Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, February 3 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, February 3 [Vault]

Date: February 3, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Featured Cast: Bert, Matt, Melissa, Jamie, Patty, Mitch, Christy, others

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Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show delivers its trademark blend of humor, candid conversations, and listener stories. From the hilarity of St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans and spontaneous duck hunts, to intensely personal tales of survival and morality, the cast balances lighthearted banter with real, empathic discussions about life’s toughest decisions. They delve into missed romantic chances, the ethics of survival sex work, and the universal frustrations of urban traffic—inviting listeners to chime in and share both laughs and lessons.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. St. Patrick’s Day Duck Hunt, Missed Connections, and the Search for "Ally"

• (00:00–08:26)

  • Matt’s St. Patty’s Day Adventure

    • Matt recounts getting “his drink on” at Park Tavern’s annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration, featuring a quirky contest: a hunt for rubber leprechaun ducks with $1,000 in prizes.
      “It’s like mixing St. Patrick’s Day with Easter, but instead of hiding eggs, they're hiding ducks...” – Bert (00:55)

  • Romantic Missed Connection

    • Matt, who dominated the duck contest, recalls meeting Ally—a striking woman with “really amazing eyes, most innocent I’ve ever seen... looked a lot like Renee Zellweger” (01:12).
    • Despite feeling a strong chemistry, all he left with were details: her name, brown eyes, blonde hair, a brother in Vegas, love for Survivor, and she’s a student (likely Parkview), 21–25, about 5’4”.
    • The show rallies listeners (especially the Wednesday Night Drinking Club community) for help tracking her down.
    • Notable Listener Call:
      • Mitch, a listener, reports having a picture of Ally with her friends at the event, promising to send it in, amping up hopes for a reunion.

  • Memorable Quotes:

    • “Do you love her?” – Bert (04:09) “I’m in LIKE with her, Jeff.” – Matt (04:12)
    • “Talking duck strategy right now.” – Bert (08:15)

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2. Survival, Desperation, and the Ethics of Sex Work

• (08:27–21:38)

  • Listener Patty’s Story

    • Patty calls in, voice disguised, courageously sharing her experience of homelessness and turning to prostitution out of necessity after moving to Atlanta alone.
    • She paints a vivid, painful picture: arriving with $400, no ID, bouncing between motels, being recruited by a "pimp," and emotionally struggling for months (10:07–15:32).
    • She describes the psychological toll: “I would just break down all the time... Just scrubbing yourself. It’s a sick feeling... you just have to keep your mind going and get off of what you’re doing.” (12:02, 14:29, 15:05)
    • Patty is now a secretary, married, but her husband does not know this part of her past. She’s never told anyone before.

  • Diverging Perspectives

    • Angela, another caller, challenges Patty’s account: “I don’t believe in this necessity thing... I got three jobs and put myself through high school. I never went to prostitute.” (15:55)
    • Patty responds, underscoring how individual differences and a lack of safety net shape choices:
      “I guess we’re all made differently... I wasn’t thinking. I mean, I was looking for money. And if you go to work at Publix, you’re going to have to wait for money.” (17:37–18:06)
    • Jamie and Matt note the importance of empathy and context:
      “In those desperate times, you’re not really thinking all that clearly either.” – Jamie (18:02)
    • Patty says, given another chance:
      “I guess I would just go back home and just be defeated... I wouldn't have lost that part of me.” (18:45–19:01)

  • Support and Reflection

    • Callers Sam and Christy voice support for Patty’s courage; the hosts encourage therapy and reflection.
    • Matt closes:
      “You don’t realize that kind of desperation... Sometimes people just don’t have a safety net. It’s scary, man.” (20:41)

  • Notable Quotes:

    • “I mean, I just... I can relate to the girl. I mean, I don’t think that she should be looked down on. I mean, she was homeless. I mean, we were homeless. We didn’t have—what else are we going to use?” – Patty (12:33)
    • “You don’t wake up and, oh, I want to be a prostitute today.” – Patty (15:32)
    • “It’s just like that primal instinct... you gotta live.” – Patty (18:06)

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3. Road Rage, Commuter Frustrations, and Urban Traffic Culture

• (21:45–32:13)

  • The Cast's Traffic Gripes

    • Melissa’s notorious road rage is on display:
      “I can’t stand not moving. For some reason, I feel that everybody in front of me is purposely doing it to keep me from where I need to be.” – Melissa (21:54)
    • The group swaps stories and rules: one-car merge policies, the ethics of letting others in, and the satisfaction of seeing rude drivers pulled over.
    • Bert reminisces about “Spy Hunter” and jokes about Melissa needing a tricked-out car (23:14).

  • Caller Christy’s Revenge Fantasies

    • Christy admits she wants to call 911 on tailgaters and people who cut her off but wonders about the legality.
    • The cast clarifies: it’s illegal to make a false drunk driver report, but reporting reckless driving is legitimate (25:54–28:10).

