Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, March 10 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, March 10 [Vault]
Date: March 10, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this energetic and lighthearted episode, the Bert Show team tackles everything from living out wild car-related fantasies to handling exes who want “gifted” sports tickets back, and even science-backed parenting tips. The segment is filled with laugh-out-loud anecdotes, real listener calls, and that signature Bert Show camaraderie, making it a quintessential, highly relatable morning radio experience.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Living Out a Car-Ramming Fantasy

Starts at 01:01

• Background: Inspired by a Mike Tyson news story—where Tyson rammed through a stubborn security gate—the team discusses everyone’s latent desire to destroy annoying obstacles with their cars (01:19).
• Jeff’s Opportunity: After a listener offers up their old, barely-running van, Jeff gets to live out his dream of ramming a stray grocery cart in an empty lot (02:44).
• Play-by-Play: Melissa previews the event, and the crew marvels at the “perfect” van, complete with exhaust fumes and missing parts. Jeff rams the cart, and hilarity (and minor vehicle carnage) ensues.
  • Jeff: “Let her fly.” (06:34)
  • Burt: “Mainly because I don’t know if the van could have handled two [hits]…” (06:39)
• Aftermath: The grocery cart survives virtually unscathed; the van, not so much.
  • Burt: “The cart is fine. The cart not damaged at all.” (08:59)
  • Mike: “That is so funny.” (09:21)
• Moral: It's satisfying but totally not worth doing in real life, with the show issuing a tongue-in-cheek PSA:
  • Mike: “Don’t try this at home, kids.” (10:00)

Notable Moment:

• Jeff: “I want to run over everything now.” (10:16)
• Crew jokes about feeling “addicted” to the rush, underscoring the relatable impulse.

---

2. Listener Drama: The Ex, The Tickets, The Spite

Starts at 10:32

• Caller Nicole’s Dilemma: Nicole owns two championship game tickets, a birthday gift from her ex-boyfriend (a Georgia fan who dumped her after Florida beat Georgia). He now wants “his” ticket back (10:49).
• Debate & Advice:
  • Hosts agree Nicole owes her ex nothing and humorously strategize how she might send a message:
    • Jeff: “Why do you have to be nice about it at all? Why don’t you just call him back and say, ‘Are you kidding me?’” (13:12)
    • Mike: “You should do what every mature adult would do and just avoid the phone.” (13:21)
• Other Listeners’ Stories:
  • Callers share their own tales of relationship tickets woes, offering support and even jokingly creative “revenge” ideas.
    • Caller: “Put [a note] in an envelope, and on the piece of cardboard, put ‘In your dreams!’ Seriously.” (17:33)
    • Another caller suggests making a sign at the game to be caught on TV:
      • “Thanks for the ticket!”—hoping her ex sees it on the broadcast (18:05)

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• Jeff: “You have no obligation to him whatsoever. It should be an easy phone call… It was my birthday. They were both a present. You didn’t get me one ticket for the game, you got me two. It’s over.” (13:29)
• Mike: “If that’s the case, then just take his best friend.” (14:47)
• Nicole: “Wendy, if my friend decides not to go… you have the other ticket.” (18:23)

---

3. The Marshmallow Test: Can You Predict Your Kid’s Success?

Starts at 18:45

• Stanford Study: The team unpacks a famous study where kids are left with a marshmallow and told they can have a second if they wait 15 minutes. Whether they eat the first marshmallow immediately or wait is said to predict their self-discipline and later success (19:26).
• Discussion:
  • Four out of eleven kids ate the marshmallow in the first minute—“zero self-discipline” (20:32).
  • The hosts highlight the key takeaway: self-discipline, not innate “smarts,” predicts long-term success.
    • Jeff: “From a ton of research, self-discipline is a key success factor for kids.” (20:32)
  • Practical joking ensues, with Burt suggesting separating “kids, smart kids, and dumb kids” at the Thanksgiving table (23:41).
  • They also riff about an adult version of the marshmallow test, using shots at a bar.
    • Burt: “You can have this Patron shot right now, or you can have two in 15 minutes. And I think I would probably fail miserably.” (23:54)

