather]

Sure.

[Jen]

That's right. Get a coffee.

[Bert]

Why don't we do this, Jason? Why don't we give Barbara your information, and when she's ready to give you a call, if she's open to it, then she'll give you a call.

[Philip]

Okay?

[Bert]

That sound cool?

[Jason]

That sounds fine.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Laurie]

All right.

[Bert]

All right, Barbara, thanks a lot for being so cool and coming on with us and telling. I'm really interested now in your story with the dude in the military.

[Jen]

Now, right now we're focused on. Because the military. The military.

[Laurie]

Hold on.

[Jen]

One thing at a time.

[Bert]

With the old and with the new man.

[Jen]

One thing at a time.

[Melissa]

He's already moved on.

[Jen]

He's like a squirrel. No, one thing at a time. Because I do think that you should call Jason and the military dude's not coming for a couple weeks. So go ahead, coffee. Go do this first. And then when he comes back, when Jason's on the phone listening, then I'm gonna talk to her about her military.

[Teacher Caller]

Innocent.

[Joanna]

Coffee's innocent.

[Jen]

So, Bert, don't.

[Bert]

Hey, Jason, before we let you go here. Hey, Philip, Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Philip]

What's up.

[Jason]

Hey, guys. How are you guys doing?

[Bert]

Okay. How are you?

[Jason]

Hey, I'm Philip, Jason's brother.

[Bert]

Yeah,

[Jason]

All I know is, it's okay. She got this thing going on with this other guy, but he's far away. It's a long distance thing. And like they said, you know, just sit down, have a cup of coffee. Don't give up on this, man. Don't give up on this. And, Barbara, you sound like a sweet girl, all right? But, you know, the signs were there. Whether my brother took it wrong or, you know, it. You know, all I know is you guys, you guys met each other out of, like, the weirdest conditions, you know?

[Barbara]

I completely agree. No, I think the circumstances were something to look at. And, I mean, we did find sit on the Runway for three and a half hours trying to get de iced. And I wasn't supposed to be in Dallas at that time. I wasn't supposed to be on that shuttle. And, I mean, I can definitely see where he took it. I mean, being a girl, you know, we do like that. So I definitely can see his point of view now.

[Bert]

Would it be a totally crazy idea, since we're talking about destiny, that Jason really was the agent of destiny, for Philip, his brother, to be with Barbie? I'm just saying. And let's be open up to all ideas.

[Joanna]

Going to have coffee.

[Jen]

Jason didn't do anything to you just started this whole thing, and you just hate him.

[Bert]

Philip, we will set you up.

[Melissa]

I hate him.

[Bert]

You're gonna have dinner with Barbara.

[Jen]

You love this dinner.

[Barbara]

I just thought, my brother doesn't call in.

[Jen]

What is your beef with Jason?

[Bert]

I'm just saying, destiny works in weird ways. Philip really could be destined to be

[Teacher Caller]

with Barbara, you know?

[Jason]

Bert. Bert.

[Jen]

Oh, God.

[Jason]

This is my brother's thing. And I think you're a little bit. You know what? You're just straight up wrong, all right?

[Jen]

Jason is crawling himself into a hole right now. He's like, my brother is calling in and Burt's dogging on me. And this is in front of Barbara.

[Bert]

Phillip, hold on. I'm gonna hook you up with Barbara's digits. Hold on. Jason, thanks a lot for calling, man. And we will give your stuff to Barbara. And when she's ready and she's open to it, she'll give you a call, man.

[Heather]

All right.

[Melissa]

Barbara, thanks for coming on with us, too. That's cool.

[Barbara]

Hey, no problem. But I do have to say he probably would have got better points if he didn't fight Delta on that day.

[Bert]

Hey, the bird show. Hanging out at the pool is great. Relaxing and playing Vegas style games on my phone at the same time. Drink in one hand and a black jack in the other. It's all at spinquest. Over a thousand games, including your favorite slots and table games. Be cool with this summer special. New players get $30 coin packs for

[Announcer]

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[Bert]

The Bird show so Joanna, if she wasn't working on the staff, might email us because she's in a sort of an awkward position right now.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Joanna]

Yeah. So you know, Jason and I have been dating for two years now and Jason's my fiance, in case you guys didn't know. But not boyfriend.

[Jen]

But yeah, my fiance.

