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Burt (Host)
Josh has supplied me the audio from Chili's reality TV show with Dolvet. I haven't heard the whole thing yet.
Erin (Intern)
Oh, I haven't watched it yet.
Jen (Co-host)
I went to a luncheon yesterday and he was the topic of conversation at one of the tables. Apparently one of the women at the table is friends of Chili.
Burt (Host)
Oh really?
Listener/Caller
Oh boy.
Burt (Host)
For those of you that don't know, I have a friend, Olvette, who was on this reality TV show with Chilli this week. What is it when a date with Chilli or Chilli wants everything? What Chilli wants, what Chili wants or something. And Dolvett was one of the first to go on a date with her and I think he got beat up pretty badly. I haven't seen it yet, but I keep getting tweets and I keep getting texts about it cause I guess they're showing it over and over and over again and I feel the need to stick up for my friend, but I haven't heard any of it.
Heather (Co-host)
He's just Dolvett.
Burt (Host)
Yeah, but is it a bad version of Dolvett or is it.
Heather (Co-host)
It's Dolvett.
Burt (Host)
If you know him, tell me, Jen, what do you want to say? I can see Jen's faces.
Jen (Co-host)
No, I haven't seen it yet or heard it. I just heard the conversation yesterday about how like. And the only part of the conversation yesterday was that he walked into that Thing thinking that he was gonna be, you know, Mr. Big Time and that his looks would get him through the whole thing. And that Chili saw through that right away.
Burt (Host)
She chopped him down right away. Here's the first clip that he gave me. This is Dolvett, pre interview during a Braves game. So I guess they bring a woman in. Maybe it's a good friend of Chili's that sort of does a pre screening. The matchmaker. The matchmaker.
Heather (Co-host)
Dating woman.
Burt (Host)
And she sets Dolvett up with Chilli. She thinks that they're a pretty good match. And they set a Braves game and a suite.
Listener/Caller
Dolvette was fine. Honey, what do you know about Chilli?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
I know she's a mom. I know she used to date Usher.
Listener/Caller
She used to date Usher. Does that intimidate you?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
No.
Listener/Caller
So what do you do for a living?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
I own a personal training studio.
Listener/Caller
Okay. Can I see your stomach? Cause I have to make sure that it's nice.
Jen (Co-host)
The music, of course it works.
Heather (Co-host)
Do you think he was nervous lifting up his shirt right there in front of everybody?
Burt (Host)
I think so. That's such an odd thing for him to do. Right. Okay, so nothing there really to be concerned with. Then he meets Chilli for the first time.
Listener/Caller
Dovette, this is Chilli. Chilli, this is Dovette. I just gave him a pre interview. So what do you think?
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
She kind of presented him to me like some meat on a platter.
Listener/Caller
Dolvett, you popular?
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
I mean, don't get me wrong. Dolvett is not bad looking. He just wasn't quite my type.
Listener/Caller
What would Jesus do? You know what Jesus would do?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Jesus would go talk to Chili.
Listener/Caller
All right?
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
He had this little suave thing about him. Like, hi, I'm Dolvette.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Nice to meet you all.
Show Announcer
Take care.
Listener/Caller
Bye.
Show Announcer
Bye.
Burt (Host)
Okay. And he. I mean, we can all agree that Dolvett has a Dolvette swagger.
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah.
Heather (Co-host)
He wears sunglasses into the studio at 7:30 in the morning.
Burt (Host)
Over the top, too. Over the top, for sure. All right, next clip. I guess Chili's being convinced to give Dolvett a try because she's not feeling them, not vibing on him.
Listener/Caller
Dolvet, why did you like.
Burt (Host)
I'm playing these clips because I'm trying to figure out, like, what. I've been getting a lot of negative tweets and. And. And text. So I'm just trying to figure out what happened on this show.
Listener/Caller
Right.
Burt (Host)
And so far, okay, I'm not hearing anything that's too bad yet.
Heather (Co-host)
They haven't gone on their date yet?
Listener/Caller
Go back. Why did you make that face just look wise?
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
He's just not for me.
Listener/Caller
Besides the looks, he has everything on your checklist. He has his own training studio. Jezebel magazine rated him the number one bachelor in Atlanta. He's the bomb.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
It's just something I pick up. I don't know. Like, I wouldn't enjoy that date.
Listener/Caller
I just think you can't, you know, judge people off of just one look.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Okay, I'm sold. All right, I will do it.
Burt (Host)
All right, so they go out on a date, and they go to Stone Mountain together.
Jen (Co-host)
She twists her arm to do it. Okay, I'm going to go.
Burt (Host)
She's not into it from the start.
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah, she didn't even want to.
Burt (Host)
Yeah, she's already met him. Not her type. She knows it, but she's going on this date anyway.
Erin (Intern)
Okay.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Tell me something about you.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Tell me about you. Do you have any kids?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
I do. I have a son.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
You do? How old is your boy?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
13.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Oh, he lives here?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
No, he lives in Virginia.
Listener/Caller
Okay.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Do you talk to him every day?
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
No, not every day.
Listener/Caller
Uh.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Oh, I wish I could say every day, but I can't.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
All right, to me, you should talk to your kid every day. There's no reason for one day to go by that you don't talk to your kid. So that was a turn off for me. I didn't like that.
Burt (Host)
Okay, so there's the source of some of the. The texts I got right there that he's not talking to his child. There he go.
Jen (Co-host)
What were the texts saying to you?
Burt (Host)
Let me try to rephrase them. Dolvett has a kid. All in capital letters.