Notable Quotes:

• Burt: “You want to sort the kids out early. You want to be able to separate them. So not only at Thanksgiving do you have a kids table, [but also] a smart kids table, and a dumb kids table.” (23:41)
• Jeff: “If you could just hold out for a little bit here, you’re gonna get twice as much in 15 minutes or whatever… it’s a predictor that they’ll be more successful in school and in life.” (21:28)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jeff: “I say it’s worth it.” (05:42) — on risking a dodgy van for fantasy fulfillment.
• Melissa: “I had a passenger side door that would open…there was a bungee cord attached to the passenger side door…that’s the way I kept the door shut.” (06:12)
• Caller: “I know how death must feel. It must be liberating, because I deliver mail…and for some reason, people think every Thursday they need to put their trash can in front of the mailbox…” (09:27)
• Burt: “It feels so good. But seriously, don’t do it.” (10:06)

---

Structure & Timestamps

• 01:01 | Car-rage fantasy setup & story
• 03:11 | Listener provides van for experiment
• 06:34 | Ramming the grocery cart (play-by-play)
• 08:59 | Cart survives, van doesn't
• 10:32 | Ex-boyfriend wants birthday tickets back
• 13:12 | Advice for Nicole on dealing with the ex
• 17:04 | Audience calls with relateable stories and “revenge” plans
• 18:45 | The Marshmallow Test: predicting children’s future success
• 21:28 | Practical implications of self-discipline
• 23:41 | Thanksgiving humor about sorting kids by discipline

---

Tone & Style

True to The Bert Show’s signature approach, the episode brims with candid, conversational humor and warmth. Relatable everyday irritations are elevated to entertaining storytelling, with an undercurrent of honesty—whether discussing laughable automotive mishaps, tricky ex dynamics, or parenting strategies. Moments of listener interaction reinforce the “we’re all in this together” mood that defines the show.

---

In Closing

From destructive van antics to “petty” but justified drama over sports tickets and a marshmallow-fueled foray into child psychology, this Bert Show episode delivers laughs, solidarity, and even a practical takeaway or two—perfect for anyone wanting their morning made a little brighter.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

Finding a hoodie that lasts through the season can be tough. The American Giant Classic Full zip hoodie is made to last a lifetime. So you can count on it to bring you comfort and warmth year after year. The iconic Classic full zip hoodie is the jacket that started it all for American Giant. Custom heavyweight fleece and side panels for mobility make it the best hoodie ever. And a double lined hood and reinforced elbow patches means this hoodie will last. Born from a commitment to support the communities that create its products. Every American Giant piece is made in America America and designed to last, no exceptions. The result is durable clothing like the premium slub crew tee, no bs, High rise pant and slim roughneck pant that become part of your life. Snag the hoodie that will bring you comfort for life. The American giant classic full zip and save 20% off your first order at american-giant.com when you use code STAPLE20 at checkout, that's american-giant.com code STAPLE20.

[Burt]

The Burt Show.

[Jeff]

Jeff got to live out a fantasy yesterday. Not only for him, but I think for all of us. Have at least had this thought in our minds at one point or another.

[Burt]

I gotta tell you, Bert asked me this morning when I came in how it felt and it felt better than I expected. This is so funny, I gotta be honest with you.

[Mike]

Because it started with that Mike Tyson story.

[Burt]

Yeah, Mike Tyson couldn't get through the gate of a community that he was visiting. Gate wasn't opening fast enough or that wasn't accepting his code, so he just rammed it.

[Jeff]

Yeah, generally I think if you have a tattoo on your face, you don't take no for an answer.