[Joanna]

I'm wearing his ring. We live two hours away from one another. He lives in Columbus, Georgia because he's stationed down there and I live here in Atlanta. Well, when he, he's getting out of the army and he's getting out this summer and he's gonna go to school at Emory and it's awesome and I'm really excited for him. But one of our biggest conversations lately is, do we move in with one another when he moves here in the summer? Because I've had this, I've been telling him from day one, I don't want to move in until we're married. Okay, so now we're engaged. Is that the same as being married? But I don't want to compromise what I've been standing and saying. Not till we're married. Not till we're married. Engagement to me. Does that say I can move in with him now or should I still wait until we're married?

[Bert]

What was your reason behind not wanting to move in with each other up until now?

[Joanna]

Well, there's a couple of reasons, you know, One, because of his side of the family. They're very like strict about that. Like you don't live with one another until you get married. And granted, I shouldn't really care what his side, his family thinks or whatever,

[Melissa]

because I think you should.

[Jen]

Yes. You have to respect family.

[Melissa]

I'm glad that that's important to you

[Joanna]

and it's very important. But some people say, well, it should be what you feel and don't.

[Jen]

Not when you're marrying him.

[Joanna]

Right. And I want his parents to respect me as a lady and as a woman as the person who's going to be with him for the rest of

[Jen]

my life because they're going to be your family too. It's not just his parents. This is your family now, Grant.

[Joanna]

Right. Well, they do live out of town, so it's not like they would know if we did live together.

[Bert]

You don't want to do that.

[Jen]

They would know and you would figure it out. But even more important, you said. But what you want is to. What? You're married.

[Joanna]

Yes, because I want there to be something different. I want there to be a difference between dating, engagement and married. You know, I want the next day to pack up all my boxes and move into a place together so we can start that life together and our journey together as a married couple. I don't want it to go from living together, getting married, and still the same, you know, I know it's gonna be the same, but I want there to be something different.

[Jen]

Well, my thought is that you have a say, maybe in where he lives and where he moves to to attend Emory, and then that you just know that that place that you'll move into once you're married, you know. But I don't see why you have to move in with him when he moves to Atlanta.

[Joanna]

Well, because of financial reasons. Because financially it would help him and I out if we lived together. I don't know if it makes sense for us to both be renting two apartments but spending most of our times at one location.

[Bert]

But you're not renting now, right? You're back in with your folks.

[Joanna]

I live at home. I mean, but I don't plan on still living there by next May. You know, I don't think I could do that.

[Melissa]

You're thinking about moving up your engagement, your wedding date?

[Joanna]

I wish I could, but no, we can't, because we're paying for it ourselves, so we need that time to save as well.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I think it's a good idea. If it's what you've always wanted, I think you stick to it, regardless of both rents. I mean, sometimes you just have to do things that aren't practical in order to carve out your life the way you want it to be. It doesn't always have to be practical. So stay with your parents till you get married.

[Bert]

In fact, I'd say the more impractical, the better. Cause again, I mean, when you look at statistics when it comes to marriage, most of them aren't working out. 60% of them aren't working out. So practical and traditional isn't working in our country. So I'm a big old fan of forging your own way.

[Jen]

Well, she's being impractical to end up being. To be traditional, but I think, yeah, I agree with Jen because like. Yeah. What decision would you regret the most?

[Joanna]

I think that I would regret disrespecting his family.

[Jen]

Then that's something you don't do.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Regardless of the sacrifice you have to make, either paying rent for yourself and for him, or staying with your parents that year, it will fly by and then all of a sudden it'll be a blip on the radar. That's something that you guys had to pass through for the next year because

[Jen]

eventually you won't be in financial trouble. And then in the future be like,

[Melissa]

God, if I had.

[Jen]

It was only a year. Jen said it was only a year. If I could have just sacrificed so that I got what I wanted and I could tell my children this story, you know, whatever makes you proud to tell. Because obviously that is something you wanted,

[Bert]

you know, Here is Jessica. Good morning, Jessica. You're on the Burt Show.

[Teacher Caller]

Hey, guys.

[Philip]

What's up?

[Caller]

Joanna, in all honesty, and I am in no way saying that this is going to happen to you, and I really hope it does work out for you, I got married to my now ex husband. We did not live together before we moved in or before we got married. We moved in together and realized we could not live together.

[Melissa]

So how long did you date?

[Caller]

We dated for a year beforehand. So you've got time on me, but you don't. I realize you don't really know a person until you move in with them. You can see them in their at home life and everything like that. Plus it will kind of help you with finances if you're sharing a place. That way you're not putting so much into your rent. He's not putting into his rent. You can put just one rent, you have more to put away.