Erin (Intern)
Well, that's our reaction when we first started talking about being here today.
Heather (Co-host)
That is kind of a. Oh, let me see if I still have him.
Erin (Intern)
Yeah, we did. We didn't know.
Burt (Host)
Nobody in here knew. I mean, I've known him for years, but, yeah, he didn't talk all that much about him, and he doesn't talk about him every day, and that turned Chili off. And to be totally honest with you, I mean, even if Dolvett was in here, if I was dating a woman and she said she didn't talk to her kid every day.
Listener/Caller
Yeah.
Erin (Intern)
No, I think I understand why she's turned off.
Heather (Co-host)
Do you think if some.
Jen (Co-host)
I think. I mean, I think you also have to hear more of the story. You know, you don't know what it's like with the ex, if she's made it really difficult for him. To see, you know, we're like instantly judging the situation, but you don't know what it is. I mean, you'd hope that he would still want to talk to his kid every day, but you don't know if the ex has made it that situation or if it's because of where his priorities are.
Burt (Host)
And that's a great point.
Erin (Intern)
He talks about it, about his kid. You know, the ex has nothing to do with the fact of you talking about your child.
Burt (Host)
And that's a great point about reality TV shows also, is they're going to show you that one side. But Jen's right. We really don't know what's going on on the other side. Maybe he wants to.
Listener/Caller
Mm.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Maybe we should get up here and race you to the top.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
See, I can tell, you know, you're a show off. I can sing this. Yeah, you show off. Try to show off. Like, you know, showing off all your muscles.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
You gotta work out with me sometime, man. I want you to come to the studio and kind of see what I do.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
There's the voice. Got the 1900 voice. Yes, you do. I'm saying, you know how to turn it on. Turn it off.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
What are you talking.
Burt (Host)
Turn what off? What are you talking about?
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
I think he looks in the mirror and he's like, dolvette, you are bad as hell.
Burt (Host)
That's what you do.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Yeah.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
You say it's all about image.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Yeah.
Burt (Host)
Mm.
Listener/Caller
I know.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
I told Teona I'd give Dolvette a chance, but so far I'm not saying anything that would change my first impression of him.
Listener/Caller
Hmm.
Jen (Co-host)
It's all sound effects in here.
Burt (Host)
He's just not a type. And I want to. And I want to say, Dolph, that's not the kind of guy that would. That thinks he's badass, but I can't do that.
Heather (Co-host)
Like, all that. Like, you're like, oh, well, you know, they edit. You know, do what's thing to you is how they edit it. But, like, we all have known Dolvett for, you know, years.
Erin (Intern)
Five.
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah.
Heather (Co-host)
And he is. He is the most charming person that I know. Like, he has that. That charm. But sometimes it doesn't work on everybody. And I think when it doesn't work, it just.
Burt (Host)
You crash and burn.
Heather (Co-host)
It just really goes.
Erin (Intern)
It really doesn't work.
Heather (Co-host)
Yeah, it really doesn't.
Burt (Host)
It's not a gentle landing.
McDonald's Advertiser
No.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Just because you can check off a bunch of things on my checklist does not mean it's the right guy for me. Sometimes you just Know when it's the wrong guy. And Dolvett was the wrong guy. He was egotistical. And that is a turn off for me. You know, I think I should add that to my list. No egos. I did not enjoy that. I didn't enjoy one moment of that.
Listener/Caller
Damn.
Burt (Host)
What do you think she was trying to say there at the very end?
Jen (Co-host)
You know, women just speak so cryptically. They don't really say what they really want.
Burt (Host)
Cause if I'm Dolvet, I'm hearing, I think I got a. I think I got a chance. Door's still open. Hey, Kim. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Listener/Caller
Good morning.
Burt (Host)
Hey, how are you?
Listener/Caller
I'm good. How are you doing?
Burt (Host)
Okay. That's the first time I've actually had a chance to listen to those things.
Listener/Caller
So you. You have to watch the episode, Bert. I can't believe you haven't watched the episode. It's online. You don't have to wait for it to come on tv.
Burt (Host)
It's painful, though.
Jen (Co-host)
What kind of friend are you?
Burt (Host)
You're dead.
Erin (Intern)
You're a deadbeat friend.
Burt (Host)
I'm a good friend because I knew it didn't turn out well, and I didn't want to watch it. I didn't want to see it.
Listener/Caller
It's really not that bad. It really isn't hurtful to Dolvet that much. I mean, she. Tilly just jumps down his throat, and there's really nothing much she could have done. She could have been the most charming person in the world. She had a guard up from the get go.
Burt (Host)
I told her this when she was in the studio with us a couple of weeks ago. I just don't buy the whole premise of the show at all. Because when Chilli's in here, she's the cutest little thing. And she's charming in her own right also. And for you to come on in here and tell me that you're having a tough time finding a date in this country when you're still traveling and touring and doing all your things, I just don't buy it.
Heather (Co-host)
Then that's what Dovette should have done. He should have. He should have flipped it around on her. Like when she said, oh, there's the voice, he goes, oh, there's the voice.
Burt (Host)
Everything she said, he says, right?
Heather (Co-host)
I didn't like him because he was egotistical. I didn't like her because she was egotistical. Now, just out of curiosity, how I. I would say Dovette owes you at least six months of free training for covering this at 5:50 in the morning rather than 8:15.
Burt (Host)
I was so eager to listen to him this morning that I don't think I could have waited.
Show Announcer
The Birch Show.
McDonald's Advertiser
All new drinks are now at McDonald's
with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam.
Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.
Burt (Host)
Refreshers contain caffeine.