  • Listener Experiences and Cop Advice

    • A caller married to a police officer fantasizes about installing scrolling LED “message boards” in her car to communicate with annoying drivers (29:03).
    • Another shares satisfaction at reporting reckless drivers and seeing them pulled over (29:31).
    • General consensus: urban driving is survival of the fittest.

  • Notable Quotes:

    • “It’s survival of the fittest out there, people.” – Matt (23:12)
    • “If you’re in the left hand lane, go fast, right?” – Christy (27:38)
    • “Traffic makes me hate people.” – Sam (28:32)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start | Notable Moments | |---------------------------------------------|----------|--------------------------------------------------------| | St. Patty’s, Duck Hunt & Missed Connection | 00:00 | Matt’s story and call to find Ally (00:00–08:26) | | Survival and Sex Work Discussion | 08:27 | Patty’s call (08:27–21:38) | | Urban Road Rage & Traffic Culture | 21:45 | Merging, “Spy Hunter” jokes, and caller stories |

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Notable Quotes & Highlights (with Timestamps)

• On the Duck Hunt and Missed Connection:

  • “It’s like mixing St. Patrick’s Day with Easter, but instead of hiding eggs, they’re hiding ducks...” – Bert (00:55)
  • “I’m in LIKE with her, Jeff.” – Matt (04:12)

• On Survival and Desperation:

  • “You don’t wake up and, oh, I want to be a prostitute today.” – Patty (15:32)
  • “You gotta live. You gotta find a way to live.” – Patty (18:06)
  • “You just don’t think sometimes in those terms that some people just don’t have that… Like, if it all goes to crap tomorrow, there’s no way out.” – Matt (20:41)

• On Traffic and Road Rage:

  • “It’s survival of the fittest out there, people.” – Matt (23:12)
  • “If you’re in the left hand lane, go fast, right?” – Christy (27:38)
  • “Traffic makes me hate people.” – Sam (28:32)

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Tone and Style

The Bert Show maintains a conversational, comedic, yet sincere tone throughout, balancing laughter and playfulness (especially around contests and commuter woes) with deep empathy and openness when discussing listeners’ life struggles. The hosts never shy away from challenging topics, offering a judgment-free space for stories of vulnerability and survival.

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For New Listeners

This episode captures The Bert Show’s full spirit: funny, authentic, and fearless in taking on both the trivial and the truly serious. Whether you’re here for morning laughs, human drama, or urban commiseration, this episode draws you in—reminding you there’s room for both catharsis and comedy in everyday life.

Transcript

[Bert]

The Birch Show.

[Matt]

Hey, Matt, what's going on, man?

Hey, good morning, guys.

[Melissa]

Hi.

[Matt]

Matt here was getting his drink on pretty good at park Tavern for St. Patrick's Day and missed the golden opportunity, right?

Yeah, pretty much. I had a Red Bull Vodka. Actually, I was drinking Red bull at about 10 in the morning last Saturday amidst all the snow. I decided to go down to Park Tavern for their annual St. Patty's Day party. And they had a duck contest, and they were asking people to look for little rubber leprechaun ducks and entertaining to.

Drink a traditional St. Patty's Day at Park Tavern. Wag. Wag.

[Bert]

Hey, what size?

[Matt]

I was wondering why, but Park Tavern was giving away $1,000 in cash to the people who found the most leprechaun ducks all over the tavern. So for each duck you found, they would give you a raffle ticket for a chance to win one of the five $200 prizes.

[Bert]

And it's like mixing St. Patrick's Day with Easter, but instead of hiding eggs, they're hiding ducks, and they're not doing it on either holiday. It makes perfect sense.

[Matt]

Somebody was so drunk when they brainstormed that around a whole bunch of other drunk people.

[Bert]

I don't think that was drinking.

[Matt]

Yeah. So go ahead, Matt. So there you are.

Yeah. So I ended up finding 31 of the 100 ducks, which almost assured me of one of the prizes. And then she came along. Her name is Allie. That's a about all I know. And she has the most. Actually, she has really amazing eyes. Most innocent I've ever seen. And she looked a lot like Renee Zellweger. And she had my attention from the beginning. Actually, she came to me asking me to purchase some of my ducks for $10. I didn't want to risk my chances, you know, winning the thousand for only ten bucks. But to make a long story short, I felt an amazing chemistry between both of us. I guess it could have been the Red Bull, but, yeah, it felt really cool.

[Bert]

Is that stuck in your pocket, or you just happened to see me?

[Matt]

Yeah, but in a short time, I found out that she had a brother in Vegas, she had a thing for Survivor, and that she was in school. But like a little girl, I didn't get one piece of information I had to have, and that was her phone number.

[Mitch]

Little girl, you a little girl Little.

[Bert]

Girl, little girl, little girl, little.

[Matt]

I do love.

[Bert]

We still laugh hard every time he plays.

[Matt]

All right, but we got a couple of things to go on here. I mean, we know where she was. We know her name Was Ally, do you remember what color her eyes were?

Brown.

[Melissa]

Yeah, you say that with confidence. Or you were had to think they were brown.

[Matt]

Okay, we know that she sort of looks like Renee Zellweger. We know that she's got her brother in Vegas and she's got some weird thing like she really digs the show Survivor.

