Full Show PT 1: Thursday, March 12 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Thursday, March 12 [Vault] (Aired March 12, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers the signature mix of humor, authenticity, and relatable life moments, focusing on two main segments: a deeply spooky investigation with the Atlanta Ghost Hunters, and an intense listener call-in debate about proposing marriage despite clear partner reluctance. The episode also features classic holiday outtakes, including a hilariously bad Christmas audition tape, ensuring a good balance of scares and laughs.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. Atlanta Ghost Hunters Return: Spooky Holiday Haunt (00:45 – 14:45)

Main Theme

The Atlanta Ghost Hunters join the show to reveal findings from their latest investigation at a mysterious outdoor airplane crash storage site in the Southeast—just in time for the holidays.

Key Discussion Points

• Frequent Guest Tradition: The GH team is now a monthly fixture, not just for Halloween (00:54).
• Case Setup: The investigation takes place at a storage location for crashed airplanes and helicopters (01:43). Brea, who works at the facility, assisted.
• The Process: Recorders are placed in empty, closed aircraft and left recording, often with no one nearby for hours (05:07, 06:34).
• Audio Reveals:
  • Unexplained Sigh & "Tony"/"Help Me": Mysterious audio, possibly of someone sighing and/or a voice saying “Tony” or “Help me” (05:49–06:12).
    • “First thing that I think it says is Tony.” – Andy (05:56)
  • “Meow” Segment Debate: Discussion around a possible “meow” or “let me out/help me” sound (07:20–07:29).
  • Child’s Voice in Office: Playback of a whispery “Hey” caught near the office (08:43–08:54).
  • Clear Ghostly Statement: Most chilling – a distinct voice saying “He panicked, but he quit flying the airplane” during an unrelated discussion (09:53–10:09).
    • “Tell me that ain’t jacked up.” – Andy (10:06)
    • “There’s nobody in there.” – Host (Birch) (10:09)
• Day vs. Night Investigations:
  • Andy: “I don’t think it matters. The only thing I think nighttime is a bit better is traffic.” (08:06)
• Brea’s Experience: Admits to feeling chills, spooked walking around, confirms employees often share stories after odd feelings in certain locations (13:10–13:35).
• Professional Credibility: Ghost Hunters do investigations for free, not for pay, to minimize concerns of fabrication (02:48).

Notable Quotes

• “Nothing says Christmas like a ghost.” – Andy (01:11)
• “Spirits are around all year long.” – Co-host (01:13)
• "Still sitting in my car, not going in the door yet." – Brea (11:08)
• “Most stuff just comes at, you know, and you find out after the fact, once you go back and listen to the audio tapes.” – Andy (13:43)

Memorable Moments

• The tense playback of inexplicable audio, especially the clear, responsive “He panicked, but he quit flying the airplane” clip – everyone agrees on its chilling clarity (09:53–10:09).
• Brea laughing nervously about being “glad I’m not the one having to turn on the lights this morning” (02:44).

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2. Listener Drama – "Should I Propose?" (16:22 – 25:59)

Main Theme

Kimberly, a confident listener, seeks advice about proposing marriage to her long-term boyfriend at his family gathering—even though he’s repeatedly said he’s not the marrying type.

Key Discussion Points

• Kimberly’s Plan: Propose in front of boyfriend’s family (and meet them for the first time), confident he’ll say yes (16:28–16:50).
• Cautions & Criticisms:
  • Callers warn Kimberly is ignoring major red flags, as her boyfriend’s views on marriage are clear (17:16–18:14).
  • “He knows I’m not like that. I mean, he doesn’t want to get married.” – Kimberly (19:46)
  • Multiple hosts and callers urge privacy for the proposal, not a public spectacle (21:19–21:41).
  • Story shared about a man with clear boundaries leading to an eventual breakup after his wife thought he’d change post-marriage (21:41-22:24).
• The Debate of Change:
  • “That goes back to what, women change in guys. They’re like, oh, he says he’s not into marriage, but he just doesn't know it yet.” – Host (Birch) (21:33)
  • Some argue for “taking a chance” (go for it), others for respecting his stated wishes and being cautious (23:00–23:49).
• Kimberly’s Reasoning: Claims she wants only the marriage, not the wedding or the ring, and is willing to adjust (e.g., sign a prenup): “I want him to know that it’s about that commitment for me and not some pageantry” (24:04).
• Hosts’ Closing Advice: Most still urge caution, even as Kimberly insists she’s pressing ahead no matter what.

