Full Show PT 1: Thursday, May 28 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Thursday, May 28 [Vault]

Episode Date: May 28, 2026
Hosts/Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Greg, Ellen, Frank, Joanna

Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show team tackles everyday life with humor and authenticity, covering everything from awkward adult shopping encounters with parents, to the pros and cons of joining a reality TV show, to a heartfelt “Pay It Forward” story that brings holiday cheer to a family in need. The crew brings together relatable stories, lively debates, games, and listener interactions—making for both laughs and touching moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Is It Weird for Grown Men to Shop with Their Moms?

Starts at 01:31

• Burt recounts seeing an adult man shopping for clothes with his mother, modeling outfits for her in-store.
  • “Is it odd when an adult man is shopping... a 35, 40 year old dude is shopping with his mother who is there buying him clothes?” (Burt, 01:37)
• The cast debates when it becomes inappropriate, with general consensus that, after high school, it gets weird—especially if the mom is still holding the clothes and critiquing fits.
  • Ellen: “If a grown man cannot buy his own clothes, you don't want to be with him.” (04:03)
• Listeners call in, sharing personal experiences—some citing special circumstances (recent breakups, financial struggles), but the hosts stay firm: shopping together is fine, but modeling clothes for mom as an adult crosses a line.
  • Frank: “Mom can shop for you, and you can shop for mom, but you can't shop together when you're that age.” (03:38)
  • Burt: “There is no place for another woman in his life if the mom is hovering that much.” (06:06)

2. Behind the Scenes: Considering a Reality TV Show

Starts at 12:02

• Bert shares he’s considering being on a new Bravo reality show, “Boys Club of Atlanta,” crafted by the minds behind Real Housewives franchise. He's torn about the potential benefits vs. downsides.
  • “My wife and I have been talking about it… we’re 50/50 down the middle.” (13:03)
• A cautionary tale from a listener who worked in production: editing can twist reality for drama, turning a lightbulb-changing bartender into “the drunk of the show” with creative effects.
  • “Even if you’re doing the right thing, they can edit a storyline for you based on really complete nonsense.” (13:30)
• Major worries include:
  • Unfair storylines/editing.
  • Public exposure for the whole family, especially their children.
  • Enduring stage parent perceptions and attracting “creepers.”
  • Risk to personal reputation and business.
• Bert concludes he’s currently leaning (70%) toward not doing it, feeling the negatives outweigh the potential gains: “For me, I don’t have a thirst for [that type of fame]...the negatives outweigh the positives.” (20:03)

Notable Quotes:

• Ellen: "You have to have thick enough skin to tolerate those that hate you because of the show." (19:08)
• Burt: "There’s really more to lose for a guy like me than there is to gain." (18:55)

3. Office Competition: “It’s a Wonderful Life” Acting Challenge

Starts at 21:56

• The team stages a fun reenactment of a key scene from “It’s a Wonderful Life,” pitting Greg and Joanna head-to-head in a dramatic reading.
• Greg takes the scene first, channeling passion and eliciting high praise:
  • Burt: “Oh, he crushed that. Oh, Joanna. Are you sure you want to go? He crushed that.” (30:33)
• Joanna, with less prep, gives it her best shot and is applauded for effort, but the audience and hosts side with Greg.
  • Listener Call-in: “Jeff really shot that one right out of the studio… Joanna, even though you’re a female and I want to vote for you, I gotta vote for Jeff.” (33:19)
• The segment ends playfully, sparking plans for Joanna to challenge team members daily in acting showdowns.

Memorable Moment:

• Burt: “For just getting the script, though. Pretty damn good.” (to Joanna, 33:07)

4. Heartwarming: Pay It Forward Holiday Help

Starts at 35:16

• The show features a moving call from Suzanne, who nominated her friend Kim—struggling to provide for her kids after job loss—for holiday assistance.
• Kim is surprised with a $2,000 gift, ensuring her children have a special Christmas and essential bills are paid.
  • Burt: “She said that you’re kind of looking at a Christmas here and you were even wondering if Santa was gonna be able to stop by… Santa will be stopping by your house in a big, big, big, big, big way.” (39:41)
• Kim is audibly moved and grateful; Suzanne and Kim exchange heartfelt thanks and love ("I love you. I love you too.” (41:10)).
• The discussion highlights the reality that many people live paycheck to paycheck, especially during the holidays.

Notable Quote:

• Ellen: “I think the majority of us would have to live paycheck to paycheck.” (37:56)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time | |--------------------------------------------|-----------| | Adult Men Shopping with Moms | 01:31-11:50| | Reality TV Show Debate | 12:02-21:55| | “It’s a Wonderful Life” Acting Challenge | 21:56-35:15| | Pay It Forward: Suzanne & Kim | 35:16-41:50|

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Tone & Style

• Playful, candid, and occasionally irreverent.
• Genuine camaraderie and debate, with space for vulnerability and empathy (especially in the Pay It Forward segment).
• A mix of laughter, sarcasm, heartfelt advice, and community spirit—true to The Bert Show’s promise of “making your mornings bearable.”

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Notable Quotes

• Burt: “You can’t come on that strong and then back out.” (24:24, to Joanna about the acting challenge)
• Frank: “Find another joy. There’s a Matlock Marathon.” (10:41, on moms finding hobbies other than shopping with adult sons)
• Burt: “We’ll get you both on hold, and we will get in touch with you really, really quickly here, Kim, because obviously Christmas is right around the corner. And you can thank Suzanne.” (41:28)

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Conclusion

This episode is a microcosm of everything Bert Show fans love: off-beat real-life observations, group debates, memorable challenges, and heartwarming holiday giving. It shifts deftly from playful banter to real-life challenges, showing both the lighter and more compassionate sides of the morning crew. Even for new listeners, it’s a welcoming window into the show’s dynamic, filled with both laughs and genuine connection.