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McDonald's Advertiser
All new drinks are now at McDonald's
with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam.
Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.
Burt (Host)
Refreshers contain caffeine.
Show Announcer
The Bird Show.
Burt (Host)
Okay, so can intern Aaron hear us now? No, she cannot. Okay, cool. Oh, today's the day. Today's the day.
Erin (Intern)
Oh,
Listener/Caller
I love this.
Burt (Host)
Every now and then when we get a new intern.
Jen (Co-host)
I hate this.
Burt (Host)
Every now and then when we get a new Internet, I like to jack with them. First or second day. The first one we did was flawless.
Heather (Co-host)
Yeah, it was Intern Yancy. And we recruited Joanna to help us. And we told Yancy that he was required every single day to go into Burt's office after the show and give Burt positive affirmations about the show that we just did and encourage Burt to put on as good of a show the next day. So we got Joanna to say, come on, I'm gonna go do the affirmations, and I'm gonna show you how to do it. And so they would go in the studio or go into Bert's office, and we recorded it and talk about how well Bert was dressed that day, how funny he was, how the show just. How the show just flowed, how the momentum was really compelling. The management of the callers was fantastic. And eventually he had to do it on his own. And he did a good job.
Burt (Host)
He did a very good job. But he was such a kiss ass. But he did it so good. But then, you know, we told him, dude, we were just joking with you. So we've got a new intern here, our intern Erin, who seems like the sweetest, most. The quietest little thing.
Listener/Caller
She is.
Burt (Host)
Is she just a sweetheart?
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah, she does seem really sweet. I hate this.
Burt (Host)
Jen is very protective of the interns. Cause this is her department right here.
Heather (Co-host)
Now, Erin is the short girl from Uruguay.
Burt (Host)
No, that's Joanna.
Erin (Intern)
Well, at least she got the country.
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah, that's the first time she ever got the country.
Burt (Host)
The phone screener, that's Joanna.
Erin (Intern)
Yeah.
Listener/Caller
Okay.
Burt (Host)
No, this is a different girl.
Heather (Co-host)
Aaron's the one who married Scott and had a baby. Ella.
Burt (Host)
Different girl. That's Tracy.
Heather (Co-host)
Entertainment buzz girl.
Burt (Host)
So Erin is here. It's her second day here, and she said probably, I don't know, six words in the two days that she's been here. Shy little thing, just trying to kind of melt into the wall. So what we're gonna do next, and we can't talk about it after right now is Melissa's newscast is up next. Melissa's not gonna come back in studio for the newscast. So what you won't be able to hear is me off the air telling Aaron, look, no, nobody can do this. Just go ahead, start reading news. I'm gonna hit the bed. We won't even address it. Just go ahead and start reading news.
Jen (Co-host)
And I'm gonna have to leave. Well, the thing is, I'll make it.
Erin (Intern)
And normally in my newscast I can just grab, you know, grab papers and make notes and everything, But I've actually scripted it out so it's.
Heather (Co-host)
She has something to read.
Listener/Caller
She has?
Erin (Intern)
Yes. I mean, it's doable for her, so
Burt (Host)
she should be able to read it and get through the newscast.
Erin (Intern)
So I've age stories on a different page and it's. And it's all spaced out and so I would feel better about this if
Burt (Host)
it was a guy in turn hon.
Heather (Co-host)
Oh, sexist jerk.
Burt (Host)
Yeah, Brandon,
Jen (Co-host)
because guys can hand.
Burt (Host)
Come on, Wendy, that's nothing. That is sexist. Why? Last time it was Yancey dude, okay? He tried to. Come on, let's be honest.
Erin (Intern)
Guys can't do news. So anyway. No, I'm just kidding.
Burt (Host)
I'm trying to protect our allies.
Ben (Caller)
It just makes me wonder what joke
Burt (Host)
you guys are still playing on me. Nah, you're a veteran now. It's too late for you.
Heather (Co-host)
I think the advantage we have is because where, like, I think I will probably laugh. So I think what we do, it
Erin (Intern)
won't last long is what we say.
Heather (Co-host)
No, I think what we do is all of us are out of the studio, and then it's just Burt and Aaron. And then Burt, you have a little bit of panic and go, hey, nobody's back. Will you sit right there? And if I have to go to news, you do it. And then as soon as she starts news, we can all filter in one by one. But the premise is you're supposed.
Jen (Co-host)
Can you really do this?
Burt (Host)
She doesn't have any anxiety issues or anything like that, right?
Erin (Intern)
We'll find out.
Heather (Co-host)
We'll find out in ten minutes.
Burt (Host)
We're gonna find out in ten min.
Jen (Co-host)
College student.
Burt (Host)
Look, it's part of the intern program and you are here to learn. And part of this job is dealing with pressure. So we're gonna see how she deals with pressure. So when we come back, I'll hit the newsbed, but it won't be Melissa doing news. It will be our intern, Aaron, maybe.
Heather (Co-host)
Or it'll be the sound of a chair tipping over and someone. Footsteps running down the hall.
Erin (Intern)
Or it could be that Aaron comes in and, like, kills it. Kills it, kills it, kills it. And then I get let go.
Burt (Host)
So whatever.
Heather (Co-host)
That would be an unfortunate turn of events, wouldn't it?
Show Announcer
The bird show.
