The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, December 23 [Vault]

Air Date: December 23, 2025
Host(s): Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into a variety of high-energy, entertaining, and sometimes spooky topics that feed the show's morning-drive reputation for laughs, authenticity, and listener engagement. The main segments feature a chilling deep-dive into a listener’s haunted house experience, a lively debate on jealousy and boundaries in relationships (particularly surrounding strip club visits), and real-life dating disasters where dates ended before they began. Throughout, hosts and listeners share personal stories, provide unfiltered takes, and spark plenty of laughs.

Haunted Houses in Atlanta: Bill’s Story

Segment Starts at [01:06]

Key Points & Insights

• Listener Email: Bill from Douglasville claims his house is haunted and sends in eerie photos and audio files for the team and listeners to evaluate.
• Hosts’ Analysis of Evidence:
  • The photos reveal odd reflections and orbs, which some associate with spiritual presence.
  • Audio files sent by Bill, recorded when no one was home, capture unexplained noises and a child’s voice calling for “Mommy”.
    • “This is the sounds of...he had set up recorders in his house. Then he and his wife and his kids left... and then they hear this. Nobody in the house.” – D [02:57]
• Reactions From The Team:
  • Multiple hosts express genuine fear and reluctance; “If this is me, the first thing that happens like that, I’m. I’m out. I’m gone. For sale sign. Leaving.” – D [03:59]
• Interview With Bill:
  • Bill promises the hosts: “I could probably arrange it where y’all could actually come out with one of the ghost hunter teams if you’d like… I got one scheduled to come out…in about two weeks.” – E [04:51]
  • Bill and his family have experienced repeated paranormal events: sheets pulled from beds, dogs terrified, objects vibrating, and direct communication from spirits, including voices and singing from a child.
  • The house’s history is dark – built over the remains of an 1879 home, with several confirmed deaths on the property, including children and their mother.
  • “I mean, we’ve had probably about six or seven [spirits] seen at one time. One of the teams actually called out a couple names of the deceased that used to live in the house…” – E [06:47]
  • Bill documents evidence extensively, including thermal anomalies, photos of “spirit orbs”, and audio of strange phenomena.
  • The neighborhood itself is no refuge: “My neighbor’s house is also haunted… they did an exorcism over there about two months ago. And the whole land is just like that… there’s been eight deaths right in the vicinity of my house.” – E [13:12]
  • On negative spirits: “There’s one or two that are really not too nice...you’ll hit a real, real bad negative, like a wall. And you’ll know, don’t go no farther or just turn around and go away...” – E [14:09]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If it was like a battle between me and the spirit. I’m putting my money on the spirit. I’m not. I cannot win. So I. Yeah, they can have the house.” – F [04:05]
• “[My dog] will usually let you know when something’s around...they’ll start barking at something...sometimes they’ll just pee right there they get so scared.” – E [06:05]
• “The first time [the dresser vibrated] happened on Sunday, it happened twice on Sunday...about five or six of the orbs around my dresser.” – E [10:00]
• “We have probably about 15 pictures...with faces attached to them. I got one of like a little baby...and I got them of...entities in my yard that are kind of like evil looking but kind of...fiery looking.” – E [12:12]
• “That’s the gate to hell.” – D [15:09]

Relationships & Strip Clubs: Jealousy, Boundaries, & Real-Life Stories

Segment Starts at [17:31]

