Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, January 13 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, January 13 [Vault]

Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Original Air Date: January 13, 2026
Featuring: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and The Bert Show Cast (George, Tracy, Phil, Maggie, Jen, Ryan)

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives deep into the world of modern dating, social faux pas, and the surprising resilience of relationships. The team shares personal stories, listener confessions, and offers a humorous yet honest look at the highs and lows of romance, breakups, and questionable choices people make in the name of love. Key themes include dating fashion disasters, the “real” stories behind relationships, and tales of taking partners back after outrageous acts.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Modern Dating Observations and Male Fashion No-Gos

(01:53-10:21)

• Producer Tracy’s Observations:
  Tracy is in a relationship now but has been going out as a "wing woman" for her single friend, Maggie, leading to some pointed and hilarious takes on male behavior and fashion in the dating scene.

• “Cheesy is in the eye of the beholder.”
  Discussion around what counts as “cheesy” when it comes to dating behavior or appearance.

• Fashion and Behavior Don’ts for Men:

  • Wearing visors upside down (03:06)
  • Cutting off sleeves on t-shirts as a display of masculinity (03:28, 03:36)
  • Giving a woman a high five just because she’s attractive (03:53)
  • Overenthusiastic "rocking out" at small venues (04:00)
  • Wearing sandals with excessive straps or buckles (05:11)
  • Overly-sculpted or creatively shaped facial hair (06:27, 06:59)
  • Bringing female friends when out as singles (07:21)
  • Giving oneself a nickname (09:25)

Notable Quotes:

• “Every guy needs to take a step back and kind of look at themselves and ask: ‘Am I cheesy?’ Because 90% of you guys are.” — Maggie, (02:16)
• "If you're wearing sandals, you better be the Lord and savior." — Tracy, (05:41)
• "Don't sculpt your sideburns... If you're gonna have them, fine. And be really, really careful not to look like Dylan from 90210." — Maggie, (06:59)

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2. The Real Stories Behind Relationships

(10:22–19:03)

• Confessions from Listeners:
  The crew invites listeners to share the real and often hilarious (or scandalous) stories behind how they met their partners — versus the sanitized versions told to parents and friends.

  Stories include:

  • Meeting via late-night chat line, but telling friends and family “we met at the mall” (10:39-13:00)
  • Couple who met at a strip club but say they met at the bookstore (13:28-15:10)
  • Couple who met at a mental institution, but claim it was “Piedmont Park” (15:12-15:22)
  • Mutual attraction at a pool hall, told as "we just met in a club" (15:35-16:16)
  • Personal stories from hosts about their awkward meeting lines (16:32-17:06)

Notable Quotes:

• "You gotta remember, you gotta stick to the story. You can't end up changing it up, or people are gonna be like, 'Wait, didn't you meet at the mall?'" — Carla (caller), (12:31)

• "So you're stripping, this guy's tipping... And we've been dating for a year now." — Female Caller, (14:02)

• Rationalization Tactics:
  Listeners and hosts discuss the creative “half-truths” used to mask awkward or socially awkward meeting stories (16:18), and share body language “tells” for when a couple is lying about how they met (13:01).

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3. “I Can’t Believe They Took Them Back After…”

(21:45–32:41)

• Jennifer Wilbanks Case (“Runaway Bride”):
  The show discusses the infamous case where Jennifer Wilbanks, after disappearing before her wedding and lying to police (sentenced to probation, community service, and restitution), is still together with her fiancé. The cast speculates on what his friends must think and broadens out to the theme of wild relationship forgiveness.

• Listeners Reveal Outrageous Second Chances:

  • Taking back a partner after being stabbed in the neck with scissors (26:48–27:55)
  • Taking back an abusive partner after multiple assaults (28:22-28:43)
  • Taking back a girlfriend after sleeping with her mom (29:17–30:45)
  • Accepting a fiancée after having a child with another man (31:08–31:27)
  • Remaining with an ex after being shot in the neck (31:35–32:16)

Notable Quotes:

• “My friend Sam's girlfriend in high school stabbed him in his throat with a pair of scissors... he took her back and they got married.” — Caller, (26:48)
• "When you're dating... it never gets any better than that. So if she's stabbing you in the neck during the courting period, what is she gonna do five years in?" — George, (27:31)
• "I slept with her mom… And she took me back. We ended up dating another year.” — Caller, (29:27, 29:32)
• "He got shot in the neck from his best friend and he still took his ex-fiancé back." — Caller, (31:39)

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Self-Deprecating Humor:
  “After listening to this list, I realized I could go off and put a check mark by every single thing on this list. Everything on this list I have!” — George, (08:32)