Transcript

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[Burt]

quick observation that I thought was a little weird the other day in a department store. And I may be totally overthinking it.

[Ellen]

Okay.

[Burt]

And maybe it's just strange to me. Is it odd when an adult man is shopping like, so you're Talking about a 35, 40 year old dude is shopping with his mother who is there buying him clothes.

[Frank]

It's kind of funny.

[Burt]

Okay, it is weird.

[Ellen]

Well, okay, yes, all. But this time of year. Is there any past to this time of year when the mom comes into town and forces him to go with her?

[Greg]

It's not even force, it's. I think you have to.

[Frank]

Are you sure it was for him? Absolutely. They were like shopping for the dad.

[Burt]

No, no, no. This was playing out like he was a 13 year old on like his first day of school. So he would come out of the dressing room with a sweater on.

[Jake Stauch]

Oh, stop.

[Burt]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I didn't know if I was just being. If I just thought it was weird and creepy or not.

[Joanna]

Is she buying footy pajamas too? I mean, let's just like give him some shirts.

[Frank]

Try them all.

[Ellen]

What a mom.

[Burt]

Oh, it was a whole ensemble. Like first he came out and he was trying jeans on. So he would turn around for and see if it fit all the way around.

[Ellen]

You can't do that.

[Joanna]

No, not as a grown man, you cannot.

[Burt]

Then he would put a sweater on. And then when he found items that he liked, she kept them on one arm and carried them around the store as he continued to shop for a gas.

[Greg]

Hold on a minute.

[Ellen]

What if that's not his mama?

[Greg]

Just being devil's advocate. What if this guy is a bachelor for whatever reason? Maybe he's newly divorced. Maybe he's a bachelor, whatever. And he's been rocking the same clothes for, you know, for a year or two. Mom comes in town for the holidays and is like, bert, come on, you can't wear. Last time I saw you last Christmas, you're wearing the same outfit. I know you're single guy now. Whatever. Blow. Come on. This is your. This is your Christmas present. Let's go to the. And he hates it, but she forces him to do it.

[Burt]

Nope, nope, nope. As a grown man, you cannot clothe shop with your mom while she's there.

[Ellen]

Because that was my point when I said the past with her being in town. But that's only if she's standing at the rack going home, honey, why don't you buy Mom? Come on, let's go. Let's go. But to try them on and to model for her is a whole different.

[Frank]

Mom can shop for you, and you can shop for mom, but you can't shop together when you're that age.

[Burt]

So let me ask you this. Like, let's say he's 37 and the younger brother is 35 years old, and the mother is taking both of them mama's boys. Still not mama's boys.

[Ellen]

Those are men you don't want to marry. Mom doesn't like anybody you date, so you're screwed.

[Burt]

I don't think I'm so glad my strange radar was up, because it did seem a little odd to me.

[Ellen]

If a grown man cannot buy his own clothes, you don't want to be with him.

[Frank]

Yeah, you got to go home and tell Stacy.

[Host Caller]

Never.

[Frank]

Is this going to be okay for

[Ellen]

you to do something?

[Burt]

So at what year is it okay for? I mean, what's that? That year? I mean, in college, I'm assuming you're allowed to go, right?

[Joanna]

Not even 16 before high school.

[Burt]

Like, if you're in college and you come home, you don't have any cash

[Ellen]

or anything, comma can give you cash,

[Joanna]

and you can go on your own college.

[Frank]

Mama's just got to send you out

[Burt]

to go for it.

[Joanna]

Yes.

[Frank]

Are still paying for it in college,

[Ellen]

but you gotta get your own clothes.

[Frank]

Yeah. And if you have no style, find a gay man friend and he'll help you out. Yeah.

[Burt]

Or what you're like, after high school, it's over.

[Ellen]

Not even before high school. I think 15.

[Frank]

High school, I think is fine.

[Greg]

Without.

[Frank]

If you're going school shopping for going to college, like moving to college and you're doing all that, that's fine, too.

[Ellen]

We're talking about clothes and modeling the clothes.

[Burt]

You can't model your clothes in high school. You'll get so much crap from Everybody at school.

[Ellen]

15.

[Burt]

I didn't realize it. I knew it was bizarre, but I didn't realize it was that bizarre.

[Greg]

Knowing the circumstances, I don't find it that odd.

[Ellen]

Really.

[Burt]

Without knowing the circumstances, it is odd to watch. I'm telling you, I have never seen it before, but watching it, I'm like, something's not right about this.

[Ellen]

So your mom has taken you shopping?

[Greg]

No, but I don't think I would have a problem with that. If I was back in Syracuse and we were out, you know, went to the mall or whatever, and she said, you gotta get whatever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I would have no problem with that.

[Burt]

I'd say, let me have the cash. Yeah, I'll call myself. Hey, Ben. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Jake Stauch]

Good morning. You guys ready to raise this to a whole new.

[Burt]

All right, let's go. I am ready to go.

[Jake Stauch]

Okay. My roommate was 32 when he moved in. His mom took shopping for Tupperware and for groceries and everything. She made him a literal laundry list of how to do laundry. Step one, separate your color. Step two, and everything that he consulted every single time he did laundry, and she took him every Sunday afternoon to go grocery shopping.

[Ellen]

I would tell the both of them to go pick their swimsuits switch. Because I think that it's just. That is her fault if her grown son doesn't know how to do laundry. That's her fault.

[Burt]

There is no place for another woman in his life if the mom is hovering that much.

[Ellen]

Hell no.

[Burt]

At that age.

[Frank]

Yeah. Back off.

[Ellen]

Cut the cord.