[Jamie]

And she's in school.

[Matt]

Right.

[Melissa]

You don't know which school though.

[Matt]

Parkview.

[Jamie]

That would be very Bert show. And this is not a party that happened this just this weekend. But it was last weekend at Park Tavern. Right?

[Matt]

Right. Yeah, when it was snowing, all that stuff.

[Jamie]

And wasn't that the Wednesday night drinking club party?

[Patty]

Yes.

[Matt]

Okay, that could help.

[Bert]

Well, that explains the ducks, the missing of the holiday and the hiding them like Easter eggs.

[Melissa]

Missing of the holiday, the drinking club, drinking games.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Hey, why don't you just put them all in costume and let them sit on Santa's lap while they're there.

[Matt]

You don't remember anything else about her? That's all you have?

That's about it. That's all I got.

[Melissa]

Lindsay got a first name.

[Jamie]

About how old do you think she is?

[Matt]

Yeah, I guess about. Well, she had to be 21 to be at the party, so. 21 to maybe 25. She's in school, so.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Matt]

Blonde hair.

Yep.

Okay.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jamie]

About how tall do you remember?

[Matt]

Shorter than me. So let's see. About five. I mean girls average about five, four, maybe five to five, seven. Somewhere in there.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Bert]

Do you love her?

[Matt]

I'm in like with her. Jeff.

I think the Wednesday night drinking club might be the best thing that we got going for us on this whole.

[Jamie]

Thing because so many people are connected and they all hang out together a lot.

[Matt]

They're a tight knit group.

[Jamie]

I have a friend who was one of the coordinators of the party too. I can call her and see if there's any way to track names of people. Or maybe if she bought a ticket online I could see if she can look up the list or something.

[Matt]

Oh, wow. Well, you have to remember this was 10 in the morning. Like the party went till 3 in the morning, so it's long straight. I don't know if. I mean, I'm sure people had other things going on.

[Bert]

If you're, if you're friends with a girl who got there at 10 in the morning, you know who that girl is?

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah. I think it's. I think if we have a better shot, the fact that you were there at 10:00am Totally.

[Matt]

All right, so here's what we're looking for if you think you might have a connection here with this Ally. She's got brown eyes, a little Renee Zellweger. Like her brother lives in Vegas, and she's a big old fan of the show survivor. She's about 21 years old, maybe 5 foot 4. And she was at Park Tavern for their St. Patty's Day blowout. And that is a Wednesday night drinking club event. So if you're in Wednesday night drinking club, you may know a couple of alleys. Then give us a call right now. 404-741-Q100. And we'll see if we can tie them in together. All right, Matt, hold on one second. And we'll see if we get any bites. At this point, we don't have any, but sometimes it takes 24 hours to put these things together. If we get anything over the next couple of minutes, we'll get you back on. And if not, if we get anything after the show, we will try to tie up all the loose ends after the show and get you on tomorrow morning.

That was awesome. Thanks, Bert.

Okay, good luck.

[Melissa]

And I think also with the Wednesday night drinking club, people like the fact that it was in the whole duck contest, as funny as that is, I mean, the fact that Ally went up to mat to try to buy off some of his ducks, I mean, I think that's a key to the puzzle too.

[Jamie]

And it was their super bowl over this weekend, so I'm not surprised that not too many of them are listening right now.

[Matt]

They're not.

[Bert]

Right?

[Jamie]

It is St. Patrick's Day. I mean, yeah, they could still be.

[Matt]

Drinking green beer or they're putting the makeup on. They're putting the green stuff on right now for tonight.

[Jamie]

They're getting ready.

[Matt]

Yeah, you're right. It's like football players in a locker room hitting each other on the shoulders. Headbutting. For tonight, we're looking.

[Bert]

Slapping a sign as they run into Park Tavern.

[Matt]

Yeah, we're looking for an alley. Brown eyes, a little Renee Zellweger. Ish. She's got a brother in Vegas, big fan of Survivor. And she was at park tavern for their St. Patty's Day blowout last weekend.

[Jamie]

Yeah, Brittany from Q100 was there at that party.

[Matt]

Hey, Jamie, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Christy]

Hey, guys.

[Matt]

Love the show.

[Christy]

How you guys doing today?

[Matt]

Good, sir. How are you?

[Bert]

Great.

[Matt]

I just wanted to point out, I.

[Mitch]

Thought it was quite funny that he.

[Matt]

Says she's quite Renee Zellweger ish. And he loves her eyes.

I've Never seen Renee Zellweger's eyes in my life.

Cause they are so small.

[Bert]

Valid point.

[Matt]

Before we move on to commercials, we may have a lead on Ally.

[Patty]

Oh, okay.

[Matt]

Hey, Mitch.

[Mitch]

Hey. Hey, Berto. How you doing?

[Matt]

What's up, man?

[Mitch]

I was there 10 o' clock in the morning, and I do have a picture of Ally. She was with another girl. They were all wearing green.

[Jamie]

Cute.