• Nicknames Gone Wrong:
  “Don’t give yourself a nickname. My friend Maggie got hit on by two different guys. One called himself ‘The King’. The other called himself ‘G’… his name wasn't even George or anything.” — Maggie, (09:25)

• Relationship Confidentiality:
  “The only glitch is he says that we met at Borders and I say that we met at Barnes and Noble.” — Female Caller, (15:08)

• On Blind Forgiveness:
  “You know what? If you're cheating in your relationship, walk in the door with a neck brace on. Because if she finds out, that's exactly where she's going.” — George, (32:18)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• 01:53 – Dating faux pas, fashion disasters and Tracy’s fieldwork as a wingwoman
• 05:40 – Mandals (man sandals) debate
• 06:27 – Facial hair and grooming failures
• 09:25 – Don’t give yourself a nickname
• 10:22 – Real vs. fake “how we met” stories begin
• 13:28 – Stripper/bookstore love story confessional
• 15:12 – Mental institution→Piedmont Park story
• 16:32 – Host shares embarrassing first line from partner
• 21:45 – Jennifer Wilbanks “Runaway Bride” update and discussion
• 26:48 – First “stabbed in the neck” story
• 29:17 – Slept with the girlfriend’s mom, taken back anyway
• 31:08 – Woman has a baby by another man, fiancé stays
• 31:35 – Got shot in the neck, took her back
• 32:18 – Quips on neck injuries and relationship warning signs

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Tone & Style

The episode is a lively, irreverent, and very candid conversation between hosts and their listeners. The humor is self-aware and frequently self-deprecating, even when tackling serious themes of heartbreak or questionable life decisions. Authenticity and relatability are paramount, with nothing off-limits—whether it’s mocking one’s own fashion choices or laughing off painful relationship histories.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show provides a raw, honest, and hilarious look at the ridiculousness of modern dating and human resilience (or stubbornness) in relationships. From fashion fails to get-back-together disasters, the show’s open forum for confession and commentary makes for a compelling and comical listen—even for those who haven’t tuned in.

Transcript

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[Jen]

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[Tracy]

The Burch show.

[George]

And when it comes to dating and relationships and just being out in the scene, I think in a lot of cases maybe if you're in the scene, you're too close to it so you don't have a good perspective on it. There's that word again. But producer Tracy went out over the weekend and she's seeing things while she's out and she's in a relationship right now. So she may be seeing things that women and guys aren't seeing because they're just too close to the situation.

[Maggie]

Thank God I am not single anymore because my friend Maggie is so like my assignment lately has been to go out with her and kind of be like her wing woman. And seriously, guys, everybody needs to. Every guy needs to take a step back and kind of look at themselves and ask Am I cheesy? Because 90% of you guys are. It's gotten insane. Like, I went to EastEnders this past weekend and just some of the observations I made there combined with some of the observations I made at our beach party. And we have a lot of good looking guys that come to our events, but a lot of you guys. Come on now.

[George]

Isn't cheesy in the eye of the beholder, though? Like what you might find cheesy, somebody else will find totally hot.

[Tracy]

That's the phrase. That's the phrase. Cheesy is in the eye to beholder.

[Maggie]

For example, it is never okay to wear a visor upside down. Like that's just stupid.

[George]

Even at a beach party.

[Maggie]

Well, wear it right side. Like, what's wrong with wearing it normal?

[Tracy]

Yeah, because wearing it upside down says I'm a little bit rebellious and I'm kind of a bad boy.

[Phil]

What about backwards and upside down?

[George]

Well, you gotta shade the back of your neck when you're at night.

[Phil]

You would be.

[George]

Yeah, at a party.

[Tracy]

And it's upside down because he's dyslexic.

[Maggie]

I don't know, along the same lines. Cutting off the sleeves of your T shirt does not mean you have big muscles.

[Phil]

Yeah, I never thought that was. I never thought that was a good look for a guy to have to cut off sleeves. And then once they cut the sleeves off, the shirt shows. I mean, it's just so redneck.

[Ryan]

It comes way down too far where you can kind of see the gut on the side. That's not pretty.

[Phil]

It's redneck.

[Maggie]

It is never okay to give a woman a high five just because she thinks she's hot.

[Ryan]

Who high five?

[George]

Where did that happen?

[Maggie]

This happened. This happened on night. This guy walks out of this guy walks by my friend Maggie, looks her up and down and then goes like, you know, sticks his hand up in the air like, oh, I look like what I see, so give me a high five. I was like, are you kidding me? It is not okay to throw your hands in the air like this and rock out to a guy in the corner doing covers of Bryan Adams. That's not a good look.