Notable Quotes

• “I think she is absolutely crazy.” – Caller Sherry, warning Kimberly (17:16)
• “It should be a personal thing. And especially since you and he have to have a serious conversation about your future. I think your proposal should be in private.” – Co-host (20:36)
• “You ignore it. You choose to ignore it. He’s telling you right now, he’s not for marriage. That’s not him.” – Host (Birch) (21:27)

Memorable Moments

• Candid stories from listeners about the dangers of ignoring a partner’s stated intentions.
• Lively, passionate on-air debate on whether true love can change someone’s core beliefs—or just end in heartbreak.

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3. Holiday Comic Relief – "Oh Holy Night" Audition Tape (28:05 – 33:43)

Main Theme

The show plays a three-minute audition tape for a church Christmas solo—note: listeners are sternly warned to “commit” and listen all the way through, or they’ll miss the best (worst?) parts.

Key Discussion Points & Fun

• Hosts build up the “so-bad-it’s-good” performance, comparing it to early American Idol auditions (29:28–29:54).
• The group giggles (and sometimes cringes) through the off-key singing, with comments like:
  • “He spilled something hot on his testicles.” – Host (Birch), on a particularly painful high note (32:06).
  • “I want to go caroling with him.” – Host (Birch) (32:30).
  • “Oh my God. I’ve got tears.” – Brea, laughing (31:26).
• Callers join in, with Amber: “That was absolutely, absolutely painful… it hurt to listen to.” (33:36–33:42)

Memorable Moments

• Genuine laughter all around as everyone is forced to stick out the entire “committed” audition (31:26, 33:41).

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Nothing says Christmas like a ghost.” – Andy (01:11)
• “Tell me that ain't jacked up.” – Andy, after replaying the chilling audio (10:06)
• “He panicked, but he quit flying the airplane.” – Ghostly audio clip (09:53–10:09)
• “It should be a personal thing. ... I think your proposal should be in private.” – Co-host (20:36)
• “I want him to know that it’s about that commitment for me and not some pageantry.” – Kimberly (24:04)
• “He spilled something hot on his testicles.” – Host (Birch), reacting to bad audition (32:06)
• “Oh my God. I’ve got tears.” – Brea (31:26)
• “That was absolutely, absolutely painful… it hurt to listen to.” – Amber, caller (33:36–33:42)

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Summary Table of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Title | Highlights | |------------|----------------------------------------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:45–14:45| Atlanta Ghost Hunters: Haunted Crash Site | Ghost audio clips, spooky stories, Brea’s experiences | | 16:22–25:59| Listener Proposal Debate: Kimberly’s Dilemma | Calls, advice, gender roles, red flags discussion | | 28:05–33:43| “Oh Holy Night” Audition Tape | Bad singing, laughter, holiday comic relief |

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Conversational, sarcastic, warm, and sprinkled with dramatic storytelling, chuckles, and the tight-knit camaraderie that fans of The Bert Show love.
• The episode balances holiday spooks, relationship reality checks, and infectious group laughter.

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Great for Listeners Who…

• Love the blend of paranormal intrigue and real-life relationship drama.
• Appreciate offbeat holiday content and group banter.
• Want an authentic, laugh-out-loud morning radio experience.

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Transcript

[Jey Uso]

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[Andy]

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[Brea]

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[Brea]

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[Host (Birch)]

The Birch Show. We decided because at Halloween we would have the folks from Atlanta Ghost Hunters and welcome back to the studio. Andy. How are you, sir?

[Andy]

I'm doing great.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

What's up?

[Host (Birch)]

We would have them back and join us every day in the week leading up to Halloween. And it's always so well received that we decided that once a month on the last Friday of every month, we'd have Atlanta Ghost Hunters back in studio. So thank you so much for joining us.

[Andy]

Thanks for having us.

[Host (Birch)]

No, it's a busy time of year, so we appreciate you.

[Andy]

You know, nothing says Christmas like a ghost.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Well, spirits are around all year long.

[Andy]

Absolutely.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Right.

[Andy]

Day and night.

[Host (Birch)]

Have you ever had a ghost wish you like a happy holidays? Like are they aware of time? Like are they aware that it's Christmas time? I wonder.

[Andy]

I have never been greeted with a holiday cheer. No, I haven't. I've been greet greeted with four letter words, but never with holiday cheer.

[Host (Birch)]

What is. Am I saying? Is it Brea?

[Andy]

Brea? Yes. Okay.