[Burt]

So. So there was a picture of the messed up gate in the news and Jen did the story in Entertainment Buzz and so we started talking about that and talking about how we all have these weird frustrations in the car that all have to do with patience, like waiting for the arm to go up so you can leave the airport parking lot or any parking garage, you know, so you gotta put your like. I have a very vivid memory of when Hayden was born leaving Northside Hospital. And we went to the wrong gate, but I didn't notice it and it wouldn't open. And I remember sitting there going, I'm gonna have to ram it. I'm gonna have to ram the gate.

[Jeff]

Thank you, baby Hayden.

[Burt]

But then you see the sign that says this entrance or exit closes at 10pm Please use whatever. I'm like, ah, crap.

[Jeff]

Right?

[Burt]

Because the sign's up. Then you don't have an excuse to ram it. So that's been living in the back of my head. And it rears itself. Whenever I'm in a parking garage or when I'm cruising through a parking lot and I just see one lonely grocery cart, I hear that theme from, you know, like, the good, bad, and ugly. Like, there should be. Yeah, there should be tumbleweeds going. Tumbleweeds blowing by.

[Mike]

And I'm like, little trigger.

[Melissa]

Your little hands shifting. Yeah.

[Burt]

Ready to go. I got, you know, like, I can get up to third gear by the time I hit it. So I mentioned that we were talking about the Mike Tyson thing, and a listener called up and said, look, if you want to live out this fantasy, I've got a van. I just bought a new car.

[Melissa]

Perfect.

[Burt]

I've got a van that's like 20 years old. It's on its last leg. Which is actually funny because I got a phone call while they were setting up for it that the van stalled.

[Jeff]

Oh, really?

[Burt]

And our intern Jason had to go get his car and get cables and jump the van to get it started.

[Jeff]

And there's a three kidnapping maximum on any van. And I think he's probably kidnapped three people. So he had to get the car. Right.

[Burt]

So he's gotta turn it over to the next. So he, you know, so they get the van running, and they call me up and they go, okay, so we're ready for you. Come on down. So Melissa and I go downstairs and. And they had. I don't know. I'm bad at distances 50 yards away.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I am too. But we turned the corner from our office building to get there, and we both stopped, and we're like, that is exactly what we thought that van looked like.

[Burt]

But there's the van and it's running, and it's got, you know, it's chilly outside, so. And I think the engine's a little bit jacked up. Cause it is. I mean, I think you said it's an 85.

[Jeff]

Is the exhaust kind of puttering out of the back and puffs.

[Burt]

But it's big puffs of white smoke.

[Jeff]

That's great.

[Burt]

So you'll see that in the video. Big puffs of white smoke. So the van is running, and then 50, 60 yards down the parking lot is just one lonely grocery store.

[Jeff]

There it is. Come saying, hit me, hit me, boy. Take me out.

[Burt]

And this is in a parking lot where there's some construction going on. But obviously with the economy, this project has been stalled. So it's completely empty. There's no one in the parking lot, so it's ours. So as soon as I see it, I get excited. I'm like, oh, this is exactly what I imagined.

[Jeff]

It's gonna be fun.

[Burt]

So I'm talking to Melissa, and she's gonna do like, an intro, like, kind of do a play by play thing for it. And then I. I'm gonna ram the cart. And so I'm getting over there, and I see our. Our webmaster and the guy who's our videographer, and he says, okay, ready to do this? I said, yep. And he goes, okay, well, just so I'm on record as saying, so you could die. And I'm like, excuse me. And he goes, just want to go on record as saying the car could come up through the windshield. The car could go flying down over the hill like all this other stuff. The van could explode, the brakes could fail. Like, he goes over every possible doomsday. And I'm like, why are you doing this?

[Melissa]

To alleviate him, right?

[Burt]

And he goes, because that way, if anybody asked me, because he was the only employee out there, because we had. All of our interns were down there. Rich was down there, and intern Jessica was down there, and intern Jason was down there. But the only paid employee was our videographer. And he's like. So I just. Everybody heard that, right? Jeff could die or be maimed.