[Phil]

When is it ever a good look to do that? The rock out.

[George]

To do kind of the split face.

[Tracy]

In a rock concert.

[Phil]

The devil horns.

[Tracy]

Like, you know, if you're at an Aussie show, go for it, right?

[Ryan]

And that's it.

[Tracy]

If you're in a.

[Ad Announcer]

If.

[Tracy]

I mean, if you're at a hardcore, you know, one of our sister station rock bands, classic rock, whatever, go for It.

[Phil]

But a small venue regardless.

[Tracy]

Michael Bolton.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[George]

Yeah. It's got to be, like, you have to be, like, in your 40s and there for lover boy or something to be doing something like that. Head down.

[Phil]

Yeah. No.

[Ryan]

Or you've got to be in high school hanging out the top of a limo for prom.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Maggie]

But then afterwards, he tried to justify it. Like, that's the best song ever written right there, man. Like, dude, you're the only guy, like, rocking out. It's Bryan Adams, and it's not even the real guy.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Not hot. That right there, not hot.

[Maggie]

Okay, this goes back to the beach party. Please be very careful with the sandals you choose, because those can go from beachy to dorky really quickly.

[George]

Oh, my God. Jen and Jeff have said the same thing. Like, I wear sandals every day in work, and it drives them crazy.

[Ryan]

No, it doesn't drive me crazy. Cause you kind of got the California thing going on. But a friend of mine will not date a guy who wears mandals. She calls them mandals. Cause they're man sandals.

[George]

These are mandals.

[Maggie]

Here's a really good tip. If they have a buckle on them, it's not okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah, a buckle makes it amazing.

[Tracy]

Or I think more than two straps. Like, flip flops are okay. And then maybe if you're gonna do a sandal and you have a basic one, and maybe it goes behind the heel, but even I have an issue with that. Like, if you're wearing sandals, you better be the Lord and savior.

[George]

You better be walking across the desert.

[Tracy]

Sure. No desert, no water.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Like, I think flip flop.

[Ad Announcer]

Okay.

[Ryan]

As long as they are, like, event appropriate.

[Tracy]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And as long as they aren't, like, 25 years old, like Michael Checkaway's that are basically, like, skinnier than a penny.

[Tracy]

Because he goes to Walmart every season and stacks up new ones.

[Maggie]

All right, don't.

[George]

Dude, no.

[Jen]

Shut up. These are J.

[Ad Announcer]

Crew.

[Jen]

Dude.

[George]

Stop talking about me on the radio. I'm never gonna have sex again. No, you are never gonna have sex anyway.

[Tracy]

It's not the radio, son.

[Maggie]

Don't sculpt your sideburns. Like, if you're gonna have sideburns, fine. But if you shape them, like, that's bad.

[George]

People are still doing that. Like, that whole.

[Ryan]

Now, wait, wait. Phil, do this for a while. Where he had, like, the Backstreet Boys chin thing going on. Like, where he had, like, the hair along, like, from the sideline.

[Maggie]

To define his jawline.

[Ryan]

Yeah, to define the jawline. Because he was afraid of the little double situation happening.

[Maggie]

Well, I saw two guys that had it, so it almost, like, defined their cheekbone to where, like, it came down like this and, like, there was, like, a peak. Like, it, like, went all the way to, like, right here.

[Jen]

That's.

[Maggie]

Don't shape them. Like, if you're gonna have them, fine. And be really, really careful not to look like Dylan from 90210. Like, that's a little too long at that point.

[Phil]

Creative foot. Creative facial hair. Not good for a guy.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Tracy]

That's not a place to get creative with the art.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Maggie]

And wear clothes that fit you like. Is it too much to ask to find a shirt that's not too tight and pants that aren't too baggy? Like, that's not a good look.

[George]

Weren't you saying at the Buckhead beach party? Also, this wasn't necessarily a cheese factor, but, like, when guys bring other girls, like, friends with them, like, you're never sure as a girl if you should approach them or not.

[Maggie]

It's not even. You don't know if you should approach them. Like, if you're a single guy and you're going out, like, if there's any girl in your group, girls aren't going to approach you. So, like, if you're a single guy and you're going out with your best friend and his girlfriend and the three of you are saying they're talking, if I were single or my friends who are single, we're not going to walk up to you because even though that girl's not yours, she's singing, still going to judge you and kind of look at you. So it's just kind of the intimidation factor. So if you're not willing to walk out and talk to other girls, don't just stand there with any other female in your group.