Burt (Host)
Okay, the stakes are now high on all or nothing trivia because we are adding another prize today. So here's what you got. You got tickets to John Mayer in concert at Aaron's Amphitheater. We're gonna hook you up with those. Also, a 60 minute massage at the Intercontinental Buckhead. We're giving you $50 to spend at Fido. Tickets to Lady Annabellum on May 15th at Aaron's. And today we add a facial from Soothe Massage studios. Five great prizes. All right, you got to call up with all five names. These guys are known to be the most well endowed celebrities. Tell us which five they are. If you don't get all five, we'll tell you how many you got right, but we won't tell you which ones. We should be pretty close today.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Yeah.
Erin (Intern)
The last caller, our last listener yesterday guessed four out of the five.
Burt (Host)
Julie, good morning.
Listener/Caller
Hello, Hello.
Burt (Host)
Good morning.
Erin (Intern)
Hello.
Burt (Host)
You are the first on all or nothing trivia.
Listener/Caller
All right, so I know that I have several of them, but I'm not sure about my last one. Okay, okay, okay. I've got Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Jamie Kennedy, and I mean, I'm going to go with David Letterman, but it was either a toss up between him or one other one.
Burt (Host)
Okay, you don't have to make excuses. You got three, right?
Listener/Caller
Three? Only three?
Burt (Host)
Yeah, only three.
Listener/Caller
Oh, I thought I had more than that. Okay.
Burt (Host)
No, you don't.
Heather (Co-host)
Nope.
Burt (Host)
All right, bye.
Listener/Caller
Bye.
Heather (Co-host)
Okay.
Burt (Host)
It's a major clue right there, though.
Erin (Intern)
That's right.
Burt (Host)
If you were listening yesterday, then you know which one. Major clue.
Heather (Co-host)
Major.
Burt (Host)
Lisa, good morning. You are part of the Burt Show.
Listener/Caller
Hi. Good morning. Bircho.
Burt (Host)
Good morning, Lisa. How are you?
Jen (Co-host)
Where's she from?
Listener/Caller
I'm very good.
Burt (Host)
Philippines.
Jen (Co-host)
Philippines?
Burt (Host)
Yeah. Lisa, you are on all or nothing trivia. You have to give us five names of the most well endowed dudes in Hollywood.
Listener/Caller
Yes.
Burt (Host)
Okay, who are they?
Listener/Caller
Matthew McElano. He, Ashton Kushner, Michael Jordan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Jamie Foxx.
Burt (Host)
Okay, you got three right?
Listener/Caller
No.
Burt (Host)
Yes, three rights.
Listener/Caller
Okay.
Burt (Host)
Okay, thank you.
Listener/Caller
You're welcome back.
Erin (Intern)
People are forgetting that we know that
Burt (Host)
we're the southern part of the island chain, but the Philippines.
Jen (Co-host)
Okay, okay, good.
Heather (Co-host)
I'm glad you're not even confirming with people.
Erin (Intern)
I love how he whispers it so they don't hear it. Yeah, you just dispute it.
Heather (Co-host)
No more confirmation. Just a blatant declaration.
Burt (Host)
That one was so obvious. Even if you've never been to the
Erin (Intern)
Philippines, it would be insulting is what
Burt (Host)
you' for you new listeners, I have a gift. I can hear an accent and I can tell exactly where you're from. Good morning, Alicia. You're on Q1, you're on Q100. Hi, how are you?
Erin (Intern)
Good morning.
Listener/Caller
I'm good. How are you doing?
Burt (Host)
Great. I think today is the day we wrap up all or nothing trivia.
Ben (Caller)
Right.
Burt (Host)
And I think it's going to you.
Listener/Caller
Okay? I hope so.
Burt (Host)
All right, let's do it.
Listener/Caller
All right, I've got Jamie Fox, ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio, David Spade and Mark Wahlberg.
Burt (Host)
You got four correct. Okay, four correct. All right, good job. I'll take a couple more calls here and then we'll have to turn this over tomorrow. I thought for sure we were done today. Shaqueta.
Listener/Caller
Good morning, Burt Show.
Burt (Host)
Good morning. How are you?
Listener/Caller
I'm fine. How are you?
McDonald's Advertiser
Great.
Listener/Caller
I think I got him.
Burt (Host)
All right, if you've been listening every day, you're pretty close right now. Okay, what you got?
Listener/Caller
Okay. Jamie Foxx, Owen Wilson, ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio and David Spade.
Burt (Host)
You got four, right.
Listener/Caller
Okay.
Ben (Caller)
Damn.
Erin (Intern)
All right.
Burt (Host)
Okay, bye. Bye. Melanie, Good morning. Hey, let's do this. I want to give you all these prizes right now.
Listener/Caller
I hope you can give them to me.
Burt (Host)
Okay, Go.
Listener/Caller
Ashton kutcher, Jamie foxx, Leonardo dicaprio, Jamie Kennedy, and Tiger woods.
Burt (Host)
You got three. Dang, that's frustrating.
Heather (Co-host)
People are screaming at the radio right now.
Burt (Host)
Thank you for calling.
Listener/Caller
Sorry. Bye.
Burt (Host)
Remember, every incorrect guess gets you closer to the puzzle. Unless they've all been guests before, and then that doesn't do us any damn good at all.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Right?
Burt (Host)
All right. One more today. Christina, come on. Do this thing.
Listener/Caller
All right. I'm gonna try.
Burt (Host)
Here it is.
Jen (Co-host)
Here we are.
Listener/Caller
Deano dicaprio, David Fay, Jamie foxx, Woody Harrison, and Ashton kutcher.
Burt (Host)
You got four corrects.
Jen (Co-host)
Radio station.
Burt (Host)
All right, so we continue again tomorrow. All or nothing trivia.