[Host (Birch)]

Hi Brea. Welcome to the bird show.

[Brea]

Hey. Good morning.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Good morning.

[Host (Birch)]

And it was your house. You invited them in.

[Andy]

Actually, not a house.

[Host (Birch)]

Not a house.

[Andy]

Not a house. I'll just set it up real quick. This is a place where crashed airplanes are stored

[Host (Birch)]

us about this.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's somewhere in the southeast. We want to keep it real quiet. There's some. They just want to keep it quiet

[Host (Birch)]

at the local sense.

[Andy]

Exactly. They don't want people coming out and wandering around things along those lines. This is where crashed airplanes are housed.

[Host (Birch)]

Is this like when you see that news coverage where they're kind of putting them back together to find out how it happened and then there's just like big rooms full of parts and. And planes and that does go on fuselages and all that stuff.

[Andy]

Pretty much the part that we had access to was the outdoor portion where they were being stored prior to. Prior to, I guess, being put back together and figuring out what happened.

[Host (Birch)]

Okay, and Brea was assisting you on this, or does she work with that organization?

[Andy]

She works with that organization. All right. Hey, Brea.

[Brea]

Hey. Good morning.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Good morning.

[Host (Birch)]

So Brea's there every day. Her and the ghosts.

[Brea]

I'm glad I'm not the one having to turn on the lights this morning.

[Host (Birch)]

And the way this works is the Atlanta ghost hunters don't get paid for the services they do. Like, they go out there because they have a love of this and they like the chase and everything. So sometimes they find stuff, sometimes they don't. Like, obviously, if they were getting paid, you would be like, oh, they're making stuff up in order to earn their money. But they don't get paid for this. So they just go out there and they collect this audio. And if you are on the radio with us, they don't share that audio with you until you hear it for the first time live on our show.

[Andy]

This is the reveal.

[Host (Birch)]

You obviously have assumed by now that we have found something, or else we wouldn't be wasting time with you on radio. I would advise you to take a seat and get ready for a long day at work today.

[Brea]

Awesome.

[Andy]

And get out of there before it gets dark. Right.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

And we don't know either here in the studio what he found either, but

[Andy]

we certainly did find something.

[Host (Birch)]

It's all yours, Andy. Tell us the story. Okay.

[Andy]

Outdoor investigation's real tough. You've got the wind aspect. This was right next to an airport where there's a lot of. Lot of noise that the planes taking off and landing. And there's just a lot going on. So outdoor investigations are real tough. But there was crashed vehicles all over the place, and one of them that we definitely wanted to spend some time with was a helicopter crash. Looked like it was a pretty messed up crash. There was a gentleman there that actually kind of told us the stories of. Of what happened with this crash and how many victims were inside. And this particular helicopter just, for whatever reason, just drew my attention. We need to put a recorder in this helicopter and just leave it and walk off. So that's what we did. The first couple of them that we caught were actually in this helicopter. Everything is just dead silence inside this helicopter. And this is the very first thing that we caught, Which I don't know what it is, but it sounds like somebody with a very heavy Sigh.

[Host (Birch)]

I definitely hear the second thing. I couldn't hear the sign. Yeah. Now the second part of that. Was there anyone close enough to the helicopter that could have been somebody's voice in the background?

[Andy]

It's very difficult to tell because I didn't have a video camera on that particular helicopter at the time. I mean, this place was gigantic. There was very, very difficult to get the entire place covered. So I don't know if there was somebody relatively close. That's why I didn't even put the meow thing in there because it very well could have been. I don't know. So the next one was also in the air, in the helicopter. And the first thing that came to my mind, it sounds like Tony. Okay, but there, it's a two syllable word. Whatever this is, there's two syllables. It may say help me, I don't know. But the first thing that I think it says is Tony.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

It's interesting. It sounds like Tony.

[Host (Birch)]

Tony.

[Andy]

It sounds like Tony. There was no Tony's with us that day, so. But that one again, in a helicopter, gate closed. There's. There's no, no one in this, in this thing. And that certainly wasn't a cat, but it definitely sounds like Tony. Or help me. Something. That's two syllables.

[Host (Birch)]

The thing that's so freaky about this is that you have to remember these recorders are set up in completely empty spaces. So like, you know, you can't dismiss it for like a voice in the background or a voice in the next room because I'm imagining that you set this up and then you walk away, quarter mile away, and you're looking at a, you know, some other plane or something.