[Ryan]

And there's a deciphering factor. Like, okay, which one is she with?

[Tracy]

Right.

[Ryan]

Like, is she with him or is she with him? And then there's, like, way too much analysis that has to go into it for you to approach that group.

[George]

If you want to make a million dollars and you're a woman, it just dawns on me. You know what? Get, like, a whole group of really cool women together that guys can hire to come over your house right before you leave to go out and tell you what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong. Dating coaches, a dating coach and go out with you for a couple of hours just to hang with you and tell you what you're doing right and tell you what you're doing wrong.

[Ryan]

Uh. Oh, look at creative facial hair just walked in.

[George]

Hey, Jebediah, what's going on? After listening to this list, I realized I could go off and put a check mark by every single thing on this list. Everything on this list I have.

[Phil]

Either you can high fived a good looking woman because she's hot.

[George]

Yes. I bought a visor two weeks ago. I'm wearing flip flops today. I am wearing the flip. I'm wearing bad facial hair today. Everything on this list I have done.

[Ryan]

Or.

[George]

Oh, cut off the sleeves on a shirt.

[Caller 1]

Why would you.

[Jen]

Why?

[Phil]

He's redneck.

[George]

Been there, done it.

[Phil]

Cause he's redneck.

[George]

I thought it would be funny and it kind of backfired on me. It was at the bowling thing that we did. You know what we need to do is we need to put a picture of a fill up on the website doing every offense you just mentioned all at the same time and stick it up there on Friday and say, if you're doing any one of these things with like little arrows pointed to all the offenses, then chances are pretty good you're not gonna do so great this weekend.

[Maggie]

Can I give you one more and see if Phil does it? Yeah, don't give yourself a nickname. My friend Maggie got hit on by two different guys. One called himself the King. The other called himself G.

[George]

My name's George, but my friends call me G. I think when.

[Tracy]

No, see, that's. I think that's acceptable.

[Maggie]

No, his name wasn't George. It didn't even start with a G. It was like, I don't know, John or something. But my friends call me G. I.

[Tracy]

Think the problem is. Hi, my name's George, but I like to call my Gee. You can call me that, too.

[George]

The edge. You have your. You have yourself a nickname. Oh, no, dude. What's my. What's. Oh, I can't say that, but G Dog. I've gone out and been G dog before. You are one walking cheese effect. You are 655.

[Tracy]

The Burch Show.

[George]

Everybody wants the romantic story on how they met. Everybody wants to be able to tell that tale, right? You know, when you've been with each other for 20 years, the most romantic story ever is the way we met. But the truth is, sometimes it's just not that romantic. You know, we are gonna call this Birch show listener Carla. Good morning, Carla.

[Caller 1]

Good morning, guys.

[George]

Hi. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller 1]

Good. Well, ours actually is not romantic at all. I was new to Georgia, and one of my girlfriends said, hey, you try one of Those, you know, chat lines, you know, at night, Friday night, Saturday night, they say, 1, 800, do you want to meet somebody? This and that. And, you know. So me and my girlfriend were like, yeah, we'll call. We'll leave a personal message and have people, you know, reply. So my current husband had actually replied one day, and we talked for a while, and then we met and started dating and everything. And then he got around to inviting me with his family and his friends. So I'm like, well, you know, what are we gonna tell him? Cause the only people who knew the truth was my best friend and his best friend, right? So he's like, oh, I already have that taken care of. I told him that we met at the mall. I saw you, and I came over, we started talking, and now we've been married for five years. We've got two kids, and our parents, his parents, my parents, families, friends. Other than our best friends, I think we met at the mall.

[Jen]

Good for you.

[George]

That's great. Good for you. Now, what kind of chat line is this? Are these a lot like those chat.

[Caller 1]

Rooms, like the Lava Life, you know, the ones at night, like on TV, 1, 800, such and such, you know, and they show this woman getting home from work, and she wants to see what. You know, they say, see what John is doing. He's a Such and such, you know, I know you've seen him. Burt, don't play.

[George]

Yeah, I have seen him. I've never called, but I have definitely seen him.

[Tracy]

Yeah, What? Like, when you, like, you say, you just say you met at the mall. Like, what is. Does anybody grill you even more? Like, oh, what were you? Like, what a coincidence. Like, does it ever get uncomfortable that people want too many details?