[Mitch]

And I think Tim was the one that was wearing a white suit. Tim's a big guy. Big tall guy wearing a white sweater.

[Matt]

Who's Tim?

[Mitch]

What's the guy that's trying to find Allie?

[Matt]

I thought his name was Matt.

[Jamie]

Matt.

[Christy]

Matt.

[Mitch]

Matt. Because he is the one that actually earlier started getting all the. Got all the ducks and everything. Very first thing.

[Bert]

Yeah, there's ducks all in a row.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Mitch]

I've got a picture of her. She was hot. I'm a gay man, but we love beautiful women. That's why I wanted to take a picture of her. I got a picture of her and three other girls. I do have it. I can send it to you and just. I know it's her.

[Matt]

That would be great. Yeah. Because that. That way for sure we would. We'll find her. If you could send us that picture, we'll put it up online and somebody will email us and we'll be able to get them together.

[Bert]

I hope Matt's friends give him the credit that he deserves for finding 37 of the 100 ducks at Park Town.

[Mitch]

He got there early. It wasn't fair either. He got there with before he started. He had them all before we even started.

[Matt]

Dude, that's working a little too hard.

[Bert]

I'm just saying, talking duck strategy right now.

[Matt]

Do us a favor, Mitch. Will you send us a picture today so we can get it up online as early as possible?

[Mitch]

I'll send it right now.

[Jamie]

All right, man.

[Matt]

Thank you.

Bye.

[Patty]

Bye.

[Bert]

The Birch Show.

[Matt]

So the question here is, what have you guys done out of desperation for cash? And Patty called in. Hey, Patty.

[Patty]

Hey.

[Matt]

You're on the voice disguiser.

[Patty]

Okay.

[Matt]

What's up?

[Patty]

Hi. How is everyone?

[Jamie]

Good.

[Matt]

Doing good, thank you.

[Patty]

I'm a little nervous. I'm sorry.

[Melissa]

Don't be nervous. And you're on the voice disguiser, so nobody knows who you are.

[Patty]

Okay. So I can totally relate to her.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Patty]

I came to Atlanta like six years ago, and I was homeless for a while. I was living in one of those budget motels that you pay bi weekly. And I didn't have any money to pay for the next week, so I had to prostitute and it's kind of scary because you come and you don't have any money and you have to sell yourself just to have some money or something to eat or, you know, it's just scary.

[Matt]

Did you literally like put on like a sexy outfit and walk up and down a street?

[Patty]

I did. I was in Tucker. I don't know if y' all know where Tucker is, you know. And then I would. I had. I had brought my clothes with me and I had this like fur coat, this faux fur coat and one of those. It's a stretch, like a one piece dress, really short and I had heels on. And I would just get out there. And then I got up with this one black guy. I don't know, I don't remember his name, but he took me to Buckhead one weekend and that's where I made the most money.

[Matt]

And you went to a hotel or you went back to his place or a car or what?

[Patty]

We just. I would do it. I would get out there on Buckhead, you know, it was a horrible area. And I would just walk up and down the road and then I would get in the car with whoever stopped.

[Melissa]

So are you saying that he became your pimp?

[Patty]

Yes.

[Matt]

Okay, okay, okay. So he notices you, he brings you into Buckhead.

[Patty]

Yes.

[Matt]

And then you start walking up and down the streets in Buckhead?

[Patty]

Yes.

[Matt]

So the first night you were out there in Tucker, he picked you up and said, look, I can help you out.

[Patty]

I was there for like three days. And then I just had enough money just to pay for that one week. Because where I came from, I had stole the petty cash because I was in some trouble where I came from. And I had to steal some money. I didn't have any money. So I had to sell the petty cash. And I got here with like $400. And I had to pay, it was 199 for one week at one of those like weekly things, you know, I paid that. And I was looking for work for real. I mean, I would go out and I would go to the Pizza Hut and no one wanted to hire me because I just got here. I didn't even have any ID or anything.

[Jamie]

How long did you do it?

[Patty]

I did it for like three months.

[Jamie]

Three months. How'd you get out of it?

[Patty]

Well, one of the people that I was with offered to take me out of it, you know, for me to stay with them for a little while until I can get on my feet and not have to do that anymore. And so that's how I got out of it because I went and stayed with him.

[Matt]

It must be that first time that you put on, like, the sexy outfit with the intention of going out there and being a prostitute for the very first time. There must be a point where you look at yourself in the mirror and.

[Patty]

Just break down all the time. I mean, my lowest point was when I came back from doing it with this old man. He was older, but he had a nice car. And I was in the bathroom and the condom fell out. It had slipped off, I guess, and it was disgusting. I was so scared.

[Matt]

Are you married now?

[Patty]

I am. I'm married now.

[Matt]

Does he know that part of your history?

[Patty]

No, he does not know.

[Matt]

He doesn't have any idea.

[Patty]

I would never, ever tell. I mean, it's. I mean, I just. I can relate to the girl. I mean, I don't think that she should be looked down on. I mean, she was homeless. I mean, we were homeless. We didn't have. What else are we going to use? I mean.