[Andy]

Absolutely. And we just left it and walked away. And, you know, sometimes you. Sometimes you can do that and you can get a whole bunch of stuff. Sometimes you can leave it and just listen to dead air for two or three hours.

[Host (Birch)]

Hey, Wendy.

[Brea]

Yes?

[Host (Birch)]

What did you think the meow on the first one said? Get out, get out, get out. Okay, let's listen to that one again. Sean, I can hear that. I can hear me out at the end. You know what? Hey, Lindell. Lindell, if you're listening, clip that just so it's the meow. And we'll play it one more time before we get out of here. I don't know why I'm calling it

[Co-host (possibly female)]

the meow, but it's funny how the meow. Well, I mean, if you take the tea out of. I mean, if that meows and then we just have to figure out what the first word is in it.

[Andy]

And whatever the tone of your help me is also, you know, sounds like a female voice as well. It could be the same person. Who knows, Let me out. Help me. You know, kind of what they're saying.

[Host (Birch)]

I don't think anybody should do any haunting around Christmas. I don't think it's right.

[Andy]

Well, you know, the fun part about this is this was done during the daytime. It was. It was a pretty dangerous investigation. There was lots of shards of metal and parts and parts everywhere, and we couldn't do it at nighttime. It was. It just would have been very, very dangerous. And, you know, we're all volunteers. We're not going to go out there and, you know, get it cutting our foot and have to get a tetanus shot. Right.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Do you think. Now, you mentioned about daytime and nighttime. Do you find that you capture more at nighttime than daytime?

[Andy]

I don't think it matters. The only thing I think nighttime is a bit better is traffic. You know, the outside noise tends to die down after people get home from work and all that stuff. All right, the next one that we've got was actually inside the office space. This kind of happened early on in the investigation.

[Host (Birch)]

Is this where Brea works?

[Andy]

Yes, it shows. This is right there in the office area. And we were just talking about kind of who owns the planes, what's happens with them, and we'll just set it up, but she basically says they pay to keep them here. And you'll hear a little girl's voice say, hey, yeah.

[Brea]

And they pay. Yeah, yeah. Long storage on them. You could hear it?

[Host (Birch)]

I didn't hear it. Play it again.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Brea]

And they pay. Yeah, yeah. Long storage on them.

[Andy]

Just real light.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Hey.

[Andy]

Just real light. So it sounds like to me. So this next one is the one that got me. I was like, oh, okay. All right. So this.

[Host (Birch)]

I want to hear that hey, one. One more time, though.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Brea]

And they paid. Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

It's right up against the microphone.

[Host (Birch)]

I hate the whispery ones.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

The child toys is scary. I'm here.

[Andy]

Yes. So this next one's real cool, though. This is. You'll. You'll hear a gentleman talking in the background, and he's explaining to us what happened at this particular accident. And he was explaining that basically the guy should have made it back. He couldn't read. He couldn't fly on instruments. I heard you, Jeff, talking earlier about the. The flight had to go back because he couldn't read the instru. Instruments. And that's kind of a key thing. You need to know how to land your plane with. With the instruments. And that's what happened on this particular one. So go ahead and play it. And at the very end, you'll hear a voice that just basically says, he panicked, but he quit flying the airplane.

[Host (Birch)]

The engine wasn't locked up at the impact site.

[Andy]

So if the engine's not locked up, it means the engine was still running and he was within a mile of the airport. He probably should have made the Runway. Wow.

[Brea]

Oh, my God.

[Andy]

Tell me that ain't jacked up.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Oh, my God.

[Host (Birch)]

There's nobody in there.

[Andy]

Nobody. No, nobody around us. At that point, you hear him talking, and at the end, it almost talks on top. On top of him. And this is one of the cool ones, because it actually, you know, that was loud. Yes, it was none of those. I love it when they respond to what you're talking about. You're not asking him a question. He wasn't asking this. This was just in the middle of an explanation.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

She's trying to make sure that y' all knew what happened.

[Andy]

He panicked. So this one is intellig.

[Caller/Listener]

Play that again.

[Andy]

But he quit flying the airplane.

[Host (Birch)]

The engine wasn't locked up at the impact site.

[Andy]

So if the engine's not locked up, it means the engine was still running and he was within a mile of the airport. He probably should have made the Runway. Wow.

[Brea]

I don't know what that is.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

That's got to be somebody in that plant.

[Andy]

It had to have been either somebody just listening to what he was talking about.

[Host (Birch)]

Did you now, you play that back. Hey, Bray, did you hear that?

[Brea]

Yes, I did.