[Jeff]

And I'm like, I say it's worth it. Yeah, I say it's worth it.

[Melissa]

I am not responsible for what happens to Jeff's brain when these shards of

[Mike]

metal go through, right?

[Burt]

So, I mean, this van is held together. Like I told the guy, I wanted the window rolled down, you know, and so I tried to roll. He goes, no, it doesn't look like that. And he pulls the door apart, takes a screwdriver out, and then the window just falls into the door.

[Jeff]

Haven't we all had a car like that at one point or another, where you can point to anything in the vehicle and it's just not working? Like the glove compartment. Every time you go around a right turn, the glove compartment opens up.

[Melissa]

I actually had a passenger side door that would open. So there was a bungee cord that was attached to the passenger side door and to the console in the middle, the emergency brake. And that's the way I kept the door shut.

[Burt]

So we're ready to go, and we're ready to do this. So Melissa does a little bit of an intro, and then I hop in the van and I make one nice, strong. It only took one.

[Jeff]

Let her fly.

[Burt]

Mainly because. And you'll see this in the video.

[Jeff]

Can't wait to watch.

[Burt]

Mainly because I don't know if the van could have handled two, but.

[Melissa]

Well, I think when you. When I got there, yeah, when I got there, I said, who's gonna win, the van or the cart? Because everybody just assumes that the cart is gonna be airborne and go 50, 100ft, and the cart is just this little drinky dink thing.

[Jeff]

Not if the van is from 1982,

[Wendy]

but I think you'll be surprised.

[Jeff]

Pretty good handicap. All right, so we're gonna play the audio from the video here. The video is now up online on our [e-mail] and we'll see if it prints on the air also.

[Mike]

Can we watch? Can we watch?

[Jeff]

Can I?

[Burt]

Yeah, you go over there and watch. So, Melissa, you haven't seen this yet, have you? I mean, you lived it, but you haven't seen it.

[Wendy]

We all have fantasies when we're in traffic. You know, you're frustrated, and you just want to move ahead, and so you want to ram the car in front of you, but you don't. You have the fantasy.

[Jeff]

You don't do it.

[Wendy]

We talked on the bird show about that. But Jeff's fantasy is not a car

[Melissa]

in front of him.

[Wendy]

It's a shopping cart. Cart. He's like, you know, there's so many random shopping carts in parking lots. He's like, just one time, I want to gun it, and I want to hit the shopping cart. Well, you know what? We want to make Jeff Dollar's fantasy company.

[Jeff]

I'm so excited.

[Wendy]

We are here today, about to get into a van. Thanks to Burt show listeners.

[Mike]

Wow, that's a sexy man.

[Jeff]

You know what? That's the kind of van that you see on the side of the road that's just been pulled over by nine cops with, like, 400 pounds of weed or 400 people. Let's do it.

[Burt]

Cue the Rocky theme. I'm getting in the love mobile.

[Jeff]

It's a beige 70s color band, too, with brown trim, with no hubcaps.

[Burt]

Look at the exhaust.

[Jeff]

That's awesome. Spewing smoke. That thing is nasty.

[Burt]

Here it comes.

[Jeff]

Get it, boy. Go get it.

[Mike]

Yes, sir.

[Jeff]

Damn. That didn't go nearly as far as

[Mike]

I thought it should.

[Jeff]

No, it didn't go as far as I thought it would go. So

[Burt]

the door got stuck shut, and

[Jeff]

the cart is just lonely and on its side, and the front of the

[Burt]

van is just jacked up.

[Mike]

Jeff sitting in that van is priceless.

[Burt]

That right there is a good cart.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hit.

[Jeff]

So that's online right now.

[Commercial Announcer]

Crashed.

[Burt]

And look at. The cart is fine. The cart not damaged at all.

[Jeff]

The bad fender has. And the bumper has fallen off, but the cart is in perfect working order.