[Jamie]

When you said we were homeless, who's we?

[Patty]

Well, I was talking about that girl that. That did it with the governor.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So you.

[Patty]

I mean, I can totally relate to her. And, I mean.

[Matt]

Right.

[Jamie]

I just wondered if it was you and a child or you and a friend or.

[Patty]

No, it was me. I mean, I didn't have anybody. I didn't know anybody here, and I was running away from my life.

[Matt]

What do you do now for a living?

[Patty]

Well, I'm a secretary.

[Matt]

And obviously nobody knows that that's part of your history. But that was. That whole prostitution thing. Was that the turning point? Like, I mean, you made enough money to sort of turn around your life, right?

[Patty]

Well, I did. I mean, I didn't make a whole lot of money because that guy was taking a big chunk of it. I mean, it's ridiculous. When you get in with a guy like that, they give you, like, so little of the money that you're making, you just wonder, what is the point? I mean, you're just like a sex slave. Doesn't even give you anything. I mean.

[Jamie]

Do you think you were changed forever?

[Patty]

I totally was. I mean, I'm scarred. I mean, I'm scarred forever because of what I did. And I would hate to think that when I have a child that she would have to go through that, you know? I mean, they say that there's women that like to do that, but I cannot imagine it.

[Matt]

Have you ever told anybody this part of your history?

[Patty]

I've never told anyone. I mean, it's. It's. It's just so painful to remember it because I can still see myself like today, like it was just yesterday.

[Jamie]

How often do you think about it?

[Patty]

I think I think about it pretty often. I mean, especially when you're. You're looking at yourself. You know, you're getting undressed, you're getting ready to take a shower. You just start remembering the feeling of getting back to the apartment and just scrubbing yourself. I mean, you just. It's a sick feeling. It's sickening. I mean, it's just a sick feeling because it's just disgusting to some of these people you have to be with. I mean, they're just disgusting.

[Matt]

What do you do? Just like, you just, like, mentally check out, so it just becomes a physical thing. And you're not even in mentally, even in that room.

[Patty]

It's hard. It's really hard to do that. But you have to try. I mean, I would try to think about, you know, what I'm going to do with my life, you know, or I would think about my childhood and the things I did or school, you know, you just have to keep your mind going and get off of what you're doing. I mean.

[Matt]

Yeah, when you think about that, like, everybody that does that for a living was an innocent little girl at one point, and everybody's future was all shiny and bright.

[Patty]

Yeah, exactly. It is so, so hard. I mean, you don't. You don't wake up and, oh, I want to be a prostitute today. I mean, I do not believe any woman that says, oh, I'm just going to be a prostitute today. I mean, I think it comes because of necessity. They do it, you know, and then some just don't get out of it.

[Matt]

Hey, Angela, you're on Q100. Go ahead.

[Angela]

I'm sorry. I just don't believe in this necessity thing. I moved out on my own when I was 16 years old. I got three jobs and put myself through high school. I never went to prostitute. I slept at friend's house until I could actually afford to get my own place. And then when I graduated high school, I had four jobs, and I always worked four jobs, and I did whatever it took. So I don't. I don't think it's a necessity. It's a choice. And if you choose to do that, you have to. It's not because you can't work at McDonald's or you can't work at Publix. Everybody's hiring, and you can find. I could find three jobs. So these girls saying that they couldn't find one Is unbelievable to me. So I don't buy the necessity thing.

[Matt]

Let's hear what Patty has to say about that. What's up Patty?

[Patty]

She's just like, I'm fine and dandy, but when you come to a state that you had know nothing about, you know no one, where are you gonna stay?

[Angela]

And that's what I did.

[Patty]

Take me in.

[Angela]

That's what I did. I moved to, from Jacksonville, Florida up to Atlanta. Knew nobody. But I got jobs and did what I need to do. I slept in my car. If it take, took slipping, sleeping in my car, not to have to afford a hotel or whatever, did whatever it took. And I just don't understand the need to go to prostit. There are jobs out there and for a 16 year old to finish high school and to work three jobs, it's saying that there are other options out there.

[Patty]

I thought you said you stayed with friends, but you're not just.

[Angela]

I did stay with friends when I first moved out and then I had, I moved up to Atlanta when I graduated, knew nobody and I had four jobs. I worked. I mean I would change in my car on the way to the next job because I was non stop. I got two hours sleep a night because that's what it took to do whatever it takes to make the money to get where I am today.

[Matt]

Patty, have you ever had any thoughts like that? Like maybe I just didn't try hard enough.

[Patty]

I mean, I do, I honestly do. I mean, but you know, you don't. I guess we're all made differently and we don't think the same. I mean, I wasn't thinking. I mean I was looking for money. I needed money. And if you go to work at Publix or any of these places, you're going to have to wait for money. So where was I going to get the money to pay for somewhere to say who was gonna take me in?

[Jamie]

And I'm sure in those desperate times, you're not really thinking all that clearly either.