Heather (Co-host)
Somebody in their car is so mad, they just punched their passenger for no reason.
Burt (Host)
The last one is a little random. I gotta tell you, we may be here a while. I'm trying to give a clue without giving a clue.
Jen (Co-host)
Somebody's got it.
Burt (Host)
Within the next 24 hours, I'll figure a clue. If we don't get it tomorrow, to say that might give it away. But it's sort of random. He's sort of random. Wouldn't be top of mind, probably.
Jen (Co-host)
Okay.
Burt (Host)
Okay. So we'll try it again tomorrow. All or nothing trivia. And we will add yet another prize.
Ben (Caller)
Hey.
Show Announcer
The birch show.
McDonald's Advertiser
All new drinks are now at McDonald's
with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher and the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the sprite berry blast with berry flavors and cold foam.
Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.
Burt (Host)
Refreshers contain caffeine.
Show Announcer
The bird show.
Burt (Host)
It's a little vague to say exactly what we're looking for here, but I think Melissa nailed it. You know, like, this might be your dude here.
Erin (Intern)
Okay. Yeah. People who just kind of have it figured out. I was at dinner with some friends the other night, and they were talking. The guy was talking about a bar he frequents, and there was a bartender there that works part time during the year and saves all his money up to travel the rest of the year. So we were like, this dude's got it figured out. Because every time he comes back and needs more money, he's got a job at the bar. I mean, it's not like he has to give two weeks notice and he never gets to come back to the company. And, I mean, It's a system that he. That everybody knows about. And so we're like, this dude's got it figured out.
Burt (Host)
So who's got to figure it out? Like, what are you doing in your life that you got it figured out? I mean, I think if you ask 80% of the population, I mean, 100% of the population, 80% would say that they're not happy. I mean, look at the self help industry.
Erin (Intern)
Yes.
Burt (Host)
I'm kidding. God.
Erin (Intern)
Right?
Burt (Host)
So most people aren't happy. So what makes you happy that you figured out that others haven't? Hey, Ben. Good morning.
Ben (Caller)
Good morning.
Burt (Host)
Hey, Ben, are you the traveling dude we're talking about?
Listener/Caller
I am the guy.
Burt (Host)
Okay, tell us about this.
Jen (Co-host)
How old are you?
Ben (Caller)
Well, I. I don't actually work at a bartender.
Erin (Intern)
Okay.
Ben (Caller)
Actually bartender. But my dad has his own business.
Erin (Intern)
Okay.
Ben (Caller)
So I work with him for, like, I don't know, six months. And then I just leave because he's. Because my dad. So he's like, oh, I see you go and take off. I'm like, yeah.
Burt (Host)
It's not Melissa saying that you're not.
Erin (Intern)
Yeah. The guy we were talking about is an actual bartender in midtown. So.
Listener/Caller
But I.
Erin (Intern)
But so you. You travel six months out of the year and then work for your dad for six months?
Ben (Caller)
Well, I sometimes travel for about two, three months. I work, come back. And the funny thing is that I grew up in the Middle east, though. I spent a lot of time over there, and I stay with friends and stuff for free, so I don't spend very much money at all. But I still save and. Cool.
Burt (Host)
And you're happy?
Ben (Caller)
I'm so happy. But I also, I think my ultimate happiness comes from I am a Christian, so it's kind of like that plays into the whole traveling and wanting to see the world which God created and stuff. So. Yeah.
McDonald's Advertiser
All right.
Burt (Host)
Thanks.
Erin (Intern)
Awesome.
Burt (Host)
Traveling Christians got it figured out.
Jen (Co-host)
Well, his dad's gonna.
Burt (Host)
Yeah, I didn't want to say that. It does feel different.
Jen (Co-host)
Like, it's different than daddy's when the bill. Yeah, that's a little Trustafarian for me. Trustafarian. You know, the kids that go to Colorado and they have dreads and they play hacky sack and smoke weed and they're figuring out the world. But it's really mommy and daddy that are paying the bills.
Heather (Co-host)
They got 4 million coming to them when they hit 21.
Burt (Host)
Right here is Heather. Heather, I want to be a trucker. You are happy and you are at peace.
Listener/Caller
Yes.
Burt (Host)
All right. What is the key to your life?
Listener/Caller
I Married my best friend.
Burt (Host)
Married your best friend. That's a great answer right there.
Heather (Co-host)
Aw, that's nice.
Burt (Host)
Okay, I don't think you need to talk anymore about that. Makes sense.
Erin (Intern)
I got it figured out.
Ben (Caller)
Married your best friend.
Jen (Co-host)
One of the crosses like that is Rob Thomas. When we talk to him, I always feel like that with him, that he's like happy and at peace because he married his best friend, you know.
Burt (Host)
Here's Dee. Good morning. You're on Q100.
Listener/Caller
Good morning.
Erin (Intern)
Hey.
Burt (Host)
Alright. The meaning to life, happiness for you is what?
Listener/Caller
For me it's like helping other people and like doing whatever I can. Like if my friends like need a ride, I give it to them. If they need me to like help them with homework, I do it. If like, I don't know, I feed homeless people every Tuesday. Just like helping other people gives me like this pure simple joy. Like nothing else can compare with it. It's awesome.
Burt (Host)
Jen, you can speak to that based on your weekend.
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah, over the weekend, doing that do justice event. It definitely, I think everybody in the room felt really good about giving, giving away their time and their energy.
Burt (Host)
404-741-Q100. Hey, Terry.
Listener/Caller
Hey. How are you?
Burt (Host)
Good. How are you?