[Mike]

That's why people use those on the after Thanksgiving sale to ram people. Because those carts are stuck sturdy.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Burt]

Like, don't ever do it.

[Mike]

That is so funny.

[Jeff]

Good morning. Q100.

[Nicole]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

Good morning.

[Caller]

I know how death must feel. It must be liberating, because I deliver mail. And for some reason, people think that every Thursday they need to put their trash can in front of the mailbox.

[Nicole]

And I just want to come through the neighborhood and take out every trash

[Caller]

can that is in front of the mailbox. I do not want to smell your trash while I'm trying to put your mail in his box.

[Jeff]

Yeah. Jeff lived this for you yesterday. His is in the form of a shopping cart, but he did this for you.

[Caller]

Thank you very much.

[Jeff]

He did this for all of us. You're welcome.

[Burt]

And I don't want to encourage this because it jacked up. I gave Bert a piece of the van like it is.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Don't try this at home, kids.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Your car will take a beating.

[Melissa]

It's not worth it.

[Burt]

It feels so good. But seriously, don't do it.

[Mike]

Now. Here's my question. Do you think that now when you see grocery carts, you're going to want to ram them more than before?

[Burt]

The worst possible thing I could have. I want to run over everything now.

[Jeff]

You're an addict now. I can't. It feels so great.

[Burt]

The Burt Show.

[Jeff]

So Nicole's got herself some tickets to the championship game. She will watch Florida and she will watch Oklahoma Duke it out. But her ex boyfriend will not be there and he doesn't know it yet. Hey, Nicole.

[Nicole]

Hey, Bert.

[Jeff]

How are you?

[Nicole]

I'm actually doing pretty great after Saturday.

[Jeff]

I bet you're a Florida fan, right?

[Nicole]

Die hard. I bleed orange and blue since birth.

[Jeff]

Well, congratulations.

[Nicole]

Thank you very much.

[Jeff]

So how many weeks ago did you buy these tickets?

[Nicole]

We bought them just either way, no matter who was going to make it. We bought them actually just before the Florida Georgia game this year.

[Jeff]

Okay, we have to get all of the facts straight here. So when you say we bought them, did you buy them or did you go 5050 with him on them?

[Nicole]

They were technically a birthday present from him to you. From him to me. Because my birthday is on Florida Georgia games this year.

[Burt]

So did. Did you know they were coming? Like, did you guys talk about it and say this?

[Nicole]

I had no Idea. It was a big surprise.

[Burt]

So you got that, you open up a box, and in there is a note that says, I've purchased you two tickets to the game. They'll be here in a week.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Jeff]

All right. And while you guys were dating, I'm assuming he's a Florida fan also.

[Nicole]

No, he's a Georgia fan.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Burt]

But is Georgia going to the national championship this year?

[Mike]

I don't think so.

[Jeff]

I've got some pictures coming up on the 18th that will answer that question for you.

[Mike]

It's got a bad payoff that proves otherwise.

[Burt]

Are you totally unrelated, but are you really putting on one of Those little Georgia GS that people paint on their cheeks? On your ass cheeks?

[Jeff]

Well, I wouldn't say little. Okay, so. Okay, so he buys them for you. He's a Georgia fan, so he's not as invested in Florida. So what makes you even think that he's going to be upset that he's not going to the game?

[Nicole]

Well, see, we ended up. He broke up with me on the Florida Georgia game because Florida won. I guess whatever is kind of a shady character. But he called me yesterday telling me that just to leave his ticket in his mailbox today when I drive him from work because he was wanting to use it.

[Jeff]

All right, hold on. We got to back up. He broke up with you on. On game day. Florida, Georgia, game day. Because Florida beat Georgia.

[Nicole]

He said what he told me. He said he just. He just couldn't take it any longer, so he broke up with me on. After the game ended.