[Frank]

And you got to make mom do it right.

[Ellen]

Yes. Cut the cord.

[Burt]

She'll want to see you like that little boy forever. Hey, Brett. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Jake Stauch]

Hey there, bur show. How y' all doing?

[Burt]

Good. Brent, how are you doing?

[Jake Stauch]

Well, was the guy calling him mommy the whole time? I was curious because I Know that at Bloomingdale and other places they have a lot of their employees just follow the customers around.

[Burt]

No, this was, this was obviously mom. I mean they were. Yeah, it was an intimate, you know, mother son relationship. They even looked alike. It was strange.

[Greg]

He was also nursing.

[Burt]

Hey Charles.

[Greg]

Good morning.

[Burt]

You're on Q100.

[Host Caller]

Good morning. Good morning.

[Burt]

Good morning, sir.

[Host Caller]

Hey. Yeah, you said you saw him in the stores.

[Jake Stauch]

You don't really know the story behind

[Host Caller]

what was going on, right?

[Burt]

All I know is that there was a grown man that was shopping with his mom that was coming out of the dressing room and he was putting his clothes on for her and she was holding them and. Yeah, I mean, as far as I know, I think she paid with her credit card. I mean I didn't watch it that closely, but it seemed like she was pretty in charge of the whole thing.

[Joanna]

He was modeling his clothes for her.

[Burt]

Yeah, he'd come out of the dressing room and ask her if everything fit right.

[Ellen]

Does my butt look good in these jeans, Mom? That should never be said.

[Burt]

I'd say he's right. Late 30s, early 40s.

[Host Caller]

Well, the reason why I ask is, you know, I'm 33 myself.

[Ellen]

Uh huh.

[Host Caller]

I turned 34 the end of February.

[Jake Stauch]

And this past weekend I just went

[Host Caller]

through basically about the same situation my mom took me. So I stepped into Walmart to get

[Jake Stauch]

me some jeans because I'm a primary

[Host Caller]

financial provider in the household.

[Ellen]

Huh.

[Jake Stauch]

My mom, she was working until she got, got, got put out of work, medical leave.

[Host Caller]

So she collected unemployment for that. And I've got a total of 11

[Jake Stauch]

people in my house.

[Burt]

Look Charles, your story is going to be so different than what I saw go down at this department store. I mean, we could always find a family or two that doesn't fit the mold. But I mean we're just talking about two pretty well to do people with mom shopping with the sun, making sure he's wearing the right stuff.

[Ellen]

See, it's the fact that he's, I mean that she's still doing all that for him. Like my brother and my elderly mom, she's a widow, so once she became a widow, my brother on Saturdays will take her to lunch when he can. So that's sweet because he's taking her to lunch, he's paying for lunch and he's being sweet to his mama. This mama is still babying this 30 something year old man, late 30s.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Ellen]

And making him try and close us.

[Greg]

Okay, now hold on. Let's say hypothetically with your brother, why are you doing It. Because I don't think. Because you and your mom.

[Burt]

You have gone shopping with your mom.

[Greg]

I haven't. But I wouldn't have a problem doing it because your brother and your mom are sitting at lunch.

[Ellen]

Yeah.

[Greg]

And your mom says to your brother, hey, you know what? Like, whatever. Every time we've gone to lunch for the past three weeks, you've been wearing the same sweatshirt. I have to be honest with you. It's driving me nuts. Can we get you a new sweater? And he's like.

[Ellen]

And he would say, no.

[Greg]

And he's like, yeah. And then she says, please, I don't get out of the house too much, and I would love to take you to the mall, I guarantee you, and buy you a sweater.

[Ellen]

I guarantee you my brother would never be in the situation in which he is trying on clothes for Millie P. Ever, ever. If he was desperate to go get something new and he was trying at

[Greg]

any point, it's not his idea.

[Ellen]

And he needed a girl. I don't care. He would say, no, see, I would

[Greg]

do that for my mom. I'm sorry your brother doesn't like your mom.

[Ellen]

I'm sorry that you. I mean, it's like, cut the cord. You're not. You're a grown man.

[Greg]

It's intrigued for your mom.

[Burt]

I'm looking at all these guys call up, trying to make excuses, like, maybe this could have been a sugar mom. No, man, they looked alike. That was his mom.

[Frank]

Yeah. No, and I think if, like, in your scenario, at lunch, they go to lunch, and she's like, I want to buy you some new clothes. Well, great. Okay. So they both go into the department store. He goes and tries on his clothes himself, comes back out and says, this is the one. I really like mom. And she's like, oh, let me buy it for you.

[Ellen]

Great.

[Frank]

Like, that I don't have a problem with. But it's the trying on and the modeling and the. The texture pile. No pile.

[Burt]

Yeah, the texture was. It was a planned, like, shopping trip. Trip together.

[Ellen]

And it's like you said, the responsibility. To answer Jeff's question, my brother would then say, well, look, look, if it's bad enough I'm going to take my sister with me to go to the store. If I have to try on for anybody, if somebody needs to see me in the clothes, he would take his sister. He would not take his mama. But it's a totally different.

[Greg]

It's a treat for mama. It's the only joy she has.

[Frank]

No, no.

[Burt]

Find another joy. There's a Matlock Marathon.

[Ellen]

Let your babies go, honey.

[Frank]

Some grandkids to shop for the bird show.

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[Greg]

Can't not make a noise to acknowledge

[Ellen]

the silence Silence can't not let it be quiet La la la la la

[Burt]

la la I got a ton of email advice yesterday on the potential to be in this reality TV show.

[Frank]

Okay?