[Caller 1]

No, it's just that you just. You gotta remember, you gotta stick to the story. You know what I mean? You gotta remember, oh, yeah, okay, we met at this mall, and, you know, maybe what I was doing or something. But, yeah, you can't end up changing up and say, oh, yeah, we were at a club and met or something. Cause we're gonna be like, you know, I'm saying, y' all met at a mall. See, even my kids, oh, my God, they have asked before. My son has asked. And, you know, we kind of look at each other and, yeah, Mommy and Daddy met at the mall.

[Maggie]

So I'm trying to think.

[Phil]

Now, the telltale signs. When I meet a couple and ask them how they met, I want to see the signs of whether they're lying to me or not. Is that when they look at each other a lot, trying to, you know, get their stories straight.

[Tracy]

Probably.

[Caller 1]

I think we do a lot of eye contact and probably even a smirk towards each other.

[George]

Or if you hear the line, oh, the details are too boring. You don't want to hear them.

[Phil]

That means that they can't remember it.

[George]

Like you met on a chat line in the middle of the damn night. Good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hello.

[Caller 1]

Good morning.

[George]

Good morning. You're on the Voice Disguiser also.

[Caller 1]

Okay, My situation is just a little. A little funky. I was a stripper, and no one, none of my friends, my parents didn't know anything about it. I was doing it on the weekends, paying for school. And I met a guy while I was working, and we've been dating for about a year now. And I told all my friends and my parents that we met at the bookstore.

[George]

The bookstore. Now I am really curious. So you're stripping this guy?

[Caller 1]

He's tipping very well. He's coming in, he's buying drinks. I'm not an alcoholic. He's tipping. He hung around when the club was over and I'm packing up and I'm paying the house mom and my bar fee and things of that nature. And he hung around. He hung around. We exchanged phone numbers, and he gave me the simple line of, I respect you for what you're doing. You're paying yourself in school, and this, that, and the other. And I fell for it. And we've been dating for a year now.

[Phil]

So it works because you've just encouraged all guys at the strip clubs that night. She's in love with me. If I just hang around.

[Caller 1]

Necessarily. I think. I think he was a genuinely sincere person. I think he was a genuinely sincere person. We still go to strip clubs. I don't dance anymore, but we still go to strip clubs. And I, you know, I. I've got, you know, my trust in him. It's not 100%. It's 99.9%, but never put anything past a man. So, you know, if he picks me up, I'm sure he'll pick other women up. But I'm good. I mean, one good year. The only glitch is he says that we met at Borders and I say that we met at Barnes and Noble.

[George]

Gotta get on the same page.

[Caller 1]

People catch on to that, but it's all good.

[George]

Thank you for calling. We had one call that dropped out. They met at a mental institution. Oh, no. And they tell people that they met at Piedmont Park.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, you gotta Lie about that.

[Ryan]

Could be close. I mean, same difference, right?

[Tracy]

There are parts of Piedmont park that'll make you, you know, think it's immensely. I think I had to finish that where I was going.

[George]

Hey, Shelly.

[Ryan]

Hello.

[Jen]

What's up?

[Tracy]

Is there still voices?

[Jen]

Guys.

[George]

You don't need to be on the Voice.

[Caller 2]

My husband came in to play pool and I looked at his butt and his Levi's and I said, I'm gonna marry that man. So I took him home, I used him, I abused him. I sent him home with my phone number, but then I got my number changed, like, two days later. So then he came back into the club, and maybe about five months later, I was up on stage. And we've been together ever since.

[George]

Is that right? And what's the story you tell everybody?

[Caller 2]

We just met in a club.

[George]

Just in a club? Yeah, a dance club.

[Phil]

That's when you have the conversation. Okay, we're not really lying if we say a club.

[Maggie]

Right.

[Tracy]

It's very broad.

[Ryan]

Right.

[George]

And I was dancing.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tracy]

Like, there's a book in it. That's why we say bookstore. There's a phone book right in the room.

[Phil]

So we're not lying.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Tracy]

And you could buy it. I mean, you could buy anything there. So we're in a bookstore now.

[George]

Jen, you said you and Ryan have one of these?

[Ryan]

Yeah. One of the first things he ever said to me, aside from, hi, what's your name, is really embarrassing. So oftentimes, like with parents and, you know, friends that you're really trying to impress, you like, leave out this line. But he goes, you want a shot of Jaeger? That was like, one of the first things he ever said to me. And I knew I was smitten from there on out.

[George]

And this is like a great case right here of if you're good looking, you can get away with saying anything. And all of a sudden it becomes a great line.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of an embarrassing line, but it.

[Phil]

Gotcha. It worked.

[George]

We'll need the voice disguiser for this one.

[Tracy]

Good morning.