[Burt]

So he gave you the tickets before the game, dumped you after the game, and now want you to drive one of the tickets over to his house and leave it for him?

[Nicole]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Jeff]

I'm a little torn because as a Georgia fan, I do respect that he broke up with you on that day. Come on.

[Burt]

No way. Doesn't matter.

[Jeff]

Those are your tickets.

[Mike]

Your tickets.

[Jeff]

He's not entitled to those at all.

[Mike]

And it was a gift.

[Nicole]

Yeah. So my. My thing is, how do I spitefully tell him if there is no way over my dead body he's getting one of those tickets?

[Jeff]

Why do you have to be nice about it at all? Why don't you just call him back and say, are you kidding me? Those were a gift. You're not getting anything.

[Burt]

Those were a gift. And I'm going with my new friend Wendy.

[Jeff]

Yay.

[Nicole]

There you go.

[Mike]

I think you should do what every mature adult would do and text him and just not say anything at all. I just avoid the phone.

[Jeff]

This Is a slam dunk here. I mean, you have no obligation to him whatsoever. It should be an easy phone call. You bought the tickets for me. It was my birthday. They were both a present. You didn't get me one ticket for the game. You got me two. It's over.

[Nicole]

All right. Just making sure I was covering my end. So I wasn't going to be that girl.

[Caller]

That girl?

[Jeff]

I don't think so. Right?

[Mike]

No, no, not at all. I think that you are absolutely in the right.

[Jeff]

Like, the only way it would be controversial is if, like, you bought him the tickets. Yeah. You broke up with him, maybe. And you wanted one of the tickets. But this is a slam dunk here.

[Mike]

Right. And it's your team that's going to the national championship.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

All right. Good to know.

[Mike]

You know, I think that he might actually have more of an argument if it were his team.

[Nicole]

Right.

[Mike]

Do you know what I'm saying? I would feel more sympathy for him if he gave her the tickets and then it was his team that ended up going and it wasn't her team, but she was gonna.

[Burt]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

I would feel like, oh, man, that does really stink for him. Because his team is going, but his team isn't going. Yours is. And he broke up with you because your team won.

[Jeff]

This may be pretty basic, but if you tried to look into it, I wonder if he's using that ticket to get back to hang out with you for a couple of hours. Just.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I hope not.

[Jeff]

Maybe he's using that as just the time to start to get back in your good graces because he's trying to, I don't know, get back with you.

[Mike]

If that's the case, then just take his best friend.

[Jeff]

I don't believe that he broke up with you because his team lost that badly and he couldn't take it. He had to have another reason.

[Nicole]

Well, I certainly. At least I can say I certainly hope it was for something more, you know, substantial than you know of game.

[Jeff]

I just don't know.

[Mike]

It's pretty substantial.

[Jeff]

Did he break up with you during the game, or was it right after the game?

[Nicole]

Because it was about an hour and a half after the game.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't wait till second half. He could have done, then saved himself a couple hours. It was over by then.

[Mike]

That's true.

[Jeff]

Hey, Candace. Good morning.

[Burt]

You're on Q100 remembers all those losses.

[Nicole]

Good morning. First of all, I have to say

[Caller]

I absolutely love you guys. I moved from Texas a year and A half ago. And I listen to you every morning on the way to work.

[Melissa]

Thanks.

[Nicole]

I just have.

[Caller]

First of all, she's. She has no obligation just say, I mean, however she wants to do it. The tickets are not his. But I had a similar. Well, kind of similar situation. I had gotten Deftones tickets for my birthday from my little brother. And I had been in a three and a half year relationship. And the last, you know, the last stretch of it was pretty bad with this guy that I was with. And I had actually bought. My brother bought me one ticket. I had bought the other ticket, and at the weekend was rounding about for the Deftones concert, and we just were not getting along, period. It just was not working. He was being a complete. You know what? And so I just. That Friday I told him, I called him and I said, you know what? At this point, I just don't even see how we're going to be able to have a good time together. And this was a birthday present for my brother, and, you know, we're going together, and I feel like it's just not possible for us to have fun. So I'm not going with you. And I ended up taking my. One of my best friends, Hannah, instead. And by the time I got back Sunday, he was already telling people we had broken up.