[Melissa]

Well, as somebody who also has been through divorce, I think you always want to do the opposite of what you did the first time around. So, you know, whereas that, that's your advice because you guys didn't live together and then living together you found all these problems. I would say the other way around. Like I did live with my former husband before we got married and if I ever got married again, I wouldn't want to live together. So you just don't want to repeat, you know, repeat something you feel like was a mistake or you want the pattern to be different the second time around. So I would say be careful on taking advice from somebody you know. And that's why I didn't give you my personal take on it, because it comes from my personal experience. It's like, your decision should be based on what you hold dear, the values you hold near to you, what's important to you with regard to his family.

[Jen]

And another thing that came to mind is that this. This has basically been a long distance relationship up until this point. So I also think that. I mean, mainly based on what you want in your life, which is not to move in until you're married, but also the fact that going from long distance to moving in is a culture shock because he's been in Columbus and you've been here, so you haven't spent every day together, day in and day out. So there's a part of me that thinks there should be a transition where he lives in town, but you don't live together into.

[Melissa]

Very good.

[Jen]

Yeah, we're gonna.

[Bert]

You know, we could take a hundred calls on this, and we'd get opinions on both sides. You know, for me, I think because I came from a divorced marriage and my parents. It was an ugly, ugly divorce. Like, as a kid, I needed to be secure. Like, if I was getting into marriage, it was gonna be one. One time and one time only. So I had to live with Stacy before I married her. I needed that peace of mind. But, you know, like I say, we're gonna take 100 calls here. 50 people are gonna agree. 50 are gonna say no.

[Joanna]

Well, I'd like to say that everyone says, oh, you don't really know someone until you live with them and you don't know their habits. I'm not oblivious to Jason's bad habits. I know they're there, and I just. And I accept them. So it's not like I'm gonna move in with him and then realize he's a messy person. I know that. I go there on the weekends, and I see how messy he is. I know that I'm gonna have to throw out all the rotten food he has in the refrigerator because he hasn't done it for a month. I'm not afraid of that.

[Bert]

Do you know he downloads porn seven hours a day?

[Joanna]

Yeah, because I see it all the

[Melissa]

time on his computer.

[Bert]

That's the kind of thing that you might find out you don't know.

[Jen]

Just like, it's all not his. So, duh. Don't make assumptions.

[Bert]

Hey, Laurie, you're on The Burt Show, Q100. Hi.

[Philip]

Hey, you guys. Oh, my goodness, Joanna, I applaud you.

[Bert]

I did it.

[Philip]

My husband and I have been married 10 years now, and we did not move in before we were married. We held out. We even built a house. No one moved into the house. The house sat still for a month because it was done before our wedding date. And that's a story that we tell our two kids now that, you know, it was a sweet engagement. It was a nice courtship. When you get married, you're going to go through an adjustment period. Everybody's not going to be perfect. You're not going to be perfect, honey, because Jason's going to probably tell you about some things that.

[Bert]

That concept is so foreign to Joanna that she might not be perfect.

[Jen]

She doesn't understand that part of the

[Philip]

adjustment period that you. That's going to be so wonderful, and that's going to solidify your love for him and his love for you. So hold out. Wait a year. A year. I mean, people make it too. Too easy. Hold out. I mean, you enjoy the courtship.

[Bert]

Thanks, Laurie.

[Jen]

And, you know, I've in the past been publicly critical about people who live at home, except in the recession. You get a pass in the recession, but unless you're planning on something, and this is something big, this is your marriage. Because my best friend growing up did the same thing. She did. It wasn't building a house, but they had an apartment that sat empty. And then they saved money to buy furniture in that time to go into that apartment as they were planning their wedding. So that on their wedding night, that is where they went before they took their trip somewhere else. So, I mean, I do think that's cool.

[Melissa]

That's a great idea.

[Jen]

So if you lived at home and you are saving money for a specific purpose, which is to furnish someplace or for your wedding, whatever, I think that's justified. You know, I don't know if this

[Bert]

helps or not, but I know looking back at it now, I mean, I've been married 13 years now. 13 years. Same woman, 16 years. And looking back at it now, it wouldn't have mattered one way or the other had we moved in with each other beforehand, or not. Looking back at it, man, it seems so foreign to me. It just wouldn't have mattered, really.

[Jen]

Is it different for a guy, though, in what you want before your wedding day?

[Melissa]

Well, I think there's less pressure on a guy of being judged.

[Jen]

Right, right.

[Melissa]

Like, you know, the families or whatever I feel like are gonna judge the woman in that decision more than they're gonna judge the man.

[Bert]

Maybe.

[Jen]

So, not to take credibility away, what you said, but I'm just wondering if Stacy has the same opinion.

[Bert]

I don't know. We could get her on. Although I don't think she listens to this morning. Show. Hey, Rachel. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller]

Good morning, guys.