[George]

We'll call you. Sandy, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Jen]

Hello.

[Caller 1]

Hello. How are you?

[George]

Good, thank you.

[Caller 1]

Hopefully, I am on the voice disguiser too. Well, you are. Well, this is a pretty crazy story. I was married at the time, and my husband and I were pretty wild. We were at a swing club and we ran into a girl that we had known for a while, and she was with her new boyfriend and just really great guy. For some reason, I was just drawn to him and wanting to talk to him. And I even said to her, wow, this is your new boyfriend? I really like him a lot more than your last boyfriend. He's a great guy. And I just, you know, hung out with them a lot. We hung out with them. Talk, just talking. But this person always stood out in my mind. I mean, I thought about him a lot. My husband and I ended up having some problems. We ended up getting going through a separation and we're now divorced. But when I was ready to start dating again, I went on match.com and one of the first people, the first person I met was him. However, I didn't realize it because it had been a while. It had been like a year since I had seen him. And after our first conversation, he called me and said, I think we know each other. And it turns out it was him.

[George]

So you met at the swingers club. And what do you tell people?

[Caller 1]

What do we tell people? We just tell people that we met at a mutual. At a party of a mutual friend.

[George]

So there's a thin line there.

[Phil]

We're not really lying. That line always comes up when you're plotting what you're gonna. Well, but we're not really lying.

[Tracy]

Party with friends.

[George]

Yeah, it's not an out and out lie. We didn't meet at a party. It was just a version of the truth. It was just a party where everybody has sex with everybody else whether it was a party.

[Phil]

Leave that out.

[George]

Yeah, I'll leave that out. The Birch Show.

[Jen]

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[Ryan]

County and the city of Duluth for.

[George]

All of their efforts. Jennifer Wilbanks in court yesterday.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah, she is. The first time she apologized. I mean, what we just heard was the first time she's ever come out publicly and said she was sorry. And she pleaded no contest, of course, that felony charge, making false statements to police. And so what she was sentenced with was 2 years probation, 120 hours of community service. And she also has to pay Gwinnett county about $2,500 in restitution on top of the over $13,000 she already has to pay the city of Duluth. So no jail time for Wilbanks.

[George]

So I'm watching her show up at the courthouse yesterday, and I can't help but notice that she's got that big old rock still on her finger.

[Tracy]

God.

[George]

So this thing has only been postponed. It has not been called off. And if you saw any of the footage yesterday, as Jennifer Wilbanks is walking out of the courthouse, there are like 40 guys with cameras, news dudes in her face screaming out questions, you know, and there's her fiance, John. I'm a fool. I forget his last name.

[Tracy]

John, dumbass. John, I think it's pronounced Dumas Dume. No, it's dumbass.

[George]

It's Dumay, man. It's Dume. So there he is. And they're shouting. These. These press people are shouting out, is the wedding still on? Is the wedding still on? Now, he wouldn't confirm or deny it yesterday, but weeks ago, he said he was sticking by his woman.

[Tracy]

Are you still an idiot?

[George]

Are you still an idiot?

[Phil]

They were holding hands, walking out of the courtroom. And it's funny even like when you hear TV news cover this today, I heard one reporter talk about. And she was twirling her engagement ring, and she heard the sentence come down from the judge. I mean, everybody was taking pictures of her within that engagement ring.

[George]

So I want to take the angle of his friends for just a second. I want you guys to put yourself in the position of his friends, okay? Because all of his friends at one point or another now are going, I can't believe this dude is taking her back.

[Phil]

Mm.

[George]

There is no way. I mean, what else could she do to prove to you, dude, that you shouldn't be marrying her? So what I want to ask you guys listening is I can't believe she or he took him or her back after Blank. So, like, maybe you have a friend that was in this relationship with a guy or a woman, and they did something so bad that you were for sure, like, this relationship can't go on, right? And she or he ended up taking her back. Because in this case, his friends must have said to him a million times, dude, you know what's gonna happen here? What are you doing? You can't take her back. And he's holding steady. He's like, oh, you know what? You don't know the Jennifer Wilbanks that I know. This is a good woman. So answer this question. I can't believe she took him back after Blank. Now, what were you gonna say?

[Phil]

No, I'm trying to think of. I'm trying to think of stories because I know that I've got. I mean, there's so many of these out there.