[Host (Birch)]

How's that make you feel?

[Brea]

Still sitting in my car, not going in the door yet

[Host (Birch)]

now, is it? When you hear something like that, like you said, I forgot who was telling this, but you sit in your car a lot of times and listen back to this.

[Andy]

As soon as we finish, we plug in the audio and start listening.

[Host (Birch)]

On the way home, listen. So you're listening to that. So you hear something like that, you almost shut everything off and go, now, wait a minute. Who else was in there with us?

[Andy]

Absolutely.

[Host (Birch)]

And you start.

[Andy]

This is outside, though. This was outside. And the only people that were with us at this point, Katie, Ruth, a little girl that was with us here last time, she had already left at this point. It was the guy talking. And then I had a husband, wife, investigator. The wife does not sound like this. This kind of sounds like a very Southern twang. If you play one more. I zoomed in on. He panicked. I would love to Find out on that plane, Bray, if you can. He probably remembers which plane this was. If you'll find out if there was a woman on that plane as well.

[Brea]

Definitely.

[Andy]

So that would be interesting to me.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

What I find fascinating is you have brought in audio from, let's say, spirits. We don't know where this comes from. It's almost like they can barely get through. So it's either a whisper or we've had almost like a robotic voice that comes through. But, I mean, yeah, that is the most clear, loud.

[Andy]

Except for the sample, I think that one Touch Me, Daddy in the safe. I mean, so we've definitely had some that are extremely clear. This one. What I like about this one, though, is it is truly responding to what we're talking about. Yeah. It's saying he goes on to say that, you know, he should have been able to land this plane. There's no doubt about it. And this is just a perfect example.

[Host (Birch)]

Ashley, go ahead. You're on with Brea and Andy.

[Brea]

Hey, Braya, I was just wondering, we didn't really get to hear your part of the story, like, maybe what had you been experiencing that made you call the ghost hunters in the first place?

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Right.

[Brea]

It's just one of those. Trying to explain it. Just spooky when you have to walk out there, you know what I mean? Or when you're walking through certain places, you just get chills, you know, I think the guys experience it more than, you know, we do in the front, but, yeah, definitely.

[Host (Birch)]

So is it something you guys talk about, like, the guys who are out there actually working with the equipment, is it something where. Where, like, they come into the office and go, yeah, there's something out there today.

[Brea]

Yes. Oh, yeah, that's freaky.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Wow, that one was freaky.

[Host (Birch)]

Yep. Didn't like. Didn't like the. Didn't like that last one.

[Andy]

You know, most stuff just comes at, you know, and you find out after the fact, once you go back and listen to the audio tapes.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Unreal. Wow.

[Host (Birch)]

Oh, Bray, thank you so much for calling them and letting them do it on the radio.

[Brea]

Oh, yes, thank you. And thank you, Andy.

[Andy]

Absolutely. Thank you so much. That is.

[Host (Birch)]

That's definitely gonna go down in the record books.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Oh, my goodness. Thank you, Andy.

[Andy]

Absolutely.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

As always.

[Host (Birch)]

That's a nice little Christmas gift for the Atlanta Ghost Hunters, right?

[Andy]

That's right.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

And your investigations are on your website all the time.

[Andy]

They are, yeah. And we'll have this one updated on the website later on this afternoon. It's AtlantaGoHunters.com and yeah. Check in, send an email if you got anything. We'll come check it out.

[Host (Birch)]

Hey, how do people get in touch with Andy?

[Andy]

AtlantaGhostHuntersahoo.com and we are running a we need a whole bunch of new equipment right now. Like we said, everything we do is for free. So we are running a special right now if you want to go on an investigation with the Atlanta Ghost Hunters and a portion of the proceeds is going to go to Burt's Big Adventure. So that's awesome. Email us@atlantagosthunters yahoo.com we'll get you the details. Wow.

[Host (Birch)]

Thanks a lot for coming in Andy.

[Andy]

Thanks guys. Merry Christmas to everybody.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Merry Christmas.

[Caller/Listener]

Merry Christmas.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Merry Christmas.

[Host (Birch)]

The Burt show

[Jey Uso]

what's up foos? Main Event J uso here from the wwe when it's just me between matches it's day one ish and that means it's Chumba time. With hundreds of casino style games and new titles arriving weekly, there's always something fresh to try at Chumba Casino. The daily boost make it even more fun and have me bout to get em all during my downtime. Ready for a fun way to chill out and enjoy a few minutes for yourself? Let's Chumba.

