The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Thursday, October 30 [Vault]

Release Date: October 30, 2025
Hosts: Burt, Lindsey, Lisa, guest appearances by Jane Fonda, Tom Dumont (No Doubt)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers a classic morning radio mix, blending lighthearted prank segments, celebrity interviews, and personal anecdotes. The highlights include a dramatic “War of the Roses” call, a candid interview with Jane Fonda about self-image and activism, banter with No Doubt’s Tom Dumont about the band’s journey and fame, and a comedic office prank that takes an unexpected turn. Throughout, the cast keeps things playful and real, inviting listeners to laugh, vent, and relate.

Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. War of the Roses: “The Osbourne’s Version”

[01:44 – 09:41]

• Situation: Lisa calls the show suspecting her boyfriend Bob of cheating (again), recounting how she once caught him in bed with someone else. The hosts set up a “War of the Roses” segment to test his fidelity.

• Highlights:

  • Lisa's raw, unfiltered frustration shines: “He needs to keep it in his pants, too.” [03:00, Lisa]
  • She confesses to burning him with a curling iron in revenge, prompting the hosts to question her reasons for staying:
    “Why are you even still with this guy? What is the matter with you?” [03:43, Burt]
  • Tensions peak as Bob, half-awake, is offered free roses and chooses to send them to Lisa—though his lackluster message “Got these free flowers and thought of you” [07:31, Bob] fuels more skepticism.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You guess? Is she like the one and only for you?” [07:48, Lindsey]
  • “He guesses he loves me—the dumb—what is that?” [09:06, Lisa]

• Outcome: The call confirms Bob sent the flowers to Lisa, but his tepid affection leaves unresolved doubts and more laughs.

2. The Shock Collar Prank at Chick-fil-A

[09:41 – 13:29]

• Concept: The team orchestrates a prank where Phil must wear a dog training shock collar while ordering food at Chick-fil-A. The hosts remotely zap him anytime they say the code phrase “small hot chocolate,” aiming to make him react as he tries to maintain composure.

• Memorable Banter:

  • “This, I am sure, at the very least will make him stutter. At the most, will make him cry out.” [10:49, Lisa]
  • As Phil gets shocked: “Take it off. Take it off. Hold on… God, I’m going. Take this thing off. Stop it. Stop it. I’m leaving the rest.” [13:15, Lisa as Phil]

• Funny Moment:

  • “Or poop his pants.” [10:55, Lindsey]

3. Interview: Jane Fonda on Activism, Self-Image, and Resilience

[16:16 – 23:17]

• Overview: Legendary actress and activist Jane Fonda joins to discuss her transition from acting to running the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention (GCAPP), self-worth, and her struggles with bulimia.

• Key Points:

  • Fonda highlights why she doesn’t miss acting: “I don’t really miss anything… I’m doing it in real life. I’m working with young people and their parents… Because hope is the best contraceptive.” [16:34, Jane Fonda]
  • On personal growth: “If I really am who I am and say what I really feel, he won’t love me anymore… Even the strongest women can lose their voice behind closed doors.” [17:38, Jane Fonda]
  • On female self-image: “Feeling sexy is what’s happening inside you. And the more you own yourself…the sexier.” [18:19, Jane Fonda]
  • On overcoming bulimia: “I either continue with my disease or I die… I had to make a choice. Go for the light, go for the darkness.” [19:08, Jane Fonda]
  • On family and self-acceptance: “Parents have to let their children know that they love them unconditionally, no matter what… At 60, I learned good enough is good enough.” [19:38 — 20:08, Jane Fonda]

• Special Moment:

  • Jane Fonda breaks personal news on-air: “They are expecting their first child in early November.” [20:15, Jane Fonda, announcing Bert and Stacey’s baby]

4. No Doubt on Fame, Online Critics, and Rock Life

With Tom Dumont
[23:20 – 29:49]

• Tour Talk: Tom Dumont ruminates on life, festival fun, and their late arrivals touring with Garbage and U2.
• Internet Backlash: Dumont admits to getting “addicted” to online fan forums, but that harsh criticism sometimes changes his engagement.
  • “Sometimes I think that it bums us out.” [24:26, Tom Dumont]
• On Fame: He reflects on the band’s turning point when “Just A Girl” hit radio, and the reality of being recognized:
  “Before that, we were a live band…But then we would play our single and it was totally different.” [26:27, Tom Dumont]
• Behind the Music: The band watched their own VH1 special, sometimes with disbelief.
  • “It's like 15 years of our lives squeezed into 40 minutes.” [27:08, Tom Dumont]
• Personal Bits: Gwen Stefani jokes about long-distance relationships and being a public couple:
  “We talk every day… I just haven’t seen him because we’re both on tour…” [29:41, Gwen Stefani]

5. Workplace Pranks: Smelly Feet and “Pencil Nick”

[30:04 – 37:19]

• Background: Office coworker Eric asks the show to tell Mary her habit of removing shoes is offensive because of foot odor—live on air in exchange for concert tickets.
• Awkwardness Ensues: Mary is humiliated but collects the tickets; the room recognizes the prank went too far.
  • “Well, you know, I mean, I guess you can keep your tickets because that's not cool, isn’t it?” [32:46, Lisa as Mary]
• Turnabout: Mary calls back to expose Eric’s own embarrassing nickname “Pencil Nick,” referencing a moment at a work retreat. Cue prolonged laughter and playful shaming.
  • “Why don’t you just tell everybody why everybody used to call you Pencil Nick.” [34:47, Mary]
  • “At least I don’t make everybody sick around me.” [36:30, Lisa as Mary]

Notable Quotes

• Lisa on catching her boyfriend:
  “I came home from work one day and, like, caught them in bed together… It totally smelled like sex. It was so bad.” [02:54, Lisa]

• Jane Fonda on self-worth:
  “You can be a very strong and powerful woman… but behind the closed doors of your intimate relationship, you can lose your voice.” [17:38, Jane Fonda]

• Tom Dumont on internet trolls:
  “We are only human beings, and it does suck to be criticized. I just like to go in and read the good stuff.” [24:54, Tom Dumont]

• Mary, doling out payback:
  “I’m just going to kick back, take off my shoes and chill out with Pencil Nick.” [37:09, Mary]

Major Timestamps

• 01:44 – Start of “War of the Roses”: Lisa suspects Bob
• 10:48 – Chick-fil-A Shock Collar Prank
• 16:16 – Jane Fonda Interview Begins
• 20:15 – Jane Fonda’s baby announcement for Bert & Stacey
• 23:20 – Interview with No Doubt’s Tom Dumont
• 30:04 – Smelly Feet Office Prank
• 34:47 – Retaliation: “Pencil Nick” is revealed

Memorable Moments

• Genuine, uncensored relationship drama as Lisa’s rollercoaster with Bob turns into a comical farce, crowned by her revenge confession and Bob’s underwhelming love note.
• Physical comedy via public shock collar pranks provides classic radio snickering.
• Jane Fonda’s wisdom and candor about self-acceptance, recovery from bulimia, and why she champions youth health initiatives in Georgia.
• Revenge done right, when office prank victim Mary turns the tables on her coworker, showing nobody’s safe from The Bert Show’s brand of morning comedy.

Tone & Takeaway

The Bert Show remains a blend of the irreverent and the sincere. The hosts crack jokes, tease each other, and their guests, but also create space for honest, sometimes vulnerable conversations—be it Jane Fonda’s lifelong journey to self-acceptance or the lingering aftereffects of betrayal in relationships. Sit back for the laughs, surprising truths, and the abiding spirit that reminds you: you’re never the only one navigating life’s messiest moments.