[Patty]

No, I mean you're not. You're just desperate. It's just. You gotta live. You gotta find a way to live. I mean it's just like that primal, you know, that primal instinct, you know, you just gotta, you've got to do it and sure, I mean I've got a nice job now and I've got a nice place, you know, and I'm doing great now. But I mean, I think it's different for everybody. It's different strokes for different folks. I mean it's nice that she had A job and that she had places to stay and she had a car. Some of us were not so lucky.

[Jamie]

Looking back on it now, what would you do differently if you were in the same exact place?

[Patty]

I guess I would just go back home and just be defeated. I just would. I just wouldn't. I wouldn't have came. I would have just tried to work out the problems I had, you know, back home.

[Jamie]

Because back home wouldn't have been as bad as what you went through.

[Patty]

No, it wouldn't have. It would have been. It was bad, but it wasn't as bad, you know, I wouldn't have had to have lost that part of me, you know?

[Matt]

Yeah. I don't know if there's anything to add to that. I appreciate you calling. I mean, it's the first time that that story has crossed your lips since it happened.

[Patty]

It is. I mean, I thought about it. I thought about it, and then y' all had this thread today, so I was like, well, I think I should give my opinion and what has happened to me. And, I mean, it's not her fault. I mean, it's just a decision we make, and it was a bad one, but we made it.

[Matt]

All right. Just take one more call, then we'll move on. Go ahead, Sam, you're on Q100.

[Patty]

Hey.

[Sam]

I just wanted to say she doesn't need to be condemned about it.

[Christy]

You know.

[Sam]

Most people have a history that they aren't proud of, and there's nothing you can do about it now.

[Patty]

And at least she's on her feet.

[Sam]

Now, and she can't let guilt eat her alive every day.

[Matt]

And, you know, what's in the past.

[Sam]

Is in the past.

[Jamie]

I think, Patty, you could benefit from talking to a professional about what you went through.

[Matt]

Yeah. I don't know how you get over anything like that if you don't talk to somebody about it for sure. Right?

[Patty]

I mean, that's just true. I mean, I sit and. What? I don't want to explain where I'm going. Like, to the therapist, who's gonna have questions. My husband's gonna like, why are you going to the therapist? Are we having problems? You know, it's just gonna be. I'm gonna have to. It's a lot of stuff I'm gonna have to work out before I can.

[Matt]

Even then he'd think that there's something wrong with the marriage, and she'd have.

[Patty]

To keep saying that. Can of worms.

[Matt]

Oh, I appreciate you filling us in.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Thanks for sharing that with us.

[Matt]

I mean, you don't Realize that kind of desperation, you know, I have been lucky enough to where I have come from at least now. Like, if everything fell apart tomorrow for me, if everything fell apart, I would still be able to. Like, I have a safety net. Like, my mom would be my safety net. Like, and you just don't think sometimes in those terms that some people just don't have that. Like, if it all goes to crap tomorrow, there's no way out, you know? Scary, man.

[Jamie]

It's really scary. In the shoes of what she went.

[Matt]

Through, it's horrifying because you don't know how bad it was at home. It must have been so bad. I'm assuming there was some abuse involved.

[Bert]

Also, because it's so bad she's doing it.

[Matt]

So while you're like, there's no way that I can go back there, so if my only option is prostitution, then I'd rather do that than go back home. It must have been awful.

[Melissa]

Well, she stole money at her last job to make it to Atlanta. So she stole the petty cash. What she's talking about is the money that she got to Atlanta with.

[Bert]

So the bird show.

[Matt]

And we have detailed for you over the years that you'd be very hard pressed to find somebody that hates traffic more than Melissa Carter.

[Jamie]

That is true.

[Matt]

I mean, she's got this serious case of. Of road rage.

[Melissa]

Oh, I can't stand not moving. I can't stand. For some reason, I feel that everybody in front of me is purposely doing it to keep me for where I need to be.

[Matt]

I noticed this on Friday. People in this town will absolutely not allow you to merge. Never use your turn signal to try to go from lane to lane. In this city, you just got to.

[Jamie]

Stick your nose in.

[Matt]

You have to be aggressive.

[Melissa]

What's your fault that you weren't there anyway? I mean, to me, that's always the attitude of the people that when you try to merge into, it seems that they feel like, well, I mean, what you were trying to get in my lane for. Because you should have been there beforehand. Why are you trying to get in now?

[Matt]

I mean, it's just impossible. And you're going to save all of about 4 seconds of time if you let me in. You know, are you gonna. And then I find myself as that guy 100 yards down the road. So I'm frustrated at the guy that won't allow me to merge. But then once I get in his lane, somebody wants me to merge. I'm like, screw you. I've been here for 100 yards already.

[Jamie]

Do you do that. If you see somebody merge in, then you try to go get in front of them because you're like, oh, well, they just did it. They're going to be nicer to me because they just merged in sometimes.

[Matt]

I got a one car merge rule.

[Jamie]

That's it.

[Matt]

That's it.

[Jamie]

Only one in.

[Matt]

I'll get mad at somebody in front of me if they let more than one car merge.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Matt]

What are you doing, man? I got places.