[Andy]

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[Caller/Listener]

We just took this phone call from Kimberly about 10 minutes ago. She's taking matters into her own hands.

[Brea]

It's interesting because he had said before that he wasn't the marrying type. And, you know, if you're together, you're together. But I really feel with 100% certainty that he's gonna say yes. He's the love of my life, and he's terrific. I'm really excited.

[Caller/Listener]

And you're that sure he's gonna say yes? You're that sure he's gonna be as excited as you are?

[Brea]

I am positive.

[Caller/Listener]

So that's Kimberly saying she's not only proposing marriage to her boyfriend at his home in front of his family, but it's the first time that she's ever gonna actually meet his family also, and

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

she's gonna pull his dad aside and ask his permission.

[Host (Birch)]

That's awesome.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning, Sherry. You are on Q100.

[Host (Birch)]

Hi.

[Andy]

Hi.

[Brea]

How are you doing?

[Caller/Listener]

I'm okay. You got some advice here for Kimberly?

[Brea]

Yes. I think she is absolutely crazy. Okay. Have you considered that this might be a huge step for him, considering he already has issues with marriage? Like, just the fact that you're meeting his family, he's allowing you into his family presence, That's. That's probably a huge step for him. So if you turn around and do this thing, this proposal or whatever, that's going to completely scare him off, and he's going to say, well, at least I found out she was crazy before I married her. Because that's probably why he's afraid to get married. Most men aren't afraid of the commitment part of it. They're afraid of getting committed and then realizing that the person turns out to be a nut as soon as they. They put the ring on the finger. So to go into his family space and then for the first time. For the first time, and then propose to him in public when you. He's already told you that he's not ready for marriage. That's inconsiderate and kind of selfish and really, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.

[Caller/Listener]

Have you guys actually, like, gone and looked at rings and, I mean, talked about a life together and the actual ceremony and all that?

[Brea]

We've not talked. We've not. We've. No. We've never gone to, you know, to, like, look at rings, but we've definitely talked about a lifetime together, and both of us really want children. That much I know for sure. And it isn't really. I mean, it is. The caller was right in the fact that it's the first time that physically I've met his parents. But I know, like I said, I talked to, you know, we're friends on, like, his sister and I, you know, like, we're friends on Facebook and stuff like that. So we talk and we chat. So his family knows me. They're just so far that I've never actually been there, and he's met my family, you know, and we've gone on vacations together, you know, so it's not like I was like this secret girlfriend, and now this is the. It's like this. The first moment I'm being revealed, you know, it's not like that at all. Like, they know that we're serious.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, I'm not concerned about that part. I mean, I wish I was in the room or I've been in the room where I've seen his attitude about marriage. Because if it's a flippant, like, oh, honey, you know what marriage is.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

I mean. Yes, but we don't have to do that. That's one thing. Or there's the. I'm just not for marriage. It's just a piece of paper, and our relationship is our relationship, and I don't ever see myself getting married. Is it different?

[Brea]

It's so funny because that's scarily accurate. That's almost like verbatim what he said.

[Caller/Listener]

Which time? The first example or the second?

[Brea]

The second one where he said, you know, marriage is just a piece of paper, and I don't really know if it's for me. But also, too, like the lady had said who just called, you know, that most men are afraid because they're gonna, I don't know, marry some nutjob or whatever. But he knows, you know, I'm not like that. I mean, he doesn't want to get married.

[Caller/Listener]

He's telling you.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

If he doesn't want to get married at all, why put yourself in the position to be embarrassed in front of his family?

[Brea]

Well, you know, the way I figure it, I really. I honestly. I don't have anything to lose because I. Other than, like. Other than this relationship. I want to get married. I want to have children, but I. I don't want my children not to have a legal father. So if it does come down to that, I mean, I'm not saying we'll break up immediately, but I really want to. Want to be married if we're going to have children.

[Andy]

All right.

[Caller/Listener]

It's that important to you? Okay.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Yeah. I'm not. I don't want to give you any Advice that's hypocritical. If you were a guy, would I say the same thing? You know, so there's plenty of women out there who make a stink about marriage, and then the guy still proposes because he wants to propose. So that's not my issue with Kimberly. My issue with Kimberly is in front of the family, and especially the first time. Regardless of if you've known the family for the whole time we know, we say so. It is such a dangerous thing, and it should be a personal thing. And especially since you and he have to have a serious conversation about your future. I think your proposal should be in private. To launch into that conversation you just told us about. I want to be a mother. I want to have a legal husband, and. Or I'm not going to pick up my life and move.