[Burt]

So I was telling these guys yesterday, I got a call from one of the creators of Real Housewives of Orange county, and she was the creator behind Real Housewives of Atlanta also. So she knows what she's doing. She puts together shows, and she's got a really great relationship with Bravo, so. And they have complete confidence in her. Now. They basically say, look, come up with a show and we know who you are. And, you know, if we okay it, we got ourselves a plan. So I get this call the other day, and she's putting together a show called Boys Club of Atlanta. And I'd say in judging on the email that I received and Stacy and I, honestly, my wife and I have been talking about it, and I'm not lying to you when I say we're 50, 50 down the middle. Like, either going either way. Like, there are so many. There could be great benefits to it, but the downside on the whole thing, oh, yeah, check this out. I was talking to a dude yesterday in the gym and he was telling me that he was listening to the show and he used to work on one of these reality TV shows. And again, I was sort of piecemealing together my ideas on why we should do it or why we shouldn't do it. And he said, look, I used to work on one of these sets. I was one of the production guys on a reality TV show. And he said, even if you're doing the right thing, they can edit a storyline for you based on really complete nonsense. He said one day he was on the set and he was in a bar in the middle of the day, and one of the bartenders got up on the bar stool, and she reached up for a light to change the light, and she fell off the bar stool. So by the time he got done messing with it and editing it with her, they added sound effects, like, there was a crowd around, like, and they dim the lights. And her storyline, that was. She was the drunk of the show. So it made her look like she was standing on a bar stool and she fell off with her hands up in the air.

[Greg]

So she was, like, dancing on the bar stool and was hammered and fell off and hurt herself when in reality

[Burt]

she was alone and she was changing a light bulb on a bar stool.

[Ellen]

Insane. That's why everybody talks about the editing. And we always make fun of reality stars who talk about it's all in the editing, but obviously they can completely change it.

[Greg]

Well, the good news about that, Bert, is you drank a lot, so they won't have to make up those storylines.

[Burt]

I'll challenge them. Go ahead and edit to make me look sober. So I went online and I did a quick search on this, because as she was pitching me the story a couple of days ago, I said, look, save it, save it, save it. Save it for the radio, for on the air. So I said, will you come on on Wednesday and sort of make the pitch so we can all sort of look at it together? And Stacey will be on the phone also. So I don't have all that much information about it, but I did search it yesterday, and here's what I found. It said. Boys Club of Atlanta. Two of the producers behind Bravo's Real Housewives franchise are turning their attention to the boys. Evolution media is developing Boys Club atl, which will follow a group of socially connected men in Atlanta and me, because I don't consider myself socially connected. Evolution, you're in crucial. Is behind. He actually is. Evolution is behind the Real Housewives franchise. Also on board is Princess Banton Lofters, who cast Real Housewives of Atlanta for the cabler Boys Club hasn't yet been pitched to networks. As I understand it, since this has been written, it actually has. Casting is currently underway in Atlanta. Evolution president Douglas Ross said he approached Banton Lofters about joining forces on the new project. And she said men's lives are as dramatic and interesting as their female counterparts. Ross said, our goal isn't to embarrass or ridicule them. We're trying to capture their rich, varied experiences. Of course, Real Housewives has been helped by an added dose of eccentric cast members as well. The Orange county edition just returned to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Greg]

God, you know, it'd be great if you could find that same write up for real, the Real Housewives series before the Real Housewives series existed to see what they said about that.

[Burt]

And that's why I think Jen had a great idea getting cam on with us. Kim Zolciak.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Because her attitude going into it must be a lot like mine and the friends that have been asked to be in it. Just like this can't. We don't even have that much drama in our lives. Like, we all know each other.

[Ellen]

We're not gonna.

[Burt]

We're not gonna stab each other in the back. What could go wrong? But I'm sure you start at that level.

[Frank]

I think it's the. The children angle that I think will be interesting too, because I think if it were just you and Stacey that were gonna be on camera, that's one thing. But if it's gonna be Hayden and Hollis on camera too, I think that brings in a whole new level of decision making.

[Burt]

Well, there's a real fine line there because one of the things that Stacy and I talked about is this would be great publicity for Hayden, who's now getting into acting, and he's going out on all these auditions and he wants to get agents and stuff like that. So on one hand, it could help there. But if you're gonna ask for publicity in that area, you also have to be aware of some of the negativity that comes along with that also. Like, are they gonna. Will they cast us as stage parents? There certainly is a seed of that in both of us, you know, so does they. Does that all of a sudden become bigger than life, you know?

[Frank]

Well, and you're exposing your kid to a lot of creepers out there, too.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Frank]

You know what I mean? I mean.

[Burt]

And that would be a national television

[Frank]

exposure, Will, you know, I don't know. I always think about that when kids are on tv.

[Burt]

It's just.

[Frank]

I don't know. There's just creepers out there looking at them.

[Burt]

I kind of felt like when we had the talk on the show Yesterday, I was 50, 50 about it. And then after reading all the emails and really talking to people about it. I feel like I'm 70% on not doing it.

[Frank]

Really?

[Jake Stauch]

Really.

[Frank]

What about Stacy?

[Burt]

We didn't really get a chance to talk about it a lot yesterday.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Good morning, Kim. You're on Q100.

[Jake Stauch]

Yeah. I had a thought for you. Do you like any personality stars that are on reality shows? I mean, even if they're the co person ever, they just seem like Deanna Patches. I don't know.

[Joanna]

I like her.

[Burt]

She's cool.

[Joanna]

Melissa Rycroft from the Bachelor. Like her.

[Burt]

Yeah, I see what you're getting.

[Jake Stauch]

Like a reality show, like, on the Orange. Like how they're gonna have the show on Bravo, Right?

[Burt]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. Like, 90% of the people are gonna

[Jake Stauch]

be able to do how they want you to look. And you're right about the whole looking like a stage parent.