[Melissa]

No, you got a one, then one, then one, then one. Yeah. If you sit, let everybody in, they'll take advantage of you. Don't be the weak car. Yeah, don't be the weak car.

[Matt]

Buck up.

[Jamie]

Buck up.

[Matt]

It's survival of the fittest out there, people.

[Bert]

I'm surprised Melissa hasn't outfitted her car like that old arcade game Spy Hunter.

[Melissa]

Oh, you know what I should.

[Bert]

Blades that come out of your hubcaps. Smoke and oil.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

I certainly give feedback to the people in front of me if they're like, even if they're.

[Jamie]

Feedback.

[Matt]

Yeah, feedback.

[Bert]

Go.

[Jamie]

Keep going.

[Melissa]

Don't let them out.

[Bert]

I had to yell at Jessica, like, is mad as I have been at her in a long time because we were on the 75, 85 where they come together going south. Yeah. And I don't know somebody, I can't remember what they did, but they either wouldn't let her over or whatever. And so when they went by, Jessica was doing this.

[Melissa]

Shooting the bird.

[Bert]

Yeah. And I couldn't see it because she did it next to her head and I wasn't even paying attention. But the person slammed on their brakes and slowed down. So now they were next to Jessica and they were like shrugging at her. And so then I'm like, that was that person's problem. And Jessica's like, well, this is what I did. And I legitimately got mad because you people like, so you know what I mean?

[Matt]

I've had that sheer panic, too. And I say I yell out my car or I flip somebody off. And then I realize that the. The light just went from yellow to red and they're going to be right next to me in five seconds. And I'm. Damn it, I'm going to have to have a real confrontation. Can't be a sissy about it any longer. It sucks. Well, Christie has.

[Bert]

You avoid eye contact. You pull a magazine out. He got the mail earlier that day. So you just start reading. Oh, man, this water bill is fascinating. Look at this year compared to last.

[Matt]

Christy might have it worse than you do. Melissa Carter. Good Morning, Christy.

[Christy]

Good morning, Burke Show.

[Matt]

How are you today?

[Christy]

I'm wonderful. How are you guys doing? Okay.

[Matt]

You have to get into this traffic every single day?

[Christy]

Yes, it's every day, but I mean, it's not, you know, just my morning commute. I mean, it's all the time. It's. I have an issue with people riding my bumper. Like, I don't understand why you ride my bumper. Does it mean that the longer you ride it, the faster I'm going to go? I mean, I don't get it. So on Friday, I was kind of at my wits end with this guy behind me because for like two miles, I mean, he was literally like six inches from my bumper. And I so just wanted to tap my brakes and just have them rear in me, but, you know, I didn't want to get into a wreck on my way to work. So anyway, I've had this thought twice now in the past month that, you know, like, these people, they get around me and then they get in front of me, and then they want to go slow to, like, get back at me or something. Well, when they're in front of me again, I'm looking at their license plate number. My get back to them would be wanting to call like 911 and report them as a drunken driver and get them pulled over. But both times I've hesitated because I don't know, could I get in trouble for that, like a false police report or.

[Melissa]

Well, I want to go, but yeah.

[Matt]

Sure, yeah, we had to get a police officer to call us and let us know. You can't do that.

[Melissa]

Lying to a cop and putting them through all that for no reason.

[Bert]

But listen to her question for one second. Melissa, like, she's like, I'm just wondering if that's legal. If I make something up and call the police about it.

[Melissa]

You know what? I can understand the. But I do want to go back to. Okay, so is it the same people that do this to you, or. I mean, because, I don't know, it's.

[Christy]

Been two different people.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Melissa]

And so they're riding upon your bumper, then they go around you, then they get in front of you and go slow.

[Christy]

Right. And on Friday, when this occurred, there was. He cut off a Mack truck to the right of me, and the Mack truck, like, blew his horn at him, and then he, like, there was a little gap in front of the Mack truck, so he got over to the right, and then I eased back just so that I could get his license plate number because I was, like, really tempted to call 911 on him and he got back in front of me and that's just how it happened. And you know, we got off at the same exit at the exact same time off dark road. So it was like he didn't get anywhere further or faster than I did. And I was just like, you know, didn't know if how that happened, you know, possible drunk driver. I mean I'm not saying like you know, cause an accident.

[Bert]

You don't think he, you don't think he's drunk?

[Christy]

No, probably not.

[Melissa]

I, well I, I'm, I'm just trying to clarify. So the truck is to your right and he's trying to get. Are you a slow driver in the left hand lane? Is what I'm.

[Christy]

No, no I'm not. No. I swear to God.

[Melissa]

You know, if I'm on your side or if I. Because slow traffic to the left really is a pet peeve.

[Matt]

I feel like.

[Christy]

Yeah, no, I'm definitely not one of those slow drivers in left hand lane. That pisses me off more than anything either. If you're in the left hand lane, go fast, right?

[Melissa]

Yeah. Well, okay.

[Christy]

But no, I was in a two lane road with thick traffic so you couldn't go anywhere in either lane.