[Melissa]

Oh.

[Caller]

And, well, that was pretty much the end of our relationship was that turning point of the concert. But, you know, when we got back Sunday, I talked to him and. And, you know, that it was over. But he was that kind of guy that he just had already told people in my hometown and, you know, was spreading rumors and stuff.

[Jeff]

Tell him again, because that ain't gonna happen. There are some women calling up that want to get a little bit more spiteful about it than that. Hey, Katie, good morning. You're on Q and A.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Jeff]

Good morning.

[Caller]

Okay, just to get the facts straight, he got her a birthday present of these tickets that he gave her. He broke up with her because he's a sore loser on her birthday, right?

[Jeff]

Correct.

[Caller]

Okay. What I think she should do is send him a text message saying, I'm on my way to drop the tickets off in your mailbox. Now, cut out a little piece of cardboard, put it in an envelope, and on the piece of cardboard, put in your dreams. Seriously?

[Jeff]

Yes. Yeah.

[Caller]

I don't know where he gets off thinking that he's actually going to this game.

[Jeff]

We can do better than that even.

[Mike]

See, we can do arts and crafts when we get spiteful, start cutting letters

[Burt]

out of magazines and stuff.

[Mike]

It's therapeutic.

[Jeff]

Hey, Susan. Go ahead. You're part of the Burt Show. Hi.

[Nicole]

Hey. Just wanted to tell a caller that she owes no obligation to him to give him a phone call or a text message. What she needs to do is invite someone else to the game with her, make a big poster that says thanks for the ticket and hope like hell that the TV scans in front of her.

[Burt]

Yes, that I like.

[Jeff]

That I like crafts again.

[Mike]

Great.

[Jeff]

That's the one that they pan to, too. Like I'm here with my. My ex boyfriend's tickets.

[Burt]

Love it.

[Jeff]

That would make it.

[Mike]

That is a great idea.

[Jeff]

All right, Nicole, you got no obligation this guy. Do what you want with the tickets.

[Nicole]

All right, well, Wendy, if my friend decides not to go and has her kid, you have the other ticket.

[Jeff]

All right, I'm ready to go.

[Mike]

Orange and blue needs to be. And I'm gonna be there.

[Nicole]

There you go.

[Jeff]

Thanks for calling.

[Burt]

Bye.

[Jeff]

Bye.

[Burt]

Get it the Bird show.

[Jeff]

Researchers at Stanford say that there is an easy in home test you can do with your kids tonight to determine if they're more apt to be successful in school and in life. And it's just gonna take you to marshmallows. And they say the genius of this experiment was that they followed children for 18 years after they gave them this experiment. And there was. This was an amazingly strong predictor of their success in school and their adjustment, their happiness, and even in their popularity.

[Mike]

What difference does it make if you know.

[Jeff]

If you know what?

[Melissa]

Oh, if they're gonna be success, do you think you can change their fate?

[Jeff]

I think with the results of this test, you can. You can fix it.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jeff]

All right. Here is the test. And it's so easy. You're gonna go, how in the world is that going to be any kind of indication on how your kids are going to be successful? Here's what you do. You place one marshmallow in front of your kid. Okay? You then say to your child, you can eat this marshmallow now, or you can wait until I come back and I'll give you two marshmallows. And then you leave the room for 15 minutes. Now, 15 minutes to a five year old or a six year old, that is eternity right there.

[Mike]

Is that the age where you're supposed to do the test?