[Jen]

Hey.

[Caller]

I just want to say, like, when I met my husband, we were both in a foreign country and it was definitely rent wise, it was much cheaper to live together. And so we started living together two weeks after we even met each other, which is crazy, but. And then when we moved to Atlanta, we kept on living together. And we've been, I mean, we went through the whole engagement living together. And then we got married and we're still married now, and it's going great. And I just, I personally recommend it just because you grow. I mean, getting married and all of a sudden living together and learning everybody's habits. I mean, you can. It's an adjustment period and you have these high expectations and you build yourself up to your wedding day. And then all of a sudden, you know, you're living. You have all this, I guess it's like the wedding blues. And when people live together for that, for all of a sudden, and then they just get freaked out and they have all these fights. And I just think it's such a great idea to know what it's all about. And if she's already living at home, just stay there maybe and kind of live part time with him and then live part time at home. That way it's not a full time commitment at his place.

[Bert]

I've got the solution. Move him in with your parents and live there for your entire marriage. Maybe that's what we need.

[Shell Representative]

That'll help the department.

[Joanna]

My mom does like baking him cakes and stuff, so I think he would like that too.

[Jen]

He would love that.

[Joanna]

But her point is valid about if you guys do fight and have an argument in the home, that's a little different than arguing two hours away. So if you live together, you have to deal with that. Where do you go? Do you stay in the house when you argue? Do you go to separate rooms? Do you separate on that point?

[Jen]

That's gonna happen anyway, though. You don't fight anyway.

[Joanna]

And we had that conversation just the other day. I said, well, what's gonna happen when you move here? Does this mean. Do I still only see you on the weekends? Like, it's weird. Like, I don't know what the next step is. And I said, and if we fight, are you allowed to kick me out? Or do we, like, work it out? Like, I don't get it. I don't know what to do.

[Bert]

I can understand the desire to have that kind of. What's the word I'm looking for? Just that kind of excitement that you don't know is part of the excitement on why you probably shouldn't move in with them now. Like, learning how to do those things when you're married to me could be exciting also.

[Jen]

I just think it'd be too much of a culture shock. I gotta be honest with you. I think that there's so many couples. I think I would love to see the statistics on couples who were long distance and then moved in together, because I don't think that percentage is gonna be good either.

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Bert]

Hey, Dion. Good Morning. You're on Q1.

[Laurie]

Hi, Bert. How you doing?

[Bert]

Okay. Thanks for calling. What's up?

[Laurie]

My husband and I just had this very same conversation, and we were talking about it just the other day. We're happily married with two children, and we did the traditional thing. We didn't live together before we got married, and we regret it because his job was, like, five minutes down the road from my apartment, and he went and bought a condo just so that we could, you know, stay safe in front of both of our parents. And, you know, because they're more traditional. And we look back on it, and we're just like, that was crazy because we could have saved so much money. And it was just to. Just to appease them. And I feel like you should start your own family culture, because you never know. I mean, his sister is now getting ready to move in with some guy, and nobody's saying anything. And we have kids, and we were thinking, traditionally, your grandparents are around and help you out.

[Bert]

They're not helping us out, like, to,

[Laurie]

you know, just go away. Do away with what you think that other people might think and just do what feels best for you, because that really probably would have been best for us. But we were thinking about everybody else.

[Melissa]

Don't you think, though, that it set up the relationship with your future in laws, that you respected them and you respected their wishes, so you enter into that family with their respect, right?

[Laurie]

We entered into that family with respect and expectation, though they had expectation of us, and we had expectation of them. And so I don't necessarily. I mean, everybody's happy. Go, lucky. But our expectations weren't met, and we tried so hard to meet theirs.

[Bert]

There really is no right or wrong answer. The only right answer is what's right for you and Jason. You know, advice is such crap when it comes to relationships. It really is when it comes to relationships. You know, we had Tracy on earlier than this morning, and we were talking about how she was mothering do you have the child in the bed with you or not? It is all crap because you're so unique. She's unique, Scott's unique, their child is unique, you're unique, Jason's unique, and it's a unique situation. Do what you want to do, but

[Jen]

we all love to judge. Whatever you do, we're going to tell

[Joanna]

you screwed up for you to judge me.

[Melissa]

Everybody's advice is going to come from their personal experience. If their experience and the way they did it is working for them, that's their advice. If they went through it and it didn't work for them, they're going to give you the opposite advice. So really what it comes down to is do what you want.

[Bert]

Yeah. And if people listen to me and did what they wanted and didn't care about advice, we would have no show. So let's not go with that theory. Hey, the bird show.

[Joanna]

Hey, everybody.

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