[Greg]

That Jeff Probstala seems nice enough.

[Burt]

I know.

[Ellen]

She's getting, like, a situation like a Real World or Real Housewives or where you have a collective where you follow them day to day. Because then the Bachelor and Bachelorette, I mean, it's not necessarily. That's not necessarily the case, you know, so.

[Burt]

And I think the strongest point that I've heard so far came from my friend Justin, who they're asking to be on the show also. And that's, you know, when Real Housewives or a lot of these other reality TV shows are launched, most of them don't have any kind of celebrity attached to it, or they're not successful, so they don't have anything to lose. Like, we didn't really know who Kim Zolciak was before Real Housewives started, so she could do a show, and she wants that kind of fame and that kind of celebrity. I'm pretty happy with the celebrity we have just here in Atlanta. So there's really more to lose for a guy like me than there is to gain.

[Greg]

Is Justin worried about losing his celebrity, too?

[Burt]

Well, it's not celebrity for him, but he's an entrepreneur in town, and he's a successful one, too. So he does have a lot to lose within his own business community, too.

[Frank]

But then, I mean, tarnished reputation can change a lot of that.

[Ellen]

But to play devil's advocate, you know, all these reality stars, you know who they are. So it's one of those things that, yes, there may be a tarnished reputation. Yes, people may not like them, but people still surround themselves, you know, or try to get to them. People always want to go see them. People, you know, all the Real Housewives, everywhere they Go. There's a crowd. Whether you like them or not, you're gonna go check it out. And so does it. Will it hurt business or will it just increase business? It's just if you have the thick enough skin to tolerate those that hate you because of the show.

[Burt]

For me, I don't have a thirst for that. And if I have it for I. I have a thirst for it at the level we're at right now. Like, I do. I like going into restaurants, and I like going into bars, and I like people coming up saying they're listening to the show all the time. You know, they're. Sometimes we get free stuff for being on the radio, and sometimes that's really cool also. That level is really cool to me. But to be like, I've seen Real Housewives, and everywhere you go, like, everybody in the restaurant is talking about you or has an opinion.

[Ellen]

Right.

[Burt]

I don't really have a thirst for that, but if you've never tasted it, then I could understand how you think it's like this. It's really intoxicating. So I'm not sure. I think the negatives outweigh the positives.

[Ellen]

I'd be fascinated. The opinion of the person, the creator of the show. Like, tomorrow, right?

[Burt]

Yeah, she's coming in tomorrow morning with us. Yeah.

[Frank]

It'll be definitely cool to interview her and hear.

[Burt]

Yeah. And I've never really seen or even heard anybody really debate if they wanted to be on one. And I think that's because most people go to the casting calls, and if you're going, you already want to be in it. And this happens sort of the other way around. The show was created. She knows a lot of dudes in Atlanta, and she's, like, putting the pieces together, and she's coming to us. So I don't think you've ever heard the struggle before, because most people you see on reality TV shows know they want to be famous.

[Frank]

They want to be on it.

[Burt]

Yeah, they want to be on it. The Bird Show.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Burt]

We got to get producer Joanna in here because she's already making claims that she can crush this, this Christmas scene better than Jeff can. And she doesn't even know what scene he's doing.

[Ellen]

Is she gonna do that for all of us? Is she gonna redo all of our monologues?

[Burt]

She knows.

[Greg]

Cause here's the deal. I sent it to her. Let me find it. Because she sent it by instant message. I sent her the monologue or the scene or whatever and asked her to print it for me. And she said, oh nice. If you want me to do this for you, let me know. I'm an amazing actress.

[Jake Stauch]

That's awesome.

[Frank]

I like her confidence.

[Burt]

It's funny, you know, I was having a conversation with her a couple of days ago because Joanna wants to be in radio and all, you know, so she's gonna be looking for like a full time morning show gig after January 1st. So I said, I'll sure try to help you out with it, but I'll critique her from time to time and she'll send me stuff and I'll say, the only thing you gotta watch out here for Joanna is that I think sometimes you turn people off. Cause you're so confident, you know, that, you know, you gotta get along with women and men on the radio. Especially if you're gonna be on a radio station that caters to women.

[Greg]

Let me know if you want me to do this for you. I'm an amazing actress.

[Burt]

And she says, really? I don't see myself that way. I'm really not all that confident. So she's not confident in. Her confidence is the only thing she's not confident in.

[Joanna]

I just, I think that, I don't know, I say these things where I'm joking, but everyone takes it as I'm being serious. So I just run with it and I just hope for the best at the end.

[Greg]

You know what? I admire that actually.

[Burt]

I just said, you know what? Let them like you before they really get to know you.

[Joanna]

Well, why, why not just let you know from the beginning and you can despise me for the right reasons.

[Burt]

I agree. Run with that just totally run with.

[Greg]

You know what? Actually, now that I keep reading this instant message, she has to say she's a better singer than Jennifer. We got a couple breaks out of her.

[Joanna]

I proved with my Shakira song not too long ago. I'm not sure why you guys are denying that.

[Burt]

So what we're gonna do. Each one of us this week, we are taking a Christmas scene out of a popular movie and we will try to reenact that scene and we will put these all up online. And are we doing a vote on it or at this point, do we even care?

[Greg]

I think. I mean, dude, there's gotta be a winner.

[Burt]

There's gotta be a loser. It's Christmas, people.

[Greg]

I'm hoping that there will be a clear cut winner.

[Burt]

It's probably gonna be Joanna.

[Host Caller]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Yeah, that's right. Why are we. Yeah, we're not gonna vote because Joanna already won, but we will.

[Joanna]

I think you'll have a runner up. You're saying I'm the winner?

[Burt]

At this point, we're all going for honorable mention.