Key Points & Insights

• Hot Take from Celebrity Gossip: The team covers Christina Aguilera’s breakup—her boyfriend couldn’t handle her playful antics at a strip club, despite himself receiving a lap dance.
  • “He is getting a lap dance from somebody professional. She is...giving a lap dance to some random dude...That is totally and completely different.” – D [18:18]
  • “My argument is that both of the men are getting aroused and both of the women don’t care about the guys that they’re arousing.” – F [19:18]
• Listener Calls – Relationship Jealousy Flashpoints:
  • Several women call in to share personal experiences of attending strip clubs with their partners—almost universally ending in jealousy, awkwardness, or outright breakups.
  • Robbie’s Story: Prompted a breakup after her boyfriend enjoyed his strip club lap dance a bit too much, despite her suggesting the idea.
    • “He was way too into it...While she’s dancing for him, I’m sitting next to him, she’s having a whole conversation with me.” – H [22:07]
  • Jessica's Story: A boyfriend gets too up close with a stripper on his birthday; Jessica reacts by throwing her water bottle at the dancer and physically pulling her boyfriend away.
    • “I told him he didn’t need to be close enough where he can smell it. I was so pissed.” – H [26:13]
  • Lindsay's Story: She suggests a strip club but is confronted with “the way that her boyfriend was looking at them,” prompting instant regret (and, eventually, divorce for unrelated reasons).
    • “You think it’s going to be something different and you get there and it’s not...it’s that gut instinct that makes you want to vomit.” – H [28:05], G [28:10]
• Hosts’ Reflections:
  • “Jealousy is such, like, a gut human emotion that it is so hard to try to prevent it.” – G [23:56]
  • “Guys are going to buy their wives a lap dance from a woman, but how many guys...would sit there and buy a lap dance from a guy for his woman...and not feel a little threatened?” – F [24:55]
  • “My advice: if you’re thinking of [taking your man to a strip club], take him to a batting cage or something instead.” – C [28:35]

Dating Disasters: When the Date Ends Before It Starts

Segment Starts at [34:39]

Key Points & Insights

• TV Reference: A Desperate Housewives plot trigger—Susan ditches her date before it starts after a minor but telling red flag—leads Bert to ask for real-life stories of dates ending before arrival.
• Listener Nicole’s Story:
  • Her date rolls up her car window (rather than his own), crushing and bleeding her acrylic nails.
    • “He begins to roll the window up. He rolls it all the way up, and it breaks my nails...I was in so much pain.” – H [35:44]
• Listener Beth’s Story:
  • Gets left standing outside the car as her date starts the engine. He rolls down her window and asks, “You gonna get in?” She promptly walks back inside to her sweatpants.
• Listener Trish’s Story:
  • Male date lights up a joint en route to dinner. She fakes a detour to a friend’s house and ends the evening instead of continuing the date.
    • “You are kidding. No...Let’s stop and see my friend...I cannot do this first date.” – H [37:26]
• Host Commentary:
  • “Guys are idiots...that we can’t get through just three hours. We can’t put the face on for three hours to get through a date, you know?” – D [38:02]
  • “If that’s what those guys are going to do on the first date, can you imagine being with them for years?” – G [38:11]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You hit, like, a real, real bad negative, like a wall. And you’ll know, don’t go no farther or just turn around and go away, because it’ll be real, real negative. And that’s usually when I know that it’s going to be a rough night of sleeping.” – Bill [14:09]
• “It was your idea to go. It was your idea to get him a lap dance, not for him to enjoy it.” – G [22:24]
• “Instead of him rolling his window up, he proceeds to roll my window up. Mind you, my arm is kind of sitting in the window a little bit. Right. He begins to roll the window up. He rolls it all the way up, and it breaks my nails.” – Nicole [35:44]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:06] – Launch into Bill’s haunted house story
• [04:42] – Live interview with Bill on the hauntings
• [13:12] – Bill discusses neighborhood history and deaths
• [17:31] – Christina Aguilera/strip club relationship debate begins
• [20:25] – Listener Robbie’s breakup over a strip club visit
• [26:51] – More listener calls about jealousy and strip clubs
• [34:39] – Dating disasters: real-life stories where the date ends early

Tone and Style

The episode brims with the Bert Show’s signature authenticity, humor, and relatable banter. Hosts openly tease each other, rib listeners, and bring vulnerable or awkward truths to light with compassion and self-deprecation. The haunted house segment is playfully skeptical but genuinely creeped out, the strip club debate is candid (and sometimes raucous), and the dating disaster call-ins earn both laughs and sighs of commiseration.

Summary Conclusion:
This episode encapsulates The Bert Show’s signature blend of real talk, candor, and high-energy entertainment. From spooky local tales that’ll have you leaving the lights on, to heated (but funny) debates about jealousy, to cringe-inducing first date stories, it’s a wild ride through the weird and wonderful side of relationships, community, and the human experience.