Listener/Caller
Fine.
All right.
Burt (Host)
What do you know that the rest of the world doesn't?
Listener/Caller
Well, I know something that you find out what you would enjoy doing for a living. And it's not about the money, but what you like doing for a living. And it will never be a job. And there's something to that. If you enjoy what you do, it's not a job every day.
Jen (Co-host)
What do you do?
Listener/Caller
I'm a nurse at Christian City.
Burt (Host)
She said proudly, like a cheerleader for it.
Listener/Caller
I'm very proud of the company and I enjoy what I do and loving people and taking care of them and I get a lot back in return.
Jen (Co-host)
Also, I want you to be my nurse.
Burt (Host)
I know, I know, right? If you think about it like if you're miserable at work, that's at least eight hours out of your day. At least that's simple math here. That's one third of your life.
Jen (Co-host)
And for a lot of people with commutes, it's an hour getting there and
Heather (Co-host)
getting home to drive to your misery.
Listener/Caller
Yes.
Erin (Intern)
And people who dread like the morning of before they ever get in the car. So it's pretty much a 24 hour misery if you're in a job that you hate.
Burt (Host)
You know, I mean, think about it. How could it not affect the other 2/3 of your life, your sleep and your work and your life outside of work.
Erin (Intern)
Yeah. If you're crying over coffee before you go in, that might be an indication you hate your job.
Jen (Co-host)
I was that way before I came to Q100, the last job I had. I know I had a boss who hated me, and I hated him. And I would come home and cry every night because I hated him so much. He made my whole life miserable.
Burt (Host)
That is just totally rescue.
Jen (Co-host)
Yeah, you guys saved me.
Burt (Host)
To me, that is totally and completely unacceptable. Crying at work because of work. Because of work. Or somebody is yelling at you so much that you are crying or you are fearing going into work because that is miserable. Is crying totally and completely unacceptable.
Jen (Co-host)
I wonder if anybody just heard you say that, and they're like, I'm gonna quit right now. I'm gonna go in and quit my job.
Burt (Host)
I mean, no, boss.
Jen (Co-host)
Brandon, you're not allowed.
Burt (Host)
No boss. Should make the work atmosphere so bad for you that you're crying at work. Are you kidding me? I know it's tough out there to find another job right now. So people are like, I know. I'd like to find another job sacrificing
Erin (Intern)
until that, you know, the recession is over.
Burt (Host)
Miserable, man.
Erin (Intern)
That's ridiculous.
Heather (Co-host)
It's gonna be fun, right? At 10.
Burt (Host)
Hey, Victor. Good morning. You're on Q100.
Victor (Caller)
Good morning, guys. How are you?
Burt (Host)
Good. How are you, man?
Victor (Caller)
Good, thanks. Listen, I have the answer, and it's so easy. Anyone can do it. All right, what are you meeting new people that you've never met before and learning something new or just having a good laugh with a total stranger?
Erin (Intern)
Okay.
Jen (Co-host)
Okay.
Victor (Caller)
You know, I know a lot of people like to go out and get drunk and party, and I'm all about that, too, but, you know, when you're standing next to a total stranger and you just strike up conversation, you never know if you're gonna meet your next best friend and you go home thinking, wow, what a great laugh I had. And like, calling this morning, just getting through. I'm gonna go to work, and I'm gonna say, guess what happened to me this morning that makes my day.
Heather (Co-host)
I like that I get to talk to Jeff.
Victor (Caller)
You never know who you're gonna meet.
Burt (Host)
It really is attitude, isn't it?
Erin (Intern)
That's my key to happiness.
Listener/Caller
Yeah.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Yeah.
Victor (Caller)
You know, it doesn't matter. And I get the whole Kristen thing, but it's more than that. It's about people. With Twitter and Facebook and all that, people are really not connecting like they used to. And I think the art of communication is a lost art. Form now. And so when you get the chance to talk to someone new, just walk away and smile and say maybe you affected somebody's life that day.
Burt (Host)
That's a great call.
Heather (Co-host)
Now the pressure's on.
Burt (Host)
Great call, Victor.
Listener/Caller
Thank you.
Heather (Co-host)
Victor's like some people talk to God. I talk to the Bert show.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
That's cool.
Burt (Host)
Here's Crystal. Good morning, Crystal.
Listener/Caller
Hey. I was just calling.
My sister actually left a 70 plus
paying job to started her own dog walking business and she's happier than she's ever been.
Burt (Host)
Yeah, we talked about this quite a bit. I think over the last couple of months that people that were in these high paying jobs and were miserable but you have sort of the golden handcuffs on and because of the recession it's forced them into doing something else, something that they might have always thought about doing. And they're making way less money but they're finding that they can sleep at night and their quality of life is so different that the recession has actually been a godsend.
Erin (Intern)
Mm. Like your sister.
Jen (Co-host)
Amazing walking dogs.
Heather (Co-host)
Because I find the key to happiness is to just make my point and then never say anything.
Erin (Intern)
That's right.
Burt (Host)
Here is Kathleen. Kathleen.
Listener/Caller
Kathleen.
Burt (Host)
Hey, Kathleen.
Listener/Caller
Yes.
Erin (Intern)
Hi.
Listener/Caller
Hi. I just wanted to comment that last night I was putting my kids to bed and my 8 year old daughter said good night mom. And my 4 year old son said good night mama. And as I heard them say mom and mom, I realized that they don't refer to me as mommy anymore. And it was a bittersweet moment because I just thought, you know, they're growing up and for me, I mean I get emotional just thinking about it. They're, they're growing up and I've had, I have a hand in that and they're good children and I, you know, I'm proud of who they are and who they are becoming. And it just gave me last night before I went to bed. I just, I thank God for them in my life.