[George]

I've been in this position. I've been that guy. Like I told you about that party I'm having. I'm living in Maryland. I'm party. My girlfriend is there, Chandra. Crazy bitch. And I'm sitting there, I'm talking to some girl at my own party, and I'm hammered. It's 12:31 o'. Clock. And I see out of the corner of my eye, Chandra literally sprint down a flight of stairs, runs across the Room and cold cocks me in front of all my friends. My knees buckle, but I'm not going down. I just got hit by a woman. And so, I mean, it turns into like this stupid white trash brawl where I like tackle her on the stairs. I got my hands around her neck. It's just drama, you know? And the next day, what do I do? We've got a vacation planned to the Outer Banks. I get in the car, she gets in the car, and we leave for the Outer Banks together, go on vacation. After that, we go on vacation. And all my friends, I'm sure, are like, I can't believe he took her back. After that, she just punched him in front of all his boys. What are you doing?

[Ryan]

Can you imagine what this guy John Dumbass would have to say to me. Sorry. To his friends to be a groomsman in that wedding? I don't know how, like, can you imagine being like, dude, you gotta go get fitted for your tux. Cause I'm gonna marry her this weekend. And they'd be like, you're gonna what?

[George]

I have to what?

[Ryan]

Participate in this?

[Tracy]

You have to talk him. Like, I mean, I think, you know who would be a better interview than John Dumas? Dumas is Dumbass. His best man, Peter Fredded Dumbass. And like, it's Freddie Dumay. It's like that guy. Cause that guy, it's his job. If you are John Mason's best friend, then you should cut off your genitals with a dull butter knife because you're not doing your job as a man. You need to tell him and his born again virgin ass that he is no business marrying fake boobs. Scared of flash crazy eyes girl.

[George]

Hey, Bryce here on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller 1]

Hey, how are you?

[George]

Hey, man, you can't believe he or she took her or him back after.

[Caller 1]

My friend Sam girlfriend in high school stabbed him in his throat with a pair of scissors.

[Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Caller 1]

He was cheating on her and he took her back and they got married.

[Ryan]

No.

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[George]

He got stabbed in the neck by her with a pair of scissors.

[Jen]

Yep.

[George]

And he still married her.

[Phil]

Let me ask a question. Did. Did his tux. Did the collar cover the scar in his neck from her, you know, her stabbing?

[Caller 1]

A little bit.

[Ryan]

Oh my gosh.

[George]

404741 1005. Now, did you ever at one point or another say, dude, what is up?

[Caller 3]

Oh, we were saying that for years.

[Caller 1]

Cause she was acting crazy all the time. But when the scissors accident happened, we was like, yo, come on now.

[George]

When you're Dating. You're in your courting period. It never gets any better than that. So if she's stabbing you in the neck during the courting period, what is she gonna do five years into the relationship?

[Caller 1]

Exactly.

[Caller 3]

She's sitting in the kitchen with a.

[Caller 1]

Gun the next time.

[George]

Serious?

[Ryan]

Are they still married?

[Jen]

Yep.

[George]

How many years?

[Caller 1]

About 12 now.

[George]

12 years. Oh, my God.

[Ryan]

Does he call it like his wound of love when people ask him about it on his neck or what does he.

[Tracy]

Dude, do you have a tracheotomy?

[Caller 1]

No, I'm trying not to talk about it, but when he's around us, we know. We look at him funny and he just says, leave me alone, dude.

[George]

How depressing is this? If you're listening to this and you were married four years and you got divorced and you're listening to this story, and you're like, I can't believe the couple that got stabbed in the neck before they got engaged has lasted longer than we did. Crystal, good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller 2]

Yes. I have a best friend who. Her boyfriend beat her up three times, and they just decided to. He asked her to move to Texas. So she is up and packing our stuff. Moving to Texas and maybe getting married in a month.

[George]

Are you kidding? He beat her up three times. She's still in the relationship and gonna get married to this guy?

[Caller 1]

Yep.

[George]

Unreal. Unreal.

[Ryan]

Feels so sad.

[George]

Can't have fun with that one. But we can have fun with the scissors in the neck.

[Phil]

I know. What's the difference? But, yeah, I don't know.

[Tracy]

Any injury to the throat is funny.

[George]

And it happened to a guy.

[Phil]

Yeah. What happens to a guy, it's not as.

[Tracy]

I don't know, if something happens to your larynx, your.

[George]

But if.

[Phil]

If the guy. If the guy stepped, the girl would be as funny.

[Tracy]

Is it thorax in your neck or is that the center part of an ant?

[Phil]

Isn't that a Dr. Seuss thing?

[Tracy]

No, that's the lower Lorax.

[Phil]

Okay.

[George]

Hey, Steve. Steve.

[Caller 3]

Yo. What's going on, man?