[Jamie]

You can report reckless driving, right.

[Matt]

Instead of.

[Jamie]

You don't have to make up something. I mean whatever he was doing was obviously, you know, putting you and the other truck in danger. You can report that part, right?

[Christy]

Can you, can you just call 911 and say there's somebody driving reckless and given their license plate.

[Bert]

Well, you can say tailgating, right?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Driving recklessly, but you don't have to say they're drunk.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And if he cuts off like an 18 wheeler and all that, I just.

[Christy]

Maybe, I think maybe if I say they're drunk, it'll make the cops actually go out and pull them over. You know, for somebody tailgating, they probably would.

[Bert]

Yeah. Cuz then if there's a real drunk driver or maybe somebody who needs cop help and they're calling your, you know, they're following your false drunk driver. That's cool.

[Matt]

Yeah, I'd say that's completely illegal.

[Christy]

Hadn't even thought about that. Yeah.

[Matt]

Hey Tina, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Sam]

Morning. I normally don't call in, but this is one of those things where traffic makes me hate people. But my fiance is a police officer and I'll be riding with him and he gets tense in the passenger seat. He really hates riding with me because he says I have the worst road rage to That I was telling him and my mom not long ago that. Have you ever seen those scroll screens in store windows and stuff where they can type in whatever and it'll scroll? I tell them that I wish I had one on my front windshield and back windshield so that I could really give them a piece of my mind.

[Melissa]

That's a great idea.

[Matt]

You should read like Times Square, you know, with that scroll going across.

[Bert]

But you will get shot. Like, that's the same argument I had with Jessica. People will kill you now. Like people who have the same rage that you do will read that and without even thinking turn their car to the right and slam into you and knock you into the wall.

[Matt]

I can't wait till we're living in a time where everybody has those and you could actually see the text arguments going on in everybody's car together. Good morning, Sharon, you're on Q100.

[Patty]

Good morning.

[Sam]

I was just calling to let you guys know I have called the cops on a reckless driver twice. Once it was an 18 wheeler and both times I have seen the car pulled over and it is pulled. Probably the Swedish revenge. I never said they were a drunk driver. I just said I was in fear for my life. There was a reckless driver on the road who couldn't maintain his lane and was cutting cars off. And I was very dangerous. I was very scared. And, you know, I've got my young child in the car and they stayed with me on the phone until the cop gets behind him and pulls him over.

[Jamie]

Perfectly legal.

[Matt]

Is there anything sweeter that when you're in the fast lane and you're going along, you're tooling along pretty well also, you know, way over the speed limit, you shouldn't be. That when somebody comes behind you and starts flashing their lights at you to get over, even though you're going above the speed limit already and then 10 minutes later down the road they've been pulled over by a cop. Is there anything sweeter than that?

[Jamie]

You do pump your fist in the air. Take that.

[Matt]

So I would say, yes, it is illegal for you to call in somebody as a drunk driver, but it's certainly legit for you to call it in as a reckless driver.

[Christy]

Oh, I'm all for that. Which I'll definitely do next time and.

[Bert]

Make sure they are reckless and you're not just a little too aggressive or too.

[Patty]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Or too slow.

[Christy]

I'm not too slow. I swear. I'm not one of those people.

[Melissa]

I do. I will say that if you're in traffic and the car that Weaves in and out is those people irritate me as much as the slow drivers.

[Matt]

There's another sweet scene, too, when somebody is weaving in and out of traffic and they're causing everybody to slam on their brakes. And then they have the realization when they get to the intersection at the exact same time you did that, they just got all stressed out for zero because you're all going the same speed.

[Melissa]

I mean, I've got road rage. I don't do the weaving. I mean, I may get angry that I'm not getting somewhere, but I do. I am realizing that we all are trying to get somewhere at the same time, and your weaving is not making you any more. And the emergency. Anyway, the emergency lane people.

[Jamie]

Blood pressure rising.

[Melissa]

I just thought the weaving people. And that if you get off on an emergency lane because you think you're more spec. If your car is not overheating and you get in that emergency lane to get off in traffic, you. What Jeff said about slamming into you, you deserve to have a car block you for sure, because that's the emergency lane. You are not more special than everybody.

[Christy]

Else on the road.

[Matt]

Hey, allie here on Q100.

[Patty]

Oh, my God.

[Sam]

Hey, I just want to ask her to call, like, the police department, their. Whatever county she drives in. Tell her to call them directly instead of calling 911. Because I've been in an accident where I needed to call 911, and I've.

[Patty]

Been on hold for five minutes.

[Sam]

And I know they're busy people, but I just feel like it's a waste of their time. Like, I know it's a really important.

[Angela]

Thing, but, like, there are other really important emergencies that they need to be attending to.

[Bert]

I want to buy Melissa a car with OnStar and just hire the. Get the operator to randomly call her and see if she's okay. So it's like, you know how it's like OnStar. We see your airbags have gone off. It could just be like OnStar. Melissa, how are you feeling today? Do you need some chamomile tea? We put some in your glove compartment for you. The vert show.