Burt (Host)
So these are the moments that married people, you know, like single people or when you get married how there's like this pressure from married people to have kids and it's really pretty annoying.
Listener/Caller
Yeah.
Burt (Host)
What Kathleen is feeling is what she, what she's feeling. She's trying to pass on to people that don't want to have kids that. Yeah, that, that you can't quite get until you see.
Listener/Caller
Right. Well, you know, my sister in law says there's two people in the world, there's parents and those who aren't. We know what it's like not to be A parent. We've all not been parents at one point in our life. And not to say we're better as parents, but. But until you have a child, you have no idea the fulfillment that they can give you. And it's not for everybody.
I get that.
But for me, that was.
It was.
It was a wonderful moment.
Heather (Co-host)
You have to tell us. Melissa's been telling us for like four weeks now.
Erin (Intern)
When my frozen embryos sit there and sparkle in the sunlight because of the eyes frozen around them. I know.
Burt (Host)
Well, just for a second.
Erin (Intern)
Just for a second. So they can sparkle like Edward on Trip Twilight. Then I know. Then I know the key to happiness.
Burt (Host)
I have two friends now. One that is fighting cancer and one that found out a couple of weeks ago the doctor said that he had cancer, and then weeks later found out that they were wrong and doesn't have cancer. And both of those people have said to me, both those instances have completely changed their life. And the one that is fighting the cancer and it's a really tough fight says it's the best thing that has ever happened to her. When you face death every single day, it totally changes the way you live. And she said to me, essentially, we're all doing that. I mean, we're all gonna die. I mean, she's just facing it every single day. So it makes her see the greens a little bit greener.
Erin (Intern)
Well, it makes her focus a little. A little more on the small moments. Because most people ignore my argument. Always with Katie is with the iPhone that's in her face all the time. It's like you were totally missing. Put it down. And there's things going on around you that you're totally missing. When you're distracting yourself, isn't there an
Burt (Host)
application that can tell you what you're missing?
Erin (Intern)
You know what? I bet there is.
Burt (Host)
Why don't we.
Heather (Co-host)
Just out of curiosity, how long is this positivity uplifting crap gonna go on?
Burt (Host)
I think you just ended it.
Show Announcer
Get it?
The Birch show this episode sponsored by Eureka Ergonomic. Why should your standing desk make your home feel like a fluorescent lit cubicle? You've worked hard to make your space feel warm, clean, and intentional, so your desk should fit right in. That's why Eureka Ergonomics stands out. Eureka Ergonomic creates standing desks, ergonomic chairs, and workspace furniture that look beautiful in your home and feel great to use every day. Choose from designs that blend into your home while giving you the height, adjustability, and support you need every day. With Eureka Ergonomic, you're not choosing between style and comfortable. You get both. Visit eureka ergonomic@eurekaergonomic.com that's E U R E K A ergonomic E R G O N O M I C dot com and find a standing desk that works hard without making your home feel like a cubicle.
McDonald's Advertiser
All new drinks are now at McDonald's
with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher and the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam.
Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.
Burt (Host)
Refreshers contain caffeine.
Show Announcer
You're on the Birch show, and we're
Burt (Host)
about to go on in about 30 seconds. I'm going to need you. I'm gonna need you to clutch up here. Will you? Have you ever read news before?
Aaron (Intern)
No.
Burt (Host)
You've never tried it? All right, I'm gonna ask you to in, like 30 seconds. Can you see that right there? That's Melissa's newscast right there.
Listener/Caller
Huh?
Burt (Host)
When we come out of this, I'm gonna ask you to do a newscast.
Aaron (Intern)
Okay?
Burt (Host)
Can you do this?
Aaron (Intern)
Sure. Just reading this sheet of paper.
Burt (Host)
Yeah. Well, they're like five stories right there.
Listener/Caller
Okay.
Burt (Host)
Only got about 30 seconds to tell you this. They're like five stories right there. And I'll hit Melissa's news bed, and you just start reading the stories. Go one through the other.
Chilli (Reality Show Participant)
Okay.
Burt (Host)
And at the very end of it, you know, just say your name and say on all the hits, Q100.
Jen (Co-host)
Okay, sure.
Burt (Host)
Okay. You got about 15 seconds. You sure?
Aaron (Intern)
I'll do it. Make it work.
Burt (Host)
Can you hear anything yet?
Erin (Intern)
Mm.
Listener/Caller
Okay.
Okay.
Burt (Host)
Got about 10 seconds.
Show Announcer
The bird show.
Time spent in your car doesn't have to be boring. The Birchow Q100.
Burt (Host)
All right, give us a couple of minutes here, and Christina Aguilera will join us. She's gonna tell you about this sort of brewing feud between she, she, and Lady Gaga. And also, she feels like a sexier mom now than she did back in the day. So Christina Aguilera is coming up next.
Show Announcer
The Burke show on Q100. News is important. Here's Melissa Carter with the five things you need to know today. Q100.