[Jeff]

It doesn't exactly say, let's see, 11 kids. They say toddler age. So what are we talking about? 4, 5, 6? 3, 4, 5.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

2, 3, I think 3, 4, 5, something like that. And I've got a link up to this on our website. Where they did this test on a TV station in Minnesota. So it'll give you a better indicator how old the kids were. But I think, you know, three, four, five years old. Okay, so you take off from the room and you see what your kid will do. In their Test in Minnesota, 11 kids who took part four ate the marshmallow within the first minute.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Jeff]

0 self discipline whatsoever. Here's what they, here's why they say that this experiment is so important. Says they're not predicting that any of these kids are gonna be either good at self discipline or not. What we really wanna do is help parents try to figure out how we can help our kids develop more self discipline. Because we do know that from a ton of research, and this is coming right from Stanford, from a ton of research, that self discipline is a key success factor for kids. The ability to say no to themselves. So you're placing them in an atmosphere where they are totally responsible for their own actions. And you're saying, look, if you could just hold out for a little bit here, you're gonna get twice as much in 15 minutes or whatever. So if the kid takes the marshmallow immediately, you can start to teach him some self discipline by going, look, you're getting two in 15 minutes. And with that self discipline, it's a sure predictor that they'll be more successful in school and more successful in life.

[Mike]

Instead of sleeping in when you want to sleep in, you get up and go to work.

[Jeff]

And again, they follow these kids for 18 years. 18 years. And the research showed that if you can teach them to be self disciplined during this one test, I don't know what their definition of successful is in the future, but if you could teach them this one test and have them be self disciplined for 15 minutes, that they're more apt to be successful later on in life. And it makes sense, right?

[Burt]

That's fair.

[Mike]

Yeah, it definitely makes sense.

[Burt]

Did it give you a percentage? Is it like 80%, 90%, or is it like 51%?

[Jeff]

It didn't. It came in the form of a book. So I think what they're doing is they're teasing you here to go get the book. And I have a link on over to that on our website, [e-mail] so they're not giving you everything obviously.

[Melissa]

Right.

[Jeff]

But they just give you the gist of it is again, you sit your toddler down, put a marshmallow in front of the toddler and say, look, you can eat this right now if you want, or you can Wait. And when I come back, you can have two marshmallows. So it's right there in front of them. That's your reward for holding out. And then you leave the room and you see what they do.

[Mike]

So the first batch, you said out of 11, four of them ate it right away. Did they do different sections? Was there like a medium one that did it after, I don't know, 10 minutes or.

[Jeff]

You gotta buy the book. I think. I think this is their tease to

[Mike]

buy the book because I would like to see how many of them resisted it until the entire 15 minutes was up, I think. And what that predicts about that kid or if you were somewhere in between. Like, it wasn't the first minute, it wasn't the 15th minute, but it was 10 minutes in. They were like, all right, I held out this long, now I gotta have the marshmallow.

[Jeff]

I think, hey, I think my 6 year old would pass it. I'm looking at my 18 month old and he's so wild already. He's so different than Hayden when he gets a little older. I don't see him passing this test. I think he's more like his dad. Good morning, Nadine. You're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Are you in trouble if your kid doesn't like marshmallows?

[Jeff]

I don't think so.

[Nicole]

Can you use anything?

[Jeff]

Yeah, I think you can if your kid likes chocolate or whatever. I think it's more the message behind them really wanting whatever that is in front of them and being able to hold out for just a couple of minutes.

[Nicole]

Okay. Because there's about 16 toddlers in my family, so I'm gonna be doing this for everyone. There are a lot of toddlers in my family.

[Jeff]

That's good.

[Burt]

That's what you want to do. You want to sort the kids out. All right. You want to sort the kids out early. You want to be able to separate them. So not only at Thanksgiving, you have a kids table, a smart kids table, and a dumb kids table.

[Jeff]

Aww. We could do this also. We could go to East Andrews and we could set up a whole bunch of patron shots for you. You can have this patron shot right now, or you can have two in 15 minutes. And I think I would probably fail miserably.

[Burt]

The bird show.