[Greg]

If Joanna wants to go today, you could just do it as a head to head thing and then y' all can decide who did it better, Joanna or I. And then that's today's winner. And then you could just do two a day and there's a head to head competition and we'll have a finals

[Burt]

and Joanna has to do one every day. Everyone that we knew Joanna has to do. That's the way I like it. All right, so the scene, Jeff, that you're doing and Joanna that you're gonna be doing is.

[Greg]

Why don't you explain it, Joanna?

[Joanna]

It's a scene from It's a Wonderful Life.

[Greg]

Right?

[Joanna]

Which scene is it where he's talking to Mr. Potter.

[Greg]

And when did you find this scene?

[Joanna]

When you emailed it to me.

[Greg]

Okay.

[Burt]

Have you ever seen the movie?

[Jake Stauch]

No.

[Burt]

But you are sure you can crush Jeff in it?

[Jake Stauch]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Should we actually have her go before you even play it? Because you have the audio of the scene, how it's supposed to sound, Right?

[Burt]

So you say joanna, then play the scene, then you. Then I'll go.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Oh, wow. I didn't know. Let me take off my sweater. It's gonna

[Ellen]

stretch.

[Burt]

Stretching.

[Greg]

Just so you know, Joanna, that stretching's not gonna help you. It's radio, honey.

[Burt]

Actually, it did with me. You won't.

[Frank]

That's awesome.

[Greg]

There's your script.

[Frank]

Oh, she's going first?

[Greg]

Yeah, she says she's got it. Didn't even need to hear it.

[Joanna]

I need to prep. Come on. Every good actor needs to prep. I need to get some inspiration, so you need to hear this.

[Burt]

Yeah, I think that's fair. Okay.

[Host Caller]

You're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap Penny Annie building alone, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can say anything against his character. Because his whole life was. Why, in the 25 years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save enough money to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter. And what's wrong with that? Here, you're all businessman here. Don't make them better citizens. Doesn't make them better customers. You. You said that. What'd you say just a minute ago? They. They had to wait and save their money before they even thought of a decent home.

[Greg]

Wait? Wait for what?

[Host Caller]

Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down that. Do you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man. Their cap. Well, in my book, he died a much richer man than you'll ever be.

[Burt]

All right, that's your scene right there.

[Greg]

Is it just me, or did that. Did that feel like it was 45 minutes long?

[Burt]

It was 60 seconds.

[Greg]

It didn't feel like that to me.

[Burt]

It was a really long clip. Now, Jeff, I think you should go first.

[Greg]

All right, good.

[Burt]

And then we'll save the finale for Joanna.

[Greg]

I like that because I just heard it. It's fresher in my head.

[Ellen]

All right, Jimmy Dollar, you think the minute.

[Greg]

Jimmy Dollar?

[Burt]

Yeah, I have. Again, I have never seen this movie from beginning to end.

[Ellen]

Oh, my God. Oh, this is amazing. Am I the only one in the room that has seen this movie?

[Greg]

No, I saw it.

[Ellen]

It is wonderful.

[Burt]

Like, you'll sit down with your family and watch it from beginning to end.

[Ellen]

Absolutely. This is a fantastic movie. Sometimes older movies are far better than the ones now.

[Frank]

I usually turn on that tcm, that Turner Classic Movies and put that in the background when I'm Wrapping gifts, but I never know which one.

[Greg]

Just to get you in the mood, I, for the longest time got. What's the movie you want to do? WENDY America on 34th Street. I always got those two and Wonderful Life confused for years. But Bert, let me set the scene for you.

[Jake Stauch]

Okay.

[Greg]

All right. Mr. Potter is. He runs the big bank in town. And Jimmy Stewart's character runs the little savings and loan, you know, so he's like for the common folk. And Potter's like the big corporate. He's corporate America, right?

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Greg]

So now this is Jimmy Stewart in the boardroom with all of the board members of Potter's bank. And he's trying to convince Potter to stop being, you know, a shady, big corporate America guy. He is just one of the people, right? Yeah, I thought of that too.

[Burt]

So did you connect with this story? It's weird how you picked this one out, huh?

[Host Caller]

Shocking.

[Greg]

Yeah. You know, that came to me this morning, actually. I kind of laughed at myself. I should have gone with Lampoon's Christmas vacation. We'll give this one a shot.

[Burt]

I think you'll definitely have more heart behind this one than you would the National Lampoon one.

[Frank]

So are you nervous? Because you look like a little boy right now. You have like that little.

[Greg]

I am. I seriously, I would just doing crap yesterday and totally forgot about this. And then at 9 o' clock last night and then sat in my office and I was like, by myself. And I said, you're right when you say my father was no businessman. And Jessica's like, who are you talking to? And I shut the door and I'm trying to enunciate and she's like, what? I can't hear you.

[Burt]

Once Jen and I found out that it was a competition, we both hired a acting coach that's been coming by.

[Frank]

I picked up my Stanislavski book again.

[Greg]

I should have called Hayden.

[Burt]

Yeah, he knocked us out.

[Greg]

Hayden, can you work me through this?

[Burt]

You were stalling.

[Ellen]

You're stalling.

[Greg]

So any spurt? Here's the scene. I've just stood up in the boardroom. You guys are all the board members, right?

[Frank]

And scene.

[Greg]

You're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap Penny Annie Building and Loan, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can say anything against his character. Because his whole life was. Why in the 25 years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save enough to Send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter. And what's Potter, and what's wrong with that? Why, here, you're all businessmen here. Doesn't it make them better citizens? Doesn't it make them better customers? You said. What did you just say? A minute ago? They had to wait and save their money even before they ought to think of a decent home. Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down that you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Is it too much to have them work and play and live and die in a couple of decent rooms, in a bath? Well, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him, but to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle. And in my book, he died a much richer man than you'll ever be.