Aaron (Intern)
The gray ash cloud from the Icelandic volcano that's paralyzed air travel in Europe is slowly clearing away, allowing flights to finally get back in the air. Thousands of flights have been canceled since the volcano began spewing nearly a week ago. Estimates of losses in the US economy is $130 million a day. The next Supreme Court justice nominee will be the focus of a meeting today between President Obama and a bipartisan group of lawmakers. Republicans have threatened to filibuster any liberal or judicial activist nominee. Obama will soon choose a replacement for retiring Justice John Paul Stanley Stevens. General Motors says it has paid back the U.S. and Canadian governments the $6 billion they received in last year's bailout. The automaker promised two weeks ago to repay the loans by June. On the Wall street journal website, GM chief executive Ed Whitaker wrote it's proof the new GM is moving forward. A 23 year old Tennessee man accused of resetting Sarah Palin's private Yahoo email and gaining access to her account will face Palin in court. Testimony in the court of David Kernow got underway on Tuesday in Knoxville. Palin is ex. Is expected to eventually take the stand. The alleged incident happened during the 2008 election. This is Aaron on all the hits. Q100 with the news.
Burt (Host)
I think you did a great job. You did a great job for filling in like that that quickly. Are you kidding me? Good job.
Heather (Co-host)
Where's Carter?
Burt (Host)
Yeah, where's Melissa? How you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good. Feeling pretty good. I got through that a lot at one point. I thought you were going to pass out.
Dolvett (Reality Show Participant)
Me too.
Burt (Host)
Me too. But went pretty well.
Aaron (Intern)
I'm alive.
Burt (Host)
You're alive. And you did good. You clutched up girl. That was hazing right there. That was Burt show hazing right there. I passed. We told Melissa, we told Melissa not to come in studio and we were going to put you on the spot. You did good, though.
Listener/Caller
Come over here.
Erin (Intern)
I think you did fantastic.
Burt (Host)
You did really good.
Jen (Co-host)
Thank you.
Aaron (Intern)
Thank you.
Burt (Host)
About halfway through. I seriously, I wish we would have put it on video because it looked like she was gonna pass out.
Show Announcer
I know.
Heather (Co-host)
The only thing that we didn't do that I wish we did do is put the name of the Icelandic volcano in.
Erin (Intern)
That would have been terrible. Good job.
Burt (Host)
You handled it really well. Thank you Very well. Good morning, Adam. You're on Q100.
Victor (Caller)
Yeah, I was just wondering if that was all just one big news story or was there any separation in those stories at all?
Burt (Host)
Well, I think she delivers the news much like anybody under the age of 22 writes now. There aren't a lot of commas, no punctuation, no punctuation.
Jen (Co-host)
Serial grammar.
Burt (Host)
It shows about how many breaths I took. Maybe about two. Here's Kevin. Good morning, Kevin. You're on Q100.
Ben (Caller)
Oh, is this on Q100.
Burt (Host)
Yes.
Victor (Caller)
Oh, sorry. For a second there, I thought I was listening to npr.
Burt (Host)
Hey, delivering that hard news that you need to get it to you quick.
Erin (Intern)
I would take that as a compliment. You know what?
Burt (Host)
Look, most interns would have just said, I can't do it. You gotta find somebody else. You jumped right in, gets in the saddle when you need me.
Heather (Co-host)
I got it.
Burt (Host)
Very good for you.
Jen (Co-host)
I'm all over it.
Show Announcer
Listen, it's the Vert show this episode sponsored by Eureka Ergonomic why should your standing desk make your home feel like a fluorescent lit cubicle? You've worked hard to make your space feel warm, clean and intentional, so your desk should fit right in. That's why Eureka Ergonomic stands out. Eureka Ergonomic creates standing desks, ergonomic chairs, and workspace furniture that look beautiful in your home and feel great to use every day. Choose from designs that blend into your home while giving you the height, adjustability and support you need every day. With Eureka Ergonomic, you're not choosing between style and comfort. You get both. Visit eureka ergonomic@eurekaergonomic.com that's E U R E K A ergonomic E R G O N O M I C dot com and find a standing desk that works hard without making your home feel like a cubicle.
Apollo Advertiser
This episode sponsored by Apollo. Still moving deals forward from your desk. With Apollo, you can go to market on the go, find leads, research accounts, and launch outreach right Inside Claude and ChatGPT. You can even make calls or research leads from Gmail, your CRM or company websites. So whether you're at the airport or on a coffee run, Apollo works where you work. No more switching tabs or devices. Grow boldly with Apollo, the revenue engine trusted by over 3 million teams. Visit Apollo I.O. anywhere and start free today. That's Apollo I.O. anywhere.
McDonald's Advertiser
All new drinks are now at McDonald's
with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam.
Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.
Burt (Host)
Refreshers contain caffeine.
Date: July 21, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen, Heather, Erin (intern), and callers
Episode Theme:
A classic morning blend of pop culture commentary, listener drama, behind-the-scenes pranks on interns, lively trivia, and open conversations about happiness and fulfillment, all delivered with The Bert Show’s authentic, playful, and occasionally irreverent style.
This episode spotlights three main threads:
| Time | Segment | |---------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:15–10:24 | Reality TV Recap: Bert’s friend Dolvett on Chilli’s show | | 12:00–16:14 | Intern Hazing Tradition (setup) and Erin’s on-air newscast | | 16:15–21:07 | “All or Nothing” Celebrity Trivia Contest | | 21:42–33:14 | “Having it figured out” — listener and host happiness stories| | 34:47–37:52 | Erin’s on-air newscast & team reaction |
This episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s blend of humor, honesty, and listener connection. From dissecting the perils of reality dating TV and poking fun at on-air traditions, to candid conversations about personal fulfillment and the power of gratitude, the episode flows with the energy of a morning spent among quick-witted friends—always ready to lift the mood or tell it like it is.
Missed the show but want the best moments? This summary captures the heartfelt calls, the reality TV roast, and intern heroics—all with laughter and real-life takeaways.