[Caller/Listener]

I see with us with women all the time where guys tell you things that they tell you how they're feeling, yet you don't believe it.

[Host (Birch)]

You ignore it.

[Caller/Listener]

You choose to ignore it. He's telling you right now, he's not for marriage. That's not him.

[Host (Birch)]

But that goes back to what women change in guys. They're like, oh, he says he's not into marriage, but he just. He just doesn't know it yet.

[Caller/Listener]

Look, one of my really good friends ended up getting divorced a couple of months ago. He told his girlfriend at the time, I just want to let you know, if you're gonna sign up for me, that means no kids. I do not want to have children. It's just not part of my makeup. I don't want to be a dad, but if you want to be with me, we can be with each other. So she said, okay, I get it. Let's get married. They get married. He's a year into the relationship. She starts pressuring him to have kids. He gets a vasectomy and says, look, I told you, this is where I'm at. Never having kids. Never, never, never. She's living across the country now. He's living here. They're divorced. But he told her right off the bat. But she thought, well, once he gets into marriage, change a little bit, be in love. He'll see, you know, start hanging around other family.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

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[Co-host (possibly female)]

Right. But I also think that to be serious about a Marriage, you can't be so stickler on every. Now, kids is very important. I mean, absolutely. That's a make or break. I know a couple. Same situation. But I think also if this. This is how I am, this is how I'm always going to be. Whatever you. I don't think you're a great candidate for marriage in general if you have that kind of attitude.

[Caller/Listener]

I mean, there's something you'll never change. Hey, Mandy. Go ahead.

[Brea]

I tell her to go for it because there's nothing wrong, I don't think, with taking a chance. But if he says no, at least she'll know he's not gonna marry her. I mean, so I tell her to go for it.

[Caller/Listener]

So what is the harm then? I mean, if you're really using this to see if he's at all open to marriage, then what is the harm in doing it in private rather than in front of the family?

[Brea]

Well, that's part of the reason is that's why I'm asking his dad, you know, the night before, because he's always talking about his dad, you know, like he. He's really, really close to him. Even though I talk to his mom on the telephone, I figure, you know, if his dad, you know, says yes, then of course I'm going to do it, you know, but if he. I mean, I'm going to do it either way, to tell you the truth, whether or not he, you know, gives me the approval.

[Caller/Listener]

So even if the father says. Even if the father says, look, you know that whatever his name is, Andy is anti marriage. You know that. You know, this is not part of his future. Right. So, no, I can't really give my blessing. You're still gonna go for it in front of the family?

[Brea]

I still will, yes. And let me. I want to be really, really, really, really clear, okay? I don't want a wedding. I want a marriage. Okay? I don't need to have, like, if it's. If it's the big, you know, like, $30,000 wedding and all that. I don't. I don't need that. Okay? We can just go to the courthouse. Like, nobody else even has to. Well, I guess I. Well, his parents. Yeah. And his family. I say nobody has to know but his family. You know, I mean, it's just something, you know, personal for me. And like I said, I'll sign any prenup. I'll do whatever I need to do on my end to help him feel comfortable with that. Like I said, I'm not doing it to get this big Lavish wedding. And look at me, look at me. I want a big engagement ring. That's exactly why I'm doing it the opposite. Because I want him to know that it's about that commitment for me and not some pageantry, you know? Not like, oh, I want 15 bridesmaids.

[Host (Birch)]

I understand.

[Caller/Listener]

I understand. Okay, well, we have got to get in touch with you to find out exactly what happens. And we'll find out if the dad said, yeah, go for it.

[Brea]

Okay.

[Caller/Listener]

And if your boyfriend said, yeah, and how the propose, the public proposal went

[Co-host (possibly female)]

in front of the family, good luck. I think it still should be private. I think it's cool that you're trying to do it the traditional route. I think that's fantastic. I just be cautious about doing it in front of the entire family. That's all.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Caller/Listener]

All right. Hold on one second. I will talk to her after the holiday.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

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[Caller/Listener]

In what way?

[Host (Birch)]

In case he wants to do it.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

In case he did want to do it. Maybe he knows how important it is to her and then he wants to propose. Like she's kind of robbing him of the chance to do something cool for her.

[Caller/Listener]

Could be.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

You know what I mean?

[Caller/Listener]

I have a feeling the father's gonna say no. Come on, you know what he's all about.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

But would that stop a guy?