[Burt]

Oh, he crushed that. Oh, Joanna. Oh, Joanna. You sure you wanna go? He crushed that.

[Joanna]

He did a great job.

[Burt]

You sure you wanna try that?

[Joanna]

I mean.

[Burt]

Yeah, he crushed it.

[Frank]

I don't know, Joanna.

[Burt]

Don't you guys think. I really think he did a really, really good job.

[Ellen]

Yes, we applauded.

[Frank]

I was in the boardroom, man. I was in there.

[Greg]

I was actually thinking of Mr. LaRose, who was my drama coach in high school. And right out of high school, as

[Burt]

soon as you started speaking everything in the room became black and white to me. There was no color left. It was an old black and white.

[Greg]

I did feel an odd compulsion to do the Jimmy Stewart kind of accent. Like her little Sean Connery, though, right there.

[Burt]

Is that what you were gonna go with? Joanna, you gonna try that?

[Joanna]

I wasn't gonna do an accent. I like to stick with what I know, which is my normal accent.

[Burt]

Good luck with this.

[Joanna]

Oh, so you do want me to do this.

[Ellen]

I was really hoping. I was joking.

[Burt]

You can't come on that strong and then back out.

[Frank]

We want you to do it, though, in Spanish.

[Burt]

That'd be fun.

[Greg]

Then she could just make stuff up and we'll go. That's great.

[Joanna]

Exactly. Okay.

[Frank]

Ready?

[Burt]

It's already uncomfortable, isn't it?

[Ellen]

It is.

[Joanna]

Can you see my heart beating from my chest?

[Greg]

You're sweating.

[Joanna]

Okay, you're right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap penny ain't building and loan. I'll never know. But neither you nor anyone else can say anything against his character. Because his whole life was. Why, in 25 years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save money to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of the slums, Mr. Potter. And what's wrong with that? Why? Why here? All businessmen here. Doesn't it make them better citizens? Doesn't it make them better customers? You. You said what, say, just a minute ago. They had to wait and save their money before they ever thought of a decent home. Wait? Wait for what? Until their children are grown and leave them? Until they're so old and broken down, they say. Don't you know how long it takes for a working man to make $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this ramble you're talking about. They do most of the work and paying in this living and dying in this community, while it's too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath. Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. Don't you? A warped, frustrated old man. They're cattle. Well, in my book, he died a much richer man than you'll ever be.

[Ellen]

Joanne.

[Burt]

Great job, Joanne, for just getting the script. It was good. I felt like you lost interest at about the 45 second mark.

[Jake Stauch]

I was just so nervous.

[Joanna]

I kept losing where I was.

[Burt]

For just getting the script, though. Pretty damn good.

[Ellen]

That was good.

[Joanna]

Let me practice it and I'll come back to you.

[Greg]

All right? Every day, Joanna's gonna take someone on. Just get her your script ahead of time.

[Ellen]

No, not ahead of time. It's gotta be right y.

[Burt]

Hey, Randy.

[Greg]

Good morning.

[Burt]

You're on Q100.

[Jake Stauch]

Good morning. Jeff really shot that one right out of the studio.

[Greg]

Thank you.

[Jake Stauch]

You can always go acting. I hate to say it, but Joanna, even though you're a female and I want to vote for you, I gotta vote for Jeff.

[Burt]

Sorry about that, Joanna, you're gonna get pressed. Good morning. Monica, you're on Q100.

[Jake Stauch]

Hi. I gotta say, neither of you brought it. I'm sorry.

[Ellen]

She votes for Jimmy Stewart.

[Host Caller]

Just for her.

[Burt]

Feeling it all right around the room. Wendy, who won competition round one.

[Ellen]

Oh, we're not supposed to vote. Yeah, we're supposed to vote. Yeah.

[Frank]

Because I want to win 9.

[Greg]

Guess I guarantee you I'm going to tell you who's better than the other one. So you all better cough it up.

[Burt]

Jeff, you got my vote.

[Greg]

Thank you.

[Frank]

Yeah, Jeff, you got my vote today.

[Ellen]

Yeah, Jeff.

[Burt]

Jeff.

[Greg]

I'm going to Hollywood. Get it.

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[Burt]

It is not too late. You can get us your emails for pay it forward.

[Ellen]

That's right. We are helping so many families here in the metro Atlanta area because of so many reasons. The recession, the floods. We've had so many different scenarios. But it is not too late. Tell us your story, and then we'll see what we can do to help.

[Burt]

That's exactly what Suzanne did. Hey, Suzanne.

[Jake Stauch]

Hi.

[Burt]

Good morning. How are you today?

[Jake Stauch]

I'm good. How are y' all doing? Good.

[Burt]

What's going on with you?

[Jake Stauch]

Oh, just my little girl ready for school.

[Burt]

How old is she?

[Jake Stauch]

16 months.

[Burt]

Still in the month stage. Hey, you emailed us a couple of days ago about your friend Kim.

[Jake Stauch]

Yes.

[Burt]

Now, this is. This is a friend that you've had for a long time, right?

[Jake Stauch]

Yes, very long time. Almost 16 years.

[Burt]

All right, well, give us a little the history of your friendship and tell us what she's going through right now and how we can help out.

[Jake Stauch]

Oh, goodness. We just made her for hours raising families together. But she got divorced a couple years ago and has really struggled. I mean, she knew leaving the her, you know, ex husband that this heart. And she found out a couple of weeks ago that they were laying her off for several weeks at Christmas because they just didn't have the business. And they told her she can come back after if business picks up. So that's kind of iffy. Not really she's not guaranteed that, so. And she just doesn't have money for Christmas and she's struggling to just meet, you know, pay her regular bills as it is.