[George]

Hey, man. I can't believe he or she took her or him back after.

[Ryan]

What?

[Caller 3]

I was the one who got taken back and back. When I was Dan Mac's girlfriend, we were about two years into the relationship and we went on this big, huge family camping trip, and I slept with her mom.

[Ryan]

Oh, dude, no, you did not. And she took you back.

[Caller 3]

She took me back.

[Ryan]

For how long?

[Caller 3]

We ended up dating for, like, another year.

[George]

Are you kidding me?

[Caller 1]

No.

[Ryan]

Did she take you to any more family? Functions after that.

[Caller 3]

Well, I mean, you know, this is the usual, like birthdays and stuff like that.

[Phil]

But how did you talk her into coming back?

[Caller 3]

You know, I mean, when she found out, it was one of the situations where I was just kind of realistic about it, and I said, hey, if it ends, it ends. And that's my own stupid fault for doing it. But she was like, no, we're gonna stick this out. And I'm like, all right, whatever.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[George]

See, that was her cool joke to you right there. I'm gonna make your life freaking miserable for the next year, you son of a.

[Tracy]

So when you go get around her mom and stuff like that, like, do you hug hello or you French kids.

[Ryan]

Like, you feel her up every time you.

[Caller 3]

It was awkward for a good long time, I'll tell you that.

[George]

Yeah, no doubt, dude.

[Tracy]

And when it's happening, like when you're actually with her mom in your mind, are you like, I'm going up my girlfriend's mom's shirt.

[Caller 1]

I'm going up my girlfriend's mom's shirt.

[Tracy]

I'm up my girlfriend's mom's shirt.

[Caller 3]

Her mom's really attractive. So I didn't feel too bad about it when it was happening.

[George]

When you pull off something like that and she takes you back, you must feel like, I can do anything I want in this relationship and she's not going anywhere. Yeah.

[Caller 3]

I mean, you get that mindset. So, I mean, I actually.

[Caller 1]

I felt bad.

[Caller 3]

I felt like. I mean, I felt really bad for a long time.

[Ryan]

But you know what? You know who's gonna famous and gonna do this? Kevin Federline.

[Jen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

He is gonna sleep with Britney's mom.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[George]

And she'll take him back.

[Phil]

Her little sister.

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Ew.

[George]

You're right.

[Tracy]

What's her name?

[Phil]

Jamie Lynn.

[Tracy]

Ew.

[George]

Anyone named Jamie Lynn's gonna. Is gonna get in on some drama.

[Tracy]

Why do you have to say it with an accent?

[Ryan]

Because that's how they say it. They're from Louisiana.

[George]

Good morning, Erica.

[Tracy]

Hello.

[Caller 2]

Hi.

[Ad Announcer]

Hey.

[Caller 2]

I had a good friend of mine who's been with the guy for nine years, and actually she had a baby by another guy. They're gonna get married.

[George]

She had a baby by another guy.

[Caller 2]

Another guy. And they've been together for nine years, and he stayed with her, and they're.

[Phil]

Getting married this year, and he's gonna raise that kid.

[Caller 1]

Yep.

[George]

That's just a constant reminder. That boy's name is gonna be Middle Finger. Hey, Stacy. Stacey.

[Caller 1]

Hi.

[Caller 2]

Good morning, Bertrand.

[Caller 1]

I love the show. Thank you.

[George]

Thank you. Hi.

[Caller 2]

I just had to make a comment. The guy that I'm actually dating right now, his ex fiance cheated on him with his best friend. He got shot in the neck from his best friend and he still took his ex fiance back.

[George]

Good God.

[Phil]

Oh, my God. Another neck injury.

[Caller 1]

He got shot in the neck.

[Caller 2]

Another neck injury.

[Phil]

What?

[Caller 2]

And he still took her back. They were together for at least two years after it happened, and then they finally broke up after he cheated on her. So then she finally decided to leave him at that point.

[Ryan]

And you hate her, don't you?

[Caller 2]

I have to suffer for it now. That's the bad part.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, you hate her. Oh, you hate her.

[George]

What is it with the neck, though? I mean, if you're cheating in your relationship, walk in the door with a neck brace on. Because if she finds out, that's exactly where she's going.

[Phil]

Obviously.

[George]

Jugular, scissors or a gun, something. This dude's still taking Jennifer Wilbanks back. He hasn't said that the wedding's not gonna happen.

[Tracy]

He just better watch his neck.

[George]

He's like.

[Ryan]

Scissors to the hair are a lot better than the scissors to the neck.

[George]

The Burt Show.

[Jen]

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