[Host (Birch)]

It's not stopping her. She already said.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

If a guy asked for the father's hand in marriage and he said no,

[Caller/Listener]

would that stop him? It would stop me from doing it publicly in front of the rest of the family, for sure. This is something I'll handle after the

[Co-host (possibly female)]

holiday in front of the family of anybody doing it, but I'm just saying,

[Caller/Listener]

not a good idea.

[Host (Birch)]

The bird show.

[Caller/Listener]

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[Host (Birch)]

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[Co-host (possibly female)]

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[Brea]

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[Host (Birch)]

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[Caller/Listener]

And I want you to make a commitment to the Burke show right now for the next three and a half minutes that you won't tune out because this entire song here, the song, it's only going to be funny and effective if you listen all the way through. Like if you bail after about a minute, you're not going to get the, the true feel of this entire song.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Okay?

[Caller/Listener]

So I'm asking you to commit to the Bird show. As I understand it, this is a guy that's, I'm not sure where he submitted this audition tape, but he was sitting in the congregation and he's watching everybody else do their thing around Christmas time. He's watching the choir and he's like, man, I could do better than that.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

He's like, I am the real star of this congregation.

[Caller/Listener]

If they could just hear me. He's probably one of these guys in church, raises hands and everything. He's got this sway going back and forth and he hears, yeah, got both hands in the air and Stuff. He's like, you know what? They need me.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

He feels the call. This is the Lord calling upon him.

[Caller/Listener]

So he sends in an audition tape to the church to say, hey, y', all, listen to this. And I think it's gonna be unsaid who's gonna be singing oh, Holy night next year. So he sends in this audition tape. It's bad, y'.

[Andy]

All.

[Caller/Listener]

It's really bad. But it's three minutes. Make a commitment.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Caller/Listener]

You like the beginning of the American Idols? You know, where it's the bad performers. You'll love this. If not, commit Holy night.

[Andy]

Okay?

[Caller/Listener]

It doesn't get any better than that. That's the best of our dear savior's birth.

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[Caller/Listener]

Amen. Both hands up in the air. You're feeling it.

[Jey Uso]

Man down.

[Host (Birch)]

Lay the world

[Brea]

in sin and error

[Andy]

high

[Host (Birch)]

Till he appear

[Brea]

and the soul felt it's worth.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

I imagine that he has a ponytail

[Caller/Listener]

down like this from the 80s. You guys preparing for takeoff?

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

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[Host (Birch)]

Too bad. Yeah, that's why I said, you gotta come here.

[Caller/Listener]

We got.

[Andy]

Oh,

[Caller/Listener]

on your knees.

[Host (Birch)]

I like the way he's not using a lot of notes.

[Caller/Listener]

He's making it his own. Oh,

[Andy]

yeah. It gets better.

[Host (Birch)]

How did this possibly stick to the tape?

[Brea]

Oh, my God. I've got tears.

[Andy]

I moved.

[Caller/Listener]

Commit people. There's a minute left.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Oh, no.

[Andy]

Here it is.

[Host (Birch)]

He spilled something hot on his testicles.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

Oh, come on.

[Andy]

He's got to be joking.

[Host (Birch)]

I want to go caroling with him.

[Caller/Listener]

You got to listen to this all the way through.

[Host (Birch)]

You know, it was a divine.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

After that, he went, yes.

[Brea]

Nailed it.

[Andy]

You know what?

[Host (Birch)]

If he was sending that into someone, you know that. That wasn't the only one he did.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Is that serious?

[Host (Birch)]

Like he did?

[Andy]

As far as I know, he did

[Host (Birch)]

several of those and picked that one as the best.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Has to be a joke. Towards the end of it, though, it's

[Caller/Listener]

a little bit, I think, like the American Idol auditions where you think you're kicking ass.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

But you can't. What you're hearing in your head and your ears is totally different.

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I want that song to put on in my place so when people come over to my house, that's what they're listening to for Christmas.

[Host (Birch)]

I'm gonna make that my ring back on my phone. That way, nobody will talk, leave me messages.

[Co-host (possibly female)]

No one will ever call you.

[Host (Birch)]

Hey, Amber.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Brea]

That was absolutely, absolutely painful.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Brea]

It hurt to listen to.

[Weight Watchers Advertiser]

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[Brea]

Oh, God. It was bad.

[Caller/Listener]

I told you I was going to test your commitment to the show. Good morning Amanda, you're on Q100.

[Brea]

Yeah, I had to turn that up to hear how bad it was, and then I had to turn it back down.

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