[Burt]

And she has been divorced for how long now?

[Jake Stauch]

About two years.

[Burt]

Okay. And then right before Christmas she's told, sorry, we can't help you out. You Exactly. You relayed to us some figures that really kind of indicated to us that things are really tough for her right now.

[Jake Stauch]

Exactly. She had, you know, right around like $700 at, you know, the beginning of the month to pay her rent. Her rent was 6,80ish right around there. And so she went ahead and paid it and you know, she's gotten a little bit of money from family to help with other things, but not a lot.

[Burt]

Suzanne wrote in her email, she has $25 for food, gas and electricity. And the thought of Christmas morning with nothing under the tree for the kids. Absolutely gets her, her pretty down at times, huh?

[Jake Stauch]

Yes, absolutely.

[Burt]

You don't, you don't even realize, like most, I wonder what the percentage is of people that are forced to live paycheck to paycheck. Like if something happens to you today, like in her case also, and work comes to you and says, I am so sorry. How many of us really have enough in the bank to sustain for months at a time?

[Ellen]

I think the majority of us would have to live paycheck to paycheck.

[Burt]

Paycheck to paycheck. So here, this happens to her right before Christmas time, and she's got 25 bucks to last for the end, till the end of the.

[Jake Stauch]

Yeah, money since then, but not enough to pay everything.

[Burt]

Is she getting anything from her ex husband?

[Jake Stauch]

She's supposed to get it monthly and sometimes, you know, it's not always on time, it's late. Many times, you know, he said that there are times that he wouldn't be able to pay it. So it's, it's been really tough.

[Frank]

And you said she has two small children?

[Jake Stauch]

She does, she does.

[Burt]

Well, how old are they?

[Jake Stauch]

They're about 5 and 9ish, right around there.

[Frank]

Okay.

[Jake Stauch]

They grow up so fast.

[Burt]

Very excited, I'm sure, about Santa coming by.

[Jake Stauch]

Absolutely.

[Burt]

All right. And your friend's name is Kim, right?

[Jake Stauch]

Yes.

[Burt]

Okay, let's go ahead. Let's get Kim on and let's make sure that she's taken care of on Christmas morning here.

[Jake Stauch]

Hello?

[Burt]

Hi, is this Kim?

[Jake Stauch]

Yes, this is Kim.

[Burt]

Hey, Kim. This is the Burt show and Q100 calling and we're on the radio right now with your friend Suzanne.

[Jake Stauch]

Uh, huh.

[Burt]

How are you today?

[Jake Stauch]

I'm doing good.

[Burt]

Hey, we have a program here called Pay it Forward, and Suzanne emailed us a couple of days ago about you.

[Jake Stauch]

Okay.

[Burt]

And she said that you and your family could use a little help this time of year.

[Jake Stauch]

Yes.

[Burt]

She said that you're kind of looking at a Christmas here and you were even wondering if Santa was gonna be able to stop by.

[Jake Stauch]

Yes.

[Burt]

Well, we can tell you today that Santa will be stopping by your house in a big, big, big, big, big, big way.

[Jake Stauch]

Aww. Thank you.

[Burt]

You're welcome. We've got some really great friends at the Chipp. Georgia's own credit union, and they are going to make sure that you are taken care of in a whole bunch of different ways. She said that? Like, you lost your gig a couple of weeks ago.

[Jake Stauch]

Huh?

[Burt]

You lost your job a couple of weeks ago?

[Jake Stauch]

Well, just for two weeks.

[Burt]

Two weeks. And they're promising you that you're going to be able to be rehired after January.

[Jake Stauch]

Yes.

[Burt]

And you hope? I'm sure. You hope.

[Jake Stauch]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Burt]

Well, she gave us a little bit of an idea of, you know, some of the financial strain that's going on right now, and we want to give you $2,000.

[Jake Stauch]

Thank you so much.

[Burt]

And we're hoping then that pays for the food and gas and electricity and all that stuff as well.

[Jake Stauch]

Yes.

[Burt]

You have a seven and a nine year old?

[Jake Stauch]

Yes. Oh, no, she's seven and a five year old.

[Burt]

Five year old. Okay.

[Greg]

They're very busy in the background.

[Burt]

I can hear that.

[Jake Stauch]

Yeah, they're playing ball.

[Burt]

Have they relayed to you what they want for Christmas yet?

[Jake Stauch]

A little bit. Not too much. She hasn't really. We've asked them and all I get is I don't know?

[Burt]

Okay, well, you're gonna have to make a list today because with $2,000, Santa is gonna. He's gonna spend some serious time in your house now.

[Jake Stauch]

Okay.

[Burt]

All right. You want to say hi to Suzanne? She's on the phone with us also.

[Jake Stauch]

Hey. Hey. Thank you. You're welcome. I love you. I love you, too.

[Frank]

Girlfriends are the best.

[Jake Stauch]

Yeah.

[Burt]

See, guys would give each other a little chest bump right here, you know?

[Ellen]

I got you.

[Greg]

Hey, man, that was cool.

[Burt]

That was cool, too. I'd give you a hug, but I'd also be pounding you on the back because I'm hugging you, but I'm also hitting you at the same time. All right, you guys, I'll put you both on hold, and we will get in touch with you really, really quickly. Here, Kim, because obviously Christmas is right around the corner. And you can thank Suzanne. Cause she's the one that told us about you.

[Jake Stauch]

Thank you. You're welcome.

[Burt]

All right, you guys, hold on one sec. You know, maybe more motivation to do the reality TV show. We had a call that I couldn't take, but the dude was saying it could take our no to Hotlanta campaign to a completely different level. And that may be all the reason in the world to go ahead and say yes to it. Hey, the bird show.